How to ask a girl to be your girlfriend 

Todd is completely right about this. I lost all my value with a girl by having a conversation about us dating. Not the first time this has happened either. Never again.

Todd is absolutely right! When I asked a girl I used to date to be my girlfriend the following happened: not only did she refuse, but the relationship got worse and needy me with a scarcity mindset accepted this until we ended on bad terms and I got a heartbreak. I'm glad my mindset is that of abundance and we can all do so much better with that kind of thinking x

Convince with your action. Not words. 👍 Ask through being amazing.

It feels great watching a ToddV video and you realised you actually already did what he said

"Would you mind.. becoming my girlfriend, maybe? please? I promise I'll do anything you want" Did I get it right?

Just wanted to say Big thanks. I wasn't awful with ladies before your channel, but it seriously help me dodge pit falls, and shit test before I never even noticed.

Exactly what I did, literally I talked to her for a long time, I treated her like my girlfriend, then she finally asked if we're actually a couple, then we decided to be a couple. Its cool to, I follow this religiously because you should really know who the girl is if you plan on spending years with her, also another reason I'm so fond of not actually asking her to be your girlfriend.

When they ask me, who is teaching you pickup, i respond, the best in the world, Todd V.

From this video I’m gonna say “You are demanded to be my girlfriend or else you’re out”

Todd is better than Illuminaty.

Wish I could've received this message last year around this exact time I asked a girl if she wanted to be "my girl" and "be official" and she responded with "I don't want to hurt you" and it pretty much made everything awkward for me and it felt like I had lost all my power with her after that conversation.

So you've finally found a girl who seems to like you and you'd like to make her your girlfriend. The most obvious thing to do would be to ask her, right? Well, it may "work", but even when it does, it was probably a mistake, and it could also backfire badly. Here's what I do instead...

I love hearing stuff from your soccer days in college. The wisdom is always gold! 😂

So fucking on point. The biggest issue is that most guys do this out of neediness or jealousy, or because they think they are losing the girl and that by doing this they will get her back, but it is completely counterproductive. If you are just having the relationship you want without being worries about what it is you will be much better off, and that will actually make the girl be needy and bring up the "what are we" conversation first. The one thing I would add to this, once you are clearly in the power position and the girl is asking it, there's nothing wrong with actually making her your girlfriend at that point if that's what you want, going to the other extreme to avoid appearing needy is also weird and might even make the girl think that you are insecure or confused which is not attractive, if you really want her to be your girlfriend say it with the right frame (once she has shown the signals she is ready for it by bringing it up first) if yo frame it as though you understand her concern and that you want to put the same energy and time into her that she is putting into you by being exclusive and being actually serious, you are making her feel like she won. So as long as you frame it properly you can get that logical agreement of exclusiveness and everything that entails without looking needy whatsoever.

A better way to think about it is if you're going to propose to your girl. You're already expect her to say yes because you to already acting like it.

You're explanation conveys a complete understanding of the situation.

I just wanted to give a big thanks to this channel. I didn't think pick up would be so incredibly hard, it has knocked me on my ass more times than I could count. I was a guy that really could not get a girlfriend to save myself, or so my dumbass younger self thought. Pick up really is a rabbit hole. If I had to tell my old self about getting a gf, it's like graduating from school. Nobody likes the lectures/homework/report cards, but you do it to get a diploma and move on to bigger things and grow. But don't make the diploma your end goal per se, have fun along the way, because that's where the memories are. One thing I did not expect was to actually like this girl, as strange as that may be, it's different than one-itis, it's like she's like family? I can't really explain what it's like but there is a true connection, and not just based on superficial stuff like looks. Like she comes to my boxing matches and stuff, there's a strong supportive element that was not there when I would just blow my load in them and leave. And actually, I would also tell my old self, you really need to know yourself and be strong within and outside if possible to handle a woman. Your problems don't stop when you are in a relationship, they will still throw you shit tests, and test your frame like a mothafucka. You face a myriad of other problems in a relationship. This is my first gf, been with her for 4 years. And in those 4 years I can say it was NOT always easy, I shit you not. TRUST ME. She gets prego and wants to keep the kid or she wants you to move in with her or she wants you to go travelling with her every 6 months or funerals, or her crying on your shoulder about shit or screaming at you and throwing stuff. Or a lack of sex for a bit. Lotta fucked up stuff, REAL stuff, that I would never have anticipated and If I was any weaker would not be able to handle a relationship. People when they meet me say I look tough and talk that way, but they don't know I was once where they were too. We all start somewhere, and I believe you can do it too.

Tbh I was kinda doing this without thinking (cause I didn't know how to deal with that situation either) so this is really reassuring, thanks so much dude.

