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Femininity: 1 - Accepting; receiving: YOU ARE THE DIVINE FEMININE. YOU ARE THE QUEEN. 2 - Communicating your needs. Speaking Up. RADICAL HONESTY. 3 - Choosing a partner who wants the same Life objectives/values... If you're avoidant, you most likely have said to family members - who had a major role in your childhood: "You only accepted me or liked me when I was happy/obedient/emotionless." This one simple statement fits with ALL the core symptoms of avoidant attachment: 1. Being overly self-reliant (and in doing so, you hide your needs, emotions, problems, and acute illnesses) 2. Pushing down anger until it explodes and manufactures the boundaries you crave but can't always ask for 3. Not wanting to burden others with your problems 4. Wanting to fix your own issues to avoid looking incompetent or even getting bullied and teased/mocked 5. Numbing out emotions with self-soothing behaviors that are either totally unhealthy or pseudo-healthy (like getting addicted to working out and healthy eating) Remember ALWAYS this process is all about YOU!!! Not him. He is just a catalyst. Consider, he may be your twin flame. Look into that. After he initiated your trauma, you're now left to deal with and to heal: all that has come to the surface. GOOD! This is a blessing. Albeit painful. A necessary blessing, nonetheless. HUGE-HUGE gift! Major advice!!! Listen closely!!! NEVER ever CHASE HIM. He will run further and you will lose yourself more. You are the feminine. You are the divine goddess. You just be and approve (or disapprove) whoever comes along. It's a yes: you meet my requirements, or: it's a no, you do not. Be clear on whom you're accepting as a partner and DO NOT settle for less (or you just delay what's meant for you). Accept your struggle, anxiety, fear, sadness. Whatever comes up. It's all human, and in need of your attention. If you push it away, block it, or run from it... You will just have to deal with it later... 1) Put yourself first and foremost! 2) Fall in love with yourself. Be your own dream girl. Glow up and level up. Be the best version of yourself. 3) Rejection is redirection. Embrace the energies of miraculous possibilities. And, Any time you have a painful thought/memory/flashback/worry/belief: 1. Find the belief... 2. Write 11 DISADVANTAGES to having the belief 3. Write 11 ADVANTAGES to having the belief If you can NOT find advantages then that’s EXACTLY why you're stuck!! When you finally see both sides... Your mind will STOP thinking about it 'cause your brain will be rewired. So you gotta keep at it, until you find the positive to the negative... And therefore, ultimately rewire your brain! AND REMEMBER: STOP making it all about manifestation when really, it's actually all about VIBRATION! If you haven't heard today... You are so very loved and you are so very worthy of love. The hardest part is learning to love yourself and to know: it's not all your fault, and to see: that you're beautiful; wonderfully perfectly brilliantly created. You're stronger than most; a true leader/warrior in the making. Keep going and keep thanking. Remember Jesus was an outcast and he suffered more than any human being could ever endure... And the most important message here is to forgive them and to forgive yourself and to love all. Keep walking in truth. One of the great poems of the Zen tradition ends with this description of the awakened state: “To be without suffering over imperfection(s).” AFFIRMATIVE PRAYER: I am one with the Divine. I experience, peace, BLISS, love, and joy: CONSTANTLY AND CONSISTENTLY. I experience everything as grace AND AS LOVE. I am at peace. I honor the Divine within me.
How To Be more feminine : 1- Start accepting, recieving. 2- Comunicating our needs. Speaking Up. 3- Choising a partner who wants the same Life objectifs (starting a family or not …etc)
difficult to receive when uve had to sleep with someone twice against your will because you were charged with being the house-sitter, without being asked, so thought it your duty to protect the family furniture, fittings etc, but then suffered awful social degradation, including from same ppl who volunteered you to be surrogate parent and 'sitter', and psychological pain, as a result.
@@draftcomment2comment232 Sleeping with someone against your will has nothing to do with receiving. It's called rape, and it's a crime. It's absolutely normal to feel psychological pain after such an experience, I hope you can find help, and if possible, report the offender to the police.
