How Hollywood Has Made You Dumber - The Cracked Podcast 

"Ten percent is your thinky parts and the rest is like packing peanuts". Goddamn, I love you Michael.

kudos to whichever of you went through and edited in all these movie clips, they were great

The study says that before we trained professional soldiers, the number of soldiers actively trying to kill the enemy was about 10%. A recent study also found that 10% of people have psychopathic or sociopathic tendencies. Wonder if there is any correlation between them.

10:00 In the TNG episode, Relics, Scotty tells Geordi to never give the captain an accurate time. Always double your estimate so you look like a genius when you get it done in half as much time.

Stroker & Hoop did a good scene on the knocking out trope, where they beat the guy a few times till he volunteers to pretend to be knocked out so they won't give him brain damage.

This is the video that made me realize youtube needs a favorite button... where you only get one per month or something. I would give this month's favorite to this video.

There should be an action movie in which the hacker demands the action hero kills all the bad guys using half the ammunition they otherwise would have.

"Beards come from sadness."

I always figured that Vin could drive off the cliff and survive because he knew he was in a movie. Like, his character knows that he is the hero of an action movie, and thus can't die, so he's like "trust me" and drives off because he knows he won't die.

How the bloody hell does Dan have eidetic memory of which season and episode title (though it was episode 20 not 5, but still) of Scrubs where Doctor Cox grows a beard? That's mind blowing! He hadn't prepped it, that was based of off a random comment pulled from the audience and he recalled a bit from an episode that aired 10 years ago . Daniel, you, sir, are a god among mortals!

My favorite version of the last trope is in Futurama where Bender gets a rust beard when he's sober for too long

Firefly got that people don't immediately die of stomach wounds.

I love how at 1:02 Jack calls Cody Big Dragon and Michael leans over to Dan like, “Ey that’s your nickname, man. Not his” And Dan is like, “I know! I know!” And Soren looks over at him and smiles knowing he co-signed the nickname thievery.

The amount of talent on this stage is incredible. Just staggering! And we didn't realize just how lucky we were to have them all together.

It's funny they use that clip from Princess Bride when they're talking about knocking people out because Carey Elwes actually got knocked out in that scene.

The trope that drives me crazy, that almost got touched upon with the Die Hard 2 discussion, is the one where cops from different departments instantly distrust one another when forced to work together. The FBI is called in for a murder and the local cops are asked to cooperate with the feds, and the local police just scowl and berate the feds, while the FBI always hates working with the backwater yokels.

The 'how much time will it take' then 'you get 1/4th of it' is something they put in movies so that managers at companies that do software can feel a little bit like action movie stars. I worked at a place up until a couple years ago where there was a gigantic new system being rolled out (literally a >$1 billion system with hundreds of separate applications). They asked the guy who ran the testing team how much time they would need to test this whole system once it was done. The guy went back to previous system rollouts, evaluated how much time testing took in those cases, projected out the scheduling of staff, went into intimate detail of why it would take a full year running full-tilt, overtime around the clock for everybody, etc. They told him they had 4 months. He said 'thats not enough time, we literally will not be able to even look at some parts of the system' and management said '4 months.' When someone with a business degree has pulled a number out of their ass and feels that something "must" be done by a certain time, no amount of reality can slow them down. And yes, that system was, and still is, a catastrophic disaster. But he checked a box. And he felt like an action hero while doing it.

The funny thing about those depression beards is that they're always neatly groomed, trimmed below the neck, and even shaped around the mouth; all things that requires MORE attention to personal grooming than just shaving your face. It's like their grieving process makes them even more fastidious than before.

BTW, the gun "hilt" is called the "grip."

oh fuck yeah over an hour of content? yes please. missing Daniel o brien tho! but at least I get Dwain!

