When I get social anxiety I start doing that weird laugh talking thing. How do I stop doing that? I’m so conscious of it but I can’t stop doing it. I tell myself in my head to just talk normal but I can’t 😩 I feel like people don’t take me seriously because of it
Ok my fear and social anxiety is that i scare females just because because im 6.3 and i forgotten how to smile so i daily look angry and i am afraid to look at a female and scare them, men i don't give a fuck i know i would fight like my life depends on it and i know they cannot go 0 to 1k as fast as me
I love it. I couldnt go outside, couldnt go shopping in my own town. Right now im in Turkey on Holliday, i was flying(scared me to death), but now im overcame all my fears by facing them over and over again. Lets get free people❤
@@codyp2808Everyone has false beliefs controlling aspects of their lives. Every single human. You are not immune to it. Sometimes it's easier to see like in this case, but you do the same thing. Like believing cracking knuckles is bad so you avoid it, or that owning more things will make you happier, or that toilet seats spread disease in public bathrooms (You're more likely to get a disease from the sink or doorknob), or really any religion as they're all contradictory so at most one of them can be true. Humans funtion on false beliefs because that's how brain biology works. It doesn't go based off truth and fiction, but pattern recognition. You recognize early on in school that people pick on you and berate you when you open your mouth, you wind up like this girl. Source, that's where a lot of my social anxiety is sourced. And no matter how much logic I push into it, my lizard brain still goes into fight or flight because that's how it was trained. And one bad interaction can reset months or years of work
@@hannanah8036well I would say some of this is true. This is sort of a fault of biology but mostly due to the inherent constraints of existence. You cannot know everything. Not even close to .00001% of all things so we must operate on principle. We chose which principles to follow.
She’s so real for saying she’s in danger, cuz I totally get that. I used to struggle a lot more than I do now, and I would absolutely see this as a threatening situation.
@@jordanfalusi7715 bro get ur dis right you know Jesus Christ knows all our pain through the human experience so knows this is a valid feeling. You saying Jesus Christ kinda invalidates the rest of the dis lol. May you have an excellent day random stranger on the internet
@@jordanfalusi7715no fucking shit man of course it’s a joke but some people relate to it because it literally feels like you’re in danger because you’re worried
By "I would see this as a threatening situation," do you mean that you would feel anxiety, or that you would actually believe you were in literal danger?
His "well, exciting!" Sounded so genuine. I like that he seems to want to help, not belittle! He seems super awesome, and I hope she felt empowered after!
In my experience with social anxiety, interactions like this usually hurt instead of help. Especially after the part where he said “everybody think she’s weak. You’re alive nothing happened.” Things like this usually have the adverse intended effect because it’s belittling. Downplaying someone’s anxieties because they’re not real physical threats usually hurts, and it probably hurt even more because they have a literal audience. This type of thing especially doesn’t work with social anxiety because they’re only reaffirming the fears by embarrassing them and looking down on them in front of a bunch of people.
For those who don’t know, anxiety triggers adrenaline which is fight or flight situations even on calm/social situation. It makes you stutter, finger/toes get cold, sweaty and heart pumping fast. The guy is trying to calm her in the situation
He's trying to give her the high of being in a momentum of confidence. If she screams, she will suddenly feel more comfortable in the environment. This practice will allow her to prove to herself that it's possible and that nothing bad is going to happen.
Same. I have nightmares where horrible things are happening and my scream is just a hoarse breath and I cannot call for help. When I was in a bad situation the fear had controlled me for so long it took me a moment to remember that screaming was even an option.
no idea if it would work - but maybe find a place where you can go and scream on a regular basis until you're comfortable with your vocal chords screaming and more confident in it? might help - like going to the dentist after 'teeth falling out' dreams helping.
