How Do My Wife And I Split The Mortgage Payment? 

lol

Not the same

@@princekiki33 woosh

You should buy a t-shirt that says “My kids think I’m an ATM”.

@D C you have a kid, it's your responsibility to look after. Not the taxpayers

Glad it works for you. I personally don't want to have to answer for how I'm spending my "play" money.

@@TheAgentmigs That's the great thing about just staying single...besides the crying myself to sleep part.

@@TheAgentmigs If you want to do your own thing, then just don't get married.

@@TheAgentmigs You don't have to have separate finances to have that privilege. That's just an excuse.

Truth

Kinda, but not really. 50% of marriages fail and I believe most of those people had doubts early on. So to me it shows their level of vulnerability and how confident they are in their marriage.

Ever tried to have sex with a wallet? Didn’t think so. 😆

@@shelleygreyrealtor 50 percent do fail, but 97 percent of men loose in their vow to the government when it does end. Remember men, you may love your wife and she may love you, but you stand before a state court (not a preacher) if it doesn't work out whether it's your fault, her fault or both of your faults.

The wife could make more; it's never mentioned and he might be calling because she doesn't want to share with him. Have you ever thought about that? It's probably not the case, I know, but it could be. lol

Bingo!

No, because in that case, Andrea would be calling in instead.

@@TheFlyingZuluNah.

Not necessarily. Sometimes people call saying that it's unfair their spouse is making them pay for half the bills when that other spouse makes substantially more money.

The problem is those who concern about who make more and therefore want more benefit from a marriage to make things fair. This is a sign of bad marriage or marriage with little love. One can make more money for now does not necessarily make more later. If that person face some kind of unexpected event like unemployment or sickness, income will be close to none. This show someone selfishness. I experienced this. I held back my career because as a woman I don’t want to put down man ego and at some point to have to slow down when I have kids. My ex bring this “I make more money than you” into finance fairness marriage discussions. I then knew how much he loved me. Along with other selfishness issue, I left. I let my career grow and I make twice as much as my ex after that. I am a working mom now and I still make much more than he is. People these days are too much into money. Find a capable partner, then u don’t have to worry about him/her being future loser.

Unfortunately, most women do not want to sign up for what you just explained depending on the timeline of events. Women want a guy who is already established typically. How long did your husband take to take on the financial burden of the family. Women will let a guy under 30 to not have it all figured out but after that they want a guy to be established.

@@journeytothevoid2899 probably about a year. I was working a job that involved travel, and didn't want to be away all the time on business after we were married so I transitioned to a different job that earned a little less. Around the same time he got a promotion that made it so he was earning about what I had made before. We basically swapped places in terms of income. 😊

@@journeytothevoid2899 seems kind of normal for peoples expectations of a spouse to be higher as they age. If a person isnt fiscally stable well into your 30s they probably have some bagage a good amount of people wont want to deal with.

@@joreyn7656 Sounds like you swindled him.

exactly that really shows you have a lover, not a roommate that you don't trust.

It's not about your ego Cook...It's about protecting your arse...

How does it protect you? They still get half regardless if you share your checking account or not LOL @@666dr

❤❤❤

The dream 😍

@@loverules5118 When my husband had to have surgeries, he was paid as if he went to work regardless of how much time was needed off. All jobs aren't the same and some families pre-plan for situations like this.

@@loverules5118 Preparing for unlikely events has almost nothing to do with one income vs. two. You could both be in a car wreck and unable to work at any moment.

must be nice

I agree with you 💯 Husband and I do the same.

Typically I would agree, but with the divorce rates these days people although married are still scared to combine finances.

38 years together and the minute we were engaged it became we and ours.

@@t206kid True, my second wife and I married in our late 40's, early 50's and we both are already pretty well established. We have a joint account, but separate also, and honestly have not had any issues with "sharing the dream". It's worked pretty well so far.

