How to Honor a Toxic Mother Who Doesn't Deserve It

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In this video we talk about 6 tips to honor a toxic mother who doesn't deserve it.
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2 авг 2024

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Комментарии : 166

@Kris_Reece Год назад

FREE Toxic People Survival Guide krisreece.com/toxic-people-survival-guide Toxic Mother Survival Course - The Christians Guide to Dealing with a Toxic Mother Biblically krisreece.com/toxic-mother-survival-course/

@thando_mvandaba9844 Год назад

Honestly speaking, healing from a toxic mother is no different from escaping from a cult💔🤞🏼, because from day 1 its always been about controlling your thoughts, gaslighting and never questioning her authority.

@Kris_Reece Год назад

sad but very true in many cases. thanks for sharing

@Jan-kf7bt Год назад

lol I went through both so yeah this is spot on

@authenticme5708 Год назад

You nailed it. It's like being raised in a cult not knowing that everything will be cult-like until healing from codepency. I now have a low contact relationship with my mother. I use tough love and grey rock. I'm no longer afraid of her. And I do say 'No' to her. She sends an all out victim strategem that no longer works. I can see her patterns and know how she will attempt attack next. She's now bittersweet and a Trojan horse will appear and it will be a gift which I will decline. Last time the gift was clothes. I declined because it's 'love bombing' and she gets an oxytocin rush. When I see her using me I grey rock and remain in this until I leave. I have set limits on what I decide to help her with. She has money, she can hire out what I choose to not do.

@mirnacudiczgela1963 Год назад

Same here. My mother even told me that her ways were not my ways and her thoughts were not mine quoting Isaiah 55 as though she were God.

@mirnacudiczgela1963 Год назад

And when I asked her if she was blaspheming she would say no, she wanted to make me understand she knows best and I should always obey her.

@kurthanke5788 Год назад

You can still honor your mother, without being around her. Also, as an adult, honor our parents, but we do NOT have to obey them. A former pastor said it best. You should honor your mother and father, but their parental authority over you, is over 😊

@mifnp8887 Год назад

"Honoring" your toxic mother: 1. By accepting her the way she is (not by accepting her behavior) 2. By being the change you desire 3. By praying for her heart to be changed (we need to pray for those who mistreat us) 4. By forgiving her 5. By loving her from your safe space (you don't have to be in a relationship with her!) 6. By leaning into Jesus (your going to need supernatural intervention/assistance!)

@-xyz-012 8 дней назад

Not easy to do when they live with you and you’re their carer and it affects your emotional and physical well being😢

@donna62016 Год назад

I needed this, as it's been a struggle. I learned something very toxic from her and did not realize it until the Lord revealed it to me in 2021. I hurt my husband for years, and did not realize it until the Lord showed me. My husband tried telling me, and I could not see it nor understand until God revealed it to me.

@jtoland2333 Год назад

Same here. I think He designed us that way, that our minds shut down certain things that are too painful for us to see in the moment. And once we become strong enough, He allows those things to surface. So, that means you are healing! You are ready now to see the truth. You are strong enough now to handle it and make changes.

@jemg4419 Год назад

I can relate. God bless you and your husband ❤

@Pacifica74 6 месяцев назад

Praise God!

@gwendolynwehage6336 Год назад

My mother worked hard every day to demean me, mock me and teach my brothers to do the same. I was kind to her to the end, but when she died I cut off my brothers. They gossiped and alienated extended family by their gossip and lies. Praying for my family helped me to avoid bitterness, also accepting who they are also helped me to avoid bitterness. I believe we are only bitter when we are frustrated that they will not stop. When we don't care if they stop and ignore them and even go no contact when we can, we will not be sucked into bitterness. The devil wants us to be bitter and angry like the narcissists.

@mariamadsen7071 Месяц назад

God Bless you! Thank you for sharing your testimony, it helped me at a very much needed time. Jesus heard my prayers and lead me to your message! I noticed you wrote this about 1 year ago, I pray you have found some peace and that life is treating you kind. So sorry about all you went through, God is shaping us, molding us to follow Him, I know He has all the answers. God's grace and peace be with you today and always! ♥

@gwendolynwehage6336 Месяц назад

@@mariamadsen7071 thank you!!!! And the same to you too!!!

@-xyz-012 8 дней назад

Harder when they life with you and your their carer, you can’t escape it 24/7 it’s constant even when my mother is sleeping she will wake up to call out derogatory comments.

