How To Handle Toxic People

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How to Handle Toxic People
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Hey, guys! Here's another video for you on how to handle toxic people from friends to family members and just shut down that negative behavior. There's times when it feels like all the charisma in the world just won't stop one person from ruining your day. Now, maybe this person is a complainer, maybe they are a whiner, or maybe there's someone who is verbally abusive to you but whatever it is, they have this toxic pattern of behavior and it's really starting to bring you down.
That's why in this video, I want to talk about how to handle difficult toxic people in a way that is charismatic. You need to separate from a toxic person because what's keeping you close to them is not something that ought to. When I've talked to people and they have left, no one has ever regretted it; you would be shocked how much you can be dragged down by a negative person in the workplace.
3:21 Think concretely what you want a toxic person to change
1:25 Find the timing to approach a toxic person
1:53 Give them a sense that you're approaching them differently this time
4:47 Ask permission to remind them gently if they do the negative behavior again
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1 окт 2024

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Комментарии : 1,4 тыс.

@Tubeytime 6 лет назад

If somebody can be reasoned with, then are they really that toxic?

@muffinguy910 6 лет назад

Thats a really good question.

@MisterL2_yt 6 лет назад

Yes, they can.

@wnrandom98 6 лет назад

Politicians...

@aissagaby8556 6 лет назад

Good point. I don't really like that word "toxic" to characterize people. I would say there are different levels of difficulty and unawareness among people.

@Charismaoncommand 6 лет назад

Then this video is not really for that somebody and I guess it's your call how to deal with him (1:31). Any other input would be awesome! This is kind of like the last resort and if the steps didn't work, then it's either acceptance or separation. But yeah, I thought that was a good question so I can see this being asked a lot . Pinned! Thanks for watching, you guys! :D -Warren

@AchieversWorkshop 6 лет назад

The best way to deal with toxic people is by not dealing with them anymore.

@teacherfromthejungles6671 5 лет назад

what if your parents are toxic?

@HoNiGLaNo 5 лет назад

@@teacherfromthejungles6671 the same, unfortunately.

@teacherfromthejungles6671 5 лет назад

@@HoNiGLaNo that's why I moved to another country. If you're far from them, they start to "love you so much".

@AzphrinxOfficial 5 лет назад

@@teacherfromthejungles6671 You cant do that kind of opinion and preventable of the comment

@teacherfromthejungles6671 5 лет назад

@@AzphrinxOfficial I don't quite understand you, mate

@russellewelchiii 6 лет назад

You would be shocked by how much you could be drugged by a negative person.

@amberleaf7 6 лет назад

lol

@josepimentel1087 5 лет назад

In every sense of the phrase...

@Ash2theB 5 лет назад

@David Gibson Bill Cosby just put on act. He wore mask for most his life, he was Control freak aswell

@allmusicplays 5 лет назад

Quotations

@EnFyr 4 года назад

You have no idea. 11 years man.. I must be the most gullible person alive.

@therenzer6848 6 лет назад

Uninstall League of legends

@ShirleyCheungme 6 лет назад

The Renzer lol

@jli627 6 лет назад

@profbfc 6 лет назад

This is actually good advice. Chances are if you are constantly playing Lol, you are the one who is or has turned toxic over time.

@dralox1448 6 лет назад

Most multiplayer games in general have such toxic communities, but at least there are good singleplayer games out there that gives you some good ol' peace and quiet for a change.

@kushkungvivo744 6 лет назад

Dralox Mario is a good game

@donaldnicol8415 6 лет назад

I just don't talk to toxic people and avoid them like the plague.

@aidaljaljevic 5 лет назад

Donald Nicol same

@Dubhe68 5 лет назад

But how you know they are toxic if you didn't talk to them

@phyliciataylor2054 4 года назад

Superlemon when you get that red flag or flags run. I will not be less open to new people. Just accept their character take necessary actions.

@ganymeade5151 4 года назад

If you have to live or work with them, you cannot avoid them.

@Butterflyyyy9 4 года назад

@@ganymeade5151 Yes you can

@dolphinlover6438 4 года назад

I literally almost lost my sanity dealing with those people Now the memories are haunting me while im trying to sleep- Literally I would never talk to those type of people EVER again

@goshlike76 3 года назад

Time heals. Keep walking. We made it this far, we won't back down now.

@ABB14-11 2 года назад

Damn, must've been intense. I've been insulted and disrespected a lot, sometimes in front of a lot of people. It was tough and a blow to my self-esteem. What I will tell you is that one day, it won't bother you and you will like yourself no matter what

@cjmischel4010 2 года назад

I understand what you mean. The first step is seperation, which you already did. The the rest of this process is healing over time (as previously mentioned). Hope things get better for you

@yashwardhansingh4787 Год назад

I recommend you see a therapist

@hanzogang798 6 лет назад

My whole family is toxic asf

@shootingstar3371 6 лет назад

Sergio Gabriel same

@hanzogang798 6 лет назад

Hence why im going to get the fuck out

@NPCdot 6 лет назад

its probs just you

@mecasunny 6 лет назад

I feel your pain bro. My mother is a very toxic person,make me feel like a pile a shit all the time..

@TheReal_Dirty_Dan 6 лет назад

Maybe you too sensitive

@sjege 6 лет назад

I confronted my dad years ago with that I didn't want him in my life like the way he was. 'was', he changed for me. He became a better person. He's not perfect but he doesn't have to be.

@deerclaudia 6 лет назад

That's great to hear it:)!!

@tiffanypersaud3518 5 лет назад

Stan, that’s beautiful man. Thanks for sharing that. And I’m so happy that it worked out for you between you and your dad.

@independenttransport2559 4 года назад

That's awesome! Tried with my Dad too. Tried.