As someone with severe social anxiety disorder. I admire her being able to stand up there. I could never, my anixety would overwhelm me into freeze response or emotional breakdown with tears and all. 😭
someone who everyone hates is usually not an anxious person. theyre gonna be the ones who are obnoxious and think theyre better than everyone. these are kind of the phantom fears hes talking about. if they do hate you, so what? are you even gonna see them again and if you do are they gonna remember or care?
@@1c0nic_player I think if you're awkward and shy, you can totally come over as unlikable. It has happened to me before. And if it's in front of a large crowd of people, you might actually see some of them again.
well, the reality is the fear has layers. it’s not simply someone/people thinking negatively of you. it’s idea that a bunch of people think negatively/weirdly of you, then they all communicate to eachother how weird you are, and then nobody talks to you. it’s an honestly legitimate fear because everyone wants to be accepted. but even if 20 people never want to talk to you again, there is a WORLD of people out there
We know we aren't in physical danger, but the pressures of a societal stigma are still very real. No one with social anxiety thinks that they're going to be physically attacked, but it's all the what-if situations that become overwhelming because you can't stop thinking about them.
@@tylergaye5457 the body, yes. But I said that we know that we aren't in physical danger. Your body responds the same way, yes, but mentally we know very well that our social interaction isn't going to cause us any physical harm applied to us from an outside force. If you're going around having anxiety about thinking a conversation is going to turn physical at any turn then I think what you're thinking of is called paranoia
@ChaosOrder86 I'm not sure why you think you can separate mind and body reactions. The ENTIRE cause of anxiety disorders is your body going into fight-or-flight (a.k.a. reacting to physical danger) over things it shouldn't be, like conversations, eating certain foods, trying new things, etc. Logically understanding the danger isn't physical doesn't stop the reaction.
You should definitely listen to this guy about overcoming social anxiety. I mean look at the guy, he’s wearing an Asian dragon embroidered flannel shirt and still doesn’t seem embarrassed in front of all those people. True courage.
It's difficult when you have social anxiety based on when you used to be bullied in middle school and you created a false expectation that everyone who you ever meet will laugh at you.. that's my case. Like even 5 years after finding out i have social anxiety, i still can't get over it because whenever i tell myself "there's no threat", it's when i become the most vulnerable and even a little thing puts me back into my box. If i was her, i wouldn't even be able to come at the stage.. and if someone told me to scream and that, i'd started crying. I know it seems like i just tell myself these things, but i've tried everything, and nothing works in the long term and i've given up on doing stuff that makes me feel better for a brief amount of time.
three things have really helped me personally in this regard and i hope that this is even remotely useful to you: the first thing is laughing with them, especially on things that dont actually bother you that much when you are alone and only start to feel like they bother you when someone points them out. i think there can be some psychological reasoning behind how this works, because you sort of train yourself to not feel as bad about those things, but also it makes those people feel more comfortable around you as well. the second thing is intentionally making other people laugh in general, and there are a lot of good reasons why this works that im sure you know for yourself or if not that you can figure out on your own. both of these things have generally helped me personally make friends and feel more comfortable around them, and when you think about the rules of comedy you can also justify things to yourself with them as well. if one joke doesnt land? that's ok, move on to another, that's how comedy works. but the last thing is just being open and honest about how you are feeling in a situation. most adults will be understanding and accepting if you politely point out they are making you uncomfortable or anxious. this is something that i still struggle with myself sometimes, but whenever i do work up the courage to do it, it almost always works out.
Ironically something that helped snap me out of part of my social anxiety, was by belittling myself 😅 "How selfish am I really, to think everyone else and their thoughts revolve around me all the time!" But it's understandable if the brain goblin doesn't listen to it, and it doesn't help. 🫶
That's such a simplistic way of sewing social anxiety. She is not in danger, she is already taking emotional damagae just by being on stage in front of people and every second that passes is additional damage that she is piling on. She is just agreeing with him to get off the stage as quick as possible and it's probably gonna take a while to recover from that experience.
