Hey guys! I just wanted to share some wisdom from experience with pursuing a girl in a Godly manner. I am currently pursuing a girl at the moment and one thing I have learned is that your emotions will deceive you! It is natural for us as men to have an emotional bond with a women but those emotions will not keep you together, only seeking God will! I constantly have to seek God when it comes to the young lady that I have come to love through loving God and to properly approach her heart with same heart that Jesus has for us. It took alot of prayer and breaking off pride to get to a point where no matter what the future may hold for us in God's will I will pursue this girl with a heart to love on her regardless if we get together or not. It sounds crazy but that's the kind of heart Jesus had when he died for us. He didn't do it for any gain of his own but because he loved us so much he died for us. We as Godly men must swallow our pride and pursue our women with a heart selflessness. Yall be blessed man.
Undefeated, that was some great wisdom man! I pray God's best blessings on you as your pursue this young lady. Thank you for sharing this wisdom with the community.
Correct sir. Love her spiritually first continually like you are doing. She is your sister in Christ (she is important to God as you are to God)she needs prayer, encouragement, and keep the Lord on your lips when you talk to her. Keep her drawing closer to God.
+Dwayne CHance I'm do glad you said that because God has been showing me lately how he has been using her to sharpen me in my walk in a way that she does not even notice she is doing. But I completely agree that I need to keep the Lord on my lips when it comes to her because if I weren't pursuing the heart of Jesus I would have never been able to pursue her this far.
Everyday I pray for God to bring a godly Christian man that loves the Lord above all things into my life. Its just so difficult... not being pursued by real Christian men. Worldly men will have no qualms coming up and talking, asking for my number...yet I know in my heart that these men are not what I want... I don't want a smoking, blaspheming, worldly man. Im 30, have no children and really allowing the Lord to work on me to become a godly woman. I take care of my body and appearance(watch what I eat and exercise), I take care of my mind( I read, study and apply Gods word and especially on topics of being godly woman). This has been the toughest struggle of my life(the loneliness, the thoughts about rejecting worldly men and thinking what if thats all thats there for me and I will end up alone)...I have to cast down these thoughts, reminding myself of Gods word and not being unequally yoked. I want to please and honour the Lord in all I do so Id rather be alone then with a man that does not love and live for the Lord.
Liv Louw and here's the thing when a woman types a message like this that they are looking for a man. a man shows up and types back a message genuinely saying that he's interested in going out with a girl and they rejected the guy. after all that the woman typed about they are looking for a man one comes and they reject them, its kinda Hippocritical if you ask me but this isn't direct to you I meant to other woman who type like the same message you type and a man finds a girl and is genuine and the get rejected and they didn't even give them a chance.
You sound just like me when I was single. I married when I was 33, after years of committing and recommitting this area to God. I will pray for you. God has good plans for you.
So true! I am happily married to a godly man now, but really struggled in my single years with guys who weren't intentional, and never followed through. Very hurtful. This message is vital.
Thanks for the advice, I'm friends with a woman I'm interested in. It seems she is interested in me too. I've been waiting for the Lord's timing. I've also tried to not listen to the world saying you're in the friend zone. I don't want to just date a woman, because it's just a option. I want to date a woman because I want to get married, and date a godly woman because I'm considering marriage to her!
Ty I apologize for not responding sooner. So glad you are dating specifically for marriage. I believe that's what we as Christians should be doing. Proud of you bro!
I concur. We should treat all Christian women that way. Treat them like sisters in Christ not mess over their temples or bring add'l drama. The one that we are favored by God to marry is a friend at one point. Recently I visited my lady friend's church because I said I would come visit again (you said consistency) and I have met her sister, her niece, and her aunt the 1st time that she talks about from time to time. My old female Christian friends told this is a serious and special moment that just happen. Good women will say and do things that would never happen if we as men rush the process that God intends
Again spot on. Since I have been single for 7 years. This is a new approach for pursuing a godly woman. Which I have never done, but my heart always desires that. Which requires to look at women differently. Asking God for guidance. Great video Brother Parr
I think it is important when we are in friendships with the opposite gender to guard our hearts. I was recently friends with someone who indicated that he liked me and I was really praying about it, but suddenly he just got into a relationship with another girl. He really hurt me. I pray and ask that all brothers in Christ would be careful with how they treat their sisters--caring for their hearts and not leading them into false hope (if they aren't interested in a relationship). I know sisters in Christ should do the same but men are the pursuers in this area.
How long did you take to give him an answer? Lots of times when women say "maybe" or "let me think/pray about it," that's just a soft way of saying "no." Especially if a woman told me that and still hadn't given me an answer in a week, I would just assume that the answer was "no," and move on. If I then met another woman who gave me an enthusiastic "yes," then I would happily pursue her instead. Sounds like that's what happened, so he moved on and found a woman that was excited to pursue a relationship with him. Did you expect him to be exclusive with you when you weren't even sure whether you would go on one date with him?
