How Do We Stop Financially Supporting Our Family? 

They don’t even love you, you just become a cash cow. Sometimes they even live better back home.

@@gmarie3053 I gave a lot when I had little and it was never enough. Now, after over 2 decades of no contact, I have a lot and have a line in my will that states they have been intentionally excluded, they get nothing.

Me too...

​​@@gmarie3053yeap!. They created a falsly lifestyle on their own .

well family is family. even if they want you only for money, ok what can we do? they raised us. they are in need of our assistance as their children, how can i live happily knowing my dad for example doesnt have enough money to buy things he likes?! would you not expect the same from your children when they grow up? If not then whats the point of having kids if you know when they are gone into their own life they won't support you?!!! ( im not from south america BTW)

Ouch that is horrible. Sorry about all that

I’m glad you’re over it. It’s not worth it caring for people who only sees you as an atm machine

@@missmayakenya4302 Once you stop supporting people you become the bad person.

I'm going through this right now. Tired and over it

Same here. My mom was a kind lady and always tried to help the kids, perhaps too much. When she passed my siblings would come to me for their woes, financial or other. I would help them in the wrong way (giving money for things they don't need, co-signed on a car loan). Now I am going to provide help by educating or directing them ro resources but I'm not going to be the brother or uncle that is seen as a bank.

She picked this clown!

I could never understand this. I literally have to force my family to accept money I give them.

It is never enough.

I wouldn't mind helping out a bit if there were an emergency, like someone's house burned down or something, but regular checks in the mail, never happening.

😂😂

And when you are the bank to mom dad and the rest ?

It's so tough. Especially if you're an immigrant. It's like expected of you to support. Hard to support and also make your own finances in a good position. The guilt trip is unbelievable

@@Tunechi65 yeap, you can only do so much. even if you try to help them fish for their own fishes, they don't want to do it. at that point you just have to let them learn the hard way. i can do it, but my husband is still in the process and i trying my best to be patient.

@rebeccaoprea9917 Yes it's always one emergency after another....I'm sure you noticed that too.

@@Tunechi65 little do they know is that most single young male migrants work 2 or 3 jobs, share a room, eat cheap to save money and it sucks that they are expected to help the entire extended family.

🙏

@@Quinu12 I’ll think about it 😆

GREAT WORK, BREAK THE VICTIM MENTALITY 🥇

I have done the same thing many years ago. when a family member would ask for money, I would ask what they are doing with their money - they don't like that because they realize they could have the money if they stop wasting it.

"NO." is a complete sentence.

Same in African countries.

Yeah, for some reason, many people in other countries think we are all loaded over here. They don't realize that just because America has always been considered a wealthy nation they think that the civilians are. We are no wealthier than any other nation. Sure other nations may make a fraction of what we make, but their bills are a fraction of ours also. It all comes out the same.

Same in Jamaica

@@chrisannmaye9474 I am watching this because of my family in Jamaica

well thats truth. $500 US can pay and help a lot in somewhere like Venezuela or brazil.

I learned this the hard way, luckily now I have some friends who are there for me no matter what, but there are lot of users out there

@@BloomfieldMalls 👍

@@BloomfieldMalls 👍

True!

True

My paternal grandmother was broke … so her brothers said to the family “everyone should chip in” …. She had 2 brothers, 3 sons and 7 grandchildren. First thing I said - when everyone else has paid in, then ask me… until then, no thanks

I agree

Of course she and the husband will pay because they have been paying for stuff so more family will come with their demands. The couple should never say the date of their arrival or departure.

😂🤭 lol

This is not how Latino families work.

Better he needs to call his mom and inform her of such. African, Asian, Latino families are entitled ( I know it can happen in any family but those groups...) , if you dont put a stop to it will never go away.

Excellent

@@changgeorge2411That’s how boundaries work though.

Very much true

That’s interesting.

They are not leaving a luxurious lifestyle, but just having the choice to not work and someone else pays all your bills is la luxury in itself

Exactly. Men are the heads of households there anyway so if it comes from him they know it means business. He needs to stop letting them guilt him into the poor house.

Same money!

Exactly right.

She picked this clown over many decent guys. Her problem!

