Hey guys! Thanks for watching and I hope that was helpful. Be sure to check out my brand new masterclass on the 5 Proven Steps to Rebuilding Your Relationship/Marriage. (Warning: Spots are limited) 💪 Here is the link to the MASTERCLASS! -> relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass 🎁 Download the FREE GUIDE! -> relationshipsmastered.com/healing-partner-emotions 🗣 Join the FB Group! -> facebook.com/groups/1032426806961329/
"Your partner is not watching the video, so it has to be you." Damn man, I'm struggling but sticking to it, and that hit me hard. My partner wants space and to "get out of her head". Feels like at times I'm the only one trying, but I know that can't be right. And it's that kind of thinking that made our space unsafe. She has her way, and I have mine. I'll do what I can I guess, but yeah it's hard. Thanks again for your videos, they really help when I'm felling low.
I've broken my wife's heart and trust with my selfish multiple actions by messaging two different women whilst under the influence of alcohol. One woman is married with children and the other woman is my wife's god-daughter. I don't know what content is in these messages but my wife has told me it's completely inappropriate what I have sent. She has also said she does not want to be in a marriage like this. I have said too her that I don't want too loose her or my children due to my actions, I've told her I'm willing to do anything to rebuild my bridges and trust one step at a time/one brick at a time regardless of how long it takes. I am very aware of how heartbroken she is by how distant she has become, which is fair. I realise that my habits are caused by my binge drinking and using my phone for self gratification. I need too learn to break my habits and show my wife that she is my upmost priority along with my children and I hope by doing this I can ultimately gain her trust and love.
Trust is so hard to gain back, once you let be gone or let it go out your hands. It is very impossible to bring it back but it is possible if the couple is smart on bringing it back. Great information Geoffrey, and I am so proud of you and your knowledge provided to us.
Indeed safety is major in any relationship. If my kids do not feel that they can safely talk to me without me getting all bent out of shape, then they willl go to friends instead.
So glad I found this channel. My ex just broke up few months back and this channel give me so much insight of the things what I thought was right wasn't. I'm learning a lot of this. Hopefully I can use it well and show my ex I'm not that bad at all.
God is my witness. I messed up, never cheated thankfully but I did let my partner down. Today I watched this video and illustrated the importance of emotional safety to my wife and she just hugged me and told me my response shows her i am at least trying. Thank you for that, and I will start rebuilding this trust thanks to this video. My lies are stupid and I wish I didn't need them as she is honest about how she often keeps things from me because of my reaction to information but i can't be the same. Hopefully after today I will! Pertinent information here ^^^^
Hey CoffeeAddict, Happy this video have been insightful for you… Once you have been vulnerable with your partner and admit that you have messed up… Then you can start the rebuilding process of trust and safety. Keep growing and become the best version of yourself!
Her mistrust of me stems from not giving her that safe environment. She no longer felt emotionally safe around me. Just yesterday (3mos separated) she got upset with me as i was trying to gauge how much involvement she wanted me with her sick father...she thought i was trying to guilt trip her. My initial thought was how could she think i would be playing those kinds of games at such a harrowing event, but now i understand even after the 3mos of work I've put in there is still more work to do bc her guard is way up. I need to keep working but don't know if she'll ever trust i can be safe around her 😢
Hi ChitoS, Exactly! I experienced these same realizations myself when faced with my own relationship failing. This is the very reason I created my program. To shed more light on our blindspots and all of the things we have been missing. Then too to learn how to teach men and women how to change in the right ways and in the permanent ways to then be able to create a thriving relationship for themselves.
I’ve watched quite a few of your videos now Geoffrey and this one is amazing, if I ever get the chance to get back with my ex I want to show her this to explain everything that I have been thinking about how to fix our relationship as you explain it so well. Brilliant thank you 🙏🏻
This is me and my problem. I am the type that does not want to talk about problems and now my wife has checked out. So now I am trying to fix this problem by working on myself. I just hope it is not too late.
