How To Keep The Conversation Flowing With Your Ex 

Exactly the same situation I’m in! We can text back and forth as long as it’s light, but anytime I bring up something emotional, he stonewalls. I literally don’t recognize him anymore. Why would you abruptly walk away from someone via text and not give them the respect or consideration to talk it out face to face? I’m so curious to know what he’s thinking right now. I figured I should ask him if there’s a chance we could talk things out and it’s been hours of silence. I suppose that’s my answer. No one deserves this. I never would’ve put up with this behavior from anyone in the past, and I think I’m stuck because I just can’t understand the overnight switch up. He took 3 steps towards me, then all of a sudden took 5 steps back then pulled the cord out of nowhere. He even asked to talk a couple months ago but then kept canceling or just ghosting. We’ve all been hurt in the past, cheated on etc. why men hold onto it so heavily is beyond me. I did therapy for my last break up. I’m in therapy again now, initially it was to better communicate with him and to help to set boundaries in general. Now I’m trying to detach from someone unwilling to have a simple conversation. What kills me is I tried to walk away multiple times in the past year and he kept pulling me back. It’s freaking crazy. Now that I want to save it, he gets to stonewall me? Don’t I get at least one reconciliation on my terms??? He got 3!

This is one of the most useful video I have ever seen in my life. Thank you Alexis.

How long should no contact go? I've done about 5 days, then a week and he said he's happy for me to message him, but its very controlled on the topics I can bring up. Nothing with emotional depth - all just our general banter and jokes but there's no space for anything to acknowledge the break up. It's (to me as a fearful avoidant) weird, because if theres not emotional acknowledgement depth or space, I don't see sharing memes back and forth as effective to moving on or away (if thats what ends up needing to happen. Wondering if I should do not contact for longer and how it might be received if I just block them. To be clear, he's messaged he's 'happy' for me to vent if I need (I don't want to anymore) but is still needing his space or emotional distance. I'm trying to find a way to move along from the anger, hurt and disappointment as we've talked about this pattern before and he said he thinks we can talk things through as adults. He is very aware of how the 'wall' when it comes up and he wants to hide when addressing issues hurts/triggers an emotional abandonment/neglect wound: just acknowledges he's emotionally stunted and communication is he's achilles heel (his words, NOT mine). Says sorry and all the right words but fails to try any actions or even talking in any other mode except text, which he can control; but cannot seem to envisage plans to action anything to do something to address it. I personally have committed to regular group therapy weekly for myself since the break up 5 weeks ago. It's very hard, I know he's scared and wounded but, as you said, I need someone reliable, caring who's going to meet me halfway

So what if we live together, can’t break the lease, or afford another place for the next 5 months?

Super helpful, thank you Alexis!!

3yr relationship break up 8 weeks ago she wanted to keep in contact she asked to go to lunch an pick her up had good communication wants to do it again but when dropping her home was a little avoidant kissed and left should i go no contact and wait for her to reach out i dont want to seem to anxious

This sounds to me like a reverse psychology,in order to get them back....