@ganymeade5151 4 года назад

My Dad and step father not did care about what my mother or me thought, wanted, or felt. So one day, my real Dad left for Japan, and we never saw him again. My step father was always cold, distant, and mean. My mother told me never to try to contact my real father. I abandoned my family therefore. Many families are very flawed. Lesson Learned: You cannot always depend on your family for support. Sad but true.

@sjege 2 года назад

@@messyhessy6318 Nope

@unleashingpotential-psycho9433 6 лет назад

We are the average of the people we spend the most time with. I feel like we need to all get rid of the toxic people in our lives in order to better ourselves.

@naissketching395 6 лет назад

True

@yeswing10 5 лет назад

So true. Being kind to toxic people only makes you look weak in their eyes.

@brianpan6453 5 лет назад

B.s.

@MrTheSetter 5 лет назад

I hate that I even have contemplate leaving my wife of 16yrs. I’ve been unhappy and been trying to get her to love me for over 20+years. Time to clean my room. Start over and not be such a pu55y

@4Mikes4Mindset4 4 года назад

@@MrTheSetter 7 months later, what went down?

@rorysmakingamovie 6 лет назад

I just wish these people could understand why they push everyone away

@Qwert0mietek 5 лет назад

Telling them might sometimes be a good strategy. Not all the time, even not most of the time probably, but even for these let's say 10% of them it may be worth it.

@ganymeade5151 4 года назад

Some are autistic, antisocial, and many just don't care. I think in this oversensitive age, we sometimes expect too much of others.

@karlb3475 3 года назад

The reality is they wish they understood too and their toxic behavior is a cry for that understanding so that they can be their authentic self and not push people away but due to stunted emotional growth brought on by personal cognitive dissidence that they are simply being rejected for who they are versus how they are communicating themselves their toxicity manifest to a point we're either they recognize the flaws in their emotional communication and adapt or they do nothing because they think nothing they can do will fix it

@WilliamMcAdams 3 года назад

I told a long term friend about there behavior, and it seemed to work for a few months... Then he built defenses, and offenses, based around my critiques. Basically, he noticed I was right, then started covering his tracks in those areas. Overall, I don't believe it was conducive - but it may work with some. Although, I felt much more confident in approaching harsh people after that altercation. Overall, highly recommended it.

@Lelephant-7eVz1988 6 лет назад

Could you make a video on how to realize if you're toxic?

@GG-tb4ut 5 лет назад

If you are negative, complaining, whining, gossiping, criticizing most of the time

@tiffanypersaud3518 5 лет назад

Pepe Álvarez, bruh. Yes.

@rileythewolf8960 5 лет назад

I think you just ask your close friends and family that. As in ask them what are the ways that you may have made them uncomfortable or presented yourself in a way that isn’t aligned with your beliefs. Once they tell you(and they will, so be ready to take the hits) then ask for patience as you embark on another round of changed behavior. Those who truly care about your development will give you the patience to grow and make your inevitable mistakes.

@justadult3493 5 лет назад

I think I am toxic. I do whine and complain a lot, but not unjustified.

@bard1250 5 лет назад

Just Kid you can’t self diagnose toxicity because your mind will justify it like you just did. If you seem to have problems with all the people in your life, work, family, friends then that is a good indication

@vm3mm3mv29 6 лет назад

If you think everyone is toxic The chances are you are the toxic one

@Feber2001 6 лет назад

Not always.

@noahmuskett9540 6 лет назад

Clay Allison 99% of the time

@shaadjack2233 6 лет назад

The above OP is what toxic people tell themselves to deflect criticism.

@07speeding 6 лет назад

Not currently

@asriael116 6 лет назад

No matter who is the toxic one, separation will grant the non-toxic person inner peace

@Micoolaw 6 лет назад

What If the toxic person is your best friend and roommate. It’s weird because they are your best friend, and you both like doing most of the same activities, but they just have an energy that spending too much time around them drives you insane

@JadeOh181 6 лет назад

Micoola people are best friends with you for their own reasons and it may not be the same as your reasons. It's up to you to establish boundaries that you uphold and tell them firmly what you will not put up with. Some people don't have the same values as you . I was in an emotionally, mentally and almost physical abusive relationship that I had to decide for myself where to draw the line and separate if I had no choice which I did in the end. Yes, it was a very difficult decision but I am so glad I did though not without paying a price.

@LemonSte 6 лет назад

I was in the same position except thank god we never lived together; it ended pretty horribly and dramatically. If i were you i would really examine the nature of your friendship, what you both get out of it, whether its healthy for you - weigh the pros and cons. If you decide it's healthier to part ways, i'd do it gradually as the way i went was incredibly traumatic.

@amaracea 6 лет назад

They’re not your best friend. Trust me. Best friend is a term reserved for a relationship that goes both ways.

@Micoolaw 6 лет назад

Well I feel like he is my best friend, because idk who else would be my best friend. I definitely think in his eyes that I’m his best friend, but he’s been getting under my skin more and more. He’s become very structured and rigid since getting a job for the government, whereas my persuits are creative and I need unpredictabilities in my life. Maybe we’re just growing a part since college, but I’m about to sign a new lease with him for the next year, but I have no other options in mind.

@Abraxis86 6 лет назад

If you struggle with the idea now imagine how much worse it will be in years time after you've invested that much more time into the relationship.

@tiffanypersaud3518 5 лет назад

“Enduring abuse comes out in other ways.” That is true. I’m SO GLAD somebody said it!

@Tsukiko.97 6 лет назад

Checking the comment sections on RU-vid sometimes is like checking under the toliet seat of a public restroom.

@YeshuaReal 6 лет назад

Abyssinia Empire right lol

@dew.adventures6712 6 лет назад

Great analogy 👍

@undeniablySomeGuy 5 лет назад

you might find a good piece of gum :D

@Sarah-re7cg 5 лет назад

Abyssinia Empire HAHAHAHAHAHA this is amazing. I agree.

