I remember the first time my fiancé at the time cried in front of me. We used to work at a grocery store (I was a cashier and he was a grocery clerk. I would visit him before the start of my shifts) and he was in the back grabbing milk crates and... he looked horrible. It took me a few minutes of coaxing him when he finally opened up. And my man cried. I had to hold him. It was the best thing I could do for him. Just hold him and let him know that I would be there. I made sure to check on him any chance I got that day. Men deserve to feel safe when being vulnerable, just like the rest of us.
@@actionyear I would never. I know what it feels like to be vulnerable and be shot down for it. I try not to bestow that feeling onto someone else. I always create that safe space for anyone to open up.
Yeah females don't get the point I once told a friend that work is cool and all But the people in there are fucking negative. I considered switching jobs I changed then my job entirely and again I had the worst 4 months of my life Working till night everyday As a new employer they really fucked me up in the first 2 weeks (leaving me alone without anybody to help me and Made me handle all of the over 50 customers at the same time. Customers be talking shit and demand things from me. I haven't learned how to do) Making me work 14 days straight (Saturdays and sundays too) while everyone had a beautiful weekend Got left alone PLENTY of times because everybody went home and had to do 2 or 3 jobs at the same time And that bitch told me "You should've keep going to school" I'm sorry... what? Now I'm in a much better place Make more money and work less Get home early and live with my day
They will literally ask us to be vulnerable and then have zero hesitation in using that vulnerability to take advantage and throw us away when they got what they want and not lose a second of sleep over it. Sometimes makes me wonder if they really even have a heart because of how cold they can be
@@beastinfection638 it doesn't ring a bell to yourself as a male? Don't hate the the Playa hate the game. Yall do this everyday to women. Get over it. No self awareness whatsoever. But you call women emotional but look at you 🤣 *Charlie clips
This literally happened to me with one of my exes. She coaxed me so much to open up to her because I’m a very closed off person usually. And when I did finally decide to open up and confide in her, she verbatim said, “this is too much for me”. I felt so embarrassed. I swear some women just fetishize men’s emotions. They see it as a token to fuel their own egos, that they got a man to open up to them
It because they don’t really want you to open up with your emotions, they want you to open up and listen to their emotional vomit and nod your head the whole time they speaking. Women speak of emotional intelligence and they have none. That’s why they always running around crying and pouring they heart out to anyone that will listen.
My example was similar check this out. Girl who i dated at the time always talked that she would wish that I was more open and talk to her about my problems and feelings like this. When I finally decided to tell her (when she herself asked what's bothering you please tell me) I was like - "so this is how it is" in a few words possible without emotions without crying just cold facts how I feel and what I think about the topic she asked. Her response was dddddaaaaamn da hell you cry for be a man 😂😂😂😂😂
I hope all the men out there find a woman that allows them to be vulnerable and not use it against them. Please recognize that that is toxic behavior and it is not normal. We are all human beings with emotions and none of us regardless of gender deserve to tuck them away due to past experiences thinking that is all we have to do from this point on like it’s the default, because it’s not. I hope you all heal the parts of you that got shown the rugged side before the smooth side, it’s meant for you. God bless you 🤍
To all men who endured this trauma: I AM SO SO SORRY. I am a female and have had three men break down and cry with me, and I count it an honor that they let me hold them in my arms. It instantly elevated our bond. Women like me exist guys, dont give up on us.
You are the exception not the rule. Many won't risk it after going through that the first time but God bless you nevertheless for having the space in your heart
It’s funny but ITS NOT bc men literally pick the most stuck up girls to date all bc they fit a certain look then they get mad when she doesn’t really care about their feelings.
This really depends on the girl. Don’t open up to a chick that constantly asks you that shit always goes left cause, she romanticizes it off some social media shit. Only do it for girls that genuinely like you and she’ll show that through her actions.
@@uzibitch1Trust me there are women out there who actually listen and care. I have dated a few and believe me it helps a lot to be able to confide in the person you're in a relationship with.