@draftcomment2comment232 In the most kind way, I hope that you consider talking to the police and a therapist (if you're not already) vs the internet. Someone forcing you to sleep with them against your will is a crime, and there's not much that we here in the internet comments can do. All the best to you and your healing. 💛🙏🏾
Thats not being feminine. Those things are common sense regardless of gender. Being feminine is the opposite of being masculine. But a woman that knows how to kick ass can still be very much feminine.
In some other interviews she has actually openly admitted she has self-confidence issues and is frequently self-deprecating to sort of pre-emptively appease an expected aggression she has experienced most of her professional life. Which to me is quite heart-breaking because she is very intelligent and well spoken. But apparently in her field if you are those things but ALSO choose to express yourself in an attractive and ladylike way, everyone just automatically assumes you're a bimbo or a slut or whatever. And would frequently treat her very disrespectfully. So she developed mechanisms to work around that and make herself more likeable, but I think it came at the cost of some pretty deep internal self esteem. She's not faking being nice. She's faking NOT being insecure. And thats a sad thing for anyone to have to do. And worse when there's literally NOTHING for her to be insecure about but she still feels that way because of years of abusive treatment...
I understand on the surviving mode, and being tired. I was with a feminine man before, and he doesn’t like to make decisions and take the lead. I ended up leading on everything. In the end, I got exhausted, and we broke up. Being with a masculine partner now, and I let him lead (He is happy to lead), and I am so peaceful and happy. When I don’t have to think of our next step all the time, I have sometime to think about the next step for myself. ❤️
I like Sadia because she mentions that she has made the same mistakes too. She is relatable and not pretending she gets it right all the time herself ❤
I have both energy ,I am brutally feminine soft woman ,I can go from one extreme to another in a second! I know my power ! Depends on the situation and work I’m doing
@123smarties Have you ever seen a bear protecting her cub? Now, if the Bible warns you that there is no comparison between said bear and a woman scorned, why would feminine and brutal not belong in the same sentence? I can be feminine and still handle myself with grace and hands.
@@123smartiesI'm sorry, but in life, a woman's gotta be extreme at times. If she's just soft and feminine in specific situations, lifes gonna eat her up
Love your encouragment to hold true for what you need and your value. So many people sacrifice and drop their standards because they feel starved of love. Keep reinforcing your own self worth and your own self love and don't accept crumbs !! xx
I love Sadia! I’m a teacher too, but sadly even when I was in middle school I saw so many girls talk like men(curse) and physically fight with other females. Femininity is not weakness ❤
Femininity is a social construct. Even in nature females fight each other. To say women shouldn't curse or fight just because of biology is foolish. Women have feelings and we're not perfect. I think it's unfair males get to make mistakes and we brand it as boys will be boys, but we act as if girls have to be perfect all the time. Then considering how hard men have made this society not showing assertiveness will place you at a disadvantage. In some cases what femininity has been packaged as has put women at a disadvantage and in some very dangerous situations too.
You’re right, “femininity is not a weakness”, but society thinks it is. Consider the phrase, “don’t be a p*ssy!” that a lot men use against each other-since that word is used to name a part of the female anatomy, I think that translates to don’t be a female/weak/woman.
I once saw a quote on FB. It said "Women are not here to do what men can do, we are here to do what men can't do." I thought that was interesting. It seems the concepts of masculinity and femininity have both become very twisted and tied up into a Gordian knot in our culture. It has become very difficult to unravel. This could become a very long post but I will try and be concise. Somewhere along the line women were brainwashed into thinking that nurturing was analogous to being subservient or servile which was somehow seen as "less than." Of course there are many things that men and women can BOTH do, but I think the point of the quote was thought provoking. Men have really been painted into a corner too. Many of the inherently masculine characteristics are now being termed "toxic." Certainly the negative interpretations of this may be true, particularly for men themselves. If you haven't read it, I recommend The Hazards of Being Male. The positive manifestations of masculinity and femininity both should be embraced, encouraged and celebrated. I think the beginning of the problem started with the assumption of gender roles being the ONLY choice for men and women and that they had to be very rigid and were used to force people into molds that were not natural to them but were promoted as being the only acceptable societal choice. Many people are quite happy in embracing traditional gender roles as delineated in Western society. Not everyone is, and we all need to find (or make) our own place in the world. When certain psychological characteristics were determined to be masculine or feminine, it caused a divide. We all have both kinds of characteristics to a greater or lesser degree. I am pretty much a tomboy but loving and nurturing people and animals comes very naturally to me and I embrace it as the best part of myself. I became a caregiver, nursing assistant and mental health therapy tech. I love the part about anticipating needs - very important in both personal and business relationships. Customers like to feel nurtured and cared for too. One comment on the pleasure part mentioned in this video. Pleasure is not the same as happiness. Dr.Robert Lustig's Pleasure vs Happiness videos are wonderful and say it much better than I can- long versions and short versions both available on RU-vid.
