Fantastic. I waited until I was 28 to come out because of family pressures etc. When I did, that closet door blew open with a bang. And yes, it will be Ok. I am 71 now, celebrating a 41st anniversary with my Husband John. A marvelous adventure!!
Im 50 and still hiding, iv never fitted in in social circles and have low self worth but i met this guy that is gay and he took me to his friend's place, they welcomed me in and i absolutely felt myself and felt like i belonged for the first time in my life, there was no sex just drinks and laughing and smoked weed. Im really considering coming out at 50, hiding this shit has affected me my whole life
I am a teenager as of now, my family believe I’m bisexual and have a preference for girls but over time of thinking, I think I’m gay and just in denial from how worried I may be of how my family would react
This guy helped me in the first 4 minutes of the video and helped me realise that I’m straight. Just wanna say thanks to this guy for helping more than anyone else or anything and to everyone else this video helped, show this guy the respect he deserves. Much love bro
I know I'm bi, but I get into these moments where I'm constantly questioning my sexuality. I'm strongly attracted to men which is why I think I'm gay but I still have feelings for women too. It's just not as much as men.
yeah same. but once i online dated with a person that said they were male, (still hate myself for doing it in the first place) but we hopped on a call and she sounded like a female for sure. she kept hiding it but i just told her eventually. that was also the moment when my feelings for her just totally died out. realizing im gay.
Perfectly normal y'all. Don't stress out about it. Take a look at the Kinsey scale and it may help you understand your sexuality a little better. It's more common than you think. Don't be afraid to explore your feelings and attractions. Not everybody will understand but it's okay. Not everybody thinks the same way. Everybody has different tastes. Some like a little pepper, others want a straight pepper diet. It's nobody's business and if they have an opinion about it, the wiser ones will keep it to themselves.
I have denied my sexuality for years, telling myself, "I'm not gay". At 75, finally admit I'm gay, after two marriages and cheating bc I needed a male. Most times in sex with a woman, my thoughts were of men. Denial as I learn too late, is a waste of life.
Nice video and very encouraging words. It wasn't until my 40's that I finally admitted to myself that I was gay and after spending my entire life in denial it was such a relief. Nearly twenty years later I am still learning how to navigate this self acceptance journey that I have been on, each day brings a little more confidence and self assurance. This video is an affirmation of where I have been and where I am going.
I'm really questioning my sexuality right now. I had sex with a woman a week ago and mid-sex I thought of having sex with a man. It was a brief mental image but it shook me to have had it at all. My family has been asking me if I am gay lately too. Although I've had sex with about 25 women in my life, I still find myself attracted to men. Maybe even more so than women, but I repress it strongly. The journey for me is to derepress it, look at it and see whats really there.
Plenty of people like having sex with lots of different kinds of people! Just because you like having sex with women doesn't mean you wouldn't enjoy having sex with men. And being attracted to men doesn't make you any less attracted to women! Try not to stress too much about labels while you're figuring things out. Sometimes they can be helpful, but they're not necessary if you don't want to use them. Best of luck!
Im confused, in my 21 years i never had a real relationship and by means i prefer not to mention right now, i think maybe im gay, well, more specifically bi, but the gay part is new for me and, well, im kinda afraid and confused because i dont know if its true, if im lying to myself or what, i commited a lot of mistakes throug my life, i dont want fail this one too
This is a wonderful presentation. I'm old now and the generations after me are standing on our shoulders to reach out beyond yourselves to do things we never thought possible. With all the hate and homophobia I've encountered in my life, it would be a lie to say it hasn't changed me forever. But every new generation of queer young adults can push the boundaries of self esteem further and further. How do you know your gay(?), the same way heteros know they're straight.
Im a straight male so im only here to learn and understand better about the human sexual orientation. You my friend did a fantastic job explaining it through your drawings. Thank you for helping me understand better about sexual orientations and how we are wired differently. Love who you love my friend 👍
Thank you so much for your kind words! I'm so glad that my video helped you and I appreciate that you're taking the time to learn about people who are different than you. Hopefully we can all get better at that!
