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How to Always Be in Control of Your Anger - Jocko Willink 

Jocko Podcast
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From JOCKO PODCAST 61.
Join the Conversation on Twitter: @jockowillink @echocharles

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19 авг 2024

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Комментарии : 1 тыс.   
@reason1925
@reason1925 3 года назад
"Losing your temper," is the weakness. Not becoming angry. I have to remind myself of that. It's what I decide to do with the anger that counts. It's my responsibility to make the right choices.
@DzanNochke
@DzanNochke 2 года назад
THIS. I watched this vid, then read through these comments, and while most here claim anger is a weakness, it's the uncontrolled aimless temper that causes problems, not just socially but shaking, hurting friends physically, immune system collapse, fatigue, memory blank, muscular atrophy over repeat use of adrenaline, sleep loss, and more. Controlled, focused, regulated anger is any animal/human superpower, even if temporary. It must be practiced, trained, harnessed in only the most dire circumstances, and ultimately... Learn to meditate to undo the effects of cortisol surge.
@andrereloaded1425
@andrereloaded1425 2 года назад
I dig this comment.
@NMbones98
@NMbones98 2 года назад
I totally agree with this
@Koldatt
@Koldatt 2 года назад
Precisely
@NMbones98
@NMbones98 2 года назад
@Goku Black yes channel that anger into something constructive that's what I do
@michaellapierre1244
@michaellapierre1244 3 года назад
When people raise their voice to me I have learned to think: The louder they yell, the more afraid they are. People raise their voice because they feel like they are losing their power. True courage is being able to stand there, eye to eye, and honestly say what needs to be said. Jocko has a great perspective.
@thestrengthreport7517
@thestrengthreport7517 3 года назад
Or they just don't respect you and think they can say anything they want to you. This type of shit happens in the workplace alot, what you say is true but there are certain situations that need to be checked right away.
@JonathanVachon777
@JonathanVachon777 Год назад
yah no always, sometimes you raise your voice because you keep inside and try to keep cool for WAY too long and you explodes
@satvindersihra9038
@satvindersihra9038 Год назад
@@thestrengthreport7517 how do you check situations without lashing out? Because those are the aggravating situations.
@saltminer4463
@saltminer4463 11 месяцев назад
Yeah someone who yells at you doesn’t respect you they aren’t afraid of you lmao
@EddieLeal
@EddieLeal 5 лет назад
"Temper's the one thing you cant get rid of, by losing it. " - Dr. Buddy Rydell (Anger Management.) ;)
@ProHater1
@ProHater1 4 года назад
Tell that to my ex
@gchan1137
@gchan1137 3 года назад
Thankyou for this. I hope to make something useful too. so I tried my best to make this www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/66035129?asc=u I will be happy if you give me suggestions so that I can do better. thanks. hehe ^^
@forza-kr4bx
@forza-kr4bx 3 года назад
Great riddle
@markjohnson4643
@markjohnson4643 3 года назад
Ask Dr. buddy rydell, why anyone would want to get rid of their temper in the first place?
@olibarahosasa1137
@olibarahosasa1137 4 месяца назад
Great line out of a crap movie
@damianrosa5334
@damianrosa5334 7 лет назад
THANK YOU Jocko! I am a Marine grunt and was driving to work this morning with my wife, I listen to your podcast Evey day as I drive. Me and my wife found this podcast very help and interesting as I am an intense individual (or so I've been told) The video had just ended and a wild young punk driver engaged in some rather intense road rage with me. I did my best not to get into it with him especially while driving. He then pulled up next to me and threw a coffee mug at my car, hitting my car. Instead of following him and caving in his face, as I very much wanted to, I took a picture of his lisnce plate and called it in to San Diego's PD. Thank you again for the wise words and guidance on when to battle and when not to. Helps alot with life as a warrior.
@damianrosa5334
@damianrosa5334 7 лет назад
Please excuse my awful spelling.
@Max-nu1bd
@Max-nu1bd 7 лет назад
Damian Rosa Damn, that takes a lot of Discipline and self control to avoid that kind of confrontation, but it definitely saved both parties from a very dark day. I'll remember both video and your comment next time I hit the road
@Nobody-vz9ni
@Nobody-vz9ni 7 лет назад
Damian Rosa don't lie you were to scared to chase him
@zang9147
@zang9147 6 лет назад
Were you watching a video while driving?
@dannyboi162
@dannyboi162 6 лет назад
People are so afraid of confrontation. I get the point not to be stupid but if you rely on others too much you lose that edge to will to action. I've seen it so many times. 'punk acts hard, mouths off, wants to fight until he is hit' then I'm calling the police.
@sweetazn208
@sweetazn208 5 лет назад
"Anger is a sign of weakness" i like that
@MIbra96
@MIbra96 4 года назад
Anger itself isn't. Losing control over it, just as with other emotions, is weakness.
@dafunkmonster
@dafunkmonster 4 года назад
*Losing your temper is a sign of weakness
@theexplorer7139
@theexplorer7139 4 года назад
@@dafunkmonster yep. I've seen young and old guys freak out and get in people's face. I see it as weakness now.
@ark1349
@ark1349 4 года назад
@Darren Jackson good for you bro
@ark1349
@ark1349 4 года назад
One option is trying to channel that anger.
@susiesa8295
@susiesa8295 2 года назад
i literally live everyday angry and it is tiring and exhausting. my problem is not being able to control myself against people who want to push my buttons
@bassinblue
@bassinblue Год назад
I’m literally going through what you’re going through. People push my buttons too, I legit feel disrespected by everyone when I’ve done literally nothing. Here’s what I’ve learnt. Humans are by no means civilised. You still have to fight and stand your ground for people, yes, even your own family to respect you. It’s fucked, but that’s honestly the way it is. I personally have joined a Muay Thai gym, changing my outlook on life and trying to stay calm, but release my anger when I want to, not when they say it so. End of the day, fuck them, fuck them all. You are a good person who’s a victim of this sick sadistic world. Please be strong and stay strong, change your environment, because peace of mind is worth it, no matter how much you have to spend or lose.