@@alinatamashevich3354 I understand your point, I personally dont like women who whine about their married lives which seems to be a theme on the delony show. This is a finance issue though, and its the husbands family, hes got to lay down the law here, not her.

In my case my siblings became leeches

Like me, super rich with that never-ending cash flow!😜

They don't realize that in the USA money is a necessity. Where in poorer Latin American countries they rely on each other, live with each other, and share everything. They are uneducated because they don't understand how financially the stress over money is in the USA. Just because you live in the USA doesn't mean you are rich.

They made it easy for you by blocking you.

Good for you

I don’t send money to people that eat fast food

Hopefully you don't fall for her guilt trap if she doesn't call you. Honestly, to block you because you said, no or refuse.🙄🙄

Older siblings at that

pretty common problem everywhere. My mother in law's sister was the same, likes nice brand name stuff, spent a lot of $$ on everyday stuff, and cry to my mother in law said she so poor have no $$ to buy house, my mother in law asked us kids to help, her daughter (my sister in law) said no way, not going to pay for them to buy a new house when their tv is bigger than ours. haha

yeah, i honor helping parents too, but only when they are old and can't work. i respect some want to support parents before retirement. however, i have trouble with my inlaws. once they know we open our door, they want to swing it wide open. it's so hard to want to help but not get taken advantage of. it happened too many time.

@@NoneYa-pg6dkSame here.

Maybe he got married to support his family?

400 - 500 a month is also a lot for most people in the USA!

“We haven’t been paid back, so now we don’t have the money to lend.”

Money sure does bring out people’s true colors!

OR BLOCK*

John said it wasn’t simple. According to the caller her husband wants to stop too.

@@justinbowman2126 yes but is going to be very difficult for the couple to be on the same page, probably

Because the way of life over there is different it’s not like America. In my country not North America it’s same. Life is hard there so supporting a bit is important

@@shachede6828 that's true, a lot of Americans won't even understand what you're talking about.

@@kbanghart specially if you're an immigrant. It's like expected of you to support. Hard to support and also make your own finances in a good position. The guilt trip is unbelievable

I think a lot of that is lack of sex education in those countries, especially if they're predominantly Catholic. Most think that all hormonal birth control is equivalent to abortion, and r*pe and s*xual ass*ult are rampant. Not to mention abortions are illegal in a lot of these countries.

True, I am going through that

its been years....I need to set boundaries because its too draining and it's unfair to my husband

It makes sense to support Mom in a society without our advantages. Sending expected checks to able bodied siblings is another matter.

totally get it here. Same situation

Which is why men need to be very suspicious of marrying women from those cultures. Their family view you as a meal ticket, and expect you to bridge the gap for their own failings and that of their society. You need to sniff that out up front. I married an Eastern gal and wouldn’t change a thing, but understand women will take advantage of your good nature.

@@Evil-Rod-Farva Very true.

@@Evil-Rod-Farva I agree. Especially if you make really good money. That woman or man that you marry could be marrying you just cause their family overseas needs support. Best to marry someone from your own country and save the hassle.

Stop giving them money, block them on your phone

Wow! You have made some bad choices. Not to late to change.

Tell them no and stop giving them money. You aren’t the bad one here.

Stop giving them money altogether. Just stop! Tell them you made a bad investment, have lost all your money and have gone bankrupt. As a result, you don't have the money to support them any more. Or, that you've lost your old job and the new one pays you only half of what used to make, so you're barely managing to make ends meet and don't have any money to send them any more. And you don't know if and when you'll be able to resume helping them , the economy being what it is. You just don't know if it will ever again be possible. And then stick to your story. If they try to pressure you, play the victim. They'll soon drop out of your life.

Youre a dumbass for taking care of them and letting them treat you like trash. I have no sympathy for you.

Facts

Whats the system?

Years of conditioning since childhood and being manipulated in many ways, it's hard to say no. But he has got to pluck up a courage to say NO!

Filipino culture expects it. They see Americans as wealthy

This is pretty common for Filipinos. I have a friend who sends much of her income to her family and is gracious to do it but I can't imagine it is easy having the weight and expectation to take care of several family members on your plate

Same here, we do send some money monthly, but only a couple hundred because her mom is too old and in too poor health to work, but we won’t support the older siblings other than the occasional gift.