@@t206kid if you are scared to combine finances, this is the first sign that the person is not marriage material

My guess would be that putting money in the bank account don’t make ppl moan😂

My MIL was like that. Her husband died three years before I met her. She was angry with him for years. I can not believe how financially clueless she is. She is 70 and.can't afford to quit working even with her SSI benefits.

It's not working, your kids are just lying about their relationship or don't care about it.

I suspect it's the high divorce rate, low trust marriage environment that creates fear in fully committing to share all aspects of life and be vulnerable, even in the financial partnership of marriage.

My wife and I have both joint and separate accounts. It works brilliant and we are generous with eachother

My wife and I have done separate accounts for 20 years and it worked fine for us. I don’t think we ever saw it connected to intimacy and especially don’t now. For us, it was a very effective way to deal with two very different approaches to money. If we had combined it, I suspect it would have led to a lot of unnecessary arguments and put a strain on our marriage. The way we have done it, it has removed it as an issue at all in our marriage.

@@jaymepechan2115 I agree! It works for us too. We do have each others name on the accounts,( sometimes he has me use his debit card for something, but,other than that, we just spend out of our own account. We pay our own bills & that way no issues with the money.

What has worked for them? That his business is separate from the marriage $$? It should be. That your mom pays for groceries and some bills and your dad saved and now they will both retire together some day? Should be interesting once your mom no longer has an income and is spending your dad´s $....maybe they could have joined their finances at the beginning and your mom take a course on budgeting etc. I think they are in for some frustating days ahead. Hope not.

Sounds like it worked out better for her.

That doesn’t sound like it worked out at all. If they had been operating as a team, maybe she could have learned some finance skills and they could have resolved their differences in counseling. The challenges could have forced improvement. Now your dad is just liable for her anyway, but this whole time she hasn’t learned how to manage money with him and they’re probably headed for some really rough times as a result.

When he dies you better takeover

@@montymython754 nah they pretty happy

Pre-divorce thinking.

I completely disagree with that you’re two separate people it’s easier to manage yourself than it is to manage yourself and another person and it takes away from getting mad at each other for spending money that was not discussed separate is way better same reason you have two different toothbrushes you don’t share toothbrushes😂

​@@kaydendressler4469 exactly. As long as we each pay our share of bills, i don't care what my wife buys, she doesn't care what i buy. Plain and simple

Yes, there is something going on...........men are waking up to the system (divorce courts, especially when there are children involved).

Food is very expensive. It is difficult to stay in a budget when you cook every night

@@katemiller7874 It's even more difficult to stay on a budget when you buy restaurant or takeout every night. Cooking at home is the most economical way.

This is about money & finances

to me this is like yes in health but no in sickness. and these "separately" thinking relationships do end up separating more often than not, since it's more using than giving imho.

The term "toxic relationship" is banded around with such reckless abandon these days. Jesus wept.

Some women have such bad money habits that he can't risk her F'ing up everything he works for or vice versa. Theu may love each other but one may be more responsible than the other & has to be in more control of the resources before they both end up in the poor house

"The lady" is Dave's daughter Rachel Ramsey Cruze. She is definitely on board with her dad ideas. Her husband also works for Ramsey Solutions, but not as an On-air. Personality.

@@devilsadvocate7059 I think it's smart to have a little tail on the side too

Nothing wrong with that

@@jeff-wv8te agreed

I hope he took Dave's advice.

That housework is worth something. It is money that you don't have to pay out. One of the best ways to save in my opinion is to take care of yourself as much as possible. If you are your own maid, mechanic, handyman, etc... You will go further. Good on you!

I don't think it's fair to paint every marriage with the same broad brush. The fact is that 50% of marriages fail, and I bet most of those marriages still have joint accounts. People manage money in different ways, and to insist everyone do it one specific way, and a way that doesn't have a great track record, is a little short-sighted IMO.

Nothing wrong with domestic. Don't say it like you're ashamed.

I'm in the same boat, but my wife makes double what I do.

@@boredoreos you’re living the dream!

thank you!!

I agree.

Amen!

I pay for everything, and my wife's money is Her's My leftovers are still more.