@usatodaywife Год назад

I'm so fortunate my mother stopped contacting me and call-screens and doesn't pick up the phone--she made it so easy to avoid her toxicity. I don't even bother calling or trying to make contact anymore. Hey, I'm honoring her wish to be left alone LOL I LOVE HER NARCISSISTIC SILENT TREATMENT :)

@achhkay4229 Год назад

Never had warmth , pateints, nuturing or love 😢Man this hurts !!!I dont even like being around my mother !And what hurts the most is because of the constant let downs

@Corinna_Schuett_GER Год назад

Psalm 27:10 "When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up." 🙏💖

@mariw1298 Год назад

Your Mom cannot give you what she was never given and what she doesn't have. Jesus loves you. May you feel His Presence and His peace as you turn your eyes to HIm today. May Psalm 23 minister to your deepest needs. In Jesus Name. Amen.

@clancykeegan748 Год назад

I really believe that God is showing me the truth and as I get older and need to look after myself more, God is giving me the courage to finally walk away.

@jemg4419 Год назад

The pain is real, because what happened and what is happening is real. I'm 48 and my mother is turning 80. I had a conversation with her today as I'm helping her with with my very sick (mentally & physically) baby sister who is in the hospital. She did not agree with what THE DOCTORS are saying about my sister, it's a long story. Therefore, it is my fault, and she brought up something I did when I was 20 years old... "you don't care about me.... you are careless, self-centered and only think about yourself...." I'm beginning to believe I do need to think about myself more as my job, marriage, family, health, are chronically on the backburner for my mother. I love and honor her, and I need to continue my journey of taking more steps away from her and placing healthy boundaries. I don't want to live life with dark, somber moments of feeling less than, anymore. My dream of having a mom who genuinely loves and wants me in a healthy manner, simply will not happen, and I must accept this. This helped tremendously - thank you.

@jonsil001 6 месяцев назад

Can we also talk about the verse: "And parents, do not provoke your children to anger"????? I'm so glad I found your channel. In the African community, religion is heavily used and weaponised against children victims of narcissistic parents and culturally children are not to question their parents. Admonishing your mother is tantamount to taboo and the shaming you would receive is beyond unbearable. You go form being a victim, to being a double victim. So it adds a whole new level of complexity to what is a serious issue for even anyone of any culture. We are taught to accept abusers as they are. DO NOT PROVOKE YOUR CHILDREN TO ANGER. I'm my view, the honour parents receive will be directly linked to whether they speak and do things of honour. If your words and actions do no reflect honour, YOU WILL NOT RECEIVE HONOUR.

@mvbigmagic4048 5 месяцев назад

Yes, that verse I believe is from Ephesians. Ephesians 6:4. But here's another one: Matthew 19:29-30 "And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life. But many who are first will be last, and many who are last will be first." In my case, my mother has been doing some very wrong things.... breaking ten commandments. Her behavior is not safe for me or my kids. And so I am leaving "for Jesus' sake," as he instructs in Matthew 19:29-30. I cannot condone behavior that hurts people. :( Even if it's from my mother.

@MsDera81 4 месяца назад

@@mvbigmagic4048 I read and relate to a lot of comments on this subject, but something about your comment really touched my heart. I cut my maternal grandmother off about 18 months ago. I can't get into what exactly she did, but I will say that it was pure EVIL, and if gotten out of control, could have easily caused violence within the family, death, and more. For many years I put up with anything that she wanted to do to me. I even have a very vivid memory of a lie that she told years ago, that caused someone very dear to me to be physically beaten up because of it. I saw her tell the lie. I also saw the look of pure delight while she watched the person she lied on get slapped around and thrown to the ground. Not once did my grandmother try to intervene. She looked as though she wanted a bucket of popcorn and a soda to go with it. I left church for a while because I was being judged by her church friends and pastor for cutting her out of my life. They judged me even thought they have a majority of the details on what she did to endanger me, my spouse and my child. It's like they put so much importance on the title and age, that whatever consequences that anyone else may suffer from her toxicity doesn't even matter. They only care that the "mother" gets her way. I'm very concerned for the baby Christians that buy into that kind of teaching and secretly struggle with their relationship with GOD because they believe that GOD loves the elders more than he does the youth. I'm sticking with my decision to Stat away no matter what. And I'm still cutting off supporters of evil.

@quasimodo614 2 месяца назад

@@MsDera81My goodness, I hope peace and healing come to you and you are fully restored 🙏

@christthelord91 Год назад

I wonder about this lady's relationship with her mom? She has so much insight on this topic

@Anna-gk8ff Год назад

If she thinks you are able set up boundaries with a truly toxic mother, she clearly does not have an idea what a truly toxic person means. The only thing you can do in this case is RUN, RUN, RUN and do not turn back.