Love listening to the podcast, glad to see you uploading live ones too

Actually, the Sherlock Holmes novels and short stories just sort of make up his abilities as the story calls for it. He's introduced as a cocaine-snorting, violin-playing weirdo who runs around in costumes and disguises. Which isn't too far fetched, as I'm sure quite a few famous musicians could identify. He's also initially given a penchant for languages, observation, and chemistry. But then we find out about his other attributes as the series goes on, and it's convenient. I'm saying the show doesn't stray too far from the source material.

Inigo Montoyo was even cooler in the book. The backstory was that he spent years trying to work out a dramatic monologue for when he found the killer, and by the time he found him, he had whittled it down to the three sentences.

Sometimes when Soren laughs it looks like a pained soul is trying to escape through his face a la Constantine.

In the 1980's for a little while there was the car chase trope where the car had to get through a narrow gap and all the people in the car lean to the driver's side, the driver hits some sort of ramp, and the car drives on the two driver's side wheels for a while before landing back on all four wheels and the chase continues. But then that trope totally vanished by the end of the 1980s.

1:06 Dan and Swaim having a moment

Loved this Cracked! Give us more of these longer podcasts!

Because of the way he acts, it always surprises me how intelligent and insightful Swaim can be.

House being good at piano makes complete sense as a way to keep finger dexterity to perform surgery well

Just want to mention that possibly the reason typical English geniuses play classical instruments so much in fiction is... most of these dudes went to private schools. In English private schools, it's very very common to be encouraged (especially if you're smart) to pick up a violin or start playing the piano, and then be forced to continue through your whole school, and it was almost definitely be predominantly classical/orchestral music that you learn. I mean state schools have music programs too, but posh schools will really push it. The connotation is that these geniuses grew up rich.

One car chase trope is the whole hanging on to the top of a car as it swerves thing. Like, they would 100% fall off.

This is my absolute favorite panel of people ever. Only you guys from now on.

I listened to this when it came out as just the audio podcast but I love that I get to watch the live show with referenced material spliced in. super cool.

I hate listening to the podcast, that's the only Cracked content I don't devour (what the hell am I supposed to do with my eyes while listening? it's not exactly background muzak, I have to concentrate on the fast-paced speech) and am glad as hell that you're uploading a video as well.

This was Amazing! I could happily listen to another 2 hours of them talking about pretty much anything. More Please!

I've actually enjoyed these podcasts that have been uploaded! Usually can't sit through an hour of such things but was pleasantly surprised.

I am hooked on Cracked now because of these clips :) Thank you.

I'd like to know the Black Magic spell that allowed you to leech all colour from the audience to augment your own. I need to use that one some time.

In that episode of scrubs, I think the patients all get rabies because a young woman dies and they're like, "Oh, handy spare organs. Let's give these untested, unmatched organs to these sick people in the next room." Because in movies/TV the organ donation registry is basically just being closest to the donor when they die?

This was the best hour of my day so far. What a great surprise. You guys are awesome!

When it comes to cocking a gun in movies, it does make sense for certain types. Not magazine loaded ones, of course, because the magazine will slip a bullet into the chamber, meaning you don't have to cycle one in, thus the title semi or full automatic. Older revolver action pistols, anything bolt action, and all pump action firearms require cycling a bullet into the chamber, or cocking the hammer. One thing a lot of movies get wrong is using the term clip interchangeably with magazine. A clip holds ammunition so it's easier to load into a magazine.

Love it! I'm a huge fan of the podcast and I think it would be great if you posted more of these

I love how at 30:45 Jack raises his mic to correct Michael on his "Stormtroopers are Clones" comment, but is like, "Nah."

Y'all nerds are great. Thanks for the entertainment :)

I vaguely remember an episode of Star Trek where Scotty explains that the time he tells the captain he needs is a gross over estimate so he always comes out looking like a genius when he gets the job done early. The great thing about that is it makes you think about how much tension in some episodes just comes from quotes from engineering and non-diegetic sound.

I love when Daniel randomly just stops trying to disguise his contempt for Jack.

