ladies, stay calm. Most guys don't have multiple women who are interested in them. If anything they only have the idea that they might get other women. Women in general have more choices than men because women in general are more picky.
You all have to remember, the guys I talk about in my videos are the bad guys. Not all guys are like this. At the same time, these are the men YOU attract. So that says something in itself. I don't blame you though. I thought the same thing with women until I understood how atttraction works. You will be fine. Like I say, if you work on yourself thing will magically fall in place. There are a lot of good guys out there.
Thank you Elliott. I think it's important not to stress the idea of "you attract only losers because of something you're doing" because it doesn't feel good. I feel like I generally have some good self-esteem. I have a great example of how men should treat women from my dad and from my upbringing. I would be considered super-conservative by today's standards and I have "high" standards for how I want to see a man act and how I should be treated. If a guy is texting me and calling me sexy before he even meets me, to me that screams "I'm only thinking about sex." Case in point: the guy I talked to last night was calling me sexy and asking me to send him a picture. I told him I'm not the girl he's looking for. He said give it a chance and I said I would have if I wasn't sensing a "I'm just looking to get laid" vibe. He didn't say anything after that so it might as well have been a confirmation of my suspicions. I know there are good guys out there. I feel like I met one but wasn't feeling quite confident enough on that evening and there was an audience so I couldn't bring myself to do anything. He seemed quite shy but maybe he was sending a signal in the only way he felt comfortable. I don't know if I'll get to meet him again.
I can't even believe... I was crazy about a guy for MONTHS. I even had a phone session with you about him. He expressed little to no interest every single day. Now, I'm cool with being friends, am being wooed by another man (that he knows and even warned one day "you better treat her nice") and rarely come around. He rarely sees me now. My social media has been littered with the fun times I've been having with male friends. Last night he kept staring at me and moved close and said several times, "I think about you a lot. I'll be up at 3am thinking about you." I was SHOCKED!! Scarcity and competition really do work! I am so glad I have been watching your videos.
Seriously! You are THE bomb! Your advise is spot on, no beating around the bush, no sugar coating, straight up awesome. I binge watch your videos & lightbulbs go off in my mind when things I've done have made guys act the way they have. Only now do I realize the things I was doing were actually pushing them away!! Gotta say thank you for the advise & keep up the amazing work. You're building a better community of people & how we 'tackle' life & relationships. Peace & love 😊✌🏻
2:18 "man I hate having a mustache..." the random things that pop in your videos, crack me up. Dude, you have a good heart. Keep up the good work for humanity 👍
oh god I just love the way you are straight to the point. I just love it!!! you are FABULOUS!! another terrific video. ladies listen to this brilliant man.he truly tells it like it IS . FABULOUS!!!!
Oh my god! There are two guys I've been talking to and when they suddenly went silent, I followed you're advice and pulled back- AND NOW BOTH OF THEM CAME BACK! holy crap! Guys really do test you! Thanks a lot Elliot!
It's so easy, just have a few male friends and hang out with them even when you got a boyfriend/husband. It's a foolproof way that your guy is allways worried that you wake up one morning and decide that the other dude is better and chase you bcs of that lol
I just feel like mens attraction short term and long term just boils down to do other men find you hot, if so they seek lock you down. I guess me and my flaws won't participate
Kathleen White I disagree somewhat with this video. I am 49. I only put men interested me on my Snapchat. New contacts and past FWBs I want back. A high Snapchat score can be a turnoff to a guy. I post myself always alone though there might blurred people in the background. If I included men, it would come off sad like I was trying to make a recent ex jealous. Or a new contact would think I was off the market. However, the places I go are frequently date places. I almost never add text to a Snapchat. Keep up the mystery why I am there, who I am with? I shut down my Facebook and men get frustrated trying to find anyway to reach me if they are not on Snapchat or text. Because of the frustration, they skip the backdoor ways and ask me out to my face. I never put sexy pics on my Story. Number one complaint lately of men to me is women posting sexy pics on Facebook. They are dating someone and feel like she just gives the goods away. Men want special, just for him pics.
I also think by having your own life and pulling away yourself and being mysterious is also respecting them. Respecting them as a guy. I worked this out via a mistake due to time differences and illness and something I asked him about in my personal life which was unrelated. He basically just said I'm resting I've been sick taking it easy, etc ps. Don't worry everything is ok haha Personally I'm not very good with timing as I have memory problems and he was a friend for a while before dating so he understands my genuine mistakes. Now I've realised this as I have standards, I'm keeping busy and open to talking to other guys. Thanks for your great videos!
Elliot, I’ve noticed that over on the videos for men, other coaches all tell the men to sit back and make HER chase. Same tactics you recommend but exactly the opposite. None of them say “hey, maybe she pulled away because you aren’t putting in any effort!” Duh. Isn’t this creating a stand-still between the genders? 🙄 How can we be high value women if we are always the ones reaching out? Can you please address this? I’m so confused.
what an awesome guy u are .. thank you for the honesty and clarity. very straight fwd advice. bravo :) . keep giving us good gals tips and knowledge in dating world. amen...
I play it chill and the guy usually comes to me. But it seems like they just want to text forever or make sure I'm still around. I'm not clingy but how else to build social proof. Is it wise to talk about other guys?
In my early 20's I was that kind of woman I didn't want to be anymore. My behaviors was similar to yours with this girl. It's never too late to turn the tables to be the best version of ourselves. Thanks Elliot! Btw, I like when you say "hun" in your videos.
So I’m with a guy who is pretty hot and confident. He’s not exclusive and we’re honest about that. Blah blah blah...I’m still with him but give him shit all the time. I’m needy, insecure and get upset with him for things that can easily be solved with me breaking up with him. Yet he still contacts me and wants to see me. Is it possible for some guys to be that desperate?