Thank you for making me realize i was a lesbian. The only thing that was holding me back from accepting my true identity was religion specifically christianity and internallized homophobia. I accept this new chapter of my life. Also because i was afraid of how my family would perceive me and how they would judge me.
honestly, this is an awesome and amazing video, your voice, what you say, the comfort you give, all of this video is so great and i wish more people would see it
I wish i found this video when i finally realized i was gay. I previously identified as bi because of some female "crushes" i had in my childhood, but when i started puberty, those feeling went away. I was in 9th grade and was suffering of internalized homophobia, i thought i was broken and everytime i asked myself if i was gay, my brain would be like "You're not gay, remember that random girl when you were random age?" and i just couldn't accept the fact that i was exclusively attracted to my same sex. Now i'm semi-out and proud, but it hurt a lot in that moment. I'm glad a lot of people realized they were gay/lesbian because of this video, keep up the good work 👍
How can you know if you're gay without having crushes or fantasies or relationships or interactions with the same gender. All my life ive had crushes on the opposite gender and a few dreams. But i recently started doubting everything about myself and including my sexuality during a complicated situation with my boyfriend? I don't even know anymore. I noticed that the sexuality thought has been on my mind for at least 3 weeks and idk if i should accept whether im straight, bi, or gay. Like i recently started to feel aroused from the thought of 2 women together but when i see 2 women together in porn i dont know how to feel. Like will i really enjoy that. Would i want more coming from a man? Because even then i would enjoy sex with my boyfriend but lately it has felt forced or harder to get aroused even though i would initiate. Like when i would kiss him i wouldnt feel anything. But i like the way he makes me feel. He makes me feel pretty, comfortable and we joke around and i enjoy our skin to skin cuddles and the way he hugs me when we sleep together. I just dont want to end that.
I am gay and well resolved. But you managed to bring me tears by how kindly you approached the subject. I think everybody deserves such kindness when they are struggling with their inner conflicts. 💖 P.S.: from São Paulo, Brazil.
Sometimes even when a person knows they’re gay they put up shields due to the expectation & pressures of those around them & feeling admitting it will cause others, many of whom a person likes to exclude them. Outside pressures are hard to ignore. Fear of rejection can indeed hamper self acceptance.
I am still confused. My main issue is that I dont know if I like somene as a friend or romanticaly. Currently I think I have a crush on one of my male friends but maybr I just want to be in love and I chose him to be my "crush". When I ask myself if I want to hold hands or kiss him my answer changes depending on my mood. When I first started to take interest in sexuality I looked mainly at men and was not interested in women. I told myself I was doing research by looking at men because I am a man too but looking back I just wanted to look at men lol. But in the past I didnt have any crushes. When I was 11 years old for example no one came to my mind when someone asked what was my crush. This crush I have on a male friend right now could be the first crush I ever had to be honest because I never felt like this before. But I am only 16 years old right now and I have a whole lifetime to figure this out. Note: English is not my native language, sorry if you had trouble understanding.
I'm a straight male and I've been having crushes on women for as long as I can remember. Maybe you are just coming to terms with what gender you're really attracted to and there's nothing wrong with it. Don't try to change it because it's 100% impossible. Just be yourself and NEVER listen to the haters. Take my advice my friend, just wait till you're older like 18 or 21 and try going on a dating site and find those who have the same attraction. Right now just enjoy life because the life you have is your own 🙂
At 44, I'm just now coming to terms with my sexuality. I have NO problem with me being gay, some other people seem to have a problem with me being gay lol.
