If I Had SOCIAL ANXIETY, I'd Do This First... 

I'm glad I found your channel Julian

​@@HarelAvital Me too 😊

Fake scam only looks and health can fix everything look he are model some girls get crush wtf social anxiety its because diet if i eat regular food i got paranoya and almost endes up died now im on raw primal diet

Julien light the blunt!

@@DT.2024 Trump Punk he will never be president again dum dum

🙏🙏🙏

We are helping him with google adsense revenue and promotion.

Your right

@@josephmarzulloThere’s always one of you lot in the comments section 😅

@@JulienHimself Thank you Julien for these videos and for helping to transform lives 🙏

I stop the video every few seconds because I get second hand embarrassment and feel uncomfortable.

i read the comments to distract myself

​@@hans8656 same here I can't even watch hilarious and embarrasing scenes because of that

@@hans8656 It took me about 2/3 weeks to finish this video because I kept on pausing and delaying.

I'm cringing at all the gullible idiots falling for this obvious con

Social anxiety has nothing to do with "bravery" or being "weak" or not being "strong". That is neurotypical false explanations of trauma. We are not our feelings. If we feel scared and panicked - this does not mean who we are as person and what are our traits. When we decide to fuse our emotions with our worth it is called Emotional Fusion - and it leads to mental illness. Our emotions will become our masters - and we will be at the mercy of our emotions and feelings to feel good or bad about ourselves, about who we are as person at the core. Then toxic shame has reign of tyranny over us - it simply releases inner critic and we will be neurotic all life about anything in life. All social anxiety issues stem from ACoA - it is complex trauma - we were programmed into self hatred and toxic shame. Our emotions are not problem, our triggers are not problem - we are suppose to have trauma when we experience abuse and Coercive control. True problem are narcissists and predators and abusers - not our emotions nor our reactions to toxic people who choose to be evil.

@@ranc1977 my comment really wasn't that deep, it did take a lot of bravery to stay up there after he took the step to even get up in the first place and actually commit to do what Julien asked, instead of just leaving/not doing it which would have been oh so much easier.. confronting your fears does take bravery, whether you believe that's a real thing or not lol

@@shushinfushin1312 If you look through life from the prism of "bravery" - you will be obsessed with fears and anxiety and panic, and you will live in survival mode all the time - since you must be "brave". You will start to notice other people and then judge them for being "brave" or "not brave". That is now OCD issue - since it involves obsession and rigid mindset. When people are not "brave" - that is not because they are cowards or because they are weak. There are billions of reasons why people do or not do something. Polarizing thinking, judging the people from the binary mindset of being brave or not being brave is rigid mindset - and any rigid thinking leads to mental illness, paradoxically to more fears and more of feeling of not being brave. You will simply get stuck like hamster in wheel - turning it around, hoping if you spin it enough time, you will become brave and accepted and validated by others and by yourself. That is all toxic shame, and it stems from AcoA exposure . narcissistic abuse.

​@@shushinfushin1312He analyzing like Einstein, truth is that even tho English isn't even his first language, he stepped forward in front of that huge crowd, very brave and handsome guy

@@ranc1977 You really tryna sound smart like you know

When you’re attractive people expect a lot more from you so it’s actually common for attractive people to be reserved

@@hunterinfected6 great perspective. But anxiety is not about looks leading the mindset

@@ThePeacePlant ok? still a big fuqin part of it tho

​@@hunterinfected6so fking true man

it does in cases, and it does not in others. stop thinking in black and white

I hope you get better as soon as you can. Don't worry about what society says you should be, just be yourself. If people don't like you than they can go on with their lives. You don't need to be popular to be cool. Be you! Social hierarchy is mainly immature high school B.S and the world Instagram users live in, social media is fake, dudes are on steroids and girls are prostitutes on Instagram, nobody lives by Instagram in real life and if they do then just take them out of your group because they are no where near the majority

Stage is small incident, something that we won't experience much in life. Real problem are narcissistic abusive toxic predators - which Julien does not mention at all, you know -real life. He does not mention ACoA at all, he does not mention socio-economic aspect at all - lack of money. That contributes to anxiety issues, too. What he is teaching is Fight Response. We can respond to trauma in 4F: Fight- Flight - Freeze or Fawn. Neither of these responses are "better" nor healing - they are trauma responses. IF our personality is agreeableness - and if we decide to hate it and scapegoat it for being abused by someone that causes panic emotions - we will develop personality disorder if we decide to suppress agreeableness. Agreeableness is Big 5 persona, personality - it is not sickness nor abnormality. The true problem are toxic predators, abusers - not our reactions to sick and evil people who choose to harm others.

This reminds me an episode in highschool, it was my fist solo harp in a theater, never been on stage especially with stage light pointing at you, big crowd, parents/ teachers, cameras watching, I didn't know what going on stage (alone) felt like...cried 2 minutes before going on stage....damn I learned that I have social anxiety the hard way to be honest 😅 Stopped playing harp after that, it was too much.

@@mimichuchu3267 This is performance anxiety. it is not social anxiety.

@@ranc1977 nah bro if I can't even look at people, if I can't talk to them even if I buy groceries, if I'm uncomfortable around other people, I'm pretty sure, it's social anxiety bro And it all started with that.

