How to stop EUPHORIC RECALL from sucking you back into a narcissistic relationship 

DON'T EVER FORGET WHAT YOU WENT THROUGH, REMEMBER how you had to fight for your own LIFE. Remember ALL that it took to HEAL,shake the dust off and get back on your GRIND!! THANK GOD YOU MADE IT OUT, AND DON'T EVER RETURN!!!

I stopped mine by making myself remember the horror. I would go back to accounts of rollercoaster behaviors and then I'd snapped back to a healthy reality.

Narcissistic cycles are just like DV cycles. Honeymoon stage, building up stage, blow up abuse stage, coming down stage, calmness, repeat.

'All photographs are accurate. None of them is the truth' - Richard Avedon.

Ick list. Being blamed for money that I spent. Turning my children and friends against me. Never taking my side,never protecting me. Always being late. Never helping me with the work in around the house. Complaining about me doing what I like! Sitting reading while I tried to juggle 2 jobs.

It’s like an addiction. You remember the highs of the relationship. You remember the good times. It pulls you back in because you’re uncertain about whether or not their false character was real. But if it was real, why aren’t they there for you now? That’s how you know it was fake all along. The character was nothing more than a tool that they used to manipulate and deceive you, to lock you under their control. However you feel after being involved with a narcissist is how they wanted you to feel.

That is why abuse is so effective. If it was 100% of the time, we would never be involved with that person from the beginning. As far as a narcissistic sibling. I try to remind myself that no matter how wonderful the love bombing is, I have the feeling of "walking on eggshells" for a reason. It always ends up with ghosting or devaluating.

"Why can't you remember the good times." was a question I heard a lot when I was still trying to repair the relationship with my parents. It became apparent that in their mind I was the problem for not brushing off the abuse.

What works for me is remembering we only take pictures during the good times. I don't know anyone who pulls out a camera to take pictures during a fight or not a happy time.

Needed this. 6 months after I ended things, I still have flashbacks of the good times. And quickly (thankfully, it's quickly now and don't get stuck romanticizing them) remind myself of my favorite Dr. Ramani quote on narcissistic (Cluster B personalities, because I think Bipolar or Borderline can be just as difficult) relationships. "Enough good days to confuse you. Enough bad days to break your heart."....and then an Andrea Gibson quote, "Let your heart break, so your spirit doesn't."

I never want to see him again,not even the photos. If I never see or hear him again,it will be magic!

There was a person I knew many years ago before I knew what a narcissist was. He found me on Facebook about 15 years later, and I noticed he was still doing and saying things in the same way. He used backhanded compliments, and then he would lay on the charm. I knew better than to get involved with him because now I knew what narcissism was. But he was so charming. I made 2 big posters (yes, big poster boards) and listed all the negative things he did. I taped one by my bed and 1 by my door so I would read the lists every day. He was hoovering me with lots of charm, and I could feel the pull. I would debate with myself thinking that maybe he was different this time around even though I could hear and see what he was. He tried for 3 years! He was persistent. Then finally after 3 years he started calling me horrible names just because I maintained my "No." Those posters really helped me stick to my guns.

I say out-loud to myself in private, " He's divorced for a reason, His adult children don't want to be around him for a reason, He was fired from being a Godfather to his former best friends little girl for a reason" . Doing this helps to acknowledge to myself the abuse I went through. I found doing this to be very beneficial.

FOR 7 YEARS NOW, I HAVE BEEN ENJOYING THE BREAKING OF EUPHORIC RECALL AND WHEN MEMORIES CREEP IN I USUALLY SAY TO MYSELF " WOW, THANK U GOD IM OUT"

I relate narcissistic relationships to poison ivy. It's really quite attractive, but I wouldn't want to have it growing in my garden.

Euphoric Recall - I call this a hit of myexisgone, because the cravings are real, the withdrawal anxiety great. Partial reinforcement, all the "near wins" of the Game of Chance that we called that relationship/situationship, are the strongest type of performance animal training reinforcement used. We're craving the acceptance which is demonstrated by the Jackpot. Relationships aren't gambles, they're investments. Don't throw good resources after bad.

