HOW TO HEAL ABANDONMENT FEARS BY CHANGING THESE 10 COMPULSIVE RESPONSES

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This video explores our fears of abandonment as they may have developed in childhood, and describes 10 compulsive responses we often engage in to deal with our deep abandonment fears and issues, and what you can do to start working on healing your CPTSD related abandonment wounds.
****FOR MORE INFORMATION ONLINE COURSES AND FREE CHECKLIST:
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Please check out my courses (LINK ABOVE):
1. BORDERLINE AND NARCISSISTIC PARENTS: HEALING AND DEALING WITH YOUR TRAUMA
(*This course is designed specifically for you if you were raised by parents who had Narcissistic, Borderline or significantly Emotionally Immature parents.)
2. RE-MOTHERED: TRANSFORM YOUR WOUNDED INNER CHILD INTO AN INTERNALIZED, LOVING "MOTHER"
(***This course is designed to help you learn to heal your inner child AND your inner parent if you experienced a complicated childhood or challenging relational wounds).
3. IDENTIFYING CHILDHOOD EMOTIONAL ABUSE AND NEGLECT (FREE COURSE)
CHECKLIST IS INCLUDED IN ALL 3 COURSES!!**
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***Please note! I am so sorry but my practice is full at this time and I cannot accept new patients. If you would like to be added to my waitlist, please email me at drsagehelp@gmail.com and I will email you only when a spot becomes available. I cannot guarantee a spot will open, however, so please know I care very much, but am limited at this time given my case load.
* Additionally, I am only able to work with California residents (due to state licensing and insurance requirements for myself) for weekly therapy once available. If you are interested, please also add in a few brief details in your email including your reasons for seeking treatment, current diagnoses, concerns, etc.

Опубликовано:

25 апр 2023

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Комментарии : 997

@hilarypowers2789 Год назад

My fear of abandonment makes me plan my escape if I feel any slight rejection/withdrawal from my partner. So painful and confusing

@juliascorey999 Год назад

Me too

@sweet2sourr Год назад

My brain doesn’t allow me to plan. I’m out like a girl scout

@amandasealspiritartist5775 Год назад

Omgosh ladies yes I do that too. Thank you, you have just really helped me x

@MournfulMystic Год назад

I'm the same :(

@ems5008 Год назад

@@juliascorey999 Omg let's do it. My friends don't understand. I asked one how to not push away a good man & she said "if he's good then why would you push him away" 😂

@MissBluebirddays 6 месяцев назад

It feels so cruel that the ones severely neglected in childhood have the hardest time finding secure love as adults 😢

@raymukhtar6806 5 месяцев назад

Yes.. it seems to be a "theme" for the life. Everybody having their own "theme/trauma" ... Until next life I guess 😢😅

@JBoek30 3 месяца назад

so we get the chance to make the best of it i have to learn & understand alot i will be able to make things better & understand you have this chance too i feel you, i can feel the same , i dont want to be a victim wishing you the best🙃

@MissBluebirddays 3 месяца назад

@@JBoek30 thank you ☺️ Yes, we are more resilient, understanding, sensitive, grateful and appreciative of the good people in our life. Wishing you all the best too ☺️

@imperialchalice 3 месяца назад

Yes, we have to make a lot of time for the healing journey it seems. ♥️🤲 I think we will all get there eventually. Be kind to yourself where others can’t be. I have learned this for myself over the years and it helps. Wishing you lots of goodness in the world. 🌠

@Kach. 2 месяца назад

Tragic beyond words

@Ana-wt7xf 3 месяца назад

What breaks my heart is seeing that this video has thousands of views. Whoever is out there needing to watch this, deserves a medal, you have survived, you still have the strength to reach out for help. Whoever you are, I love you, you're worthy of LOVE you were worthy of it since you were born, you don't have to do anything to deserve it. Keep going, keep the faith, you'll get there eventually, you will be happy and you will embrace and enjoy the love and bliss you so rightfully deserve. I love you❤😘

@asiaamaya1124 Месяц назад

I needed this. Thank you.

@Ana-wt7xf Месяц назад

@@asiaamaya1124 I meant every word. You deserve to be loved. You deserve to be happy. I'm sending you lots of love💕😘😘😘🤗🌼go out and claim what's yours!

@shannonmc7090 Месяц назад

Thank you! You made me cry in a good way!

@Ana-wt7xf Месяц назад

@@shannonmc7090 I hope you believe it. I know the struggle, I know how hard it is to really believe you deserve to be loved and be happy, but you have to train your brain and heart and fight them if they tell you otherwise. Be ok with receiving love, even when you feel uncomfortable because you're not used to it. Tell yourself it's ok, you'll get used to it and receiving will become something natural. Bless you, go out there and claim what's rightfully yours💚🤗💕🌼☀️☀️

@THISisUS333 Месяц назад

Wow thank you, Gods love note for me today!! Thank you 🥹, perfect note made my heart smile

@emelie3205 Год назад

"you didnt choose that childhood, its not your fault" Powerful, thank you

@EsseQuamVideriSe7en Год назад

This is a hard sell to our partners though, especially if they have the Anxious Attachment. They think we act the way we do on purpose because they cannot even imagine pulling away or self-regulating. Knowledge is power though.

@jadezee6316 Год назад

@@EsseQuamVideriSe7en knowledge is not always power...no matter how much one believes...very few will change and the more intelligent one is the less they will change

@jadezee6316 Год назад

this was the point of good will hunting....the movie

@orangewarm1 Год назад

Seems like common sense. How does this help?

@EsseQuamVideriSe7en Год назад

@@jadezee6316 Carl Jung "Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will rule your life, and you will call it fate." I believe this. Because, before now, I had no idea why I would pull away from someone I know I love and want to be with for the rest of my life. Knowing has made a world of difference. Your statement seems to come from your own experiences. Doesn't mean you're right. Doesn't mean you're wrong either. I plan to be one who changes no matter how left-brained I am.

@MacyPooh196 7 месяцев назад

I get very attached to people and don’t want them to leave and if they do I believe it’s my fault. I always say “well if I were better, smaller, prettier, etc., they would stay” and it’s a vicious cycle.

@kkelly4806 16 дней назад

Total opposite with me. I don't attach easily because I don't trust anyone. I have one foot out the door. I only rely on myself and I know my own power and worth but find other people bring no real value to the table of a balanced relationship.

@timwood5518 15 дней назад

It is your fault

@TheBlairWenchProject 8 месяцев назад

_I just turned 40 and realized I suffer from abandonment issues. And I lose it completely when anyone tries to leave. Working on this. Praying for us all._

@naomiealexandre9026 8 месяцев назад

no way you’re 40 u look like late 20s maybe 😮

@ananichi 8 месяцев назад

I am 41 and same. We can do this. This isn’t easy

@zenseuphoria7270 8 месяцев назад

Glad I got to know these issues when I am still 20 lol

@ADORABEL25 8 месяцев назад

Same..

