The anxiety gets better, everyone. My break up was 10 months ago and my anxiety doesn’t exist anymore. It’s liberating. I’m at the gym and I just had a convo at the gym with a guy with dimples and a smile that could melt a rock!!! There are new beginnings and healings and a tomorrow past your break up. I don’t need my ex anymore and my security comes from within. There really is a new season after this despair and you WILL get through a better and stronger person if you allow yourself to reflect and grow from this experience. You’ve got this!! 🙂
Excellent work! I did the same, minus the blanket, it can be hard to move on when your ex still snoops your stories, and is exclusive with a dude that looks like a meth head.
Thank you for this Craig and Margaret.I went through the hardest break up without friends last year but I've made it through by watching your videos since i couldn't afford your service.Indeed your voice helped me a lot.Have a great day to both of you!
Im a 26 year old struggling with anxiety to the point its causing real problems in my life. I miss family events, visits from family and friends, i panic and feel like im dying or losing my mind. Im trying really hard to practice what i learn in these videos. My husband leaves for a business trip for 4 days the same day my dad comes for a visit so im trying really hard to use these tools to keep calm and keep myself busy. I truly appreciate these videos
These videos are so soothing. My anxiety comes and goes like waves but I’ll put these videos in the midst of one of my waves and it brings logic to it and the way I’m feeling. Thank you so much.
I’m really working on myself, and this video had me balling. It’s been 2 months since my break up, I’ve got a new job, lost weight, got into my masters program, and have been doing therapy. Yet the anxiety still hits me, it’s literally a marathon not a race and this is like the fresh cup of water I needed to reach the finish line. Thank you guys so much!
I made a little album in my phone of my grandma, since she was the nicest and most attentive adult figure in my childhood. She passed away two years ago. As soon as I made an album, I was overwhelmed by the grief and cried a lot like a little kid. I miss her tremendously. But, I felt warmth and love as I looked at pics. And all my anxiety toward this lady I want to date with went away for real. Thank you Margaret for the suggestion. That reminded that I was once loved and can love others. And thank you for reminding me of my grandmother. Thank you.
Awww, that is so precious about your son!!!!! I love that!!! I remember a while back when my therapist taught me how to be a caring parent to myself and how to speak kindly to myself and sort of walk through things nice and slow until the anxiety passed.
HEY COACH YOUR STRATEGY ON NO CONTACT TOATTLY WORKS , 4 MONTHS AFTER NOCONTACT HE CAME BACK TELLING ME WHAT A MISTAKE HE MADE AND HE NEVER FELT THE SAME WITH ANYONE ELSE ,I WOULD LIKE TO THANK YOU AND MARGRET BOTH FOR YOU AMAZING WORK . CAN YOU DO A VIDEO ON ANXIOUS ATTACHEMNT STYLES TO FIND A BETTER WAY OF LIVING WITH IT IN A BETTER HEALTHIER WAY XX
This video came right on time!! I was just thinking last night that my anxiety over this awful break up is getting the best of me....I can't turn it off no matter what I try. Thank you for this video it's just what I needed😊😊😊
I recorded this with Craig and Marg saying “you’re ok, you’re ok” I’ve been in the weirdest break up ever (we still live together due to our house that for some reason is not selling) it has been almost a year of the breakup and she still says that doesn’t want me out of her life, that loves me very much but the passion is not there, she’s been dating other people (never last with them) and this is killing me... but like Craig and Margaret say “I’m ok, I’m ok” 😞
I just cried and cried when you said that I'm going to be ok. I feel so hopeless and helpless at times. I've been doing my workbook too. Tonight I was on the creative audio visualization of the penthouse and it just made me cry, especially when they say you can imagine anything there- I wanted my ex to be there, I wanted my best friend again. I had to turn it off it was so difficult to deal with. He broke up with me and moved on, and I am in such despair. It's been about 8wks and I'm feeling like the tears and despair will never end.😭
I have just discovered You and Margaret a few weeks back. It has helped me so much to listen to your videos. Thank you for being there. Whenever I feel anxious I listen to you
