I was meditating one day, and I had this realization that the five year old me was still there, asking for something. Asking for validation. Acknowledgement. Neither of my parents were emotionally unavailable and I still don't go to them for any kind of advice. It still hurts. After that meditation I started to open up to it, and do some work. Acknowledge the hurt and pain I went through. That none of it was my fault. I would literally talk to the five year old self, and sometimes it was hard, and sometimes I would break down and cry. I'm working on acceptance and would hope that others understand that I'm imperfect but trying my best.
You sound like a very strung person. And very intelligent to be able to do this. I wish i could do this too. Any tips plz on how to start and where to start x
My inner child: seeking care, unconditional love, and nurture from men. My father wasn’t always there during my childhood. I sought that “fatherly” love. I’m glad, I came to the realisation I won’t find it in others. Time to close this chapter of seeking that unconditional love and move forward.
Just last night as I was PRAYING 🙏, the Holy Spirit revealed to me that I need to focus on Loving & Healing my Hurt Inner Child so that I can feel worthy of LOVE as an adult. For anyone else going thru this, it's not easy but I know it's worth it. Thankyou to the Creator of this Video in Helping me to Start My Journey of Healing & Restoration 🙏💓💓 I 💓💓💓💓💓U
So interesting. I felt the same spoken to me. I simply cannot explain or try to speak about the love of Christ to anyone else because I myself am not convinced. And why? Incredible childhood trauma. I'm now as an adult having to piece together everything and understand what happened. But I've come this far only through God's mercy and care. Praying we both are led by Holy spirit in our healing
Finally confronted my 94 year old Father my childhood experiences. He gaslights, is narcissistic and completely ignored the family dynamic by claiming we were all happy when we were definitely not! We rarely were allowed to go to other ppls homes, rarely had anyone (friends) visit us and we had no fun. It was always work. Used bullying pitting siblings against each other. INFJ here. Not a great childhood.
I completely agree. As a child having been raised by a parent from the "silent generation", I beleive that that message created a lot of men with emotional challenges in their lives and as a result, so did their children. Hopefully awareness through conversations and wonderful videos such as these, we will break the cycle.
Agree, but (as a man) I can say that we men most get in touch with our inner child and learn to treat ourselves with tenderness, self-love and getting in touch with our true, authentic feelings. It’s a healing path and certainly does not take away from “manhood”. In fact, I’d say it’s the “manly” thing to do!
Before knowing how to cultivate your inner parent, you need to identify what your needs are otherwise we don’t know what we are asking for . If you grew up in a place where your initial needs were not met then you think that it’s too much to ask whilst it’s valid. Finding the balance is the key not too much to ask and daring to ask What are your needs ? What are your values?
Thank you for this video. Getting to our inner child is the most difficult part of spiritual jorney. Someone asks is it the ego? No, ego is the part that is protectimg inner child if it has wounds that where not healed. This traumas could happen long time ago. And sometimes we cant remember it. It looks like in relationships that ypu have youre unment needs. And you crave for it. And you fell lot of anxiety and pain if you dont get want you want at that moment. Difference is that child doesnt take any responsibility for their actions and life. Like a victim behavior. Ive worked with psychotherapist for a long time, untill we realized that my wounds happened when I wasnt born yet. So reapareting than needs some guide. I do bioenergetic work, with therapist also. And I can tell that it is a the hardest thing I ever did in my life. People who expect that it ie easy, it is a mistake. And it is a mistake if not healing the inner child could give us some peace, like forget about it. We cannot forget, that is the problem. It is our subconceous program. And the ego starts to desolve when we feel more secure, and more adult. It is protecting something that we dont see. When we heal our inner child we are more opened to the world. And we feel safe, grounded, and secure. We start to feel love dor uorselves.
Margaret Paul has the best book on this: Inner Bonding. 6 steps to inner bonding. We have a core self, wounded child and loving adult in Union with God.