@TheBlairWenchProject 8 месяцев назад

@@ananichi _Update: I’m doing much better now that I’ve been working on it. It’s easier to just let this person (and anyone else who disturbs my peace) go. Feeling like myself again. Hope you are too._

@mammybelle7302 10 месяцев назад

I daydreamed my life away. Started as a child and still do. Diagnosed with ADHD at 49. Made perfect sense.

@ava-km5qk 8 месяцев назад

This comment was the realization I have ADHD. There are other symptoms, so I have always wondered but now I think this confirms it lol.

@by9798 5 месяцев назад

@@ava-km5qk Watch Dr. K's videos on youtube. Ton's of ADHD talks that are very down to earth.

@analyseadams9654 7 месяцев назад

My fear of abandonment has been so intense that I have avoided all romantic situations for the fear of losing them. I really appreciate you sharing this video as I have recently decided to break that pattern.

@nicolecordone3622 5 месяцев назад

Same here 😢

@Cleanwhitebeige95 4 месяца назад

I lost my dad in the war I was very very attached to him I’m 30 and don’t talk to men don’t date cause I know I will the extreme clinger cause I’m scared they will leave me by choice or illness or death I just can’t it’s so scaryyyy I have to be attach to my partner and I know that’s unhealthy and no one wants that

@Angelica123 4 месяца назад

I’m also struggling with this, but I’m actually trying to not be ashamed of it anymore and instead telling my partner how’ I need and what I have to have to feel safe and loved and hopefully the right one will stay❤

@jamiev7165 3 месяца назад

I'm proud of you for wanting to break that pattern. That in itself is a huge step! I'm trying to do the same.

@fubufb420 3 месяца назад

I give up. It's Soo stupid. You have to be attached to someone and have a healthy relationship to be a healthy human being.... Blah fucking blah... People literally don't do anything for you! As long as you have a brain and all your limbs, you should be self sufficient for the most part. I don't get this whole needing other people bull shit. People are nothing but a drain on me. Especially a romantic relationship with a needy female I have to care for.. who just wants physical attention and a bill payer. My "emotional tank" is for me and me alone! It's how I cope with this screwed up society. Protecting what's mine and not giving in to people's useless social expectations! Anyways... I don't get why people are so damn needy all the time. Just leave me the hell alone!😂😂😂 Society is full of weak ass, LAZY pussies too scared to live life independent. Too dumb and ignorant to learn anything to expand their horizons. Just hoping someone else will come along and fix everything for them and be happy ever after.... Grow up you stupid needy people. Learn to be alone. LEARN THINGS!!!!

@anne4002 6 месяцев назад

Wow i cried when you said: if I'm being perfect I won't be left alone this time. This is exactly what i think every time with everyone and it consumes me because i know i can't ever reach perfection. 😢

@chandhinichenthilkannan108 4 месяца назад

Same 😢

@luxuryconnoisseuraddict6900 25 дней назад

You are perfect exactly the way you are. No one should tell you any different. ❤

@kkelly4806 16 дней назад

I think my perfectionism is not trying to please others but I am trying to be perfect for myself because there is no one having my back and I have to be everything for myself.

@misskuni 7 месяцев назад

Im so ready to grow out of this fear of rejection and abandonment. It bleeds into my life in ways that do not serve me anymore.

@ericwhitehead3197 6 месяцев назад

I hear that

@caitlinnewman1260 Месяц назад

Couldn't have said it better myself.

@charchar9014 6 месяцев назад

I did so many years of healing on myself and then got into a relationship that was the most unsafe and toxic ever. At this point I don’t even want to heal anymore, I just want to stay away from all people and not share myself with the world. I am so consumed with shame and self hatred that I don’t want anyone to see me.

@hong1796 3 месяца назад

I have the same feelings

@natural_fefe6751 Месяц назад

Going though the same feelings right now

@oetzi0000 Месяц назад

So sorry to hear that. I wish you all the best and courage to trust once again that there is hope

@sannasunshine4161 Месяц назад

I know the feelings too well. And I'm sorry you did so much work, and felt like it was for nothing. But if I may share a perspective (and believe me, it's coming from someone literally crying from this video, loneliness and pain), your work was not for nothing. When we enter a relationship with a toxic person (without knowing of course), it's a "slap" to see if our healing stays with us. Like, we get to train our healing muscles. And every time we see the red flags much quicker, or know how to ask the most revealing questions, and how fast we can bounce back to our path. You're meant to heal from this, I believe you can. Because I have to believe that I can.

@govegan562 День назад

i thought i healed as well and was doing amazing...then i entered a new relationship and it was going so well, but after a year i slipped into old patterns and it’s been awful mentally for me, so i feel you

@joannegregory3024 2 месяца назад

Being adopted is my trigger…. If the 2 people who are supposed to love and protect you more than anyone in this world can walk away from you anyone can 😢

@JoePAcalaughs 24 дня назад

But that's because of them, not you. You were worth life or your soul wouldn't have been chosen to come to life 🙏😌❤️

@Johnnystiletto-ri8ht 8 месяцев назад

Had an abusive father and alcoholic mother... found weight lifting, pilates and martial arts training helped me in many ways...

@Truologye 2 месяца назад

Great work!

@madeleinequinn2167 Год назад

I cried the whole way through, that was my life and I'm still suffering at 51 😢

@irislama4695 6 месяцев назад

I’m 51 and feel the same as you

@jamiev7165 3 месяца назад

Have you talked to a therapist about it? I want to, but I haven't found a therapist that I connect with. 😔

@babaganouche9605 2 месяца назад

❤

@blueskygal255 Год назад

"You had no safe space to develop yourself" really resonates for me and how that impacts me now struggling to develop my artistic self. Thankyou Dr Kim ❤

@emilyjiuliano5969 5 месяцев назад

I really relate to your your comment. When I’m fully immersed in my creativity, I feel like I’m abandoning someone or being irresponsible. My mind knows that’s not true, but my nervous system sends me those signals. I can remind myself this is something to heal❤️

@BecomeConsciousNow Год назад

Yes. I've been single pretty much my entire life through fear of abandonment and not being enough. I would only ever entertain a relationship if I was 100% in love with that person but when I do feel 100% attracted to someone I get extremely dysregulated and avoid them like the plague. Ahh..the Joy's of a traumatic childhood. I am very spiritual, no doubt because of my trauma filled childhood, and I know I am already whole and perfect. I'm trying my best to be my true essence of love, peace and joy and connect with my consciousness. I wish everyone peace, love and joy.