Rare instance of breaking a troupe (the one about beards coming from sadness) is season 2 of Star Trek: TNG where Riker grew a beard between seasons to make his character, seemingly, more manly.

Thanks for this guy's. I always forget to go to podcasts and listen to them. :)

So has anyone else noticed that the "kids" movies are getting more complex and nuanced while the "Grown up" movies are getting more dubbed down and simple?

An important corollary to the knockout thing is that there is no safe or effective knockout gas or something you can inject into someone to render them unconscious. Anesthesiology is a very tricky and sophisticated process which can easily kill you if you are not carefully monitored.

"You truly are the fastest and most furious" had me pause the video because I almost passed out laughing

Omygosh I didn't even realise I've been watching this for like more than an hour~ keep up with the good work guys ^^

Dan holds his microphone like a rockstar. It's either the two finger hold of the reverse back of the hand hold.

The shifting before moving thing is something you do with a stick shift when you're being lazy. I do it all the time. I don't want to be holding the clutch pedal all the time, so I'll leave the car in neutral whenever I'm coasting or stopped at a light. Naturally whenever I'm stopped at a light in neutral, I have to hit the clutch and put the car in first before I can move. I think the movies are taking advantage of us in that trope because most people (at least most people I know) don't know how to drive a stick shift anymore, so the movies can make them operate on magic.

Also on guns: Filmmakers persistently tell us that firearms make a noise when you aim them at people. We get how they need both a visual and audio cue to the audience, but firearms of course make no noise, no matter how many of them are involved, when you lift them to aim at someone.

I love the point on the KO. I've been KO'd and it was very unpleasant. After I woke up I was paranoid over the brain damage. My mother was freaking out once she found out what happen. I was fine but I did have mild memory loss over my time tables. I had to repeat them over and over for three days to get them back in memory. I still have a slight dent in my skull where I was hit. It's amusing to see the look on the technician's face whenever I had my head scan, they see the old injury and they are always giving the look of what the f'k happen.

I had no idea podcasts were this entertaining. ALL THESE YEARS WASTED! IT'S LIKE DR. WHO ALL OVER AGAIN!

AWESOME! 😄😄😂😂 Thank you for the laughs!!!👊👏👏

Regarding hackers - one of my major pet peeves (and NCIS is the worst for this) is that whenever someone asks the supposed computer expert to do something (e.g.: zoom in on the image), the supposed expert goes tap tap tappity tap on their keyboard, and magic stuff happens on the screen. Do these people live in a universe where the mouse wasn't invented? You don't need 100 keyboard taps to zoom in on an image - it's point-and-click. You also don't need to be an expert.

56:00 refusing to assist a police officer, or fireman is actually a misdermeanor with up to a $2000 fine, but commandeering of vehicles is rare because cops are always in contact with other cops in the area.

"[...] these blast points, too accurate for sand people. Only imperial storm troopers are so precise." - Obi-wan Kenobi

This was really good guys, keep it up @Cracked

Some of my high school friends and I would do the super aggressive greeting thing. Especially if we saw one of us with a person we didn't know. We'd come up on them shouting, pointing and pushing. Then turn to the new guy and shout something like, "are you involved in this?!" After a few seconds of wide-eyed terror we'd let the new guy off the hook and everyone would get a good laugh out of it.

Don't forget the bit in Star Trek III: Scotty: Four weeks sir, but you don't have four weeks, so I'll do it for you in two. Kirk: Do you always multiply your repair estimates by a factor of four? Scotty: Of course sir. How else can I maintain my reputation as a miracle worker?

More of this, please! Great show!

Nice, I love the podcast. Hope Cracked uploads more

literally all of my favorite cracked ppl.

6:59 Schmidty the clam in the front row!

Leave him alone! It is called a hilt! And "Diagnostician" was correct too. You guys are unnecessarily mean.

I always suspected that Lando started off overly hostile, hoping Han might step right back into the ship and take off. He already knew his old friend was walking into a trap that he couldn't warn him about. Possibly a long shot, but in Lando's shoes that might be something I'd try. If it worked and Han took off, Lando wouldn't necessarily be held responsible by the Empire because no one would know what the heck happened.