I did this before, it turned out well on my end but i can understand how this is something that can go either way. My girl actually comforted me and everything. Was quiet and just listened while holding me. I dont make a habit of this, but knowing that i can vent makes a world of difference.
Honestly I feel it for men. Your struggles are valid and very real. It’s hard to find the right women who you can open up to. Praying for all the men who don’t have the right woman who they can confide in and I’m praying for the woman who don’t know how to be an ear and rock for the partner to become that woman. ❤
A woman like this is emotionally immature and manipulative. If you find a true good supportive woman, she is a rare gem that should be appreciated. Women like portrayed in this video give all women a bad name.
bruh ive been through so many of these situations with females im not emotional at all around them. i dont care what a female tell me about how not all of them are like that and every women is different lmao. never EVER!!!! EVEEEEERR!!! open up to women about anything sad or the shit you go through. leave that for your parents and your therapist >_>.
My mom was like this. Complete un-empathetic narcissist. This is called spiritual castration and instead of uplifting, they are killing. I honestly couldn't even watch this whole thing. I can tell he's been through this first hand.
Lowkey you a mom like that. Not as bad but super un-emphatic often. I still love her tho but sometimes I’m like nah lemme not even call to attempt to vent lol
Been married 9yrs yet I feel like Niles when I open up to my husband about struggles lol. On another note, a woman who truly loves you will be there to listen & pray with you during the hardship. I hate when a man don't communicate. If it affects you, it'll effect us...period.
@user-ye4bu6xh4c I can't and won't speak for all women. Yes, I communicate with my husband when I'm going through something. No, he's not God so how would he fix it, plus that's not why I tell my husband anything it's good to get it out & let him know why my mood or vibe is different. Didn't say y'all were making it up🙄
@@latoyiab79 I appreciate you doing that for your husband, and you are an angel for it, but with all do respect, you are in the very, very small minority.
Yeah, if a man can’t open up to me I don’t want him. In a relationship you’re supposed to be able to open up/rely on one another. IMO, might as well be single if you can’t do that.
@user-ye4bu6xh4c: then y'all either work it out in couple's therapy or find another woman. doesn't mean continue to be in relationships and not communicating. if that's the case you should work on "choosing better".
@@diggs1989 your 2 brain cells worked really hard on that one huh? Im saying just keep shit to urself and talk to ur friends if you need to. "jUsT daTe MeeEEn"
1:58 comedy aside this was the realest thing I’ve heard in a while 😔 -This is one of the reasons men don’t let others know what’s going on with their lives.
All jokes aside, I'm really sorry to all the men that have been through this. Your feelings are valid and you should never be shamed for it. Edit: side note: they say gender is a construct but being a man and expressing feelings is wrong?
Nah this sh*t is so accurate it's crazy. This sh*t giving me PTSD flashbacks. My gf of 3 years told all her friends when I got emotional talking about how my stepdad beat my mom when I was a kid. My lips are sealed about my emotions from now til the DAY I DIE.
I know this is comedy but when you're a family man and not just focused on being good in bed there's times where as men we feel our value is in how much money we make. This ish is real.
A girl i was dating for 10 months, ghosted and eventually blocked me when i asked for support and someone to talk to after my dog passed away. Paying for dinner, drinks, etc all gone to waste. Never again.
Been through this shit. When I was emotionally unavailable my girl was all over me and always *said* she wanted me to open up. When I actually did she was turned tf. Confide in your homies not your girl.
sorry you had a shit partner. but most aren't like that. confide in your partner(s) if they are worth it and won't use being human against you. hope you find someone else that understands you for you.
@@Xx1nf3ct3d_Sc4bzxX "most aren't like that" and you dead wrong, most ARE like that for western women like america for example, its the foreign girls that treat men better
Same dawg, opened up to a woman who was begging me to be honest cuz "that's what friends are for and the next day "I don't think we should continue this friendship" while she knew I was in the hospital. Shit made a nigga never wanna share again.
As a masculine presenting lesbian I experienced this last year and it was shook the hell outta me. Not only am I not used to being held to this expectation, I was just so disgusted and disappointed to be faced with the reality that women actually do this shit. Between that and them being obsessed with money it really made me feel differently about women and considering the fact that I am a damn woman its a very unsettling feeling.