@HelloThere-nd7px 4 года назад

Lol so true you are underrated

@Nyan_Kitty 6 лет назад

Completely cutting ties with certain family members was one of the best things I've ever done. Not being doubted, criticised or manipulated in such horrible ways as I was gave me an opportunity to change my own ways completely. I have a way more positive way of thinking now and feel like I am actually in control of my own life (even though I'm basically just as clueless as before XD)

@shaunonsite 6 лет назад

Here's a quick and easy way to deal with toxic people: drop them. No fuss and no drama and you move on with your life.

@alextorres6146 5 лет назад

Shaun On Site what if they just keep on coming back what would I have to do in that situation

@farinkanurrahmah7309 4 года назад

Yeah, drop them, make them cant breath in your shoes. No deal with that vampire. They have no emphaty and so rude!

@ganymeade5151 4 года назад

If you watch Reality Shows on TV, you will see many toxic people: Kardashians, Orange County, etc. Reality Show people are often at each others' throats, and intentionally creating problems and chaos. Toxics are a complex and varied lot. Sometimes Toxics are just bored and edgy.

@rizla8602 2 года назад

@@alextorres6146 gray stone method, inform yourself about it, because when they sence it they will push harder, so that's why I am saying inform yourself about it. Books that could help you: Emotional Vampires; Laws of human nature-by Robert Greene; in one chapter he described more than most of the books in whole tome Never split the difference-by Criss Vos; this one is actually book for traders but it can help with toxic people. My tip: I use it slighty, just to make them be heard to make them happy , and keep self away as soon as posible. Short tips: -Don't argue -dont try to change them, what we can see as advise they see it as criticism -DO NOT uncower them!!! -Learn, there are books on that topic and also a lot of video material on RU-vid, use it

@TheG7thcapo 2 года назад

When i hear a toxic guy rants about all complains. I just put my earphones on and concentrate on my work.

@whoareu-podcastaboutlifeat257 6 лет назад

I really like #2. Setting boundaries from early on is crucial with this kind of people. By telling them that you are not okay with being treated the way they are treating you and exactly what kind of changes you wish to see in them, it empowers you not just in their eyes but yours too. If you believe you have power then you'll have power. If you believe you're a doormat, then forever a doormat you shall be! If this person is at all halfway decent, they'll snap out of their nonsense and try to be better. If not, if that fails, then separating yourself from this person is the best and final solution. Just gotta believe there's something/someone better out there.

@justsaying07 3 года назад

agree, setting boundaries are important right at the start dealing with toxic people. How others continue to treat us badly depends on how we continue to allow them to. We need to show them we love & respect ourselves so they need to do so

@sinpfiec1047 2 года назад

To be Frankly I'm fine dealing to that toxic person, I could handle it pretty well but since it's a family member and he literally deteriorating the environment I can't just go and separate myself. More often than not we lecture and give him advise (I'm the oldest child dealing with toxic middle one), what makes me irritates more is that he usually bully my youngest last brother, I defended him most of the time but still when I'm only paying attention to myself, I usually hear cursing and yelling, and I realized I had no power when it comes to protecting my siblings. I think it kinda reflects the normalize toxic media to him now, he's on his phone day and night, hes school work is piling up and he doesn't want to do it no matter what we do, so we took his phone and the laptop we siblings use so. It's kinda nice to see him do things that productive, electronics really mess him up so bad, he starts doing recreational things with them, become more sociable then yesterday they gave him back his gadgets cause he finished his work and he relapsed I suppose, I wanted really bad to become a good brother but I don't know what to do. I'm not that really sociable and usually do things independently but since I'm the oldest son and I wanna make my parents proud I tried my best even though I just got cursed and be trashed everytime. I had no power over others

@zion367 2 года назад

❤ thank you

@PatrickAllenNL 6 лет назад

Shortcut: instead of saying "YOU gotta this or that" start with "I don't like it when this or that happens" Sometimes they don't realize the effect of what they do...this will make them think twice...I hope. Or just kick em in the nutsack

@MariamZawjatNomayri 3 года назад

Effective way to deal with jealous haters and toxic individuals: Avoid them and never give them the privilege to get to know you on a more personal level. We don't need their negativity, self-loathing and insecurities mixed with our good vibes and positive qualities.

@JohnnyBGoode-jm4qp Год назад

I couldn’t agree more. What I’ve noticed about jealous haters and toxic individuals is when you’re their target, they do attempt to know you on a more personal level, especially to discover what hurts or ticks you off the most. If I’m in a position where I can’t yet cut them off (e.g. at work), I mislead them. Afterwards, it’s sort of fun to watch them try to offend you with stuff that actually don’t bother you at all.

@kemo7741 6 лет назад

Hey can you make a video about how to redeem your reputation when people have a false idea about you

@YaroDomo 6 лет назад

rem is waifu : I think it all comes down unto your own mindset. Do these "People" have any significant meaning/Importance to your life? ( Like your Family, Boss, important clients, etc.). Then the only way to "Redeem" yourself is to *Act Accordingly*, because no matter how cliché you may think, Action do speak louder than words. Don't care too much about what people think, stay true, stay healthy.

@indigo714 6 лет назад

There no quick solution. All you can do is open up and talk to more people around you and they realize the rumors are inconsistent with who you really are.

@kathleenstress 5 лет назад

I am not what you think I am You are what you think I am As I am a reflection of you.

@brianpan6453 5 лет назад

@@kathleenstress , profound

@anjjcastanares9179 5 лет назад

Pls pls

@cosmicmorning8206 6 лет назад

I feel like the guy who disliked it just wanted to be first at something for once.

@Buggabugga1337 6 лет назад

This reminded me of a video, go watch it if you want, it's pretty cool (i just love the yter himself, awesome guy imo). the phantom dislike, from kliksphilip

@annastolle9828 5 лет назад

Luke MacInnes Keane ooof

@iangc49 6 лет назад

So I was playing competitive overwatch and told this toxic thrower i really cared about my relashionship with him and wanted to make it better. Sorry to say this doesn´t work =/

@Jesssicaaa2412 6 лет назад

Hahaha thanks for that mental image. That was pretty amazing

@rashuharshu 5 лет назад

Lol . This would work only if that person happens to be your partner

@alindoye8100 4 года назад

@@rashuharshu sorry but it don't work

@grivar 6 лет назад

Has the light switch on the left always been there?

