How I Knew I was Trans: a Guide 

I just realized I’ve been subbed to you for over 3 years. Phew, time flies when you’re in a constant existential crisis.

It's crazy how I've followed you for a few years and you always manage to upload videos talking about subject right when I need to hear them most (love the haircut btw!!)

Okay hair! Serving me flapper androgyne teas.

I love how you choose how to express what you feel, you look happier, the hair cut you have suits you a lot.

Damn, what you said about honesty being tied to safety is so true for me. I’m not out to most people (usually strangers) because I don’t feel safe. There’s also the added factor of having to explain what it means to be non-binary to people who don’t know what it means and I just don’t have time for it. So I just put up with being misgendered constantly.

Hey, I think I just wanted to tell that you’re really an incredible person. Not everyone would be able to be brave enough to push the boundaries like that and finally go away from the comfort zone. Your videos are so sincere, and you’re so charming that it just feels unbelievably comfortable to sit here, in front of the screen, and know that on the other side of it you’ll definitely be able to find a support. It feels so right. So, thank you for everything you’re doing. (Oh, and, by the way, I definitely love the new haircut!)

I did not realize I was trans until I was 21 years old. In high school I spent more time concerned about hiding my bi-ness in a queer phobic community than I did thinking about gender. My dysphoria was often conflated with my fatness so I didn't really consider it otherwise. But I remember realizing I was trans, quite by accident. But to figure out what my gender was? I took the starting point of making a list of what--besides my physical bits--made me feel connected to my gender--and other genders. I think everyone should ask themselves that, cis or trans. It took me ages to come to a decent decision of "Idk but it's not binary". I was 21 when I realized I was trans. I think I was 23 or so when I realized I needed to transition. So it can take time to answer the questions you need to answer! But even if a cis person has enough evidence to make up their mind in the duration of a morning shower (rather than the ages it took me), they'll still move forward confident in their identity, and maybe more open to things outside their gender*, because they feel that much more secure. *(cis men more comfortable with crying, cis women asking why they really need to wear heels to work every day, etc)

I swear your videos are the best like I don't even know how to articulate myself but you are just the best and I hope I met people like you in my future

I'm 27 (Sept 6th 91), just one month on T and out for 2,5 years as a transman. Everyone is on their own pace.. Just keep searching..

I really enjoyed this. A very articulate passage about how to give yourself space to question. This resonated with me because the idea about safety to realise how you experience the world is so very true.

On another note, I found a lot of solace watching this video - so many of the things you said resonated with me (possibly because i'm also trans?). In particular, the realisation that often times the things that are best for us and that we want the most are in fact the scariest. As someone who has dealt with anxiety their whole life, to this obstacle my response is just to feel the fear and do the thing anyways, because it's a million times better on the other side.

Thank you so much for this video.

I think I've been watching for...five years? Thank you so much for this, it's so true that a lot of us have grown and changed in what seems like so little time. And yeah...the questions you need to ask yourself are questions nobody can ask for you. Very well put. Also your hair is cute af here.

Holy spagetti, fear and dissociating myself from things that feel good and _me,_ sound so familiar! I started questioning late, because of I was actively avoiding every question of who I am as a teen (when you're supposed to discover these things). I was just no-one who acted like the most stereotypical teen of my AAB gender (just to play it safe), had zero expression but just wore whatever my mum bought to me and had hobbies that weren't "too strange". *I just literally tried not to exist almost my whole life.* It feels so weird to actually have use for mirrors, do stuff you actually care about and express yourself without checking out every time if your behavior is "normal". In reality I'm still very much in the closet though, maybe even to myself.

