Join the Modern Wisdom Community - modernwisdom.locals.com/. Here’s the timestamps: 00:00 Intro 00:40 How Does Dopamine Work? 10:27 Why Men Feel Sad After Sex 20:20 Dopamine Detox Truths 24:48 How Social Media Impacts Dopamine Levels 31:40 Which People are More Likely to Become Addicted? 37:45 Preventing Addiction Through Purpose 43:55 Utilising Discomfort to Rebalance Dopamine 50:37 Anna’s Tips to Control Dopamine 1:02:49 Where to Find Anna
That quote is not a concise as the author or you think it is. I haven’t read the book, but not knowing what type of person he’s talking about, I can respond to that with “When man couldn’t find meaning, man invented religion.” Religion is the opposite of pleasure. If we’re just talking about some average dude who fails to understand what it is to be a responsible adult or has mental issues or had an unstable upbringing, then I can see how lots of these cases resort to “pleasure”….assuming pleasures here mean the kind that leads to addictive behavior. I’m not sure if deep meaning and these people belong in one paragraph though. They’re trying to make sense of their issues maybe, but not deep meaning. Please tell me you butchered that quote or add some context- because the book seems to be doing ok on Amazon it seems
Your good questions are why I subbed. You’re a very careful listener. Im just realizing this now. I’m 37. My quest for knowledge started when I was 17. I’ve been inspired to do a lot of things better by quality people. I’ve never been inspired to listen more carefully. That’s a first. Thanks Chris.
I noticed this “hedonic set point” when I joined the National Guard. We would go to Fort Bragg for 15 days and be deprived of adequate sleep, light at night, good food. We were beset by mosquitoes and chiggers. It was strenuous and miserable. But when I returned to my normal life, I was ecstatic. A fast food burger was a source of ecstasy. An air conditioned room was supremely pleasurable. Now I’m retired, but I use things like backpacking trips to achieve the same effects.
A student told me that while in the service all their shoes were thrown into one pile, and they wore whatever they could find, same with toothbrushes, soap, female necessities, etc. And all that you've mentioned would make for a brutal experience with tremendous gratitude once those things were returned. Thank you for your service to our country!!
You can tell when a person genuinely knows their shit. As an addict myself who’s been clean for 10 years, I can attest that this seems to be the way it works. I also like the fact that she explains things in layman’s terms.
Really selling the present moment there, “Being in the moment is hard and is all those awful things including being bored and being anxious and that’s kind of the point”. Really it’s the opposite, because once you get past the point of comparing it to your distractions or recalling the past it’s pretty elite
I felt a small twinge when, at the end, they talked about rats being given a drug after a year of being clean, and immediately going back to square one. If I can refrain from having a beer for a week or two, I can live without evening thinking of it for months and months, but after one delicious, cold beer, I want some more, and the next day, too. I think it may be dramatic to call myself an addict for that, but I have no idea where the line between strong desire and addiction lies. Anyway well done on the hard work it must have taken to get the 10-year-clean. Good luck with keeping that going.
I've heard some AAs disregard the scientific aspect of addiction, even rejecting it because it isn't part of unity service, recovery, and the Big Book. I don't agree because understanding the science helps understand that addiction isn't a moral issue. It isn't only a spiritual issue. It's complex in all aspects and yet simplistic with simple solutions if one is sincere to take that road. I think understanding the science behind addiction makes the road easier.
The social media segment is very important. People have developed an addiction to group outrage, offered through social media, to fuel their dopamine hits (and fuel their resulting depression). How can social media be altered to limit this damage to individuals and society? Part of me thinks social media is just a net negative, period.
Dang you know it’s true when you really don’t want it to be. I grew up very religious where everything pleasurable was a sin. I lost my faith, and got over religious guilt and thought I could do whatever I wanted. Turns out, not so much.
