How the 16 Personalities Avoid Stress | Escaping the “Grip” 

I bet you don't even use this.

Hi, super thankful for this. I was wondering if there's something similar to this, but for the third function? Happy to research it, but as an INTJ it feels like the 'burnt out' feeling is coming from the 'F'- which similar to the intro, I've been trying to leverage more / upskill in. Do you know if there's a name / concept for something like that?

R u an intj type

Intp here

Thank you!

❤

This is really awesome to hear. I'm an advocate of the sentiment that "action is the antidote to many things" ~ Nathan

That's awesome to hear. I love seeing any type working on the things that are usually weaknesses or struggles of theirs. Integrating those sides of ourselves makes a massive difference in life. The balance it affords means you'll get derailed far less! ~ Nathan

Great mindset. Those in between moments make the meaningful ones more special too ~ Nathan

I have been learning that Ne can sometimes help using Te. Either by thinking "the money or structure I'm getting from this grind will allow me to play with Ne more" or " how can I do this in a funnier way, even if just slightly" or simply by using Ne on my work because at the end of the day, Ne is the easiest and most fulfilling way for an INFP to extrovert. It also helps to use Te when you know it's contributing to a Fi goal. Now if you are going through a Te grind that isn't contributing to an Fi goal, it might be best to get out of that ass soon as possible. That's the thing, not all Te activities are created equal.

@@sebastianmartinez5508 The "even just slightly" part is great. It only takes a small injection of your own individuality or creativity to make something feel like your own. That can be a lifesaver at times ~ Nathan

I’m a very sensitive INFP. I’m learning to be ok with that and to not assume the worst and to accept and be authentic is a key to feeling connected more. Being discounted is discouraging and makes me feel unloved and like I’m going to be abandoned even though that’s not really true.

That is such an INTJ thing to say 👏 I've taken it to the point of building a system of tools, tips and techniques to help me do just that (plan, track and report) so I can remain objective. It even includes a status type of Good Enough For Now (GE4N) to remind me to move on😁

Acuurate.

Same here but it does get to me sometimes.. people just won't notice it because I take time to myself to calm down

Oh my god. Yes. I feel this. I thought I was just insane for having quick phases like this. Infj.

same here. my spontaneous phases are rare but I always exaggerate them so much, ending up promising to myself to never do it again, but then never keeping that promise

My sister's an INFJ and this is exactly her. She usually has just one solid plan and sticks to it, which is very good, but then she suddenly does something completely spontaneous and unplanned and then hating herself for it later, only to do something like this again, anyway.

Me in a nutshell. Never have i realized this tendency before you putting it into words actually. My spontaneity happens as frequent as my stress, it can be actions which is generally considered great to relieve INFJ's stresses like doing chores i've put off for a while in the middle of the night or just random pointless acts like partying or impulsive buying. Must be parts of the reasons why i look extroverted at the very first glance

I've heard people say that under stress our shadow side comes out (the ENTJ is the shadow side of the INTP and vice versa). I've also seen this play out in practice too ~ Nathan

@@lovewho I've noticed this phenomenon too, where the ENTJ characteristics emerge

@@xiau It does seem to be a consistent pattern with the types, which is pretty fascinating.

My brother is INTP. And the last sentence you have written is something that he uses a lot. "We should nuke this.”, “That needs some nuking.” I showed this comment to him and he laughed because he saw his thinking and phrase reflected back at him.

@@lovewho Hey Nathan, love your channel! This "ENTJ-mode" is my way of getting things done which is not normal for me. I procrastinate, accept flawed surroundings and put up with toxic people until my inner stress meter starts ringing, then I go into full berserk mode until everything is done. After that I start fantasizing about Quantum Gravity again and play video games...

That's a fascinating trajectory. Hopefully rediscovering that part of yourself won't be too painful! ~ Nathan

I am INTJ but did the same thing!

