Agreed. 1 other video of his single handedly helped me to choose to continue pursuing my marriage. Like I wish I could meet him to thank him🙏. I’ve watched his videos with a note pad and in tears.
I just LOVE how Dr. Paul has this experience an ability to speak TRUTH in a way that is not difficult to received it. Thank you Dr. Paul you are a lifesaver!
I am so grateful for all your videos … your 9 principles are very helpful … my husband had a 2 yr affair 🥲after being together 35 yrs I am absolutely devastated by his deception but I acknowledge he is a good man who did very bad things to me … we have a chance to recreate our marriage and I’m hoping we are one of the success stories 🙏🤞🙏🤞🙏🤞
Its all about being vulnerable and exposed to them alone alone. Being compromised and blind. And fully trusting that they have your back and won't take advantage of it.
You know, this vid is relevant to those of us who are not in a marriage. 10:28; The work is in progress and this vid helps support @11:25, the feeling that elevation requires effort, 👍 the ascending work uphill is worth it; not heading in the default, or down climb.The willingness to suffer a little bit for; to make this work-passion, compassion 🇨🇦
Meg's Carpentry, I am glad you are thinking about these things before you enter marriage. More thought before would probably help the divorce/sadness rate.
Hmm. I went into my relationship with enormous amounts of trust. I was so incredibly happy....until the lies began. They never stopped DESPITE my kindness, love, forgiveness....commitment. I did ALL of these things yet he keeps lying and treating me poorly. I don't get it. I domt understand this advice, it feels like he's telling us that it's ok if our partner hurts us as long as we keep a happy face. Doc, can you chime in and help me with this? Thanks in advance =)
{{{{Ké SiNGS}}}} , sorry you got that from the video. It is never o.k. for someone to abuse you. You need to decide if this relationship is worth it. If not, then move on.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV Thanks for responding, it felt as if I wasn't understanding or missing something Watchung this video because so many left very positive comments. I appreciate the response, have a good day and be well.
Dr. Paul thank you for sharing all your knowledge with us, it really helped me be a better mum and a better person. I struggle with anger management when parenting my 11 year old daughter. I want to write down a contract/set of rules for better communication between us, clear boundaries that will help us stop before we say things we regret ( before I say things I regret!) What do you think they should be? How to draw a line and move on after so many bad arguments that went too far? How to apologize and move on? We do say sorry but then bad fight happen again and again. How to fix this relationship before it's too late?
Gaia Chandler, the only person we can control is ourselves and your daughter is learning from you. When things are escalating, the best thing to do is step away and say, I am not ready to talk about this, let's meet up in (whatever time is needed to calm) and talk about it. You could try writing out letters of what is wrong and how to solve the issue. I have three rules for parenting in another video that would be helpful for you. Contracts can be too long and difficult for a child to understand. Repect is key and once any behavior is crossing the respect line, it needs to be stopped.
My mom and I struggled like CRAZY when I was younger. I think I felt abandoned/rejected by her cause I had 3 older brothers and she worked, I wanted more loving time with her and wanted to feel less of a disappointment to her. The best possible thing you can do and the sooner the better, is ask Jesus into your heart and find a deep close relationship with Him, read His word to remind you of His promises so that you won't fear. You might be afraid of what will become of her, she probably senses this and it will push her farther away because she will feel like you don't see great potential for what she could become. If you are thinking negatively and worrying too much, it will affect her GREATLY. Don't EVER believe the lie from Satan that it will be too late. My mom and I have got a better growing relationship now and I'm 25. We still have problems sometimes. The only thing changing and helping us is relationship with Jesus. Every principle this man is introducing is straight out of the bible. I've never understood truly how much it hurts to have trust broken. I lied to my mom a bunch, I didn't realize how much it hurt her. I had my trust broken by my now husband a few years back and I still struggle with nightmares surrounding it. I'm up at 230am right now because I had a nasty nightmare, I remembered seeing this video a week ago and I decided I wanted to find it and watch it. Your daughter still has beautiful great potential and can eventually respect you again. She's a growing girl who will make lots of mistakes. Take her out to do things together, fun little things both of you might enjoy, hopefully in an environment that's filled with more nature than people. It's okay and GOOD to set boundaries and make rules for her and even punish but just try not to let those become #1/ there has to be a healthy balance between love, Grace, hope, and discipline, and raising her up right. The only way to the father is through Jeshuah His son. It won't be easy, but it will be absolutely beautiful, watch your life transform from the inside out. God bless you and your family, I'll be praying for you 💜
this sounds like wonderful advice for all relationships, but not sure how it relates to broken trust. A person who doesn't trust their partner can't do all that stuff...
Teijna Brahniuk, It takes a long time. It takes intentional effort and being transparent with one another. I have worked with couples to rebuild the trust. We offer coaching if you need some one on one help.