I used to hate looking at a photo of me age 12. I hated that photo. I hated that kid. Ugh. Ugly. Unwanted. Useless. So last year I bought a silver frame and put the photo in a prominent spot in my home. I now speak very kindly to the child in that photo, promising that I will protect them and keep them safe. Hmm, warm fuzzy feelings.

Also, when you were in the relationship (of whatever type) for the right reasons...of course you will look happy. Genuine people have genuine emotions, it's ok to be confused by old pictures. Be kind to your past selves.

I liked that you said a survivor “or experiencer” of narcissistic abuse because, while abuse of any kind is never okay, there’s a range of severity when it comes to abuse. Someone may suffer from a wide range of abusive behaviors within an abusive intimate relationship for many years. This can destroy their career, ability to financially support themselves, relationships with others, physical & mental health, leave them spiritually broken, feeling hopeless about the future & wanting to die to simply end what feels like ever ending torture… and then there may be another person who felt confusion, sadness, invalidation, etc. throughout childhood but never understood the underlying causes of those feelings until adulthood & who may carry some level of grief with them but lead a functional lives & have the capacity to develop healthy adult relationships, etc. Having been in an abusive intimate relationship for years, it almost feels invalidating to refer to every person who has ever known or loved a narcissist as a survivor… Yes! It IS like a full time job trying to decode them… And the magical sex thing for 16+ years. How to live without that when I forget who I was & what life was like without that? He’s always been faithful to me. He’s always given me & the kids all his money, etc. How do I know I’m not trading one set of problems for another?…Everything you’re saying resonates with me. So how do we let go of the relationship when in an abusive intimate relationship? How do we learn to trust & love again? Treat ourselves as if we are addicted to them, like a 12 step program? Will I always miss & want him, even if I manage to leave him? I’m SO tired. I just want to love & be loved. It feels like things will be going well for weeks, where I began to feel normal - and then if I say anything he doesn’t like (usually when I stand up for myself in healthy appropriate ways), it’s like Jekyll & Hyde. Not even an exaggeration… Thank you for existing & for sharing your wisdom. Love, respect & gratitude from Massachusetts.

This hit home! My reminiscing of the last two days. Excellent time to hear this. I thought I was so in love, now to go back and look at all the gaslighting,lying, promises for years wasted in a relationship that I thought was real. Thank you for your help for reminding us all that it wasn’t real.

Just in time… Thank you, Dr. Ramani!

Dr. Ramani, you are my hero. I know you saved so many lives and comforted so many people who had no idea what they had gone through and blamed themselves.

My ex husband called me up to “ask” me if I wanted any copies of our wedding pictures because he was going to purge his laptop. He knew I had a zip drive of them. So I politely responded no, I had my copies to pass on to my daughter some day. When I look at them I have to remind myself that the wedding day was a loving moment. It was the in-between that sucked so bad. I don’t gaslight myself. I hold on to my truth. I keep those photos for my daughter, so she can have that moment for her own history. Her dad has so much contempt for me nowadays. It might be nice for her to see a moment he was actually being nice to me.

When you narrate to yourself OUT LOUD all the background things that went on before and after the big smiles helps with the confusion. My narc husband passed after 36 years. There are a LOT of photos. When someone says "Smile for the camera" you do but... by reminding yourself he yelled, complained, made you do all the heavy lifting and spent all your money to impress others for the 2yr Olds party, it makes me see the smiles as just a bookends for a whole lot pain in between.

I'm at the Ick list part. I have a scar underneath my eye from my narcissist sibling swinging a rope with a metal ring at the end. It struck me at age four. My parents cleaned me up, but only told me to not follow as close. It's when I first realized that I had to get really smart if I was going to survive. My parents wouldn't protect me.