To be honest, I do see where you’re coming from with this logic. Often when I think about where my anxiety comes from, I cast my mind back to the times when I used to go to a lot of school camps when I was a young teen. There they would force us to do a lot of activities to “push us out of our comfort zones” and to learn things like teamwork and basic survival techniques for if we got stranded in the southern African wilderness(???) But I often wasn’t just uncomfortable during those trips - especially because I was constantly on my guard being surrounded by all of my bullies constantly - I was a nervous and anxious wreck and absolutely NOBODY understood why. People would often dismiss it as “just nerves” when in actual reality I was constantly fending off a nervous breakdown.
I was in a group where people were paired off and you had to scream at the other person. There was a particular set of words to use which was cute and pretended to be aggravating. They were guides who walked around and encouraging those who didn’t want to act out with their partner. Then the threat came. If you didn’t get and loud with your partner you’d have to do it on stage. It worked. People gave up their preciousness and yelled. They play acted. It’s all about bringing back the child.
He says in this exact video, it doesn't get to the cause of the anxiety. This is helpful on a surface level understanding. In other videos, he talks at length about letting go and inner work which really gets to the cause of anxiety.
The whole screaming in public thing isn't a demonstration of social anxiety. It's a demonstration of social norms. Not wanting to yell in a group setting is healthy. It means you've bought into the social contract and don't want to be rude. This guy is a showman, not a psychologist.
@@bryantbarnhart3631 it’s not about the screaming itself. It’s about being unstifled. Screaming is an easy way to tell how stifled someone is because if they’re stifled they’re not gonna be able to get much volume. It’s about the demonstration. I’m sure Julian doesn’t go out to the supermarket and start screaming mate.
Even knowing what's real and not isn't really what helps you after you're triggered. Fighting through the mess to think rationally about what's actually happening (Are you really dying? Nope, this has happened sixteen times this year, so what is it? Did something trigger it? Nope, just came out of nowhere?), the process of processing itself can help to ground you. And knowing that this is going to pass just like the others is something to keep in your pocket as a shield.
As someone with social anxiety, I always know theres no reason to feel scared I just dont know how to control it. Thats one of the worst things, I get mad at myself for being scared and then before interactions I sometimes get scared that ill be scared. Idk how to control that.
yea honestly tips like this don’t help. social anxiety isn’t fearing for your life. bro acts like that’s all it is. “if your life isn’t in danger, you’re fine, no reason for anxiety.” is logical but not probable.
People on the outside often imagine these things as a leap of faith kind of thing when they try to reason with logic or push us in situations to make it disappear in a second like it was nothing. But we all know all the flaws in our acts and we constantly push ourselves through unwanted situations sometimes with more sometimes with less successes until it just triggers again. -What helped me the most with anxiety and panic attacks "wierdly" was a tv show of cesar milan "the dog whisperer" where he helped a dog get through a stressful situation with raising an afraid dogs tail in the air, so the body would send masseges to the brain instead. So instead of having the dogs tail between it's legs showing fear it had a dominant body-language it tricked it's mind into condfidence basically. So I tried too faking confidence by acting as confident as I can. Straight back, eye contacts while talking, asking for space, etc. all through body-language and I was faking it until it become real. It didn't solve my problems but at least I don't shut down anymore. It took me 4 years...
Also in regards to judgement, not just safety. People generally are so consumed in how people think they are doing that they won’t be judging you to the same degree that you do yourself. So, let it go, it really does not matter and youre likely being too hard on yourself. No one cares, in the nicest way possible
Anxiety is completely irrational in most cases, it’s very hard to get rid of that even if you know there is no danger. It might work in some minor cases of anxiety to think of it that way but not always for severe cases.
