OMG I wish my Boyfriend Scott would watch this video. This is EXACTLY what I been going through with him. He DEFENDS it ALL. I’m so Hurt‼️ we broke up today. Well I broke up with him today. Now, he is in a relationship with himself. Now he can defend that
I am defensive when my partner starts to tell me all the things they did right, instead of focusing on the issue. I find myself repeating and then yelling after they have repeated their view of what they thought I said dismissively.
I get defensive when I try to communicate and my husband doesn't understand me and when I tell him about something and he doesn't do it we going back to what I suggested earlier.
Thank you for this video. I'm not sure I understand the difference between making excuses vs yes, but. I definitely do the latter by providing why I thought a certain way or did a certain thing - basically a justification/explanation. How is that different than providing an excuse?
Think of the differences as less important that being defensive overall. The reason we have different ways of looking at being defensive is so you can spot how you do it. Sometimes things will overlap.
Denying responsibility Making excuses Cross complaining Yes...but Repeating yourself I'm doing all of this. All the time. Thank you very much for this and your other videos and for telling me how to fix this.
If I feel I’m getting flooded I tend to counter back, repeat myself, snap, my words are like venom or I end up throwing a tantrum. Shouting, swearing, crying, throwing things 😬 geez no wonder he doesn’t bring things up 😅😭
When I get dismissed or spoken to with disgrading works, stupid, dumb, belittled or my intelligence is challenged. Like I don't understand what you just said, but that's nothing new. Like I have no intelligence in talking.
But I am in counseling with emdr therapy and splankna therapy. Going back in my own life trauma and physical therapy at the same time. Trying to take ownership of my life. It's a lot... but my husband doesn't get this big growth. As well as my froggness in the process. They only focus on running their own place of being. I find this to be very hard and discouraging to my work. I am a libra he's a virgo.I want balance so bad in every way. He wants me to shut up and listen and hold all thoughts on the matter. Hands down, he is not listening or not getting it. I have put it out there for us. We both have both felt the same way. I understand that and I relate. I have taken all fault in most matters. I have been trying to handle this situation and growth in growing myself. And waiting on an understanding. My childhood abuse has me in a long time hardship and seeing whats wrong.