Sounds like you took way too long, a large portion of that pain is entirely your fault. The man chooses who he wants to be with at the end of the day, just like the woman can call off the relationship at any moment. Seriously, don't hesitate when a Godly man asks you with full intention of getting to know you better specifically for marriage.
+Kellen Mullinnix Thank you so much Kellen! And thank you for subscribing. This is a relatively new channel (August 2015). If you're looking for more content to help with spiritual growth I encourage you to head to my website www.allenparr.com. Have a great evening!
In the modern day dating / relationship no one wants to be there to remain pure anymore brother Many years I've also dealt with loose men so to speak.Now thank God I have a man who Respects my moral values.
Amen!!!!!!!...and I say "Amen!!! again! Where was this information about 30 years ago when I started dating...LOL! This is some powerful teaching Allen! Both men and women should understand that everytime a person sleeps with another person they are creating "soul ties" to that person. Soul ties that are hard to break especially if the relationship is based solely on sex. You are right on point with abstaining from sexual contact until there is a commitment...and the commitment being "marriage". Thanks for sharing Allen!
Subscribed recently. I am trying to follow the Christian Path. And it feels right. I appreciate your videos. Much love from Botswana. That's in Southern Africa ;)....just in case you didn't know...
THE BEAT by Allen Parr that's hectic. I am born and raised in Botswana. My mother is from Botswana but My father is Nigerian. Yoroba Nigerian to be precise. Anyways God bless and keep the videos coming. Really helpful on my path. to.be
Physical- emotional- spiritual bonds brother amen. For the single men, be aware keep being proactive in getting rid of ways of temptation. Don’t deceive your self and play with the fire. For those who have friends or brothers who are believers and are just hanging out but are in the open range of temptation and justify their situation. Pray and be an open ear and be that iron to sharpen them
Thank you for making this video. I used to think about relationships a lot, but I was at a prayer breakfast recently and the discussion we had made me realize that sometimes the things our hearts desire most might not actually be good for us. Marriage is something I have thought about my entire life, but I wasn't saved until recently. I watched this video out of curiosity, but I do understand that if God so chooses to bless me with a wife, I have a lot of growing to do first. I need to be faithful with the little things first. I have accepted the fact that I may never be blessed with a wife, but I wanted to watch this video just in case a woman should come into my life that I might want to pursue. I'm glad I found your channel. It's given me a lot to think about, but I can clearly see now that instead of focusing on things that I want for myself, I need to put my focus on God and what God wants for me and what God expects from me.
Your advice on letting the ones she holds most dear in her life aware of your intentions, is a very awesome approach. My question is for my example is a woman I want to court holds her father most dear. I don’t know him personally but how would I go about letting him know of my intentions as a guy he doesn’t know from his perspective?
Thank-you for doing this video a lot of Christian want to know I am sure how to pursue a godly woman and this is how to go about it ,if all else fails ask questions find out what is important to her ,pursue her the way she wants to be pursued she is not trying to make it difficult she just knows her worth!
Hey my friend, while I do not encourage going to church for the purpose of scouting out Single women, I do think that this is probably one of the best places to go defined Great Christian women. But I have the same issue that you did. I waited until I was 40 years old until I got married. A lot of the women either had children or have a lot of baggage. But God truly blessed me with an amazing wife in his timing. I trust that he will do the same for you in his timing.
Captain Awesome I’m a 28 year old Christian woman and I feel like everyoneeeee in already married or in a relationship. It’s so hard to find single people!!
Thanks, Allen great insight. Finding a Godly woman is so important. It is one of the most important decisions you can make in your life and it will affect you for a lifetime. GREAT ADVISE.
Good video. Sound advice. Thanks for clearing up that the bible doesn't deal with dating per say. It only deals with principles of friendship and marriage. Both people have to be intentional and communicate what they want
@@jordyhitty I think it just depends on the couple. You'll avoid so much temptation to do more if u wait. Me, I kiss my bf all the time. I think it'd have been cool if we had waited for engagement. It would make it more special. Idk lol
@@brooketaylor8560 well I get that, but I think GIFs gift to us when were married is sex, and if you don't do it before then, it would feel like a great accomplishment. It depends on the couple for sure. But if you can handle kissing as bf and gf then I think it's fine ahha
Brother Allen been trying to date women on the websites Christian websites. And brother I wish your wife can put out a video to the women how to pursue a man.
Once again Allen, you hit the nail on the head. Everything I’m feeling, you covered. Thank you so much for these videos. They have been a blessing to me. 🙏🏾
God bless you brother. Right now I want you to know I've been trying to date women for the past six or seven years. Been married several times marriage fail
Bruh, tell me, what did you find to be the common factors in the marriage failing? I personally don’t think of a marriage that may not have work like we planned a failure.