My brother said what helped him the most was to actually assume the worst all the time. He would assume that everybody already was disgusted and embarrassed and cringed by him. He sais that made him feel like he had nothing to lose
This worked for me too but also made me internalize that nobody could like me- which worked great for overcoming the anxiety but was also was very isolating
Man, i want someone with this level of candidness to help me stop seeing people through my ptsd. It frustrates me so much that i am fully aware these are different people, but i can't stop thinking that what happened before will happen again
There's no real emotional threat, that's a brain suggesting that there might be a threat. And it's wrong. That's what he's delivering, that there is no real threat, it's the brain that thinks you're in danger. She's afraid that people will think she's weak, they think it, but she is undamaged in the end. It's a great exercise to do while at therapy, to ask
Took me roughly 20 years to get over mine. The key was moving out from my abusive mother. Didn’t even realise until age 24 she was he source of all my anger, frustration and anxiety. It took me years living alone to realise I had unresolved trauma. Finding the source is often a key solution, but most people don’t even realise what the source is and some never do...
it's important to note that not everyone has a "source." as more science comes out on the topic we are learning that there isnt an exact set of root causes for it that are applicable to everyone. there are consistencies with some people who have social anxiety, such as abuse or bullying as a child, and that it can run in families (not clear if genetic or learned), but we do not have clearly-cut and fine answers that fit for everyone. some people just have it, and others dont. finding a source may work for some people, but it may not work for others.
@@Borochichi I'm sorry I didn't reply sooner, I wasn't in the right frame of mind to give you a proper response. My mom would torment me daily and give me mixed messages "I want you gone from this house" would turn into "I love you and you're always welcome here" multiple times a day. By the last 5 or 6 years, she didn't speak much and was drinking heavily on anti depressants. She eventually died of cancer a few years back now. I don't know how old she was or when she was born but I'd say mid 40's when she died. I'm 29 now and I hadn't seen my mother around 6-12 months when I found out she had terminal cancer. I never went to see, but I wish I saw her face knowing she was going to die alone for what she did. She would pray on my autism by messing with my food or trying to humiliate me. I grew up in and around a lot of pubs in my city to the point where I wouldn't get home until 9pm on a school night because she wouldn't give me the keys. I used to throw up constantly from stress and anxiety and to this day I'm now an alcoholic because she passed that gene down genetically and it didn't trigger until I was 26. I would spend half my nights waiting for my mother to come home and some nights she didn't and never even left a text or a note. She also used to spill wine on my bedroom carpet and immediately deny it to my face and then get violent if I got mad about it. Once when I was 13 she straight up punched me in the nose and would have me crying from rage until I saw stars most nights. When sober, she was ok. But I was basically living with someone who clearly had some undiagnosed mental issues and personal disorder. But yeah, that's most of it lol. I hope you're ok and not going through something similar. I'm still hear after contemplating not being here 2 times 💕
The problem is, our stress hormones in nature triggers regularly... the same hormones that would keep us alive in life or death situations trigger for people with severe anxiety when they step out the door of their home. These people sense mortal danger that is not there. Danger that stretches further than just social shunning, or being bullied. Anxiety *is* an illogical fear. Doesn't mean it's not there though... and it's still a problem that should be tackled carefully and meticulously. A short speech won't fix it...
@@davidvstadensa4552 It is usually caused from a past experience. Like if I was a little kid and was rejected by my friends or my family then I will feel fear in front of people because I my body remembers the past rejection and is telling you that you may be susceptible to it again even though you are probably not. Your body is made for survival so one horrible experience can affect you negatively if you aren’t aware of it. If you can become aware and understand where the fear is coming from then it’s way easier to overcome the anxiety.
I think we’re so socially anxious and anxious in general because we went from being hunter/gatherers for like 170,000 years to having suburban living and grocery stores. We have complex minds built for problem solving. In the wild, we always had a fight or flight issue to deal with, predators, disease, other humans, the elements, etc. we had real problems. Now, we’re trying to shoehorn ourselves into a societal situation and our bodies aren’t built for the type of lives we have now.
As someone who gets regular panic attacks in social situations, this woman is genuinely inspiring to me that she was even willing to try being up on that stage and kept herself together!