A few years ago I began to understand that I had an inner child, I started to learn to accept her. This video has been the most helpful and clear way to understand the inner child. Thank you so much for this, it is helping me in my journey 🙏🏻💜
In cultivating a wise inner parent that validates what my inner child is experiencing emotionally, do I tell my inner child that "it's okay to feel ...." ? What if the feeling is 'fear' or 'unlovable' ? My immediate urge is to tell that child not to be afraid. That it's safe. (All things I never heard as a child when I was afraid of dad coming home from work in a bad mood). But by saying "don't be scared" is that not denying the child's emotional experience? I'm confused on so many levels. I'm practicing consciousness and I observe myself, I notice my triggers but I don't know how to appropriately communicate with my inner child, so that I don't cause it more harm. There are many times I don't even know why such strong emotional responses are elicited within me. Like why did this trigger me? I'm aware enough to know that the overwhelming feeling taking over inside me has probably nothing to do with my now experience, and that it stems from a deeper level, but I have no idea what past event it's coupled to. I've consciously suppressed a lot of painful memories so then I can supposed that the reason I barely remember much from my childhood is that I also repressed a lot too. So then how do I heal if I don't even know why I feel the way I do? I'm nervous because I never share such thoughts publicly. And I also feel embarrassed for sharing so much. I would normally apologize BUT here's to expressing my emotions without asking for forgiveness in doing so. My parents really did a number on me huh.
Thank you for sharing. I am leading a teen group and helping to model how to be a good parent to yourself. It’s how I survived a challenging childhood and have become a happy adult. Lots of pep talks from my loving inner parent:) to my wounded and scared inner child.
It's so disturbing to feel unsafe in your own body and like you cant trust yourself, to feel like you always need someone to show you the way. Anyone got out of this mental state wanna share how they did it? 😊
Thank you for this. It made me wonder if any parent could ever actually meet all the needs of their child (physical emotional mental spiritual educational, etc)? I love how you make it very clear we are not blaming our parents/caregivers because raising children is a monumental task. Especially with multiple children, a career, etc. I blamed my parents for my issues, most of my life but through recovery from addiction, I learned that they were doing the best they could. They were great parents but not psychiatrists. Lol
You are a great teacher Dr Nicole! Thank you for your gracious manner. I have shame issues I’m working on from my past, and realize I can’t stand it when I hear someone say “ shame on you!” It tells me they are carrying ALOT of shame and projecting their shame by judging and condemning others! I have a hard time with this!
Thank you Dr Nicole I just got an email . And there was a checklist to see if your inner child is wounded. And it seems like I checked yes to every single one LOL 😪so it seems like my inner child is very much wounded 😪 I'm very thankful I found your RU-vid channel! Namaste🙏❤
Thank you for highlighting the fact that both of those things are a process. I have accepted my inner child, and am in the early stages of developing my inner parent. I sometimes find myself inadvertently shaming or invalidating my inner child with words I learned from my own parents, when I actually mean to accept her and give healing input. (Right now I am mainly realizing this in hindsight) Tips for getting ahead of these errors? Thank you for your work, you are a godsend! It seems to speak right to me. Blessings to you. 🙏🏼
The inner child is in youre first chakra. So yo need a lot of work with that also. The inner child is in our mind, and also in our body. In our body the first chakra. Grounding. A lot of grounding. Conect with body, to feel secure. And a lot of talking and mantras with youre inner child. It is a life doing work.
@holisticpsychologist, could you please share with us tips or steps to access and cultivate the wise parent to our innerchild. There is so much information out there but your work really simplifies our understanding towards healing. thankyou for being you and the work you put out there. It is impacting our lives all over the world. I am so grateful to have found holistic psychologist. 🙏🏽🌻
My father always wants the best for me and I just recently realized that my Mother subconciously kind of copied her relationship with her father who was still WW2 traumatized with me and mine. So talk about copy and paste yourself even though you never would have done that consciously.
The hardest part for me is, to forgive myself for the mistakes I've done (reacted) from the ego I've built to protect my wounded inner child 😭 I need a quick fix, I just want to be healed.
sadly theres no quick fix but something thats helped me is understanding that those ego based reactions don't reflect who you truly are, they are part of your conditioning (the habits, thoughts, wounds and learned behaviour from childhood). Those things don't get a say on your worth, who you are is the awareness behind your reactions. The you who's asking this question, the you who wants to know what things trigger you and why. You are your own best healer. She has incredible posts about this topic. instagram.com/p/B9KKQuYgFok/?