I think conservative religion, any conservative religion, has played a big part in making the roles very rigid with women on the losing end. As for masculine traits, those labeled toxic are the ones that insecure, emotionally troubled, or narcissistic men use such as being domineering and putting down women and wanting to control them.
If your man is a narcissist, telling him your needs he will us them against you. I always told my ex, but he would exploit it and cause me pain. This tip of communicating a need works with a normal man.
Yes, at my workplace, people say.. I am too good,too, carrying to kind,too nice.., I can hear people think I am weak because of this....I can't change, and I won't ......maybe I just have to have more boundaries...
Wow u definitely good Sadia beta. I am a grandmother and our generation was definitely very different from todays. We were patient loving caring and very considerate and made life changing compromises!!! ❤
Sadia you seem to be such a beautiful human being, inside and out. Thank you for making this content and for making an emphasis about the importance of bridging the gap between men and women. Much love
There is something unique about Sadia when she speaks. It feels like she is the peoples emotions. She is able to articulate exactly what our needs and emotions try to tell us.
No she’s not. She told me I should be hit harder. She is not the peoples emotions. She has no credentials. She publicly condoned domestic violence in her very public comments
As I raised myself and become a strong woman, i forgot to be feminine. And it has a huge impact to my relationships. I didnt realized that until I listened to podcasts about how to be feminine. And it is for us ourselves as a woman, not actually for others/ partners.
Femininity, to me, is stepping into the fullest expression of yourself. That's subjective. ❤ I think there's some confusion among others as we embrace our natural self and identities because from the outside, it may seem more masculine for some. For me, I'm hyper feminine. For others, their truest self may not.
What you really meant was this: "I would love to date a woman like her". And that's great. It's normal and healthy. What's not normal and not healthy is telling half of the population of the world that they should try and imitate a woman you fancy.
I strive to be a traditional woman. I want to be confident and secure in myself enough to just receive like how you are saying. I always feel like a burden and am predominantly unable to receive from others. I'm terrified of hipotheticly, let's say someone I love feeling like I just want to use them. Guys, offer me help all the time, but I fight it. I think it has hurt their feelings. I'm going to try to be more open tword help. It's one of the most difficult things for me. I don't think it's hard because of my pride, I think it's difficult because I'm scared. It's so confusing.
And what about men who reject all of these traits- they dont want to give so you can’t receive , they dont want you to be helpless so you have to help yourself, and they dont even want you to cook or clean because they can do it themselves. A lot of men are setting up women to be more masculine because they are rejecting traditional responsibility over their partner and dont want the stress. We blame female empowerment but there’s a lot of disempowerment from men
@@happilydivorced3235 i know, such a weird thing for a man to want. And i can't believe that there are people who would actually NOT want an adult man who can fend for themselves, instead actively seek out a man-child 😂😂
Pay attention to your childhood time, since everything stems from that time. If you were made feel guilty if you can't do something or you are not willing since it doesn't make sense for you, you will have problems with setting boundaries later. If you were rejected or unheard you will have problems with asking for help. Boundaries and help is what I learn now
Masculine energy is giving and feminine energy is receiving. Unfortunately, a lot of women, myself included were/are stuck on the idea we need to learn how to do it all so we do not rely on a man. It is then taken to the extreme and makes you impenetrable when a man tries to give. We are human beings and human connection is crucial for us to thrive so let's stop pushing either other way and live in a better balance of masculine and feminine energy. :)
Communication is key for all relationships to last.. don't expect everyone or anybody to know whats on your mind. It builds you your needs boundaries your worth.