This physical pain is trauma. It is a signal that there is unprocessed shocking events that are stored and waiting in our body and they create damage there and come up to surface as anxiety. This is not abnormality - toxic people who scream and who are hysterical caused this trauma. This means - trauma is not associated with braveness. Toxic society is giving us wrong messages and wrong explanations, toxic masculinity is doing incredible psychological damage since it makes us feel toxic shame for feeling trauma. Toxic shame is deep core self hatred and self disgust buried deep inside us at the core of who we are. When we have this toxic shame inside us - we will make bad decisions in life and we will attract criminally insane psychopaths around us. Healing the trauma and toxic shame means that we realize that our emotions such as feeling weak, vulnerable and fear are not our self worth. When we are abused and traumatized - other people will consciously and unconsciously do more damage by giving us wrong explanations and telling us that we suppress our emotions and that we build fake narcissistic image of "strength". That fake persona is path to mental illness.

Yeah watching him made me feel as if my blood pressure raised. A part of me weren't too sure although this Julien seems to be here to help. Putting myself in this poor lads shoes, I would be thinking "ok he seems to be trying to help me but I'm wondering if he's also trying to get a rise out of me secretly or is this whole exercise purely for my own benefit." That's what I was thinking when he made him squat down to pretend was taking a crap.

@@achilles8356 It's called Mathew Effect - when we are down on our knees we will be robbed too (quote from New Testament where it got its name). When we are traumatized and when we have shy issues - when we have any kind of problem in life and need and when we need help - there will ALWAYS be psychopaths and narcissists who lurk in shadow to abuse and take advantage of anyone in need. Toxic people will present themselves as Knight on white horse, our fantasy that there is some kind of perfect person who will be Superman and resolve our issues quickly. That does not exist. We need to be aware that unfortunately we live in psychopathic world where society protects and worship psychopaths - and they will exploit us when we ask for genuine help.

I felt the same

@@nicolad100 The goal of regulating emotions is not to make feelings go away...the aim is to help clients build their capacity to ride the waves of big emotions and sensations. Dr Arielle Schwartz

same exact story for me too. i forgot how to act how i used to be it felt so weird realizing the person i had become wasnt even me, i was just playing a character thinking that if i avoid all confrontation and discomfort in my life, my life would be happy and peaceful but it turned out to be the most depressing years of my life. i was living in fear for nothing.

Hi! Same here with playing a character in school. Going to kindergarten and school were not the coolest experiences. Broke my authentic spirit combined with traumatic environment at home and later in life in experiences. I am still me inside or with close ones but the sum of it all appears to hinder me from really fitting in sometimes. Well, I think that in all situations you lose you also win some things. An astrologer told me that I have an aspect that might cause me to not have many friends or to be accepted in the same way others are. Probably because the past left some scars that are still there and it probably makes others uncomfortable. Well, I get that in some way. Maybe it's destiny. I just hope I will be of help to some in this life because of what I have been through. Despite of it all, I am lucky and grateful, because I gained value and meaning in other aspects. Hope you all will get all the joy you didn't have as a kid and teen in your adult life! And hope you will become your most authentic selves, as no one is looking. Because even if they are and you feel judged, you probably are awesome!

We did not become socially anxious due to toxic teachers. They added the fuel into fire - but the true cause is narcissistic abuse at the home, called and known in psychology as ACoA and ACE.

Sounds like me rn ngl

yeah the exact same thing happened to me when i changed schools when i was 8

Couldn't have said it any better

True

Great comment. The "one-sided audition" line really describes my past approach to socializing.

Round of applause 👏🏻 So insightful really

Shakespeare couldn’t have said it better, well done friend.

Remember at the end of the day, no one gives a fvck if you tripped over your words that day. Just be yourself, but you do need a bit of discipline to do your best in the public in the USA. You don't need to follow trends are anything, just be yourself, no one really cares about trends after college, it's child's play

I know he most likely felt breathless up there, so if YOU are reading this (guy in the video) you have my deepest respects. It's not easy to keep yourself upright and still when your entire body is telling you to run for your life. Good job.

@@jonasc1221man i shed tears as i saw how good he did

His male audience is very attractive. Male empaths and HSPs usually are.

@@ranc1977 HSP

Psychedelics definitely have potential to deal with mental health issues such as anxiety and depression, I would like to give them a try but haven't found any legit grower to get it.

@@APOLLINAIREBARTHOLOMIEUYes, dr.sporesss

A lot of people have testified about this and I really want to give it a shot. I put so much on my plate and it definitely affects my stress and anxiety levels

@@eddiejohn8506Is he on instagram?

The Trips I've been having have really helped me a lot,I finally feel in control of my emotions and my future and things that used to be mundane to me now seem incredible and full of nuance on top of that I'm way less driven by my ego and I have alot more empathy as well

"keeping your true self hidden and trying to act cool, you actually make things worse" That is called Masking. it is absolutely devastating for anyone with Neurodivergent mind, like spectrum on Autism and ADHD where natural brain activities are symptomized, mocked, pathologized and bullied into hiding. Then parts of our personality become suppressed - and this leads to mental illness.

true... I was bullied for that throughout my highschool and I didnt understand why. Juliens videos are so powerful, eye opening

@@aesthetic.destruction2341 I'm sorry you got bullied.

@@aesthetic.destruction2341 What Julien is talking about is a mere 0,5% of social anxiety information and data, very surface level information. Yet it is impressive to learn that our "shyness" is based on trauma and it is not personality defect as ableist CBT describes it. There is a whole lot which he never mentions in his videos - even though he has medium and mass attention. Hopefully he will use my comments to broaden his research and data and step back from his Toxic Masculinity approach that he is promoting here.

