I hope you guys enjoyed!!! More relationship advice is coming on Thursday's podcast episode, make sure you're subscribed to the glow up secrets podcast channel, linked in my description 🦋
I’m getting out of a 5 year relationship that I lost myself in. We are two people who love eachother deeply but things did not work even though we tried our best. We broke up on Friday and I’m not okay. I need this right now🖤
Aww sweetie.. you're not supposed to be okay right now. And that's absolutely okay. You're allowed to feel your emotions, you're allowed to cry your heart out. Take your time.. relax. God has your back(if you believe). I'm so proud of you for choosing you. I love you. Please take care and know that life is amazing no matter what. Everything will be alright, trust me or just trust the process💗🌺
I never comment but I was in the same situation some months ago. My best advice would be to start doing the things you had to compromise (i assume that you had to compromise some stuff, correct me if i'm wrong). And of course don't feel guilty for your current feelings, it's human and you should honor it❣️
I’ve been with my fiancé for 4 years and I’ve made it a priority to date myself because I know what it’s like to lose myself in relationships. This is real tea. I’m in this space of relearning self love for this exact reason. & I love that I’m with somebody who’s supportive of my independence and encourages it
Phew this one hit home. Just got out of an almost 6 year relationship that demanded so much of my time and energy that I had nothing left for me. I could easily blame him and act like he was controlling me, but I’ve realized that I’m just as much to blame for not setting boundaries and expressing my needs. Big lessons learned moving forward.
I needed this so much, my boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 years and 8 months I feel like I have lost myself. We are together all the time, the only time we separate is when we go to work but we still text each other very often. I feel lost and without purpose in life. I wish I could have power over my own life but he got used to have power over it because I allowed him and didn’t set up boundaries I’m the first place. It’s gotten worse because of his red pill mentality and sometimes I do not know what to do anymore. I feel like a little lost fish just letting the ocean lead me though life.
literally minutes ago, i just wrote in my journal to remind myself not to lose myself, goals and ways in the current relationship i’m in! perfect timing 💕
It always feels like you know exactly what I need to hear. I'm in a non serious relationship where for the first time I'm prioritizing myself and it's a learning curve but I feel so much better for it. so happy I've done a lot of the things you have talked about but as always, you teach me something else 💖
when i was 19 i was in a codependent relationship,, this is such an important message to share with us :,) thank you, i definitely needed this friendly reminder
thank you for this. i broke up with my ex almost 4 months ago and i feel so much better now. i lost myself completely in this relationship (over a year) and was emotionally attached to him. he was living in another country, so i visited him every month. i worked more to get the money together and more free time. i gave too much. i realized it after over a year and my health got so bad to a point where i broke up with him to heal myself and actually start evolving. i feel so much better!! this is such a helpful video and to see that i’m not alone in my journey. greetings from germany ❤
Your video helps me not feeling guilty for wanting daily space as an introvert in a starting relationship. My boyfriend is understandable and told me that compared to the time we will spend until the end of our life together this is totally fine 😂❤ i love him Sorry if this is not good translated i am french 😅
girlll go watch some esther perel lectures or interviews!!! she’s absolutely brilliant, she talks about desire and eroticism and maintaining them in relationships by being independent and mysterious. you’d love her stuff. also she’s drop dead gorgeous and in her sixties
Oh babe I have!! She’s unmatched.. she is actually a girl who GETS IT. Omg I love her. It’s my reminder to go watch more of her though, interestingly enough i was thinking it’s time for some more Esther 🥹
I’m only like five minutes in to this video and I already wanna say you have helped me understand myself so much (particularly my inner child) and the more I understand things the more I can give myself grace for my ways of thinking or behavior in the past. Whenever I get frustrated with my past self, my therapist always tells me “be nice to that little girl!” 😅❤
Sis your literally the best, I thought I was going crazy for having a mindset like this but I try to tell my friends this all the time but they are going to lose me in the process so over their toxic relationship
Thankyou for this video!🙌 Its definitely helpful, im at a point in my life where I feel a relationship may be coming in and ive been blocking it because I silently didn't want to lose myself again like in past relationships. What you said about keeping a routine and having connections really resonated because my last relationship I totally made myself available the whole time and inside I started to build resentment until I finally blew up and ended things. Now I can allow myself much more space in my future relationship with this awareness.🤓
I really needed this. My recent relationship with the most amazing man failed bc I lost myself and was too available. He called me desperate, emotionally immature, said I made him uncomfortable then left. I made a lot of mistakes (thankfully none of them as bad as cheating but still bad) that I need to learn from. I’m still upset bc he left his mark on me. He’s far more mature than me and I learned a lot from him. He was wonderful til the end. I still miss him but…I’m also happy to focusing on myself again since I got a dog so I’m not lonely anymore. Your videos have been helping learn to grow and heal from the experience. Thank you. 💖
Babe. Please don’t put the entire ending of the relationship on you. I’m really proud of you for taking responsibility and accountability for your actions, but to put it all on you by saying he’s the most amazing man, did nothing wrong and it was all you hurts my heart to read. I’m not denying that he might have been mature and his points may have been correct, but someone that is “so amazing” for you in my opinion wouldn’t call you desperate, too available and whatever else he did and simply leave a mark that has seemed to hurt you. Honestly though it’s just my opinion, but please don’t ever put an entire ending of a relationship on you, as it will always no matter what involve 2 parties. I’m just glad that you’ve learned and you’re taking responsibility for your actions and I know you’re going to find the perfect man for you. ❤️
I lost myself in friendship that I thought was worth fighting for but seemed like it showed me more of how I am helping that friend to act more of a victim whilst no caring about how I feel at all. I knew her for 3 years and she warned me many times that she won’t put effort in it like I did I didn’t believe in signs. Please guys believe in sign and flags always!