first i want to give major props to the men, he explained very well and gived good advice. now that out of the way, i want to share the moment i realise i was gay. i grew up in a christian family in mexico, in that country is shameful that a boy of 10 years and up doesn't have a gf, for that reason is pushed upon everyone, in all my years of just dating here and there no girl/woman made me feel anything, in fact i felt dead inside devoid of all emotions and zero attraction but due to religion and social construts i could only do that, after moving to the US i started to avoid dating since i didn't felt the preasure i had before, with time i started to meet new people among them was a guy who was gay and handsome, i had a hard time not losing myself while looking at him, for the first time in my life i felt butterflies in my stomach, always happy when we met for a group hangout but guilty for feeling that way, one day a question came up from one of our friend "how did you found out you like men?" that question froze me, the answer send me in a loop of despair and panic, "i feel exited with another men, unlike being with a women" that was when my world failed on me and started to question every emotion and memory i had, my friends, people i passed on the street, actors i saw in movies, every sensation up until that very moment, i spent a month seperated from the group fighting my self, considering it wrong, all my religous belifs fell on me and crashing any happines i had, one day feed up with it all i wanted to prove if i was or not gay, i called my friend and with a simple question, answer and action found out that indeed i am gay, 16 years wasted pretending i liked women, pretending i wanted to be with one, to marry one, all of the chaged and i have to say, i am trully happy now. find the answer like in the first minutes of the video only you can say if you are not, good luck out there and god is with you all.
you do not have to tell anyone what your sexual preference is when u leave home and live on your own u can date and sleep with who ever u like easier if u move to a gayborhood far from home
Love is love, love is gay, gay is fantastic 🥰 This I believe 🥰 l love the Rainbow Family 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈 Joy and Freedom... The Freedom Flag 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈 W Gay Marriage ❤️ Wonderful!!!🌝🌚🥰
I’m surprised this very well explanation about sexuality and neat visual drawings hasn’t been seen enough. I was thinking about finding sources that help explain this topic and this just so happens to be perfect! I hope more people can see this and understand themselves so there’s less confusion in this world! 💕😊
The fact that I am gay was medically proven during electronic shock therapy. The Dr put me in a locked booth and put a wire ring that measures temperature changes on my private parts and showed me about 1000 pictures of naked men and 1000 pictures of naked women. When my body temperature rose when I saw the men, they delivered high voltages of electricity through other wires that were attached to punish me for being gay. The machine never recorded anything when I saw all those pictures of nude women. There isn't anything anyone can do to influence the outcome of those tests. It was highly abusive. I didn't have to go through all that abuse to know I am gay. But it didn't change me to become straight destroy despite their promises. I now know that the entire medical profession declassified homosexuality as an illness 50 years ago this year (2023). A 51 year marriage to my accepting wife didn't change a thing. She had MS for 26 years and I cared for her all that time. She was not able to stand or walk for the last 15 years. She is no longer with us. I am now finally free to be who I am but I am not looking for a husband. Too old now.
I'm so sorry that that those barbaric things were done to you. I understand why so many live in denial about their sexual orientation rather than face such horrors!
When I saw the thumbnail for this vid my first thought was, "Someone thinks "How do I know I'm gay" can be answered in 10 minutes and some change. Yea, right". I'm going to save and share this video.
What a great video! I am going to need to watch this again. I feel like I am having a conversation with a really trustworthy, wise and emotionally intelligent friend.
I’ve been having super weird thoughts ever since I tried pychodelics for the first time. I’m looking at this video and I couldn’t stop thinking of the girl I’m trying to take serious. It’s not necessarily a desire but more of a curiosity of what’s on the other side. Seeing this video allowed me to see I really do love her, yet, I’m never able to settle down. I’m currently struggling with porn addiction and I get bored very easily and want to go onto the next if that makes any sense. I’m questioning not just my sexuality but literally everything that makes me happy. I really do feel like I’m losing my mind. Nothing matters but the line.
I really don’t know my sexuality, but after this video I’ve thought and came to the conclusion gay, bi, straight, or whatever, the thought of marrying a guy doesn’t sound that nice to me. But dating a guy when I’m younger does sound like something that suits me. Would this still make me gay or not?