Thank for speaking so deeply on this subject. I’m going through many boxes of old family photos in these months. I’m also trying not to fall back into a relationship because of the good memories and being lonely. It’s a very helpful suggestion to make a list and realise the roller-coaster is not only the highs. No wonder we get sucked in, a placid, vanilla relationship doesn’t give those highs…. The goal is a healthy relationship that has highs without the destructive need for control and domination.

Mine is the opposite. My childhood pictures are all sad. Especially one I look at it, and the pain is so obvious. My pain in that picture is blatant. I was probably sad. I never realized until now, how much damage my narcissistic dad did to me.

I went cold turkey back then. I've kept nothing to remind me of people who were abusive. I have my memories though. Mellowed, not hostile, not angry most days, but they're here if needed, to remind me where I came from. I expressed myself clearly, I don't care or accept apologies or attempts to reconnect, I don't forgive (that's in internal job - they can work on forgiving themselves), and I don't need or want anything from these people. I found peace and I relearned to enjoy life's smallest pleasures. I'm happy, I don't expect, nor want to see these past people ever again.

I love your natural hair colour 😍. It looks so beautiful and great on you. ❤

17:26 “ it’s hard to think that getting out of the relationship was the win” Well Said Dr.Ramani 👏

Yes, I do have pictures. It reminds me that all that are facades. It serves as a reminder to be careful to select a partner going forward. Painful Lessons.

Another piece to this puzzle is when children are involved. All one has to do is read up on Parental Alienation stories. More often than not, the narcissist gets full custody because of $$$$$. Many mothers who don’t have custody with the narcissist, may NEVER see their children again. Not only that, the narcissistic parent brainwashes the child/children against the other parent. The other parent goes through literal HELL. Suicides happen. So, that is a possibility why the good person hesitates to leave. I’m personally experiencing this myself and it’s a miracle I’m still alive. My daughter is 25 and never talks to me. It’s delicate to bring your defenses and stories to your children. It may make it worse.

Have written the 5 points of the worse things about my relationship. Control, gaslight, etc actual examples. The list is on my fridge. When I see him in the village, I remember that list. . Any smile, flying monkey , deed has no effect as I know the low that is reality.

It’s VERY tricky with family, because throughout the years they were there in difficult times. The thing I hold onto is the realisation that they often put me in difficult times. I remember talking to a woman at a party about relationships and narcissistic abuse. She knew that her ex was toxic and abusive, but she started reminiscing about the romance and I tried to remind her about the abuse, but she just kept rambling on… As she exhaustively regaled the whole room with how good he was as a lover, I left. Some people will refuse to accept the truth that the highlights were probably fake, or at least are not an indication of how healthy the relationship really is.

Just what I needed today. I went thru waking up thinking abt ex narc. Saw pics and made me mad and angry..so glad u are talking abt this. It's so not me anymore. After a year of break..its been like who was that..but anger triggers. Working thru...decluttering

I don't have euphoric recall (there were NO good times or happy memories) I have what I'll call euphoric "fantasy" where I imagine myself telling him off, standing up for myself and saying all of those things I WISH I would have had the guts to say to his face. I think I have euphoric revenge fantasies too, and it's not healthy... I have to let it go...

When I finally stayed gone from my ex, I made a list of all the ways he treated me like trash to revisit anytime euphoric recall started hitting. I also hid FB photos and deleted some old posts that would pop up in FB memories. It was really effective, I was able to delete the list right before the divorce. And I still cut him out of old pictures if I look really good in them and still want to keep them lol. Otherwise, I shred them.

Praying for healing. Sometimes am suicidal thinking of what I have went through. I wanna be happy and move on with life happily. ❤️‍🩹 🙏

You described my life with my husband and in-laws 🙏

Surprisingly i have a lot of pictures of me on the bad days..... I keep them as a reminder of what to never allow again.

I had to quit my job and now I have to delay my exit. Please say a prayer for me that I get out of this.