​​@@xCaptainChloexI was bullied so much,had to change school.

He is teaching us to become narcissistic, to become jerk and insensitive. That is great if someone is really jerk - but it won't work with HSPs empaths - anyone with social anxiety - because we have high moral and ethical standards. When we suppress who we truly are - we will develop personality disorder and more of anxiety. When we really accept our high moral and ethical standards - we will put a price tag on ourselves and start to cut off toxic people and narcissists who parasite on our Negative politeness - as Negative politeness is one of facets of high moral and ethical standards. Negative politeness is trying not to harm and hurt anyone with our actions nor our words to such extent that we put our own needs and interests aside - and this attracts narcissistic predators to exploit us and our high standards of not harming other people.

@@ranc1977 Oh now you wanna gaslight

@@5Akecheta4 You also abuse other commentators here. You are serial abuser. Social anxiety is not an issue of weak will. IT is trauma unprocessed and stuck inside our body. Trauma needs healing - and the only way to heal trauma id to validate and accept ourselves. as a we are.

such a lamb of the flock thing to say.@@ranc1977

Me too!

i think it would be nice for anyone else on earth to know i exist for a few moments

Nice story and lovely that you appreciate your parents even more! I agree that going back to your roots and even talking with your parents about your past, how you were when you were growing up and so on.

Thank you ! I really apprecciate your advice , I'll try it out . ❤️

Aww this is amazing :)) I’m glad it helped. I soon will be that butterfly in Jesus name amen

I don't have any

I love this post! I hope you are doing well in life

Very much the same. I have a hard time doing normal shores with people around. Love exercise but never set a foot in a gym. In childhood being able to be invisible or meek was a life saving trait. Hard to let go of.

@@annalieb2075I’m the exact same. Do you think it’s possible to let go of it? I’m halfway through high school and want to enjoy it

Wow this helped Me a lot I have this trait of hating being celebrated and what not that involves all eyes on me and I never put two and two together

My mom was a strict single parent so when I did something wrong it’s all she would ever talk about and was blow up with nothing else going on or other interactions to clam the storm

Adult children of alcoholics guess at what normal behavior is. 🟨Janet G. Woititz Adult children of alcoholics constantly seek approval. 🟨Janet G. Woititz Adult children of alcoholics lie when it would be just as easy to tell the truth. Adult children of alcoholics over-react to changes which they have no control. 🟨Janet G. Woititz Codependents in general and Adult children of Alcoholics tend to expect others to make them happy. When I don't get validation, my victim mentality will kick in - because that's what Mum did. She would complain if not validated. Negative thinking is learned behavior 🟥Lisa Romano 10 Common Struggles for Adult Children of Alcoholics 1. Being rigid and inflexible 2. Difficulty trusting or being closed off 3. Shame and loneliness 4. Self-criticism 5. Perfectionism 6. People pleasing 7. Being highly sensitive or reactive 8. Being overly responsible...

your ego is attached to your self-worth or lack thereof, and trauma is what damages your self worth.

Moral relativism leads for narcissists to become leaders, tyrannic. Like Putin or Trump being in charge - since nobody would care about ego. Any rigid mindset is sickness. It leads to anxious avoidant attachment style - and it is learned in ACoA abusive ambient - where there is black and white thinking. If something is black , you simply replace it with white. In real life - binary thinking leads to bad and catastrophic decisions in life. We live in fuzzy logic, everything is in spectrum. Everything in life is not rigid - it is in the state of flow, it asks for us love and care and protection, not cold narcissistic hysterical fake mask which Julien is programming you to believe in.

It’s about being authentic while also being relatable… Watch this: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-Pn00Fdy7k3Q.htmlsi=-4hhGpMdbcCuysmu

Most people are fake and narcissistic - since they applied techniques suggested by Julien. That is why they see you as obnoxious and annoying - they don't like mirroring - they don't like to see their true face. They would rather stay in narcissistic fantasy of grandiosity. So when you are authentic - fake people will hate it. Since they hate their true self. Problem are toxic evil narcissists - not you. Not your truth. To say what you feel is to dig your own grave Album: I Do Not Want What I Haven't Got Black Boys on Mopeds Song by Sinéad O'Connor

This so much. Anytime I get to feeling confident, my mouth gets me in trouble fast

🙏

Lovely and true

Social anxiety is not sickness to overcome nor cure. Quote: They see us as timid, shy, weak, or unsociable. Fearing these labels, we try to be like others. But that leads to our becoming overaroused and distressed. Then that gets us labeled neurotic or crazy, first by others then by ourselves. The Highly Sensitive Person, Elaine N. Aron Learning to see our trait as a neutral thing-useful in some situations, not in others-but our culture definitely does not see it, or any trait, as neutral. Be careful about accepting labels for yourself such as "inhibited", "introverted", "shy" The Highly Sensitive Person,E. Aron "Sooner or later everyone encounters stressful life experiences, but HSPs react more to such stimulation. If you see this reaction as part of some basic flaw, you intensify the stress already present in any life crisis. This deeper processing of subtle details causes you to consider the past or future more. You "just know" how things got to be the way they are or how they are going to turn out. It can be wrong, but your intuition is right often enough that HSPs tend to be visionaries, more conscientious, cautious and wise people. It is important not to confuse arousal with fear. And often we think that our arousal is due to fear. We do not realize that our heart may be pounding from the sheer effort of processing extra stimulation. I really suggest trying to view it as neutral. HSPs must spend far more time trying to invent solutions to human problems just because they are more sensitive to hunger, cold, insecurity, exhaustion, and illness. Since most non-HSPs do not seem to enjoy thinking about such things, they assume we must be unhappy doing all that pondering. Spend enough time putting yourself out there in the world - your sensitivity is not something to be feared. Carl Jung believed that when highly sensitive patients has experienced a trauma, they had been unusually affected and so developed a neurosis. Preferring toughness, the culture sees our trait as something difficult to live with, something to be cured. HSPs differ mainly in their sensitive processing of subtle stimuli. This is your most basic quality." The Highly Sensitive Person, Elaine N. Aron