@terrancebroughton3442 7 месяцев назад

Absolutely ... They will never change

@electricred91 5 дней назад

@@terrancebroughton3442 you're absolutely right

@suzygibson3274 Год назад

Thank you Jesus !! Holy Spirit led me here!! ❤

@g.pearson4726 7 месяцев назад

When someone show you who they are believe them ~Maya Angelou

@LoveLyriks 3 месяца назад

Yes! Powerful woman... Credit definitely due

@elisabethc.9191 Год назад

Thank you so much for your videos. Through these I finally found out about my mother. I always thought something was wrong with me that my mother treats me like that. Finally I prayed that the Lord shows me what the problem is. I am sooo reliefed. Now I understand all her cruel messages. In addition she was involved in occult practices. I can only thank Jesus for saving me and leading me through this all. He protected me soo often. Now I can share this experience and deliverance with others. Thank you so much for your ministry. God bless you, greetings from Austria

@MsPrecious61 Год назад

The Lord helped me so much explaining "Honoring our (toxic) Mother. I asked Him why there is not a Commandment for Parents towards their children? His answer, "There is. The 1st and greatest commandment to "Love The Lord God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength and to love your neighbor as yourself". "Who is a parent's greatest neighbor? Their child. They are to love their child as God as called them to love. 2. The Commandment to honor your parents is for a young, minor child's protection, not for parents to control their child, especially once they are adults. The commandment to honor a parent does not work unless the parent loves their child. Jesus said that loving your neighbor fulfills the law. Love is the cover to protect a child because the parent loves the child so much, that the child's obedience is a loving protection. I hope this makes sense. We do not have to put up with abuse, control and manipulation of honor to an abusive situation.

@Corinna_Schuett_GER Год назад

Parents (especially fathers) are told to "not provoke" their children to wrath which is the wrath of God. Eph 6:4: "And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord."

@Prettypersuasiann 5 дней назад

This is so good!

@francisfischer7620 8 месяцев назад

I have. She's 90. I'm 70. It just never ends.

@fanofmansbestfriend 2 месяца назад

So sorry about this, i'm 33 years old, I have 2 of them, one 80 the other 70, the older they get the worse it gets. I find that toxic narcissistic people live so long because they give stress and pain to everyone around them.

@Pacifica74 6 месяцев назад

I finally reached the point where I really don't want a relationship with my mother. Because she's shown she doesn't really want one with me. It took me 15 years to get here. God knows the effort I put in by His grace. It's time for me to protect myself.

@Niko-1004 Год назад

Boundaries do not work.. it's no contact.. honor by not talking bad of her.. but do not stay around or have them spend time with your children .. she will divide them and also pin them against you.. stay away

@Corinna_Schuett_GER Год назад

YES. 👍👍

@jann0626 6 месяцев назад

My Mother’s toxic behavior started with her drinking and narcissistic behavior that went along with it. I’ve had counseling for years to help me deal with it along with many prayers asking me to change my attitude toward her. The more boundaries I put up, the more distance and distain she showers toward me. I have been a caregiver for her for many years because she is old now and can’t take care of herself. I find it so hard to even look at her or be in the same room as her even after years of counseling. Your advice is helpful and I will once again pray I can do these steps you outlined, especially to forgive her and accept her for who she is, even if the same respect isn’t returned.

@LG-wm1nw Год назад

Thanks for this teaching. My mother has severe mental health issues and is the quintessential narcissist. I am doing what I can to help her in obedience to God. Pray for me and for her that she would finally be able to find true forgiveness in Christ and let go of all her worldly idols that have left no room for the Saviour's love.

@mariw1298 Год назад

What a precious response to that very difficult trial! I pray for you that GOD would give you the measure of grace and peace that you need for this trial and may He bring it to an end and set her free from whatever demon is troubling her--look beyond the fault and see the evil spirit that is influencing her and plead the precious blood of Jesus over her. Lord Jesus, please set her mother free from all evil and grant her the grace to worship you. Amen.

@desiderata333 9 месяцев назад

amen. @@mariw1298

@desiderata333 9 месяцев назад

amen.

@sharnetnunley5737 Год назад

Thank you so much. I really appreciate this message in that you are explaining the difference between honoring and obeying our parents/mothers. This information/message should be taught in our churches. And yes we need to forgive our mothers and everyone for all of the hurt done to us.