@harryl9yearsago788
@harryl9yearsago788 Год назад
@@bassinblue thank you brother, This is my life
@faithschlesinger3839
@faithschlesinger3839 Год назад
That’s why most of us are here watching this video I’m so tired of others having more control over my emotions than I do
@Nezfitness777
@Nezfitness777 Год назад
​@@bassinblue i agree except for the victim part, never be a victim to your circumstances.. you will develop an entitled victim mentality trust me I would know..
@kevinschindele4829
@kevinschindele4829 Год назад
It's even harder when that person is your spouse.
@infinityking5869
@infinityking5869 2 года назад
I hate blowing up especially when I’m in the wrong thank you for helping us men wanting to better ourselves
@christinajay8696
@christinajay8696 3 месяца назад
Men gezzzz I’m a female and listening to this.
@AD-ot5ok
@AD-ot5ok 2 месяца назад
I really destroyed so many things with my anger and I keep falling for it 😢
@onlyrick
@onlyrick 6 лет назад
Man, I was in my thirties before I started to realize that losing my temper was weakness rather than strength. I really think I would have learned sooner if I'd had it explained in this way. You're doing a good thing, JW. Keep it up and Be Cool.
@danielbianchi2246
@danielbianchi2246 4 года назад
Truth
@Jayhawk_Nation
@Jayhawk_Nation 2 года назад
@Emmanuel Goldstein Your so right dood.
@graspra2323
@graspra2323 Год назад
@@emmanuelgoldstein8534Just because you can't control yourself doesn't mean others can't. Ask God for help with your anger while truly wanting to change and he'll help you.
@JensSchraeder
@JensSchraeder 17 дней назад
Dude. Im 51 and I just realized it. After almost losing my family because of my rage. If I don’t get help they will leave. Losing your temper is weakness. I like that statement.
@midnightaustin9287
@midnightaustin9287 6 лет назад
my childhood is rough i got beat alot, my parent have their thinking that they r god that i can never be right im always wrong, im 22 now i still have anger issues till today, after watching this videos, i kinda get the idea that acuatlly anger is my weakness, exploding to everyhting is wrong! thx
@bdb2329
@bdb2329 5 лет назад
Colin Weir I read your reply to this young guy, which was great advice, The nugget of wisdom at the end of your reply is the reason for my reply, I wrote that down and am about to expound on it in my journal Thanks
@PaulO-we1lt
@PaulO-we1lt 4 года назад
I had the same with my parents. I was beaten, receiving black and blue asses. Hair ripped out of my head, slapped across the face with blood flying to the basement ceiling. Called names, my mom said many times, I hate you and I wish I never had you. I HAD anger issues. I am 58 years old. I did a lot of counseling. I read a book, titled Anger men and the women who love them, written by Paul Hedgestrom. A life story was done about him. Very powerful movie. He started a counseling program that I attended. It was his book and counseling program that changed my life. I started the program when I was 40. I am still counseling today with self improvement books videos like Jocko's. Order of man, and George Bruno. I divorced, fixed myself and continue. I remarried and blessed with an OMG, an outstanding wife now of 13 years. My parents are still living 93 and 81 years old. I love them dearly and have always. But, when I was 40 I told them that I had enough bullshit from them. My father was going to do something to my young son that I very much hated, this act that he was trying to do, he thought it would be funny. I stood up and told my father that if he would do that to my son I would beat the fuck out of him and I said to my mother that I had enough of her shit. I said to both that if their actions continue, they would never see me or their grandchildren again. Since then, I have a outstanding relationship with both. I love them dearly. I feel your hurt, it is not easy. I have always had faith, I had to figure out me and take charge of myself, set boundaries and protect them. You can fix yourself for you and nobody else. I found out that "I" am the most important thing. Then I can put my wife and then kids. Power up, you can fix yourself and when you do you will like "You". A Blessing to you, my heartfelt friend! Paul
@LitoGeorge
@LitoGeorge 4 года назад
@@PaulO-we1lt beautifully written
@danielbianchi2246
@danielbianchi2246 4 года назад
Midnight Austin My Dad beat me with such rage on a regular basis that I snapped on him! I was 17yrs old, he was about to take his belt off & had me cornered in the upstairs berm! My Mom used to sick him on me over the most tribal things! So I told him, point blank if he took 1 step forward I was going to beat him to death& through him out the window & next I was going to do the same to my Mother! I was 200lbs& I new that I had been in so many fights that it would of been over in a blink of an eye!He put his belt back on & they both went down stairs! When came home that night all my clothes were in a box, I used to carry so much Rage I new if I didn’t seek professional help that I would definitely end up in prison 4 life! I’m proud to say that I put all my effort into changing my entire personality, read every book on self help etc! My PT S D will never leave me, but I encourage u to get some serious professional help my friend! All my counselors were amazed that luckily I didn’t take the other road that would have been life in prison! PS, The beating were so severe that on occasions they thought I was dead! Only sharing this to try & help u make the right choice & get help before it’s to late! Blessings
@abdulmuizarifin9611
@abdulmuizarifin9611 4 года назад
Been there brother..its a lifetime practise to stay out of anger..
@jpd782
@jpd782 7 лет назад
I wasn't able to to control my anger until I was in my late 30's and became a parent for the first time. Before that, I'd fly off the handle over anything. I never hurt anyone physically. But I'd throw stuff across the room. Etc. Having kids made me have that patience.
@theoneanton
@theoneanton 6 лет назад
jpd782 it reversed for me!
@gchan1137
@gchan1137 3 года назад
Thankyou for this. I hope to make something useful too. so I tried my best to make this www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/66035129?asc=u I will be happy if you give me suggestions so that I can do better. thanks. hehe ^^
@georgezazueta61
@georgezazueta61 10 месяцев назад
How were you able to do it?????
@Senor0Droolcup
@Senor0Droolcup 7 лет назад
Thank you, Jocko. I'm going to watch this with my 11yr old son. This is great.
@cyndirymer7068
@cyndirymer7068 7 лет назад
Yes, going to watch it with my 14-year-old nephew.
@ReyShady05
@ReyShady05 7 лет назад
Brian L. I need to watch this with my 59 year old dad
@ajaxSAF
@ajaxSAF 5 лет назад
Check out Way of the Warrior Kid and its sequel!
@DysmasTheGoodThief
@DysmasTheGoodThief 4 года назад
Good fathers errywhere
@daveboi634
@daveboi634 2 года назад
These small videos are a reminder to always humble yourself. I love it.