I didn't ask the girl to be my girlfriend right after we first started dating, and she asked me to be her boyfriend and then got irritated at me that I didn't ask because it wasn't "romantic"

Wow thanks for telling me everything I already learned the hard way! Seriously the video helps a lot, I get a lot of angst while trying to form a relationship that it can be hard conveying my higher value

I agree with this in probably 85% of cases, there are other cases that she already did many many things for you and you can tell she is the one chasing you the most, you already been dating, 2 to 4 months and seen each other over 3, 4 times per week, and if she already have said that she is in love with you and you know she is a romantic girl then in that case maybe a nice dinner at a restaurant with city view on a rooftop or a nice picnic in a nice beach and basically you don't really have to ask, you can say something like... What do you feel we are? She may say we are in a relationship and you can say "that's right " and kiss her and from that moment is oficial.

I've tried "asking" many girl through action alone and I must tell you: NO, IT DOESN'T WORK! Girls need to hear it, they NEED to be asked. It's like the final stage before getting into a relationship. Some, yes, will ask you before you do, but in general, many will just think of you as a friend or find you uninterested / uninteresting. Today I'm meeting a girl and I'm just gonna go with the question.

My brother in law might have used this tatic, because my sister had to tell him she didn’t go out with a guy too much unless he was her boyfriend. Then he asked if she would like to be his girlfriend, and she said “yes”.

I like Todd views relationships as the end goal of game, and even creates education for that topic too. All these pickup gurus who act like banging 1000s of girls is the be-all-end-all are so weird to me.. I can't relate to that mindset, and I expect most guys can't really either. It's so inefficient.. so much energy expended relative to just being in a great relationship with one person.

You shouldn't propose girls. The girls itself will give you the signs like a girlfriend does or ask you what are we or something stuff like that. And the main part here is you should already start acting and talking to her like she is your girlfriend. Also you should maintain the mascuiline frame

Big daddy Todd for president. I swear I've learned more from him and Patrice O Neal than I ever did in High School.

Todd is the best person concerning relationships. He is absolutely 100% right. And the guy is not even a psychologist. Forget goofs like Jordan Petersen or the red pill people, just listen to Todd.

Thanks todd. I was wondering about this. Im talking to a pretty cool girl right now....were co workers....but here's the thing. We work in a remote environment at a work camp in an oil field. One of those remote jobs where you're there for weeks at a time. So we're stuck here ya know. I have been enjoying her company and was thinking about asking her questions . Not this one directly. But we've been talking a lot and I wanted to get to know her deeper and just ask questions pertaining to dating....no I have not asked her to be my girlfriend. Though we have said we're glad we met each other etc. I also haven't tried to push physically or anything...as I said, we're stuck out here for weeks at a time if it goes sour. Like we work for a few weeks then fly home and we're off for a few weeks throughout the year. Gotta be careful. I'm glad I just saw this vid.

Video idea: a chronological explanation of these critical moments you talk of, from approach to marriage

Hey Todd, What are your biggest daygame tips? I can usually sexualize a conversation at a bar, but I find it harder to do during the day.

Great content as always. Reminded me of something you said in the relationships manifesto. Can you make a video on what to look for before you can even tell a girl is flakey, what causes them to be flakey, etc. Steps to a more solid number

I learned the hard way that this is how you make friends. You never ask someone. I was five though. lol But the more you act like and do friend things, it just falls into place.

So pretty much don’t communicate? And just assume we know what the other person is thinking? Nah that’s set up for a terrible relationship.

My Girlfriend is cheating on me😭

Man this is really great advice! And there I was about to ask the question!

Very well put Todd! Would this also apply though if the girl used to be your GF, you guys ended things on good terms, and then now you both want to get back together (or you want to get back together with her?)

If you confess you really missing power of walk away. Like, you already can't just turn it to "friends with benefits" or something like that. And if you wanna more girls it's gonna stop you.

She’s gunna say no bro

There is this one girl from my class that i had a crush on since 1st grade, we are very good friends. Yesterday we finished the 8th grade witch means that our class is breaking up and everyone will continue their education in highschool. Because of the end we had a prom and i went on it with her( a expirience i will never forget). I was thinking of asking her to be my girlfriend when we finish completing our final exams and getting points for highschool but sometimes i think that she is out of my level( she is pretty, cute, very smart ,funny, and has a bunch of friends). I think i will ask her after all but it will be a hard period in my life if she rejects me( since ive been crushing on her for so long).

Simple question: what is the best way to ask out girls (i.e. do you wanna grab coffee Thursday, do you want to hang out sometime, etc.)?

