It's very telling how 99.9% of these comments are from women. Women are really stronger than men. Maybe not physically but definitely mentally and emotionally. We are not afraid to process the hurt and pain and heal the right way. We're watching these videos for coaching. We're learning to be better for ourselves. Most men on the other hand, usually have a rebound before the relationship even ends. I am proud of our strength ladies. Stay strong. Be blessed. I made it!
Yep. Just a few days after I asked him to leave he posted on Facebook he's in a new relationship. They're already talking about forever. And love. 😂🤣😂🤣. My son said, momma he's just trying to get back at you. You are better than that. Just forget him.
@@lorifulcher3223 chances are, she was in the picture way before you asked him to leave. I really hope that you can heal from this. You deserve a healthy and happy relationship.
You move on by remembering the disrespectful situation that changed everything folks 📌 even if you have children the same thing applies..not exposing your children to toxic behavior is where you start 👍
Right! I dropped my sons dad like a hot bag of coals and haven’t looked back. One thing about it is when you get tired and fed up, nothing will stop you from moving on
I used to have my ex`s messages screen shots in my phone to stop myself from idealizing him. Because as soon as he said something toxic or behaved toxic and abusive, my mind would delete it from my memory. So I used to screenshot it to remind myself what is really going on. Now I`m single for 5 months and it feels like being myself again. I still have days when I feel like I need him and can`t do it without him. Steadily but slowly this feeling is fading away as I`m doing the work.
Word for word, that’s my story. That feeling of needing him is how he “conditioned” you and made u dependent on him. That makes you a codependent which is unhealthy. He conditioned you, so you need to begin to uncondition yourself and retrain you’re mind. I screenshot all the toxic texts too, bcz like u I forget the horrible shot an hour later. We are committed to the IDEA of a perfect relationship with them. But it’s an UNREALISTIC idea. Best thing u can do is start imagining your perfect guy and what a future with them would feel like. Don’t get into it right away, work on healing yourself and getting that STENCH gone that Tony Gaskins refers to. It’ll help you. Blessings and strength and wisdom on your journey.
I personally prefer blocking. From all social media and my phone. Out of sight, out of mind. Especially bc i know most of my exes love to lurk and bring their bad energy while they’re looking at how good my life is without them. Tony is right, we have to do the work. Reason why most women can’t get over an ex is because we don’t allow ourselves to even try to move on. Great video as usual, Tony. Be blessed.
So true! I’m tired of people saying leave them there so they can lurk on your social media and see you doing good. We should be healing instead of letting them see us doing good.
I love a good blocking and deleting session . Delete phone number delete thread delete pictures delete from social medium delete related relationships then block!
Decided to leave yesterday, 11 years of an abusive and manipulative relationship. Everyone says that for me God is in heaven and my partner in on earth, it seems he is the air that I breathe, but yesterday i said enough, i have to stop putting what bothers me under the rug just for him to get away with it. I am in pain and scared of the following days, months... hope I can be strong and the light inside of me come back.
@@nanaloureiro2868 when u think about your situation keep telling yourself you are strong and i made the best decision for my life.. God bless you sis..keep moving forward...🙏🏿🙏🏿💕💕
Dear Heavenly Father, Right now we come before you thanking you for your daughter Alexus. Father we ask that you give Alexus what you know she needs in this moment. Gather protect her heart and mind and give her strength to seek your face and lean on you moment by moment. Father place people in Alexus's life that genuinely love you and love her. Father protect her heart and mind from voices of depression and thank you for allowing her to ask for prayer. Father remind Alexus of your unconditional love like never before. Lord you know Alexus's beginning, middle, and end, and we ask that you increase her faith in you and that you shine bright in her darkest moments. In your precious son Jesus name we pray, Amen🙏🏽😘🙌🏽
i plead the blood of Jesus over you, be strong,and know that trouble don't last. their are better days ahead. your angels are always watching over you. God bless.
