HOW THE INFJ BALANCES FEMININE & MASCULINE ENERGY TO GET WHAT THEY WANT 

What is your experience with balancing feminine and masculine energy within you?

I was told by my bestie this week that she notices other guys are always jealous of the way I can relate/talk to/get with women because I am not afraid of tapping into my feminine energy, but then she also said they are jealous because I can also be very masculine when it's needed. She said most guys are imbalanced, afraid of women, and hate me because I am not. Balanced I am. I just treat everyone with respect until they show me they don't deserve it.

“Who cares if I’m living in my illusions?” Such a typical response from an INFJ type 😂😂

when Wenzes said it’s even hard for her to be present with her own children… That hit me to my core. This is why she is the truth!

I actually thought about this many times. Just randomly. I was never confused with my sexuality. Then my mom kinda casually said I almost became a lesbian. I was like....was I? Yes, I have my fair share of curiosity (about girls and their female body) but I never really pursue it. That's just me. It has nothing to do with being in the closet or about religion. It was all on me thinking independently. What my mom said made me explore my sexuality (cause the only opinion I care so much are from my family). It came to a point that I identifed myself as bisexual. Cause I fancy both gender. It still felt weird in a way that "bisexual" is I feel like not the right word to identify my sexuality. I couldn't embraced it cause it feels like that's not me. I was casually looking for another term for it. Then I found "Heteroflexible" basically means....mostly straight. Please note that this is a personal thing. I feel most comfortable identifying as Heteroflexible. It speaks to me more. I was casually listening to songs like "If you can't hang" by SWS. The lyrics is ofcourse POV of the guy. I don't change the lyrics to make it into a female's POV. I was fine as it is. Just like MCR's "Black Parade". The lyrics goes "I'm just a man, I'm not a hero, Just a boy, who had to sing this song, Just a man, I'm not a hero, I don't care". Maybe because I could easily put myself in someone's shoes. Lyrics like that never bothered me. I actually embrace it. "I'm just a man", "I'm just a boy". I feel like in my heart I am. There are times I feel like I have 2 sexualities (or two personalities.....make it 3) but it never really bothered me. I'm still feminine but I don't usually show it because of my environment. I'm not even pushing myself to be masculine. It came out naturally when I was small. I idolized my dad before. I like to copy what my parents do. I pretend working. I pretend cooking. I was a very unbothered kid and at the same time, very sensitive. When I watched this video, things started to make sense. Again, this is just a personal thing. I didn't identify to any gender cause....it never bothered me. I knew I am capable of being masculine and feminine. I don't even intend to hide my sexuality. On the outside, I'm more masculine. Most likely because of the things I went and still going through. I want to protect my feminine side until she feels safe enough to come out....which is hard when you built a thick wall for year. There are times I'm anxious about how people perceived me. When some people open up about thinking I'm lesbian, it's not new for me. Yes, I am self cautious how I am perceived but I never tried hiding my masculine side. My feminine side, yes I do hide cause I feel like she is my twin that needs to be protected at all cost. Untill.....someone comes along that will take some of the weight off. Basically masculine enough for me to feel at ease and let my guard down.

I love it I have a lot of masculine energy that help me get through life but now I am slowly getting back to feminine energy that receives

You're videos have helped me make so many positive changes and they are always about things I have been questioning. Thank you for the helpful insights.

I came to this realization about 6 months ago. Ive had a great balance since i was a teenage (now 35). As a man, I am trying to stop suppressing the feminine in public due to societal norms and there is definitely an inner piece that comes with it. As a side note, i have been watching 4-5 of your video a day for the past week and they are changing my life! Im more confident to show people who i really am and the results have been amazing. People are more accepting of me and im starting to not feel like the outcast anymore. I have truly been my own worst enemy and breaking my own chains makes life much more fun and my energy levels are through the roof. Wenzes, you are truly a gift from heaven. Super smart and beautiful. Thank you so much!

I feel the shift in me like a button has been flicked on, I love feminine energy.

Before you can help/influence others, you must help yourself first. That's the balance. But also know this; nobody is always indefinitely in that kind of perfect place; balance is not set in stone. Think it of like walking on a tight rope. That what it feels like keeping balance, quite literally.