I donated my wedding albums to the photographer for her display for prospects. I got rid of a lot of gifts my sister gave me. I felt like they were tools she used for manipulation and it felt good to throw them away. Also I got rid of many photos and deleted posts from not only her but my narcissist dad. Tired of feeling sick when I saw them.

I love that you called it Euphoric Recall because being in narcissistic relationships really is an addiction

I am right in the middle of this as I go through a rough divorce with a narcissist. What I discovered, as I go through old photos, he showed up for the professional photos. I had more pictures of our kids with my friends than with him. It was an eye opener about who is really there for you, and who shows up for you.

I did a ' literal purge' of my ex-family. ANY photos I had or any memorabilia that I had that were from that family I got rid of because I DON'T need to be reminded of my past how much so why have anything around that resembles it. I remember one time when (the female person who had brought me up) had literally told somebody (AS I WAS IN THE ROOM), they were(at the time) going through old family albums. "Oh, she had such a happy childhood, look she's smiling in every photo." My first thought was for (the female who had brought me up), and I was just telling myself in my head, how freaking dare, you looks are deceiving."

Yeah, I am going through it in this stage of my life. Deal with an elderly overt narc parent and the healing from a malignant NarcX. My siblings are only dealing with our mom, they don't understand the narcx/co-parent aspect Im grappling. I feel like the more I want to be left out of both(narc mom and narcx) the more one or the other sucks me back in. They want me to be the messy heap I was a year ago or further back. I can't. I wasted and gave my mom and this NarcX all of my energy and time for no good results. It feels like I'll never be free because it's all internal, in my mind and I feel like there not enough to replace and shove out the trash of childhood to the mister I chose. I think the rosey feeling/view this is why I keep being stuck since I ended therapy. She was a great therapist, but I think I played her as well as myself in saying I am ok and I'm strong enough to call it a day. I just wanna be free and not stuck over these two people that in life Iatter less to them than cat poop.

Here's what I tell myself because I do miss his bod and I cry when I find a keepsake. 1. The sex was good but not good enough to keep him. 2. Remember how your suffering affected the people who really love you. 3. It was so hard to go through the process of getting rid of him, DON"T MAKE YOURSELF GO THROUGH THAT AGAIN! (AND see #2). 4. It wasn't real. S/ He never loved you. 5. You deserve better. 6. Do things you could never do with him around. Watch a show he hated and you loved. Play your music. 7. Go to church or volunteer. Meet some people or your isolation will become more and more daunting, which is stupid, kids go out and play all the time ffs. 8. Reward yourself in a meaningful way you can look forward to. I love you all brave friends. : )

Journal when you’ve just gone through a horrific event with your narc. Write down every aspect of that experience; what happened in detail, who said what and how it made you feel. The deeper you dig down into your feelings about it and they will probably multi-faceted, the better. THEN when you start to get sucked back in to their charms, go back and read what you wrote. Document as much as possible. It’s not for the purpose of holding a grudge or unforgiviness, but to keep yourself grounded in truth.

I do not have those pictures because it triggers my ptsd. I try to avoid them when they come up on Google photos. It sucks though, because so many of my child's baby photos have gone down the memory hole because I can't look at it. I still struggle with euphoric recall and I am five years free of my relationship which was violently abusive. It is like an addiction. I hate it, but therapy helps.

We don't take pictures of the bad times.

Thank you Thank you Thank you!!!👍❤👍❤

I so needed to hear this today. I have caught myself reminiscing about the good times. Thank you Dr. Ramani. ❤

… what’s missed are those isolated moments of happiness … and what could have been and should have been …

I’ve been away from my Narc ex now for almost 2 years, yet the memories are still fresh in my mind and feel like they were just yesterday. At one point, I moved 1,000 miles away for a job, and I still found myself missing him. The trauma bond is just so strong. I had the highest highs with him that I haven’t had with other men I’ve dated since. I just miss him and I would take him back in a heartbeat if the opportunity arose 😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️ I am in a unique situation because I blame myself for a lot of it, because I didn’t have my own life together at the time Of course the Narc ex has no idea and thinks I’ve moved on and no longer care (this is what it looks like from any outsider’s perspective) - which isn’t true at all. I haven’t made any actual attempts to apologize or reconnect, even as friends. I do think I need this for my own healing just because of the unusual circumstances and the fact that a lot of the wrongdoing was mine I pray to God I get the opportunity someday to have a chat with him and at least apologize for my own inappropriate behavior 🙏

