Here’s a summary i made- hope this helps:😊 1. People with high emotional intelligence are more kind, compassionate, understanding & less selfish. 2. Realise everyone projects as what they say is a reflection of them & their life, so don’t take it personal. 3. Give people ie family the benefit of the doubt as parents act on the way they were raised/their experiences. They usually have our best interests at heart to protect us. 4. Take a pause & act in the best way rather than getting angry at a triggering comment someone says to you. 5. Everyone is trying the best they can in life, so be compassionate. 6. Transfer your thoughts onto paper to clear your mind. 7. Mistakes don’t define you. Own up to your mistakes & learn from them to do better next time. 8. Put gratitude, kindness & love to the world even if you’re not getting back at the moment. 9. If sad, take time to process them but don’t prolong the temporary emotion. Get back up & carry on. 10. Reflect on what’s the best actions you take instead of acting on ego. 11. Question the root of triggers. 12. Identify 3 things you’re grateful for everyday. 13. Don’t speak bad about others. 14. Take responsibility for your actions & don’t base them on how others treat you but how you want to show up in the world.
Sawa therapist today and told them everything, i have alot to work on and i dug a huge hull that im digging out of, it will be a while but i set up therapy and a membership to a gym and aa because i need structure, you will all get mad at this but i cant forget, im sorry i know this about myself and her value , i wont lie, but i will be respectful
@@kyliechristina234 just bcz liz is a queen doesn't mean tam needs to be called something else, They both are Queens in their own way both winning at life
as a girl who has been struggling with healing her traumas and stuff, I really feel proud because when you mentioned the traits of someone who is mature I was like wow this is so me I'm happy that I could develop my personality.
This made me cry .This made me realise that how rude I was to people.I never wanted to be rude people . But now I am happy that I learned something today . And that from now onwards I will be a better person for myself and others. Thanks a lot This really helped me ❤
I am a brown girl and i was getting insecure for my dark complexion becoz my guy incoherently belittled me but after watching this video i have finally got audacity to come out of something where i was just tolerated and not celebrated ..thanks for such an insightful video ❤🎉
A family member of mine teased me in front of my other relatives saying I'm so skinny and needed to eat better, i got so sad that cried a few drops in front of everyone and ran from there and then I remembered you posted a few hrs ago about emotions so I came to see this to get back up. Honestly, i feel so much better because of you, I'm so grateful you posted this video. So now I'm gonna make coffee 😂❤️
My friends, family, and even strangers constantly comment on how I look like a kid (I'm 21) it used to get to me a lot and it still does but the mindset shift that everyone is projecting their own insecurities really starts to work after some time. I do get upset even now by the comments but it's so much better than before. I just think everyone is jealous of me and my achievements lol and I move on (Ik it sounds delusional but thinking like that helps me lol). Don't let the nasty comments of those nasty people get to you, you are amazing just as you are ❤
@@tanishqtejaas9289exactly!! in the same situation gosh. Like they be doing all types of exercises, will be trying different diets to get skinny and constantly body shame a healthy skinny person
i feel youu.. i'm skinny too and sometimes my mom make offensive remarks towards me in front of everyone saying that i should eat a lot. (if she said them nicely, i probably could tolerate) the thing is, i've already stressed enough with my weight so her remarks just makes things worse
As someone who's been in therapy for a year now and has seen a huge improvement in mental health, I think there are a few things you can't control: 1, your negative thoughts especially if you tend to overthink and two your emotions, and feelings. Nor can you suppress them. My therapist tells me to just learn to be with them, stay with them and live with them and remind myself that they're not dangerous, they're just there and with time... they'll eventually hold less importance and be less intense (and that's true. I'm way better). What I might think may not be reality and what I may feel, it's just a feeling that will eventually go away and I'll only make it worse if I try to control it. Acknowledge it instead. Okay, this is how I feel right now, that's okay. Let's allow myself to feel like this at the moment. Okay, this is what I think right now. But are my thoughts me? No, they're not. Are my thoughts my reality? No, they're not. What you can control though is how you choose to respond to them. As for dealing with others, I just try to remind myself that when they probably say something hurtful or are insensitive or do things that hurt me, it's nothing personal. People project all the time. When they talk to you, they probably have themselves in mind, not you. It's relieving to think that you're the centre of ONLY your world and no one else is really, truly thinking of you that much. It makes it easier to not get hurt or take things personally or not care that much about what others think and say. Btw, I love your channel and videos. It's so motivating! Stay healthy and happy everyone 💛
@@KhloeKyles-lt7un I'm glad it helped even a little bit and I hope you can find someone to talk to and rely on. I was like that. I isolated myself and didn't talk to anyone and that only made things worse. And I had a bit of social anxiety but when you start socializing you realize that the outside world and people aren't that scary... they're just people lol. Hope you stay healthy and happy!