I think some on the religious side get caught up on reacting to the materialism and hedonism, solely focused on what not to do, rather than living for what we ought to do. When I speak to men in their journey of recovery I tell them this focus has to change once one's addiction is under reasonable control.
the older i get, the more i realize that the bible is right about a lot of things. Not in a real sense, but in a metaphorical one. And I'm an agnostic.
@@hosmerhomeboy For sure. I think myths embed cultural wisdom and values in a symbolic format. It's not a perfect 1:1 translation, but it's proved durable enough over the years.
@@hypergraphic I think you're right. I put an evolutionary lens on it, and it makes sense. Every successful civilization gas a few things in common. Mostly I think they curtail individual excesses, and provide a structure where men who aren't on the top still have an interest in propping up the system.
Oh I am thrilled to have learned whenever I force myself to sit down and listen to one of my roommates boring stories it's actually doing me good! This whole time I thought it was killing me LOL. Seriously I was about to move out and now instead of seeking some greener pastures I'm going to plop my butt down in the Lumpy easy chair and soak up the banal
@@sithewiseguy it can be as deep and consuming as a porn addiction. Its often compared as women's version of mens porn addiction. I agree there are more obvious degrees to this, because naked pics are naked pics, whereas a novel can run the full spectrum. Yet it does hit the same brain receptors.
@@sithewiseguy As a woman, it may seem harmless compare to porn that men get addicted to, but its still has harmful effects to the point it can alters women's perception of reality. In many smutty novels or fiction, young girls get groomed in thinking men who are nefarious could make for good romantic partners. Hence why the "bad boy troupe" is popular. Another effect is taking it too far until one projects unrealistic expectations to real world people or get addicted to masturbation. I can't say for all women, but for me it really affected my mental wellbeing and productivity. Like the doc said, you keep trying to reach that high until you cannot normally function anymore.
This year I went by the sea in Bulgaria with a couple of very fun friends. We almost didn't touch our phones and were constantly together, sharing stories, playing card games, relaxing, hitting the clubs and so on. Once the vacation was over we returned to our normal lives full of technology and social media and this was the time I realised how meaningless and stressful is this virtual life. For a couple of days, I was feeling horrible, I felt a huge dip in my mood and motivation and when I asked my friends if they felt the same they reported similar feelings. It was soo good to be free from technology even for a week and be with people that you like. People should strive to find alternative ways to connect to others and bring meaning to their lives outside the internet because the internet is taking more than it's giving us.
Getting ready to watch this. I tell ya, with drugs, alcohol, tobacco,....now it looks like we have detox from our phones-high tech lifestyles. I don't know about anyone else, but it seems I've spent most of a lifetime trying to manage all of those things. Ugh
Me too, Johnna. In my case, a lifetime trying to manage all those things-and mostly failing… Ugh, indeed! I hope you’re Ok, and that you have found something in this video that resonates, and that helps.
Boy , you articulated that Nick! Damn thinking is killing me. I’ve been letting go for a few years now and it seems like I’m making terrible slow progress, oh well.
Quit the nicotine if ya can, I did it by making it a priority, I kept quitting and failing and one time I was able to keep going, but I did gain about 60 lbs to be honest. But really nick ur not that bad good luck man
@@JG-it9noseems. But what it seems like isn’t it always. Maybe you should write it all down. Make some poetry. How can this weakness be flipped into strength? And you want to moan about your life don’t even bother replying. Anyhow, write it out, hope it helpz
I think there should be a "reservation" in the UK maybe 50 square miles where no technology beyond 1970s can be allowed. No internet at all! This place could be the answer to the mental health crisis.
3:00 Universal symptoms of withdrawal from any addictive substance: Anxiety Irritability Imnsomnia Depression Craving 37:00 H.A.L.T Hungry Angry Lonely Tired When you have all this emotions you are more likely to drink alcohol
I can't help but feel it is a bunch of B.S. to blame brain chemistry as the main culprit of addiction. Sure feeling good can make addictions the path of least resistance, but focusing on that is just another case of trying to treat the symptoms instead of the problem. The real problem is a lack of purpose; people who are bored and have no goals in their life will naturally gravitate to wasting time on an addiction to pass the time.