@somedudethatdoesthings8057 5 лет назад

Oh no

@MeatEatingVegan777 5 лет назад

The big question that nobody is asking! Lol I actually like that observation. I love it when people point out little things like that in a video.

@burntgrilledcheesie 5 лет назад

In one video it was super distracting for me. in this one it looks blurred a little, but I did still find myself staring at it sometimes in this video.

@Pelipear 3 года назад

I never noticed that!

@YeshuaReal 6 лет назад

Man I needed this right now lol

@mycaroxas4088 6 лет назад

iamvgregory same

@jojo-xk8ri 6 лет назад

I love this guy, he has such good advice. Thank you! This one really REALLY helped! ^^

@Charismaoncommand 6 лет назад

~ Glad you found it helpful!

@green_eye_gossip 5 лет назад

There’s always someone in the work place!!

@mimull1378 5 лет назад

I love my mom but she spent my whole childhood cutting me out and neglecting me (I was raised by my father) then she started paying more attention to me. She was in really low part of her life, she had hit rock bottom. She finally talked to me but she didn't have any faith in me. She didn't think I would succeed at any thing. She was also verbaly abusive talking down to me a lot. I broke contact. It's still really painful and I hope that she is OK, but I can't have her I my life right now.

@j.h170 4 года назад

I hope you feel better, and I hope that she's okay. You did the right thing, you can't be around a negative person if you're struggling yourself. I hope that when you're both better, that you get to heal and rebuild your relationship because it's important.

@ganymeade5151 4 года назад

Sometimes mothers have to make tough choices in order to support us and themselves. I realize that part of it was my fault, because I was only thinking only of myself, and not about my mother. My expectations of her were too high. I left my family permanently, anyway. I don't plan to ever go back, as they could never fill the emptiness I feel; so, staying apart is better for both of us.

@bretmanfan 5 лет назад

ok i'm dealing with a toxic person! she's so suspicious about my life. she always text me asking me about my future plan and nothing else! even though i never ask her about all this. i just don't like her behavior. sometimes i even leave her on seen but then she text again "reply?" and i cringe so hard ugh why the fuck she's so interested in my life! we aren't even that close. if she was a friend i had no problem with her being suspicious but my point is that we aren't, we were never friend, just hi bye classmates. i should just block her?

@growingmartshal3229 4 года назад

Yes, you should, that isn't respecting privacy if she forces you to tell her personal things.

@itsmolly0074 6 лет назад

This is perfect right now, I need to talk to some ppl.

@Tsukiko.97 6 лет назад

Me too :/

@itsmolly0074 6 лет назад

Abyssinia Empire sup w your situation?

@Tsukiko.97 6 лет назад

Krxtina Em To put it bluntly online trolls and a somewhat dysfunctional family. How's life treating you?

@itsmolly0074 6 лет назад

Abyssinia Empire yeah for me it's family and one of my best friends. Honestly life hasn't been treating me well but this channel helps me with it all because I think a good social life can fix a lot of problems.

@TejwantSingh 6 лет назад

LET'S TALK!

@ashleygavalchin483 6 лет назад

So if you were to say to them "you've called me a loser on this and this occassion.." And they interrupt denying it, what's the next step. I have a friend a really care about but she's verbally and somewhat physically abusive towards me but then lies about it.

@PersianLeonidus 6 лет назад

Don't double down when you're arguing. Let them think that you're accepting their answer. Once you do all of that, remove contact from them for a while. Start a new hobby or pursue a dream. If you need more help, I recommend going on RU-vid and looking for "codependency recovery" videos. You deserve better than someone who berates you and denies it.

@richardmccabe2392 6 лет назад

Next time they call you a loser, call them out straight away instead of waiting a while later so they don't get the chance to deny it.

@ashleygavalchin483 6 лет назад

PersianLeonidus thats what im trying to do. Thank you for the advice and reassurance. :)

@ashleygavalchin483 6 лет назад

Ace D. :) thanks thats what my friends are telling me and its time to finally start listening and getting out of this toxic relationship

@ashleygavalchin483 6 лет назад

Richard McCabe yeah! And if its obviously they dont wanna fix the problem i cant do anything about it. Ill try to stand up for myself instead of letting them walk over me like theyve been for years. Ive just veen letting it go and forgivinf her cause i dont like to fight but now shes lieing about ne and pretending to be the victim. Thanks for the advice. I need to be the smarter person.

@alexanderSnilsson 6 лет назад

I see it as practice time every time I meet a person like this. This is universe testing me! But it doesn't make it easy.. Especially not the toughest situations, which you mention lastly... But more so, the once you can't ever abandon, the "toxic" people that are close to you and have this negative aura simply because they're depressed. Now that's a real challenge, being there and supporting people that only can see the darkness... Because you have to feel what they're feeling in order to empathize with them, but you can't stay in that place for too long because it'll colours off. At least that's my experience, trying to support family members in this situation. But I feel i master I'm getting better at it, important to try and stay objective and ground yourself with reality afterwards. I also reason that I can't help this person if I'm not being my best self, and that's not a sad me! If you have any videos or sources you can recommend on this topic, please share. Thanks for great content, as always. /alex

@alexanderSnilsson 6 лет назад

Haha.. Well your comment warms me up, so kudos to you too! Read through what I'd written.. Think I got a bit emotional there at the end beacuse my sense of using good englis obviously went out the window:). Have a great day !

@camerong5513 6 лет назад

Alexander Nilsson Hi there. Some great sentiments you have here but no, one does not "have to feel what they're feeling ".