@Corinna_Schuett_GER Год назад

Forgiveness requires "not knowing what they do" but narcissists ALWAYS know what they do. You can at best "not charge" them for their sins towards you. But for the rest they will go to hell anyway. 🙏

@maryjosephine6744 Год назад

My dear, I'm literally sick and tired of trying! I'm done. NOTHING absolutely nothing works. Whatever i tried, nothing worked. It is better to stay away. Even for that she is attacking. How can a human being be unhappy, jealous, toxic, trash-talking, negative, blaming, etc. NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO. TELL ME?! I am just praying for them and that's all.

@MsDera81 4 месяца назад

I know how you feel. I did absolutely everything as well. I went NO contact. I mean NONE whatsoever, for a whole year. She can not accept or believe that I could cut her off. She stalks me. Sends messages through other family. I'm also amazed at the number of family and family friends that I have had to cut off because they judge me for going no contact.

@gracemaries_dec2023 4 месяца назад

I have same situation and I found out she's partially possessed.

@susanneb6176 3 месяца назад

I prayed and asked the Lord to show me how He sees my mom...she's a broken child that lashes out. My compassion for her returned and I am able to pray for her. Boundaries are still necessary, but I no longer have the unholy attachment to a sociopath.

@hg3895 Год назад

This is sad situation, my ex hated his mother and father so much. Even people at work. He looked down on everyone. Of course eventually he hated me. I thank God he gave me the heart to forgive my difficult father. Sadly he was the textbook example of turning to what you hate. I pray he gets better.

@mariw1298 Год назад

I love your response. GOD is so good to give us a heart of mercy toward our enemy even if that enemy is our own relative. My daughter is married to a man who also hated his parents, and looked down on everybody. He hates me, too.

@liletdicuangco4141 Год назад

I set bounderies but my dad always crossed the line. Most of the time he slamed the door and window to hurt me. It is real struggles, emotionally and verbally abuse and the effects are real.

@aywilliams1552 Год назад

I praise God and have done all of the things that you have mentioned. Unfortunately I have had no choice but to go no contact. Its only been 6 months after over 25 years of limited contact. My soul cannot take the abusive belittling speech towards me any longer. She does not honor the Jesus in me and professes herself to be a Christian. My heart breaks for her because she has allowed herself to be influenced by this demon for 79 years of her life. I'm God's Child first and this is child abuse. These have been the most peaceful freeing 6 months of my entire life not having that dynamic. Only God can reconcile this relationship. It's in His hands. I will continue to live this "more abundant life that Jesus died for me to have". I can't be distracted by her attacks any longer. This teaching is a blessing!

@cjay2658 Год назад

Thank you sooo much. I've been struggling with this issue for a long time. I will be praying for my mother and accept her the way she is. God Bless you! 🙏

@Kris_Reece Год назад

Thanks for watching

@Selfemployedmildautisticperfor Год назад

accept toa level and many good points again from you ty, however as my spouse is about to come down @ the cycle continues part, anyway someimtes "trahing" is more ventnig,

@lauraleaf1582 Год назад

Thank you for this! I really needed it

@Kris_Reece Год назад

I'm so glad you've found it helpful. Thanks for watching

@salsasoul4112 4 месяца назад

I can not honor a "mother" who has been terribly abusive. I grew up watching her physically abuse my Grandmother. She would beat her like Mike Tyson in the ring. I don't forgive her. I don't like her. We're done. She has always been a MONSTER! Let God handle her, because she's dead to me. Thank you for this video. I'm just not there in my heart, yet.

@ChrisN-hs7dh 7 дней назад

exactly, they think they are right. they will get people to support their bs. its all a game nothing but cowardice

@rebeccajones8628 Год назад

Excellent advice. Thank you.

@Kris_Reece Год назад

Thanks for watching Rebecca

@rikivanderlinde3277 2 месяца назад

God bless you 🤗😑

@christinalw19 Год назад

Great advice to “obey God’s commandments” to bypass the hurt and anger. It’s not about feelings, it’s about intention. Being an empath and Knowing God from a very young age, I knew that I was smarter and stronger than my histrionic mother. She was never there for us emotionally, but she was damaged by her mother. I took care of her the last 10 years of her life out of duty & honor, which helped me process many issues I had because of my childhood. She passed at age 101 in 2018.🙏🏼

@nataliapola6988 7 дней назад

You are so helpful. I always questioned the biblical passage about honoring your parents. I would feel guilty for being angry at my mom sometimes. But you have opened my eyes and hearing you give me a better understanding what it really means to honor thy father or mother. I wish you many blessings.