@@corb5654 Just the anecdotal evidence from my own life and many others I've known over the years. People who find something they're passionate about and set personal goals for themselves rarely ever have time to waste on addictions. All of the addicts I've known have fallen into 2 camps, those with real damage in their past that they are running away from and those who fell into it because they had nothing better to do. Not sure there is much that can be done for those in the first camp, unless they want to change and actively seek out help. For the others, the quickest way out is to just find some purpose in life. If your life has always been about either hedonism or taking the path of least resistance, it will tend to be a hollow existence that naturally leads to addictions. And I say that as someone who wasted several years of my youth being sucked into online gaming. At the time I had fallen on some hard times and I was constantly spinning my tires, getting nowhere, while trying to find my path. I took on any old crap job just to keep a bit of money flowing in and would dump 6-12+ hours into gaming most days. Though these days, I'm lucky if I fit a short gaming session in a few times a month on average. I realized what I was doing and said enough was enough. I wanted to make a change for the better, and I dedicated myself to improving as an artist and a programmer. Things got a lot tougher, but at the same I finally had goals to work towards and more often then not I found I'd rather be working towards those goals that wasting my time the way I used to. I still really enjoy games, but now they're the sort of thing I practically have to schedule free time to enjoy instead of dominating my life.
@@threethrushes That would only apply if I was claiming to be any sort of expert. All I'm saying is that her claims don't pass the sniff test if you've spent any amount of time in the real world around addicts and seen many of them pull themselves out of it and it pretty much universally happening when they finally found a purpose in life. While those who continue to view themselves as the victim of society or their own biology stay in the comfortable embrace of their addictions, telling themselves that it isn't their fault and there is nothing they could do about it.
One of your best interviews, Chris, you're always fantastic. I thoroughly enjoyed this discussion, thank you both 💎 Now to turn it into gold in my own life🧠⭐️
I'm nearing *31 days* of avoiding the very thing which spikes my dopamine to high levels and makes me feel like crap (porn). It has helped tremendously, my mood has improved and I have less anxious and depressive symptoms; I do think what would help me much more is exercise and socialising which I don't really do.
Detoxing has been around for a good long while. For myself, being Catholic, Lent was a proscribed period of deprivation. It makes sense to give up a "pleasure/luxury" for 40 days. I understand that other religions have similar ritual voluntary abstaining. Perhaps ancient shamans/priests were onto something
I got a challenge for anyone. Try to sit for ONE FULL HOUR without any distractions. No TV. No phone. No laptop. Just go outside or even sit on your sofa for one hour and see how long you can last.
I've been meaning to thank you for sometime Chris. Your interview style and obvious preparation, listening skills and quick wit make you the most interesting and genuine interviewer online at the moment in my opinion. I find this video on dopamine a good companion to the video on genetics. The interplay between nature, neuroplasticity and environment is covered well between the two and offers great practical help to, or views on, day to day life. Thanks mate.
These conversations are so incredibly helpful for me, as I'm struggling with mild addiction and ultimately dopamine spikes and lows. This information helps me to at least to understand whats happening. I am so grateful for Chris and great job interviewing man!
the best way to actually do a dopamine reset is by doing a 3-5 day water fast. When you reach day 3 to 5 the dopamergenic resets because the brain thinks its starvation time and the best way to help you get food is by resetting all your senses. smell, taste etc. after that things reset back to baseline. things will seem fresh and new, taste would seem extremely potent when its not. you would basically feel closes to what a baby experiences.
Again great interview! Here are few random parts I noted manually, with pen on paper: 1. HALT- Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired - as perfect foundation to develop addiction. 2. Visious assimetry - as we are addicted, we need more and more, to achieve less, and less. 3. "My face is on the cover of few book romances" I just found it funny. Thumb up for self distance! :D Regards, Mark, Poland.