Wholeness. Self Acceptance. Confidence. Assertiveness. Challenging self limiting beliefs about how "I'm supposed to be" and what "I'm not supposed to say". There is a balance, or equilibrium, to seek. I can be a bitch, Because I Take Charge Here, but only when it's required, responsibly. - ❤ Anima

Everything is slowly but surely getting into place for me. I started the process 3 years ago, mentally and physically. Changed my mindset, It was not easy. And this subject in particular really is what it's all been about. Because at the end of the day, we are animals, social animals, and we want to belong. As a man, not being accepted by men my entire life because I was different (we all know how), yet accepted by women, but obviously not the way I wanted it to. And now everything has changed, people gravitate around me everywhere I go, it's almost awkward, that my boss always asks my opinion about something that's not even my concern. Women are attracted to me in the good way, and men respect me though they are often baffled because they don't really know why. As you said, and big emphasis on that: "Lead by example", could summarize what I do on a daily basis. And it just works. Get your goals defined in your mind, get fit physically (it really changes everything (it's a positive retroaction loop) and start doing stuff you enjoy.

It's such a change of pace, before it was like don't do this and don't do that.... and now it's like do it, do whatever you want

From a statistical viewpoint, these qualities may be more "masculine" or "feminine." However, I've always found it better to simply practice good, healthy self-examination and find out what's within to work with. Then I can develop it and learn new ways to strengthen it. When I find something that seems negative, I can correct what I can. It often helps to think of the opposite of what my strengths are and know that they're valid, and I can incorporate some new habits into my life don't seem to come easy, but can be done to my benefit. The word "integration" is a good one. To make my adjustments, I (like anyone else) need to use intuition, logic, conscience , good observation, etc. - just to learn about myself and how to grow positively. In my case, I might be developing some qualities that some would call "masculine" or "feminine." Of that, I'm not always sure. So I just go along with the idea that what I'm doing is "feminine" because I'm the one doing it, and I'm female! 🙂 And a guy who is committed to improving his life and learning how to grow - well, it will be "masculine because he's doing it!🙂🙂

I am an INFJ, and I married an ESTP. When things were good it was very good. But after having a child (Who is an INFP) things began to become troubled. The INFJ/ESTP relationship is a peculiar thing. We live in a strange house that is actually two houses put together. I and my son live in one half and my wife lives on the other side. The dynamics are very challenging, but your observations make a lot of sense to me.

Please make a comparative video between the INFJ & ESTP. ❤

Okay, I have been watching this channel for well over a year, and it has changed my life because it has helped me to cut out the distractive energy of other people and better manage my own in a more healthy direction. This is the 1st one I have watched that I am just not tracking on. Personality is one thing. Masculine and feminine are something else, I have never met anyone in my life who doesn't have aspects of both types of energy in various degrees. Why discuss balance in this sense when it is something that comes as natural as breathing or drinking water. When you're thirsty, you drink. You never drown yourself. Perhaps I'm being obtuse here or something. Please elaborate on the subject and the inner ESTP more. Thank you as always, Mrs. Wenzes

This is our most awesome superpower.

I Change outfits and remind myself I'm also feminine, I'm more masculine at work due to the environment and the demands of my work.

Yin & Yang

Be all you can be, in the INFJ; reserve.

I feel like my whole life i had to survive in my masculine energy. I always get hurt operating in my feminine energy unless I'm alone.

Благодарю за ваш труд!

Damn, you always hit topics I've thrown around in my head my entire life, knowing that there's some sort of lesson I need to find in it. And then you present it all fully conceptualized for me to absorb and have available for me to refer back to. Awesome job like always

I gotta say, I just learned what an infj was about 3 weeks ago. Read about it. Realized thats what I am, and I have to tell you how happy I am to have found you. I don't even know you but as a human being i absolutely love you and plan on consuming every video. I'm a 41 year old male who's always felt like a misunderstood wierdo. For once I don't feel so alone.

Yes, this is me. I’ve always chalked up so-called “masculine and feminine energy” as deeply ingrained societal expectations-expectations I didn’t fit and never could. However, it’s been a long time since I’ve cared about fitting in, but that was a long and often unhappy road. Your videos have been very helpful to me. Questions: Does every INFJ have ESTP attributes? Does every MB personality type have a similar corollary? Thanks. 🌺

Wait. I'm constantly self-aware. I don't know how to get off this ship. If you want to get there my way, just marry a narcissist, have a long stressful marriage, then get out of it and spend years recovering. In the end you should be a pretty good ESTP. I'm sure there are other ways. Stress pushes the INFJ to the ESTP side.

