I’m going on 2 weeks NC. The better I think I am the more moments I have of intense sadness. On one hand I wish she would come back but on the other I want her to stay away so when I’m over this I never have to experience it again. This is just a crazy lane I am in smh.
Move forward don’t go backwards!!! She will leave you again! If anyone can do it ONCE they will fold again trust me I know this guy left me x2 and would keep coming back it ends with YOU! They come back IF you let them but they don’t care about you!
@@veebliss1266 I have no choice and you are absolutely correct. It’s not about moving forward because I under that it is vitally necessary, it’s just hard to let go but it’s getting easier.
Guys don’t waste you time really I felt like the rest of you once someone cheated on you they will do it again and again let them go they belong to the streets
You're right, I broke up with him last week, we been dating 12 years, I found out he cheating on me with his ex girlfriend for the entire time we've dating.. I forgive him once already, he beg me to forgive him and he promised me that he won't do it again, I forgive him, then I found out that they still seeing each other, they never stopped, she's also a married woman, I have to let him go and go on no contact.. I forgive him and move on but I never forget.. I hope he'll leave me alone.. I don't want to look back.. once a cheater always a cheater.. I experience it myself.
If they leave , let them go find BETTER anyone but me 😂 they won’t and will come back !!’ They go for low hanging fruit so let them find out the hard way . Never go backwards !!!! Stay forward let them leave and stay gone! They will leave you again people !! If they can do it once they will keep doing it!!!! They broke your boundary!
Honestly! All these teachings are valid & they sometimes serve the purpose of creating false hope so you can deal with the breakup better...but when you really...truly.....remove urself from the situation and look at it from an objective point of view. You will always see that You are the one that did the most forcing and holding & doing the most for the relationship....which means..you been delusional & you been in your feelings too much & its time you wake up & realise...WHOEVER is FOR YOU....WOULD LOVE YOU. WOULD CHOOSE YOU. WOULD STAY. NO MATTER WHAT....EVERYDAY THEY'D CHOOSE YOU they'd probably cuss you out for being a lil crazy & obnoxious but IF THEY TRULY LOVED YOU THEY MUST HAVE ALSO LOVED THE CRAZY AND ABNOXIOUS SIDE OF YOU. So where are they going? Love me in all my shades & shapes & forms if not Fck off & make room for someone who will. Do not play these games to win over someone who dont even recognise what they have lost. Move on in ur shatteredness. They hurt you they didnt kill you..lets not give them too much power now. 🙏🏽
So after a six week nasty break up, we got back together trying to work it out for two weeks and in the third week I realize I don’t want him and I had fell out of love during the six week break up!
It has been nearly two weeks of nc. It is his face that comes to my mind every morning and night. I gained some weight. I don't feel energetic. I'm going to the gym. But I'm overeating and has become a couch potato. Your words were an eye opener for me. I will try to better myself. Every day I'm hoping that he would come back. But this is depressing. I don't know if I m losing him. This is actually eating me.
After 5years and he left me , Three months ago and I have been chasing him, i am 1week NC, when i remember somethings i wonder how a human can hurt someone this way ,but i will be strong thank you.
My girlfriend left me and blocked me everywhere like a week ago and I do feel down and miss her tons but I know that I have a lot to work on. A part of me waits for her to break the NC but I hope she doesn’t and I started focusing alot on myself. I started working out again, getting back to studies to finish my masters and even though I’m sad and low, I just gotta make the best of it. No expectations and just move on. I think the worst part for me is losing someone close who I had alot of fun with and it feels like she’s happier without me and that makes me wonder sometimes if I’m really that bad? I always try to do the right thing. I’m respectful, not jealous nor controlling. But yeah it is what it is. Life goes on
@JonEffects I’m glad for you. Hope and wish you nothing but happiness. As much as I want her back I don’t think it’s a solution for myself right now. I think that this separation is good and healthy. Sad and lonely, sure..but it’s healthy at the end of the day.
He the GOAT. My ex came back after 3 weeks NC. She literally said “that was good time for me to think about us” now we back on. But I’m taking it slow I’m not doing the things I was doing before I’m still focus on me and my business.
Karol- did not impact anything because At the end of the day. I still have that I don’t care attitude. Because what happens in the dark will come to light. I’ll leave if I have to and go on with my life. That’s why I’m taking it slow and still working on me. I let her come to me now I don’t hit her up or blow her phone up or anything. Plus a women is always going to test u so I just let it go over my head because I don’t care and that’s the mentality a lot men lack out here because they care to much about the female. Dudes have to stop being emotional once u figure that out your whole mindset will change.
Thanks for the efforts you make to make others life easier and better. Might do a lot of difference in others lives. Listening to your videos have got me thinking as I have been mistreated and betrayed by my ex. Going through lot of pain. I get some motivation by listening to your videos
Thank you! I totally agree when you feel better about yourself your beautiful, confident & unstoppable.. Now you have options too who you want to allow in your life.