Close, the divorce rate is so high because women gain money and prizes from divorce. They have NO incentive to stay married, NONE.

Sounds perfect!

That's called a line item

There's nothing wrong with financial autonamy though.

I am lucky to earn enough that my wife can stay at home but we still have separate account. Her family is always asking for money, I can only support the two of us and she is usually to kind to say no to her relatives.

Amen

@@TheAgentmigs if you are single there isn't, if you are married there is.

@@TheAgentmigs Being married and financially autonomous are conflicting ideas. Just don't get married if you want separate finances.

That's usually not how it works (state laws vary). If he owes one more house payment after they get married, it's now split 50/50.

@@SalisburySnake Unless you can prove that the payments come from premarital assets

A prenuptial would be a good idea

@@codygordon59 a prenup and a quit claim deed.

Agree. I had an old account When I was single. My budgeted spend money goes into my account. That way it is my separate spending and I don't over spend it.

Also allows him to spend a little on his side chick without you noticing huh

That makes sense. Or you want buy something for yourself that requires more than one month's line item.

Two debit cards linking to same account does the same trick. Conforming to good advice despite your personal disagreement is a great quality of humility

Surprise Honey! I bought a Lamborghini! No really, it's for US!

You are right. One size does not fit all.

I think, but don't know, that it might be motivated by a little voice in their heads saying "This is mine not yours." Meaning, they aren't all in on the marriage, which... that raises all kinds of red flags for the health and wellbeing of the marriage long-term. Theoretically, it could tie in to a more selfish outlook on marriage as well. The "What do I get from this?" "How does this benefit me?" mentality. Now I know for some people there is also previous financial abuse from their parents or a past relationship, so they aren't willing to risk that again, but that also means they have some healing and probably some couple's counseling that they could benefit from.

seems strange too that you are living with the fiancee for two years and not married.....is it possible the guy is unsure all around ?

@@susanedghill609 It's possible, in which case the marriage should not move forward until those issues are resolved, but society has normalized 100% the concept of living with someone prior to the "I do's" which does introduce risk to each person, as Dave has explained on numerous occasions. Owning a house with a deceased fiance's parents for example. Society does not discuss THAT at all.

@@susanedghill609 couples have lived together for far longer than this one, and still aren't married.

Who pays for dinner? But you ordered cocktails while i ordered water. What happens if one spouse has a large medical emergency?

Take turns paying for dinner or pay for it out of the shared account. And health insurance and emergency funds, I'm not sure what you're asking. Just because you generally keep finances separate doesn't mean you wouldn't help eachother in an emergency.

​@@absolutetruth3290 You don't need to plan your life around hypothetical disasters that probably will never happen. In the unlikely event that they do, then you adjust.

I was a stay at home dad for years. I did not lose my knowledge and skills. If you come out the other side and know nothing, you probably knew nothing going into it. Nobody's fault but your own.

The more common issue is getting divorced due to money problems, which data shows are more prevalent when couples maintain separate finances. You’re more likely to have a problem due to not combining finances than due to not having “your own money.”

I agree. Most of what Dave is talking about is the event it actually works out! Lol if they get divorced, that is a whole different set of problems. Also depending on what state they are both in.

@@armandm.2166 if you think you would get a divorce then you should not get married.

This is again why both should know what is going on with the money. If you budget have goals you should have money in the bank and if something happens you should be fine. If you are unaware of what is going on that is when problems start to happen. In today's world, there is no reason to not have some skills or work from home even if it's part-time or have some side business. You could literally make money being an influencer posting dumb things.

@@michaelpalumbo4880 at that point he can ask for spousal support if she will make more money sounds like a win win

@@alburro5205 he can request spousal support only if she goes to work and makes more than him.

18 years of being losers

Same with my marriage. Never had a problem with money. It works great for us

Doesn’t sound like you were on the same page with the spouse or doing a budget together to work things out.

@@michellemorford349 I did do a budget together with her. Doesn’t keep one spouse from micromanaging the other.

@@craigcarter400 And that's why it's good. It unearths rotten marriages. Probably 10 years earlier than had you used separate money.