W cope

@@fueg00nyxxx L + didn't ask + stay mad

Do semen retention and a bit of dopamine detoxing and you'll be good, all types of anxieties and fears will be gone within 2-3 months

@@Nothing-lr3dt Semen retention is very powerful, but this is simply not true. I speak from experience. However, it will at least reduce anxiety.

@@v.v.v.v.v.7273 i mean i also speak from experience but fair, i personally don't have anxiety anymore at all, same with fear, of course if you were to put me in a cage with a lion or any extreme example like that i would still feel fear but i mean when it comes to normal day to day life it's completely gone for me

I consider myself good looking and I am suffering from terrible social anxiety very often. Its something that I constantly have to try to suppress. I am semi functuioning :/ Me on the avatar

@@Nothing-lr3dt dude what ? 😂 what’s with this trend of alpha bros & their semen retention?? Also there scientifically no way not jerking off gets rid of all your problems/trauma/anxiety/does your inner shadow work for anyone. Youre literally not getting to the root of any of your problems that way; maybe it’s helping you with adrenaline or something but then again boxers don’t jerk off for a long time before fights because it builds up testosterone which i believe acts similar to adrenaline/fight or flight (anxiety) so ?

" to get out of his comfort zone " When you get out of comfort zone with trauma unprocessed - we will get imploded like carbon fibre submersible in deep depths of ocean. Look at 3rd world countries - they are living outside their comfort zone - and they are not getting rich at all - in fact they swim in feces, corruption, cocaine mafia and poverty.

Wow you really worked hard and grown so much! That's so inspiring. I hope you are proud of yourself and can feel that inside. Awesome 👍

​@@dianavandevalk3714 " really worked hard and grown" Denial and suppression is not growth at all. IT is Regression and it leads to mental illness and building a fake persona of grandeur and superiority. The key to understanding Narcissistic Personality Disorder is that the entire formation of the personality is based around a false self. So they have a hyper idealized vision of themselves that protects them from the realities of the world. So basically all of these are a reflection of when reality creeps in, it defies the reality of the false self and causes the narcissist to wake up to the fact that they're living inside of a delusion. And this created mortification and can spiral the narcissist into complete crisis. YT 7 Things That Frighten Narcissists To Their Core RICHARD GRANNON

I have autism so I have difficulty reading faces. So unless it's like an obvious smile I have no idea what you're thinking of or feeling. With RSD I will going to assume negative, I can't define smile - I'll go with: you're angry. YT PurpleElla

lol you sound like an anime character

@@mrosskne Lol true. I just realized haha.

Yeah I’ve been going through this as well man. Always like some sort of game isn’t it. Don’t worry. You’ll gain the information you need and you’ll realize what Kanye said is right. “We’re all unpaid actors in this giant script”

Most people do not put much thought into talking. You need to do the same. Practice talking without thinking too much and see where it leads you.

​@@indianscience5858to say pathetic dumb shit I regret

If you speak slow it down. Don't speak quickly, speak slower. If you talk fast you sound desperate and underconfident. If you talk slower you seem more relaxed. It will help you come up with what to say next without blanking. Don't talk like a sloth though. Be relaxed. As for cracking witting jokes, if you don't have one then you don't have to find one. It probably doesn't matter as much as you think.

That is because they are Neurotypical - their brain is not much deep, it runs on surface level as most of people. They are dumb. Neurodivergent, HSP mind takes time to process information. That is not sickness. Without ability to process information we would make irrational hysterical bad decisions in life.

This!!!! I was constantly making mistakes and teachers always made it seem like a crime 🥲 I’d get so upset about not being able to accomplish something and be good at something because I was constantly being told off or constantly being told that my work is satisfactory and everyone else’s was better if that makes sense😔 totally ruined my confidence

I agree with this

Te comprendo completamente la ANSIEDAD SOCIAL es un problema súper limitante yo eh desperdiciado muchos años con esa Ansiedad sintiéndome como atrapado en una jaula sin poder salir y sentirme libre, también gracias a Julián eh mejorado aún me cuesta un poco socializar pero ya voy mejorando es un proceso espero y que también todos los que tengan este problema puedan sentirse libres de nuevo

Felicidades, amiga! Que logres todo lo q quieras! El mundo es TUYO!!!