@@LoveAlways1002 Praise our Heavenly Father for this beautiful prayer. It’s good to see people praying for one another and lifting our sisters up in Christ
Yes yes yes this is all so true ! A lot of times people stay in relationships because their scared to be alone or afraid of the unknown . But when you know your worth as a woman and your not afraid to be alone you leave the relationship with confidence and don’t regret it .
I broke up with my boyfriend yesterday... we been together since i was 15 and im 27 now n i feel like i wasted my life going back and forth but for once I feel im completely done and through these videos I will put a stop to it for good.... i feel like shit rn crying but Tony thankyou man. Be blessed, I made it🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
Awe baby you'll make it through. We DO!!!! I broke it off with mine now 3 weeks Sunday,. But am very strong anyway. And the situationship was All WRONG in the first place (7yrs) off and on. I'm glad he's gone and I pray he stays far away from Me??? I'm DONE!!!!!
You will make it beautiful! May OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST BLESS You Abundantly and GIVE You Strength to overcome this break up IN THE MIGHTY NAME OF JESUS CHRIST!!! AMEN!!!!
It takes time to heal. For me it was few years. I cried and replayed how he hurt me and abuse me. I had hatred and sadness. My heart was aching. I didn’t have any coaching but somehow I slowly healed . I mean I read quotes on Instagram to get me through but I believe in my heart it was gods spirit that made me have peace and calmness. Now every time I hear his name or say it I don’t have hatred just tranquillity.
When I left my ex , I prayed to God to help me heal and to some day send me a good Godly man with swag and He sent me you 💗 thank you Tony for being a beautiful example of what a man of true Gods character looks like !
Avoidance is not being delivered from something. Confront your feelings and believe what is truth. Truth does not need any support and it definitely does not change. 👌🏿✌🏾
Them conversations with yourself really hit different you have to be willing to be vulnerable & true to yourself You can’t grow unless you sacrifice Be blessed I made it 🙂
Good for you! God is the answer and will bring you ALL the peace you can imagine 🙏 I promise.. Going through this too and He is honestly making me find the JOY in it all. I pray for you! 💖 You too Mamma! God bless you both beautiful ladies
The best in the world is the feeling of working on yourself without or fewer distractions from a man who no longer your man.. Every time, I think about my ex and all the hurtful things he’s done I have to spiritually cleanse and reset myself
Thats the secret.. take the blame for your part. Its how you level up and attract a better man. Most women blame the guy and never work on themselves. No one is perfect and its hard to point the finger at you. Most men are similar and youll end up same problem and blaming men again. This next man might be a good one but if your broken, you lose.
Thanks for this video, I watched the full video and I must say for myself IT IS TIME TO MOVE ON. No man is worth me having mental breakdowns and on and off depression. I love myself and I choose to love me first! Lord bless this man for using his time to help so many people that are battling in their relationships. 🙏🏾
I made it tony, I was in a relationship for 5 yrs with a grown lil boy and 1 yr after I had the baby he put his hands on me for the last time I broke the lease a hour later and moved out with my 3 kids! I'm working single, back in school, and healing getting closer to God ! And I watch your videos daily! It's like meditation for me hearing your voice and advice !! THANK YOU
So true to screen all your calls & don't answer unknown numbers while healing. Some men will call you from someone else's phone and even create fake "spoof" phone numbers through apps to contact you because you've blocked their main number or you're ignoring them. If you want true peace of mind, you'll have to change your number.
I changed my number. Now the fool wants to email me during quarantine 😜. We broke up in 2014 and I’ve definitely moved on but I had a good laugh with him sending an email to me. Anyone that knows me personally has my number. It also helps not being on social media 😘
What if you’ve been the blocked one by him because you called him a lame and he’s blocked me and he screen his calls no matter what number I call him from he won’t answer it goes straight to voicemails
Hello Tony Gaskins and everyone this is right on time I was doing this earlier this morning about my ex husband who I left last year after catching him cheating we were together twenty years married for ten he came across my mind but I started talking to myself about what happened I was in the middle of my workout I had my gospel music on I just kept praying and thanking God for everything and everytime he crosses my mind I just think back what I was going through in the marriage and asking God to give me strength to get through it Amen.
