How To Know If You're Ready To Move In Together 

I love the idea of "we'll try it out, if it doesn't work, that's okay and we can change the situation." My main fear of moving in, is if it doesn't work, that means breakup. But it doesn't have to be so traditional.

In my opinion, if you are already spending everyday together, it's basically the same thing.

I think if you believe in marriage than what's the point of living together before marriage? If you do everything a married couple does than I just consider you married. You talk about love being a choice. I don't think there's anything about living with someone that would change whether or not I wanted to marry them. Marriage isn't about whether or not you can cope in the same living quarters. To me it feels like being taken for a test run. It's like "can you act like my wife without me having to actually commit to you as one, so I can just trial a marriage with you before I decide?" To me it's pretty disrespectful if marriage is something you believe in. There are plenty of experiences in life that teach you how to live with someone. Heck even growing up with siblings is one. I didn't choose my brother. But I had to live with him for 15 years. I had to choose to get along and work together and live in close quarters. I also had to live with housemates during uni, another practice at living with people. I think there are plenty of ways to test ur relationship for marriage without having to pretend to be married. Like travelling together. I'd be really interested to hear your thoughts on this Matthew as I'm such a big fan and usually agree with all ur logic haha. This time however I find myself thinking about it from a different perspective. If there are things about living with someone that are good tests for a long term relationship, like problem solving as a couple for example, is living together the only way to test them? Because I don't think I believe it is. Of course all this only applies to a couple that believes in marriage. To me marriage is a lot more than my ability to exist in the same house as another person. As someone who believes in marriage, I don't like the idea of a man expecting me to act like his wife without him actually committing to me on that level. Thoughts? xx

I stay with my boyfriend weekends and it’s been 2 years he has wanted me to move in after 6 months but I’m not willing to give up my freedom for being a live in lover for a man I’m not married to. We r 60 and he was married for 11 years but after that had 2 live in girlfriends, I just see him wanted to repeat that life style it’s just not for me... coming from a 35 year marriage myself I’m not giving any man 24/7 access to me who is not my husband... I have my own money yes we could save more together but as a live in l just don’t see the commitment in it for me losing my house while he keeps his place and changes nothing. So if we can’t buy a place that’s neither his or mind I’m keeping my house and life style.

I actually agree with Matthew. I think giving a try for three months is way of seeing it is worth going on for more. Plus if the guy ends up to be more trouble to live with. Like a total slob than I know its not right for me.

i moved in with my (now) husband after 2 months. why it worked out: at the time he was sharing a flat with 3 other people. 2 months after we got together one of them was moving out and he just asked me if i wanted to move in. we still had seperate rooms and 2 other people to talk to / spend time with - so we still focused on other things outside of our relationship even if we stayed at home all day long. plus if an apartment is not labeled "OUR FIRST LOVENEST" it takes off a lot of pressure.

My year anniversary with my boyfriend is coming up and we’re already living together. He moved in to my apt a few months ago. It’s already changing our relationship. We fight over the smallest things now. Also the economic structure I find myself on, I really needed (need) a roommate to help me pay all the bills. I feel like we rushed into it.

Although you'd think it makes more sense to move in with someone before getting married, I read somewhere that divorce rates are higher for people who lived together before getting married, than people who waited till they got married to move in together. Wonder why that is?

Moving in together is not a casual thing unless you have always had a roommate or don't mind moving out if it "casually" doesnt work out. If you are used to having your own space and treasure you're home as a place of peace or your sanctuary, you gotta know this: what are their habits? how well do you communicate and how financially reponsible are they? Before taking that step have a good idea of where they stand in these areas.

If the guy really like the girl he’s not gonna freak out when things start getting serious fast he’s gonna love it..

A person is ready or they are not. black and white, isn’t it? It’s a yes or no. Ready or not, if I love you then we will get through everything we need to, we will use every resource to have a healthy, loving relationship. It will always be challenging. Whether you are prepared for those challenges or not, is not the proper question. No one is ever “ready”…. to love someone. It’s a daily choice and yes, many days might be disappointing. Accept them as they are and grow together.

1:06

I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE on the 'how are you'-question hehe

I like that, not waiting till marriage to move in because everything in that setting of moving in gets fast forward. I dig that.

yet another insightful episode! I love the point about taking the whole moving in together casually, keep it up matt!

I like the way that you've bilding the advise up to the specific situation and making it affordable for every one at the same time.

That's kind of hard when there are kids involved! Casually moving in together with kids are far more different when both are single.

Thank you ☺️ I was fr fr freaking out but a trial run sounds calming

Being sort of flirtish is like inherent in him..

I legit needed to hear this. I’m putting way too much pressure on us moving in. A few days ago o thought to myself “why do we HAVE to move in?” I have my first studio that I LOVE, but it’s only big enough for one. I was afraid to leave my place and living together doesn’t work out, and I lose this magical place. I’ve decided to take the pressure of both of us, and offer up a living for three months solution (while I keep my current place). I feel so much better about this decision- I know he’ll be thrilled about it too. Calculated risk