I am a woman and I hurt the trust in my relationship by many micro tears. Altho unintentional, I wish i hadnt realized late how much damage I was causing. Thanks for this video! I hope to do the work necessary to do the work necessary to build emotional safety
I found you a few weeks ago and I can’t stop listening you !!)) the way you passing your wisdom -is so straightforward simple and PROFESSIONAL!! even for the person who is not speaking English very well - I can understand most of everything you are telling - I’m fully agree with you- The beginning of all problems starts with “ to feel emotionally safe”this and EMPATHY is the most important key in relationship…. I’m sending links with your messages to my partner too maybe he will learn something from you as I DO and we can start to built our relationship again ..MAYBE …from the ashes
Unfortunately everything that you talked about was what my boyfriend needed from me But because he made it clear that the truth was also one of his hard lines I’ve been fearful that he would leave me for three years. So each time he would ask again when the issue would come up , because it always does , I would double down and rephrase, try to explain things in a different way , use different words. It still wasn’t working because it “didn’t make sense “to him. So what I learned is that he’d slept with someone from his past for about 6 months. He immediately stopped the situation when I found out and I trust that. And even finding out about that I still continue to just double down in fear. But I have a feeling that things might be too far gone for him. We had our most volatile conversation about this last night. And then I turn on RU-vid and find your video . I am very very grateful. I’m gonna listen to as many as I can and luckily he’s out of town so maybe I’ll have the courage when he gets back to do what I need to do for him and me
He said he stopped only because you found out? For 6 months? And you take the blame for his cheating on yourself? This is too much... There should be a boundry where we protect outself.
Safety first, partner sees my changes but i gotta keep workjng on responding well , we beat the dead horse with alll the bad things ive done, hopefully being a performer allows me to get another chance.
Im trying to create it for 8 years. Nothing is working. All this time I thought it was me. I tried to change so many things about myself and it never changed. Im feeling incredibly hopeless.
Yes! 💯. I'm the one who needs to build the safety again, and I know this, but not sure how, definitely binge watching your videos! I've been betrayed and lied to, but totally own my piece; I definitely got mad when he tried to tell me things in the past. Now I'm begging for honesty and know I'm not getting it, but don't know how to prove that ANYTHING he tells me is okay. I tried explaining that honesty we can work with, but not 'I'm fine' when clearly with hurtful actions you are not. Thank you so much for this video!! The best I've seen and I've been watching a lot.
Thanks Geoffrey, really insightful and well explained. Truly useful information, spot on, this will serve me well, cannot wait for the next segment/guidance.
Awesome! I want to share another video with you and you can see where this may apply based on the one you just watched. Let me know what you think. ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-a-t4GY1Znr0.html
I've been with my girl for 6 and a half years. 3 weeks ago she accused me of cheating for the millionth time of cheating, because I could not answer her call while in a meeting. I video called her back while in the meeting, but she hung up after 10 seconds. I always fall to my knees trying to convince my innocence's to her, but I was so exhausted of the accusations this time that I just texted her "ok" after all the accusations. It's been 3 weeks, and she just blocked me on social media today, even though all I have said to her since was "merry christmas". Fun holiday season for me.
Thank you so much for this. This has got me to understand what I've done to the person I love so much. Trust is so important in arelationship and learning about the importance of emotional safety. #safetyfirst
Well a year and 3 months since me lyng to my wife and keep working on my self and still no trus and every time I talk about issues gives me resistance and jump into conclusions I fell like there is not hope but still working on my self
Hi Geoffrey, is the facebook group still live? I can't seem to find it? Thanks so much for your incredible content. I'm struggling so much, but your videos are really really helping.