I had a similar experience my relationship was 26yr marriedfor 19. Also ask God for healing,give you double for trouble and allow you to come out of this situation lacking nothing. When I look back to where I was this time last year I have to praise God.
I watch your videos while working! 10 hour shifts at Amazon!!! Can’t talk to or be close to anyone anyway...and much more beneficial getting in knowledge instead of listening to music!
It's so hard to move on been with this man all these years and was treated like I wasn't nothing how did I allow this to happen this not me and it hurts 💔😢😢😢🙏🙏🙏🙏
Awww Tequita 😘😘 I have asked myself the same question. Over the years I have learned a few things that I am going to share: 1. I did a lot of stuff out of guilt, trying to pay off emotional debts to him that I never owed. (Thinking I was wrong or treated him bad when that was not the case) 2. Looking at my childhood I've learned that I genuinely felt ignored and unloved UNTIL I met him (leaving him meant I would lose someone I believed loved me the most, no matter how much of an asshole he was, I clung to the "love" he showed/i felt) 3. I had a crush on him and had him on a pedestal, so it was very hard for me to see him as somebody who made mistakes and was wrong/I would excuse his behavior and be in denial about so many things. 3. I did not genuinely and unconditionally love myself, trust myself, and believe I was worthy of genuine love (so I convinced myself that what he offered was the best I could do). It has taken me 10 years (walked away from him in 2011🤯🤯) to heal mentally and forgive myself completely. I have spoken to him over the years, although we never had sex again, I have fought emotionally and mentally to understand my behavior and break the mental relationship I was in. IT IS HARD🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣 & POSSIBLE 😘😘😘😘🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽 I just blocked him for the first time in 2021....& I plan on never unblocking and talking to him again. I don't know how long it will take you but don't give up on yourself. You're worth the best version of love 😘 I believe I had to first accept God's love (& I'm always learning how to do that) then learn to love me, and then start to understand what kept me in that situation, to help me stay away. 😘😘😘😘😘 Also: Every golden nugget you get along the way is helpful!!! I have read books, I focused on my relationship with God, started joining various ministries to help youth, volunteered at homeless shelters/food banks, started new activities (sewing, pole dancing, etc), completed workbooks on relationships (Untangling Relationships) ,went to counseling, read articles, read my Bible, talked to friends, and made mistakes by conversing with him thinking I changed and he changed, and I learned from my mistakes too IT ALL HELPS YOU just don't give up 😘😘
Marissa Villarreal So sorry to hear that. Tony discussed that in the video and other things I didn’t mention here. Everyone cannot/will not do what I’m about to suggest. One can create the child a Facebook, IG, etc. account that both parents follow while not following each other. One can message, dm, talk or video through that account everything regarding child business. If the child is of age he/she can manage the accounts. The child could have his/her own phone to use for child business. The parent could get the child a free google number so the parents can communicate. Basically, one could lessen the social media contact and conversation between the parents, but it’s no always practical. No, I’m not a parent. 😊 Blessings.
@@christinewarren8134 3rd wheel but I'm finally over it. Did a lot of crying and trying but I tapped out. Got to love myself more than ANY MAN! son father and all. I understand , both of you are not alone.