Your sexual orientation is a neuropsychiatric and individual subject. A man marries a biological woman to reproduce his/her offspring that's why you and I are today. A gay marriage sounds futile to you because it doesnot have the capacity to reproduce the offspring due to lack of female reproductive organs. Gay marriage can give you orgasmic pleasure and support but unable to make your own genetic extension. Adoption is a different thing here, for that too you need a straight couple to reproduce. Good luck .
Thanks sm for this vid, it really helped me reflect on not just who I like or not but how I like certain individuals. Just stressed out to tell people because I'm worried people will treat me a little differently, for instance in team sports...Plus, It's so hard to find people my type in a school full of either really straight people or really gay/les people. Don't know what to do, should I not tell people so I might have more chances or tell people so I can date who I really like, but at the risk of frequent rejection or not having as many options? :(
You should be honest with yourself. If you feel a specific way that is totally normal and you should express that. If you hide behind a fake version of who you are you will never be truly happy! Yeah, you might not have as many options if you express who you truly are but those options that you do have are going to be more meaningful and special. Do you want to date people that you truly love and care about? or do you want to date someone who will never see the truth about who you really are because you are afraid that they won’t accept you? If you want to be happy you have to be honest with yourself. You shouldn’t feel like you have to hide who you are just because you think nobody will care. It’s better to find someone who you truly care about and who truly cares about you than find someone who is only seeing the fake parts of you. There’s always someone out there who fits. But you won’t find them if you don’t show your true self and your true identity. You said it yourself “tell people so I can date who I really like” If you truly want to find the right person then you need to show who you really are and what you really want. Yea, you might get heartbroken or rejected more often but would you rather have a fake relationship with someone you don’t truly love or care about just because it was “easier”? or do you want to push through the rejection and challenge to find the person that you truly connect with and want to spend your life with? In the end you should listen to what you’re heart desires and accept that if you want to find true happiness you will first have to fight through the pain of rejection, but eventually you will find that one person that is right for you…the true you and not the one that you want others to see.
I can relate to it cause I only realized that I am gay Cause I had lost interest in girls during the pandemic lockdown in 2020 it gave me time to think about my life and my sexuality, after some time I realized that I am more emotionally romantically and sexually attracted to guys cause I feel more comfortable round them than I do towards girls cause I consider girls to be like my sisters and friends.... even though most people won't accept my sexuality..... I am happy and proud of myself for who I am 🥰❤️💯🏳️🌈
Growing up was just a normal guy, I even liked this one girl, but as I got older things changed, I had feelings for guys. So yes you can know that your gay.
i don’t want this comment to get a lot of traction but i’m honestly confused i’ve been having lots of gay thoughts (and also my friends constantly saying that they think i’m gay), yet i like women i recently had a dream - sorta gay dream that i’ve been thinking about all day and i have butterflies whenever i think about it - it wasn’t about anyone rly.. all i know was it was a dom man - but i want a biological family, no adoptions or anything idk what to think or do
It sounds like you might be bi or pan (attracted to more than one gender), and that's totally ok! You can't force attraction, so I wouldn't worry about it too much. Just let the feelings come and go as they do. If you do end up in a long term relationship with someone who can't get pregnant though, I hope that you can learn to see that adopting is ok too. The only thing a family needs to make it "real" or "valid" is a whole lotta love 🥰
It's videos like this one that remind me that the world is not that bad and there are good people in it. I love how you talk about how you are the only one who can tell if your are gay or not it took me so long to admit it to myself I was always under the fear of "I can't be gay that's weird!" and I was like that till one day I just broke and said... What if it's okay to be weird? What if it's okay and not werid and just weird to me. I started talking to other gay people and opened up that possibility and bam I just accepted it. It's okay to be gay and it's no more weird than being straight or any other attraction it's just you. And that's okay.
Thank you so much! There are definitely good people in the world, and I'm glad that you were able to find people who help you be yourself. It's ok to be gay!!!