@polreamonn
@polreamonn 6 месяцев назад
Anger is one letter away from Danger, as they say.
@BrumeNoire
@BrumeNoire 3 года назад
I had a very unstable childhood which led me to have this constant anger inside me and I just can't control my nerves like whenever I get really angry for whatever reason it comes to a point my whole body is shaking like crazy. Your advice is simple yet it did just happen to calm me down because I was angry just now and I'm getting sick of this anger. Thank you.
@caseyjones5145
@caseyjones5145 2 года назад
Dude same. I feel like a food processor somebody left on inside me, Bill burr said "its easy to get to 100 when youre idle at 75" & thats me. Tiny things piss me off & then the farris wheel starts. Next thing I know 3 hours have passed. Its exausting to just feel like this. Sometimes I get scared of what I might do on impulse.
@mel...s
@mel...s Год назад
My head is currently pounding from all the anger I feel. My childhood too shaped me into a very scared/angry human. I'm always scared. And the anger just boils over at the slightest trigger This video did not help me much. I already know my anger is a big sign of weakness. I'm considering electric shock therapy to treat my major depression, PTSD and anger
@JWill216
@JWill216 3 месяца назад
Same as the gym, your strength is greatest when you are in control of yourself & the weight you're lifting.
@metalrocks999
@metalrocks999 7 лет назад
Your podcast has honestly changed my life. thank you for everything you do.
@davidplyler8173
@davidplyler8173 2 года назад
He's a hell of a teacher.
@bentonja668
@bentonja668 4 года назад
I had a horrific temper in my teens into my 30's and eventually I couldn't even really physically withstand the anger (it made me physically ill as I got older). I would go from a 0 to a 10 in 1 second with nothing in between. Incredible Hulk seeing red tunnel vision type of anger. Thankfully I am not violent or I would probably be in prison. Eventually I could control my anger to the point that I didn't get past a 5 or a 6, which was still pretty bad overall compared to other people. I have been practicing meditation for about 10 years and Wim Hof breathing for 3+ years and what I have noticed is that every single time I am about to act out in anger, I stop breathing. Every time. Because of my experiences with meditation and breathing exercises I am aware of my breath most of the time and as soon as I realize that I have stopped breathing this is my sign to stop whatever I am doing and focus on breathing and also focus on my thoughts moreso than emotions (in normal life I am more disposed to thoughts than to emotions). What I have found is that I still feel angry, but I am able to avoid acting or speaking out of the anger and I don't get the adrenaline dump and I am able to carefully choose my words and actions. And the anger passes in short order.
@Forgivemankind
@Forgivemankind Год назад
Thank you for sharing im currently going through the same thing you went through the exact words you used Incredible Hulk im shamed of my actions that I display to my family and my partner and the outside world , i scream like the hulk I smash things and start banging doors .
@DelEast740
@DelEast740 Год назад
I feel you. When I wake up in the morning I am on edge. I've been dealing with an explosive temper since I was a little child. When I was five I punched out a couple window panes in my kitchen. I would fight anybody at the drop of a hat. My dad had a bad temper, my grandfather had a wicked temper, my great-grandfather's temper was biblical. Mine is worse than my father's and probably worse than my grandfather's according to my uncle.
@123lxxx6
@123lxxx6 Год назад
​@@DelEast740get yo brain checked out
@anthonyreed480
@anthonyreed480 10 месяцев назад
​@DelEast740 You're a loser, so was your dad, and his dad lol.
@DanceswithCoreans
@DanceswithCoreans 10 месяцев назад
​@Forgivemankind I relate. My partner basically told me if I ever yell again, it's over. I gotta get my head right.
@spencerhall7157
@spencerhall7157 7 лет назад
I pray to God I never see Jocko nodding his head.
@ZandMb
@ZandMb 4 года назад
Spencer Hall praise God for Jocko period!
@timeisonmyside3136
@timeisonmyside3136 3 года назад
Was this meant to be a naughty joke?
@low-budgefudge2164
@low-budgefudge2164 3 года назад
@@timeisonmyside3136 What? No. Jocko in the video said "When I get angry I start nodding my head" the joke is: they don't want to see Jocko nodding his head cause that means he's mad. And they don't want to make someone as tough and cool as Jocko mad.
@user-vc5rp7nf8f
@user-vc5rp7nf8f 3 года назад
that'll probably be the last thing you ever see
@southerngentleman2516
@southerngentleman2516 3 года назад
Yeah right I can tell he has probably lost his temp alot before he figured it out. But people probaly scared of him anyway. Real intimidating guy lol
@Trd777jg
@Trd777jg 7 лет назад
Man, the consistence of the value of each video is crazyy
@rebeccacaraska4112
@rebeccacaraska4112 4 года назад
He's a man of integrity.
@EasyBreezie
@EasyBreezie 4 года назад
Thank you.
@XdgamehackerXd
@XdgamehackerXd 3 года назад
Right
@aw-g
@aw-g 3 года назад
You're welcome
@jetnick3576
@jetnick3576 6 лет назад
I’m a former Air Force pilot and present day airline pilot. ....and I cannot believe how helpful I find your videos in dealing with the everyday issues associated with my job. Thank you.
@CedenoJose
@CedenoJose Год назад
Psychedelic's definitely have potential to deal with mental health symptoms like anxiety and depression, I would like to try them again but it's just so hard to source here.
@jabulanismith5772
@jabulanismith5772 Год назад
I have researched and found out that shrooms are very helpful , it has really helps to reduce anxiety and depression . I would love to try magic mushrooms but I can't easily get some , Is there any realiable source I can purchase one
@AlirioArteaga
@AlirioArteaga Год назад
The Trips I've been having have really helped me a lot,I finally feel in control of my emotions and my future and things that used to be mundane to me now seem incredible and full of nuance on top of that I'm way less driven by my ego and I have alot more empathy as well
@QuekCheung
@QuekCheung Год назад
Came across the comments about Sporeville and I must say he is a genius.
@ElianaBravo-hr3qk
@ElianaBravo-hr3qk Год назад
Does Sporeville ship?