I think it's not so much about timing of finding Tony's videos ..its more so about where u at mentally...I think sometimes we have all resources and we still in same positions . These videos help alot but the driving force is us
That's probably the best advise I have heard ever. After so long of not getting over him, my day 70 was the same as day 7, I was still curled up in bed in depression, just taking in what you said I'm already starting to feel slightly better
What also helped me get over my ex is that I prayed for him. I prayed for him so that God would heal him and he would stop pursuing me, because I knew there was no way I was going back to the relationship, but I also needed peace and needed him to stop pursuing me. Praying for him gave me so much peace because he stopped pursing me. I wasn’t praying for him for us to get back together; I needed supernatural intervention because he would not stop pursuing me. Praying for him also made me realize that I was just as broken as he was, and the reason we were together was that our individual brokenness was attracted to each other’s brokenness. Prayer also revealed that I was broken from childhood wounds. This man didn’t break me; we were both broken when we entered the relationship. As I prayed for him, I got free myself.
I pray for my ex too. God is the only ONE who can help him. I truly wish him well and pray God will give him the desire for Himself and draw him closer. Only then will he be healed and be the man God created him to be.
Yes, in addition to prayer, I moved to another state and didn’t let him know. Changed my number and everything. I did not want to be looking over my shoulder, having him pursue me.
Don’t look back, Be Blessed l made it. Its been three months for me, l refused to look back, not being prideful, humbly l say this. As a matter of fact, l’ve grown to just the other day to erase his number out of my phone. Thanks Tony!!!!
Great method! This is very similar to a method in clinical simulation we call”reframing”. Essentially retraining the brain and bringing into focus what is most important . Love it!
Thank you, I needed this! I'm going through this struggle now. I've been divorced 4 yrs, from a toxic,abusive/manipulating 3 yr marriage. We have a 5 yr old daughter together (both our first daughter) so it's hard not to avoid him. He keeps coming at me with the "I'm sorry, I know what I did was wrong and I miss you and still love you..!!!! What is a woman to do?? You right about changing your mindset, I been reading my bible, and other books to help in my healing.
Yeah it's hard I have a five year old son and I know I have to now start thinking about the man he will become if he keep seeing this unhealthy relationship . We put God first sis it will work out 🙏
This is EXACTLY what happened! I read proverbs and prayed and went to bed. The next morning I was watching RU-vid and came upon on your videos! The situation with my ex...It feels like you are speaking directly to me!
Tony, I was able to break 'FREE' completely. I sold my home and moved. No forwarding address or phone number. I never met any of his family or daughter, friends...nothing, so it was easy to cut him loose. It's a good feeling to be free of him. I'm investing in myself and doing me. Thank you for this video.
Man o man I wish I found this page years ago. Better late than never. I know better now. Your videos have helped me so much Tony. Thank you, God bless you.
Dr Frank can make your ex come back to you for a second chance. He was the one who helped me restore back my broken relationship of 3 years by bringing back my ex Also Dr Frank always keep up with his words I strongly Advise you to seek help from him.
Dr Frank can make your ex come back to you for a second chance. He was the one who helped me restore back my broken relationship of 3 years by bringing back my ex Also Dr Frank always keep up with his words I strongly Advise you to seek help from him.
Be blessed, I'm a loner, and always have been one; people tend to think that if you are a certain age and you are alone, then something's wrong with you. Which isn't the case, I'm just not putting up with the BS.
Be blessed, I made it! Thank you Tony. I’ve been binge watching all of your videos right before I got into my first relationship. Turns out he’s a grown boy with a perfect façade. Your videos have helped me to move on in a healthy and peaceful manner. As a 22 year old without a male voice in my life, your videos guide me towards the TRUTH. God is truly working through you and I thank Him as always. Thank you
Thank you The pain is subsiding now since last week. Your videos have really helped me get through this. You have given me strength to just leave him alone since he left 2 weeks ago. I
My mum did it. She moved on. Left my dad as soon as she got a permanent position in her job. Thanks to her determination, I managed to go to university and now she's happy on her own. When I think of some of my friends whose mothers refused to leave, they married any bloke at a very young age to flee their home and ended up having children and divorced soon after. They did it to escape their home and that toxic atmosphere. But they were not equipped to succeed, as they left home without a degree or diploma to secure a good job. One of them ended in a psychiatric hospital. It really broke my heart. Met her daughter many years later. That's too sad. Ladies, please, do not sacrifice your children. This grown boy is not worth it.