"Quick, everyone think she's weak, go!" has me on the floor. I have Social Anxiety and this exactly the type of stuff that would help me out in a situation like this.
Yes, I know others thinking I'm weird/stupid/annoying/etc won't actually kill me, but the emotional weight of knowing that someone might not like me just b/c I'm me is enough to make me want to crawl into a hole and never come out.
the unfortunate truth is that what people think about you never is about you 🤷♀️ my favorite thing that i try my best to live by is “what other people think about me is none of my business.” people usually dislike people who trigger something within themselves, it’s always dependent on the person. what matters is that you like you because you’re you and that fact alone will help you separate who’s opinion of you you value and whose you will disregard. you can’t please everyone! the best you can do is give yourself a reason to like you and you’ll attract likeminded people who will too
Who gives a fuck man. If it's someone you know or someone close then fair enough, but if it's a complete stranger you shouldn't give a single fuck wha they think of you, you'll never see them again
@@LocksVid Unfortunately, extreme rejection sensitivity is a part of ADHD and anxiety (both of which I have). Put that together w/ an emotionally abusive father, and "Tah-dah", here I am. 🙃
@@LuxNovuz then they are overly sensitive losers "emotional harm" is not a thing get over it and move on being confident is not hard i do it all the time
My favorite explanation for anxiety is that for our ancestors, there WAS something to be concerned about almost all the time, it's less expensive in nature to be more afraid of something than you shouldn't be than it is to be less afraid of something you should be. "We just have leftover 'Run-from-tiger' juice from our ancestors"
I've been dealing with two severe anxiety disorders all my life and the fact that when he said that, even if I was in public, I would probably still go through with it, made me smile
no its not? idk maybe it is, im a socially awkward person but i dont understand the train of thought where "i wasnt expecting this" would seriously prohibit you from doing anything
My dude does not comprehend the very real and visceral danger of social shaming and being outed from a group. People who are not scared of social shame are called sociopaths. They can do anything without fear.
I suffered with social anxiety most of my life.. triggered by 11 years of bullying every single day to the point where I had my head banged off walls, threw down stairs.. kids jumping on my head , and even threw from a moving minibus once. It took 20 years to overcome it and it’s liberating being able to walk into a room and captivate everyone and hold the attention of entire crowds. Close of up magic was my out of what could have been a much worse situation
I'm so sorry you had to go through this. I was heavily bullied in middle school and I still remember how miserable It made me feel. Kids can be borderline sociopathic, especially when they choose a shy one as their target.
It probably didn’t help that I was raised in a cult so I was a pretty easy target. Didn’t think I’d made it through my teens but I managed to get married (to a complete narcissist though), had 2 kids.. fought my way out the cult.. got divorced.. spent a few years getting to know me and who I actually was, remarried to a gem of a woman, had another kid, moved into my dream job and and enjoying life in my 40s so yeah I have turned out alright. I probably wouldn’t change anything as my 3 kids are my world and I’d do it all again to have the pleasure of raising them. I avoided deep mental trauma.. somehow and have managed to box it all away in a “lessons learned” mental folder. Just a few minor physical scars and iron burns as evidence of the time
@@ScepticEngineer Thanks for the follow-up of your comment. It's great to hear you're in a better place in life now and have a loving family at your side. You deserved happiness and healing, I'm happy for you.
My panic attacks while driving is crazy. Long distance highway driving & public speaking/embarrassment is the litmus test to know if people have serious anxiety issues 😅. Julien is an amazing teacher
You don't need me to do those two things to know I got it bad lol My doctor saw it clearly right away and said it was the worst case he'd ever seen. But I wanna be great, I'm not backing down. Random panic attacks are hard, but everyone has issues.
