It's the first time I hear someone mentioning the environmental guilt, and it's 100% relatable for my case. I try to declutter as eco as possible: I donate or sell good quality things, hand over everything I can for recycling and upcycling. So when I find an item which isn't good for any of these... It's so hard to just trow it away. Eco friendly decluttering already takes a lot of effort and time, and this guilt makes it even worse. I have to always remind myself that I can't save everything from a landfill. I wish I could! But it's not possible. Thank you for your thoughts and suggestions ❤
Yea, it's the hardest, we keep those items and a flood could drag it away in the current, or to think how everything is produced and sold in excess will end up in a landfill really kills me, not to mention the time consuming process especially when thinking about moving somewhere and having a deadline... 😖😖😖
I had to work through the social pressure about how I "must have" a Christmas Tree. I have asthma and allergies and a live or artificial tree both are problematic. Also my decorations had negative memories connected. Last autumn, I hauled the tree and box of decorations ( minus a few items I wanted) to a thrift store. I am still so glad. I'd rather have a few treasures for the holidays and splurge on a floral arrangement. I have a ton more storage space now as well. All I kept fits in a short rubber made tub with room to spare. I also hate couches. I find them uncomfortable. But people said I had to have one. Now I have comfortable chairs and when people gather, they can face each other to talk. My living room feels more spacious. Books were hard to give up. But now I give them to the library to sell or put into circulation. Or a book exchange at a neighborhood has station. I still have a lot of books but the excess is only what I haven't read.
I've been able to help my financial guilt by switching my mindset. Instead of seeing it as a financial failure (e.g. feeling bad when thinking about a tough time when I bought things to fill an emotional void and ending up with tons of stuff I don't need or use), I take it as a lesson to prevent me from falling back into that cycle again. The knowledge that it will ALL be tossed out one day by someone is also helping to change my mindset to a more minimalist one. My husband and I are also about ready to break it to our families that we don't want Christmas presents for ourselves, and we want to limit gifts for our children to one present each (per grandparent pair). We're anticipating pushback because they're of the generation that associates holiday tradition with tons and tons of material gifts but we also know that over the years they'll get used to it and it'll be better for everyone in the long run. Bonus, no more church bazaar trinkets or re-gifts because my MIL can't think of anything else to give me.
Monica Your comment helped me. I used to shop to fill a void. Everything reminds me of the money I wasted and I get stuck trying to clear it out. I have beautiful things but they feel like a ball and chain now! Trying to tackle some things today... wish me luck. ✌🏼
I love what you said about environmental guilt- that is one of the big things that has kept me hanging on to crap. Time to bite the bullet- get rid of it, and commit to not reacquiring.
Just remember the people who inspire you to feel environmental guilt through the media, politics and in some cases even "charity" are the same ones involved with the very big, very polluting multinational companies 🙃
When I first started decluttering my closet last year, I struggled some with identity guilt. A lot of what I owned back then was cute or trendy, but it just wasn't me. I'm not one to go to late night parties or clubs, but I do go to the occasional dinner out with family, or to a concert every now and then. I do feel like it's easy to struggle with identity guilt or even with the idea of who we should be (our fantasy self) and how our possessions can reflect that. This is where minimalism has helped me the most because when we ask ourselves those honest questions about how we feel right now in the present moment, it can lead to changes that are either difficult or freeing. With that being said, I'm happy with where I'm at now and I enjoy having a capsule wardrobe for each season :)
I love this, Amy! I can relate to not being the type of goes out to clubs and parties of that nature either, but I used to feel like I sort of needed some of those things!