Vary Smart! 👍

Sounds incredibly and unnecessarily complicated

@@d_all_in That is what happens when a Pharma Research Scientist(with an MBA) and an engineer(with an MBA) get together. Yes she is the structural engineer. We are not the average couple.

@@gibblespascack1418 you're cringey af bro

@@d_all_in It works for us.

Yes, we all know its a waste of time because women do not feel its their duty to support a family.

Oui

Wouldn't that be jinxing the marriage from the start?

sounds like she needs to grow a spine. she shouldn't be making financial decisions with your money without discussing it together.

I think seperate accounts for you. Because my parents had that going on. She may not know it. But it can be a mental illness. Do what works. Everyone doesn't have the same situation.

You’re supporting the two of you so that she can help support her family? It sounds like your spouse (and her family) may be taking advantage of you.

Set a cutoff date for monies being siphoned to her family, or tell her to get at least a part-time job if she insists on continuing the gifts.

Me too!!. my husband makes more but we still split half for morgate but he pays for all the utilities and i pay for car insurance and phone. if we ever are short on money for bills we are comfortable and okay to come to each other to ask for help. I prefer to have my own account because i buy stuff he thinks its ridiculous.. he buys collectables that I think are ridiculous with also but we laugh it off and as long as the bills are taken care of.

You could do the same thing with a joint account. But, that would mean communicating. It´s hard. Particulary when one party wants to keep secrets from the other on what they are buying. Sad state marriage is in these days.

@@maryjones6115 amen! Just look at what the commenter above you wrote: that she and her husband can “ask the other for help”. That’s not how a marriage works!!! Marriage means you both have skin in the game, equally.

🤝

@@montymython754 All it comes down is having a good communication with your spouse. If you feel the need to combine income good for you 👏, but dont go bashing other people as if you live in our house.

Some people are bad with money but if they can be honest with themselves it works fine. My wife and I are very frugal but I'm terrible with cash. I used to give $100 bills to beggars or as tips fairly regularly, although our income was under $50k. So when we had cash it went into her wallet, and I was fine with that since I still had access to all bank accounts.

Basically missed out on 2 years of helping her grow in self-discipline. Missed out on 2 years of saving any of her money because you weren't placed in charge of it at all.

I make 3X more than my husband and we still share. I pay all the bills and rent but only because i am the finance person in the relationship.

@@teekaybe4016 paying all the bills😶‍🌫️🤐 what’s the use of him for then? Basically he’s useless

@@remainloyaltoyour0wnsoil580 Oh wow you sound kind of backwards. So are all men good for is their money?

He’s probably not the best partner

@@kristentyler6537 I completely agree. Lol the decision we make in life sometimes smh

He never answered the question, but if you do it his way, since everything is combined, you both are paying it, because everything is combined, everything is coming out of the same account,

I think it is pretty forward thinking. You make money, you contribute. It is more transparent as one can see how much each is contributing. When things get piled up, one can easily slack off.

@@wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303 If you’re keeping score, you’re doing it wrong.

@@JefferyHunt Hey, I am not going down with the train wreck. Stay true to old marriage values and you will always be struggling. Good luck!

For men ? It’s women making six figures and running circles around you men. It’s a gamble for women marry men who can’t lead a family

that's a great way to put it.

Those who become millionaires disagree

@@melanieb2132 then I'll be poor. But I'll be married to my wife.

@@rcmike09 you do you. But really, statistically speaking those that do it your way are more likely to divorce

You're married?

That's not a marriage. That's a roommate.

this just sounds sad... borrowing money from your spouse? yikes.

There's something cold about that. Sounds fair but ultimately, never works.

@@ellasoes8325 it never works ! Very true.

I’m asking myself the same question..

Then keep it separate and come up with a budget for splitting the bills!

Get a prenup and separate bank account.

The idea is to figure out if the spouse is selfish before getting married

In that case your future wealth is ruined anyway. No accounting system fixes selfish people.

If the spouse is not involved at all, you are missing out on wisdom