Brother I am sick and tired of discouraged of today's women.a lot of women tell me they seeking for a god-fearing man that live for God in Christ guess what they don't know how to treat them.
Your not wrong. Good men get treated harshly, by the wrong woman. The problem is we as men, get hurt, we get protective of our hearts, and end up changing due to the pain. Modern woman have basically killed "the good man". The harsh reality is, that men adapt. So we have adapted to these types of woman, thus making bad men.
Brother Allen the remind you I'm not egotistical. Or conceited I'm not a bad looking man. God brought me from a long way brother Allen. I hope to hear from you soon brother cuz I need help. And I'm not getting any younger
I am going to be clear. Where does it say a Preist is important in our lives including between god and our relationship with him? We sort out our salvation with god not a preist period.
I would love to hear more on this subject. I have trouble even getting a date let alone keeping her interested in me. I was dating a woman. We went on two dates, and suddenly she tells me that she never saw me as more than a friend, and made my intentions known to her the first time we went out. I mite add that I am disabled, and have been pursuing women for years. I am 27 and have only had two girlfriends. I can not get it through women's heads that I am not going to have sex with them until after we get married, but then they are going to go get some sex somewhere else, and I do not want to be with a woman that has a bunch of different men's DNA in her blood. I guess you can also say that I am emotionally damaged. My first girlfriend was cheating on me from day one. She was horrible to me.
@@lovelyrayy5492 Thanks I appreciate it . God's healing hand and outstreched arm are always guiding my path . I can plan my way but God directs my steps . I am a disabled man so IDK if God has a wife planned for my future . I am happy with where God leads me .
I have been doing these things while begging God for a wife for nearly two decades. The only response I can see can only be categorized as either indifference or mockery. This has the dual effect of lessening my ability to rely on God and lowering my already very low self esteem. During the twenty years that I have been enduring this, I have done all that I know to pursue God. Seeing others around me have seemingly no struggle finding significant others while I cannot make any headway gives the lie to "Ask and it shall be given, knock and the door shall be opened". Also, I have heard the phrase "God's timing" so much that it is now offensive to me, as it is nothing more than a shallow attempt to cover God's failure to live up to His word in my life. Two decades of my life spent serving God only to see others recieve my most desperate plea and live out my most desired life while I am left behind makes me feel like the unwanted child in the house of the Lord.
You're too desperate for a woman. Your desperation may be sensed through the women you pursue and that may serve as a turn off. If women can be the cause for the lessening of your faith, can you see why you better off without one? What if you go through a breakup, would you then become an atheist? Set your priorities straight, because it seems like a woman is right there at the top of your list. God does not lie. The bible says "ask and it shall be given" but the bible also says that God gives "good things" and he answers prayers only if it's in his will. I'm not God but from my perspective, I can see why he hasn't given you one yet. You've made women have an impact on your faith. That should not be the case. I am a single guy, a one that's way younger than you. I've asked God to reveal to me who my wife is and I dont think I got my answer. I've asked him for so long.. but that does not impact my faith. I've asked God for several women and I never got any of them(i saw why by the way, they were corrupt) I've been through a place where I thought a woman was a blessing from God to be my wife but I ended up being heartbroken by her, I was mad at God and i said words i wish i never said, such as never including him in my life when it came to women(still heartbroken till this day). Dont be that type of person. You aren't in the state to have a woman if you behaving like this and saying such words. Allen Parr didn't get a wife until he was 40, people in the bible waited that long or longer. Seek God first, and all these things will be added to you if it's in his will for you. The day you became a Christian is the day you chose to serve and live for God. He decides whether or not you end up having one... and his will is the best will for you. Jeremiah served God and he was told to not have a wife. Paul didn't have a wife. Most likely the reason were for them to focus on God and serve him. I used to be desperate for a wife, but I'm no longer desperate because I know who do I live for at the end of the day. I know my purpose and plan to do it. I suggest you do the same. And another thing. Women aren't attracted to you needing them. Focus on your purpose, they are here to help and support you in your life, not make themselves your main focus, they'll lose that attraction if you do so, You'll probably wont have one.. or have one then lose her if you do so. And marriage is not that important. It's not going to last for eternity. But your relationship with God should. I understand as humans we got a desire to be with others but believe me when I say losing your trust/faith over a desire for a woman is not worth it at all.