9 Signs if Quiet BDP 1. You are calm on the outside but suffer on the inside 2. You have a high need for control, and hate uncertainty 3. You withdraw from people and shut down very easily 4. You mentally retreat or dissociate, as coping mechanism 5. You have an unclear sense of self, resulting in low self-esteem 6. You always blame yourself for everything, and self sabotage a lot 7. You avoid conflicts and anger at all cost, and check yourself as not to offend anyone 8. You are extremely fearful of both abandonment and intimacy 9. You look 'perfect' from the outside, but deep down inside you keep on isolating yourself more - Quiet BPD subtype Also known as High-Functioning BPD One of the subtypes of BPD, people living with "quiet" or "discouraged borderline" live in extreme emotional turmoil because they don't show their distress. - not easily detectable - those with the disorder often struggle alone because they feel like a burden - common people-pleasing behavior - withdraw when upset - feel detached from the world to cope - fear of rejection and abandonment - fear of being alone - social anxiety and self isolation (Healthline, 2020) ; thebrightbabe - QuietBPD A person living with quiet BPD will typically internalize their emotions, which creates invisible feelings of turmoil that can make life extremely difficult. While quiet BPD is not an official diagnosis, the use of this term denotes a subtype of BPD that tends to turn symptoms inward rather than outward (which makes it less obivious). As a result of this, quiet BPD often tends to go undiagnosed, misdiagnosed as something else (eg depression, social anxiety, autism), or takes longer to diagnose because of the lack of classic symptoms.

​​​@@ranc1977sounds like I have all 9 signs 😢. What does BPD stand for?

@@upbeyond671 Borderline personality disorder. In faulty CBT (therapy which studies personality disorders) there is a wrong description of borderline disorder. It is described as narcissistic, loud screaming Karen. While in reality there are many spectrum subtypes such as Quiet BPD: which is social anxiety. We shut up, we are silent, we fawn, we are pushovers, we self censor ourselves, we live in fears and panic mode all the time and we are convinced that we are abnormal for having these trauma symptoms which toxic society and video like this one explain away as being cowards, sissy, feminine, weak. Society is lying to us, they are feeding us with wrong explanations and we stay stuck in Quiet BPD as the result of toxic society. Google it. Education is our only (legal) weapon against psychopaths who keep us trapped in panic mode and self blame and self pathologizing mode.

Borderline Personality Disorder, but i wouldn't recommend self diagnosing psychological isses on the internet. It is recommended to contact a professional.

He is not helping at all - he is teaching narcissism and to become hysterical and Karen. Fake and annoying person.

Hope things will get better. Sometimes wishing for that "better tomorrow" helps ease things

You've tried TRT?

The only way is too push forward. What has helped me ALOT was solo travelling. It was the most scariest thing I have ever done at first. But as soon as I stepped on that place and went to an hostel where i noticed and learned how many people are alike and just like me. You are not alone. Go out there and be your self. If someone doesn't like you or no one likes you for your self than they are not worthy of your attention. Choose what you want to do and become in life and pursue that all the while being your self. Go out there bro don't give up. I still from time too time struggle a bit but i always remind my self that most have some form of anxiety or are scared of judgement and push trough.

@@Vel_Plays_2.0 no, it is something I’ve thought about but I’ve never tried it. Im only 24 and i don’t think my value is low enough to get a prescription.

@@gamegamesnldegameszijnop I struggle so much with “being myself” because so many years have passed where I have, at least in front of others, been this fake, anxious version of myself that I don’t even know what my “true self” is. It seems my brain doesn’t allow me access to it except for sometimes when I’m alone I feel it from time to time. I hope I’m making sense with that. The solo travel idea is a very good one. It’s something I haven’t really explored

He's not a kid, he's a man!

Lobotomy and dissociation, toxic masculinity - the quickest way to handle social anxiety is to become abuser and jerk and narcissist.

@@ranc1977 you said toxic masculinity - all of your credibility is gone.

@@coaiemandushman1079 Living in your delusions is your own choice and nothing I can say can snap you back to real life, reality.

@@coaiemandushman1079 Grammar Nazi.

Quiet BPD.

@@ranc1977 what? Never crossed my mind, I should look into that, it might fit me. If so, thank you. After looking into it, BPD doesn't seem to fit me.