Stud here. Straight girls (or girls who only dated men previously) are not used to having an emotionally mature and in tune partner. It’s initially jarring for them, but if they really love you, they adapt quickly. It’s not all women. Just the emotionally unhealthy ones. Gotta know how to pick them.
My Wife is fragile and will break at the first sign of trouble. So I always tell her "if you don't see me worried, you don't need to worry". She will NEVER know how close we've been to going under because I don't let her see it, and I find a way to get us through it. That's my job.
Sounds like my gran... I somehow take a masculine role, and try to protect her in every way possible emotionally and mentally but that gets emotionally draining... If I were to ever get married I'd hope my husband would not have to protect me to such an extent while he suffers in silence.
they always think THEY have it the worst and only think about their suffering and strongly believe that our suffering isnt as valid and our breakdowns and frustation isnt justified. Heaven forbid we bring up double standards. We wont just be ignored, we'll literally be attacked for being a "bigot", no matter how unfair it is for us. Its always about them. They always the victims apparently because they been treated as such since childhood and always told by media that their emotions matter more and they are always right. Thats why theres zero development of accountability or the ability to see situations with logic and objectivity instead of emotions and what they want in the heat of the moment. And we're the "immature" ones with no empathy smh 😒
@user-ye4bu6xh4c Solipsism - you beat me to it. Though I would say *'all of them'* not *'most'* because I don't think there's a single woman on the planet that would see a man in his moment of weakness and still be *attracted* to him... They're quick to yell "I'm not like that" or "SOME women" but show 'em your weakness and see if they'll backup their *words* with action.
If you've got time, check out these books: 1. The Manipulated Man by Esther Vilar 2. The Predatory Female by Lawrence Shannon 3. So You Want a Peaceful Relationship: 48 Dating Flags for Men by B. E. Dickson 4. Hack Her: True Female Nature by Cherubin Rosemund
Jokes aside, I just don't think that men (on average) value "sharing" our emotions as much as women do. Emotional expression =/= emotional maturity. The loudest person in the room is rarely the wisest. If you can articulate to yourself the reasons behind why you feel what you feel while managing to respond appropriately to whatever circumstances are put in front of you, then you are an emotionally mature human being (man or woman). Don't let the discourse fool you into thinking "opening up" = "emotional maturity".
We generally don't because we're socialized to find solutions, not ruminate about our problems. This is also evidenced in our communication styles: women show emotional support as a whole, men talk about activities, and both develop bonds through their shared methods. This is also why, when women talk to men about their problems, men offer solutions, not "oh, I'm so sorry to hear that, just sit tight and I'll go get some beverages?" But for men, the upside is the fact that we solve problems so they don't repeat themselves. The upside in how women communicate is that they receive more mental and emotional support when faced with issues they can't immediately fix.
You said some dope things. However, I think there’s some more to it. Emotional expressions has its greatest effectiveness in being able to convey those thoughts and feelings to someone else to get feedback from, whether for accountability, listening sake, or coming to a productive outcomes/actions. Articulating to yourself/introspectively can’t have it’s relevancy without bouncing said emotions/thoughts off of a sound wall of someone else that’s emotionally apt.
My last ex used my vulnerable moments to try and drive me away from my family. She saw how good of a relationship I have with them and that’s when the manipulation began. She’d get upset for the most trivial reasons and start crying, which would effect me emotionally and had me believing I was indeed wrong. But I snapped out of it, praises to the Most High. I haven’t given up on finding an emotionally mature woman, but I’ve gotten much wiser to the tactics.
You always run the risk when opening up. It’s a blessing to let someone go who can’t cater to your emotions. I pray that we all find that. But my baby can always open up to me. I’m here.
Coming from a woman this is 100% true and really messed up. I know when my husband complain about his job I really don’t care to hear it but at the same time when I complain about my job, I be wanting him to care. It’s really messed up on my part and I admit to it. I’m working on trying to not be like that anymore. I think most women are like that they just don’t want to say it. I feel like men can vent to women but when it comes to a job, women kinda draw a line at that.