@@michilua6212thats exactly what u do wrong, taking the easy path will make the long run hard (genuinely not trying sound like a corny poet wannabe lol) i mean don't push yourself TOO much but at the same time "raise" your limit. i got through social anxiety or something like that (idk i never went to a doctor) after the quarantine and what helped was just simply meeting people aka EXPERIENCE, if u have social anxiety go and meet new people even if that literally means just going to the store and interacting with the cashier. for the road idk what to recommend but i would also recommend experience and going out of your way just to drive and if u have any types of roads other than the highway then of course start with whatever is easier road to you, it'll feel slow but u will gt better before u know it. last panic attack i got was actually fairly recent but it was almost instantly gone, went to a very public place after not going very public for many months, just when i was getting out of the subway i got the panic attack, I didn't tell my friend anything just breathed and relaxed myself, was fine for the whole rest trip. hope this helps at least a bit sorry if i wrote too much i tend to do taht when im sleepy💀
that my guy, is called catharsis in sorta casual nerdy speak that's not quite 1:1 but gets the idea across: sudden release of pent up energy and tension = relaxation and ease
i struggle with anxiety since the pandemic and boy what this man just said is the most realistic truth. I believe it helped me giving me what to focus on when a crisis hits me. Thank you.
The problem with stuff like this is that anxiety is just an uncontrollable deep state of psychological questions that constantly make you paranoid. They are controllable to some, and therapy like this will help them ease their mind through some face value common sense; however, some people have anxiety that roots so deep it goes beyond subconscious, it literally *eats* away at your thought processes and becomes a part of you, it becomes you personality. It's hard to know how to tell yourself obvious things like nobody wants to kill you because you look normal or something like that, because when anxiety is deep, sometimes understanding it too much is a double edged sword, you know your thoughts are irrational, but you can't stop them.
Anxiety is caused by an overactive limbic system, which generates stress and adrenaline when it perceives threats. Rationalizing the issue activates the cortex, which allows you to assert control over your feelings. It doesn't work 100% of the time, but it helps.
It can be a very effective for the majority of cases, yes rationalizing on its own tends to be rather ineffective bc your brain learns and changes mostly from personal experience rather than thoughts. Thats why this kind of thing is done in conjunction with exposure therapy. Repeatedly putting yourself into anxiety inducing situations and coming out alive is a very good way for your brain to learn that youll be okay and calm down. Mileage may vary
@@ratatoskrnuts6354 It's not that 'it doesn't work 100% of the time', the problem with anxiety is that it is the rest of the times. Having a little nervousness about a situation, like a speech or job interview, can be rationalised away precisely because it's not anxiety; the person isn't being overwhelmed by many, often contredictory, feelings. It's like comparing catching a ball to juggling.
its a start tho. you have way more power over your brain than you probably realize, realizing that its irrational plants a seed in your brain that can grow to kill at least part of the anxiety.
People with social anxiety should give acting lessons a try. It sounds weird (and scary,) but if you stick to it, it’ll help a lot. Good acting is being completely present in the moment, focusing on the people around you instead of yourself, and reacting freely without a self conscious buffer. Plus, a solid class is very much a safe space and everyone around you is doing the same uncomfortable exercises you are, which is very reassuring.
@@Aw_Tizzy the fact that its icky is the whole point. exposure therapy, the more you get used to it the less its icky. if youre able to force yourself to do it it will probably help
As someone who has been held at gunpoint multiple times at their job being shot is a realistic concern. You never know when you're dealing with a mentally unstable person.
statistically speaking its very unlikely. you can have a very high degree of confidence that you are not. it is much better to be ready only for when it actually happens and not for all of the possibilities that it could happen. :D
@@Akrucious asking for sources on a topic like this is very difficult due to restrictions put on RU-vid comments. suffice to say, these are well-established statistics that you can easily google yourself.
I literally overcame my social anxiety by just spending more time with my friends and forgetting all the pressure my family put on me. I was about to say I changed my mindset, but I only managed to do that because I was with different people. I always had it in me to be confident, we all do.