@k-t5443 Год назад

Sorry to hear this. Something that might help are subliminal videos alongside ones like this. Vortex Success do one, for example, for childhood trauma.

@janetblanc7658 Год назад

I hope you find true love and happiness. I know how you feel.....

@mir6598 8 месяцев назад

I understand. I feel more regulated alone because of my trauma. Usually if I like someone I just stay in the friendship zone to analyze their behavior over time and because for them there isnt anything to gain.. or affect their behavior in front of me. Then I feel I can trust who Im really coming together with. Ive been single for a while because I don’t seek relationships out.. they dont feel good to me when they do happen… and they feel emotionally disruptive. It doesn’t help Im picky. 😶

@loriecutter6974 8 месяцев назад

It’s good that you have standards just try truly, to keep your expectations realistic. Ask others or just one other what they believe is realistic, somebody you trust. Or perhaps therapy for a guideline. You’ll be surprised If you follow the yellow brick road your answer…. It will feel right and good when you meet that person who is willing to love you where you’re at until you’re ready to love yourself. ❤remember no one is perfect. Only God! Listen to (Him or Her)

@michellevicente759 8 месяцев назад

100% relate with you :(

@pamjuliani9179 Год назад

I had both parents leave my life early on. Now hard to make friends and isolate myself. My animals are my life. It's very lonely. Ever time I try though a narcissist destroys me.

@skippress Год назад

Stop abandoning yourself is beautiful. You're a godsend, thank you;

@dsophie7816 Год назад

Compulsive shame Compulsive Care Taking Compulsive Self Reliance Compulsive Perfectionism Compulsive relationships Compulsive maladaptive daydreaming Compulsive distrust Compulsive dysregulation Compulsive Hypervigilance

@girlsguidetosurvival Год назад

Thank you

@julia2259 Год назад

+ compulsive numbing :)

@Thagy1973 Год назад

@@julia2259 I am really good at that one!

@shantitakemoto1058 Год назад

Def have the first 5..and don’t know where it came from?? Kind of wonder if it’s from school rather than family? Not sure..

@CatalinaFOIA Год назад

I have MAJOR trust issues. Trauma from having my mother leave at the age of 6; growing up way too fast did that to me. As an adult and knowing what she did is beyond wrong... I will never do that to my baby girl; I couldn't ever imagine leaving her behind.

@noremac0123456789 5 месяцев назад

The pain of abandonment and rejection destroys me like nothing else.

@catherinewilson1079 Год назад

Thank you for this video❣️You have taught me at least two new things. 1. That I abandoned myself for most of my 70 years. 2. That I have a very hard time just “being” instead of “doing”. The main problem for me now is that I am learning all of these things in my retirement years when both the physical and mental body are on the decline. I don’t think I will EVER feel that I will NOT be abandoned. It has happened many times already. Once by my birth mother, once by my adoptive mother, and once by my daughter. (I won’t count the men in my life) But if I can help it, I will never again abandon myself.

@nancybartley4610 Год назад

Catherine, I am sorry you are hurting. You did not deserve what happened. Please love yourself. Please

@AyleseW Год назад

Powerful.❤ I know you said you're 70 and wearing down BUT, you could maybe live to be 90, so to think you could have another 2 decades left to never abandon yourself again is an encouragement of bravery for us under 70. It's always worth it to change and grow to give ourselves the love and presence we've always needed.

@catherinewilson1079 Год назад

@@nancybartley4610 Thank you❣️Every little thing I learn helps me change and helps me feel better about myself🙂

@catherinewilson1079 Год назад

@@AyleseW I am a fanatic for learning and growing and will probably not stop doing that while I have life.

@gigielliot834 Год назад

Thank you Cathrine for sharing your experience and learned wisdom. I hope you give yourself lots of love. You deserve it.

@FaithFashionFinances Год назад

It’s a hard reality to face and a ton of grief is associated with understanding the reality of healing the inner child. May you all heal and find inner peace 🙏

@ruthgrace-sw5uj 8 месяцев назад

Amen

@user-zp8fs6el7q 6 месяцев назад

Aameen Aameen Aameen

@Amaraelom 5 месяцев назад

Amen

@normasam794 Год назад

What if the fear is not only the fear? What if we keep experiencing rejection from people over and over again?

@pcmedics8309 Год назад

Yes! This! I get this treatment from my partner. So I guess in essence it's my fault because I keep allowing them to do it...its like creating your own prison. Good luck and God bless!

@ronkelawal_ Год назад

When we reject ourselves…it makes sense that others will reject us too. We fix it from our end

@rl4488 Год назад

Self fulfilling prophecy’s

@loram.8807 Год назад

please don’t listen to these law of attraction people! it’s the same gaslighting gaslighters have always done, wrapped up in toxic positivity ‘you’re not in love w yourself & that’s why no-one can love you’ is cruel & simply not true- it’s not anyone’s lack of inner turbulence that makes them lovable, it’s how they handle themselves and show their dignity, their fairness, their good intentions & their accountability. assuming you’re treating others well, the reason why so many people have failed you is that there are simply a lot pricks out there. other people’s emotional shortcomings are not on you, they’re on them! learning to recognise this may allow you to choose yourself over toxic relationships & free up space for more meaningful, dependable connection. not everyone is a fair weather friend

@tinydream 8 месяцев назад

“You teach people how to treat you,” this statement has helped me break toxic cycles bc ultimately I’m allowing it and ignoring red flags.

@josephfredbill Год назад

I nearly wrote my life story on the avoidant attachment video but instead I’ll make a point that applies to all of them. I think Kim Sage’s videos are great. They can help individuals and increase easily-available knowledge and understanding. But there is a danger here too - of getting sucked in. Dont forget you need to live too. Every one of us gets challenges in life, thats just how life is. When you have healed as much as you can you find more healing to do - it goes on (and on and on ..). Everyone has to understand their pain and heal it and to meet the challenges life presents to them (except those who never discover inner pain - we have to live with the consequences of their Karma). But experiences dont disappear, they lose their energy, they drive us less but they remain as part of us and our learning. Dont forget to enjoy life too - when you are able to - dont miss it by focusing ONLY on your pain. Life is so short. For context I am a 70 year old male who spent most of his life fighting to overcome inner pain. Now I let it rest and enjoy what life brings. Each one of us has different challenges. Dont miss the wonderfully-rich experiences of life while figuring it out. And for those who are suffering greatly - here is a (((((((hug))))))) - know that some understand your pain. Thank you Kim Sage for the work you do to make life better for everyone.