@StoneLogan-dq5hr
@StoneLogan-dq5hr Год назад
Tripping is not really bad but find a good mycologist Who will teach you the right things you need to know
@XxSnipeNationxX
@XxSnipeNationxX Год назад
This one hit me deep 😢. Ever since I was a baby my doctors always told me that I had the “red headed anger” in me. For obvious reasons. I don’t know why I lose it or what EXACTLY are my triggers but it’s bad when it’s bad. Then I think about it for weeks and weeks sometimes months, just depressed about the situation and how I handled it, on top of whatever I’m currently mad about currently. Wish I had the answer and wish I had more strength to get after and attack my emotions. I know I’m not alone and I wish everyone finds that strength in them. 💪 Thanks for letting me vent
@bernieb5214
@bernieb5214 3 года назад
Currently in a mess and pushed people away because of my anger. I’ve never thought of it as a weakness and honestly thinking of it like that has put a lot of things into perspective. I will not lose control again and make things better. Time to turn things around.
@apexartist9618
@apexartist9618 2 года назад
Not controlling anger is a sign of weakness. But anger is your greatest emotion. It’s just as good and important as love.
@apexartist9618
@apexartist9618 2 года назад
Just like not controlling how you love and who you love can be dangerous and self destructive
@Anthony-jp2zm
@Anthony-jp2zm 3 года назад
I watched a bunch of vids on how to conquer anger, from Jordan Peterson to Sadhguru to Rogan and more, but none did it for me, except this one. “Anger is a sign of weakness.” Those are the exact words I needed to hear. Like a revelation. Thank you, Jocko 🙏🏻
@nathanielbeardon8818
@nathanielbeardon8818 2 года назад
My 16 year old self sitting here dealing with an annoying car maintenance problem that I can’t fix myself, found myself throwing tools and even the urge smash my window with a wrench. I stopped, sat in the car, opened RU-vid and this was the first thing I saw. Thank you
@josh474
@josh474 4 года назад
Theres nothing more dangerous than a man that can control his emotions
@Dman9fp
@Dman9fp 3 года назад
Depends how you define dangerous. Dangerous good, yes
@TheWelchProductions
@TheWelchProductions 2 года назад
No, actually, the opposite is true.
@blackpilledchad1927
@blackpilledchad1927 2 года назад
You're too deep in these superman bullshiii. A dude that can control his emotion is not a threat, he just lives a more pacific life that's it
@jessetrueba9578
@jessetrueba9578 Год назад
you mean can't right?
@manual1796
@manual1796 Год назад
Dangerous in a bad way you mean, where he hurts good people and becomes a piece of shit. Being able to control your emotions makes you dangerous. When you truely have a reason to be angry you are like a weapon
@Abyss.Walker
@Abyss.Walker Год назад
I think the main problem I have that really gets under my skin where I cannot control my temper is whenever somebody doesn’t understand me, there would be often times where I would say something and the person on the opposite side, their perception they would observe that message and almost replace the words out of my mouth and that’s when I begin to get enraged and attempt to make them understand that whatever I said or did was not an intentional act to alter their emotions. I’ve tried keeping my cool but it’s just so difficult however this video really helped me realise anger isn’t to show strength, it’s not showing resilience, it’s exploiting weakness however controlling that emotion is empowering, and it’s just better to let it go.
@KeithDvorak
@KeithDvorak 6 лет назад
Who knew a nod could be so terrifying!
@workhardinvestharder
@workhardinvestharder 17 дней назад
Thank you I carry quote. Anger is power. All the way through I’m 21 years old today I refuse to be weak. I refuse to ever lose my anger again.
@SKBottom
@SKBottom 5 лет назад
I always feel like an ass after I blow my top. Like I have failed, even if it was justified.
@richardhammer187
@richardhammer187 4 года назад
Likewise, I immediately regret doing it.
@peterwalsh5068
@peterwalsh5068 3 года назад
Totally man, I know that feeling!
@tonyromano6220
@tonyromano6220 3 года назад
Yes sir, it gets worse with age.
@westofeden23
@westofeden23 2 года назад
Always. It's been a lifelong battle for me.
@MW-vw7ng
@MW-vw7ng 2 года назад
💯💯
@malicmarrow4726
@malicmarrow4726 Год назад
I’m 18 with a dad that has temper… I’m glad I discovered this idea when I was 16-17 and I’m just here to say thank you for solidifying this statement and actually to some degree helping be see my anger in my self and controlling the frustration build up
@tomnerva1586
@tomnerva1586 7 лет назад
Great words. Lashing out in anger is never a wise choice. We often end up apologizing for our actions afterward, feeling ashamed for what we've said or done in our bout of rage, especially if our anger has been directed toward a loved one. It can even lead to murder. Subsequently spending the rest of our lives in prison, paying with the remaining years of our life for a momentary emotion that we will likely not even remember years from now. Uncontrolled anger (and really a lack of control of our emotions in general) is an unskillful quality to have, and is detrimental to your health and well being.
@Jarbones
@Jarbones 3 года назад
Anger is just human. You got it right at the end though; losing control is a weakness. You can’t become strong enough to not have anger, but you can keep control. I’m sure that’s what you meant. Thank you, sir.
@LRock-um8xo
@LRock-um8xo 7 лет назад
As the saying goes " He who gets mad first, loses."
@gchan1137
@gchan1137 3 года назад
Thankyou for this. I hope to make something useful too. so I tried my best to make this www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/66035129?asc=u I will be happy if you give me suggestions so that I can do better. thanks. hehe ^^
@TheFracturedfuture
@TheFracturedfuture 3 года назад
Not if they knock you the fuck out.
@jacksquatt6082
@jacksquatt6082 3 года назад
"He who draws his gun first, wins."
@xObscureMars
@xObscureMars 5 лет назад
12 sessions of Anger Management right there
@gchan1137
@gchan1137 3 года назад
Thankyou for this. I hope to make something useful too. so I tried my best to make this www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/66035129?asc=u I will be happy if you give me suggestions so that I can do better. thanks. hehe ^^
@Jessica-fr4im
@Jessica-fr4im Год назад
I have had anger issues my entire life. So yesterday I watched a video to help me take control of my emotions because I had a realization that I was the cause of everything that triggered me. So I did a personal mental exercise and immediately saw changes all around me. Then I was faced with some things that triggered it again at the end of my day. Everything that has ever bothered me all popped up at once and there I was defenseless which brought about more anger and resentment. I guess I am trying to find the connection of why, when I am trying to work on myself. It's hard to get back to that place mentally where things are positive. But I will keep trying
@sophied23.