You mentally gave that one LOSER control your life for 25 years? I’m so sorry you experienced that trauma. Shutting down is still an emotional response btw Most ppl won’t agree though because most have no idea how emotions live in the body, alter our physiology, and assume anything but a stoic face is too emotional or gives the ick Consider the visual: the moment you shut the door you became a petrified statue so quick that your hand couldn’t loosen its grip on the door knob. Of course you’re comfortable in this position, you convinced yourself for almost 3 decades that there was no remedy. You can’t control ppl but you can control how you react to them. I hope you consider revising the feelings you have around that story of being shut down so you can be distant and incompatible with that narrative. I grew up in an environment that promoted stfu until spoken to but meditation saved my life as an adult and helps a lot of folks open up too. It’s true that you find what you’re looking for so when ready look for ppl who are safe. That past loser is your gauge to know what NEVER to accept or expect again, and if you do, don’t take whatever they say personally. Once you decide how the past will be referenced by you, you’ll be surrounded with ppl who want to make the space for you to let it all out safely. There’s great content of men going to retreats and releasing years of pain through telling their truths aloud for the first time and being lovingly supported by all men and women there. There are ppl out there who won’t judge you for even having the most evil thought out there. Also there’s many “logical” ways to approach emotions too and a bunch of free content about it here on youtube! :D 25 years is a long time to have pain live in the body. It’ll take unwavering commitment to yourself to become the unpetrified person who looks back at the aforementioned loser and shrugs as you swing that damn door wide open hehe Wishing you healing! A lady admittedly lurking in the comments 👀
Damn all men really have the same life it seems like. My Ex gf and child’s mother for years always said I wasn’t emotionally in tune with her, I should open up, not keep things to myself blah blah blah. I finally let her (and she was the only person I ever told) know that during my childhood I was molested and it was weighing on me hard mentally at one time. When i first told her she hugged me, apologized for it happening to me and everything. One day (not too long after) we were poking fun at each other making light jokes how we usually do. So I make a little joke and she shoots back sharply “But didn’t you get molested when you were younger” with a cold grin on her face. My soul left my body at that moment and i honestly didn’t know what to even say back. But needless to say I’ve never opened up to another woman again🤦🏿♂️. Men only talk to your friends or close family members never open up to a woman they can’t wait to use what you said to hurt you or put you down💯
I must say that not only was this hilarious and sad to think of any woman responding to her husband opening up to her that way… You are one phenomenal actor, like seriously. The entire dialogue building up to the comedic lines was convincing and Oscar worthy!!! 🏆🏆🏆
damn bruh, this is fucked up lol. glad my girl allows me to bitch up sometime and talk no matter what if i need to but doesn't push it. wish you guys the best luck who don't have that kind of relationship.
@@sirninjaraiden no one said i was crying g, lol i was referring to being able to talk to your girl about things. no reason a grown man should cry period i feel like.
Personally i refuse to be around someone who doesn't show their emotions. It's creepy when someone isn't open emotionally, like super weird to me, and makes me think something is wrong with you.
my husband opened up to me and i just saw this little boy in him! i just stayed quite... i hugged him, cooked some food. and prayed for him! if.a woman cant handle your vulnerability its a good sign to leave. read book of samuel you guys. as much as you say you will never open up.. when life gets too hard.. you will. so better to vet woman out in dating stage
@@mmca9323 You’re right. My girlfriend proved me wrong yesterday. I’ve been with her for 3 years and I’ve never cried in front of her. All the women in my life made it dangerous to do for me. But she was there for me like a prayer angel. She was the best. I lost a friend to suicide recently and it hit me while we were out. He was a great guy. We served in Iraq together. You’re right sister. Not all women are like this. And you’re right that too many are. My current girlfriend is the only woman I know that is not. I’m blessed. But i won’t cry again in front of her for another 3 years. Haha. Can’t be testing that too often. 😊. Thanks for being the voice of reason sis. God bless you and yours.