@coachcraigkenneth I randomly clicked on your video from a suggestion on RU-vid a few weeks ago and my god am I grateful to the universe or what! I prayed to the universe -and knowing the law of attraction I put it out there - to heal from trauma I dealt with recently from a break up. I suffered from extreme trauma in my childhood and all through adolescence. I watch your videos like crazy day and night! I love learning about psychology and I want to better myself. I suffer from anxiety which can be really debilitating and you and Margaret (who is adorable by the way) are teaching me so much about my anxious attachment style. Thank you from the bottom of my heart to the both of you. You truly are both kindred spirits. I will buy your work books and work through each one AND listen to your channel to help me grow. Who knows even book a session with you sometime in the near future, ha. I respect and admire you both for your continued support in helping people to overcome their fears and better themselves. Take care and sending peace and love to you both from London. Namaste. Love Aisha ❤️❤️ ✌️
I love you guys so much! I tell so many people to listen to you. I listened to you as I raked my yard and cleaned my house meticulously after a bad break up march 2018. I was about 39 and I literally grieved all my previous relationships while I raked my yard for 10 days with a very tiny rake (I was scratching the ground for glass and plastic and any little bits so we didn't get them stuck in our feet from running around bearfoot, which is why it took 10 days, hours a day). I wept as I listened to you day and night, I played parts of your videos over and over and something broke open spiritually inside me, my whole heart and chest and stomach, throat, face. And I wept with such a flowing energy without it being blocked or stuck anymore. I am going through another break up now and I am still listening. I am having my 13 year old daughter listen too, so she will avoid many mistakes and pains I had. Love you both so much, you are a source of comfort, light, truth and hope. Thank you!
This is really good for me, and lots of other people, thank you for the work you do Craig and Margaret! I'll have this video in my self care play list and I also took a screenshot of you two smiling so I can have it as my phone background for now!
I always listen to these videos whenever im having one of those anxiety attacks... Putting words into what we feel really helps me sooth me anxiety. Having things explained and why things happen gives me the emotional rest that i've been craving so much these days. Thank you Craig and Margaret.
Really appreciate this video, guys. This video really helped. I found out some bad news about my ex recently and my primal panic skyrocketed again. After a year of seeing a lot of the symptoms diminish. But when I heard that news, I went fullbore into primal panic. This video came along at a good time for me. Thank you.
When I was 1.5 years old I was left in a house fire without my primary caregivers there to help console me. I think this gave me severe separation anxiety and abandonment issues. I now take medication but even when going through my breakup, this origin if fear came back to me, and I still had an anxiety attack. To calm myself, I hug myself and tell myself "you're okay...you're okay" I may have been helpless as a child then, but I am an adult now and can overcome this engrained fear as long as I am aware of it and learn to calm myself
Best mornings starts with a cup of coffee while watching Coaches Craig and Margaret videos. ❤☕ PS. I can't remember my parents voices though I can imagine their facial expressions just like my ex from 4months ago. Does it mean anything? or I just have a bad memory😆?
Thanks for this video. I was looking for videos on how to alleviate anxiety (as much as the avoidant attachment videos) and this tip is very helpful. Would love more videos like this.
Wow! Now I understand why I recall my mother’s face when I’m feeling discourage or fearful, at the same time, telling myself that “I can do it.” Then, when I feel pain or anxiety, I’ll hold myself like I feel cold while saying “I’m going to be okay” over and over until I feel better. That’s how my mother soothed me when I was growing up.
Literally my ex girlfriend was the person who could calm myself down, so I still have pictures of us on my phone and a small picture of us we took with my niece a few years back. I often look at them to calm my anxiety down and grieve. I also can hear her voice in my head, so that helps me whenever I’m angry or frustrated.
My anxiety is slowly healing, (thanks to watching these videos) but it still hurts at times. My ex girlfriend used to be the person who calmed myself down, but she’s not here with me to do so, so I just picture her face in my head and I hear her sweet voice and I can calm down (even though it makes me sad and depressed). Sometimes at night, I’ll even pull up some of our pictures of us together on my phone, or the picture of us with my niece. I do cry it out though.
I learned CPR and first aid when I was younger, at the Red Cross. I remember the instructor told us never to tell a victim that “you’re going to be OK”or “it’s going to be OK” when you’re trying to save their life. Seems to be at direct odds with how to soothe a child’s anxiety. I am curious about that. Maybe the information I learned was outdated. I do in fact soothe my own children’s anxieties by telling them it’s going to be OK when they’re upset.