I have been told twice this year that I am very much in touch with my feminine side, and I have to admit that I enjoy channeling it. My mom always told me that if I had been a girl, my name would have been Rebecca.

Well, the truth is that men and women - both - have negative reasons. Female sexuality blew me away as a young INFJ and - because I didn't understand it - made me reject this site too. I thought I was crazy. But since I admittedly found it in every woman everywhere, I thought the fault was mine. Much later I learned that it was all true and understood the connections. When it comes to men, there are much worse things to reject. As a young INFJ, I also mirrored many men and what I saw still scares me today. How a male brain develops at a young age is worth considering in many ways, unfortunately in a negative sense. The important thing as an INFJ is to understand that. Recognize both sides. The emotional basis of women and the logic and decision-making basis of men. I don't know if it's important for a society how the neurons connect in women and men. Whether you need to know that exactly. I studied it in great detail as a young INFJ. Coming to the point where you use your external functions to benefit both sides requires something else: understanding and accepting yourself. How can we when no one understands and accepts everything we are? What if our language and intuition itself are foreign to us? If the functions are unknown? Once you have learned the language, the diversity of the language remains. Organs, images, speeches and then, when that is understood, taking care of others too. Difficult, why? We tend to go our own way, whoever deserves the external role, I apply it to the inner circle. Do we have to become leaders because we can? Do we have to become the best scientists because we can? Is it epic to be the best because you can? The truth is, and I have thought about this for a long time, that happiness lies not in power, not in size, but in small things.

On point as usual! 😊

I feel like I have lots of feminine energy and don't like to be in masculine energy very much. Whenever I have to wear a shirt and dress pants for work, I always feel very awkward. I prefer to wear either jeans and a t shirt or a dress. I find it's difficult being a woman in her feminine energy when in today's day in age a lot of men are in their feminine energy and it's rare or almost impossible to meet a man who is in masculine.

Thank you so much!

Thank you. Perfect timing & very very helpful. ❤️

You've done it again! Thank you for the insight.

Thank you ❤❤❤

This is so indightful & helpful. Thanks Wenzes.