No but here's the thing, and I always think of this when this type of video arrives in my feed: She IS in danger. We as human beings are herd animals. If we get excluded from the herd, we are in danger - evolutionary speaking. So isn't she really in "danger" by doing something that sticks out? I have social anxiety btw.
that used to be the case in old times when it meant death to be ostracized from the tribe. our fears are unwarranted in modern time though. Read about the amygdala and the science of self sabotage from The 5AM Club. Conforming to others and worrying would mean you're not really living your life. Do what you want and have fun. We don't really have that much time on earth.
@@indramaha4266 thank you for replying. I know it not is danger today per se, but we still risk a lot by "screaming" or other transgressive behavior. As a social anxiety person myself, I would love to learn and understand how to fully overcome this! :)
but these are strangers. respectfully trying to justify the fear in your head doesnt help it go away at all, our brains have way more power over us than we realize and ralitionalizing a fear will only enforce it while noting that it doesnt actually make sense will help to remove or reduce it
he’s spot on. i have to remind myself that i’m safe and sometimes it does really help. i have severe anxiety, CPTSD, OCD and other unrelated stuff, but changing the way i talked to myself and being more forgiving has helped me push thru the anxiety at times. i was even able to speak at my sister’s wedding last week!
Like gordon ramsay said, "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass; it's about learning to dance in the rain." I know it's hard, i've been dealing with social anxiety my whole life, even on my job i work behind the curtain where i don't do social stuff with people and it's hard It's holding me back from having a better career soooo many times. But for you who also suffer from this, trust me on this one, flip that switch off once in awhile on an occasion where you know you have to or you'll lose something, just do it and only think about yourself not what other people might be thinking, you'll be surprised of what you can do and what you can achieve. But don't do it if you feel like you don't get anything on it, you then gonna start thinking why i did that and millions other things.
"What’s the realistic danger or threat?" Me who just got slapped with the DSM-5 and has been living in a constant state of fight or flight for the past 20 years: Well you see, the thing about that-
As someone with social anxiety. The best way to overcome it is by socializing, with strangers. Sometimes you're gonna look dumb, sometimes you'll be proud of yourself. And as times goes by, you'll be less anxious when being around strangers
I watched a video about a man who said that when he understood that he was actually being mean to others, by assuming they were thinking mean thoughts about him, he was able to change his perception. If you assume everyone is nice, then you can assume that when they have a bad day, it’s just that. Wow. We are our own worst enemies for real!
Victim mentality syndrome.. And an outgoing human encouraging another. Beautifully breaking generational curses during guided practices. Truly inspiring.
I think he's trying to get rid of fear, which is an emotion, through thinking, which is the logical part of ourselves. Working on my emotions, through meditation and embodiment, is what helped me getting rid of my social anxiety.
I have extreme anxiety sometimes w one on one professional environments like doctors, interviews etc. So much so that I damn near shutdown and cannot think, my heart rate sky rockets and I go into panic attacks. I think it comes from when i was a child, my stepmom would send me to my room when i got in trouble st school or home to wait for my dad. He'd get home, eat, watch tv and then call me into his room. He would lecture me for and hour or two, all the while i knew what was coming and dreading it. After the lecture, hed take his belt off and tell me to bend over, and beat the living piss outta me lol. Some nights id be sent to bed without dinner immediately after. Happened alot. I was a troubled kid and even more troubled adult. Now in my mid 30s i think i understand some of my behavior, however i have no clue how to prevent the onset of anxiety even though i understand what is happening and that i will be fine.
So this is actually really helpful. As far as internet goes, use this video for anxiety advice. It’s basically what you’re working towards with Cognitive behavioral therapy, but shorter and to the point. I liked this a lot
For the people who thinks this is “weird” or “what’s the point” of doing this. Of course Julien is not saying or condoning that you should go around and scream out loud in public, you could get arrested for that. But the whole point of his lectures is to provide a space for people to get out of their comfort zones and explore our minds.
