How Past Trauma Affects Your Present | Dr. Jame Doty 

Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate. -Carl Jung

I found this out at age 54, never give up!

We don’t create this energy. It’s put on us by abuse/trauma/neglect. It’s our job to transmute it and not pass it on to others.

Yes. We are attracted to what is familiar, even if it is negative or otherwise "bad." Socrates said that the purpose of life is to know oneself. People often don't want to look at the past or look into the own hearts because doing so can be painful. Pain is just pain like pleasure is just pleasure. What you avoid or deny can often define you, though.

Yep. That's why I am healing my patterns. My father was emotionally unavailable and I married a man way worse than he was but this is SPOT ON! Change your energy change your life!🧚🏾‍♀️❤️‍🔥👁🧬🧚🏾‍♀️🕉🧘🏻‍♀️🙏🌎✌️

Always informative and an educationally sound advice from all your guests. Information worth it's weight in gold. Love your show.

We are a product of our childhood, and even good parents don't always give you what you need emotionally. That is a unintentional form of trauma. A good therapist can help you work through the issues. EMDR is particularly effective for trauma.

And that I had to discover myself at the age of 40. Talk to your children!!

Change your future by being open and able to do an introspection of your life and circumstances! Shakespeare “T thine own self be true!”

We have to learn to be discerning with all our choices... we don't need to be influenced by our past... "According to your faith it shall be done..."

Gold, once again, from Howes and his guests. Gold.

Facing baggage and healing from past hurt is the best gift you can give yourself. It’s no picnic in the park. You will face a lot of suppressed pain. I would highly recommend counseling when working on healing from past hurt and pain. It frees you to live your best life and take your whole self in a loving relationship. You won't settle for less than what you deserve. ❤❤

Ok yes I absolutely agree 👍 But even if you have an awarness of where things are coming from like an abandonment wound you must be willing to actually go deeper and heal it.That takes a lot of courage and self-love.And it entails a level of maturity, readiness and patience with self.That is what happened to me when u was in a trauma bonded relationship even with all of my spiritual awareness I still had to go through that experience.Thank you for this 💙 🙏

WE MUST DO THE WORK, or the behavior foes not change ✌️ Thank You both Lewis & Guest

This is all my truth and I’m seeing the light, just trying to break the karmic cycle of my stress cycle that’s stuck on repeat!

Truth. I was in the cycle until I decided I deserved better. Thankfully I noticed the pattern early in life and corrected it.

This is so true took my husband of 36 years dying in’22 to learn this through therapy. I feel like a well rounded person open straight forward honest but picking husbands that didn’t show me love and respect even when I felt like an excellent wife I was always in fix it mode. I didn’t know how to pick a nice man due to my childhood alcoholic cheating father and mom always angry

💯✅ that's why i away for every person who are hurting me and abused my goodness to them. People valued you when you are gone with them and you are started yourself valued, selfcare, selflove and most to protect myself from anyone else❤️🙏🤞

Thank you, Above words ❤❤❤❤

Very true 🙌🏼 I was in the same cycle for years until til I said no more! Thank you for sharing 🙏🏼

Oke.....thank you Dr. Jame and my friend.....GBU...🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

We need to learn that the baggage we carry due to extreme trauma in our lives where we weren't seen as having any value to the adults who abused us we must break free from their perception of us and we are not who they have repeatedly over and over their words and their own dysfunctional choices are who they are. For so many years even though I knew I was not the individual they wanted to me to be I had to finally learn I am me and I create my own reality.

So true so heal yourself so uou love yourself and respect you✨️

Exacly what I was subconsciously doing to myself for over 30 years of my life. I finally learned how to recognise my childchood trauma, admit, and walk towards a healing journey.

Very good to know words of wisdom😊

Being in therapy for a year and a half, first six months as just the client, and then the other year as a co-counselor & working with over a hundred a fifty clients, habits are a challenge to break. And one of the challenges to overcome is the awkward feeling of being treated with respect, and unconsciously pushing a healthy partner away because they do NOT FIT the pattern within the brain's training. It IS expanding to realize you are the captain of your life, you steer the boat, and your ACTIONS will keep the boat afloat or sink on the reefs. You make the decision, no body else. You are an adult. Therefore standing accountable for your actions, instead of blaming any other for your decisionmaking, makes for a freedom victims never understand.

Thats the unconscious programm hard wired BUT we can change! I believe, I do the work and I make it 💪 Thank you 🙏 ❤

So so true

Very deep lesson here. TY

That unconscious smile/grimace he makes after every statement is 😖

be accountable before you enter any relationship. No excuses stop ruining people. People know exactly what they saying yes to. And what is forced

I am fully, but i still can't seem to change these things, or maybe now at 62, I think it's almost too late as my childhood trauma has ruined my life.