@@thabanimabaso67 having read your reply, I am not sure that my point/argument was (or can be) fully articulated. I know and will always believe that God is out there, and that He loves the collective "us" as in humanity. I am nearly 40 years old, and in my experience, what or whom God chooses to bless His followers with is just as random and arbitrary as what and whom those outside of His followers are blessed. My constant, every single day prayer has not only been ignored, but people that I have no attraction to whatsoever have shown interest in me. At the same time I see atheists granted with my deepest desire throw those things away like trash. We as Christians are supposed to trust God for everything in life as a child trusts their parents. God has proven time and again that He is not that interested in me or whether I follow Him or not. I made all of the correct moves, going to college, not having sex with those that offer it (I have turned it down even though I desperately wanted it), giving both time and money to the church, etc... The gifts that God has given to me I am very thankful for, but they are mostly material and I am kept alone. Having nice things is wonderful, but it is still lonely. When you ask for, work for, and rely on your parents for "a" and they reward the work with "q", which is nice but completely removed from "a", that lowers your ability to trust them when they say that they will give you what you want if you ask. I will still follow and worship God, even though I cannot trust Him and I feel like a moron for doing it.
@@thabanimabaso67 very well said 👏👏👏🤝. I remember i broke up a relationship because the guy was in love with me more than with God, and he used to confirm it loudly ! Can you imagine that? He was saying he can't love a creature he doesn't physically see! Rather he preferred me than God. I ran away ASAP.
Maybe it's because you're out here commenting about how sad your life is instead of working on yourself? God already answered your prayers. You just don't accept His answer
God Bless you for providing Godly wisdom and sound instruction. Here's my question, if the courtship ends, should the man then go back to the person that he spoke with and let them know the relationship has ended?
this really gave me alot of in sight. If you can could you make a video as to how a Godly husband should talk to His wife especially dealing with putting your foot down and being a strong man for her. I hear so much of the world say women like a man that knows how to take control and that can lead I just need more insight on that.
What about being romanic towards a woman like buying her flowers, opening doors for her, and telling her that she is beautiful? I find this missing in many Christian men I have dated, a real turn off.
Worldly man pursue women it's dangerous to tell a godly woman if she is not pursue she is not wanted. be teaching this she will end up marrying the wrong person its a teaching of this world not God. seek first the kingdom of god, and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you. ' Matthew 6:33'
I love you and your educational videos, Allen...but...when that average of 1.3 came up, I burst out laughing. 1.3 times a week is GOLD! 😂. I'm just imagining a guy saying, I had relations with my wife once this week! Wooo! 0.3 To go! Awwwe yeeeah! (Puts on Barry White) 💁💃
I want to ask. Why are you Christian and not a Catholic? I am interested to know of the differences and why one chooses to follow one over the other. thanks
Catholicism is a heresy, that is why. They believe in praying to people and to marry to intercede to god. Thats not what the bible says. Jesus said he is the only way. Catholics dont understand that. Also they put the pope on this high pedestal that he is not, he is just a person. The current pope is an evil man.
Mike Wingers has made very clear not judging videos about the differences. It's not the right way to oppose 2 religions but to seek what the Bible says about God, Jesus, His redemption work and faith. I was a catholic and I became a real believer after searching God for Himself. What did He want for me ? He put people on my path and answered my deepest questions thru His word. Keep searching Him. God bless you in Jesus Name ! 🙏🙏🙏
Woman these days are not pure neither are man because they both have done suxual things before marriage its very hard to find a woman or man pure intantions a wants to have a serious relationship.
Hey, but there's repentance and change. If you're not willing to forgive and look past their mistakes even after God has changed them and transformed them into new creation, then you're going to have a hard time looking for that perfect and virgin women out there. I know there are out there, but you have to look deep and hey anything is possible with God. Just believe and trust him and you'll see. Our father does amazing thing and Miracles at the right time.
And people you say you looking in all the wrong places.guess what brother Allen I'm looking in the church I thought seeking of God friend woman in the church were all the right places.
Um... I feel like the terms physical contact should be clear here. There should be no sex before marriage how would only kissing make a woman think he just wants me for my body? What is happening?
Hey, thanks for the video. You said about making your intentions crystal clear, that I want to date her. Could you expound a bit on that? like, how and when it is to be done? cuz the wrong way or time can do the opposite or get you friendzoned. How do you take things to the next level, i.e., let her know that you want to be serious with her, date her and marry her and not just look like everyone else in the church, and be just a friend. How do you get to being the boyfriend from friend without ruinging it. Also, one more question, cuz there's not many rescources on christian dating. Where do you spend time together with her. cuz, for example, in the church or a prayer meeting, etc, she will be with her family and other people who know her, so she may not be very comfortable to be very open to you or give you a lot of time. Thanks.
Unfortunately it's so hard to find real Christian men with principles and character. I'm single after 20 yrs of marriage and many "Christian" men have tried me like it's some sort of game to have sex. Using "Chrristianity and marriage" as weapons to disarm women. It's a sick game out here nowadays. I'm still keeping the faith but I don't even say I'm Christian anymore and just watch men's actions. Be safe ladies. I have ran across only two decent Christian men in the past two years. Muslim men seem to be doing a little better with holding to the principles of waiting for marriage. I'm hoping things get better out here.