@shadowsidesoamplified Год назад

What an amazing video. So simple. Growing up with a borderline and bipolar mom and an alcoholic father i have been struggling with mental health issues , especially when it comes to my mother who has parentified me. I didn’t even realize until a few years ago that it’s not normal to rely so heavily on your child for emotional support. I’m always in the rescue mode for her at the expense of my own sanity. I have been doing a lot of work with setting healthy boundaries. It’s hard when you have a secular therapist because they don’t understand the biblical commandments that we struggle to live by. This has really helped me. Thank you so much

@cass2883 Год назад

I would suggest finding a Christian counselor that can lead you biblically. I will also pray for your healing

@masoodpervaiz6044 Год назад

Love unconditionally just as God loved us. Hallelujah!!! . . . dear Kris I thank God Almighty that he has filled you with Divine wisdom. May God Shine his face upon you and bless you more n more.

@jtoland2333 Год назад

As a Pastor once told me, love unconditionally but dont be a doormat.

@masoodpervaiz6044 Год назад

@@jtoland2333 thanks I like that God bless you dear J Toland

@iDelta77 Год назад

You have no idea how this message has helped me balanced this bible verse because most Christians don't even want to hear my explanation/my story.

@TropicalRedFlower Год назад

Hi Kriss! I still love my mom, and want to buy her a house when I get the money even before buying one for me, I'm going to get her a new one or fix/remodel her current one. I just have come to terms with the fact I might never have a healthy relationship with her and will have to keep my distance so I don't end up resenting her. I thank God He helped me realize this using teachers like yourself before it was too late so I was able to place boundaries. I will help her out financially but won't be too close to her to protect my peace unless she finally lets God transform her heart and leave religiousness for a real relationship with Jesus.

@christthelord91 Год назад

Facts!

@aienamukanova6930 10 дней назад

A sober teaching!

@fanofmansbestfriend 2 месяца назад

I have two narcissistic abusive parents and I live with them at 33 years old, they are old and miserable always fighting. I have sought help from multiple therapy sessions and it doesn't help much, I am now physically sick and cannot work or get help from the government. I do not have caring friends and often they too are never available or supportive, in fact one cut off contact with me when I reverted to Christianity because she's a lesbian Christian. My dog whom I love is sick and I depend on my parents financially because of work problems and because my dog's vet fees are too much. I having been praying for over 10 years for my situation. Nothing works, I tried to move out and saved so much then my dad got involved and ruined that. I'm so hopeless with despair. People I thought were my friends abandoned me as soon as I got sick and because i'm not rich or in a relationship. No matter how hard I pray or try to improve my life I am always met with bad luck. I want to kill myself but God doesn't want that either he allows me to suffer, no one cares for me, I don't even feel love from God anymore, I feel punishment, hatred, anger and worthlessness. I hate myself for not being a normal good person that can be loved.

@mariatolich4056 11 дней назад

Monitoring spirits at work here. Use your Christ given authority and tell them where to get off in Jesus name. And command their evil altars to be torned and scattered. When you pray, pray in silence so that those can't hear what you're saying.❤❤🙏✝️♥️

@DavidEmailman Год назад

What has my family done for me in over 30 years! This is not right all of my friends noted it. As my friends rightly said some people don't see themselves as wrong or at fault or bad. What can you do? Try to have hope, faith, friends and move on.

@curtistinemiller4646 Год назад

When someone shows you Who they are the first time....Believe them....Maya Angelou.....

@robinliberato3142 Год назад

My father sexually physically abused me emotionally also because my mother was extremely jealous of me an allowed all of his abuse and denied any of it

@angelsrage9390 13 дней назад

Hello, I am socially awkward, I think that's what it's called...... I have never commented on a channel before. Forgive me if it comes out kind of wonky LOL. Thank you for being you! Your balance between education and scripture is perfection. I truly appreciate your channel and all the hard work you put into it.

@meanimeconingles Год назад

Accept her. No, thank you. I pass.

@Corinna_Schuett_GER Год назад

"Accept" in the way you accept the sky is blue or the dog barks. Not withstanding facts. As this is a Christian channel we all should have another perspective on things.

@adinamedrea5303 8 месяцев назад

I want to add something people don't really talk about. Advice in the Bible was given when the whole context and life was different. In ancient times, once you were married, you had your own life with your husband/wife, which most of the time meant you were going to live in another village or town and it was unlikely that you would visit your parents too often. There were no telephones or internet back then, so there was no way for your mother to send you daily advice through whatsapp, calling you "just to check if you are ok" and so on. Life in itself has become very complex and difficult situations arise which did not exist back then. Also, people nowadays don't understand how hard life was. When you had to grind wheat, bake bread, make a stew, wash clothes, work in the garden, clean the house, you really don't have time to develop o narcisisst personality. Mothers nowadays have a lot of free time.