Thanks for being there for me during this breakup,I feel so good now.finally starting to feel happy again with myself.thanks coach blac,,,peace !!!!!!!!
If they call, always make it seem like your too busy to talk. Hang up before they even say bye, and don’t call back. This will make them think you got someone else and don’t care what they have to say. One word answers too, don’t ask her how she’s doing or how her family is. Answer her questions with yes or no, cool story bro but I gotta goooo 😂. After a while they’ll give up and they’ll realize that you’re gone and not chasing them. Have fun with your new man bye. Must be sooo entertaining that’s why your calling me lol.
So, just keep no contact? This method requires intense patience, and doesn't give much control over the situation entirely. Are there any other options?
Sorry, but Im going to have to disagree with you on this. DONT EVER CHANGE YOUR IDENITY FOR SOMEONE! You may need take a look at your actions, but dont change who you are to get someone back. Also, maybe thats the problem...you were changing your idenity to make them happy. We all need improvement, but dont ass kiss and change you who are.
The no contact rule is so hard when yall have a child together. I try to only communicate when it involves my child. He always brings up something about the relationship. I dont get it because he is the one that broke up with me.
Just want to listen even if I know we ain't coming back because he's dating someone else now. I pray a better person come my way this time cause am ready to date and have worked really on myself.
I want to say thank you because this is so true!!! When I started realizing that it's ok if people don't see my worth my belief is still what I deserve!!! But the moment I start saying i don't deserve and just accept how he treated me i have given the authority for him to continue to not do right and never change!!! Well i know my worth and yes he has started to come back around but I'm not the same woman he left!!! And he is so different because people see you how you see yourself
when im in no contact should i wish to her birthday and what if she wishes me on my birthday ?? and what if she wish me in new year what should i do?? Coach !? Guys!? Help me
It’s been two months since he broke up w me. Yesterday I watched his ig story for the first time. Nothing important, but idk. I still want him back though I expected him to reach out yk me within this time
She broke it off and I immediately went into NC and did not chase. I said everything regarding how I felt and wanted to work on the relationship during the break up. So far this is going on week 4. This has been the toughest week thus far!!! I’m struggling
Hey coach, I done the nc and it worked but then I folded to easy without him making any commitment. Now he calls me once in a blue moon and is dating others on a regular. What should I do to gain back his scarcity I feel like he now knows I am waiting for him and therefore is not in a urge to get back. Will it help if I block his number?
I am very thankful for these messages of advice and wisdom. They are putting a bit of a fire under my belly and that’s exactly what I need. While I can bemoan the way my ex-gf cheated on me and the way the relationship ended, I must focus on those points where I need to improve myself and become more attractive, responsible and focused. And thankfully, I am making those steps right now. The catch, of course, is that I probably won’t care if my ex comes back (she is now starting to poke her head back into my sphere), because I have the freedom to walk away and choose someone better. If she wants me back, she had better learn to work on her problems as well. And she had better come up with one hell of an apology for bruising my heart the way she did. Much thanks for everything. I feel myself growing a lot over the past 2-3 years and the future is starting to look bright. (Now if only I wasn’t too shy to speak to that cute girl at the coffee shop on Saturday…d’oh!)
Thank you for your videos. I have listened to many relationship coaches and your videos are definitely up there in making me feel at peace and they alleviate my anxiety every single day. My partner left me 3mo ago after being inseparable for 7yrs! She ended up falling out of love with me because I pushed her away with my extreme neediness, insecurities and losing myself to her. My world shattered and continues to shatter every day because I have very good memories of her and I know she dsnt have as many great ones of me. It's been a very hard pill to swallow and lesson to learn. I haven't dared contact her especially after claiming to kill myself after she first left and found someone else I found out. 😳🤦♀️🤷♀️ She worshipped the ground I walked on in the first few years when I had my own life and put many things before her after all of that changed so did she. What I would do to be able to go back and redo so many things. 🙏🏻. It makes me sick just thinking about having to find someone new. I wish I could have looked back on things and knew that I put my best foot forward and it's her loss but in reality I ruined things completely.
I finally stopped reaching out she has been watching my stories but just recently liked my picture but I kept my cool I think she was mad about another post on being single
Ha, I lost weight during the relationship.. one of things he said at the end when we were still in contact is maybe I’m to fit for him and he’s attracted to overweight women. BS. He met me around the weight I am now, and I still have hips butt and thighs. Just him trying to justify his fear of commitment and his own low self esteem. If he comes back he has a lot of splaining’ to do. Trust is gone. He wouldn’t even meet or call to talk about issues even though a month before when I tried to end it he asked to talk the next day.. he kept putting it off though. Cowardly behavior is not it. When he decided to walk and I asked if we could talk I got no response..no contact implemented since then. On day 23 now. Not holding my breath, boy needs to turn into a man
Me and my ex deleted our social media while we were in a relationship, after she broke up with me almost 2 months ago, she installed her instagram and than she deleted it because i deleted it, and she has been installing and deleting after one day since 3 weeks, what does this mind game mean?