@catherinewilson1079 Год назад

Here is another 70 year old that applauds your post👏🏻 Right on❣️

@KiwikimNZ Год назад

Your onto it. I too battled everyday until one day I decided to give it up. My past is what it was, I can not change it, life is hard and once I accepted it for what it was, left it in the past were it belongs, I was able to work on repaying the damage, learnt how to live myself and with that came so much freedom, suddenly I didn’t care what others thought of me, it didn’t matter, as I know my own truth, I know I’m a good person, I know I have the ability to choose how I perceive life. I can either be resentful and in pain or I can live in the now and look for all the positives, I now choose to be grateful for all of the blessings that come into my life everyday and all of the wonderful things life has to offer. It doesn’t need to be all about suffering, yes we will all have times when we struggle, but we also have to accept it as part of life. :) through suffering comes growth. Look for the hood in everything. We all have the power and ability to change. We just need to want to. :) thank you for sharing your knowledge

@catherinewilson1079 Год назад

@@KiwikimNZ Yes! In other words; don’t be bitter! Move on and enjoy the great moments when they come❣️

@ladyfae4797 Год назад

@josephfredbill as I read your words I cried at the virtual hug point, I guess I really needed that. Thanks for the reminder to enjoy life. I appreciate you. Sending you a virtual hug

@KiwikimNZ Год назад

@@catherinewilson1079 yes it’s the only way to that you will find happiness x

@reezymp1883 Год назад

Where are these therapists IRL?? Cause mine never talks about these skills with me 😂

@mgn1621 Месяц назад

Find a trauma / Somatic Experiencing therapist.

@georgeniculescu8241 6 месяцев назад

My childhood trauma caused me so much fear of neglect and abandonment that I can’t even open myself up to anyone. I’ll be going on 27 without ever loving a woman. I’ve gotten to the point where I’ve accepted that I’m just not able to open myself up. As a child I remember thinking I’m not gonna let anyone get close to me to “get back” and anyone that hurt me. Can’t believe it actually ended up that way

@wisconsinfarmer4742 9 месяцев назад

My girlfriend did this no matter how safe our time together was. In fact the more safe it became, the more threatened she was and then fabricated issues to justify removing herself.

@alexismartinez7092 9 месяцев назад

I do that

@wisconsinfarmer4742 9 месяцев назад

I am sorry. It comes from deep wounds. I just want to cry when I see it.@@alexismartinez7092

@nothinhereok 9 месяцев назад

This video felt like you were speaking directly to my soul. I put on a facade, like I'm tuff and all this, but inside, I feel that little girl. In fear, anxious and always on guard about what's going on around her. I was vulnerable once, I was so desperate for friendships, I let other children/peers degrade, humiliate and eventually abandon me throughout my whole childhood and early teens. I'm afraid that if I let other people in, this pattern will start over and over again. My constant fear protected me, but also became my own cage. I can't form a bond. I take two steps back from anyone who tries to interact with me. They are automatically a threat. This made me and my surrounding believe, that I'm just extremely introverted. I was told that I'm a bad person, for not engaging with others. I would love to. But I just can't.

@bonghitsandheavyriffs 9 месяцев назад

going through something similar that was highly exacerbated by lockdown. you're not alone we can learn & heal ❤

@ruthgrace-sw5uj 8 месяцев назад

I know this feeling , hopefully one day it’ll be better for us all

@Yana-br4ke 4 месяца назад

I feel the same. But I try to let people in, finally they dissapear and leave me alone again and again. I 've decided not to trust them at all

@chellallah2115 Месяц назад

I was feeling the same way throughout my whole entire life

@discopotato675 Год назад

Anxiety in the morning is common because that is when cortisol is at its highest. Try lemon balm tea

@lallooosh89 7 месяцев назад

I’ve seen 3 specialists and none has identified abandonment as an issue! Literally EVERYTHING you said applies and i can relate to it!! Thank you for help me identifying my issue ❤

@tdeniseechols7434 4 месяца назад

Unfortunately core wounds are not something that is taught in programs which is such an oversight on their part. I had to learn so much of what I do in my practice, on my own. I kinda want a refund.

@lallooosh89 4 месяца назад

@@tdeniseechols7434 lol that’s a valid request Hope you always feel good and find ways to uplift your self during the hard times ❤️

@jessicacrowley9171 3 месяца назад

@@tdeniseechols7434😂😂😂😂

@LaurenceGalian 11 месяцев назад

DR. KIM SAGE: I was adopted and then abused as an infant in the orphanage. Then I was adopted by a fanatical Catholic couple who were always practicing the externals of their religion, but not the heart of the religion. My adoptive father was a rage-aholic, violent, and my adoptive mother was smothering and filled with a simmering hatred for other people while believing she was the only mother in the neighborhood going to heaven. I want to heal from the results of this childhood. I've spent hundreds of thousands of dollars seeing psychologists during the last 3 and a half decades. The best psychologists have not been able to help me even in spite of my going 3 times a week to therapy! I now have social phobia and have never been in a loving relationship. I want to know love before I die. I always choose dysfunctional women and reject the healthy women when it comes to relationships. Please do a video on adoption and a video on growing up in a cult or super religious home. Also, if you have any books on this subject, please let me know. Thanks.

@olivesandkimchi 11 месяцев назад

I didn’t watch yet. Read the titles of the chapters and immediately broke. I’m not ready. But I will be. Healing and self-development is so painful. It makes me wish I never started. Wish I never woke up. It’s the pain of being asleep and walking the earth in trauma vs the pain of waking up and healing the trauma. Both pain. I have to find and create the light.

@pamelacotte 9 месяцев назад

Take care. You will find light. Trust to your inner voice.

@AshTea22 Год назад

Crying at work right now after watching this, it explains every fiber of my being and how I feel and act in everyday life. I was only 5 days old when I was adopted but that was the first abandonment I ever experienced.The strive for perfection after not being noticed or recognized by my parents, the 4.0 gpa, sports trophies, awards etc and nothing. Still not good enough to win them over and the kicker was my father attacking me and putting his hands around my neck and my mother telling me no one will ever marry me because I’m too hard to love. I’ve read that the pain sometimes never can truely go away or be felt with until the death of the parents but I don’t want to wait that long to heal, I still try to maintain some form of relationship with them.

@angelam.e.richardson3501 Год назад

Bless you! God made you as you and loves you to bits and weeps for your hurts!

@janetblanc7658 Год назад

My heart bleeds for the neglect and rejection you were subjected to. Bravo, you made it through whole; it is your parents who lack basic human qualities. May you find the perfect partner to heal your emotional wounds. ❤

@pamelacotte 9 месяцев назад

I think healing emotional wounds comes from inside ourselves, not from a partner.