@@codys5727 Your friend is being manipulated, probably by her mother or grandmother. Hopefully she can overcome it and give what she can without compromising her own financial security.

Filipinos are mostly successful here in the U.S and in returned we were able to helped our families back home.

True, It is pure wickedness

SEND MONEY *ONCE* & LET THEM KNOW THAT’S ALL THEY GET. SOMEONE ELSE OUTSIDE OF THE DIRECT FAMILY UNIT IS *NOT* YOUR RESPONSIBILITY

😂

I agree, which is why it's best to be careful who you are marrying. You never know if you could get suckered into paying for a family 5,000 miles away every month. Goes to show that there aren't just leaches in America, they are all over the world.

@@vickieclark5931 Vickie, sadly, you do not understand my comment.

I would be radical and shock them so they could get off their arses faster

Yeah, thought the same thing, definitely sounds like Brazilians.

Listen to more stories and you will see that some families overseas get corrupted because it is easy money for them to spend to brag of their improve lifestyle. The only way to know for sure is to do a surprise visit to see how they live.

$240 isn't $1000. I think that's fine.

yeah you go girl. i want to be this confident one day soon. I'm in the process and i'm feeling more free everyday i learn how to be myself and stand up for myself. my in-laws will make comments about us. passive ones like, we are the rich one with the big house. the offensive one like, we're greedy. they're not the most horrible people and i am grateful for what they've helped us with so far, even though they made sure we pay them back the favor and make sure we knew they felt burden by it. example, my husband and i worked first shift, and i know it's a lot ask them to babysit, so i eventually moved to second shift, but my husband doesn't get home in time, so i would drop the kids off for them to watch 1-2 hours but that was still too much for them. so i said f-it, one of us needs to do overnight and so glad that we did. It was also normal in my culture for the groom's family to pay for the wedding. his family made it hard and so we saved up the cost and paid it ourselves. i'm glad that people told us no because it pushed us to be self-sufficient. we were young so i held onto a grude longer that i needed, but now i respect it. I will always remember we stand in their lives and so i place them where they place us, bottom of my priority unless it's an emergency.

But in the jungle there are no rules!!! In the human world there are rules!!!

Even so, you should not expect family to bail you out even if you're in "need."

@@Coryraisa Completely agreed. Just to clarify, the "should" also places a huge duty on anyone requesting help.

No she only agreed to the MIL embicile not the others

Lol😂 I would say ok then. Zero is so much better!

Until another "issue" arises with your husbands family members, same culture or not!

@@michelemalec7452 There are always issues. But, the same culture generally makes it easier. Of course, there are exceptions like always.

Depends on the person. My wife is Filipina. Love their culture and not too fond of American culture to be fair. To each their own.

Marriage is about compromise. Robust premarital counseling would be wise for any couple, but especially those with significant cultural differences. They should have discussed who and how much they would support before marriage. I'm guessing she agreed to Mom but now Mom want her other babies on the gravy train. Maybe they should write mom a check and she can disperse as she sees fit, not constantly ask for more.

I have known several men and women over the years that married foreigners and it always the same. Once the honeymoon is over all bets are off. All but one divorced within a few years

Take a walk yourself. You like wearing a halo?

Good for you if you can afford it. Given today's economy, most people can't.

Coming from similar culture like the husband's caller, we are expected to support our parents. That's just how it is. I understand because the retirement plan is bad here. Almost nothing, unless you work for the government or big companies. Supoorting sibling is different. They are still young and able body, should've work.

In some countries, people are so poor that they can't save for retirement because they're barely making it for one month to another, year after year. Even in the US, the majority of people are living from one paycheck to another.

Yes 100%

And there it is, the stupidity of Jimmy/Saul shines through. She picked this clown

OR STOP SENDING MONEY ENTIRELY

​@@THEBIGGESTSCUMBAG No. He should help his mother out.

Hello Elizabeth

I don't understand it either. Disgusting.

Hehe possibly. She must be desperate if she needs a husband shipped from South America.

He’s married to her not them. She’s his main priority not them. He has to spend the rest of his life with her and the family they create.

Ooh, aren't you entitled!

There is no love from them if its simply based on money. They didn't have a problem being dirt poor when their son was there, why is it all of a sudden a problem if he stops sending them money?