I'm finally getting to the point where I'm getting rid of things that I've saved for "someday ". They've been in storage for so long that I don't even remember what they are. If a time had come when I needed any of those things, I would have gotten a new one because I didn't remember having the original in the first place. I've wasted so much money storing things that are doing absolutely nothing for me. I've been slowly going through boxes and have been getting rid of at least 50% of it all
I LOVE your channel Sarah 😃 You've created such a lovely community. The comment section is always lovely and boy is that rare... that's because of You! Congratulations 🎈
I’ve had identity guilt before but as we get older we change and having gone back to the items again when I got older I really didn’t want them and was able to move on from them 💕 xx
Family guilt is a big problem for me. No one else in the family wants the stuff but I'm getting crap for wanting to get rid of stuff. I can just wait a year for everyone to forget I asked them all if they want the items and quietly get rid of everything, I guess. I mean, why should I store things for 5 or 6 years until a niece/nephew has their own place and might want it?
I’m holding on to Knick knacks and figurines of my mother in laws because my husband won’t get rid of them. He loves them so much that there in a box in our storage area somewhere....lol! I don’t know what the point is of holding on to clutter that someone else loved when all you do is store it in a box. It is honestly so frustrating when I’m desperately trying to declutter my 3700 square foot home by myself and I’m physically not well. I sometimes can’t sleep at night as I feel so defeated.
My nieces don't want things. Their kids don't want things. So why am I keeping it? Because my mom taught us we were supposed to hand stuff down. To whom? Nobody wants it. And when I die, they'll just get a dumpster and throw it all away anyway. Nope. I'm taking my house and my decision making back. If I don't want it and nobody else in the family wants it, it's getting donated. Somebody who does want it will find it and enjoy it. Wish I'd figured that out decades ago.
There is tons of guilt around things. For sure we need to focus on the positive values the items bring, which is much easier said than done. Great tips, Sarah!
To me, the thought that someone else might have an idea that I might need to own a certain item in order to feel happy... um, I don't own a home, a car or a couch! Trust me, happiness is not related to owning possessions.
Your the first person I’ve heard talk about identity guilt! Thank you! I just worked through a bunch of clothes from my past self but it took me a couple weeks- I needed to really reintegrate those clothes into my everyday closet vs storage so they became more like clothes instead of memories and got easier and easier to let go. Plus I tried on multiple times w different jeans /tops etc on different occasions, so I was able to move maybe or tailor pile of clothes into donate pile bc felt really confident about it. It really helped me to have these clothes in my everyday now space for two months (!) bc then they didn’t feel do much like my old preserved life in separate closet... so psychological!!
Thanks for the video Sarah. I always feel guilty decluttering stuff but getting better at pushing past the guilt. Sentimental stuff is the hardest. I try to remind myself its really just junk that will end up in the trash one day when I'm dead - sorry thats kinda depressing!
Guilt with decluttering I feel is even more of a struggle these days due to economic insecurity of the world... you don't want to regret letting something you might need 😓
These are spot on examples. I am struggling with higher price items I purchased 20 years old. Things like crystal or China. I am going to give it to family members who may like it. I also struggle with gifts from others.
Environmental guilt can be minimized by spending the time to find your items new homes through the giving economy like freecycle or your local buy nothing group on Facebook. Or disposing/recycling items properly: batteries, paint, electronics etc by taking them to the right depot. I have been on my minimalist journey for over 2 years. I have rehomed many items that could have easily ended up in the trash: freezer burned meat (still safe to eat), left over paint, collection of half used cleaning supplies, various recyclable containers along with many more items with more obvious value. I also have donated many items as it does take more time to gift than to donate, and time is also a resource.
That is very true! There are many things that can be repurposed and recycled properly, but also items that no one actually wants and that are too far gone to be useful to someone else. These are more the items I am referring too.
I'm still working on letting go of things that people bought me (especially birthday gifts) even though I don't like them / the products / clothes AT ALL. But then again, when I declutter them I can maybe make someone else happy by donating those items haha
I had two guitars that I decided to declutter. They were originally gifts- one from my birth dad, and one from my mom. I used to play them in high school and a my first two years in college, but kind of stopped after that. It was really hard to let them go, but thanks to your help I was able to get honest a myself that I wasn’t playing them regularly for year now, and I should sell them to someone who could get more value out of them since they were both in great condition. My mom was sad/ disappointed when she found out bc she had a lot of good memories of me playing for her and my siblings singing along at holidays but I explained a little to her and I think she was able to accept it.