Man and when you said talk to yoself!!! Man I was sooo happy cause I found myself doing this and at first I did feel crazy but it helped me deal with the kind of manipulation that was happening to me and to know when it's happening and to react to it rather than go silent for fear of starting an argument or being dramatic.
For me it's been only one year and I loved this man more than anyone else that I have ever loved. But I'm pushing through it because I am definitely seeing that I jumped the gun and fell for some bullshit! My walk away game is strong. It still stings a little and that's something that he will never see. I kinda feel like it has some narcissist tones to it as well.
I listen to your videos all the way to the end. There’s nothing stopping me from absorbing your wise words. God bless you and your family. For me your videos are time well spent. Thank you for doing what you do at no financial cost to me.
You are right about the Soul tie thing it is serious, I never new much about that until the director of the prayer team at my church talked to me about it.
And I thought I was going crazy rehearsing, how to deal with situations to come(based on past ones) I am glad it's OK. It's just like role playing therapy. Thank you so much Mr. Gaskins. May God continue to bless your marriage so that you can continue to bless us.
I've always talked to myself since listening to Tony daily and when something hits (which is from ever single video) my mind instantly goes back to that place and I speak to myself about what I allowed and how my actions played a role in the behavior of past relationships. We can never know enough, and Tony is honestly the big brother we wish we had growing up. Can't get enough of these hour videos! Be encouraged!
Thank you Tony Gaskin and your wife for pouring out the knowledge we as black women never had a father figure sit us down to explain to us what to look out for and here we are life has to end up teaching us. I had to leave a toxic abusive (narcissistic tendencies) marriage (these be people in the church so called pastors, ministers 👀🤡) because it almost took me out last year when blood came out my nose for the 2nd or 3rd time I knew God was sending me the signs. He added zero to my life but hell. And still verbally abusing me through text messaging bc we share a child together. Your videos are life changing and has helped me throughout the separation to divorce. Life isn’t over, it just getting started! Be bless and thank you once again! ❤️
So true when you said we empty the story out on friends...smh...guilty. I think the fear of of insecurities and starting over...especially when you have small children is frightening. Ultimately letting go and choosing to love yourself will prevail.... I am trying to make myself a priority and stick to my guns without feeling guilty
This is EXACTLY what I do! It truly gives me strength to know what i dont have to deal with anymore...and what I dont deal with any longer....and i thank God in the midst for releasing me from it!🙏This REALLY works! THANKS TG
Tony you are so gifted. Thank you for sharing your knowledge with us. I could have saved myself so much pain and heartache if I had this wisdom years ago. Bless you.
Thank you for all your advice I really needed to hear this to day , just found out the man I've been seening & work in the same place, has been sleeping with someone else 😢 I've learnt the hard way saw the signs but still hoping & prayed & tried ,I am a loyal person & care from the Heart ,but now I've gone through enough pain & Disrespect. Trying to heal now & move on ,thank you again 😢😔😠😊🙏🏽
Loved when Tony stated that no one is world has a better relationship than him and his wife! We should all be aspiring for the same. Be blessed..I made it!
Be blessed. I made it! I had to laugh at the part about talking to yourself. I've done this since I was a kid. I would have full blown conversations with myself and you're right, there is healing in doing this because it prepares you for when those scenarios play out in real life.