Didn't think I would watch the whole thing, but suprised myself. Really funny guys! And too many good commentaries. Onwards to the movies that are totally realistic and correct..!

They missed the bit where punches ALWAYS make the "PSH!" sound. It even happened with the two kids in Braveheart. When was the last time you heard a punch sound like that? At best you might get a dull "thap." or something but for the most part, they are really silentish.

Actually a strike to the side of the neck (The fleshy bit, not the spine or throat) will genuinely knock people unconscious, it disrupts the blood flow and nerves briefly, and you're out for a few seconds, and disorients you after that. Source: Martial arts and it's happened to me.

What about the "random choreography dance" trope, where random people who probably never met (or at least choreographed a dance) somehow do a perfect dance together with no mess ups at all (I'll give a pass to 13 going on 30 since they used a popular dance a lot of people might know)

The best trope is the premature bad guy defeat but twist they aren't dead

This is my dream lineup here. Now I realize it's glaringly lacking any female representation, but I'm sorry. These are just the top level people at Cracked all side by side. Yes, both Katies are amazing, and Alex (spotted in the audience at 6:59) is finding his way, but for now, this is the cream of the crop. This needs to always be the podcast. And in terms of Cracked writers, Bowie will wreck them all!!! All of them!!! (Except for David Wong [Jason Pargin], who is my hero. But he isn't here.)

My bugbear is the overused 'we are not so different, you and I' speech.

Please do more of these with movie clips! These are awesome!

The point that Michael Swain brings up at 31:00 is covered very well in Dave Grossman's book "On Killing". Its a good read and I'd highly recommend it for anyone interested in the psychology of warfare and taking a life.

That Fast and Furious game of chicken was like saying, 'bye' to someone and continuing to walk in the same direction.. . which is what I assume the screen writer was going for. Genius

Whenever I use someone else's driveway to turn around when I am lost in an unfamiliar place, I always shout "Company!!!!"

Haha I loved this! Thanks guys! :)

Watched Lucy with mouth and eyes wide, and eyebrows knit... one finger pointed at the screen while I frantically looked around the room. I thought nothing for 2 hours except, "That's not how this works! That's not how any of this works." If everything that our brain does unconsciously became conscious it wouldn't mean that we gain control over the physical world around us. - Psych Masters

cracked podcast... I don't object to this

i wasn't going to watch it all. then an hour past and i had watched it all. damn you cracked! got me again!

Will this be in the podcasts as well? Cheers, love these!

I love that "the new guy" is chillin in the front row.

The very first clip of the Terminator2. Hamilton gets out of car, guy points gun at her, Arnie recognizes a threat to Sarah Conors, eliminates the threat by blowing away her friend with shotgun. End of reunion.

You guys are truly at your best when ther is just making fun of movies and no politics. Great video.

I wasn't expecting to sit through the whole hour, but this was really engaging. Then one of you said there's like ten minutes left and it surprised me.

In San Andreas the daughter is underwater for about 5 minutes and they bring her back with no residual effects....she would be brain dead

"Gunkata...have a little respect for the art"😂😂😂😂

great episode watched all of it really enjoyed it

I saw the runtime and thought "maybe I'll just watch for a few minutes." I watched the whole thing without realizing more than 5 minutes had passed. Well done, gentlemen (/gentlewomen?)

Loved the podcast. Loved it when I heard it the first time weeks ago.

sitting here on a day off... I can't think of any movies or TV to DL and watch. I'm just 20mins into this vid now and I've got 2 queued up now :) I like how 'The Cracked' peeps can make a movie I've previously purposely overlooked seem interesting again

Definitely one of the best podcasts

This was alot of fun to watch. :o)

23:40 "Whoa whoa whoa, wait! Cachuates? Cachuates?! It's lupus."

This was great. More please