I just discovered your channel and I am so happy to have done so. What you discuss is so helpful and important. Thank you. One of my problem is that I have a 20 year old son, because I wanted to have another child I kept his baby clothes and because it never happened I have developed, as you aptly call it, paralysis against decluttering anything that he wore, read, played with or crafted from his birth to about 5-6 years. Every time I go to try to donate any of the many boxes of his childhood stuff, a cloud of sadness comes over me and I cannot. You covered that in your above video in the segment about memories attached to objects, for me it is both memories and the grief that I never had the second child and I am not sure how to unshackle myself from these feelings.
Great video! It’s funny I help a number of friends and family declutter and I can point out to myself who in my life has what type of what type of the guilt (including myself).
Oh, no, I meant that people say ‘Someday or Oneday I will use this’ ...those days never come haha. It’s good to keep only those things we ARE using. Good video. I saved it.
Bought the book,looking forward to reading it, this is exactly whatiwas looking for,something to deal with different types of guilt that make decluttering hard. 😀🌹
Items ending up in landfills makes me sad. One is certainly the environmental impact (trash is everywhere, and it's something I think about a lot), but also how we don't value items anymore--by this I mean, so much is just seen as a "throw away" in a disposable society. We just throw it away, and it ends up in landfills. We used to value things more highly--yes, it's ultimately just stuff, but it is a bit disheartening to see society just throw things away. If we placed more value on them to begin with (and I mean quality, not hoarding lol), then we (society) wouldn't have so much waste. For example, cell phones. Most phones these days only last a few years, and many people buy a new phone even before they need to.
This is what makes it really hard for me to declutter and is definitely a source of guilt. I am trying to be much more mindful with purchases but they guilt of not being able to recycle or donate some items prevents me from getting rid.
I have been a Minimalist for almost 18 months. I keep thinking I am "there" but my there is never there! HA! I was recently stuck in Family Guilt and Nostalgia Guilt. I have items from past family and my own past. I have been trying to look at it from my nine year old's perspective, what would SHE cherish. But I was still stuck on items. Now realizing it is okay to pick a few very special items that I can honor that person or part of my life instead of keeping "EVERYTHING". I was so overwhelmed with what to keep, what to toss....oh shoot I will just keep it all. Love your perspective on it. THANK YOU!
Thank you! I actually have 3 videos about sentimental items! Most Recent: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-TPNGL2pkD1E.html Examples: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-VV08PuKRg-Q.html Shortest: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-xVd3oO_5wAE.html I hope these help!
Hi Sarah. 💙 Timely tip on gifts as some people are buying for Christmas now. I have a pending toolbox decluttered that falls into number 7, that voice 😂 this helped! Let it go 😻 TFS.
Fantastic! Thanks for guilting the crap out of me for having stuff that will eventually end up in landfill even if I didn't put it there. In all seriousness, that might help me to acquire less. Thanks!
Hi Sarah. Your lighting and the background look fantastic on this video! Sorry I'm not knowledgable on equipment etc but whatever you're doing it looks great! 😃
Excellent examples! I'm struggling with valuable collectibles. I have so much regret in accumulating them only to now have to find a new home for them. I don't mind donating them to a worthy cause but, again, I don't want to see them on a shelf at Goodwill for $1. Any suggestions?
Are you sure they are valuable? I saved a childhood toy that I thought would be collectible memorabilia. I checked on eBay and that toy was only selling for $8.00! If they are in fact valuable to others sell them on Craigslist, Ebay or something similiar.
@@bmoremom8458 I'll have to inventory all items (20 years of Hallmark Ornaments), photograph them and ask at the local antique store. I also have dozens of Hummels - some mint in box.
Thanks, Lois! I think places like Goodwill probably get a lot of these types of items, so I agree with the other comments about trying a consignment shop, flea market, or double checking online to see if they are worth your efforts.