​@@Sharkuterie327trust me I'm an ENTJ and I relate with INTJs all the time

Ending with some Welsh... I'm impressed. Someone showed me a Teal Swan video recently actually. I was wondering what type she was! ~ Nathan

I am intrigued by her. She is very good. First video I saw of hers about 4 years ago was her defending herself. She was amazing. I adore the way she chuckles to herself after stating something either ironic or obvious! 😂 I am live near Llantrisant at the bottom edge RCT Nathan. 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿

The Se grip tends to show up as sensory indulgence: overeating, drinking, various other physical pleasures. It can even be them going way too hard on pushing themselves physically. I've known INxJs when under stress to get obsessive about fitness and working out but to a very extreme degree. They might also try to force themselves to be more spontaneous and risk taking, feeling like they've been burned by their usual planful ways. The easiest way to think of the types experiencing grip stress is to see them as unhealthy versions of their opposite type ~ Nathan

From personal experience (my type is INFJ) and observation of my uncle and my friend’s sister (both INTJs), we actually get into a fight mode while stressed. Not sure if this is the case for all. It is kinda of a combative attitude that has escalated from forcefulness in thinking to forcefulness in being. Some might engage into the indulgence part mentioned by the content creator, but it is not necessarily the case. Since it is used to erase or implement the mental concepts created on the inside by engaging in external sensory activity, it may look like wanting to take control over Se. In a “normal state”, Ni understands that the best way to do things in life is not through external control but internal one while maintaining external freedom. In a grip, it seems to be the opposite - the freedom needed is gained through control over external variables. I am not sure I have explained this properly. I hope you will get what I mean.

@@solarisan_ INTJ: Yep. I feel sorry for the kids in my neighborhood growing up. I would get so frustrated when a plan didn't come together that I would get physical. It's been many years since, but I still resist the urge daily and I've found healthy outlets for my aggression. You did a great job explaining my desired state. I call the philosophy of managing it Freedom in a Frame. Thanks for putting yourself out there. 👏

@@lovewho "The easiest way to think of the types experiencing grip stress is to see them as unhealthy versions of their opposite type" ~Brilliant.

INTJ and I have to guard against the "slit throats and burn bridges" impulse, but while I can see how that's a case of rogue Se, I think it's just letting the intrusive voices win. Usually I can avoid following that path by taking a moment to draw back and inspect the consequences and how they relate to what I /really/ want. That said, I find Se most useful in doing experiments, particularly when expanding systems or testing bounds. The Plan can be "lets do an experiment", and it usually yields better information at a much faster rate than simple research or plotting. I don't do "action for the sake of action", and tend to be suspicious of such, but I do like my experiments.

Hopefully this video helped a little bit! ~ Nathan

😏

Close to my experience too, I do stress because of busy-ness though.. having no time to myself, having to Fe a loooot more than I should, and it really gets to me, where I start validation seeking and thinking people don't like me, not liking myself, telling people about my insecurities and stuff, and then logically telling them that I'm just going through Fe grip and I'm trying to work it out.. but I also mistyped myself as INFP.. but for me my values always have to be logically consistent and everything has to follow the same logic or alarms go off in my head

yeah. Perfectionism sometimes gets in the way of things, even in my drawing or planning something.

ENFP artist friend: I just decide the composition of the drawing as I go, it's no fun if I know what I'm going to draw! INFP writer friend: I hate getting stuck writing a plot if I already know how it will unfold! My INTJ artist ass: Spends days mapping my vision, sketching up possible compositions, color scheme, bits of symbolism, character expressions, and is now too stressed out to get started on the actual piece from fear that it won't live up to my "perfect" idea

Hope you enjoyed the video! ~ Nathan

When people are astonished at my 'luck', I just tell them that I live a charmed life

@@kruggmichaels8958 Luck is when preparation meets opportunity.

It's interesting how you as an INTJ crave intellectual admiration while we INFJs crave moral admiration. We love to be altruistic and philanthropic because we really care about people but there's also that factor to be perceived as good hearted great person. That validation helps with giving our life purpose and also shutting down Fi critic. Also i want to mention I'm saying all this using "we" word but i don't want to speak for all INFJs because I'm not sure if that's how it is for them as well but i do notice it in them. I wonder why do you care about getting intellectual admiration from others? I didn't know about this need of INTJs. I thought INTJs are ambitious to be greatly successful and competent for the sake of it, to feel good to themselves. I'd like to understand it better why is that important to you to be very successful and competent and how important getting the intellectual admiration you deserve from other people is

@havefun3470 for the sake of it yes, but we hate being misunderstood. We like to feel accepted too, just not as much as most.

Does that help?