@astartecrystalmoon2325 8 месяцев назад

My mother told me I was "cold". In reality, SHE was cold. Just remember that what comes out of someone's mouth is how they talk to/about themselves. Even if your mother was married, she clearly believed she shouldn't have been. Our parents pass down their own wounding to us. Its up to each of us the break these generational "curses". God blessed us with partners that trigger this wound in us so we will look at it and heal it. Once we're aware of it, we can choose to work with it instead of against it. It's OKAY to feel abandoned. Love the part of yourself that's afraid. Be there for yourself. Sending hugs ♡

@Savvynomad225 3 месяца назад

My self abandonment has caused problems to compound in life. As I heal and recognize the negative cycles bestowed upon my life from childhood, I realize that most of my decisions have come from a place of self abandonment. Once I realized this, the new process is learning to stay true to myself and trust myself and make decisions from that place, eff what anyone else thinks or needs if they are asking/expecting things that require me to self abandon at all.

@launacasey6513 Год назад

I really appreciate the ending - somewhere around 15:52. I felt so moved by your words that I listened to that part a few times over. I wrote down a few key points and put it in the first person: I did the best I could. I survived (!). I protected myself (at the cost of being myself...I did not have the luxury of feeling safe). I'm not going to abandon myself or give up on myself anymore. It was never my fault. I didn't choose my childhood (and I didn't choose my parents). I can learn to love and support myself. I deserve to be here!

@Toytopia_ 10 месяцев назад

I did too 🥺 this part is so validating and healing

@meganshanece 8 месяцев назад

Soo healing! Loved this part

@user-vs8bc8pc5d 6 месяцев назад

I did exactly the same! These words were so healing ❤️‍🩹

@zzzwayup 3 месяца назад

Powerful… thanks for commenting the affirmations

@thecommonsensecapricorn Год назад

I have a resistance when you say “a fear that people will leave me” because I’ve always been on the other side of things, I’ve never truly felt like I couldn’t live without people. It’s part of the way I deal with my trauma. I never get close to anyone. I feel like I’m incapable of it. It’s too easy for me to walk away from people and never look back. And therefore, I’ve never felt real love. I definitely relate when you say “people are not safe” though. I have a fear that I may get to a place where I can love someone and then I’ll finally feel that fear of abandonment, and then I’ll have to work through different shit I’ve never felt before. 😔

@angelam.e.richardson3501 Год назад

Find that someone who loves you just as you are and will work through that stuff with you. Let yourself love and be loved and rest into being whole.

@sadeqkaawach1175 7 месяцев назад

I feel the same thing as you described here, but when I told my friend who is a psychiatrist about it she told me that I have this “abandonment trauma” and my behavior is a “defense mechanism”. That’s why I’m watching this video to learn more about it.

@BigSkinty91 2 месяца назад

Reindeer are better than people No seriously I can see why Christof felt that way. if it wasn't for the trolls, he'd have no one until Anna showed up.

@mday3821 Год назад

I just learned that I keep everyone at arms length and why. I never realty let anyone in but my animals. Thank you Dr. Kim. This is very helpful. ❤

@Leoneidas Год назад

Dr. Sage, as a man at 54 years old and recently realizing that the way I feel, the way I interact, and the way I trust and befriend people is not typical- not at all, I set out to find out what is wrong. Through a recent amicable divorce, my kids growing up, and no-longer needing to be in the service of others with a lot of free time, I realized I have a very weak sense of self. When I came across your video, I had been struggling for months now as to how to finally build my individuality with confidence, patience, and trust in myself. I still worried about the underlying causes and my compulsive negative behaviors I had isolated as "not normal" and "self-afflicted." When I saw this video, you checked off EVERY box about me. In one random viewing I now know exactly what afflicts me. So with this empowering clarity and knowledge I am going to go forward and learn to mitigate all of my lifelong compulsive responses so I can finally begin to be the person I have been missing my whole life. Thank you! ❤

@Incandescence555 7 месяцев назад

Well done on sharing your insight with us - I am 30 years old but your message hit me like a train. In looking for the flaws, abandonment and lack of control or obedience in others we are doomed to be alone, and resentfully alone. It is a sickness inverted inside out onto those around us that we love. The cure is gratefulness and looking at people holistically, rather than splitting them - and not anticipating abandonment just because someone was slightly out of tune with our expectations of them.

@krimsonsun10 Год назад

Time Stamps: 00:00 Intro 01:06 Self Abandonment 03:24 Compulsive shame 04:30 Compulsive Care Taking 05:49 Compulsive Self Reliance 6:33 Compulsive Numbing 07:09 Compulsive Perfectionism 08:18 Compulsive relationships 09:13 Compulsive dissociation/fantasy AKA maladaptive daydreaming 10:14 Compulsive distrust 11:52 Compulsive dysregulation 15:01 Compulsive Hypervigilance 15:48 Summary/Outro

@jessycharline1526 Год назад

Thank you

@stephanie_smith Год назад

Thank you!

@mmfrogi 11 месяцев назад

Nice thanks, I’m a note taker! Haha

@carolamiranda6715 11 месяцев назад

Thank you!

@nx26 10 месяцев назад

6:36 compulsive numbing

@morgangates7350 10 месяцев назад

When I affirm I deserve to be here and take up space I just immediately start balling and sobbing 😢thank you Dr Kim for this video.

@belligirl21 Год назад

Girl. If your daughter is texting “have you left yet?” it’s time to GO 😂. This video is spot on for me. Now go get your girl ❤

@DrKimSage Год назад

Lol I was pushing it! She tracks me like a detective 😂❤thank you for being here with me!!❤❤

@bluberry5971 Год назад

Self abandonment! WOW little did I knew? What an amazing woman and I see myself in this self abandonment several days ago. I have nothing fancy just a little confidence being so sweet I love the world and hope all present efforts are going well with people surviving the aftermath.

@nwinburn 5 месяцев назад

I'm almost 50 and my longest relationship lasted two years. No other relationship has lasted more than 5 months. I never worked for a company for longer than 3 years. Since I became self-employed 13 years ago, I've reinvented myself about 5 times, always creating new businesses and companies. I've lived in 13 different cities in 4 different countries. My fear of abandonment is so big, that I run away from everything and everyone right before I become successful because I know that whatever it is, or whomever it is that I have, will abandon me at some point. I discovered this reality of mine about 10 years ago, and I'm getting better.

@taramco1110 4 месяца назад

The hyper-vigilance of dangers and then the shutdown have both defined my entire life, from very young childhood. This is wild. Such an enlightening video. I truly don’t know where to begin either. Therapy helps, yall! Wow- This video was eye (more like heart) opening.