Awesome so request please! ?!? Once a woman gets her ducks in a row where do you suggest she goes or what should she do to get out,date,find some men to 'stroke her ego'-practice dating and being confident with men and be friends with to build her social confidence and not dwell on what went wrong in the past, to take to positive aspects of the breakups and move forward in life!
Get in front of as many men as possible. If you want to practice your dating and conversation game then go to bars and clubs or online dating. If you want to meet quality men, find them during the day (coffee shops, stores, gym, events, join a club you're interested in, mall, etc).
Question!! Should we add our crushes on social media, such as snapchat, or IG? Or is it better to create "scarcity" by not being so accessible, whether it be physically or technologically?
Olivia Leigh I met someone a couple months ago and we started dating long distance. It’s tough. Some weeks we go every day texting and other days we’ll go a week without speaking(which is annoying but I never reach out when he pulls away). We went on vacation together recently but It’s frustrating and I don’t know how to create scarcity and value living 1000 miles away. How do I create social proof? Is there a video on this?
I think I'm pathetic that I'm pining over a guy who admits he just wants a sex partner. Playing the rules of scarcity, didn't text him over 2 weeks... he keeps me around as I know he likes me, he's like the cats meow big time!! Trying to show value...that I'm not clingy.. He came around once, but now he's gone silent again. I know he has other girls and I'm ridiculous for making him a priority, but he's very exciting... and not sure I'm ready for a relationship w/ a good guy just yet. I know I just have to get out and meet more men. Get this guy off my mind. Attached to him, but don't feel I'm showing that side of me to him.
What If a guy snaps you everay day saying goodmorning beautiful after giving them space and not always replying to it but you know damn well he's proably sending that to other women too Just pull away and never talk to him again or what lol ??? I like him we had a great first date showed no red flags, even said" I like that your mysterious' and he seemed to like me back a lot but honestly after the date I am getting player vibes espcially after watching your vedios Which have been supper helpful by the way!!!!
great advice thanks to your videos I have stopped texting my ex it is only day 2 though I feel confident I can do this 😊 what self help did you get to help with your attraction with this lady as I am in that situation myself
how can you be high value by having no job and having no choice but to live with your parents at the moment? how does a girl make up for being unemployed, on social security benefits/disability allowance and having to live with your over-protective manipulative mother, struggling being called for a job interview, due to only having a university degree and computing cert, but no job history...????
But what do i do if im trying to act like i have social proof... but end up losing my instagram followers.. i had 97 now im down to 93 and sure people are liking my pictures but i dont like to have only selfies.. which though tend to be the only interesting photos for guys im dating... ;/
Hey....what if i block him on whatsApp to show that im not needy..?or instead of blocking him ...what if i upload more pics as my DP which show that i have social proof ??what is the best option ?
I'm very curious about this...when you shaped up and wasn't obsessed with her anymore...did she ever come back to you? As in reach out to you in the way you wished she would have reached out to you when you were obsessed?
After the incident I changed my life around and went to a different college, hung with a different group, and so on. During that time I met a girl who was 10x better and dated that girl for a while. But after that girl and I broke up waaayy down the road, the ex came back and we were sexual but never dated. I didn't want to date her. By that time I was a completely different person and didn't see her as gf material.
If a guy can’t see my value I move on because I have a lot to offer can’t be bothered by a blind fool. Too much fish in the see the right one will come along that’s a fact
What if i do have social proof but i'm not interested in dating. I mean I wasn't interested in dating until this guy came and now I really like him but i think he takes me for granted and he is losing interest. The thing is I know dating other guys will increase his attraction for me but i just don't want to date right now ( he just is a special case since I haven't liked someone this way in a long time). I feel at disvantage. I don't know what to do :/
how does it come off if you have a bunch of homies? Does it build social proof if he's kicking with me and one of my platonic buddies and said buddy is validating him, by complimenting his music or art. what's your opinion on this? I feel it's good to introduce him to my friends even if they are guys, especially if they get along great
A girl that is around a lot of guy friends is a good thing. Just as a guy who is around a lot of girls is a good thing. It sends a message letting the other person know she has some social proof and she's okay for now.
She's still waiting a response: Dilzz TennzHey....what if i block him on whatsApp to show that im not needy..?or instead of blocking him ...what if i upload more pics as my DP which show that i have social proof ??what is the best option ?2 weeks ago•
Nope. lol. You "reacted". Especially out of spite. It's a contradiction. By you blocking him, it shows you care. Just do you. Don't do it. Just do you.
I think guys are idiots if they really are like this. Like, if someone really likes him, then they consider that a bad thing? (could miss a really good match this way) But cool video, and I think that, sadly the video message seems right.
+lgg7168 I agree with you to an extent however I know where the guys are coming from I've been on both sides. I've been the clingy one and I know how I was coming off and still did it anyway and I was the one who was getting clinged on and it was annoying as f*** lol. If a girl really expects me to date her when she's like that hell no lol. Guys aren't thinking oh my God she likes me too much I'm not going to like her. It's the way she goes about that which reveals deeper issues.
I guess it is a matter of respect to give a guy the space he asks for by not reaching out himself. Maybe, however, all this talk of red flags makes the informed men decide that even normal things are already red flags because they look like what the literature calls red flags, and categorize someone too soon.
I wouldn't say that. Red flags are red flags. lol. I am talking to a girl right now and she's awesome. She's not showing any red flags and doing everything perfectly. She doesn't even know I do this for a living yet. She's in a healthy state of mind and has a lot of confidence in herself ontop of being very busy and productive.