@miriam100ful Год назад

Does the toxic mother honours her children? Does she care for or nurture them? No. Honor and dignity go both ways Kris. People will pamper the toxic narcs under the umbrella of Christianity, pushed by the so called ministers.. Where is the justice in that?

@phenomenonto328 Год назад

Can you also do the father version of it

@healing7282 Год назад

Amen! Thank you for this!

@lisavenuto3928 Год назад

This video really helped so much

@MsDebs777 Год назад

Much needed, thank you so much for sharing. God bless you and your ministry ❤️🙏🏼

@debbieforhim7800 Год назад

I love this, thank you! Both my father and step-mother are very toxic and so I had to permanently ban them FINALLY from my life, but I still needed to understand "honor thy mother and father", so thank you for this. BUT I think forgiveness should not be predicated on repentance because for my own mental and spiritual health I had to forgive them years ago and in their minds I am sure they think they did nothing wrong. So, I understood they were INCAPABLE of giving me what I really wanted and needed - an apology and repentance - so I had to finally walk away and forgive. I hope that made sense....

@amandachristianson2402 Год назад

Amen! God will give supernatural strength. We can’t forget this crucial element.

@maryscarcelli7569 Год назад

Kriss Reese explained this very well !!

@Isa-sf7jx Год назад

Thank you for this video 💜🙏

@christinagarcia8166 Год назад

Can you make a video on toxic adult children??

@elizabethbordeaux5177 Год назад

yes please . Alot of us have toxic children! I 😥

@Kris_Reece Год назад

Hi Christina, I did a video on How to Handle Adult Toxic Children. here's the link. I pray it blesses you. ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-XYt1bvRO34E.html

@Kris_Reece Год назад

@@elizabethbordeaux5177 ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-XYt1bvRO34E.html

@HollywoodStalksMe Год назад

Thank you, i'm blessed to have found your page

@mihaelacerchez8394 9 месяцев назад

Thank you so much for this video. It is my answer to my prayer.

@pharmclare Год назад

Awesome and helpful information Thanks

@TiannaUncommon Год назад

Thank you ❤

@jacquelineshuttleton3489 Год назад

Ive heard lots about toxic mothers I had a mother who had toxic behaviours Im one of 9 children Im bang in the middle I was the cinderella/scapegoat who mum used & i wouldve done anything to be loved, accepted , cherished by mum, She was brutal toward me including violence, I could never hate her or abandoned or reject her. Some of my siblings completely cut my parents out of there life's. I did get the chance to talk out with her about her behaviour & how she singled me out. There where many heated discussions & yes, i eventually put boundaries in place for both our good which mum didn't like but it helped. Mum past away 7yesrs ago While i acknowledge she really hurt me i also forgive her. I chose to believe she did her best with what life handed her & some how that helps heal the pain of the losses in life.

@flowerbomb9241 Год назад

Wow, I am So glad I can across your channel 😭

@clancykeegan748 Год назад

I've just gone no contact with my entire family and ex. They all scapegoated me. I'm 58 and sick and tired of the abuse!

@jtoland2333 Год назад

Thank you for this. I struggle with honoring her because she is not an honorable person. I may need the survival course, because this woman forced me to do criminal things when I was little; shoplifting, stealing from my friends' mothers, and one time, arson. Or she would lie and have me swear to it. After my father (who is, by the way, also horrific in his own special way) kicked her out, she ran to me and basicly ruled my life AGAIN. Every day I renew my forgiveness for her. I don't want to, but I do. Ive asked Jesus for help. I don't feel different, but that doesn't mean He is ignoring me. I hope Im on the right path. I hate to say it, but shes not worth going to Hell for. I do pray for her. But its so hard, because I feel so empty and numb because to much has happened. Its like Im detatched and I just don't care. Im not a good person.

@Corinna_Schuett_GER Год назад

Dear sister please check out my separate comment on this topic. I feel like this is a "religious ritual" but not really helping scripturally. Some sins can at best be "not charged" but remain unforgiven. (Acts 7:60) Don't worry about that, bless your heart! 🙏👰💖

@bambiklopfer5429 Месяц назад

Helps me so much❤

@nicolesanders4692 4 месяца назад

God bless you Kris God used to speak to my heart I found myself raised by a toxic mom, only to inherit what she done to me and I am a mom myself trying to live for God now but I didn't realize that I still haven't been healed or forgiven her ... But no more I need space I need to pray for her and for myself.. I ask for prayers for my heart and that my daughters and I will have a better relationship .. ❤

@nonawolf7495 3 месяца назад

Thank you for making this video - your words have helped so very much. My frail (and very toxic) 86 year old mother refuses to consider assisted living, or even a home health care worker. Instead - she wants me to abandon my job/home/husband and move across the country to be her live-in care taker. She has absolutely no concern that this would put my finances in jeopardy and place a strain on my marriage. For the very first time in my life, I said "no" to her - and now she will no longer speak to me. I've been praying that God will soften her heart (and mine) so that we can work together to get her the care she needs. Thank you so much :)

@rosiemcking72 Год назад

Thank you for covering this and I adopt honouring our mother and father even if toxic and as per God's commands, however, what about these toxic siblings?? These I DO struggle with...