@brightphoebus Год назад

Where you said about being more afraid of abandoning ourselves than of being abandoned has really stuck with me. I now feel better about ending a lifelong relationship recently. I do not regret or take back what I said. In fact I'm kind of proud of myself in a way. When you piss someone off, you must stand for something. Cuz if you're just keeping quiet and people-pleasing, then you don't stand for anything. I must know something about who I am. : )

@harleirebelqwin 4 месяца назад

Thank you so much 😢😢😢. I knew I had more healing to do-but didn’t expect it to arise out of meeting someone new who is the precise epitome of who I desire to share the rest of my life with. They’d leave me for work and wouldn’t respond to texts when I saw fit and I would get anxious. Until today, I just realized it was being abandoned/neglected as a adolescent. I opened up and shared with them my feelings and they were patient with me and didn’t judge me. They accepted me for me 😢😢😢. I wish this type of love for all. Peace.

@Hamppariranskis 7 дней назад

Abandonment trauma is really rearing its head especially now as I'm starting to date people. But it's the most satisfactory journey to work through these painful memories and beliefs and honor myself.

@vesnatalevska9000 4 месяца назад

Isn’t everyone afraid of abandonment? I think it’s universal. If u luv someone ud be anxious, if u didn’t u wouldn’t care.

@nicholassmith7473 Год назад

I don't remember this but I was told when my mom dropped me off and left my dad took me to the park. I didn't talk much but I managed to sneak out 'youre not going to leave me?' to this day it makes me cry and I don't even remember it. I truly appreciate what you do for people like me. Thank you ☺️

@jajceslav5665 9 месяцев назад

Sometimes it takes one video, where every word is just spot on to realize, how unhealthy and destructive your thought process has become, and to just keep going and improving. Thank you!

@angieyaaa 3 месяца назад

To overcome your fear of abandonment, you have to stop abandoning yourself. *There.* You got me bawling. I know I have that fear, I keep on thinking that I have to be able to live alone. Duh, I should just live alone bcs people suck, unpredictable, and everyone will be a jerk at some points. So I'm making sure that I will be able to live alone. But I had never think that I'm abandoning myself. I love myself, more than anyone else, and I'm sure no one will ever love me more than I love me... why would I abandon myself? Yet, I'm relating to your every words. Oh god.

@rubbelkatz3672 2 месяца назад

Compulsive binge watching or gaming to not have to deal with loneliness. That hit way too close to home.

@tomusic8887 Год назад

I am so disappointed in my life and life in general...life is such a burden.....humans are the worst.

@hockinghillsalive3624 Год назад

Caregiving, that's me. I hoard cats and didn't even realize what I was doing until a couple of years ago. 😬

@acethe8th 2 дня назад

As soon as you said the bit about being perfect, I broke down. I don’t need to be perfect for someone to care about me, it’s so stressful trying to constantly monitor everything about yourself and make yourself flawless. Thank you for this video.

@evapavlou5296 Год назад

Bingo , yes 🤦‍♀️ I had narcissistic , abusive parents , severely in every form … 🤦‍♀️ ruminating & still trying to process & make sense of my childhood / lonely solo life , I still feel the moments of my childhood pain , suffering & severe real fear 😰 never healed ! There was no way out of their control & abuse ! After many decades I can’t see anyway around it , I’ve tried everythinggggg 🤷‍♀️ trying to let go & forget but the mind won’t let it go 😓 A lost childhood & teens & a waisted life ! No it’s not OK far from it 😔 Ty ❤️‍🩹

@ronkelawal_ Год назад

❤❤❤. That was then and this is now. You’re safe now ❤

@LeylaAmurify Год назад

Love this video but I chuckled thinking how Dr Kim was abandoning her child at the pick up stop to make sure we weren't abandoning ourselves :D

@masturawrites 7 месяцев назад

I hate both my parents for their bad parenting and lack of empathy for their children

@larsegholmfischmann6594 4 дня назад

I'm 48 and all of this rings true to me, except my sense of perfection is a little different - I don't do things, or hand in things, because I am fearful they will not be perfect or even good enough. Many of my friends have told me that I am afraid of rejection, but I've never really thought that it was the case. Now it makes so much sense to me that the real reason is the fear of being abandoned. Thank you for this.

@johnsteele9156 4 месяца назад

I'm a man 31. Abandoned by my parents at 3. Dad remarried and took on step children but forgot me. Mom was into drugs and her boyfriends would beat me. I'm having a midlife crisis finding out how I can fix myself. I was started on medication when I was 8, and all they did was make things worse. I need help so bad and I feel nobody around me wants to help. I've seen therapists, and doctors.. I'm about to give up because nothing seems to be getting better...

@BigSkinty91 2 месяца назад

Please keep fighting 😢

@AmandaMG6 Год назад

Add to regulating nervous system - bilateral stimulation audio. (Like EMDR for ears). It's been awesome for me. I love guided meditation also, but I usually fall asleep. So the EMDR allows me to stay awake and do other things

@anrod185 6 месяцев назад

Can you share some links or resources? I would like to try. Thanks

@lornaelizabeth6290 21 день назад

I am 42, I came up with so many maladaptive patterns that this isn’t something I even knew I had until recently. I would over compensate with a happy go lucky larger than life character.. it would take me years to get over relationships and then not get into any relationship for years, each relationship the loss became more intense. I am now two years into a relationship- we both have abandonment fears. We live over an hour away. We see each other weekends…. Inbetween we work on ourselves. We see and hear each other which is beautiful. I have never even been able to be vulnerable before… Abandonment wounds absolutely paralysis my body…and even makes it physically painful, anxiety, chest pains and soreness it’s unreal. very small steps each and every day and so much self compassion… ❤️

@lynn7000 11 месяцев назад

Holy shit... I've never felt so called out.. it all makes sense now. I didn't know mine was causing me so many issues

@jeweetzlfpappi 10 месяцев назад

I only learned today that Anxious Attachment Style is a thing, and that this is what makes me so painfully ashamed and insecure in so many situations... Watching this video made me realize for the first time that my very loving childhood was at the same time filled with uncertainty, feelings of being misunderstood and emotional needs not being met. Thank you for this insight. Its not fun but its definitely valuable and important. Being diagnosed with ADHD only two years ago, when I was 31, I'm still coming to terms with the implications of that diagnosis, and I feel that the notion of the Anxious Attachment Style explains most of what that ADHD diagnosis could not. As you'll understand, this combination makes anxiety, emotional regulation and impulse control particularly difficult. Since you seem impressively knowledgeable on the subject, I wonder if you can recommend any literature on the Anxious Attachment Style/ADHD combo, or perhaps be willing to make a video about it. Thank you in advance for the effort, and thanks in general for the content you're putting out.