@sophied23. 3 года назад
0:27-0:50 is exactly how my dad thinks. Anger and threats make him feel like he has power. It’s awful. I really needed this for myself too. Anger is weakness!!!!!
@MicahBuzanANIMATION
@MicahBuzanANIMATION 4 года назад
Listening to this as I'm in an argument with my girlfriend.
@AverageBrethren
@AverageBrethren 4 года назад
Refuse to have arguments, only calm rational fair discussions.
@tywonbowe2810
@tywonbowe2810 4 года назад
funny
@johnconway82
@johnconway82 4 года назад
I bet she says you don't pay attention.
@Alpha-move
@Alpha-move 4 года назад
I lay down exactly what i think...if my girl tries to argue it...i just tell her to ether get her mind together and talk to me with respect and a calm tone...or pack your shit. Alpha up and usually it goes well.
@moejr14
@moejr14 3 года назад
Same
@frozemoments7873
@frozemoments7873 5 лет назад
Amazing lesson for everyone...I grew up in a aggressive home and have struggled not losing my temper all my 41 years while raising a family
@sbring00able
@sbring00able 7 лет назад
A co-worker of mine could benefit greatly from this advice
@salvadorvidrio6031
@salvadorvidrio6031 6 лет назад
Kick his ass!
@iammaximus614
@iammaximus614 4 года назад
And take names
@aegis1616
@aegis1616 4 года назад
Better be careful how you tell him that.
@lukegribble5752
@lukegribble5752 2 года назад
Such a huge help. Stopping and taking a breath is the best remedy when it comes to losing your temper.
@taboovsknowledge1603
@taboovsknowledge1603 5 месяцев назад
In construction, I quickly learned to not get angry because it serves no purpose, and is counterproductive. Solve the problem by achnoliging if you are looking at the symptom, or the problem itself. Then, make a change that makes the problem never happen again. If someone screwed up and thinks they are in trouble because I had to solve the problem. I tell them "thank you"! You exposed a problem and now it is a thing of the past. You just made my company better! Then repeat on all issues. Smooth construction includes smooth relations!
@lanceawatt
@lanceawatt 7 лет назад
Jocko losing his cool would be a "GET TO DA CHOPPA!!!" situation for anyone within a 600 mile radius.
@josemadriz4602
@josemadriz4602 7 лет назад
It's good to learn so much from you, Jocko. You always have great advice, and it's amazing that it comes from experience and study. You have much wisdom, sir.
@sgt.grinch3299
@sgt.grinch3299 2 года назад
Amen. I struggle with this everyday. I have always used my rage and fears as motivation. I thrive in chaos but suffer in peace and quiet.
@surajshaw9703
@surajshaw9703 4 года назад
The most scariest thing about Jocko is that he comes off so calm, cool and non threatening... But he can rip your arm off and beat you with it in a moment's notice.
@mortisdolus3356
@mortisdolus3356 3 года назад
@John Smith the people that realise that their idols are just people, exactly like their own selves, with the same flaws and fears to overcome, are probably the ones most prone to following their advice.
@manush60
@manush60 2 года назад
@Matthew Kyle i get what your saying. But jockos not" just a guy". Mans tough as a nail, hes been in literal warzons and seen people get killed and also kill a few. The man knows the fundamentals of violence bloodshed and pain, and much impressive is his self control as he talks in the video. Which average just another guy, would step into a warzone and kill or be killed? Im no fan of jocko, but hes someone i look upto as a man.
@blackpilledchad1927
@blackpilledchad1927 2 года назад
Not if you shoot him in his head first
@denyspoyner8815
@denyspoyner8815 Год назад
I had the same inner RAGE going on when I was younger, nowadays I get real calm, even when someone is raging and spewing hate in my face. I'm just ice cold and calm as a clam, until its go time. I'm 53 now, never a good idea to mess with an old guy. We're survivors. 🤔
@keithprice7119
@keithprice7119 5 лет назад
I've always been able to keep my cool under stress but it's only outwardly. Inside I'm worked up but am able not to show it on my face. The trade off is that I'm left with a shit load of adrenalin afterwards. If I can't immediately go for a run or work out it's hard to deal with. So I guess (after reading my comment back) I'm not actually keeping my cool, I'm just putting a mask on.
@optimusprime699
@optimusprime699 Год назад
I 100% agree and have battled with this idea that it is weak, immature and a waste of time getting raged and angry. I work on it so much. The issue is when the deep burning starts to happen with in, and I start to tense up and my breathing changes, inside i feel like a nuclear reactor and i can't stop that feeling, even if i keep it with in. I have terrible neck pain and other pains from the tension and I just want it to stop but no matter how many yares i have been working on this it just doesn't go and is getting worse. I try to change my mind set in how i react, so when people are rude, stupid or horrible i try to disassociate so i don't get triggered but doesn't last and i quickly loose control. Its a real problem that then gets me down because of all these emotions. My father and his father terrible tampers, always fighting, with and with out weapons, and all their family same the story. After all these years working and trying to shift my mind set and behaviours and triggers, I think it is hereditary or something and and characteristic that maybe can't be removed, just like we can not remove the colour of our eyes by mind set or the amount of chemicals in our blood. Just suffer in silence and hope for the best.
@skipperjones2575
@skipperjones2575 3 месяца назад
Seriously i cannot control my emotions when it comes to that my rage is flowing up, my body start shaking which is not good for me like how i can keep my cool when someone keeps barking again and again like you really did your job and someone will ruined it?! sometimes we have a limit for ourselves, like im a silent guy but when it comes to that situation nah hell nah boi he should be thankful because my dreams is in line on this work of mine so i have to control my emotions towards him. Sometimes I always think of my mind that violence is the only way to teach some lesson that im not the type of guy who you messen up. But im so thankfull that I've watch this video and showing your emotions is a weakness so i have no choice but to let it go and be a guy who become you want.
@mikewhatley9783
@mikewhatley9783 7 лет назад
Great words of wisdom - thanks Jocko keep up the great work!
