A great actress i Denmark once said: Walk into a room, thinking about a random secret you have or find one up, to make your mind calm and make you seem as if you’re a bit mysterious. It’ll make you way more interesting, for those who watch u. And it makes wonders!!
I actually find in particular - because there is one friend of mine who I feel walks purposeful (because I've studied her a little bit) and it's not so much her walk it's because she has good posture her walk comes naturally. Her back is always straight, she never slumps and holds herself well. I wouldn't say she's charismatic, she's more of an introvert but she's got good social skills, she's her own boss in the job she does so she would need this to be successful as she is and it's just her good graces make her look like she's somebody in charge. I don't feel she's like bouncing full of confidence, it's more of a quiet confidence within herself that she's comfortable with who she is and because of that I feel comfortable around her. She doesn't have to be loud or make her presence known but over time of knowing her she does open and chat more and is interested in getting to know me.
Hey YOU, incredible person reading this...The truth is you are confident and good enough already with who you are, where you are at and what you have right now to have the success you want in life. Don't let others define what “success” is for you. Get up, learn that skill and go after it! I believe in you so much! Have an awesome day! - Love, Nat ❤️
This was great Van… much appreciated. I can definitely relate to scanning the room upon arrival. I personally don’t run in circles. Meaning, at events I don’t go to and stick with that “one” circle of people. I can go up to strangers and make them feel comfortable. However, prior to that, as I walk up to them… total stranger. I am looking for a conversation piece…(an accessory, nice shoes or outfit). Then I spark it up… very important that flirting and setting vibes are distinguished, lol. Like making an entrance greeting someone and telling them how sexy their top or tight pants look….no no. In and out method. Say your hello’s, small but tasteful compliments and you keep it pushing. I also intertwine what I learn from your videos. Keep improving lives😜
LOVE This and so helpful ❤️ What about a video on dealing with unreceptive and negative cues received by people when you try to be open? Love all that your doing and thanks so much.
Yes! A video on this is direly needed. Not just dealing with unreceptive or negative cues..but how to stand out and make your presence known, especially if you're used to being diminutive, petite, smaller in stature
@@kirtanashanchez6534 I have a great video on how to be indispensable, appreciated and respected by everyone in your life here: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-7ZnaUW12Ypg.html hope this helps! 🙂
Your videos give me so much confidence. After watching this, I feel like I could go into any job interview without preparation and still get a job offer often enough that I wouldn't need to ever worry about unemployment. I wish that people would run an experiment, where 1 person would go though a bunch of interviews without preparing, and then see how many job offers he would get, whereas a control group would go through modern interview preparation training and use the training and see how many job offers that they would get. Even just watching you in this video makes me comfortable with hiring you [disclaimer: I have never interviewed or hired anybody].
My friends name is Sarah! She’s literally the kindest, and most social person I’ve meet. Hanging out with her is what has pushed me to be more social and watch videos like this, so hearing her name shocked me lol
I love watching your videos! I’ve learned so much from them! I wonder if you could do a video on how to converse with people after being in a funk for a long time? So many conversations center around what we’re doing, where we’re going, what’s new and what’s happening in our lives. I struggle with this because if I’m honest, I’ve been depressed for a long time and I haven’t done anything new and exciting or anything worth talking about for quite a while so I don’t know how to connect with others without bringing the mood down. I’ve tried doing things like learning a few new skills but it still doesn’t seem like enough. I’m not one of these “young professionals” who leads a full, busy life but I hope to one day be there now that my depression has lifted a bit. I just don’t know how to get from this wreckage of a life to one I’m proud of. Please help 🙏🙏🙏
For years I have been unaware that I’ve been doing these type of things(I’m a Virgo so physical appearance and first impressions are very important to me), my goal is to be able to last at least 2 hrs at a event without getting exhausted by everyone’s energy 😪
Hi Claudia, if you’ve been doing everything in the video. That’s good. Many have to work at it. You are fortunate. what do you mean everyone’s energy exhausts you? If you are socializing then you are working off everyone else’s energy, as a well. Remember, like attracts like. But, if your getting exhausted for being there, then don’t frequent as much. Take some time off to reboot. Hope this helped. Keep smiling!!!
This video just reminds me that I am an introvert deep inside. 😊 I was getting anxiety just watching what I should be doing when I am around people. I immediately thought that's doing too much and I would be faking it. However, I would like to work on my social skills, maybe one step at a time. 🥴 I would like to thank u so much for various videos u have available on here. It helps me see things more clearer and encourages me to become a better me. ❤️🙏🏼
Oh my gosh. I have been LOVING your videos. Just what an awkward adult like myself has been needing all my life!;) Do you offer any courses/boot camps/challenges?