People who have trust issues should work on their self before they start any kind of relationship. Why are you cary all that past on your back? Why are you think that you HAVE another person? You do not have anything in this life and no you do not own that person. Of course in now days is hard to trust , you do not trust this person, you trust yourself enought that you know what you will do if someone betray you. Let go of control and everything will be fine.
I'd rather have this wonderful relationship with myself than to go put in 95% of work for a really long time with a disrespectful and arrogant human being who adds up lesser than a dog. I trust myself to do all it takes and practice all these principles so kindly being shared here. I'm only sharing my life with another respectful, loving and kind human being. Point is being choosy! Be very choosy and picky. A bad marriage is 1000 times worse than being single. For all those that are struggling to make their marriage works, respect and more power to you👍👊
What if there weren’t any problems when that person was deceived/lied to? And the person who betrayed their spouse says they don’t t know why they did what they did and that everything in their marriage is great…how do you build trust back with that?
Can you be happy and still cheat? He cheated and he says hes happy 🤦♀️ and how do you feel about revenge cheating I dont want to but this made be feel unwanted and not pretty.
There are better ways than revenge cheating. You have been given information from him and now you get to decide what to do with that information. You can choose that it is o.k. and stay or decide that you want something different.
I'd rather have this wonderful relationship with myself than to go put in 95% of work for a really long time with a disrespectful and arrogant human being who adds up lesser than a dog. I trust myself to do all it takes and practice all these principles so kindly being shared here. I'm only sharing my life with another respectful, loving and kind human being. Point is being choosy! Be very choosy and picky. A bad marriage is 1000 times worse than being single. For all those that are struggling to make their marriage works, respect and more power to you👍👊
This seems overly optimistic and almost victim blaming in a way. It is not always both people's fault. You don't need to figure out how you can do better when someone cheats or lies. They are the ones needing to do the work in that scenario. Many people take forgiveness and being kind no matter what as a green light to continue with their behavior. After years of being married to someone like that I am in big support of once they cheat exit the relationship. Its not worth hurting yourself to wait and find out if they do it again, not to mention the damage inflicted by staying with someone who betrayed you.
Sally Jane, I hear what you are saying. People need to see that they have options and sometimes they aren't ready for that truth. I am glad you see there are options.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV Thanks for clarification, the way you said it was pretty "animated" so I wasn't sure.... but in a video about trust issues I should've known better.... thanks for the amazing content, im doing my best to save things with my lady of 20 years.... but fear I may be too late.
This is very helpful information! Thank you so much for laying this out so simply and positively. I have been applying these principles for the last 2 years, have been married for almost 26. What about marriages that have experienced infidelity, and the former wayward spouse wants more than anything to make things work - and the one who wants out is ambivalent, and actually has been ambivalent due to anger and bitterness for literally decades? Is this still possible, even with such a long passage of time and statements of wanting to divorce during that time period? I am fully committed and have made many changes, and dedicated to making the situation work ... even though many people have said we should call it finished and move on. I feel that God has called us to remain together and persevere.
Thanks for watching, Raine Saunders. I'm glad you enjoyed the video. I believe that marriages are resilient. I have seen many on the brink of divorce, only to breathe new life into the marriage and relationship. As for infidelity, please watch these 2 videos to learn what I have to say on the subject: "Surviving Infidelity In Marriage" - ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-4wc9BrD0lCY.html "How To Save Marriage After Infidelity And Lies" - ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-zJiM5OdA0Lw.html As a clinical psychologist, I believe in marriage counseling and have seen it save relationships. Please consider that as an option. We also have 2 playlists on the channel to assist you as you work together: How to Fix a Marriage that's been Damaged - ru-vid.com/group/PLq2mRDkHEBPD7ZFUy4BGprDhRq8tDD2yg Positive Relationship Resources - ru-vid.com/group/PLq2mRDkHEBPA410uJ9woXx9B9WiPyM7fX
Hey there, praying you and your spouse are okay. I read a book named “the surrendered wide” or the empowered wife by Laura Doyle. Basically any of her books or podcasts are incredible.
It’s not easy when your partner changes their mind all the time. I do blame them. Yesterday they said they want to meet me but the next morning they don’t. I don’t understand. They haven’t called me for months. Is that depression or narcissism, I can’t tell. I feel very insecure. I had a narcissist parent and I feel like someone is gaslighting me again and taking advantage of me.
I am not sure that labeling the other person would change anything, Reeta Tassberg. It still feels the same in the end. You have some decisions to make if you want to continue to attempt a relationship.
What do you do if your trying to build a business, she thinks im looking for women on my phone. Wants time and conversation but complains about my lack of adiquite finances. Have had people come into the relationship and creates dought but I don’t cheat on any way. Can you offer advice.
rainy day, I am not sure. If you need some individual coaching you can schedule a cal lto find out what we offer at www.drpauljenkins.com/breakthroughcall.
Could be unresolved issues you still have buried deep down. I still have dreams about things that happened to me on occasion. My waking life looks amazing but its not perfect and i still have issues from things that happened years ago.