I am currently enrolled in your relationship mastery program and it is going well. I am optimistic about bettering myself and our marriage. Now I'm wondering about attending your 4 day program if it is designed for my wife and I both. Please lmk...thanks
#SafetyFirst! I've shattered the bond and trust I have with my wife through gambling. I've never been a confident and open person, a quiet person, a reserved person. I think I always felt safe with her, she would always bent over backwards to try and help but still couldn't be open in case she thought I was a stupid person. I've never liked to argue but now I have to tell her its probably because I never felt safe :(
Seriously Great Advice!! Can you make a video about your thoughts on sharing social media / phone passwords? Does this change in long distance relationships?? Is this healthy or toxic?? Base rule or case by case?? Are there certain ages (of couples) or stages in relationships (boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife) where this is acceptable or unacceptable?? Very curious about your views on this topic...
safety first. My wife recently left me for another man. I am crushed. I want to know the truths. I believe I would not react badly. The details will certainly hurt. I have not directly asked her. She has said she isn't ready to talk about it. She is still with him. I'm sitting here shocked, hurt and feeling helpless.
Hi Tim Kobe, Come check out Jason, just one of many of my clients who also found themselves in this same situation. Let me know what you thought about his story or one of the many more who were facing the same dire circumstances. ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-FoxjQ_NCuVo.html
My wife decided to pursue the divorce after we have been together for 25 years and married 19. I have been working on myself since end of February beginning of march and i sometimes see a fleeting glimmer of hope that quickly goes away. I want her to feel trust and safety again with me but it seems like she is becoming less caring and more cold.
Hi Richard Drouin, I invite to take a look a look at my countless clients who have been in that very same situation and found out how to restore hope in their partners once again. ru-vid.com/group/PLQ8tvyhQlPzsNm-vC_g_8SWGcJRngefgU
Hello. My girlfriends tather died and she broke up with me at the same time because she was falling our oflove with me.We both have our own kids and we love them SO much. She is hurting in s0 many ways and am lost in SO many ways need some real help please This is a cry of desperation. Any help is much appreciated I am SO sad for her loss but also S0 sad for our breakup.
I have broken my boyfriend's trust, belief and everything. By doing toxic things which he doesn't like to save our relationship . So now he is like no relationship , we will either be friends or strangers. I really love him and I can't stay without him, I'm ready to change myself and be as be wants me to be. What can I do now to save my relationship? Please tell me .😭
Hi Poojitha Salgar, I invite you to join me in my free 90 minute master class to learn what thousand of my clients have learned and how to start to repair your relationship. relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass
I don't know if I've missed it, but do you have a video on how to work on reacting better once you've recognized that in the past your reactions have compromised emotional safety? I have BPD and I tend to have reactive, emotional responses initially and then come around to compromise later on. However, my partner has shared that this (understandably) makes it hard to come to me, even knowing it will be okay in the end. I practice mindfulness, and I'm in therapy, but the way you explain things seems to stick in my head, so I'm wondering if you've done a video on shielding the initial ego blow that sends me spiraling when my partner has an issue.
Hi Catrena Burnett, Check this video out to learn more on how I teach my clients how to become emotionally bulletproof. Be sure to come back and let me know what you thought of it. ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-tp6g9vgOiec.html
I would like to rebuild trust but it's really hard that every time it seems like it's going good and then all of a sudden it's just like a blow up we could do nothing for weeks and then all of a sudden I get a blow up I would like to learn how to talk it out with her and communicate with her better
Hi Stephen, This is quite common actually. Also quite simply to repair when you have the right tools and the right mindsets to be able to create great conversations. When you can do this... there is nothing the both if you can't overcome. relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass
All right so I just had an epiphany and this whole time I’ve been trying to figure out how to get her to trust me and then I just realized maybe I was doing these things because I didn’t have trust to tell her and that’s why I was doing things in secret 🤯 Maybe this all started because I didn’t emotionally trust her first.... geez
I've doubts from previous relationships that has reappeared through my actions and led my current relationship bad situation and close to the end. Today break up is in its first stages and seems that I've destroyed a great one. What can I do? Maybe nothing just sit and let the flow do its work
Please I need some guidance, I have been watching a ton of your videos and I have made better decision. My partner is still in limbo but we talk. She had an affair but she told me that she felt guilty. I know I was never there to give her the safety she needed. I have been selfish and always thought I was doing things right. I've disregarded her and our children for so long. I stopped all my habits but of course she hasn't seen the changes as of yet. I won't give up it would just prove that I wasn't serious about this change at all. How do I tell myself that it will be ok even if she leaves me for another guy.