What a great episode! I've listened to it twice already and I keep returning to it as there is just so much to learn from Dr Lembke. Thank you so much!
I never listen to 1 hour videos until this one. Totally worth it and I bought her book after. Excellent guest and excellent interview. First rate content. Nice job!
Anna is so helpful and easy to listen to!! Her tips and tricks at the end were very useful for me. I also love that she isn't an abstinence only person. I recommend her talks to anyone and everyone. We all have some sort of addictive behaviors, right?
Can you imagine what a forced break from technology would do to our culture? For example, if there were a disaster that stopped the internet from working without warning. It would be intense. There would be global withdrawal.
What happens when your dopamine hit is listening to the chris Williams podcast?? 😂😂❤ I'm gonna take the hit. That's what happens. This is good shit man.
"the will to life"...after a man has had sex his deed is done and there is slightly less reason to live the moment after, whereas with a woman after sex she needs to live for at least 9 months but more reasonably 10 years!
I am 36 and i play videogames, smoke weed and watch porn since 20 years. The last few years i try to abstain from these things but once i dont do thes things i need to do something with humans but i am really not functioning among humans very well. Whcih means everytime i stop my dopamine drugs i encounter me failing with work and humans so i come back to the safety of videogames and weed and porn.
Man this hits home! Even though I wish you weren't in the position you're in, selfishly it makes me feel better knowing that I'm not alone! Maybe we can do this together
Maybe get a backbone and grow up.You're wasting what is so frequently taken from those that truly value it. You're not a victim but a wilful, waster. Get a life, man child.
Try not to distract yourself with people, instead learn something new a language, a sport. Go for a run. Have a cold shower. There is danger in safety (comfort)
This video im pretty sure just changed my life...i was kinda knew how dopamine worked but i never thought of deliberately chasing pain to keep it in check. Especially some one whos really trying to control an alcoholic addiction this knowledge really gives me strength to lay off the stuff and getting out of my comfort zone more.. it make sense to work for your dopamine instead of always taking it the easy way and then dealing with the harsh come down.. obviously i doubt a natural dopamine high is not quite as good as drugs or alcohol but i believe i can maybe do those in moderation if i can learn to maintain a healthy basline level of dopamine... If not id still rather my happiness be more balanced. It gets really tiring feeling either really good or really bad and not being very productive. Alcohol's a bitch but this video i believe deff just helped me. Its all about strength really
@@michaelr1225 - I disagree, sort of … I’ve watched every video i can find and have time for. He does interrupt but his intension is to further the conversation not monopolize or direct the conversation
Guys guys, what if, hypothetically, you would go somewhere quiet 5 times during the day and detoxed, starting from say sunrise to early evening. Also you wash your limbs and face before doing it. Maybe we should hire a guy to remind people to detox from a tall building. that would be really neat. I think this is a great idea, help me give it a catchy name.
I skydive, competition shoot, train and compete martial arts, run, lift, HIT workouts, play bass in bands, love great sex, travel and other things to get my kicks and after a great time I always feel in the dumps until I rest and find something else cool to do. I am getting a little older now and must slow down, but now I am beginning to understand why I need to participate in activities that release these feel good brain chemicals! I see nothing wrong with it and it makes me feel alive. Getting away from phones, computers, negative people, bad jobs and whatever brings people down is paramount to happiness in this life.
I've always wondered why I can't seem to hold onto happiness. Walking home after a great evening with friends always made me somewhat sad and down. It's maybe not just this. But it's a relief to know there are other things at work too.
15:40 I hate this myth. The age of average adult life span was never anything so low as 30. Our species would have gone extinct for lack of surviving parents to raise up offspring
@@smooth_pursuit exactly, something they dont do with any other species. Prior to the Industrial Age. Life expectancy wasnt .much different than today, not much at least considering the technology difference
I appreciate this comment. The only reason why the oligarchical system sells this myth is to invoke fear within the people so that they subject themselves to the pharmaceutical and scientific experiments and schemes regarding the food hierarchy etc... I.e. so that they can make billions, even trillions in profit selling toxicity in every aspect of life. I come from the Illyrian bloodline and it's nothing new that people till this day, and have always lived up to the age of 100 years old, even higher in some places. This sickening nonsens on gaslighting people by government and corporate has to be revealed because it's unacceptable how most people are indoctrinated with lies, while it's solely to make them experimental cattle.