​@@radioktiver_boomerang Yes. We are not being told crucial information about Social anxiety - such as Complex Trauma, ACoA, RSD and Quiet BPD , HSP. Then we get stuck with Julien-type toxic videos where we are explained that we are weak coward sissy feminine freaks that must become screaming Viking Karen lunatic. Learn more about : We didn't know until recently that c-PTSD is an injury to your brain and nervous system. And a lot of therapist and clinical professionals still don't know this. YT Crappy Childhood Fairy Preferring toughness, the culture sees our trait as something difficult to live with, something to be cured. HSPs differ mainly in their sensitive processing of subtle stimuli. This is your most basic quality." The Highly Sensitive Person, Elaine N. Aron Symptoms of Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (when criticism hurts) - Being easily embarrassed - Heightened fear of failure - Unrealistically high expectations for self - Assuming people don't like you - Avoiding social settings - Perfectionistic tendencies What triggers RSD? Everyone's RSD triggers are different, but they may include: - being rejected or thinking you're being rejected, like not getting a response to a text message or email - a sense of falling short or failing to meet your own high standards or others' expectations - being criticized for something you can't control Characteristics of Adult Children of Alcoholics - struggles with maintaining interpersonal relationships - struggles with codependency - impulsive or dangerous behaviors - anxiety and hypervigilance - fear of abandonment - conflict avoidance/fear of conflict - constantly seeking approval - struggles with authority figures - poor communication - struggles with emotional regulation - poor self-esteem and self-image, or constantly feeling "different" 9 Signs if Quiet BDP 1. You are calm on the outside but suffer on the inside 2. You have a high need for control, and hate uncertainty 3. You withdraw from people and shut down very easily 4. You mentally retreat or dissociate, as coping mechanism 5. You have an unclear sense of self, resulting in low self-esteem 6. You always blame yourself for everything, and self sabotage a lot 7. You avoid conflicts and anger at all cost, and check yourself as not to offend anyone 8. You are extremely fearful of both abandonment and intimacy 9. You look 'perfect' from the outside, but deep down inside you keep on isolating yourself more - Quiet BPD subtype Also known as High-Functioning BPD One of the subtypes of BPD, people living with "quiet" or "discouraged borderline" live in extreme emotional turmoil because they don't show their distress. - not easily detectable - those with the disorder often struggle alone because they feel like a burden - common people-pleasing behavior - withdraw when upset - feel detached from the world to cope - fear of rejection and abandonment - fear of being alone - social anxiety and self isolation (Healthline, 2020) ; thebrightbabe - QuietBPD A person living with quiet BPD will typically internalize their emotions, which creates invisible feelings of turmoil that can make life extremely difficult. While quiet BPD is not an official diagnosis, the use of this term denotes a subtype of BPD that tends to turn symptoms inward rather than outward (which makes it less obivious). As a result of this, quiet BPD often tends to go undiagnosed, misdiagnosed as something else (eg depression, social anxiety, autism), or takes longer to diagnose because of the lack of classic symptoms. - These are all interchangeable: RSD (Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria) = Social anxiety = Emotional Dysregulation = Complex Trauma = Toxic shame = After-effects of ACoA & ACE = After-effects of narcissistic abuse, emotional abuse, psychological abuse, mental abuse = Hypervigilance/hypovigilance = PureOCD = Unfavorable power dynamics = Trauma response = Trauma bonding = Neurodivergence = Spectrum, not binary thinking = Amygdala hijacking = Trauma triggers and flashbacks = being criticized for something you can't control = having high moral and ethical standards and enforcing them = someone random complains about our errors when we done superhuman efforts to avoid ALL mistakes which 98.5% percent of people never invest neither physically nor mentally = toxic person complaining and expecting us to know something for the first time without mistakes = Perfectionism = Protesting: someone toxic complaining without fair assessment and basing their protest on bias and prejudice and oversimplification = Protesting: to express OUR OWN judgement and negative evaluation and holding criminals narcissists accountable for their crimes and hidden selfish agenda of exploiting others = Not conforming = Conforming (fawning) to unreasonable standards and neurotypical norms = Conforming to narcissistic abuser and psychopath who would punish us if we don't conform to their Coercive control, hidden agenda and manipulation and pathological lying = Being authentic true speaking the truth to fake people and toxic people who have hidden covert agenda to exploit others = being Agreeable (Big 5 personality trait) = being Open (Big 5 personality trait) = Being Neurotic (Big 5 personality trait) = being healthy, friendly and open to life and people = Attachment issues = Codependency = Listening to our gut feeling = Quiet BPD (PureBPD) = BPD Splitting

Adult children of alcoholics did the best they could do to survive as children. Their behaviors, coping skills and personalities were shaped by chaos and trauma. As adults their inner child is still exiled and terrified lead to compensatory. 🟥Doc Snipes Sooner or later, if they are to be healed, they must learn that the entirety of one's adult life is a series of personal choices, decisions. M. Scott Peck We don't realize as adults that we are now capable of meeting our needs so we don't need these advanced strategies for keeping people close. Pink cloud: We want all things that go well in our life to continue and new things on top of that. 🟥Heidi Priebe It is considered advantageous in society. School likes it better when children are traumatized. Other people, other adults, society can like the child better when they develop this “persona”. “This is healthy, this is better person”. 🟥Daniel Mackler Being an adult means having options. We can push back against bullies, move away when it gets too much, and tell other people what we need from them. Hypervigilance and How to Overcome It YT The School of Life 'Having someone mad at you/being misunderstood.' We are adults now. We don't need to give toxic people the power to tell us who we are. YT Patrick Teahan LICSW Our parents didn't see us as children. Toxic parents see their kids as selfish adults who are making choices at their expense, which is super messed up. YT 6 Unknown Childhood Trauma Triggers It’s easy to take advice from wealthy, wellknown people who seem to have their shit together. The things that privileged selfhelp authors need to overcome their troubles don’t cut it for most of us. Money, power, prestige allow people to be oblivious to the inner lives of others "How to draw an owl" karlastarr.substack The devil loves unspoken secrets. Especially those that fester in a man's soul. Herman Melville Of all the preposterous assumptions of humanity over humanity, nothing exceeds most of the criticisms made on the habits of the poor by the well-housed, well-warmed and well-fed. Herman Melville (August 1, 1819 - September 28, 1891) Things autistic people get judged for - Asking in-depth questions on a content area that get perceived as challening the authority - Working harder than expected on tasks and projects can get perceived as "brown-nosing" or "being weird" - Asking clarifying questions to understand what is being said to them - Over-explaning in an effort to be understood and out of anxiety of not getting their thoughts across clearly - Being focused on a task and not on chatting/socializing - Caring deeply about the quality of work they produce and giving in their full effort Yulika Forman, PhD, LHMC

@@jessemartin1876 Maybe we could start to validate our emotions and feelings instead of putting ourselves down? How about that radical revolutionary idea? Self validation. Self acceptance. Not shaming ourselves.