I can't believe how far you've come. I remember finding your channel a couple years ago because you were talking about your bisexuality and that was an important topic for me in that time. And now, to see where you've gone just makes me so incredibly happy! I barely wach your videos anymore, just for time reasons, but I still smile every time I see you tweeting about one or getting recommended on youtube. I'm so proud. And tbh, now that I'm struggling with my gender identity myself, seeing your journey is incredibly inspiring. And it also shows that it's ok to take my time with this. I don't need to freak out and have my gender figured out asap. I don't even believe I ever will fully understand my own gender. It just seems to be everchanging. And that's ok. It's who I am and I like it. So, yeah, I don't know where I was going with this. Just... thank you for being out there, sharing your story and experiences and for being an inspiration. I absolutely love it and I am so proud. Also, you're gorgeous

Honestly, kids are always harsh. I'm sorry that you went through that,but I'm glad you were able to see the bright side of it all. I hope that they grow up to understand empathy and what it means to understand that all the people that we encounter in our lives are people and deserve to be treated as such. Hopefully everyone does... I know I still have some goofy biases. Let's all learn to accept each other and ourselves together. 😊

thank you for making me feel seen

Thank you for being you, and for encouraging us to be ourselves. Trying to navigate social and medical transition as nonbinary in a very binary world can be super disheartening. You give me hope. 💕

Somehow I had I suspicion this announcement was coming. Good for you for admitting to yourself what you truly are and announcing it the world! Your old videos helped saved my life when I was at a particularly dark place in early 2016, for which I’m eternally grateful! I look forward to hearing what is next in your life journey!

It just hit me how long I've been watching your content. Before I graduated high school which was... almost 3 years ago now. Wow. Always will love your content ❤️

What you said starting at 3:00 REALLY resonated with me. Amazing video, I really needed this.

Your hair!!! 😍❤️

Godh, you re just so beautiful a person. I would say youre a super philosopher and I love seeing the philosophical mind. Navigating life. I mean thank you also for widening the topic too and making it about being your true self in a safe space, even if it's an artistic calling. I'm my true self when i forget what gender I am and just throw myself into art and stories, that's where I am me, when there is no longer a me. Which i guess is pretty weird...

OH man, VidCon 2013.. I was a socially anxious insecure mess and I was struggling so much more than I even realized. You were the only person I could work up the nerve to talk to, and you were nice to me. Thank you. We've certainly both grown and changed a lot since then, clearly for the better, and both have a ways to go too. I've come to love myself a million times more than I did then but I am still really trying. It's nice that you've come to love yourself more for who you are as well 💗

Baby, thank you for your videos. I'm 25 and still figuring out who I am. You are really helping people. I remember in 2014 when I was in a deep depression, you were there telling me that I had to keep fighting. You encouraged me to get out of that dorm room and get help. Thanks for that.

HAIRCUT LOOKS GOOD!!

i love this. i didnt know i needed to hear this. above all, i love the person you have been and are becoming. thank you for being your unapologetic self and providing inspiration and comfort to us

You are so insightful, but yet so relatable and kind like its awe inspiring.😆

This was PRECISELY the video I needed to see today. Thank you so much! 💖

Been watching you for years and it has been awesome to see you grow! So proud of you. 💜

Asking yourself to be open to the world and honest about your experiences, at least to yourself, these are good questions. But sometimes the answers take us on merry dances. Overthinking being honest. I fear that could work both ways, but for me now I ask myself why I am thinking about this and accepting my answers are fluid and asking myself where I am now like it doesn't matter that much. And being reasonably safe where I am right now, and in myself, that's fine. Because the merry dance trying to being open and honest with myself as a teenager was to decide I wasn't trans enough and I wasn't gay enough to count myself that way, that it would be an insult to the community and silly risk to myself to do so. It made sense at the time but there was a lot of external pressure and erasures going on in that. Non-binary and bisexual visibility has been really really important for me. Because the idea it was just a silly bubble or as my mum said confusing my politics with my sexuality was too credible to dismiss outright. But it was also unfair and toxic. But life is a journey. Now I worry I'm a victim of confirmation bias with social factors giving me a carrot and stick inexorablility. Then I couldn't be bisexual or trans, the reasons I was thinking that way and paying such attention to it was just to make sure I wasn't unfairly over-identifying whilst trying to be open and also process gender and sociability and sexuality for myself. It's the same schtick. Why am I asking it? Scruples and because of a need for processing those things and because gender critical theory or religious fundamentalism wasn't satisfying my inner truth. Cogito ergo sum!? Also I think I was repressed and had internalised bierasure and my sexual orientation and fancying boys in more obviously physical reactions was just overwhelming and being used to invalidate everything else because it could. For reasons that I said. I regularly ask myself where I am now. And take variations in the answer in light of the long view.