3:04... Your not wrong about erections being caused by many things and Steven hawking could still get erect even though his nervous system had broken down... It's part of a hormonal network which can be influenced by even smell! I would say consider what state of mind you are in as well especially prior to erection, (if you can remember). If your mind was in a state of arousel (opposite to boredom) or if your finding hard to remember what you were thinking then whatever sex is before you is your oriented sex... You should use more than one sensor
I don't want to married a woman I want to married a man because I know but I m gay I know that because I used to have feeling for women but now I don't have feeling for women anymore now I have feeling for man
2:17... Sorry your no longer talking about orientation but self defined genders... Would appreciate more accurate terminology, but he ho... I'm listen and I will try interpret what you mean
I'm so sorry to hear that. You don't have to tell anyone until you're ready, and that includes when you're in a safe place to tell them. That time may or may not come for your parents, but I hope you at least have a trusted friend that you feel safe telling.
Hi I'm Jay I'm 15 I had a whole wondering thought on if I'm gay or not I had this whole feeling that I was gay and told myself that, dated guys, rejected by guys, and just thinking about prom on if I want to take a boy or a girl I barley have confidence in myself and I need some kind of help I would like to talk to someone who knows what they are who's in there 20s or 30s who's not afraid of being who you are in the world
How about a situation where I'm unsure because I can't navigate the mixture of feelings I've been having? Btw, I absolutely love this video! Well done! About 6 months ago, I had a man flirt with me in a way that no one ever has done before. He's is co-owner with his wife of a local bar and grille. They openly enjoy into the, "cuckold" thing in their marriage. I don't know for certain if he's bisexual but I strongly believe he is. His flirtations have been pretty brazen and its pushed buttons inside of me that I never knew I had. I have been bisexual for the past 9 years but never really thought of myself as having any specific lean in either direction. I did figure that if I ever moved in with someone or married again, it would be with a woman. Whenever I was with a man, I was always in the more dominate role. In the past couple of years I have found myself becoming more open to the idea of maybe living with a man and a woman at the same time. Even thinking I'd probably be perfectly happy if it was, instead, just with a man alone. I have military PTSD and it obviously affects my dating life. And the whole of my entire life as well...obviously. I've been struggling with it pretty bad in the past couple years but am receiving treatment at the VA. Also, I'd stopped dating women altogether for the last 3 years and have only gone on a couple dates with a man. Can I tell you that dating sucks?! At this point, I was already questioning myself as to whether or not I am still bisexual or if maybe I am becoming gay. I have no fear about being fluid and embracing change, I just never really thought I would ever go to one extreme or the other. All this tells me that I still have a desire floating around somewhere in the back of my mind. That I do want a significant relationship but then the PTSD feelings and thoughts mix in. The bar owner and I have not gotten beyond flirting, so far. About 2 weeks ago, I learned that he left his wife for a younger employee. I'd had no idea anything like that was happening in his life. Even so, it's possible he might go back to his wife as she's made it clear to everyone that she'll take him back. I'm quite certain that until his life settles a bit, I'm not wanting to jump into that kind of mess....says the reasonable side of my brain. However, when I ask myself what I'd do if he made a move, I realize the answer is, yes!! I would jump at the chance to be his and to be in his life. And now let's add this...I want him to be in the more dominate role! I want to be submissive to him! And why is this?? I'm in love with him. Surprisingly, shockingly incredible even, as it sounds, I've not had even 1 sexual fantasy play out in my mind about him. OBVIOUSLY I want that so badly my brain feels like it'll explode but I just can't seem to go there in my minds eye, like I normally would. Whenever I'm around him, I actually get weak in the knees. My brain hits emergency stop and my mouth goes dry, my palms get soaked and I shake all over. I totally lose my mind and I can't help it!! Is this how love works?? I've NEVER been in love with anyone before. I feel so lost and confused by these new feelings. I thought I loved my ex-wife but, looking back? I've been single 13 years now after a 22 year marriage and can finally see that I only married her because her parents and my parents had put us together. I believe she and I both felt obligated to get married, more than anything else. I grew up in an extremely abusive home. Then what happened to me in the military. 