Really enjoyed this, I love youso much Vanessa, you're helping alooooot with your videos and I love your sparkling and humorous personality, keep going! 🙏🏼❤✨
In my experience I used to have all these points you suggest naturally but then I moved to the US and I started to get anxious for years and it got really hard to socialize, specially when coworkers are totally closed to talk or to socialize. In my culture and in my natureI am like that but it flipped over. I don’t see coworkers accepting my willing to talk or to hear my hellos and my phrases of being nice. Kinda hard in here.
@@kirtanashanchez6534 all I can say It could be by changing something inside us, the vibe!! I’m doing my best now even though I don’t feel like seeing most of the humans around, most of family members and friends. Regulating our system. Takes work. Some people might have to change their perspectives about the world they see.
I loved your content for such a long time bc you give >specific< advice unlike so many other “experts” with their vague content these days. Your advice is truly invaluable. That’s all. Just wanted to show my appreciation :) thank you
Thanks Vanessa, I'll make sure I know my purpose the next time I walk into a room. I wear a black fitted suit and that makes up 90% of my charisma. I enjoyed "Captivate" and I am looking forward to reading "Cues". : )
So I've been watching all of your videos about job interviews, what to do and not to. The thing is, all of my interviews have been online (most jobs are only offering remote work, especially for my line of work), so my question is: how do you ace an online job interview (considering your the content you've made on zoom fatigue)? Since you don't have the full body language trump card that you would ordinarily.
Hello, again… I forgot to ask. I will be going on an interview for a lateral position. How do you suggest I make my entrance. I can pretty much sell myself. But, that “wow” factor or setting the bar can come in handy. Or a sentence/ phrase I can use. Hello’s with compliments? Please advise. By the way, received my book this weekend… loving it.
Hey, can you do a video about how to have confidence when you do not fit the physical norm? Like what if a person is cross eyed but have to make eye contact and be confident.
@@ScienceOfPeoplethanks that video would really be helpful. Because not everyone fits the normal status. What about the not so normal? We already have a unique attribute. So how to be confident when people come upon us and they are immediately judgemental about an appearance they cannot control.
Hey Vanessa, Really helpful video I had a suggestion, please try another recording setup. We would love to see a change, nothing wrong with this though. thanks
When you are the person receiving the greeting and you are prone to those one word answers, how do you teach yourself not to do that through context cues? Actually, I have another question. I have been going to some meetings and actually the last I went to, I noticed something you had said in one of your videos. Before, my preacher would come into the room, sit at the end of the table and be able to see everyone coming into the room. Last time, one of the committee members, who I’m definitely sure had an agenda, sat in the end chair/seat and was able to watch everyone come in. I just noticed where everyone sat, and what you had said in which ever video it was. If the gentleman hadn’t had an agenda, I was wondering if he would’ve sat in one of the side seats where he had before. Also, I wonder, since the gentleman had sat in the end seat that the preacher had sat in before, if the preacher just found an available seat closest to the door, and at the end of the table. We actually moved another table in to the preacher’s end, so he could use his computer, and I guess it was closest to the wall outlet. He also had tons of papers for us to be distributed and gone through.
Great questions! To avoid giving one-word answers, it’s important to practice expanding on your responses. Context cues can be a great help in this. For example, if someone asks, “Do you like coffee?” instead of just saying “Yes,” you could say, “Yes, I love coffee. I usually have a cup every morning to start my day. How about you?” This not only gives a more detailed answer but also opens up the conversation for the other person to share. As for your observation in the meeting, it’s interesting how seating positions can reflect or influence dynamics within a group. If the committee member who sat at the end of the table usually sits on the side, his choice to change seats could indeed indicate a desire to exert more control or influence over the meeting. However, it’s also possible that there were other factors at play, such as the need for proximity to a power outlet or additional table space. The preacher’s choice of seat could also have been influenced by similar practical considerations. It’s always fascinating to observe these dynamics, and being aware of them can certainly help in understanding and navigating social situations!
Dressed as Loyld from dumb & dumber wearing my polyester tangerine tuxedo & complimentary walking cane same color too with basic bowl hair cut acting like a total fool 😉 😉 OH YEAH👍! Thanks Vanessa for the life advice.
do you ever go over books? I managed to write a book and I need help.I published it on Amazon and everything. I am a new author who is writing fiction. Do people still read in this day an age? I managed to start creating stuff for the franchise I am working on.
Will you be doing research on the impact of Covid on personal interactions? People are now more reluctant to high five, shake hands etc. Also as so many people have worked from home for so many months, how had this impacted social skills and personal confidence?
Sending love. ❤ Here are some of our blog posts you might find helpful! www.scienceofpeople.com/how-to-be-more-confident-2/ www.scienceofpeople.com/self-esteem/ www.scienceofpeople.com/stop-comparing-yourself/
I appreciate this, but I still feel like I need a personal life coach or, buddy to hold me accountable, a professional, not someone who I go to church with or have coffee with.