I’ve noticed I’ve always been generally emotionally mature and never realising it, but the people that surrounded me made me doubt myself. I’m grateful to learn now that I was always on the right path 😅
i am trying to get out of my people pleaser phase because I have realized that I have been putting myself down , losing my self respect , I want to be the best in my goals , be happy for whatever I am and also cherish those real people around me ....thank you tam , you are a big sister for all of us
need this SO BAD right now!! Interacting with my batchmates and the way they're so NEGATIVE about everything is so grating ughhh, really wanna know how to master my emotions. Thank you Tam! ♥️✨
THANK YOU FOR POSTING THIS!!! I have been thinking of how to manage my emotions as well as improve my emotional intelligence. You really are a saviour!
Emotional intelligence is very often overlooked! I'm so glad you exist 💓 You're for sure making this world a better place. Always remember that ❤️ Love you, sis!
Girlll yesssss 🔥 As an empath (where are my other fellow empaths out here?!) I have always found this surprisingly hard to do from the emotions pooling into me from outside the world. It definitely takes continual awareness to separate what’s mine and what’s not ❤
Tam, you know in Germany we have a slang saying which means „Ich küss dein Auge“, which means literally as much as „I will kiss your eyes“ yet the actual meaning is to express your gratitude in to someone as an alternative to thanks in an exaggerated or humorous way. Honestly, not even to exaggerate, ich küss dein Auge for these videos because you be droppiń´ gems non-stop and helping us elevate. I always write notes from every video of yours and have already incorporated some. Lieeeebs❤ Your hard work pays off because it’s soo valuable and you’re good at what you do❤
@@ayaelzakzouk2943 ich glaube es ist ursprünglich auch ein Arabisches Sprichwort, jedoch wird es hier in meinen Kreisen häufig benutzt if you know you know😅
We have that in Turkish too as "gözlerinden öperim". the difference is that it's not used for gratitude that much, usually old people use this sentence for childs to show affection and love😌
Love your vid. However, I think it’s important to note that while one does not have to dwell on certain situations, actually feeling your emotions is a big part of emotional intelligence. You may choose what situations are your priorities in the long term, that’s true, but emotions are your body’s natural warning signals. Telling yourself that “you chose to feel that” adds unnecessary guilt. “You chose to focus on that”… well, that’s another story.