This is the why people are stuck in illusions. Energy is energy and we are whom we are. Even when we are female to be balanced means we also have masculine energy for we came from male and female. In different experiences and times we draw more so on other energies than others and other times we become more of one than the other but we are both. We don’t need to be taught what is “feminine” by society’s ideals nor another person, for we are all unique. Be you, by whom you were meant to be, not whom others tell you or want to box you in as.
I agree with her so much. I love being feminine. I have never agreed with society telling women so many things I don’t agree with. And I feel like I am very happy with that and see a lot of friends trying to fight against this belief that are not happy at all. So true love this woman. I hope a lot more listen to this. Happy Thursday everyone 🥰💃
@@happilydivorced3235codependency isn’t toxic, but is labeled as such in todays world and since the 60/s 70/s. This label is now assigned to people who are together but don’t want to be and who don’t understand their role in a relationship.
I agree. Well I agree with some of the energy that comes from the likes of just pearly, it comes off as being rather misogynistic compared to this energy.
Glad I watched this clip. Dating again now in my 40s I know that I do want a feminine woman. But I’ve been on many dates where women ask me what that means. I found it odd that I would have to explain it, but then realized I really don’t know what it means either.
Another way you could communicate that desire is by saying something like, “I would like to provide a safe and secure environment for you to let go and flow in your soft feminine essence.”
@@Meltyfairy Very well said. Most women enjoy being feminine, but femininity is often a response to the environment, not a default position. It cannot be, because we live in a world that doesn't encourage femininity.
Who would you rather date? A woman who comes with a list of traits that she's expecting you to fit into? Or someone who says something along these lines: I am interested in getting to know you. I am looking forward to discovering your own unique strengths and I am prepared to value, cherish and respect you for what you as an individual have to offer. I have a feeling you wouldn't want to be treated and examined like a car that your date is thinking of buying. Don't be that kind of person, it's a massive turn off.
Something I struggle with in my femininity is being assertive. I tend to try to keep it classy and not stoop to someones level but I find that after the fact I feel frustrated because it feels like in a way I've allowed someone to step on my character and demean my power. How do you manage to remain graceful but also enforce boundaries?
FFS who needs advice on how to be feminine? For centuries women have been told what to do and how to be, mainly to fit the expectations of the more dominant part of society. I want to have the right to be me. Whether you like it or not, whether you find it sexually appealing or not. It's not my problem, because I don't exist to please you.
Did she give an example of how to communicate needs without sounding needy or critical? Men tend to not like being criticized and do the opposite of what told.
Instead of “You never get me flowers” say “Babe I love flowers, I would love to receive some soon” hope that helps (i always communicate my needs and desires using “I” sentences)
But why is she single if she has such great advice? Then it is very hard for her to find her soulmate just as she describes by the end? About not compromising?
I learned to reject my femininity because the men in my life acted like it was stupid. Especially in sexuality where because of my looks people feel like I’m playing a part that only women that look like the woman in this video are worthy of having. It is sad that she is also expected to be something else also. It is difficult to find a man that isn’t looking for someone to be his mom, boyfriend or gold-digger (it’s easier to throw money at someone than to love them).
A lot of men are as manipulative as women and even bitchier - bad women have taught men how to treat them in modern times. Men don't want to lose their money in a divorce today so they don't marry and some even get the snip so they can't be done for child maintenance. We live in different times. Best solution, "do you", be the best version of you and don't go looking for something in someone else, make sure you're that something that is missing.
The "prediction" thing (2:50) can also be a programm from childhood - People pleasing or also called fawning. If you do that to the wrong men (narcissists or emotionally crippled/unavailable men) it will make you feel lonely and sad. Not everyone deserves loving gestures and attention- thats where girls and women need healthy mentorship and maybe even trauma therapy.