I watched the inner child meditation and was in tears in the first few minutes. Such an overwhelming amount of emotion, and I couldn't understand why I was crying. Does anyone know the deeper meaning behind this? And why this touches such a soft spot in so many of the people that watched it? I'd love to hear anyone’s thoughts 💭
Various demons (who grew out of the unhealed old wounds of your inner child) live in your shadow and are waiting for you to embrace, soothe and cultivate them with the light of your reason, kindness, knowledge and awareness. 👍🙏
When I inner parent my inner child, I co parent with the critic voice. When baby girl doing the most, critic gets to step in but then I have to check that asshole sometimes too. And it helps to hear the harshness and at time the discipline is necessary. And then my higher self comforts her. I'm a 3 parent being bro.
Inner child: hows it going pop? Inner parent: ah its going good, son, was working hard by hardly working Inner uncle: ahha youre so funny, Rick Inner second removed cousin: ahahaha
Hi Nicole, when I feel something emotionally, how do I know if that's the inner child or its the ego story? I'm so unclear about this. The video on Ego vs Inner Child also couldn't address this clearly to me. Also that I want you to know that you're a great blessing to me! I cannot thank you much!! I hope you'd respond to this. Please!!
Ego is always there. It is the part of our personality. If you have a wounded inner child, it will be so strong. Because it tries to protect the inner child. It will desolve if you can help youre child to grow up. Its not once time job.. It is hard.. Lot of anger, sadness, shame, gulit comes up. Fear of aloness, fear of people, feeling unsecure. Emotion is a normal state of human being, the point is to feel but not react like a child would. And to come to this you need to heal. No way around. I know this from my own expirience, and rhings that Ive tried. I now work with bioenergetics, Brenan method, because my child wasnt born when had the first trauma. And I can say that it is the hardest thiing Ive ever did in my life. But I know I have ro go through this to heal. And to live again. Wish you luck
Ego is also the wounded inner child.. who is unconsciously driving our daily behavior i.e being in autopilot mode. That's why it's necessary that we stay present so we practice bringing ourselves back into manual mode.. I hope this perspective helps 💕
@@sophiamaryn5232 Hi Sophie, thank you so much for the response. I'm grateful to you. So, just being aware and conscious about ourselves validates the inner child and as well calms the ego, right?
Nikitha P Jain Awareness is the foundation I’d say. You can be aware that you’re operating from your ego and have an “inner child meltdown” and still do nothing to actively move out of that state. if you have awareness of your state of mind, it is best to find tools and practices that help you shift your state of mind. And the more you practice awareness and acknowledge your ego/inner child, the more you’ll see it and be able to separate yourself from it. Some practical tools are removing yourself or finding a quiet “safe” spot to calm yourself down, validate yourself, say to your inner child “I see you. its okay. I love you. your needs are important.” Or you can take deep breaths, perhaps put on some ambient music or sound frequencies. Find what works for you! When we are activated its so hard to calm down but finding something that can ground us and bring us back to a parasympathetic, “higher self” state will progressively heal us.
can you help me understand what validating is? Is that when you immediately seek advice for things instead of doing it yourself? Excellent videos, you've changed my life!
I am not the expert but for me it is like waiting approval from outside for the things that I do or feel. I feel like I can't trust my decisions or embrace my feelings or accept who I am with a power coming from inside but always seeking for validation of what I am doing or who I am basically.
How do you know the difference between your inner child and just your brain responding back to you? How do you know when you are truly talking to your inner child vs just your brain
Hmmm... I think I hear where you’re coming from. My thought is that they too were/are wounded children themselves. Yes, it’s sad that they passed in dysfunction, but perhaps they didn’t know any better themselves. Doesn’t mean I have to have them in my life, I can have boundaries, but maybe I just need to focus on my inner child and stop the dysfunction in my lifetime.
At a very young age. My mom told me. What is the point of crying she told me crying doesn't solve anything and ever since then I have a trouble with crying
What's the critical/core difference between Ego & Inner-child? And even it's important to know the difference when the ultimate goal is to be aware of these two and have enough space for these two?
Her previous video answers this. Also, if it’s not enough, perhaps watching her videos on ego then on the inner child will help to understand better ☺️
I think i drain all my energy while talking to some people who are not worth it, they were never kind. To me ever. So should i think about myself or still continue talking to them?
I saw a inner child guided hypnosis. Would u reccomend that? Im feeling very called to try it. Almost like my inner child really wants me to so i can get some good progress on healing