@RedNovaMedia
@RedNovaMedia 6 лет назад
Man, where have you been when I needed this advice years ago. Thank you Jocko
@allanbrogdon9372
@allanbrogdon9372 Год назад
At 61 glad I learned to avoid most situations. After a younger guy kept saying I will kick your ass old man. I finally got mad and dared him to step out back. The verbal bullying stopped because I meant it .
@authorjeffkosiba290
@authorjeffkosiba290 6 месяцев назад
Big fan of Jocko's. This is 100% the kind of advice that can change lives for the positive. God bless brother
@OCECinemas
@OCECinemas 5 лет назад
I have been battling with my depression and anger. This one little thing saying that it's a weakness. Has really opened my eyes. I know it seems like common sense stuff but like he said it didn't happen over night for him. But I was in a fog and didn't know what to do and now I finally and going to try to something that might work. Thank for the help
@christophdollis1955
@christophdollis1955 7 лет назад
Thanks, Jocko. Timely video. I've scheduled this to watch periodically.
@realzGaming
@realzGaming 4 года назад
This really helps I am currently a barista at Starbucks and it is easy for me to loose my temper bc of nasty customers I keep my cool for the most part this really helps thank you
@alexanderbutler2989
@alexanderbutler2989 3 года назад
There is not only one kind of anger we have to deal with. There is the anger of the petulant, spoiled child who doesnt get what he wants, expressed without control or intent. But there is also the furious anger that comes from injustice, unfairness, bad timing, murphies law, and an accumulation of things just not going your way and sometimes you reach a point where you have to say enough is enough. water tanks have bleed valves to relieve the pressure when it becomes too much. Direct your anger toward the appropriate target and let lose with the full blast. Intense, controled anger is not weakness and in fact can win you power.
@jag3217
@jag3217 5 лет назад
Lol my dad always told me to count to ten before opening the trap,@ 57 still learning!!!
@n1c98
@n1c98 6 лет назад
I want better control of my impulsive thoughts/ anger sometimes
@ceckolalovia
@ceckolalovia 3 года назад
Control is not the thing you need, try meditation tho, just watch your thoughts let em flow try not to cling to it, and also while doing that try not to generate tension :)
@230mps
@230mps 3 года назад
Picture yourself as someone calm you admire analyzing your thoughts as they happen.
@unkownoflife5959
@unkownoflife5959 3 года назад
The Lord Jesus Christ gives peace friend.
@rollz4010
@rollz4010 3 года назад
Same here
@gordomagro8669
@gordomagro8669 2 года назад
simple. no advanced language, no deep psychology terms, just straight to the point and more inspiring than we often get when we listen to all the fancy language and feel bad for being so far behind that level. especially when you're someone who can see through things and can see that while this person does care about helping others, they're also doing it more for themselves than anyone. all in all, we can never really know what goes in others' brains so. cant be too pissed about that
@lorenzrosenthal119
@lorenzrosenthal119 Год назад
I think becoming angry and losing your temper is only the first step and it is necessary to see what negative consequences arise of that. Then you gain wisdom from it and finally come to realize what Jocko says.
@davefischer2344
@davefischer2344 10 месяцев назад
yes
@Guts-zd2lw
@Guts-zd2lw Год назад
I always think of what Ragnar said, “Use your anger intelligently.” Its letting anger take control of you is the sign of weakness. Appreciate the message nonetheless.
@BigButler08
@BigButler08 Год назад
The real question is what do you do when the person is in your face and won't leave you alone and desperately wants to make you upset or angry because they have proven over time that they have some desperate need to insult and disrespect you in front of other people and you alone out of your group of "friends? " asking because I recently had to cut a person loose for this.
@user-vc5rp7nf8f
@user-vc5rp7nf8f 3 года назад
what i identify most about people like jocko, elon musk, etc is that they've been through a lot of gruelling situations to get to where they are, and they did it through principles and hard work. no politics, no whining, just getting stuff done, constantly improving and learning how to be better/smarter, exploring new ventures, being disciplined, and analyzing situations logically. listening to their thoughts and how they approach life has been very inspirational and helpful in my daily routine and also in deciding the type of person i want to be.
@nekto34
@nekto34 7 месяцев назад
My mom used to constantly yell at me. She was losing it left and right. It was unbelievable. At about 16 y o I realized there's nothing behind it and just how valuable it is to always stay calm, collected, composed. It is easier said than done and I always reach the point where I feel I am about to lose it. And sometimes I did lose it. I am not proud of it, but over the years I learned how to control myself better.
@lauran.9427
@lauran.9427 7 лет назад
Jocko...I love you and appreciate your service, strength and everything you are!!! I will say this was a tough post to watch...being bullied all my life (yep..chick is 40 and still continues) I find it tough not to "go ballistic" ....I THANK YOU for this post....
@derekstaten5221
@derekstaten5221 6 лет назад
It took me 24 years to figure out by myself wish I did that sooner in my life
@PandaGamerMo
@PandaGamerMo 5 лет назад
You better than me bud. I'm learning it at 26
@LitoGeorge
@LitoGeorge 4 года назад
And me at 47.
@richardhammer187
@richardhammer187 4 года назад
@@LitoGeorge Amen buddy, only a little bit younger than you, and I still just managed to keep it on the down-low TWICE today due to moronic entitled drivers.
@LitoGeorge
@LitoGeorge 4 года назад
@@richardhammer187 When I was younger, the Falklands war was front and centre. I recall one of the heroes of the story was someone they called Commander Ice or something like that, because he was simply unflappable. In my young state (and with no one to bounce this off), I thought that meant suppressing all feelings. That worked really well and gave me the aura of a sense of calm that really worked well in the Army and beyond. But once the lid came off, it was bad. Truly. Now I realise that its managing those feelings. Courage is feeling the fear and doing it anyway as they say. Pushing it down is not feeling it. And so we learn.
@derekstaten5221
@derekstaten5221 2 года назад
Nope bud three years later still watching this. Day by day
@dimdim5094
@dimdim5094 5 месяцев назад
Showing this to my special needs class. I got good lads in here who suffer from anger management while also struggling with ASD. Thanks Jocko for helping out people all over the world, in this case kids in QLD Australia.