Hello Mr. Gaskins. You are a jewel to women, one of the things we as women need to realize is this, If we dint sleep with them the pain is not that hard. It's not hard to walk away from a man you are not sleeping with . It's a reason GOD said no sex before marriage, It's an emotional soul tie. I appreciate you and your teaching. We see the warning signs, we ignore them and suffer later. A man knows if he wants you or not. Lady V
Thank you so much for this video I can’t wait to watch this because it’s taking me over 2 years to get over my relationship I was in for 22yrs very toxic very manipulative I can see that now it’s so hard to move on I haven’t met anyone just healing lots of therapy and your videos are a God send Blessing 🙏 thank you
Thanks Tony! Slow healing, but fosho HEALING! My body hurts, my mind hurts, everything hurts, but as the days n weeks go by, its like I'm healing a piece of me at a time n yes, my job got me stressed, but in a way glad I'm busy not to fall in depression. I'm just too grown to be dealing with this, but God is awesome! He's there knowing we made the wrong decision n took the wrong path...I'm slow good, lol! Reparing my body, mind, soul n spirit..thanks 4 another great video n thanks4 sharing personal experiences! Oops, up working at 10:52...state employee, now working from home n enjoying ur videos! It's great to see a strong, black man just being honest n true. I'm trying not to lose faith in my brothers! I love y'all, but some take their sisters 4 granted? Moving on n slow not to miss anything else, LOL! Thanks bubba!
Be blessed I always watch till the end don’t shorten your videos for people that aren’t ready to listen because people like me need to hear ALL OF IT EVERY WORD. You’ve helped me recover drastically from my past relationship way sooner than I expected been with him for 7 yrs and could never completely let go until now GOD BLESS YOU TONY 🙏🏽 FAMILY AND WIFE
It’s crazy you said you would be at work listening to videos because I swearrrrrr I be at work everyday doing the same thing. I figure if I keep this mindset everyday then I would always have this mindset. I’m only installing greatness into myself !!!! Thankyou for these videos because it’s definitely helping me and my girls heal and grow !🙏🏽🦋
Be blessed I made it. I watch your videos 2 times a day, one before picking my daughter up from school and one before bed, it’s been helping me so much thanks
It takes higher level intelligence to figure out the permutations to every situations. It part of the good thing I like about being an over thinker. It's how people can give wisdom on situations they may never have been on.
Tony you said some true stuff and like you said. The person has to have a made up mind. You cannot keep going back and forth. If they are blocked leave them blocked and do not answer a number that you do know. Thank you Tony I have been listening to you since 2017 and I finally got everything that you have been saying yes it took me three years to get to this point. Better late than never. Thank you!! You are truly a blessing!!
I always watch till the end your videos feed my soul. I am a single mother and I can't afford your fee 4 coaching so this is the way for now to help me do the work to heal. Im in nursing school so one day i will be able to afford your fee. But I do plan on joining your Academy because i want to be a coach and motivational speaker to help others as well . Thank you Tony Godbless ya
I came across your channel a few times in the Last relationship I was in. I’ve listened to them but never really did anything with what I heard. But now, this is like oxygen. Thank you
I was beginning to think I was crazy for "watching the game film" over these past few months and talking to myself. Little did I know this is normal and part of the process of moving on and growing... Thank you Tony for continuing to share your wisdom.
In my case, I've been dealing with a grown boy. I'm going through alone...I'm so glad and grateful that I've come this far by God's grace. It is really bad,so I cut ties with all his friends, family, himself even though we have 3 children and he's never been present in the marriage or children.
I listened to this video again, and it strengthened my will and spirit. Especially when I begin to feel sorry for myself and judge myself. I got even more from it this time around. I absolutely love Tony’s honesty, guidance and wisdom. Make sure you listen to the end.
Dr Frank Love Spells can make your ex come back to you begging you for a second chance. He helped me restore back my broken relationship of 5 years by bringing back my ex Also Dr Frank always keep up with his words I strongly Advise you to seek help from him.
I made it and I'm doing the work starting today. No more going or looking back on something that's killing me from the inside out. It's time to live for me!!! Thanks Tony!!! 🙏🏽
Be blessed I made it! Don't t lower your coaching prices because that's a goal of mine to hire you and I want to achieve it!! So I appreciate you for not lowering your value! Bless you 🙏