@alexanderSnilsson 6 лет назад

Hi Cameron, I've played around a whole lot with different ways of approaching these scenarios, but it was after reading one of Brené Browns books ( I believe it was Daring greatly ) that I adopted this method. Enabled me to connect more deeply, but obviously, it has its drawbacks. Know when I think about it, I doubt that a psychologist have this approach.. Please do to expand on your thoughts & viewpoint Cameron!

@camerong5513 6 лет назад

Alexander Nilsson yeo. Thanks for your reply. Can I just say functional boundaries both protect & contain oneself?

@alexanderSnilsson 6 лет назад

Honestly, it doesn't do much for me. But you made me think about the concept, so if that's all you've got I'm satisfied. Made me hungry for some new digging on this topic. Thanks Cameron, /Alex

@TurboWorld 4 года назад

Solid advice, Some times a change of scenery will brighten the eyes !

@VladimirLordkipanidze 6 лет назад

Gotta LOVE Charlie!!!

@RC-xc2mr 6 лет назад

I was hanging out with this toxic person and I opened this video and apparently she got the message.

@deerclaudia 6 лет назад

Did it work?

@RC-xc2mr 6 лет назад

deerclaudia Totally.

@tonysoprano207 5 лет назад

Genius

@ganymeade5151 4 года назад

Most Toxics never get it.

@macajab6236 3 года назад

Wow

@petarpavlovic3602 6 лет назад

Make a goddamn video on what personality traits make women attractive. I know a lot of people are gonna complain about it,the same as they did on the Wonder Women video but I WANT THAT VIDEO(although I'm a guy).Oh and you'll be the first person to make it so--views.

@Lowwski 6 лет назад

Petar Pavlovic why do you wanna see that if you are a guy?

@jonathantybirk 6 лет назад

Mrs Lo It would just be very interesting and maybe thought-provocing.

@eb8945 6 лет назад

Mrs Lo It will make more chicks attractive, ultimately making it easy to find an attractive girl lmao

@SR77736 6 лет назад

Good.topic. I'd be curious to see it too.

@emanuelaemanuela 6 лет назад

I have a toxic colleague who thinks I am her personal secretary. I can't do anything about it, my boss allows her to use me. But in 3 months it will be over. Forever. I will never have to see that face again and I can't wait. Been through hell since January.

@tinag7506 6 лет назад

emanuelaemanuela 'when the going gets tough, the tough get going'

@---ml4jd 6 лет назад

why not tell her "i'm not ur personal secretary" ?

@marinaalex0510 6 лет назад

@AAA BBB I've been in a similar situation. I was a PA to 3 (!) partners, which was challenging enough, and there was an associate worked closely with one of the partners. She "thought" that I was her personal secretary. Well didn't actually thought, but acted as if it was the case. And yes, also the partner has been allowing her to act like that, even I've been swamped by loads of work. So telling her "I'm not your personal secretary" never worked.

@ganymeade5151 4 года назад

So sad that your kindness was abused. One day she might meet someone who out-toxes her. Karma.

@kaassaus4230 6 лет назад

this might work with people that are close to you. but i it prabobly don't work eith other people.

@---ml4jd 6 лет назад

the best way to deal with a toxic person is to stay away from them.

@aprilshealthsolutions 6 лет назад

love this!!! One thing that I am finding that is helping me deal with this is CONFIDENCE!!!! if you are confident it's easier to let stuff slide off your back

@ganymeade5151 4 года назад

However, many toxics prey on confident people, who they find very annoying. Many toxics are very practical-minded, and intelligent people, who wonder what are your logical reasons for being so happy and confident. Never easy dealing with them. Easier when you can avoid them.

@maikehelder3785 6 лет назад

can't believe Charlie is wearing a non-black shirt :') so grateful to be here for this milestone

@ItsAsparageese 5 лет назад

You are so, so articulate, and what you teach with this channel goes so deeply beyond just covering charisma. These lessons in boundaries that you fold in -- while somehow managing to never use charged words like "boundaries" -- are incredibly valuable. I'm so glad this resource exists!

@varshinis4583 6 лет назад

Hey Charlie, your videos are amazing and eye opening. Thanks for another great content. I think you're going a great job. :)

@Charismaoncommand 6 лет назад

~ Appreciate it!

@Shani_Bangtan777 Год назад

Guys if someone like family is toxic to you there is no such excuse as "but they are family". If they are toxic and you feel like you should cut them out of your life, do it. Toxic is toxic.

@madisoncurthoys19 6 лет назад

Thank you for this video Charlie! What you spoke about towards the end of the video really resonated with me. I had a family member who I worked with and was very close with but every 6 months or so they would go off the rails make our life a disaster and it got to a point that they started jeoperadsing my position at work when I had not done anything and I had to completely remove myself from that situation. Something clicked in my head where I was like I cannot do this anymore and even though I lost multiple family members because of the hold my specific family member had on them it was the best thing for me to leave. I left a really good job and good colleagues and living situation and whilst it took me a long time of healing and getting back on my feet it was really the best thing for me. For anyone else out there that is struggling with the same thing there is only so much you can do to help someone and if you keep putting your life in danger or in hardship you are going to be absolutely miserable.

@alexanderzurba7680 4 года назад

My advice is cut those people out of your life permanently, these people will never change, toxic people will always be toxic people.

@unknownana9797 5 лет назад

What if I feel I am the one who toxic

@ganymeade5151 4 года назад

Then that is who you are. Know this: One day someone will out tox you.

@shirleyjones4041 4 года назад

Unfortunately as some women get older you can't help them. They like how they are . So now I leave

@b.sharp. 6 лет назад

Can you put a logo or something over that light switch? It's distracting me! Lol

@ArrowoodsHobbyShop-Ebay 6 лет назад

Thanks for ruining my life 🤣

@NeatherBen221 5 лет назад

I’m currently in the 8th grade and I was playing Fortnite last weekend. I got put with this seriously toxic 10 year old and he gave me a death threat just because I didn’t have any skins. Those are the kinds of toxic people I encounter

@ayoubmezoury4134 6 лет назад

"shut them down" great video, keep killing it !