He always calls me a liar and that I cheat- I have done no such things and I dont lie- he is just projecting and loves to create drama to argue and then give me the silent treatment to go and talk to others, I have seen it and know of it- I am inside a bubble - I am the most loyal person and I guess a pushover- and he is never happy. He is one of those my way or the hwy people. So I go his way and its still not a good thing- still he doesnt trust me - even tho he says he does- so confusing. He is so toxic and yet I am here dealing with him casue I have strong feelings for him- but this trust issue drives me insane.
Hey Eddie -- This is a really tough question as it takes my students weeks and months to really master this concept. If you want to explore more, go ahead and join my masterclass. I am sure it will bring you more clarity on your path to rebuilding trust. relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass
Im the one that emotionally cheated, i commented many times already. Im a guy btw, i told my girlfriend last week, i keep texting everybody which i need to stop and give her space to heal but i dont want to lose her
Hey Simplicity, Work on controlling your emotions and use this opportunity to grow yourself… Your patience is crucial here as she does need the time and space to heal… Once she notices the changes in your communication and interaction, she will naturally gravitate towards you.
Hi Mikael Williams, You can either join my free Facebook community where a member of my team can help answer your questions or join my free 90 min master class where at the end you can submit your application to the program. relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass
Hi Rich, Absolutely! safety is crucial and the foundation for any relationship... If you’d like to learn more, you can begin by joining our free masterclass here. relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass At the end of this masterclass, you will also get some information on how you can submit your application for the program. And in case you’re curious as to how life-changing this program is, or how it is MILES beyond what other programs can offer, check out the links below! Client Review Videos: ru-vid.com/group/PLQ8tvyhQlPzsNm-vC_g_8SWGcJRngefgU
Me and my partner had a conflict.. she's mad at me.. and says she lost trust in me.. I was calm and I told I understood what she wants to say.. and she told she all she can give me is her friendship now.. nothing more than that until she can trust me again.i tried to talk to her and explain her.. but all she wants is friendship now. What should I do to make her love me back?. I really love her..
Jeff I need some more real advice, I have violated my trust with my wife with tell her small lies that have progressed over time and not she can’t believe a word I say with out fact checking everything. And on top of that she now says that we need to take some time apart. Can you give me some advice?
Hi TRU DAWG, Come join me in my free 90 master class to learn how to build emotional safety within your partner once again. relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass
I see all this, but should I tell my ex partner (still living together) how bad I feel? If she asks how Im doing or if I open up for more talking.. How should I express myself being so hurt and sad.. Thanks!
Hi KeithCanisius, What is the goal? Are you hoping that if you tell your partner how hurt you feel that she has pity on you and wants to reestablish a relationships with you? Why not give your partner a reason to feel some hope by stop playing the victim and using this opportunity to show your partner you can learn from experiences. Then to not only learn from them, but to grow in ways she never thought you ever could? ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-1j1JbWyeAk8.html
@@GeoffreySetiawan The goal would be to begin the journey of emotional safety in our communication. We have a hard time talking ATM (4 weeks after she broke it off after over 12 years). We have two kids in an apartment, that is home a lot too. Doesn't make it easier + being tired at night when we have some space. I want to work on safety, so she can open up. I'm a little afraid as well, so I'm practicing asking open-ended questions about her job. Thank you for your time!
Hi Dominador, Exactly! My clients have learned the right skills to provide their partners with the safety required for them to thrive in their relationships. If you'd like to her more on this topic I invite you to check out my free 90 min master class. relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass
Hello sir, We broke up because i cheated( i sent a nude pic to another girl) And her suggest was to be a suitor(manliligaw) to her parents next year before her debu (sept is her birthday) Right now i avoided porn and stuff or any sexual related. What should i do first and to improve