Julien's videos helped me get out of my social anxiety big time. I can now speak to strangers, go out all night at a music concert alone and make friends there. I'm still an introvert though. But I'm not afraid of speaking up. Thank you Julien and Owen.
Therapist had me grab something alone in the store today. It took so much from me that the rest of the day I just slept and couldn't do anything. She's already so brave for standing there, I think I would've start crying
ignore the first guy idk why hes an asshole, but damn that sounds severe. im assuming the lady on stage doesnt have it quite as drastic as you lol. you probably have heard this, but you can know with absolutely certainty that no one is judging you nearly as hard as you think they are and if they are, screw them. you probably wont even see them again
How do you make friends with people who are not open to new friends in their friendgroup such as at school? Even if i already have decent social skills?
Find people who share your interests, go to public places other than school where people your age hang out. Just keep talking with/meeting new people, you'll find some people you vibe with. Good luck broski
Whenever my anciety rears its ugly head out of nowhere, I try to immediately identify the source. As I search for the source and inevitably find nothing, my brain starts calming down on its own. It learns that I was never in any danger to begin with and my anxiety shows up less often now.
This was one of the biggest realisation I've ever had when I was in High school, like a genuine life changing tip. Your brain isn't always rational. What you feel isn't always based on reality, sometimes you just need to stop and assess the situation logically and just ignore your emotions. When I realised that it was like I finally had a tool I could use to be functional in society.
Honestly, real or skit, this is a good way for both people with social anxiety and who don't have social anxiety to see it and see how it's overcome. He asks her if she's in danger. It's clear that she is not in any kind of danger, but she responds yes. She said yes because her body was telling her she was in danger, and that's social anxiety. Despite very clearly being in a situation that won't cause harm, you feel like it will. You can't discern why so you start to look at the world around you, and convince yourself there's something in the world around you that wants to harm you, and then you spiral off that. Her answering like that, as someone with severe social anxiety as a diagnosis, is comforting. It tells us that we aren't the only ones that feel that way. We can relate to her, and relate to her overcoming that struggle to the best extent she can, and tells us that we can do that too. The fact she can't really do what he wants the first time, and how he tells her it's a good start and to try again, is reassuring that we can do it with time and practice.
Recognizing that no one else really cares about the things that really bother me has helped tremendously. Still got a long way to go, but that was like a jump from 100-65% anxious. Everything you know is what your brain tells you, and sometimes you can’t trust that and have to actively parse out the information
a lot of us already know this and it is helpful but the anxiety still exists and likely always will. just got to slowly improve over time and make the effort to do so.
this line of thinking really only teaches me that *you* just don’t have social anxiety, or likely, anxiety in general; because as someone with anxiety in the field of psychology, i can very easily *tell* myself the reasons to not feel anxious.. but i still *feel* it. discovering the root of the cause by saying something like “oh well no one cares if they think you’re weak” doesn’t do anything cuz i also know that id lie to make someone feel better (so they might be doing that to me) but also i just don’t know what others are thinking and can’t control that so im constantly in a feeling or worry that someone will feel a certain way without me even being the reason they started feeling that way.. and that’s terrifying for someone with social anxiety. no rationalizing is gonna make me feel any less anxious in social settings
"Everyone right now, think that she is weak." That was an awesome suggestion. I felt less anxious imagining that notion while imagining screaming. Imagining while imagining ... that's anxiety. Lol.
I ve been at a free speaking training once. At the end of the class we did role play. We had to read out loud random sentences, but in different moods. So I took my sentence and yelled it as loud as I could while slapping the table with my hand. Most of the participants looked afraid and confused. Exercise was interrupted. Some women explained that they thought I were a psychopath or something. That was a bad experience.
I like that when he asked if shes in danger and she said "Yeah" and everybody in the audience laughed, he didn't. He looked at her and nodded. Because he understands that while it is funny for others because shes clearly not in danger, its really about her and her perception. So he sees that shes giving an honest answer and instead of laughing he asks her about why she feels like shes in danger. Super cool.