Sounds like a classic confidence issue. People bully insecure people who don't put up a fight. Confident people get hired because that's what recruiters see. Fake it till you make it

@@tescobakery1927 "Confident people get hired because " Because toxic society thinks that being confident means being competent. This is what is happening in Balkan in Eastern Europe - people get hired because they are abusive and narcissistic. Then Balkan Europe is avoided by foreign investors since they know there is corruption and that they will be devoured by predators who are incompetent and basically stupid and that they must bribe the police and judge to handle the crime there. Toxic corporations too - poisoning the planet because monsters in charge do not have empathy. Dunning Krueger tells us that super-confident people are stupid, while those with imposter syndrome are competent. The question is - are your life goals to work for criminals and sell yourself for few bucks more and to abuse other people?

Keep trying man. I'm rooting for you.

😂

so wild how women HATE cat calling but men love it 😂

😂😂😂😂😂

they were being sarcastic.

You don’t know that

He did amazing, yes! Massive respect to him! 👊

I'm the same way bro. Just now i did that exact same thing typing this comment.

"People expect the quiet one to adapt to the loud people but not the other way around"

​@@ranc1977yeah, the loud people are the correct ones. if you want to be a buzzkill, stay home.

@@mrosskne you cant just stay at home and die. Even if you want to. What you are saying is the exact thing quiet people are afraid of and that will make them even more quiet.

@@DarkCor38744 good.

He is teaching people to develop narcissism, hysteria and to become Karen.

​@@ranc1977by that logic everything can be bad if gone to extreme, but his advice taken with a grain of salt helps the introverts' self esteem. You can't say everything he does is bad, he has some good points.

@@fosminclorin "helps the introverts' self esteem" No it doesn't. What he is teaching is Masking. Dissociation. Making anxiety Functional. All these three concepts lead to mental illness. With Masking - introvert is taught the lesson that their brain is abnormal and it must be hidden away from light and exposure. This leads to toxic shame. More anxiety. Dissociation when we decide to shift focus from our natural neurodivergent brain operations into fantasy that we are screaming at others at whim. -this will end up as being anti-social and isolated from others. More anxiety. Making anxiety Functional means becoming zombie, background character without own preferences and desires and goals in life. More anxiety. We need to have negative and difficult emotions - this tells us when someone pushes our boundaries and when we are being hurt by unfair actions of others. Why is it so hard to validate and accept ourselves as we are? From early age, anyone who is slightly introverted will be mocked and ashamed by society. Toxic society needs fixing - not our brain. Toxic society lacks education in diversity and acceptance of anything that appears different than the norm. If we are not serial killers - why on earth you would decide it is healthy to nitpick and fix your brain? As if you are a mass murderer! Carl Jung | Psychology and Philosophy 🧠, TWITTER: The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely. Defend Survivors, TWITTER: Survivors don’t need anyone else telling them what the ‘should do’ or ‘have to do’ to heal. The last thing they need is someone else trying to control them again. Survivors need to know they are in control and that they are the experts in their experience and healing. Defend Survivors, TWITTER: There are so many “positive” messages that are aimed to inspire and help survivors. But when you really listen to these messages, they often guilt or blame survivors for either how they responded to the abuse, or for how they are healing now. Make sure the messages you share with survivors are honoring and respecting them, their courage, and their choices.

You can never go wrong being your true self, warts and all. People will tune into you on a different level entirely, one that you could never achieve putting on even the "coolest", most perfect front you could construct.

@kieranwhite4856 Post the rest! Seems like a good list

What and how are you doing all that? I need to know, my college life is starting n I'm shitting my pants! Pls I need to know

Screaming at other people is not authentic - it is personality disorder.

It is presentation of Dissociation and Dysfunctional ego defense mechanisms.

Same same same !

Agreed! Massive respect to him for having the courage and willingness to do the work! 🔥👊

I think there is always growth somewhere for everyone. I think the most important thing is being comfortable at the life you really want to live. That’s my goal at least. And from there you can always grow more in other directions

Why would he do that? This is his thing. Lol.

Don't try to show. Just focus more on your perspective of the topic. It need not be accurate.

He's also a comedian so I am sure he has

There’s a clip of Julian doing stand up comedy in a bar, where all his jokes fell flat. Tough crowd. He uses this as one of his examples in one of his conferences.

If you follow Julien advice - you are seeing others as superior and yourself as inferior. When we put others as a measure about our worth - that we must scream and be narcissistic - we are placing other people as our measure - we will become depended on other people's reaction and approval and validation.

​@@ranc1977 i think the messege was we need stop self-sabotaging ourselves into misery and not being able to function.

@@tearex8688 " i think the messege was we need stop self-sabotaging ourselves into misery and not being able to function." Well flash news - nobody can stop sabotaging themselves by developing toxic shame and toxic masculinity and narcissism. Creating fake image of Viking will end up as narcissism and mental illness. Hating your weaknesses leads to mental illness and personality disorder. Look: Deficiency motivation doesn't work. It will lead to a life-long pursuit of try to fix me. Learn to appreciate what you have and where and who you are. Wayne Dyer "Any attempt to dictate what thoughts, feelings, and sensations are proper or improper creates a breeding ground for guilt and shame" Peter Levine Carl Rogers: “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself, just as I am, then I can change.”