@Corinna_Schuett_GER Год назад

Check out how Joseph did to his brothers, perhaps this is an option for you? Gen 50:20: "But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive." 🙏💖

@LibbySlaughter101 3 месяца назад

I have toxic siblings. They are all narcissistic & learned that behaviour from my mother, who learned it from her father. My mother is old now & I have had to become her primary care giver. It's extremely difficult but was made worse by my siblings. I cut them off, one by one. The last one was my younger brother who is a covert narcissist - yet I realised his behaviour was just as damaging. I have zero contact with them now. My mother I have to put up with though her behaviour has improved because she doesn't want to go into a nursing home but it's still traumatizing at times. Toxic siblings are best cut out of your life. Pray for them.

@terrancebroughton3442 7 месяцев назад

My mother hates her kids and doesnt want us around .. her wish is my command..

@katiedid9601 Год назад

I am very happy I found this video. I have spent years talking with a counselor and banging my head against a brick wall trying to have a good or at least normal relationship with my toxic narcissistic mother. She has been diagnosed as narcissistic, so I am not just saying that. My question to you, Kris , is how toxic is toxic enough to remain no necontact and only love her from a distance? She was never physically abusive at least not that I remember. But she has acted in very hurtful ways to me and my family, and she is chronically negative and bitter about everything in her life.

@bojackson8492 9 месяцев назад

My mother is the worst eater I've ever known raised me on sugar and fast food now at thirty years old I have major stomach and liver issues and can't get her to comment on my situation at all she literally stares at a wall then to comment on my situation. For example I've been bleeding a lot in the bathroom and I choose not to flush so she can walk in and see the serous problem going on but I hear a flush and nothing is said and that's what I deal with. So I just let my issue get worse fk it thanks mom

@fanofmansbestfriend 2 месяца назад

This sounds like my parents, my dad abandoned me when I fainted many times at home, one time it happened at the surgery and they told him off, i've grown up to believe that neglect is normal until I saw how other people's parents treat their kids, i'm 33 years old. I'm so sorry for what you're going through. It must be so difficult for you, pining for your mothers love.

@NaomiChan38 Год назад

多謝！

@Azure_Zahab_Truth_Zealot Год назад

I struggle with the loving from afar I don't know how to do that without causing more trouble

@MarieGiles-gb8pn 22 дня назад

I appreciate your video because this is a hard battle..How can you honor someone that shames you and makes you suicidal? That makes no sense..and how can you express yourself and get couseling if your not supoose to speak badly about..religious control there's no way out except no contact!

@tarao4382 Год назад

👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾💯💯💯👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

@Pacifica74 6 месяцев назад

What does that actually look like to honor your mother without being in relationship with her?

@ExquisiteKinkyCoils 9 месяцев назад

❤❤❤

@haPPySundAy970 2 месяца назад

♥️🙏

@PistolAndPluck Год назад

❤️🙏🏼❤️🙏🏼❤️

@maryscarcelli7569 20 дней назад

Why on earth would God tell us to honor a toxic mother??????

@doreenmelchy9964 Год назад

Can u please talk about toxic fathers

@poncho1710 6 месяцев назад

I don’t k ow what to do with my situation. My mom lives with us and it’s stressful and I can’t distance myself from her. She’s so negative and I can’t tolerate it anymore so it brings out the worst in me. I can’t tell her to move out she can’t drive anymore so she can’t work. And she doesn’t have any other family. My brothers and dad passed away so it’s just us. I pray about it but it’s ok for couple days and back to negative. I noticed I started being mean and nasty back and I don’t want that. I feel so guilty. I can’t keep hiding out in my bedroom on my own house. Any advice ???

@juliettatrudy2829 Год назад

How should a Christian parent of an adult child do or not do when they seem to be falling away from the faith or truths of God’s word? They are not raising their own children in Christ. I have been told that even talking about things is breaking their boundaries. I am now left walking on eggshells trying not to offend them and feel like I am not being allowed to be what I feel called to be in their presence, and the relationship feels shallow and fake. Help!!!!! Please discuss on your RU-vid channel.