Even though I tell myself that I’m going to be ok and fine, and my breakup was 2 and a half months ago, I still have anxiety every now and then, and start to tear up, because it was my first relationship and she was my first everything!
@@archangelelmo Still working on myself, trying to get out there more, feeling sex deprived now. Just deleted the dating apps, wasn’t getting anywhere from them as I did when I first started them 7, 8 years ago.
@@archangelelmo Only a few months after the breakup to really get closure. Telling me that I didn’t make her a priority and she couldn’t handle that she had to wait for me to finish helping out with my family first. Also telling me that she’s with someone who will put her first and all that shit. Bullshit, she’s lying.
I tried the no contact rule for about a week. We have been together for 3.5 years...so I think this rule applies to certain individuals, but not persons who have been together for years because your significant other is a piece of you. Depending on how you were in the relationship and if you do not have any regrets or if it is only the other persons fault--I would say apply this rule. However, if it is mutual then you should be the bigger person and always try to make things work out if you truly love the other person. You do have to respect the other persons wishes for space, but you also need closure and to see if there is another chance. After a couple of weeks I would say try to reach out..In my case when he broke up w me --he was going through a mental breakdown and I did not realize it..He told me he didnt see a future and he was not into me anymore. I was crushed and this happened 3 days before my bday. I begged that same night tried to talk to him sent a million text msgs, but he did not respond, I even went to his house and rang the door bell. I coldnt sleep, eat, had anxiety , missed work..could not concentrate...after that I sent more text messages telling him I shouldve been a certain way and I am sorry for a lot of things...I waited a week after that and told him I would appreciate if he could send a certain item that I left at his house (I was very polite) and then he started opening up, we met up that same day and are trying to work things out. Hope this helps and good luck to everyone..Also, God had a lot to do..I really prayed a lot for us every night w all my heart.
Oh my goodness I am thinking my heart will NEVER be OK, but if I have to keep saying this then maybe I will be. I am broken and just want to be happy and normal and not a basket case on a daily basis and want my brain to stop!
TKS FOR UR VIDEOS TRUE UNFORTUNATELY THERE ARE TOO MANY PEOPLE ABUSED AT HOME,THAT RECEIVE ONLY NEGATIVITY AND BAD WORDS BY THEIR FAMILY AND THE PEOPLE AROUND THEM, THESE KINDA NEED HELP,IT IS NOT THEIR FAULT,I HOPE U WILL BE SOON SAVED!
1:44 The danger of this solution of "understanding" your anxiety is that one rationalizes it away, throwing love out of the window with it. The evolutionary approach (including evolutionary biology and neuropsychology) is very popular at the moment, but once people use it to calm themselves down, the idea of love has lost its fascination for them too. Yes, the approach also underlines that "we humans" need company and closeness, but only out of an instrumental rationale. There's nothing inherently good about life from this perspective, at best your behavior makes you feel good. Unfortunately, this also makes helping other people (like in the case of coaching) look like just one more evolution-driven move to get a survival advantage.
I pat myself on the back and smooth my hair. There was no one to comfort me. I am in touch with my inner child and she sits with me. We commiserate together.
I have a new crush on someone which was fine, but we will be going our separate ways next week and unless they choose to connect w me outside of how we know each other this is goodbye. So my anxiety is going completely bonkers and I can't even approach them to request we stay in contact as it would be inappropriate because we work together. After next week we will no longer be coworkers. I just have to accept if it is goodbye and I need to soothe my anxiety as there is no action I can take.
I just want to move on and forgot about all ...I get offers for dates but how I can move on ... those guys I need to go give them a chance but the same time to not stringing them along ...I don't even want him back anymore ..I just want to move on ..be happy again and enjoy to meeting new people !!!🤐😢
Me and my girlfriend were together for 5 years. We each had our own kids and bought a house together a year ago. We also work together and it’s not a job I want to leave. We broke up 2 weeks ago and I found out a week ago she is talking to another guy and getting close to him... a guy we work with so I have to see it every day. My anxiety is the worst it has ever been in my life. How can I get through this? Any help would be appreciated!