@henrylin3527
@henrylin3527 2 года назад
Thank you so much for sharing! “Anger is a sign of weakness” that is so true!! I’m starting to realize I must change! Being weak it ain’t cool. Thank you once again “nod nod” peace ✌️
@firefighter2699
@firefighter2699 6 лет назад
When I was going through EMT school, which at my college the instructors made it very difficult (understandbly) to the point where some students would cry and quit, the main instructor who had been through a lot shit reccomended Jakko, every morning when i wake up at 430 I throw his podcast on before the gym. Thank you for what you do sir!.
@erikg007
@erikg007 3 года назад
Thank you Jocko. I've been searching for anger management tips for a long time. You solved my problem in the first 7 seconds of the video.
@Alpha-move
@Alpha-move 4 года назад
I vibe with this, i was military also...it is difficult to convey what goes through my head sometimes. But i got to the point i was thinking some dangerous thoughts. Knowing that i have allot of power...i realized that because I'm strong means that i absolutely need to control myself. No one is worth a jail sentence...so if possible it's best to brush it off.
@stevekostakis2983
@stevekostakis2983 4 года назад
Mr Willink...my utmost respect to you Sir. Your wisdom and guidance is something I really have been looking for. 🙏
@gil658
@gil658 7 лет назад
"I can't believe this!" hahaha. But only podcast I listen to. Thank you.
@rileynteddygaming9064
@rileynteddygaming9064 2 года назад
I always have that extra strength I decide not use it it’s not weakness it’s nothing you always had that power but when you harness it and use it to power you’re going to go rip through things you really got some adrenaline
@dilly7551
@dilly7551 8 месяцев назад
It’s crazy how the world changes as you gain wisdom. I didn’t realize how weak anger really was. Maybe to a young person full of energy and hormones you think it’s power but in reality control is power
@newera5238
@newera5238 Месяц назад
THANKYOU 🙏. I deal with ALOT of post War PTSD that eat me up inside, and dealing with custody battles with my Daughters Mom.
@TheKevinkauffman06
@TheKevinkauffman06 2 года назад
Completely disagree. I was abused by my step dad for years and did or said nothing. Until the day he put hands on my sister and I got so ANGRY that I smashed him in the back of the head with a toolbox. At 11yo, my anger was our saving grace. Not my fear of getting beat again. Not the sadness of the my life. My rage at my sister being hit. My rage exposed him and saved us from said situation. Anger is necessary to survival.
@legendarybreton460
@legendarybreton460 Год назад
That sounds like self defense.He’s talking about mental weakness.If I call you a name and you get mad, it’s because you’re mentally weak and I now have power over your emotions.If someone is physically abusing you that’s not mental weakness, it’s assault.it’s like if I grab a sledgehammer and bash your car in, that’s destruction of property but if I call your car ugly, and you are mentally affected by it, and get angry and sad, you’re just weak.if you damage my car, im probably going to get physical but that’s just to preserve my property.
@RowenWright-rd7di
@RowenWright-rd7di Год назад
I agree with you when you said anger is necessary for survival I definitely agree
@ritchcarcass8624
@ritchcarcass8624 10 месяцев назад
And that’s the problem. That’s how we get triggered because we get angry thinking we need to do it to defend ourselves, when, in most cases, we are just being angry over the top. You and I should both take this advice to have strength over our emotions. And I agree with you 100% because God knows if somebody’s going to try to make a move on me. My anger will be quicker than a Bruce Lee snap and that’s the problem. Are you with me?
@ritchcarcass8624
@ritchcarcass8624 10 месяцев назад
Being abused by your stepdad is nothing compared to being abused by your real father. At least, with the stepdad you can make an excuse for the lack of love, but when it comes from your own dad, also abusing my sister, coupled with extremely angry abusiveness, this is the world that I live in and I’m trying to break it
@goingforspades-l7d
@goingforspades-l7d 9 месяцев назад
Yes, anger is a natural and healthy emotion. Anger isnt meant to be avoided or surpressed, its meant to be harnessed.
@cmdctrl4292
@cmdctrl4292 7 лет назад
Sometimes it's a strength.
@ibrahimismail8670
@ibrahimismail8670 7 лет назад
yeah i agree you can't be all logic and no emotion
@NatralSelection
@NatralSelection 7 лет назад
Cmd Ctrl I concur. You wouldn't have any emotions without me.
@russell32579
@russell32579 7 лет назад
Cmd Ctrl losing control is not strength its weakness...losing your temper is still losing...channeling the energy to perform and tapping into your strength to get the job done is the messege here
@cmdctrl4292
@cmdctrl4292 7 лет назад
I understood his message but my message was, nothing is absolute and sometimes losing your temper can be the icing on the cake, the little extra fuel or a burst of fire that you may have needed to overcome that obstacle. You could have somebody 100 lbs on top of you smashing your face and if you're able to release the dark side, let go of control and allow your primitive instincts to channel, then you could turn the tables. If your manager at work, your dad, or whatever is a hardcore piece of shit to you and they constantly ride you thus pushing you into becoming a forever beta-mindset; then releasing that anger that you've worked so hard and been taught all your life to suppress could be just the right formula into letting them know, "Not. This. Time! Mother Fucker!", and it could earn you respect from them or it could reassure yourself that you're not compatible with being a beta, you're capable and should be an alpha and in lieu of that, should change lifestyles and embrace the beast that is the most successful predator on this planet = A Human Man. Furthermore, intolerance is a strength, suppressing it has it's time and place but to never unleash the beast has it's consequences. If European Men, Specifically German, Swedish, and French men would allow themselves to lose control, then their countries wouldn't stand by whilst a god damn army of invaders rape their women and steal their lands and live off of their taxes. Control is a push pull, anger has it's applications, and the true strength lies in knowing how to and when to suppress or unleash the humanity upon your foe whether politically or physically. Jocko is military and I imagine that a lot of his messages are from his experiences with other military people and that most of his advice is aimed towards supporting his brothers in arms whom are well known by society to have short and uncontrolled tempers and if you're that fucking guy, then yes, fix your shit, loose cannons are predictable, detrimental to those around them, and self-cannibalistic in many ways. But*, in the civilian world, a world of which is my jungle, the opposite occurs. An entire race of Men, White Men especially whom have become absolutely pussified and are losing their predatorial hierarchy to lesser men, to lessor cultures, to lazier and less capable constructs of biology Because* they live a life of not only being controlled but through self-controlling and thus suppressing their manhood, thus surrendering their position as the Apex Alpha Predator and on a large scale it's killing society, destroying thousands of years of hard earned ground, ground earned by real men, ground that was evolved by true warriors, broken fingered builders, cutthroat merchants, hardened fathers, whipped sons, and self sustaining bastards whom did not have an ounce of self control because in that world, the world of which we were so fortunate to inherit, and the world that we are so foolish give away, in that world - REAL men raised to the top! Real men like Cornelius Vanderbilt and like John Rockefeller whom not only were renounced for losing their temper, they were feared and respected in the faces of lessor; in that world, weak men were made stronger, strong men competed for the first bite, and while the majority survived, the strong strived. We are a nation built on intolerance, built on unleashing anger, and revolted from oppressive control in it's entirety and within the last 60 years, from being over controlled, we are very quickly becoming that of which our ancestors gave their lives to obtain; a nation without suppression and even worse, a nation that allows and imports it's enemies whom prey to the god of control to enter our lands unchallenged and thus bringing me back to my original statement that sometimes it's a fucking strength. If anybody who reads this comment is interested in further knowledge on the topic then I highly recommend this book: www.amazon.com/Path-Destruction-Star-Wars-Darth/dp/0345477375
@Shaddicus
@Shaddicus 7 лет назад
Jocko would agree with you. There was a story when he was a corner-man in MMA deliberately pissing off his fighter.There Leif told a story of losing it on his guys and Jocko said "I dunno, that sounds like a time that showing some anger was appropriate."Dichotomy and Balance are big themes of leadership.