@Corinna_Schuett_GER Год назад

Julietta you cannot force them but pray for your grandchildren. If they're still little, pray that the rapture will take them to heaven SOON (1 Thessalonians 4:17). Your children might get lost but their little ones might be saved. I have to deal with a prodigal son still, my narcissistic mother estranged him from us. Blessings your way from Germany! 🙏👰💖

@user-or1ye3iz6d Год назад

*sigh* 😔

@maryscarcelli7569 Год назад

God should never ask us to forgive a mother who hurts you on purpose ! Deliberate cruelty is unforgivable !!

@mariapopovici4467 Год назад

As hard as it is, that is not biblical. Is it difficult? Oh yes, I am going through this with my abusive mother, who is 64 years old and continues to want to manipulate me. I pray for her, but I have distanced myself from her toxcity. I don't think she cares because she has four other children (my sibilngs) who do her bidding. But God's Word says in Matthew 5 that we are to "love our enemies, bless those who curse you and do good to those who hate you and pray for those who persecute you. " Hard hard commandments, the hardest in fact, but we must do it. However, as Kris outlined above, forgiving your mother does not mean condoning or accepting bad behavior, tolerating it. No, that is where distance comes in. Honor from afar and protect yourself. That is what I do. Does it hurt? Oh yes, it does, but Matthew 10 says that your enemies will be members of your own family. I am finding this to be true. People only change if they allow themselves to be broken by God. But Jesus does not force anyone, which is why Judas, one of disciples, betrayed Jesus. PRIDE is at the root of a toxic person. PRIDE...and the Bible says that pride goes before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall. "God is not mocked, what a man sows, so shall he reap" - Galatians 6.

@LayalKhayal 5 дней назад

But there's disaster, I answered her in a disrespectful way. Please, God, forgive me 😢😢😢😢

@BrandonHm-ko3nl 2 месяца назад

What do u do if you get stole from and have been poisoned 🤢 but still don't know how to get away from her

@SimpleQuietLife 11 месяцев назад

Does this apply to a toxic father as well?

@andreapantel3085 11 месяцев назад

How about a toxic son??

@Corinna_Schuett_GER Год назад

I do agree in general about the concept before God. But I don't agree about the personal confrontation as the toxic mother CANNOT understand nor acknowledge the whole setting and purpose anyway. She will remain toxic and won't get saved by this enterprise. To me this seems rather to be kind of a "religious ritual" in order to "keep the commandment" by the letter but not in the Spirit. We know what the apostle Paul said about that. (2Cor3:6) I personally cannot even speak with my mother on the phone as her voice triggers too many emotions inside of me and I have to avoid that temptation. As for her constant and notorious lying, denial and gaslighting, it is currently better to get some written information as I am fighting for my due share of my fathers legacy. Otherwise, I have gone no contact for years already but she takes the opportunity to hoover me in once again and I will have to stay in control about that too. I was confronted to her in court in person and this was not quite a moment of "honouring" as she again behaved mocking and demeaning. It may be a good idea for some of us but not an advice for everybody.

@ducklord1021 11 месяцев назад

Man if i had a dollar for everytime my mother weaponized that commandment i could buy an oculus 5 times

@charmingly331 Год назад

My experience as a child & adult, my mother was/ is chronically abusive & toxic. Thank you for this video

@theodoratheo3028 Год назад

How someone can honor their mother or father if they are abusing physically the child? Or even sexual abuse? How this can be forgiven or to honor this kind of parents?

@Corinna_Schuett_GER Год назад

No forgiveness without repentance. These people won't repent so their guilt remains. All you can do is "not charging" their sins that's already the highest level (Acts 7:60). Otherwise, you're authorized to "bind" their sins in Gods judgement court too. (Matthew 18:18)

@mariapopovici4467 Год назад

@@Corinna_Schuett_GER This is true. In the Bible, only one of the criminals on the cross saw his sin, admitted it and asked Jesus to remember him...the other criminal mocked Jesus. And Jesus only turned to the criminal who repented and promised him that he would be in paradise. Repentance is the key to forgiveness.

@LALady1 Год назад

How about when God says to submit under unruly authority or to stay with a husband unsaved? I’ve been at jobs I was really mistreated and God wouldn’t release me from it.. I’m sure he many woman submit to verbally abusing husbands. I think there something that says to win them over by your behavior..

@Corinna_Schuett_GER Год назад

You won't win them over. If it is a marriage Jesus Christ will protect you. He can also act like with Abigail and kill the fool. If it is at work you're free to walk away and find another place.