@Charismaoncommand 6 лет назад

~ Thanks!

@ArwenUndomiel406 6 лет назад

Hey man i love your videos. I wondered if you possibly could do a video on how to handle people that suffer from an histrionic personality disorder? If you would consider this i‘d be really greateful to you. Thanks man!

@broadwayzjm5257 6 лет назад

My brother is literally almost 30 and is still at home. Unemployed, abuses alcohol and smokes a lot. Expects things to be handed to him and is a lazy ass who won't get a job but will steal money from us to pay people he owes debts to. My parents are literally senior citizens at this point but he still depends on them financially, and we aren't rich so he isn't exactly doing us any favors. I'm a minor so I've yet to get a job, but in the mean time I'm working hard and hopefully aiming for a scholarship in college. He is the definition of toxic but my parents won't let go of him. He's been like this for many years but my parents won't take action and he won't change. Please help.

@aenpien 6 лет назад

I am like your brother but not nearly as bad, and the only things that will get me to move out are getting a decent job handed to me (unlikely), suddenly discovering a new direction in life, or getting kicked out. The reason he's not changing is because he has no reason to, so something has to change the situation, that's just how it is. You could talk to your parents about what will happen in the future, financially, if he doesn't move out. Calculate how long they will be able to support him. If they can't support him forever, this realistic analysis of the situation might help your parents understand that he needs to be kicked out because it will be better for everyone. If they do kick him out they should explain to him the financial calculations too. Personally I would not move out by my own free will, and I wished that my dad would kick me out because I knew it would be for my own good, kinda funny. But since I'm going back to uni maybe it's good that he didn't kick me out. Your brother doesn't sound like he would genuinely decide to go study something like I did though.

@S..527 5 лет назад

Yeah try this in x box live chat. It don’t matter how good your social skills are you are not gonna shut them down

@ganymeade5151 4 года назад

You are very smart and wise about the nature of toxic people. They are toxic and cannot be cured. You can only avoid them when you can. When you must deal with them, be careful not to slip on their ice, or step on their land mines. Toxics often seem like super nice, and very charming people. However, toxics use their charm to set you up. Toxics delight in keeping others on a tightrope.

@erenjager4698 4 года назад

You just need to make them feel as if their words and actions don't bother you. If someone is being toxic I just respond with yep and uh huh and ok in a nonchalant matter. Eating or doing something else to divide your attention is a good because it makes them feel unimportant and ignored. Don't throw insults at them. They want you to. Just sit there and take it and maybe even say something nice. You might feel like a birch just sitting there taking insults, but it gets under these peoples skin in a way throwing insults never could.

@robin-gu6uy 5 лет назад

It's a toxic person. You handle it by not handling it nat

@optillian4182 5 лет назад

You telling me that mutilating them is not the answer?

@K98vd04 6 лет назад

Coming to the last part of this video, can you do a separate video on how to deal with patience and understanding with our family, immediate ones like brother, sister or parents or even significant other, who is/ are suffering from mental health issues.?

@camerong5513 6 лет назад

SquickSquick are you sure Charisma on Command is equipped to deal with the complexity of such a situation?

@K98vd04 6 лет назад

Cameron G i guess so...

@asingh4025 4 года назад

i have been in that situation walking away from the arseholes in your life regardless if they are blood .... removing yourself from that toxic atmosphere is they only thing to do ............ most people don't change and those people who make your life miserable are not sorry and never will be the reason why they did what they did in the first place is because they do not have empathy for their actions have no mercy upon those that would give you non

@360.Tapestry 6 лет назад

bonus tip: don't display loser behavior (just kidding!)

@AllatonceIvan 6 лет назад

Awesome man!!

@Mickyboi1 6 лет назад

Got stuck in a college class with one for 8 months, worst 8 months of my life, constantly being horrible yet they thought we were best friends, finished college blocked them on everything and they still wont leave me alone😂

@deerclaudia 6 лет назад

I'm waiting to graduate...the ugliest person I have ever met. She said I'm her best friend in school, but every time I'm happy, she is jealous and tries to bring me down. When she's spreading negativity and it makes me sad or angry, she is happy -_-

@ganymeade5151 4 года назад

OMG. Some people are like that. Hope you can break free. Just don't answer their phone calls and texts. You might have to move and change your number and email.

@chisomololo8406 Год назад

@@deerclaudia She sounds like a true sadist.

@LilaBubble 6 лет назад

Just for the thumbnail: I realise you are going for a more "emotional" thumbnail to catch attention but just for my personal preference: I much prefer an informative title and illustrating picture than strange emoticons.

@pandarocks4485 5 лет назад

And if someone is the type to never listen? That person in a conversation don't listen or if he does only listens what he wants to listen?

@stephenbarany3736 5 лет назад

Panda Rocks you’re talking about an actually toxic person

@stoweby 3 года назад

If a person can be spoken to in that matter chances are they aren't toxic, just unaware. The only thing you can do with a toxic person is walk. I've had to do it with two or three folks I'm close to including family and I have never second-guessed that choice.

@matthewbrennan3127 6 лет назад

Could you guys do a video on Todd Howard from Bethseda Softworks?

@Cov1ngtonsGhOst 6 лет назад

Matthew Brennan Like the Zuck video pt. 2

@Mrjakokos 6 лет назад

His charisma just works

@emma_ametist 4 года назад

Although be really careful if you're dealing with a true narcissist, and not just someone that occasionally showcase one of these toxic behaviours. It could be dangerous with some narcissists to "call them out" or set bounderies. Stay safe, first and foremost. Usually when people behave bad it is just a case of some degree of insecurity. These tips can only help for a little time with some narcissists, but sooner or later, the narcissist will go back to their bad behaviour, because in their disorder, they need emotional supply from other people, which causes them to commit these toxic behaviour to make you react emotionally. What you should do instead is "go grey-rock" to them, and they will eventually loose interest.