15 years ago, getting a back injury that was supposed to leave me bed ridden for the rest of my life. Then, 2 years later the ex-wife and her mother coming to me and telling me that if I could not work to support my family that I was not a man. So they took the kids and left me. 2 years later, my back miraculously got better. Not kidding here. I rolled on my back one night and all 4 herniated discs popped back into place at the same time. Slowly, I got back on my feet and started working again. Then, the ex-wife wanted to talk about dating again. I said, "And if I got crippled in a car accident tomorrow? Ummm, no". When I look back at my life, I do not believe I can point to any one person and say that I ever experienced love of any kind, from anyone. And one evening, about 6 months ago, a man flirted with me and has caused me to experience feelings I never knew I could! Now, when I talk to others and attraction gets sparked, I find myself stopping dead in my tracks because I suddenly get hit with an overwhelming sensation that I am cheating on my man! Ugh!! I can honestly say that in the last 6 months I've been UNABLE to date anybody because of those feelings. Which makes no sense! Am I kidding me here!? Come on brain, why are you working AGAINST me? There is NO relationship and might never be one. So, with all that background, here's my question. Am I possibly going, "gay" so to speak, because I'm in love or could it be I'm desperately wanting someone to save me. Save me from the darker feelings and thoughts my past always throws at me? To save me from being alone and unwanted? From learning all those darker thoughts were...right? How can I trust whatever actions I take if I don't understand the feelings beneath them? For the first time in my life, I begin to understand how a womens feelings can be so powerful as to cause her to stick with a toxic partner. They can see and understand everything just fine but their feelings won't let them go. When I reflect, I realize that I'll go with him at the drop of a hat, almost as if I'm being controlled. I can't stop thinking about him and wishing for things that are totally unreasonable. Feels like I have a 15-year-old girl in the back of my head who just won't shut up! Lol I still find women attractive and even sexually attractive but as of late, I WAS thinking only about men but now I only think of this one man.
My problem is that I don’t have any physical reaction to anyone and I barely feel love towards people I know I should love. Ex: my mom and dad, and my best friends. I’ve never had a crush and I’ve never looked at any gender and said “he/she’s/they’re cute”. Literally never. I’ve faked having crushes on the people that I knew it was normal to have crushes on. (Ex: men that my friends commented on) But nobody that I personally find attractive. It makes this so much harder and has me questioning my entire existence. I don’t resonate with straight or gay people, I don’t resonate with ace or aro people, nor queer or trans people, bi? Nope. Pan? Nope. Nothing on any sexuality spectrum at all. It’s so frustrating. I can’t tell when I’m faking anything. I only have crushes when I think about my sexuality, if that makes any sense. And they only last a couple minutes with me just saying “oh they’re cute to look at” and then forgetting about them. I truly can’t tell anything. I want to love someone, to hold them, and laugh with them. To kiss them and enjoy each other’s bodies. But I don’t know how and I’m scared that I will never truly be attracted to my partner in the future. I just want a clear answer.
@@MelMarie23 What part of being aro/ace don’t you relate to? Your experience sounds like it lines up with those to me, but it also sounds like there could potentially be an underlying issue here that you should talk to a therapist about.
@@ItTakesCourage I want to hook up with someone and kiss someone and love someone so so so much. And I have had like one crush but I only liked to look at them and I didn’t get any physical reaction to it like butterflies or blushing.
hey can anyone help? im a girl and women turn me on but i can’t exactly see myself with a girl. I like men and ive had many boyfriends but both genders turn me on? But im not attracted to girls the same boys because i havent crushed on a girl or really felt cute emotions towards a girl like i have with boys. It always has to be sexual with girls? But then if i really think I can imagine being like that with a girl but i havent had the chance to be romantically attracted to girls Does anyone have the same experience or can help?
what a moving video. I have now realised that I am a straight up lesbian, and I am so so so proud of myself. I love myself entirely. and all my women friends. not my man friends. they're gross. but the women..... yep xoxoxoxoxo