Hope you enjoyed the video! ~ Nathan

someone that im in a situationship is an enfp while im an intp. Do you think we might work it out and get to a more stable status like you guys? Or are we going to be stuck in this situationship

@@nazzzemi1401 Wish I knew. We are just exclusive right now but we don't label what we have. We are also long distance so that's that. It's why I'm watching these videos so I can understand how to better things beween us too. I don't know about your ENFP but as an ENFP myself I struggle to understand my INTP person often so he often has to articulate what he needs and his feelings to me. Since I'm very emotinal person and he is not. But to me it helps, maybe try to express what you want and need from your person. I think you do need to realize what you want tho. If you want that person or if you want a relationship. maybe your person might never be able to give you that and you need to realize if you are ok with it or not. My INTP is putting a lot of distance between us but at the same time he is always by my side. Its why Im watching videos like this to understand INTPs and to understand myself. From what people told me, INTP and ENFP relationship is difficult but in my opinion it's very rewarding, but it is surely difficult. Try to communicate with your ENFP about your needs but know that they might be too emotional or will need more explanations, its how its with me and why my INTP gets frustrated with me. Sorry I couldnt help

Ok, after 4 years of reading and learning about MBTI, I'm an ISTJ, the only type I never looked into

The ideal for an INFJ is to mainly be using their Ni as a default as you'd expect, but then dip into their Se in a controlled way. Getting out of the grip of these things is definitely very hard and takes time. Slowly you can integrate your Se after you're through this phase of being in the grip of it ~ Nathan

@@lovewho this is helpful. Thank you ❤️

Yeah😢 Se grip feels very bad. It does more bad than doing good

@@animadas2306 yeah. Infj here. I'm currently in one. Just dissociating from reality daydreaming and using phone, overeating etc. It makes us feel mentally sick, right? The body feels exhausted, mind feels blurry and heavy

"hell on earth" This isn't even like exaggeration. Se grip is literally that bad. Would you like to share some of your experiences? How do you feel in Se grip? How do you struggle?

​@havefun3470 Se grip made me keep interacting and socializing with toxic and poisonous people basically wasting my time and torturing my own mental and spiritual health. On one side, I'm so afraid of meeting them and disgusted with the person I'm becoming when I'm in that place and blending with them. On the other side, when I'm actually in the place with all of them, my brain can't help but see them as drugs and cigarettes and force my entire body to always approach them and hang out with them even though we're like oil and water. (I change constantly between unhealthy ESFP&ENTP when I'm in the environment) All of this results in my grades went downhill so as my behavior, mindset, spiritual&mental health, day-to-day life, etc. And I suffer from the feeling of loneliness when someone I want to befriend (I admire them, they're the reason I still have faith in the society or environment I exist) is already friends with someone else that actually affects them negatively. I realized that I couldn't save everyone. People change. And I realize that I was never meant to be connected with any of them. The place is just a stepping stone where I'm supposed to look at further places and focus on higher purposes while having my body temporarily there to work on it. Nothing is a coincidence and I'm grateful for everything that has happened. Everything has been a great thing to experience, a place for growth, and there are many meanings-insights I've obtained. I actually already know all of these kinds of problems and how to face them etc., but it's just a whole different thing when you experience it in the real world. I mean, I've been isolating myself from people that I feel like it's something new when I meet them *literally all the toxic discord, Twitter, TikTok users spawned in real life Sorry for my English, it's my 3rd here

@@havefun3470 Se grip is a mindless binge, lashing out to do every extreme thing as soon as stress kicks in. My mind has to watch in horror as my body harms itself with food and sex.

I am intending to eventually get around to doing a video talking about the most common enneagram types for each MBTI type. It's probably going to be very long one but one day it will happen ~ Nathan

INFJ?

I relate to this on a spiritual level. Especially the kill part lol. It's hard dealing with people for us because most of them aren't as kind and emotionally intelligent in treating people while we give them almost morally perfect treatment. I think we are same personality type and we know it but i guess it's better not to mention lol

I like the meta nature of this. You stated how you felt! Well played ~ Nathan

Hope you enjoyed it! ~ Nathan

I mentioned something along these lines in a recent video (I think it was about figuring out your type): if you're struggling to figure out your type then typology might not be that useful for you. I would agree that not everyone is going to fit neatly enough into these categories to justify using them ~ Nathan

@@lovewho Breaking down every trait into 4 other than 2 would be significantly more accurate. Introducing new letters would result in 256 types making it unusable but making the letters case sensitive could solve that issue. An INTP with a stronger F like me could become INtP for example. It's not a perfect solution of course but it's something.

@@Dionyzos You might find the "Objective Personality" typing system interesting. They've leaned into that level of subtlety and detail! ~ Nathan

I like your Ne

I'd argue this is a case of missing the forest for the trees. Alternatively maybe your research hasn't led you to the more useful deeper aspects of understanding what typology is and isn't.

I'm sure there's a time travelling Ni dom out there who disagrees ~ Nathan