@temmietim1023 6 лет назад

how to handle Russians in CSGO

@ПОЧИНЮКУКУХУ 6 лет назад

Temmie Plays 😆😆😆 oh, lord, cracked me up

@sarawagistrom 2 года назад

I can confirm that resigning my job in order to get out of a toxic work environment and person is the best choice I ever made for myself. It took some time to recover mentally (as I just tried to make it work for way to long) but I'm all the better for it now. You deserve to feel good about going to work, never forget that.

@elpiniki1130 6 лет назад

I'm friends with a guy. He has a crush on me (he told me but I just don't see him that way) and told me that im basiclly his best and only friend .we used to be very close and we probably still are in his mind but I just think he is kinda toxic .I don't want to spend time with him.telling him that tho would make things very bad for him .he thinks everyone leaves people hurt you so by leaving I will confirm that.he also struggles a lot with depression suicidal thoughts and anxiety .i mean a lot to him and i dont know how he would feel or what he would do if i left.he needs a friend and i feel bad for wanting to leave him .should i do it?

@Charismaoncommand 6 лет назад

I don't believe relationships predicated on guilt or fear of leaving are good for anyone in the long term. Certainly do what you can in the interim to get him support - perhaps encourage him to talk to a counselor. But you being his "friend" despite not liking really liking him is eventually going to result in you moving away from him anyway. I think you should tell him clearly how you feel, focusing on what specifically he could do to grow. Tell him how the guilt is driving you away. Ultimately, people will not become his friend because he "needs" them. They will become his friend because he is a good friend. The best thing for him would be to learn what it actually takes to make people want to be close to him.

@rooseveltpina7124 6 лет назад

Duck suffering builds character. Abandon this pathetic person.

@elpiniki1130 6 лет назад

Charisma on Command I agree I think you are right. I guess its for the best to do this. I can't find the courage haha but its something that needs to be done. Thanks again

@dude4962 6 лет назад

Charisma on Command hella good response tbh

@MisterL2_yt 6 лет назад

wtf is that comment. Your behaviour may have just killed an insecure individual wow. You, sir, are a toxic individual. The CoC response on the other hand makes sense and gives me the idea that they thought their response through and have a clue of what they are talking about ;)

@meltedguts 5 лет назад

Guys I need help!! I have been friends with this person for about a year. A few months ago she started calling me names and at first I thought she was joking but now it’s getting kinda annoying. She always instigating arguments and it’s weird because she isn’t like this with her other friends...how do I deal with this??

@seraphina9756 6 лет назад

What should I do if I'm the toxic person? Everyone,s always talking bout the victims. What about me? I'm not doing that stuff on purpose.

@TheAussieDouche 6 лет назад

A lot of toxic people don't recognize the fact that how they act is a problem or an issue. Even if they do most don't really want to change it. You're already better then most as you recognize it as a problem. You cannot change your personality so don't be somebody who you arn't, people will just think you're fake. Just try to improve yourself. Improving yourself is the only way you will like yourself. The more you like yourself, the less toxic you will be.

@mohanpatil3343 6 лет назад

Seraphina My elder sister is such a person. I can tell you a lot about it.. But I'll keep it brief. Change the mentality that, "world owes me". Know that everyone has some type of tragedy in life. Always ask people to share theirs while keeping mum on yours. Find out the things which frustrate you and instead of taking it out on people closest to you, work on it. There are many many things like meditation which can help. I personally observe silence for days (where I keep my conversation minimal).

@justafighter1346 6 лет назад

Always be friendly and don't discriminate based of class: us and them is dangerous for a charismatic person

@danielaldersson1533 6 лет назад

With a gun. Duh

@jannahgarcia_ 6 лет назад

💯💯😂

@jaradrichardsC137 6 лет назад

daniel aldersson Laughed

@bigpanda9684 5 лет назад

With a bazooka duh?

@hughsilva5655 5 лет назад

With an orbital air strike duh

@ayatosat6265 Год назад

the fact that I'm trying my best with my toxic friend, she compares us a lot, and criticizes me every chance she gets, yet I'm trying my best to not focus on this stuff and trying to make our friendship work, but it hurts that she sees me as the toxic one, why? I feel drained and so out of life when I'm with her, i tried my best to make our friendship better

@eternaljade97 6 лет назад

I'm the only toxic person in my life 😂

@mohamedsajid6180 4 года назад

Aymen NM not only you even iam an a toxic person too My ex girlfriend have so many negative thoughts on at me She have finger point her new husband about me She have said to me already iam not deserved to became as a good boyfriend of her too

@Phosfit 2 года назад

It’s too the point where *I cannot honestly say “I really care about our relationship.” * These two domineering forces have an influence on my little sister & im not fond of letting them transfer their toxic traits into her or leave her with lasting trauma.

@danbrown9502 5 лет назад

My god your eyebrows are long. It's okay, it works though

@darlexcartel659 2 года назад

Sad part is how the toxic person will never leave. You're the one who has to leave. They'll stay close to you like oxygen. It's like a snake that always wants to be close. The closer you get, the more it bites. The further away you get...the more you heal. Thank you for this. At least I learned before it was too late

@pedrohov 6 лет назад

What if I'm the toxic one? How do I stop being like this, I wish I was better

@camerong5513 6 лет назад

Drr rr if one is suspecting/ detecting areas to develop interpersonal functioning- great! one's on a roll to recovery- if indeed its needed. see a non dual psychotherapist? Ask trusted & close friends/family/ co workers/ GP/mental health professional to give a perspective?