It's funny because women receive the same advice to not ask. Because it puts them in the position of chasing.I personally would prefer for a man to ask because it would give me confidence in his ability to lead the relationship. If the man doesn't ask then I will assume we are not exclusive and therefore can continue seeing other people. most women I know think that way because that's what dating coaches are telling them. In fact the majority of dating coaches on RU-vid are telling women to not ask because men don't like it when women pursue them. So by not asking she may assume you're not looking for a relationship and keep her options open.then the man who is not playing games or trying to use pickup artist tips and is confident in himself will lead the relationship and ask her to be exclusive. And even if she likes you more she will go with that more assertive man. Because in her mind he is the alpha male and the go-getter.

In some cultures like the Japanese culture you have to ask the question “~do you want to be my…”. Otherwise the relationship is not official and many of them will start to think that you are not serious and are just playing around so eventually she will loose trust and avoid contacting you. A girl I met at work and I liked told me “I noticed you kind of liked me and do things for me and so but you never, never said so to me. I have a boyfriend now”. I felt like an idiot when she said that to me. This girl I’m seeing now, it’s been 4 to 5 months. The situation has gotten stale, many times she cancels outs plans to go out and I feel that this is not moving forwards. However when she sees me at work she smiles and stares like has seen an angel. And she texts me things like “how are you cutie, handsome buy, or you are the sweetest, cute, etc”. So I don’t know if she is playing or what. But I don’t want to keep following her around or asking her to go out. So it is San valentine day tomorrow and I’ll ask the question, so if she says no I’ll just take my distance, of course I “might” still communicate but I will already know my position so the communication and my interest will be different if so. I’m doing this as a last resort since I feel we are seeing each other less and texting less. I feel like she might just start seeing other guys or her friends or family every time they ask about her they say “she doesn’t have a boyfriend here yet” (she is new to the city and has 1 year here), she might start talking to many people and well, eventually one guy will ask her for sure. However this advice works with plenty of girls as well, but only if you actually win her heart first, making them like you, making them need you and such. Another girlfriend I had from school, even though I did things like probably a boyfriend would do she never had a clue? So when I asked her to be my gf she was shocked and I was shocked as well, she said she needed more time to know me better but from that moment her mindset and eyes were not as a friend but something more. I never asked the second time. We were already a couple. Every time I met her I moved at least 5%-10% towards my goal (depends how shy, communicative open minded is she), sitting closer, feeding her, hugging her, words, etc. At the end there was no need to confess.

What if she wants you to ask her.

This man is the definition of " i know how women work,"

I agree to your point who ask it most of the time if not all, would got the inferior (not inherently bad) frame. And it is better to start act like one, watch if she respond positively and escalate to the point you can bring her fully into your life (with trust and pure intent) rather that asking it in the first place. But, what I know in the most of eastern world, like in patriarchs Asian country, that would be a problem, since you need some kind of establishment to bring a girl with you to like a social event or some public space. So, my advice, instead asking for more, you can make a speech about your value, your intent, value and condition, basically close your sale for her, and tell "I got shit, and I have clear plan for us, so if you feel like it, you can go with me, but here's the deal..." like that, and if she doesn't sure yet, you should let her go for some times. perhaps, she'll make decision, or not at all. make sure you know where you are in the relationship and where you are heading, with or without her. that would be more effective rather than asking directly. and as always, loves your appreciation Todd, the most practical advice I've ever had in my life, and that it works

How can you post videos always related to topics which I need?

Omg todd with your videos and marni im a true menace now, big up thank yall for sharing this advice

Another great video! Thank you!

Very good Todd V. Never ask. That is her job to ask. Girl must ask or relationship is fucked.

Excellent advice. This is sooo true

When you and your girlfriend fight a lot, how do you know when it's just not meant to be and it's better to break up and when it's better to try to work on your understanding of each other and have better communication?

These videos are better than RSD Max - good shit Todd

Todd should charge serious money for the content in this video. Priceless.

thanks for the tips before i make any mistake.

finna try ts right now

Fuck, i needed to watch this 1 month ago, great content

lo hey todd love the great content l can't believe i'm about to ask you a question while in between sets in the field. oh well here goes: how quickly and how much should one set premise in a night game scenerio in order to hook in a nightgame set assuming he is competing with a fair amount of distraction in the venue. i feel like a habit of going over kill tryna set my premise in the beginning which makes it too obvious but if i tone it down, my sets don't hook. its almost like a weird quantity of premise versus quality of premise conundrum (quality being effective yet obvious premise that im tryna tone down)

This was exactly what I needed

#AskTodd But Todd, I still asked my (now ex) girlfriend out back then and she said yes, otherwise she'd never have guessed about my feelings for her. What do you say about that?