Nice! Enjoy! 🙌

" she's never seen someone heal from anxious attachment so quickly" Perhaps because she is unexperienced newbie -- or because she is really a bad therapist?

@@ranc1977 She is not a newbie and specializes in attachment and PTSD. She is also clearly a very professional therapist given just how helpful she was to me and how easily she knew what I needed to process, when. I simply said what I said because I feel very proud of myself for my own work in healing from anxious attachment and it brings me joy to talk about it at this point in time, since my attachment issues have been holding me back in life. Take care stranger ♡

@@talithahope4779 My comment got automatically deleted by Julien filter algorithm. When we receive the wrong information and half information by quacks and fake people who are not experts at all but narcissistically present themselves as superior and strong - it is domino effect to wrong decisions, to making wrong decisions in life and usually t self pathology and self blame.

" surprised me for their solid psychological foundation" He uses 10% of psychology. The quickest way to destroy social anxiety is to become narcissists - hysterical screaming person who is made to believe in his own grandiosity and superiority over others. This is personality disorder and it leads to abuse and crime. Social anxiety is not sickness - it is alarm system that we are detecting toxic and fake people.

"People expect the quiet one to adapt to the loud people but not the other way around"

That is the core problem - there is nothing to work on at all. You are not sick. You are not abnormal. You are not defect. Think more of it like skinning of onion layers to come to the core. If you believe you must improve and become fake and "strong" - this leads to fake persona, narcissism.

In a way, he is selling time share. NArcissistic fantasy of granduer and self improvement.

You’re welcome! Glad this was helpful! 🙏

"People expect the quiet one to adapt to the loud people but not the other way around"

He is teaching empaths to become narcissistic and violent and dangerous. And you thank him?

@@ranc1977 how?

EXPLAIN PLEASE @@ranc1977

The thing that happened to you? It happened to me too! :D The realisation that nobody gives a fuck...

I've watched many of Juliens videos and that's what stuck with me the most. People don't care about me. My entire life I've always felt that everybody is looking at me, judging me, but that is not at all true. It's a relief to know that.

"100% of people are in their own heads at the end of the day. Even if someone judges me, their judgement doesn't last more than a few minutes" This is not true at all. Narcissists think all the time - they are predators. They abuse others and think how to be evil to others. Socially anxious empaths and HSPs will attract narcissists. So yeah - other people are toxic and evil - there is nothing sick inside your brain that must demand brainwashing and convincing yourself that your alarm signals are malfunctioning. Lobotomy is not necessary - you will only develop toxic shame when you suppress your natural instincts and common sense and gut feelings. There are toxic and evil people out there -and we have ability to sense and detect them due to exposure to ACoA in childhood - which gave us ability to detect toxic people quickly, hence social anxiety.

Becoming hysterical screaming Karen is not authentic . it is rigid mindset and mental illness and narcissism,

​@@godspeed4390 "he wont lose his “coolness” for being loud, or himself, he will stop being “cool” the moment he stops being real/himself." If you check out the medical description of Personality disorder - it is inability to regulate yourself in social situations. "I also don’t understand why you’re on every comment " So now you are stalking me? If you don't like my comments - skip it. Enjoy your delusions, your life your choices. " but you sound more like a karen than anyone else." You sound like primadonna Karen yourself.

@@godspeed4390 "People expect the quiet one to adapt to the loud people but not the other way around" In society if you have behavior that is much healthier than a commonly accepted delusion, you're gonna probably be called crazy. 🟥 Daniel Mackler When people told me “Let it go, move on”, “Don't focus on the negative” is these were people who were pretty dissociated. Really strongly disconnected from dealing with the painful things that happened to them. I had to be under the authority of people who didn't really treat me well. The way I survived was by letting it go, trying to be positive, put on a happy face, be “normal”, not talk about painful stuff, not grieve. 🟥 Daniel Mackler

Children who feel unloved and unprotected try to please others, give to others, and care for others in a desperate hope that they may make themselves worthy. 🟦Beverly Engel

How did he "changed your life"? Is this a cult now?

@@ranc1977😹😹😹

@@ranc1977no offense but why do u take the time to reply in every single comment people give in this video with random bs and copy paste quotes from internet?

@@cerberus8054 Because information given to us is BS and we are not told the real truth about social anxiety. It seems as BS to you because you do not have social anxiety at all. You have narcissism and impulsive BPD which you interpret as social anxiety. All the rest of us are abused by people like you and we self blame ourselves and we think we are sissy and abnormal and sick and that our brain is weak and feminine. While in reality it is abusers like you who are projecting abnormality into our brain through projection.

​@@cerberus8054he's just a Julien hater it seems

What's most personal is most universal... 🙏

Sometimes i forget to blink when im anxious

Yet in the same time Sweden is prosperous and civilized country with high moral and ethical standards. At the Balkans there is opposite mentality - to stand out, to not care about other people, to push others and to abuse them and that other people are not worthy. Look the economy and statistics and quality of life there. It is not healthy nor sane to be narcissistic, evil predator devoid of empathy.

He crushed it, yes! 🙌

He is not authentic at all. He is insensitive. Big difference. Authentic person would be vulnerable and accept what herd mentality labels as "shyness". He is afraid of being shy and vulnerable and weak - so he builds fake mask of narcissism and superiority - which is not authentic at all - it is rigid mindset. Any rigid thinking is polarizing and it leads to mental illness - and it destroys contact with other people.

You're so welcome! Glad this resonates! 🙏