@hgzmatt 9 месяцев назад

I feel you, I suffer from similar problems and they are very hard to overcome. I hope we can both overcome this, sending you much love.

@eternaldiamondz 7 месяцев назад

I’ve been working on getting my life back so much that it creates another reason to push people away after I get to know them for a while, I feel like if I stick around I’ll get distracted by them and neglect myself, it can be a double edged sword but nevertheless I’m still working on it and I’m happy with myself as I go! This is a great video.

@sarahbarnett8416 2 месяца назад

I feel so beaten by this video because I do all these things. Number 8 usually comes after throwing myself headfirst into soemthing and trusting then letting the fears creep in. But the rest, all the time, everytime and I know them all, I just can’t seem to stop the reactions

@MrIgorl01 Год назад

Contrary to what she says, Ive developed a reasonable fear of abandonment in my adulthood due to waking up to the fact that people, in general, are indeed not safe - something i didn't , i repeat didn't, experienced at home. Many people pretend to be moral as long as it suits them.

@allochica Год назад

Spot on. I searched for years of how abandonment effects me as an adult. I’m thankful to make these connections. Brings tears to my eyes to hear this about myself, but thank you ❤

@lovelymelanin9336 Год назад

Exactly! I was bullied, friends turned against me so I don’t trust! Thanks I needed this:

@Nic-no8nf 10 месяцев назад

My fear of abandonment has ruined some important relationships. I cringe when I think about how it’s made me act. I cant even tell you where it came from either. Thankyou for this video

@milkbread5036 6 месяцев назад

It was so scary that every single point you mentioned is me 100 percent… thank you for making this

@jellyrcw12 8 месяцев назад

I relate so much to the compulsive over self reliance and choosing unavailable people. I had a relationship with someone who truly loved me and wanted to be with me but I didn't trust it so I sabotaged it and right after went into a terrible situationship. 11:27 is the heart of the matter!

@j24601valjean Год назад

I recognise myself in so much of what you are saying in this video, but I feel stuck with the patterns of 'self abandonment. I do feel like a lost cause, overwhelmed by the pathway to healing so many compulsive responses. I am endlessly terrified of people tiring of me that it undermines every relationship, with catastrophic results in some cases. Your content strikes me as kind and compassionate... it give me a glimmer of hope in the darkness of misery.

@rascallyrabbit Год назад

that we are not dead or in prison is a miracle. Many of my friends are dead and one is in prison, she was a Manson girl who grew up in a dumpster fire, socialite family and escaped into Charles's family.

@simple_present 4 месяца назад

I just want to say that this woman is so nice to listen to!

@MyNewAesthetic Год назад

I never felt abandonment issues as a child but honestly have no idea how it started. I started having fear though starting around 16 of losing people close to me (like death.) Interestingly enough, my first traumatic loss didn’t happen until I was 23 so I can’t even link it to that (at least initially.) Now at 42 I’m dealing with abandonment and trust issues, much of which I can’t link to anything but I know is there. Unless there are things I blocked out, it’s a mystery. I’m in therapy once a week which helps, but would love to pinpoint where the abandonment came from.

@michellevicente759 8 месяцев назад

I relate to it so much! I know there was an issue but I can’t see it or remember when it started. Maybe something too traumatic my brain deleted from my memory? I always wonder… not being able to link what was that frustrates me so much… :(

@MyNewAesthetic 8 месяцев назад

@@michellevicente759 I wonder that too!! Like am I just blocking out traumatic events??

@teddan00 6 месяцев назад

I'm sorry to hear that you're dealing with abandonment and trust issues. Abandonment trauma can sometimes have roots in early childhood, even before we develop the conceptual ability to form memories (ages 0-3). These formative years can significantly impact our attachment patterns, laying the foundation for how we relate to others later in life. While you may not have conscious memories of specific events, early experiences can still shape our emotional responses and patterns of relating. Sometimes such experiences can manifest later in life, as you've described. Your commitment to therapy is a great step, working through these issues with a professional can help uncover and understand the origins of these feelings.

@Hummingbird64 Год назад

This is a huge awaking for me . I do many of these without really thinking about it . I am writing these down to work on them . I'm really grateful to you for your work . Thank you so much !

@magically_ Месяц назад

im so proud of myself for being willing to face my trauama and emotions. i have come so far!

@kristencampbell7993 5 месяцев назад

I’m 55 and I suffer from abandonment issues. My mother was never there, or she was and wasn’t there. She very told me she loved me. I had to say it first. I could never trust her or the people she brought home. She was mentally and emotionally abusive. And a couple of times physically. I don’t know how to trust people anymore. I have been sexually mentally and emotionally abused all my life and I’m trying to get better. It’s just really hard. I am going to counseling for my self esteem. And it is helping. I’m also fight or flight. I would like some day to find a healthy relationship. I have been going to counseling since I was 5 years old and I’m still messed up. Oh also when my daughter would leave I would get angry and lash out. It’s because she was leaving me. I’m not like that anymore. But it’s been 12 years since she has talked to me. And now my twin and my son. That’s why this hurts so bad, because I was abandoned by so many people for years. Sorry so lengthy. I just want to get better.

@AMBanner Год назад

Your compassion and honesty and care really comes across. I do appreciate your videos, I not only learn I feel better after watching.

@sally5256 11 месяцев назад

Soo helpful. I have been in an in and out relationship with a man who displays almost all of these traits and it’s been tough. Sweet , kind and beautiful man. Hardworking and caring - work , Aunt and two girls. Started strong and went into hermit mode since December. You are so apt in and so caring as well. I’ve done soo much to come from a place of understanding but still he has no idea how much knowledge I’ve gained. Still he is always in a state of deactivation. I feel like he wants to connect but just can’t (or he is just being nice to not let it go). He’s successful and respected at work but “the fixer” Aunt 85 and 21 year old daughter emotional issues. Feel like just wanting to let him know - I here to chat. Even that he does seem to thrilled for. It’s sad and confusing

@leahannwhite1111 10 месяцев назад

Abandonment fears are imagined.❤

@TheAnnegallien 3 месяца назад

Magical thinking when little became poisoning thinking as a grown up

@SuenosDeLaNoche Год назад

I just stumbled across your channel Kim. My first reaction was sadness. My second was hope. Yes, my youth was relatively traumatic. My adult life has been riddled with physically traumatic experiences; many from being assaulted by other people. Aftereffects have been as bad or worse than the original incidents. Epilepsy, skull tumor, bilateral eye surgery, etc. Some people can be cruel. I seek good ones. They're out there. Thank you Kim, for giving me a place to help me understand cPTSD and what I can do to rise above it. Blessed Be. Edit: my parents were wonderful humans. Things happen. Overreaction. Only one childhood memory ghost still haunts me because it's still in my bones, literally. My belief is if I can put That ghost to rest, my adult traumas will be easier to dissipate. Thank you Kim.