I always felt like we were partners in a gender journey because I started exploring my gender and expression around the same time and it always mattered to me. It felt like I wasn't completely alone. I hope that isn't weird, but it's one of the reasons I've always appreciated you deeply 💜

I'm 26 years old and it's only 2 months ago that I was able to finally embrace my sexuality. Not sure though if I'm bisexual or pansexual, still trying to figure it out. I guess you just really have to asses yourself and be honest about it. It's frustrating to keep it all in and now I find it liberating! I can finally talk about my interests with boys, girls and gays with the people around me.

I appreciate you. I support you. I accept you. Always

Thank you for this video. For reminding me of the beauty in the world, and for explaining this in a way that everyone can understand.

I am A New Subscriber... You have Inspired me to Get out of My Current Situation and Get My Own Place... I am a Closet Witch Living in a Stanch Catholic Controlling Family. They are onto me and I am now getting to hear about "Evils that rome the world .. seeking the destruction of souls"... I guess I am in that pot now. Lol!! I am so out of here!! Thank You for Your Inspiration and Wise Words. Embrace Who You Are!! Because You Are Awesome!!

I really appreciate your videos! Feedback: Intro music is generally a bit loud. I'm a little sensitive so when I open one of your videos right after something else I tend to react to it. Maybe look into that :)

Yoooo your haircut is so cute! Hope you feel better soon. Tis the season for sickyness unfortunately

I just watched a video of yours from 4 years ago, about you knowing you were bisexual, and the myths behind that particular sexual orientation. And I look at your recent videos and you made a video on how you knew you were trans?.. Well, all is good, I have no hate for you, but I do thank you for the "Bisexual Myths" video, it helped me out alot.

03-3.50 was so important for me. thank you angel x

first of all: hair. second of all: big mood to all.

Love your hair (again). I don't know a lot of english so it's Just it.

I relate to you a lot, agree with what you said on this video and admire your line of thought (and intelligence of expression). I'm coming out (to myself, above any other) just now. I'm 38. I've made out with a girl when very young and always felt attracted to women here and there but I never really brought that up to fully consciousness and giving it any label (I don't like labels as well anyway but aside from that), because I've never really hang out with people from the community, on one hand, and on the other I grew up with "daddy issues" (thus only dated men since I had this disfunctional, obsessive type of relationship with) along with this traditional romantic ideal of finding a male soulmate for life. Took me a lifetime to get out of that self stereotype I formated myself in, actually not identifying with it any longer because of having a crush for this woman and only then realizing I must be bi... :) I do this podcasts for a local web radio and I actually addressed all this and sort of came out I guess on that podcast. This all being said I absolutely agree with you: I feel safe to be myself by now and also relieved actually, for getting more in touch with my true self and one can only know oneself in the same measure one experiences things and get to know different people and realities (or, just as for me, it will take you half a lifetime to figure yourself out. But as you also said: it is never late to be yourself 😉)

I just want to be able to be myself something I can’t do we’re I am

'Does this feel right?' is definitely a question to check internally about day-to-day interactions. 'Do I want to physically reflect my sense of self medically? Would I be okay with hormones/operations? Do I want biological children?' +More. Then research other people's experiences. There are definitely questions people questioning gender should be asking to recognize the need to transition socially & especially medically. And visit a LGBT clinic if it's available. The responsible thing is share that being transgender is a potentially lifelong series of medical & legal endeavors, not something you can simply feel out by yourself without risking a lot of confusion. You could be 1/2 a decade in & still need guidance, money for operations or medications, job support if that becomes an issue. Please ask thoughtful questions, especially to professionals & ppl in the community who have transitioned (or decided not to) & see why.

You helped a friend of mine greatly who is coming out trans....

Okay picture update & hair cut !!?!?! Come on truuu !!

Thank you for this beautiful, heartfelt advice

Oh dear God I'm afraid of everything too. Literally Me.

You always say the things I can’t find the words for 💜 thank you. Also you are so fucking beautiful 😅

Love you

Bisexual Haircut 💙💜💗

I know you identify as non-binary, but this hair/shirt/nasal voice combo is giving me 1990s burnout sexy rough macho bully vibes. lol

damn

What are your pronouns?

😔😔😔

Bro just come back to urself man, I think we are the same type of people, just be Connor bro.