Ohmygod major update: I’ve been bottling up some insecurities about my friendships for so long and finally opened up to my friends after A WHOLE MONTH. It was so scary but I did it. I even told one of them (my best friend who also happens to be my roommate) about my attachment to them and we communicated things out. She was very supportive and gave me advice on where I need to improve myself, which I took really well because I was aware of my own faults. I finally made the decision to move out of my dorm to stay alone and work on my self worth, get to know myself, enjoy my own company etc. and they completely understood and in fact encouraged me to do so. I know what happened was my fault as I let my insecurities get in the way of my friendship but I am well aware of what needs to be done and I forgived myself so I can move on to the next step. I am very nervous but I have faith that this will bring out the best in me so I’m also prepared for this journey Thank you so much for this video Elicia, truly ❤️
i am so grateful for this video!!! i love your channel, but first time commenting bc i really needed it. two days ago i was feeling super anxious bc i am starting to date someone new (we have been friends for a few months now already but now started dating) and i was completly falling back in my old thinking patterns (from a really really toxic relationship), like thinking really bad about my self and stuff and checking if he answered etc. and i wrote a lot in my diary of course and thought about it. bc i know i am an anxious attached person and i never had a secure love with my ex bf, it was always on and off that (daily basis at some point), and i think i need to communicate that with my new dating partner (i mean he knows my past) and i know í´ve come so far already, but it is really good to be reminded of the things you said, bc i am still afraid to fall in old patterns, but reminding myself its old, really helps! thank you so much
Aw omg. I’m really proud of you for coming to this realization! I know it’s not always easy and these conversations can be uncomfortable, but I do believe communicating with a partner who really wants to be with you is the best way forward. It seems like you’re actively really trying to work through some of these patterns which I’m sure your partner would be pleased to hear about as well. So proud of you.❤️
If you are in a situation where you are very open to the person (e.g. talking about trauma or bad past experiences)- they are supportive and listen but are quite closed off because of their own past experiences and they maintain strict boundaries- would u say that talking about ur trauma and deep thoughts is something that you should try to avoid?
I think if they are supportive and listen, and also communicate with you the reason why they are a little closed off I wouldn’t say this is completely a red flag, and that this person is not for you. I find, especially with men it can be hard for them to open up about their own past when they haven’t worked through it yet. Avoiding is a strong word, but maybe it’s best to unpack certain situations with friends, family, a therapist instead of with a partner who has expressed to you it’s hard for them to open up about the situations. But I also think it’s good to remind yourself that if you’re looking for someone to be able to have these deep conversations, and your partner is really not willing/not interested in this, it might become an issue down the line.
honestly every video is my favorite elicia. i never can get enough of you. you have a plethora of amazing info to give out. but this by far is going to be my most replayed video. thank u
i loved this video and i agree connecting with the self before other people is helpful. i never check my messages before at least praying and then some sort of meditation even if it’s short. that has helped all my relationships i think. ❤❤❤
Me and my bf just had this convo. I just was telling him how I feel n he said I need more time for myself because ever since we had my son I’ve been putting myself last in every way
I am thankful that this video came in my feed. Not sure how but this was the perfect video to send a new friend. It’s amazing how women can tell themselves these things. No wonder men take advantage. Shame on them too but what’s easy is easy. Maybe if we all followed the same rules these issues wouldn’t become normal. Thank you for your honesty but this is only a spec of many issues. To think we have 10:rules now we have 100000… you get my point.
Elicia - thank you so much for this video came at the perfect time! I’m getting into a new relationship now & I voted for this video just bc I am so good at being by myself ( Scorpio!) that I don’t want to lose my independence and become co dependent on my partner . I definitely am looking for that healthy balance of “healthy obsession” and having a great life outside my relationship . Thank you again, gracias! ❤️
This video was straight up the most useful and calming things ever. I have been catching myself always losing losing myself into relationships and it's been so unhealthy. I have an anxious attachment style, so it's exhausting for both sides. But you're right, it's so important to prioritize yourself in such a way where you know that you matter the most at the end of the day. And if they listen, communicate and understand then that's great. If not, then they're not the one and simply walk away.
Honestly, I could listen to you talk all day ☺️, like I love your voice, I love your fashion sense, I love your common sense, and I love your caringneess (probably not a word). But you’re right taking time to be with yourself matters in a relationship, having a social life. I love having a girlfriend who makes time for her friends, I love it when she prioritizes communication, it helps me to better align with her and really it makes me more patient. I was reviews my comments recently, and I didn’t realize how repetitive I can be. I promise I won’t bring up my previous relationship no more 😅. I feel like I let you down when I keep doing that, won’t happen again. But I hope you don’t mind the compliments because with those, I can’t really help myself. Keep doing such a good job, beautiful 💛
left my ex for money issue 🙋♂️ now Im dating this new local chick who thinks Im into her but to be very honest not into her in the slightest but she is gonna help with money! Uk shit economy 😅
I have not! I find those can be useful for some, but I’ve learned a lot about human design/astrology and it’s not really my cup of tea for needing direction in my life but I totally believe it’s very useful for some :)
I love how you wrapped everything up at the end!! So good. The way you explain things always help me remember. I really appreciate you being vulnerable on here, and speaking on topics that I think really matter for other girlies. Also, that is a great book recommendation! I have read it, and it was really insightful. ❤ Sending love to you!! (And sun too! ☀️☀️☀️)