@@TheAnthropola lot of men are like this too with their girlfriends, especially the ones who go after the "baddies" expecting them to having always lived life on easy mode
The women in the comments saying they're different would most likely switch up when they're this exact position lol. Your girl would tell you to your face how aware she is about other women doing this and do the SAME DANG THING. It wont be immediate, but they'll hold it against you until they find a "good" reason to split off from you. I'm sure there's genuine women who are cool like that, but even a lot of genuine ones will start feeling different about you. it's best to just not open up to women unfortunately. Actions vs words or whatever. You know how it goes
Now I'll say you can probably get away with it if you're so valuable that it would genuinely a loss for her, knowing you would be able to find someone else with ease. So she'll tolerate you lol. This mess aint healthy
💔💔 THIS BROKE MY HEART! Even though this is a skit. My husband opened up to me and wow he held alot of stuff in from child, that is why I am his peace and happiness❤. They tell men that they don't suppose to cry or show emotions B.S. that is why so many are in jail, drinking, gay, doing drugs and etc.. I'm a superb listener and not a judgmental person I think that is why ppl are drawn to me like a moth to a flame 🔥
Forreal all these people saying they've tried opening up to women 😂 I could never. I hardly ever go to my boys or my dad about anything. And I'm just fine, people need to deal with their shit. Women especially don't want an emotional man who gives af what they say, they're always tryna act like angels 🤣
Men only open up to other men cause we know we gon' get called weak by our girls if we do it to them 😭😭I know women say they want an "emotional man" but they don't understand that we rarely ever do get emotional, we keep it all pent up, so when we DO let loose, it get's channeled as anger. It takes another man to calm one man down when he's worked up and upset. It's just a different kind of hurt that you just can't understand. So be careful what you ask for when you actually do get your hands on an "emotional man" and he starts getting emotional
Nah deadass, cuz some friends really be slimey on the low plotting on you. Waiting, hell PRAYING to see you down. Chin up, stay wit God Gang🙏🏿🙏🏿. You be ii
@@Heyu7her3Most men don’t open up to anyone at all, it’s why the suicide rates for my gender are at an all time high and only growing. Lack of communication is only getting worse because of internet “gurus” that promote being an “alpha male.”
And then die early just so everyone can say “he was a good man” and then use his name for sympathy. Being a man regardless of race is hard. At every step.
My ex called me a lunatic when I told him that and would gaslight me and insist I said things when I didnt and turn around and say I do and say things unaware
@@TheMothalandIntuitive They make people with bipolar disorder look crazy in the media and people think “This is what bipolar disorder looks like” but they forget that Hollywood exaggerates everything and most of that is for entertainment and not realistic, not everyone with bipolar disorder acts the same, there are different levels and one person can have other mental health disorders that’s wrong with them. I told my friend that I had bipolar disorder and she had the nerve to tell me that I don’t have bipolar disorder because her nephew has bipolar disorder and I don’t act like I have bipolar disorder. I thought to myself “Are you a psychologist? Do you have a medical degree?” Apparently knowing one person with bipolar disorder made her an expert at diagnosing people with bipolar disorder. People just make assumptions and think they know everything and some of those people who are quick to judge and diagnose have their own mental health disorders that they are not aware of.
Firstly if you feel as though you cant fly trust your partner. Never give them personal or confidential. I have diagnosis and only my Parents know. I do not share it with friends/coworkers or partners
It's sad men feel they can't even be vulnerable with their partners but can't say I blame them. Unfortunately, our society still expects men to put on a tough face at all times, so many women are surprised (and disgusted) to learn that men have soft feelings too. Even I have to unlearn that toxic way of thinking. When my husband first cried in front of me, I was uncomfortable and didn't know what to say or do to make him stop. But honestly, sometimes you've just got let someone have a good vent/cry to feel better. Even though emotional displays turn off a lot of women, I would still encourage men to express themselves honestly so they can attract the right kind of woman.