What about if you are seeing a girl, and you introduce her to other people? It's so much easier and socially acceptable when you just say "Meet my girlfriend Emily" versus "Meet the girl I'm dating, Emily".

Great vid, I love the preamble of this being the point of game. If you feel like the girl deserves it and hopes to be your girlfriend, what about telling her "I'm willing to call you my girlfriend if you want."

What about telling them you aren't seeing anyone else? Not asking but basically telling her you are being exclusive without asking her to be in return.

Could you please make a more detailed version of this vid? I can't understand it well

Damn this dude just saved my ass

She told me I have to ask her

Well first of all dont make it weird by looking at your crotch and saying Hi Todd

she recommended making it official so i’m just wondering how to ask her

Not bad advice. I just go steady for a while and lay it down in the bed room a few times then after I lay with her and in a dorky way look into her eyes and say ‘hey, you wanna be my girlfriend?” They kinda eat it up and think it’s adorable. 😅

Did this horrible mistake. Was dating this girl for two months, met her every weekend. One night I fuck around saying I would still meet her even if we couldn't have sex. She says nothing. This gets me weirdly enough pissed, instead of just accepting it and moving on. Next day I call her out on it. She says she doesn't want a relationship but likes what we have right now. We act like bf/gf, go on dates, fuck exclusively. Even been to her damned cabin far in the woods. But going official? Yeah, thats not happening for awhile, or even ever. What do you do then? Straight up accept it, or find someone else. Hope someone reads this and can learn from my mistake!

My guy! Thanks for the lesson.

hell yeah! don't demand it, command it! you sound like a sports announcer, by the way..lol

How can I be more closer to her and build a closer connection with the girl without becoming a bestfriend?

I asked a girl "where do you see this going" and immediately regretted it lol.

Guys I’m gonna ask a girl out today wish me luck I will update this

Great advice...where was this 4 years ago lmfao

Heres some advice. Dont ask her to be your girlfriend.

I’m asking her in two days. Come back to this comment to find out if it worked out!

I wanna ask out my crush out

Hey, Todd what things to keep in mind before approaching a girl.! Like many points from all yours video in a single video.

How to game a family friend

Todd the best pick up coach by far

See this is what I hate about dating in 2024, it’s all the mental warfare games men and women feel they HAVE TO play with each other, if I love you to death and I wanna be with you, I just wanna be honest about that and TELL you, you’re supposed to be my woman, not my enemy or my mental competition. If we love each other, let’s just be honest about it and be together, it suppose to be very simple. I also feel like we only feel the need to play these mental power games, when we’re trying to be with someone we feel doesn’t love us the way we love them. A girl who truly loves you, will lick you toes for you if you ask her, so she’ll DEFINITELY be ecstatic about you asking her to be your girlfriend.

Why does it have to be so complicated!

i ve got a question as well. how to pull to her home, not to mine, since my home is pretty far away from the city so ons are kinda impossible.

Have you read the book "30 Days to Stop Being a Crazy Girlfriend" by Logan Tindell? It takes a mindfulness approach with some humor.

I asked a girl out I liked and she turned on me like a light switch

So what do you do, if it‘s bothering you to be non-exclusive? Is it ok to say this directly to the girl or is this also a mistake and will get percedpted as needyness?

My question is what if she does the same? Me and her are having a break atm coz she said she felt like it wasn’t going anywhere and she wanted me to ask her out properly but I didn’t

Hang out, have fun and hook up. If she really wants you, she’ll take care of the rest.

Yes I did that mistake too by asking 😀 But eventually I improved.

I've always done this and never even realized till now.

Okay, I don't think she is in that phase of talking and being my girlfriend it's wierd. We have been friends for a long time and she is giving me huge hints of Feelings for me but I get the feeling that she dosen't wanna ruin the friendship so what am I supposed to do know because I really like her back (if she even likes me)

Way to goo, broo. 👍

& when they do - RUN

yes! yes! im already doing that and she's act like it to

A command is an inherently followed order. A demand comes from a place of need. If you command respect you’re not asking for it. It’s simply given. If you demand respect you’re practically begging for it which is inherently a low value position. Make sense?

Bro today I saw 3 cute girls I wanted to ask them out but just dint have the confidence so I came here

If you feel you have to ask, she ain't it.

Verbally asking a lady to be your girlfriend is similar to verbally asking someone to be your friend. It's not outrageous but it is a little strange, almost as if you're portraying them as a business associate not a lover

What a trash take. Also, Freudian slip there when you said it’s one “aspect” of the game as if connecting with a girl isn’t THE aspect and end goal….