My struggle is electronics like the old giant style TVs and computers I have several that dont work I just dont know how to dispose of them properly. If anyone has any suggestions I would greatly appreciate it.
We have a hazardous waste disposal in our area. They're open everyday but Sunday. They take cans of left over paint, flammable items like turpentine, old engine oil, AND electronics.
To get rid of large electrical items or paint, we contact our city to get information about where to drop these items off or pick up service for recyclables.
I have been thinking of taking pictures of some of my really old stuff that just doesn't fit with my life nowadays. For instance I have trophies from playing in summer softball leagues when I was a teeenager. I am a scrapbooker so I do keep many momentos and add them into my scrapbooks so I actually do use them in a creative way (which I am not giving up) but think things like trophies and really old blankets and things like that could be best remembered in photos in my scrapbooks. Just wonder what place the "big achievements" or big items have in decluttering. Thoughts or suggestions are welcome and I do enjoy your talk about everything becoming trash eventually. I am disgusted most as a geologist when I see all the trash thrown along the edges of roads and highways and though...all the consumables we buy like all the Starbucks cups and other restaurant things that are one time use only and I use something over and over yet it's all trash in the end. I am trying to reduce my environmental footprint to help us all out.
Taking photos is a great approach, Karyn! The amount of trash, especially coming from single-use items is a huge issue and definitely something to continue working towards.
Yes I need help I’m just getting rid of a set of Tudor books that my husband bought me I feel guilty of doing so I know am sending them to the charity and another person will read them gladly but because my hubby bought me them as a gift as I wanted the whole book set I do feel dreadful there in a bag waiting to go it’s so hard to let go am being honest xx
Is there no one else they could be gifted to? And is some of that guilt because you havent spoken to your husband about you and the books parting ways.? He may know someone the books could be re-gifted to. ........just thoughts to ponder.
Yes your right I need to speak to my hubby he’s the nicest hubby in the world I think it’s because I nagged him so much about getting these books I feel horrible and ungrateful which am not I have read every single one of them. But these nobody I know that into the Tudor times like me it’s a shame thankyou for your comment
I am trying to help my mum through her gift guilt, I saw this ugly plate on her counter and was like "can this go out" knowing she hates this style, but nah she cannot give it away because her friend may come to visit and see that it is not out. ARGH so shes keeping it JUST IN CASE her friend who gave it to her ONE day comes to visit but this woman has never been to see them once, she only meets my mum out of the house. -.-
I would love to hear your thoughts on the guilt you experience after decluttering certain items. I purged a lot of stuff after the breakdown of a past relationship which was the right thing to do for me at the time, but now there are certain items I no longer have that I may now need to replace. Just an idea!
There are a few things I have gotten rid of that I very occasionally regret, but many more that I don't regret, or even remember. You have to do what is right for you at the time.
@@AbundantlyMinimal No. I've given away all of my pregnancy clothes and just kept the ones I still need for breastfeeding. I'm hoping I'll soon-ish fit into the cool dresses I used to wear before I got pregnant.
I am having a really hard time getting rid of clothing! I am losing weight and am down 70 pounds and NONE of my stuff fits right. I had a lot of stuff I love but now I don’t know what to do because I also don’t want to go on a shopping spree and replace everything. Idk I’m in a pickle.
Congrats on the weight loss! That is huge! Maybe you can view it as a gradual thing...such as getting one new piece that fits correct over a certain period of time?
Troye Does The Art - Clothing is my biggest difficulty too. There was a time that I shopped to relieve stress and I have way too much. It's such nice stuff I get stuck. But I no longer work in an office full time so it just hangs there in perfect condition reminding me of all the money I spent. 🙈 I'm going to think of the people who will be thrilled to find it and need it. Freedom in giving. Good luck.
We just completed the 30-day Minimalism Game, and some of the most difficult items to declutter are due to financial guilt. Thank you for this video! Check out our videos if you have time :)