Eisha Khan, you are welcome. I have worked as a clinical psychologist for over 2 decades, and what I believe in the most is loving no matter what, and even if. You might find some more help from the "How to Fix a Marriage that's been Damaged" playlist at ru-vid.com/group/PLq2mRDkHEBPD7ZFUy4BGprDhRq8tDD2yg. We also have a "Positive Relationship Resources" playlist at ru-vid.com/group/PLq2mRDkHEBPA410uJ9woXx9B9WiPyM7fX for more ideas.
Christopher Farish, thanks, the RU-vid Team said they can't go back and change something in the description without ruining the analytics. email info@drpauljenkins.com for what you need.
My daughter is 4 years old. She refuse to sleep in the afternoon after the school. She is tired and need rest but whenever I touch the subject of let’s come to sleep. She gets very angry and cries a lot. If I forcefully make her sleep she will sleep at least 2 hrs. But before that she cries a lot. She is a very hot tempered girl and her forehead starts aching. I have tried to talk with her she does not like to talk on this. How do I make her sleep in the afternoon? Thanx. Pls help.
Poorva, not having met your daughter, can you arrange for a quiet activity that could ease her into sleep instead of just telling her to sleep? Reading stories is a good way as are quiet books. If she sleeps for 2 hours it sounds like she still needs a nap. Will have to think about this for a video.
This is giving “I know I hurt you but everyone gets hurt so just get on over that and love me, okay??” You cannot just give blanket advice like this with trust and relationship issues it just doesn’t apply to all 🤦🏻♀️
Following these guidelines, no marriage would ever need to end. It’s so sad that people opt out of marriages without choosing lovingness.Families deserve more.
This is the most beta minded useless advice I’ve ever heard. Want proof? You could do everything right but if you’re still being mistreated, disrespected and not seeing any reciprocation then you’ve not only wasted your time, but you will be rewarding her bad behaviour and when she sees she can get away with it because this weak little man won’t leave anyway then you will be living a worthless life. Walk away, if she lets you go she didn’t love you to begin with. These weak men give the real men a bad name and are ruining their own lives
I don't think the romantic type of love is special. And I am started to think that the romantic type of love isn't real. I mean about more than half of romantic couples either break up with each other or divorce each other, while most platonic best friends remain friends until death. Also, most people are pretty much comfortable enough to be naked around someone and have sex with someone that they have no romantic feelings towards. So sex isn't really a thing about romance. I think that having a platonic best friend is a lot better than having a romantic partner or spouse is. Having someone who's like a sibling to you is a lot better than having a romantic partner or spouse. Also, you are more likely be much more closer to someone who's like a brother or sister to you than you would be with a romantic partner or spouse. People tend to fight with their partner or spouse a lot more than they do with a platonic best friend, and you never fight with your best friend the way you fight with your partner or spouse. Partners and spouses are just temporary. If you break up or divorce them, it's hard to go back to them. With your platonic best friend, you're going to make things work, because they are your best friend, they are your go to partner. It's always easier to make amends with them than it is with a romantic partner or spouse.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV There are a lot of toxic romantic relationships, while there isn't that many toxic platonic relationships. Like an example is that abuse happens a lot in romantic relationships, while abuse is rare in platonic relationships. So there is a lot of abusive romantic relationships, while there is isn't that many abusive platonic relationships. Why do you think abusive romantic relationships have a term for them called "domestic violence", while abusive platonic relationships don't have a term for them? It's because abuse in platonic relationships are very rare, while abuse in romantic relationships happens a lot. And also, a lot of people cheat on their romantic partners with someone else, while most people won't do stuff like that with their platonic best friends. Also, I heard that most people can live a life without romance and can still be happy. But most of the time, if someone doesn't have any platonic friends in their life, it can effect them really bad mentally; much worse than living a life without a romantic partner. In today's world, less people are dating and getting married now, and they seem to be more happy being single rather than being in romantic relationship with someone. Also, you're going to have a much deeper spoken understanding and connection with your best friend than you are with a romantic partner or spouse. So those are other reasons why romantic love isn't real or special, while platonic love is.
You come across as being really sick of your job and messing with other people's issues. I realize that's probably not what you meant but maybe you could consider rewording this. You probably have some good ideas but you sound more like a car salesman
I agree. This advice is quite odd. Nice guy, but this advice doesn't seem to apply to a partner who constantly lies to you but at the same time says they love you. Thus advice makes it seems like you're just supposed to allow them to walk all over you....sigh.
Then unfortunately you won’t have any longterm relationship that lasts a lifetime. We are human, we make mistakes, things are going to happen that break 100% trust. If you want it to work longterm, you forgive, rebuild trust and move on.
@@doingme8384 That's not necessarily true. I believe this person may be coming from a long history of being taken ad advantage of amd lied to. If that's the case then trust is absolutely essential and if you find someone willing to understand that need and the pain associated with not fulfilling it, I'm sure this person could very much so enjoy a long term relationship. All of takes is two people working as a team....not that difficult.