I honestly love watching these kinds of videos, and I watch many RU-vidrs who are amazing. But there is no one that I listen as much to as you. YOU ARE SO INSPIRING
Let’s keep growing together! I also have a self improvement channel looking to grow a community of like minded people to support and grow to be our best selves:)
I was literally having a mental breakdown and to distract myself I opened RU-vid and this video popped up I am so happy I saw this video Thanks a lot it really helped me
Let’s keep growing together! I also have a self improvement channel looking to grow a community of like minded people to support and grow to be our best selves:)
11:27 the problem is when the person doesn't want to learn. you are mostly right about "giving the benefit of doubt", but sometimes we can't disagree that people *actually want to harm us on purpose*. there are people who just want to make others's life a living hell, for many reasons that can explain but not justify. my own parents abused me all my life, mentally, physically, and even sexually. i tried to communicate with them with maturity many times, they just don't wanna hear it. even, they're happy to hurt me, they said it many times. "just kill yourself, we would he so relieved if you died"/"you're useless and worthless"/"you're a monster" are some things I'm hearing *everyday*. and believe me, that's just the less shocking, so imagine the rest. also, just as you i never lived a teenagehood, which traumatized me for life. plus the fact that, unlike your grandparents, they didn't do it to protect me, but so I could never experience even a single moment of happiness, they really wanted me to just give up and end my own life. and no I'm not saying this out of ego, i *know* that's their mindset, because they say it clearly. so that's it, i just wanted to share this because I've been triggered a lot by this moment, but I really appreciate all your advices because they're really relevant and useful. plus, i know that in this moment you were talking about something general, and that my situation is very specific. however, i wont let them control my emotions and my wellbeing, i will protect my peace at all costs until I can finally move out and be safer. of course it's not easy when you're traumatized again and again on the daily basis by the people who are supposed to protect and love you, so of course I do have moments of crisis. but i try my best and i will put all my energy in healing the second i don't have to handle them anymore, so I don't become them !
Your comment broke my heart ,May Allah help you in dealing with these crises and get you out of all this soon my sister, Allah Almighty says in the Quran "Allah's help is indeed near" (Quran chapter 2 verse 214)
You are so strong for tolerating toxic undeserving ppl who call themselves parents. Please stay strong and you will get rid of them one day and be free. Keep healing and ignore them haters. They don’t matter
I look so forward to every time you post. I have also watched all your videos at least 2 times each. You’re energy is incredible and I love how enthusiastic you are, when you speak it all sounds so unscripted which just shows how passionate you are! I have really seen such a positive change in my life and mindset ever since I started watching your videos and implementing your advice. and I just wanna say a huge thank you for sharing all your knowledge and experiences, as they are so beneficial to me and I’m sure everyone else who watches your videos💞💞💋
Let’s keep growing together! I also have a self improvement channel looking to grow a community of like minded people to support and grow to be our best selves:)
Let’s keep growing together! I also have a self improvement channel looking to grow a community of like minded people to support and grow to be our best selves:)
7 Questions Who are you in a bad day Stop romanticising your sad self It’s all about discipline Question it until you can answer it The art of silence Daily gratitude Learning the difference
I LOVE YOUR VIDEOS SO MUCH, I SWEAR! I feel like I'm in my "bettering myself era" and you're seriously helping me so much in multiple aspects of my social life! Thank you Tam, truly❤
Let’s keep growing together! I also have a self improvement channel looking to grow a community of like minded people to support and grow to be our best selves:)
Gurl, when ever she says 'Women' I feel soo good I'm literally 13 and just because of Tam I went from insecure af to the girl boys fight over, the girl with straight As, the girl with a nice body and perfect skin all because of Tam. I love you and I'm literally soo gratefully to you. You're like my big sister. I follow all your advice. Thanks to you I have become the girl I used to look up to in awe.LUV YA TAM!!!❤❤❤❤❤THANK YOU SOOO MUCH SISTER
you are always right on time with these videos to what’s on my mind. i struggle a lot with dealing with my emotions, and this is a good reminder that i am of course in control. ❤
Let’s keep growing together! I also have a self improvement channel looking to grow a community of like minded people to support and grow to be our best selves:)
Exactly 3 hours ago I was feeling very emotionally low but after watching this video, I got a lot of relief... learned a lot thank you so much queen ♥️👑 i love youuuu:) it helps a lot .