Great video! Makes so much sense. Thank you ❤

So helpful ❤thanks for your support 😊😊❤

Thank you Wenzes! This is such a great video! Wow

17:56 I used to believe that I was suffering from a *Religious Trauma* caused by answering the question: 🤔 *What is the difference between truth & reality?* *Truth* is often considered to be something that is in accordance with fact or reality. It's generally seen as a fixed concept that doesn't change, regardless of our personal beliefs or perceptions. For example, the statement "water boils at 100℃ at sea level" is a truth because it's a fact that can be tested and proven. On the other hand, *reality* can be more subjective and can vary from person to person. It's influenced by our perceptions, beliefs, and experiences. For instance, one person's reality might include a belief in a particular religion, while another person's reality might not include that belief. When it comes to religious trauma, it can sometimes occur when there's a conflict between a person's perceived reality (such as their religious beliefs) and what they come to understand as truth. This can lead to cognitive dissonance, which can be distressing and traumatic. Then I learned that I wasn't suffering from a religious trauma, but from existential depression. I then started to investigate what had caused my existential depression and after a year long selfexamination + research I found my answer: 🧠The Default Mode Network (DMN) is a network of brain regions that are active when the individual is not focused on the outside world and the brain is at wakeful rest. It's like the brain's "autopilot" mode, involved in daydreaming, envisioning the future, and retrieving memories. This network might be active when we're pondering the big questions in life or trying to gain insight into our own emotions. On the other hand, Existential Intelligence refers to the sensitivity and capacity to tackle deep questions about human existence, such as the meaning of life, why we die, and how did we get here. Individuals with high existential intelligence are proficient at understanding and contemplating complex existential features of life. While both involve introspection and contemplation, they are not exactly the same. The DMN is a physical network in the brain observed via neuroimaging techniques, while Existential Intelligence is a theoretical construct that is part of a proposed model of multiple intelligences. It's possible that individuals with high Existential Intelligence might have a more active or well-connected DMN, but this would be a question for empirical research. I suffer from existential depression because my Existential Intelligence is too high, meaning that I'm accutely aware that I'm surrounded by Existential Idiots [= people with low to 0 Existential Intelligence] so they'll always choose 💰(or whatever shorttime goal they have) over survival of mankind. Existential Idiots will happily become millionaires by poluting the environment. To me Existential Idiots are to society, what sociopaths/psychopaths are to humanity. I'm drawing a parallel between these 2 types of individuals based on their impact on society & humanity. On 1 hand, you have *psychopaths,* who are often characterized by a lack of empathy and disregard for the feelings and rights of others. On the other hand, you have what I coined *Existential Idiots,* individuals who prioritize short-term gains over long-term consequences, potentially to the detriment of humanity's survival. The lack of empathy and disregard for others' feelings and rights, often associated with psychopaths, can have detrimental effects on society. Similarly, individuals who prioritize short-term gains over long-term consequences, the so-called Existential Idiots, can pose a threat to humanity's survival. It highlights the importance of empathy and long-term thinking in maintaining a healthy society and ensuring the survival of humanity. It also underscores the potential dangers of systems that prioritize short-term gains without considering long-term consequences. However, it's important to remember that people's actions and decisions are often influenced by a complex interplay of factors, including their personal circumstances, societal pressures, and systemic structures. It's crucial to address these underlying issues in order to promote empathy and long-term thinking. In short: *I suffer from existential depression because I'm accutely aware that in my lifetime I'll* *always be outnumbered by Existential Idiots. Unfortunately modernday society does not* *yet recognise the dangers of Existential Idiocy as it has done for psychopathy &* *sociopathy.*

Fun Fact: I am the the greatest make INFJ creative genius in the world. I’m serious 👊🏻

FINALLY!! Someone understands me!!! Wenzes videos are so freeing, so nice to know there are other people out there like me. ❤

Thank you Wenzes I am currently passing thrpugh this change of mindset, decisions and choices to reach “my utopia” which is my Infj home . It’s not as easy as I thought 😢, I think it will never be, but with hope, my infjness ,your channel, my fellow infjs. the journey will be much more interesting ❤

The balance for me came as one word, androgyny. Means both and/or neither gender. It's not something I talked about to others, there was no need because they either couldn't relate or would get triggered. Imagine a conversation with a transgender with the mindset that gender is of no importance.

Great video! Do you have any videos on challenges the infj may face in the workplace?

👏👏👏

This is fascinating as my father is an ESTP so I understand how an ESTP operates and it is relatively easy to emulate it to a certain extent, I'm not sure how easy this is for an INFJ who doesn't have close contact with an ESTP.

Wenzes, could you expand on this more?

Makes total sense. I find it's accurate for me. I've even been told I'm not super masculine. But masculine traits are definitely there. But I believe I carry traits of both. I do see it as balanced. But as a man. I feel like I have to mask the feminine traits. 🤷

I am a INFJ woman and has always felt that men were turned off by me (cant say this is why 100%) and I am a go getter opininated, etc. - Any other INFJ women who have felt more masculine (in how the terms are being used in the video) or has leaned more into assertive thinking/roles?

Rebis.

#91

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My husband is an ESTP. Do you think if both healthy it's good, or is this always a challenging match?

this is really weird when you contrast the fact that people often call us naive... what the hell is wrong with people ?!

infj male here. too feminine. boxing, gym helps a lot.

🌞🌝🤍

Such a joke 😂

The masculine and feminine energy thing is astrology BS. The "energy" can easily just be switched out for "magic". The way masculine and feminine behavior patterns and traits are actually created is one of two ways. 1.) men behave like men, and then we categorize that behavior as masculine. Or women behave like women, and then we categorize that behavior as feminine. 2.) Masculine and Feminine behavior and roles are socially constructed. And people can then share those roles and behavior patterns. In the first case, men don't have feminine "energy", nor do women have masculine "energy". And in the second case, none of this masculine/feminine conversation points even matter. To be more scientifically valid, just avoid the current Zeitgeist of gender "energy", and talk about those specific traits that you categorized into the two groups.

thank you. 🥹