@wonderwomanmomma4112
@wonderwomanmomma4112 3 года назад
Anger is such an easily accessible emotion for me. This was good.
@lucasskrobish2473
@lucasskrobish2473 3 года назад
I am prone to having a temper, this is the most helpful clip on RU-vid I have ever found
@elplateado0018
@elplateado0018 7 лет назад
Hey Jocko Hey Echo You guys are awesome !
@Xist-Mob
@Xist-Mob 3 года назад
Difficult when everything and everyone makes me angry
@josephrobertson8660
@josephrobertson8660 3 года назад
That's your fuckin bad and fault bud
@nunyabidnazz2311
@nunyabidnazz2311 3 года назад
Awesome! For a man to speak on controlling your anger being a strength....actually a big deal! Thank you!! I’m sharing this with my teenage son and think he’ll appreciate it coming from a “tough guy” 😂 Awesome job!!
@donpowell9281
@donpowell9281 2 года назад
This way of cutting it off at the pass is going to change my life. Literally just nodding.... Missing piece found. Thank you man.
@connorduffy3726
@connorduffy3726 7 лет назад
Who THE FUCK disliked this? ...shit...I lost my temper.
@davecote8388
@davecote8388 7 лет назад
Dude it seems you forgot to count to 10 and nod positively.
@doctordilanka
@doctordilanka 7 лет назад
Goose Fraba my brother. Goose Fraba.
@pauld4355
@pauld4355 7 лет назад
an angry person
@dasultan6299
@dasultan6299 6 лет назад
Someone weak! Lol
@charliezelenowski2701
@charliezelenowski2701 2 года назад
I imagine there must be a good few people like me out there. Without going into too much detail, 90% of my confrontations growing up ended in violence, when my body starts getting those same chemical signals that an argument brings (coincidentally, the same chemical precursors that lead up to a fight) I find it almost impossible to not lose my shit. It's easy to mock someone like me and tell me that I am the problem... I feel like at least I acknowledge and try to address the issue. As soon as my heart rate goes up it's like an avalanche effect. Often taking me an hour or so to really get over it. Now I do have mental problems when it comes to this stuff, If I didn't I wouldn't be leaving this comment. I have had only one fight in the last 10 years, which for me is good going.
@tlhoward5
@tlhoward5 2 года назад
You can do it brother, it takes a lot of practice.
@smyrnasstory
@smyrnasstory 3 года назад
We benefit when we develop the strength to control our emotions. Although some anger may be justified at times, uncontrolled anger is destructive. Modern researchers point out that in the heat of the moment, angry people often say or do things that they will later regret. ““As a city broken through, without a wall, is the man who cannot control his temper,” Aw19#3
@silascochran9705
@silascochran9705 4 года назад
Thank you for tuning me in again brother I just came through a situation where this information may have worked to my benefit
@Aitonomouss
@Aitonomouss 4 года назад
When I get mad I count to 1,000,000. By the time I reach 500k, I've already forgotten why I'm counting.
@h0rriphic
@h0rriphic Год назад
I lost my temper this morning. It was really, really bad. Although people that witnessed it tell me I was justified- but frankly it’s embarrassing to have been allowed myself to lose control. I actually had to make myself get in my car and drive away bc I was afraid of what I’d do. I don’t know what to do bc I’ll have to go back there in 72 hours. No idea how to keep my shit together. Help. Im a mess. I don’t want to go to prison.
@georgezazueta61
@georgezazueta61 10 месяцев назад
Are u okay?
@abhishak21
@abhishak21 5 месяцев назад
Anger is not weakness losing temper is
@wavesofrelaxation4038
@wavesofrelaxation4038 3 года назад
Thank you for this video, I suffer from Bipolar and I feel so helpless when my anger comes on. I know it is a sign of weakness and I hate weakness. I think this is a great message! Thank you for posting, very good advice, very smart man.
@gt9188
@gt9188 6 лет назад
When somebody yells at me...... I laugh!
@lilosnitch3247
@lilosnitch3247 5 лет назад
That moment when u control your temper but no ome else does
@berkekaancetinkaya8721
@berkekaancetinkaya8721 2 года назад
"Anger is weakness" very interesting perspective. I think anger can help us to achieve our goals it's not just weakness in my opinion.
@HugeHeart13
@HugeHeart13 2 года назад
I had to apply Jocko’s wisdom while reading through some of the comments on this post in order not to be “weak” and react to some of the stupid things written here. I’ve been weak all my life and didn’t realize how it creeps in even while I’m just relaxing and listening to things to make myself a better person. It’s crazy how sneaky weakness is and how being reactive with someone makes me feel exactly like he said in the talk, it makes me think I’m powerful and better than someone when I retaliate and react. But since it’s weakness, I end up worse off down the road and nothing good comes from the energy I waste.
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