Let’s keep growing together! I also have a self improvement channel looking to grow a community of like minded people to support and grow to be our best selves:)
LOVE LOVE LOVE YOUR CONTENT! JOURNALING HAS CHANGED ME! SHE WEEKLY REMINDS ME TO BE KIND AND IS AN ALARM TO ME TO NOT BE AN ASSHOLE TO MYSELF OR OTHERS
Let’s keep growing together! I also have a self improvement channel looking to grow a community of like minded people to support and grow to be our best selves:)
I have literally rewatched most of your videos around 5-7 times and everytime I learn so much from u! Thank you for existing Tam!❤ (P.s. I follow you since you uploaded your first video and there's no going back)
Let’s keep growing together! I also have a self improvement channel looking to grow a community of like minded people to support and grow to be our best selves:)
i just want to say that this video helped me a lot. i understand my family, my parents, my friends, and my strangers in a much closer and healthier way. thank you for this
didi, i absolutely love this video. a lot of things were happening in my social circle and i was kind of becoming the outcast in the grade. this really helped me to look into this situation from another perspective, while i had already agreed that those people might have been going through shit in their heart. it is a sign as i take it, that their comments and how they treat me is not related to me in any way, its just the way their lens or thei pov are modelled. tysm di. 😊
Let’s keep growing together! I also have a self improvement channel looking to grow a community of like minded people to support and grow to be our best selves:)
Let’s keep growing together! I also have a self improvement channel looking to grow a community of like minded people to support and grow to be our best selves:)
You're such a ball of just pure energy and development and May you be stay blessed for the work you're doing that can actually lift up not only someone's mood but can give a kick to live life positively again. Grateful for your existence and for your channel. 🤗💞
Wow! Just a quick and little message to tell you Tam how grateful I am to know about your channel. My life is slowly but surely improving; I'm learning so many things and changing for the better everything that needed to be changed for years just by following your content and taking notes and also putting the work for it. Thank you very much!
Let’s keep growing together! I also have a self improvement channel looking to grow a community of like minded people to support and grow to be our best selves:)
Omg my emotional intelligence grewsoo much under 5 months like wow ive been on you're podcasts and now i almost apply to all the emotional intelligence point you said 🎉
Much needed at this time in my self development journey. Tam please make a detailed video on how you use the apple calendar for planning your entire life, thank you in anticipation ❤
Thank you so much for the video. I get hurt pretty easily and always let how other people treat me define me in the moment so it's always hard for me to try and self-soothe and get over it. Usually I end up crying when I am alone and then feel embarrassed when I have to back to them because they might still see the after effects of me crying. It usually takes me the rest of the entire day to get myself over it and during that time I give everyone the silent treatment and clearly look upset. This has happened many MANY times on vacation. I grew up quite a shy kid, I feel I lack the social skills but also I feel comfortable with not talking all the time but I sometimes feel insecure about it because I wonder if my parents/ family find me boring. I'm different with my friends. With my fam however they've seen me at my lowest , when I was depressed and suicidal and I felt like I had come from a dysfunctional family at one point so you can only imagine what my relationship with them was like. Now it's much better , I'm in a much better mindset. I've always wanted to be better at controlling my emotions because I understand feeling hurt is a part of life but I get so hurt by people's wors and actions that I cry or lose all sense of my self esteem that I've built.
Let’s keep growing together! I also have a self improvement channel looking to grow a community of like minded people to support and grow to be our best selves:)
Let’s keep growing together! I also have a self improvement channel looking to grow a community of like minded people to support and grow to be our best selves:)
This video was amazing, so helpful and I am so grateful for founding you a few months ago. You’ve already helped me SO much! You are like a sister we never had ❤️🙏🏼🙏🏼
I will apply everything other than benefit of the doubt with family. My immediate family are actually trying to hurt me. And hold me from leaving. They have seen me physically and meantal break down in front of them and as they stood over me with laughter. And no this is not a metaphor it’s something that actually happend. Every time I suck up my pride and try to get on they’re good side even though it’s not me who should do it I have tried so many times already, but every time I try to give them the benefit of the doubt they take advantage of me. My family is really manipulative. Ik this is the opposite of what I should be doing but I am still hurt about them. Cause I love them I just don’t know why they can’t do it back.