@kensharpe1047 6 лет назад

I will be honest, I am a natural complainer and pessimist which makes me somewhat toxic...In an attempt to change that I am trying to focus on and call out the specific positive things around me. At first everyone thought it was cynical sarcasm on my part but I am starting to notice a change! I also let everyone know that I realize that is a flaw of mine, and that I am trying to improve that aspect of who I am

@nicktrevi2990 2 года назад

Grey Rock! Disengage! Stop investing emotionally…

@brokeneyes6615 6 лет назад

Can you do a vid about The differences between when a woman admires you vs when a woman is flirting with you and how to gently but firmly turn them down if the ladder (especially if it’s in a professional setting)?

@wiwisjxkalnz 3 года назад

Lol

@johnnydoe2672 3 года назад

Remove or distance yourself from all toxic people. It doesn’t matter the cost. Nothing costs more than your inner peace.

@johnnyroycerichardsoniii3273 6 лет назад

First comment ! Love the channel gentlemen !

@bojackthetrustworthy736 6 лет назад

Or maybe you can be the toxic one..

@lone17wolf 6 лет назад

What if I am toxic? :(

@jimmys1128 6 лет назад

Vlad Vale you work on yourself

@MC-mh2ju 6 лет назад

Vlad Vale Take some colon cleanse.

@thepatriarch6144 6 лет назад

Some people do deserve toxicity though 100% of the time.

@ren1643 6 лет назад

Recognize what you are, and what you want to be. Work to change it. If you break your new frame, think back on it and acknowledge what you did and try to avoid doing it again.

@Dubhe68 6 лет назад

I was searching for this comment ahah

@zoltancsilleri1068 6 лет назад

Your content is really helpful and very analytical, but when i watch you talking and gesturing i can`t help but feel that you are not very authentic but forced. Everything you do with your body language and expressions feels over the top. I think you should dial back on it little. Otherwise great job.

@wasrtod 6 лет назад

Aren't males today too sensitive? Should we always be tolerant of this no matter how extreme. Toxicity is subjective. Where do we draw the line between toxicity and childish/immature character? The other side needs to be voiced

@keyboardwarrior327 6 лет назад

Thank you. I hear this term tossed out really often but rarely defined. Unloading and complaining about a sports team or the weather makes someone toxic? Saying negative things? What's the alternative, being artificially positive all the time? One definition I've heard of a toxic person is someone who wants to change someone else's behavior, which is exactly what this video seems to be encouraging people to do.

@camerong5513 6 лет назад

some really good sentiments there, Keyboard Warrior

@francismausley7239 5 лет назад

Right.... Avoid their company. "Walk not with the ungodly and seek not fellowship with him, for such companionship turneth the radiance of the heart into infernal fire." ~ Baha'u'llah, Baha'i Faith

@katherinep708 5 лет назад

I knew a person who couldn't keep her mouth shut, couldn't keep any secret to save her life, and who lies constantly. I just ghosted her, lol

@kimkisses17 5 лет назад

That was for the best lol 😂

@bluepopbubble6330 3 года назад

Some Toxic people are the members of my school project. They have no respect towards me and I get upset when they do that.

@wesleypark2994 4 года назад

what if ur in a friend group n we invite this guy to add on to our friend group n then this guy starts becoming toxic and everyone starts to become toxic except you how do u deal with that person?

@MightyRagnarok 6 лет назад

What if I don't give a fuck about a toxic person or their problems?

@jcronin3155 3 года назад

"I care about our relationship" is complete and utter nonsence because most people are emotionally closed off.

@marlanaedwards5296 4 года назад

I believe that negativity can be very poisoning to your mind.

@hipnhappenin 2 года назад

Yikes. Landmark Forum is not good.....

@mrmarshfellow 5 лет назад

Wish i saw this before i broke off some friendships

@aidaljaljevic 5 лет назад

Okay, I can do like 90% of what you said in this video. The only problem is, my grammar is bad and I don't know what words to choose when I encounter these situations. Is there anything you can give me advice on?? Or am I screwed? 😅

@rockym.g.3827 5 лет назад

Just think it though before you actually talk to the person man, you can even write it down it helps in about every situation

@tonirae4445 5 лет назад

You can’t just be in someone’s life when it’s good. Being a friend means going through the rough parts with them too. My best friend bailed on me saying the same things. “ I can only support your best self.” When is that? And what will that take? And why did he get to decide that? Idk I thought being someone’s friend meant all the time

@lj700 5 лет назад

I have a new friend who randomly says negative things about me like "you're always angry" when the week before they say I'm a ray of sunshine. Or if they offer something and I politely decline say "fine be that way. Im gonna cry now" . If they don't have my attention on a car ride cause I'm looking at my phone they cover the screen and asking them to stop they ask why and maybe do it again. My question is what type of person am I dealing with and what is their motive for criticism and disregard for what I'm saying? Are they toxic?

@stonecold007 5 лет назад

Yup, they're toxic.

@hughsilva5655 5 лет назад

What if I ignore this toxic person and I have done this and after a while of seperation I feel amazing, but then, they come back and they stick. You cant leave because you were in this area before he joined (like a discord server). I cant leave because I joined this area (discord server) for a reason, because I enjoy that area and also have friends in it. I ignore this person but he starts talking bad about me first, if I keep ignoring this person he gains confidence because he believes im too scared to talk back and to argue. I know you made a video about frames and maybe I just keep entering this toxic persons frame but how do I not enter a toxic persons frame from an area that I dont want to leave from, or how can I make a toxic person fall into my frame to let them know they are wrong and hypocritical? Do I act calm? When I do they freak out and start saying nonsense about me that isnt true or heavily biased. If I act like the big guy and throw out my many valid points with proof he just continues talking his nonsense and heavily biased points and doesnt care or understand my point, perhaps he doesnt even see it. The thing is that I know he is a toxic and hypocritical person but he just wont understand what im saying. Many other people know of his toxic attitude aswell but again he just ignores it and believes he is true. How do I deal with a person like that?

@hughsilva5655 5 лет назад

Sorry if that was a lot