Great Episode! Some very cerebral and potent questions, quickly becoming a master of your craft, so impressed and always entertained. "Take me there Anna!" Loved it man, I think she did too 😀
So is this trying to get a positive goal with negative means? I feel like these people still want pleasure but are trying to get it by pursuing not-pleasure. There is still an implicit desire to want to be happy all the time. It’s like trying to get enlightenment by saying to yourself “I give up the quest for enlightenment.”
For anyone looking for good ways to approach a dopamine detox I would suggest the book 'Zen Mind, Beginners Mind' by Shunryu Suzuki. I always have a copy on my night stand.
Another "food for thought"-podcast that I really enjoyed; what an interesting guest and topic. Learning the mechanism behind dopamine and how your body always works to maintain its balance, did explain a lot of daily feelings for me, so thanks for this eye opener. Love how you give your guest all the time she/he needs to explain their point and with it, the time your viewers get to really think about it and/or learn something from it.
Sounds like you're dating the wrong women if you feel that way about sex. Imagine you've dumped your girlfriend, now how do you feel? That's where you need to improve. Btw I think you know your gf would be a terrible wife. So why are you with her? Therein lies the problem. Enjoy. P. S. It also sounds like you're scared of your gf. That really sucks
Good video, hard subject, several new contributions, keep on. The shift from fear to love through changing identity through healthy mental programming and experiences that awaken the mind can help this in big amount.
I don't know where she learned all this invaluable information, I wish that more counselors knew all this stuff, it sure would help all the people struggling for years with addiction
This is the first time I have listened to a full interview of yours and I have to say you are exceptionally lucid. Your ability to understand and relay what you have understood is phenomenal. You can hear Anna’s amazement in your instant understanding. I have watched lots of your 10 minute clips but you made a podcast subscriber. Thank you.
Really fascinating. Totally makes sense as a mom because as parents we need to determine these things and see them in our children and teach them to discern this. Also, when you read the book of Ecclesiastes, the author explains this incredibly well.
i watched almost every single interview with this lady and i think this one is the best, it touch the most important points of the book. very direct and good questions!
As a recovering hypersexual person, this talk has blown my mind. Thank you so much. I especially liked how the concept of homeostasis between pleasure and pain (and the fact that in order to reshift our baseline towards a more healthy default value we need to purposely leave behind the pursuit of dopamine) is so freakishly perfectly in line with the philosophy of Arthur Schopenhauer (one of my favorite philosophers that has helped me so much in my incipient recovery process).
She’s not answering the question about, “the devil’s laughter “ post orgasm. Could it be the endorphin dump into your bloodstream after orgasm has exhausted the CNS? Or that biologically the body is designed to feel revulsion after intercourse to keep us from getting too interested in the sexual act. A form of natural contemplation that makes the man sit back and ask , “Damn what have I done?” I mean, when it’s all said and done, sex is about creating life, it’s not about having fun.
This discussion is bringing up questions for me about the "FLOW" state. I know dopamine is one of the neurotransmitters involved in flow. Does experiencing flow move us in one direction or the other as far as dopamine balance? Or does it serve as a reset somehow? I am an artist and chasing the experience of the flow state is one of my primary motivators to work at creating art. It definitely feels like an addiction in that way. Some of the activities recommended for correcting balance seem like activities where people sometimes experience flow states (exercise, and repetitive "boring" tasks like for me gardening - both of which are for me huge flow state triggers!) But if they are not experienced as unpleasant/uncomfortable or boring (because of being in the flow state), are they doing anything to positively affect our dopamine balance?