I found your channel in July and completely fell in love with your videos. I've started a journal where I write everything you say, so I can reread your tips and suggestions anytime. I am so thankful for you and your hard work. I feel like you're my secret new best friend, helping me understand my emotions and change into a new healthy and mature person. Finding your channel was a true blessing and it found me just when I needed it the most. Have a beautiful day
Omg just loved this video...cuz I have been overthinking a lot and I am half through high emotional intelligence makes me feel so good...and be the bestest person I could have ever imagined in my life....thnkuuu so much tam I just love your videoss
Hello! I just found your channel today and I am in LOVE. I am fourteen years old and really want to get a step above my peers, but I have been lacking in confidence and discipline, therefore your content has been really motivating for me. Thank you so much!! 😊
Let’s keep growing together! I also have a self improvement channel looking to grow a community of like minded people to support and grow to be our best selves:)
I’ll never be able to pen down how deeply grateful I feel to have access to your videos. It gets so overwhelming in college that listening to you gives me divine comfort, you’re a source of motivation for many. Love you so much. 🤍🤍🤍
This is fucking life changing, I tell u not I've been facing an inner turmoil for the past 4 months and I begged to god to let me let go of all the toxicity and anger I've dealt and keep holding on from my past relationship. Then I see this video today. God is great. Thank you god and universe.
Wow! I love it . Your videos are precise and so organised. This reflects your organised mindset & life. Thank you very much that your videos are not jumbled but arranged so well that we don't have to miss out on anything we're learning from you, which again reflects your selflessness and genuine interest in helping ppl. I love all of your videos. There hasn't been any video that's dull to me but intriguing and inspiring. Looking forward to more videos on self improvement and self concept. Keep going girl! Lots of love
Your videos are like a warm cup of tea on a cold day-they soothe the soul and bring comfort to those who need it. Thank you for being a beacon of light in a sometimes dim world.❤
Wow! This video is amazing and much needed. You always teach me something new and valuable. I just love watching your videos and uplifting my self-worth and confidence. You are awesome Tam, loads of love to u. You are really a gem and came in life as a messenger of God to help me rebuild my better self.❤
Honestly, this video really helped me understand how to get emotionally better. I have had friends tell me that I'm sensitive. And I never liked it, and at some point, I started to question my own emotional intelligence. Sometimes I am wise, sometimes I'm not, but this video really helps me understand 3 things for sure: 1) I am in control of my life. Good or bad things happen cos that's life, it's my reactions and my outlook on life that are in my control. 2) People, friends, and sometimes families can be mean or go against you. But if I'm confident, I can act calmly on what I believe, because my perception of myself and conviction on things takes precedence. And my family loves me and they only look out for me. 3) It's okay if I screw up sometimes, I'm human and not even a monk or a saint, it's okay to lose my cool. So is the case for someone else, if someone loses their cool at me, it's because they are going through something, it's not a reflection of me. Thank you so much Tam. I am so grateful your videos are on RU-vid.
As a person who has had trouble admitting that i have low emotional intelligence, this video really helped me, and added a lot to my process of becoming better, thank you ❤❤
Thank you some much Tam Kaur. I was always told to get tough skin and I'm too sensitive. The video really inspired me and so many things you said really hit home a little lol. Love your vids ❤❤❤
Thank you. You are so young yet you are helping me, and so many others SO MUCH. I do feel silly to be learning this stuff at 38, but I am grateful I get to learn it and can live differently now. I’m sure you help women of all ages all over the world. I see so many people every day that are suffering from never learning the things you teach. I spread what I learn every chance I get. Thank you 🙏
I am letrally loving ur aura and how following u on insta and listning to ur vdos make me feel i never felt for myself ....keep making vdos and uploading those perfect insta stories for us thats refreshing !! We love u wish u the best💟
As a 15 year old....you are such a pretty and smart person and such a inspiration....you helped me a lot sister thank you love you sooooooooooooo muchhhhhhh 💓💓💓💓💓💓💓
I always feel like I’m there for others but no one is there for me. When the thought is triggered, I tend to fall into depressive days before “getting over it”, but I cut everyone off and close off for a few weeks after that. I will try journaling to prevent falling into such a state, cuz when I push myself away from others pretending I need no one anyways, I end up feeling like my relationships restart to zero, and getting even more depressed.
Omfg I feel like this is now my nightly sister therapy ever since I found your channel. Lifting and boosting my morale, and reminding me of the things I need to keep in mind to be the it girl of my life.