@@lentinikhalsa1 I won't bro we're done for good there's no turning back... they're too many fishes in the see 😌 i now see the breakup as a blessing for me to find someone who will treat me better
I've been in very limited contact coach. My ex stepped out and I've been taking the necessary steps to give her back all the things I've been paying for, for her over the years. She's acting like she can't pay her car insurance. Should I care? Or should I just drop her coverage?
I have a kid with my ex so we have to communicate but I try to only keep it about our son sometimes we talk and other she goes right back to the way she was after she left me what do I do?
I did the non contact not on purpose the first three months then we had an encounter. Two days later I see him with someone else he didn’t even acknowledge me 😮. Third months go by we talked looks light there’s light at the tunnel. Not sure what’s now I’m redoing the NC. I’m sure what I who I want but he isn’t. I’ll see what happens from here.🙏🏾 I do want to be a better e for me. Thanks for the steps
My ex is in a second rebound it's been 4 months,we would still communicate for work , I ran into her 2nd rebound 4 times she was with him 2 of the times. I was open to being friends but I'm starting to not care & that could be permanent,smh
Please pray for me and my relationship I left my boyfriend because he does not give me the love and care I need now I ignore him. They say if you love someone set them free if they come back it was meant to be 😢😢😭💔😭😭 Its day 3 and he is looking for excuses to see me after I told him I don't want to see him I need more? What do I do
Im on day 70s N.C and honestly im starting NOT to miss em, ive got so much good going on,and a man is the easiest thing to get, his loss he cost me too much $$$$ anyways. T.y. for all your help.
Love it... but.. how to do no contact while she's still in the same apartment until she finds a place of her own? This is literally the real life version of Dante's hell. And she's like - i would prefer if we slept in the same bed because i have trouble sleeping when i'm alone. She's the dumper I am the dumpee. She had caused so much hurt and trauma with her behaviors in the past 3 months that I find it difficult to act strong.
Changing your identity is not a spring but a marathon. Odds are your ex is in a rebound or something more serious. If you spend the time working and changing yourself and that relationship ends (which is likely but how long is uncertain), when you reach back out, it will be even harder for her to resist. The question will arise during this process though, as you work on yourself and she's moving on, you might not desire her as strongly because the attachment as evaporated. This is really a win/win because you'll be a better man for the next woman and she'll either try to reach out or breadcrumb you or stays with that guy and lives happily ever after (highly unlikely). Stay strong, one day at a time.
Coach I have a question,he told me he needed space to work on himself,he suddenly went cold,and left,I went into no contact,and it been 4weeks already,he messaged me last week and quickly deleted the message before I could open it,why did he do that????
I got the I need to fix myself breakup reason. Out of the blue, no discussion, just dipped. He does delivery part time and told me 2 weeks later he was in my building and in my neighborhood during that same week. Irritating, why take a delivery in my building!? If I walked away from someone I’d not orbit their neighborhood or home. Messed up thing is he works near my gym, and because of his side job can be literally anywhere at any time. Thankfully I work from home but I have an office that’s near his home. Bk just got a hell of a lot smaller. Sigh.
I been together with my ex for 5 yrs we been broke up for a month talked to my ex here and there she told me she's seein someone else I clearly laughed ended the convo and went straight no contact if that's not motivation or closure I don't know what else is. I'm movin on now 💪
Yea she did started calling like crazyy I started doing my own thing and eventually just winging off her. Once I put in my head all the things we done and she doin wit someone else I'm over it
@@tmoney6508 women r shocking, after 13yrs we broke up, shes been writing a bit, just said shes goin to have sex with a guy thats booking a hotel near her on the first meet from some dating site, says shes been writing to him for a month im done too, hurts to think the woman you love can even just go do that
My ex broke up with me after 5 years and I can't stop thinking about her I don't know what to do I know things weren't perfect but I always thought we could get thru things after all the other things we've been thrue
Im sure this doesn’t work if she’s “dating” someone else… dude is a bum though, and im even better looking lol. We got divorced, and share 3 kids… biggest mistake of her life
Coach I think I’m doing everything right but now that we are hanging out again I’m not sure exactly the right things to do. I want to be chill and not stress or pressure but same time I want to be clear…
I split up six months ago, I’ve put a picture of me being in the new relationship and straight away my ex has seen it accusing me of cheating when I never did it was her that done the cheating
my problem is my gf broken up and i made no contact then 10 days later she called me drunk and told me that she would die for me and knows that she will never have again those feelings 4 a another man and hopes one day god will bring us back together... and now if im writing she is cold again? idk what to do
My man, only consider taking her back if she says she is sure you are the one, and she will put effort into getting you back(in her right mind). Even then, let her in slowly.