@janetblanc7658 Год назад

I am so sorry for all the emotional and physical traumas you have gone through. Hopefully you are now in good health and surrounded by loving friends and family ❤

@EsseQuamVideriSe7en Год назад

Unfortunately, being a Fearful Avoidant with an Anxious partner it is so hard to convince them that our safety mechanism, of distancing ourselves from vulnerability, is not a purposeful rejection of them. I mean, come on, this dynamic was hidden from me until only a few months ago. But because my Anxious partner needed me to co-regulate with her, and I wasn't there for her, I feel completely cut off now that I am ready to lean into her but she is unwilling to let me in. I guess I just have to tend my own garden and hope that eventually she sees the beauty I have growing there. And then she might finally decide to trust me and open herself up.

@DahliaDance Год назад

Dwayne, I applaud your transparency and willingness to share this vulnerable Truth. Allow me to share a common AP’s challenge with the FA: First, you’re correct in that the AP often prefers to connect and co-regulate in times of fear. Furthermore, if they experience their (FA) partner resisting that connection, that’s sometimes tolerable, perhaps a small handful of times. But when it is the continuous pattern, the AP nervous system usually cannot manage that “abandonment” experience. It’s very, VERY difficult to navigate this Attachment Style Match. An FA is typically hot and cold and an AP relies upon consistency to feel safe. I wish you the best. 🙌🏼♥️🙏🏼

@EsseQuamVideriSe7en Год назад

@@DahliaDance Really appreciate the reply. I know that keeping things buried inside is not helpful and it's part of my healing to be open and honest about everything - including the hurt I've cause my wife in our marriage and the struggles I now face. You nail the problem right on the head when you say that resistance to connection for an AP leads to nervous system dis-regulation. Unfortunately I was operating in my own domain and thought people self-regulated. This has caused my wife so much hurt over the years. Of course, now that the blinders are off, I can see that. I literally could not see this before. I thought she was too needy actually. Carl Jung said it well. "Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate." So now I know. No more "ignorance is bliss" either, not that there has been much bliss in our relationship of late. Now I know how important it is that I connect with my wife, but she has been so hurt by the constant triggering of her attachment style that she sees me as the enemy now. Of course, as a FA I want to forget the past and look to the future. And my anxious wife only wants to deal with the past before looking to the future. So many obstacles! We did the Big 5 Personality Trait test and our average difference in our traits is 53! Did I mention obstacles? Thanks again for the comment. I do have hope for the future but it's going to be a bumpy ride for a while at least.

@angelam.e.richardson3501 Год назад

Have you been able to explain to your AP that you now understand where your reactions were coming from and why it was so hard for her? AS are very loving if they understand, which is how we are as FAs

@EsseQuamVideriSe7en Год назад

@@angelam.e.richardson3501 Unfortunately, there is lots of water under the bridge. I'm hoping my wife will understand one day, but right now she is concentrating on her own healing and insisting that we need to take a break because I am too much of a trigger for her. She is probably suffering from CPTSD and I have been a big part of that. I do realize she probably does need room to heal. It's just really hard when I think I could be a much more integeral part of it if she would just let me in. Appreciate the comment.

@loekbongaarts2130 Месяц назад

Words can't describe how thankful I am for finding this video. This is exactly how I behaved. It answers so many questions I had. Thank you very, very, very much !!

@torchbird 10 месяцев назад

I c-ptsd after being fron a split home of narcissists. Ive Been working on this for over 5 yrs now. Its been a very long journey and im seeing myself getting better finally. There are still a few things I struggle with and my personal relationship with God has helped insurmountably but this def served as good reminders expaecally in this season in mg life

@pattym6129 Год назад

Thank you for what appears to be a broad working knowledge of this subject. I was adopted by a couple who knew & despised my biological parents. I endured foul-mouthed name calling slapping, kicking, shaming & on purpose humiliations. I lived in fear for 12 years; at legal age I flew the coup. I had been told continuously that I was never wanted. I was raised to be released, then told I never had a family. I needed to go on w/ my life. I remember a very telling dream I had while still in their home, that said it all. In it, I had been kidnapped, wishing they would come and rescue me. In the 2nd scene of my dream I was back in their home. In the 3rd scene of my dream they had taken me back to the kidnappers.

@thabothobejane9187 11 месяцев назад

This is one of the most important videos I've come across as it relates directly to my life situation...thank you Dr. Sage

@GgZoo-iK3to Год назад

People always bail. I'm truly use to abandonment now.

@user-dw4ik9zt6h Год назад

You just explained my whole life and I didn’t know how much I needed this, thank you 🙏

@musicmom2161 Год назад

Thank you so much! I really needed to see this. As someone who is suffering from complex PTSD this explains a lot.

@JLa-mx5tg 5 месяцев назад

POWERFUL. THANK YOU. SO MUCH TRUTH

@mariangoma718 11 месяцев назад

The emotionally unavailable partners, patterns were similar. Omg😢

@kbutson Год назад

This video came right on time. So much work on myself and yet it always come back down to the basics ❤

@nicolefranklin3431 Год назад

Thanks, tears finally words to explain my feelings and thoughts. I felt it but didn’t know it had a name.

@koala01111986 2 месяца назад

I always say that I have thousand and thousand of tv serials in my head...since childhood 🙄 it's hard to break those beliefs, sometimes they still come back like a flood

@mammadingo9165 21 день назад

Escape the right ways ... Into nature into a good book , creating playing feeling.

@nuez23747 Год назад

I disagree that others mirror us always. I keep on being abandoned but the reasons are always outside myself, f.ex. my chronical body diseases i can't do nothing in such phases i can't go out so they would abandon me as i can't keep up with healthy people They abandon me in particular when I'm desperate like now 7 months sperm donor search and hundreds of setbacks. So they have no compassion consideration and look just for fun. I used to be very terrified of being left until 35 but then it totally shifted. Abandonment issues can be real wounds from abuse in past and also in the very present. It doesn't have to do all with all with us Interestingly what you said. I'm not afraid of being abandoned anymore but I abandon myself when I grow desperate lose hope after 2 weeks in agony. So, I feel this void but it's extremely difficult in my case with shots pain sleepless nights. It's like I'm fighting for myself to not give myself up and some days I do great job, other days I can't take care of myself at all and numb totally

@Kimtran0102 9 месяцев назад

Thank you for enlightening me. My parents sent me to live with my grandparents since I was around 3-4 years old until high school and I never imagined how much this affects me until I realised my repetitive patterns in every relationship. I’ve been trying to heal myself and feeling lost in the process sometimes but I won’t give up