Meph # much better now, thank you. That was the worst breakup I’ve ever been through. She lied to me for the first two months after saying she wanted to work it out with me all while she was seeing this guy and telling me she wasn’t, but I knew better. It took me going over there at 4am on a weekend she said she was going to put some serious thought into what we need to have a better relationship and work it out. I still had a key to the house we shared and caught her in bed with the guy. The worst part about it was the mind games and playing with me not being honest. Now I am with someone who is way better for me and living the best days of my life. As cliche as it sounds that breakup was the best thing that could have happened and it happened at just the right time. Sucks how it went down and how long it drug out for, but I’m a better person now because of it
Hi Craig and Margaret! I told my avoidant dismissive boyfriend that l need to feel fulfilled in a relationship. He asked what did he miss. I told him that he seems to have a tendency to cancel plans the last minute. I told him that l know he cares and l like him a lot what makes it really hard but l just don’t feel fulfilled as a woman. He hasn’t responded to this. Do you think this text really hurt him?
wait, people can't recall the faces of almost everyone they ever met? I can recall the faces of people I have met 10 years ago. Is it really impossible for some people to not even remember the faces of the people they interact with? How do you remember who your friends are if you don't remember what they look like? I can see a detailed picture of the entire person in my mind whenever I think of their names, I guess I am really secure then?
I have a question why has my possible ex wife made plans to meet up a couple of times and backed out why is she backing out on seeing me? Please advise
Just one question. She broke up with me but at the same time found out she cheated, I cheated too by flirting via text nothing big but cheated too. (but she didn't knew until I found out she cheated, the I told her) The thing is, I told her why she did it and her response was that we weren't together. What??? I told my family and friends that I cheated and she cheated but she still saying that I'm saying bs, that I'm lying. Whaaaaaat??? She's mad at me for telling the truth?? I want to fix the relationship but I don't know, I started NC 2 weeks ago and she's posting confusing stuff, she miss me and then she's saying that is better with out me, she even started talking bad about the relationship, acting like the victim, I don't get it. Will she ever feel guilt? I just wanna work things out, I made mistakes too and that's why I'm not angry at her. We had something very special and I think she's wasting all of this, but I don't know for what
I feel like that too. Do the pros outweigh the cons? It's never taken this long for me to get over an ex before. While CC & CM both do great work, these videos continue to make me think "what if I just handled the breakup better? Would she be back by now?".. I have grown a lot and I'm way more knowledgeable now because of Craig, but I wonder if this "hope" is just a waste. That said, I have "moved on" in the sense that I've been dating since May. Good question though.
brother I hear you i had actually forgotten this ex in past weeks until I saw this video and now im back to same feelings. I also wonder if hope is useless as i now start to date others. seems like we waste life thinking of someone who not love us anymore. that makes me question self value. why are we thinking of someone who not love us? someone who has not saying anything for many months like we not exist? this is the question...
@@chrisbryant2283 It's becoming more and more clear to me that "success stories" are more the rarity than I originally thought. I've been seeing a lot of the same faces posting on here and other coaches videos for months. I think coaches have to re-evaluate when an ex may come back. 3-4 months always seemed like an optimistic guess. For avoidants, it seems like 1 year-Never. Being a relationship coach is a business, and while Craig is probably the most empathetic of them all, that's just the truth of the matter. If someone new is reading this, and you just got broken up with, don't for one second keep your life on hold. Live life like she's never coming back.
Brother @thelegionary07 I too realize that the success stories seem to not be a frequent occurance as I have seen many of same people here for months on end and at that time they were also months in no contact... I heard someone heard from their ex 19 years later so it is pointless to wait. especially 19 years of ones life. its all a business for them. I mean look at the prices for these coachings. they do help but it is still their way of living. I think with this conclusion we should just stop watching these videos and watch videos about dating as that will make us focus on other things that are not tied with the past as thinking about ex all the time is really tiring and not good for health
If you want to move on, focus on videos about self-improvement and not about getting an ex back. This video doesn't talk about re-attraction, so I'm not sure why it made you have bad feelings. As for success stories, I get the feeling that people that do get successes just stop coming to the channel and we never hear about it. I've seen many comments where someone will post that their ex reached out and they never follow-up. Coach Craig often mentions that people don't like their stories to be shared. I know you feel discouraged and maybe you should move on. But Ive heard so many success stories in real life that I know anything can happen. Sometimes it takes a few weeks and other times it can take a year. It all depends on how long you are willing to have hope. And I don't mean sit around waiting.