Thank you

My dad was a gem it was my crazy mother

😢 so true

Truth.

I recommend you read Dianetics: The Modern Science of Mental Health. Best book I’ve ever read on how my mind works and a natural therapy that goes along with it. It will answer all your questions about yourself and others. Amazing book,

It’s your normal! Become aware and do the work. ❤

We don't create that energy... we are conditioned to believe that is love. It's as we grow older that we have to go through intense therapy to unlearn the learned behaviours that have caused this pattern to change it. It's not quite that simple. We also get traumatised further by systems and government who are also traumatised people... it's a far deeper issue than is being addressed. We are blaming individuals when we have to look at the environments that humans are in and what's going on around us, as well as what's going on within us. It's a far more deep rooted issue. We need to look at society as a whole and the rising cases of mental illness and other illnesses. They occur for a reason.

I wonder if this has something to do with trauma bonding

Where is the behavioral training that leads one to smile like this man when saying hard things? I’ve noticed another elder doing this.

How do i repair this? So i stop with bad relationships. I know i deserve better.

Seeing Dr. Doty smile sympathetically while speaking “hurt” and “pain” relates well to coregulating during emotional flashbacks.

Magnetic attraction to try to fix it. Feels familiar

That's so true!

❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

❤ thanks

Could someone please point me to the video this clip is from? I can’t seem to find it

CHANGE YOUR ENEGY CHANGE YOUR LIFE = BOOK

💯💚🕊️

Yes and when we work through those trauma Then We become emotional intelligent

These narcissistic stuck in child hood trauma they can’t escape 🙏🙌🧨🧨🧨

💯..

🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾......😇😇😇😇😇

So what we should do? How can I throw away the baggage ?

🧡💛🙏🙏🙏💛🧡

So is emotionally unavailable abusive ?

I disagree that we just draw all abusive horrible people. I think there’s a ton of very abusive men in the world if you really look at the statistics, so not all of them are easy to distinguish who is isn’t if you have that past that’s not heal, but sometimes you deal with Thaman and even the best. Once you realize what’s happened to you, you try to pick better this blame the victim, mentalities annoying especially when people did the work and even when people do the work they end up in bad relationships because people lie and wear masks who they are and it doesn’t disappear until you’re marriedor something else they have complete control over and it’s too late so some people in relationships do not trust them to do certain things in the relationship like financially take care of you and they leave and that’s fine but recognizing the signs is not always easy I dated somebody for 10 years them out. They were tiny signs, but the signs didn’t really blame me in the face until we were married then it’s too late.

This man smiles, when he says he had an abusive father (smile) hurt me , (smile), painful (smile) This means he has still not come to terms with it.

How to break away from this cycle WITHOUT spending life savings on therapy 😂😂???? Thanks

I couldn’t understand why i was attracting disloyal man in to my life until now 🥺

💯

I probably understand but at some point I still behave crazy . I make my partner crazy . I act crazy and I cause my partner to act crazy . I just lose it . I know I shouldn't say or behave in a certain ways .but I still say the wrong things . Painful things in public . I do creat and say things that are hurtful and of course there will be pecortion s . I feel I am impolsive , and that I lose control over what comes out of my mouth . I understand it logically but something in my brain , my subconscious feels uncontrollable " need " to be eventually destructive for myself & for the partner . Most of my life I kept so many things inside myself . Now these Staff is taking over like I am forced to give it a place against my logic or what I truly feel or think . I cannot suppress these crazy staff anymore .

The abusers were abused also, which doesn't mean they should abuse or that it's okay. It's a choice. Stop abusing!

❤🎉😢😂😊😮😅😢 100% I agree

How to heal?

That’s all very well and good but if you’ve never had access to the help, therapy or guidance you need to heal your trauma, what hope is there for you?

Wrong, the individual did not create that energy, the perpetrator did, especially if it was repeated. Now, on top of the trauma, you blame the one on the receiving end to make it worse. The individual is responsible for becoming aware of that bad energy and clearing it, but they were Not the source, so correct yourself!! Here, you're adding insult to injury for people already plagued by guilt, shame, or whatever other emotion, and now you want to add blame. That's Not smart. Unfortunately, the individual had to endure whatever abuse, and it is up to them to work through it when they're old enough to see the bad energy now ingrained in them, but never, never blame the victim, especially that most were probably little children when it all started.

That's low hanging fruit, but true for the low hanging fruit.

He's 1997, life path number 9, falsely called the cops on me after assaulting me, He's a body builder-strength trainer, literal son-devil, as in my older brother. I have cancer and he's angry there's focus on me.

Lmao not really though, we're mystics.