It sucks there’s so many men out there that have encountered shitty females. I’m sorry y’all even have to go through that. I’m living proof that there’s a few gems out there that GENUINELY care, and want to hear your daily demons, and not hate on you, but love and support you. Lotta females just mad and been hurt by the same shitty people but in man form, or just bitches…either way, keep on truckin 💜💪🏾
Man, reminds me of when I got in a car accident, totaled my car, and was bleeding all over my left arm/had a concussion. My ex was like "Ugh, I had to mentally prepare myself for the chance that you'd be crying, but I guess I'm ready for it" when she came over. Like, I wasn't even feeling like crying but damn, appreciate you holding it down for me after I got into a crash....
LMFAOOOO “she told me you was soft” 😂😂 I wanna comment what my ex did but it’s so vile he’ll know I’m talking about him & he watched your videos hell know I’m talking about him.
as a woman watching this it actually makes me so sad to see all the comments agreeing and saying this has been their experience too. not once have I ever shamed a man for having emotions/opening up no matter what it was ever about. and my man knows he can always come to me with anything and he does whenever he needs to. it doesn't tend to be very often because he is emotionally strong like most men but a few times a year he will come to me about things that are troubling him and I'm always there to listen/hear him as well as comfort him. MEN DESERVE TO BE TAKEN CARE OF EMOTIONALLY TOO ‼️ IT IS OKAY AND HEALTHY FOR MEN TO HAVE EMOTIONS ♥
Maybe you are genuine and I respect that. But a lot of women are very immature in the current dating scene and can’t handle these conversations, but act like they are about it. It is a form of toxicity and , like many others, it has put me off dating Western women because of it.
@@TinyMeatGaang that’s not anything to be proud of you man literally tell women not to take out with other men have done to them out on the new man yet here y’all are doing what you ask women not to do to you literally been what you ask women not to be which is damaged come healed yet y’all are huge doing the opposite. It gives not a man of my word it gives I don’t believe in my own words it gives your standards are wavy.
I can't even be vulnerable with my own MOTHER. she doesn't want to hear it, always making herself the victim when she's the one with the poisonous tongue.
Yooo I feel sooo bad for guys. For those who've gone thru this w a woman, I hope u find peace and solace whether w ur girl or not. I truly am sorry on behalf of those who couldnt b understanding in ur time of need. 😢❤
Tell dudes all the time, cry to a licensed therapist or a trusted male confidant. Do not expose your vulnerabilities to your girl or wife. Women are not built to handle male problems.
@@chey6073it’ll be a woman not HIS woman. So this would not be the same scenario. She will just do her job. I think OP meant women aren’t built to handle their mans problem, not man problems in general.
I'm sorry you had such bad experiences with women who you thought you could trust your feelings to. Not all of us are like that, but definitely be vulnerable with who you are comfortable with!!
They only care when it affects them. You could be depressed and showing less affection to them and then they wanting to know what's wrong with you cause you stopped showing them affection. They don't care that you stopped eating or playing the game for a couple days.
I will tell you something very important tho: girls who act like this and are disgusted by men's emotions, are the same way with their female friends. I have female friends that I literally only go out with at parties, because if I were ever to talk about deep things they would act so annoyed and they would change subject
im sorry u experienced that. one of my friends has depression and eating issues and i try to send little reminders to eat all the time :( thats just sad some peoples literal partners dont even notice
Never question the nature of things. You just gotta accept it and work through it. So yeah… never ever let your woman see you get emotional. Also, to any naive guy saying that it depends on the woman you’re with, she’s already working to replace you soon enough. 😂
First time seeing a man say this. I had a man say I used his emotions against him once and it was because he absolutely flipped his lid on me for falling asleep on the phone. It was 2 am! I passed out and woke up to nasty texts and he yelled at me in a voicemail and on the phone lmao. When I said I can’t deal with him anymore he accused me of being unable to handle his emotions and truth. No, dude you’re just crazy. After having experienced that, I take the “no woman cares about men’s emotions” stuff with a grain of salt
@@sj3969 yeah I agree. It honestly depends on the delivery and not all guys can regulate their emotions well. I’m not flipping out but when I’m unhappy with something I definitely address it.