I keep coming back to this video when I ruminate. Ugh! This week someone sent me a pic of the Nex biking through the Grand Canyon with his hag rebound. After the wake of destruction he left, HE gets to live the life of Riley! I can't afford to travel, too injured to climb on a bike, have no partner (BY CHOICE) to play with... I'm 10 months out now but suddenly struggling harder. I deleted 133 pictures this week-- BECAUSE IT WAS ALL FAKE!! This killed me because some had my grandkids in them, my late dog, and good shots of me. But it's part of letting go. That pic set me back 6 months. I journal every day, which makes it impossible to have a day where I don't think of him. I broke things off, but suddenly I see him next to me every day like an invisible friend. Something needs to change!! I'm so glad he's with her, still lovebombing, because I'd hate to give in to hoovering. I wonder if this had to happen so I can jumpstart some forward momentum!! Needed to hear these words today. Taking notes!

Wow, your opening words were so profound! “Those are only moments ….relationships are actually what happened inbetween those moments” That simple concept gave me such peace, and I haven’t even listened to video yet… !

Yes, and I actually was beginning to think I am crazy. Since I have so many ex toxic/narcissists, I will go on rampages of remembering everything good about all at one time. I will end up feeling horrible. Now I know this happens. I would have never told anyone about my thoughts. Thank you again! Whew!

So true. So easy to forget how bad it was..

My Mom has always suggested writing a long list of all the reasons why you broke up with that person and refer to it often. Ive also found making a special box with the photos is helpful.

I don't have an issue with euphoric thoughts. I have an issue with memories popping up and realizing how manipulative they were, how many times I was duped, or lied to, ignored, or gaslit. Like, everything I believed previously about love, about life, is now wrong. It was ALL narcissism. How do I make these stop? I have been out of the relationship for almost three years now. Thank you for all that you do, I've learned so much from you!

I fanned all the rage, the hurt, the betrayal, the "think of all the good things I do for you" I fanned the flames white hot, condensed them into a pinprick nova, and touched all those good things with it and burned them to ash. Now when I remember the good times... I trigger the memories of the consequences, that these experiences are used as an excuse for the abuse.

Just went no contact. I am humbled, scared, disturbed recognizing that through my whole childhood, and to this day she says, ”I’m too old to change.” Why did I never clue in? The writing was on the wall in front of my face the whole time. It’s terrifying to see how blind I was. It still terrifies me each day.

My family pictures show a sad, confused 12 year old girl hit hard by her mother's emotional neglect which began around the time I began to individuate. Around that time my teacher called my mom in for an in person chat for the three of us. The teacher told my mom explicitly "I suspect your daughter is depressed, she cries often, looks despondent, counseling is highly recommended. My mom shot back "my daughter is not crazy, no thank you". Never to be spoken about again. Fast forward 45 years later, I am a reformed people pleaser (25 years of therapy!) who now knows how to set strict boundaries and distance with toxic people, especially my still emotionally immature parent who continues to ignore me and her grand daughter. Recommend "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents" by Gibson

I have a pic my mom took. I am four and sitting on my dads lap. We are not looking at the camera and we both look so sad. 😢 Trapped in the cruelty of a severely narc mom/wife. I can only imagine the nasty stuff she was saying to us as she took the photo. She is 88 now, still cruel and appears to have other mental health issues too. 😢😢😢

At 64 and a marriage that is as strong as ever (over 38 years now and that does not include the three years prior as living together) I do feel better after watching your YT videos. Prior to meeting my faithful wife I had two relationships where I was love bombed and gaslit. Looking back both the unsuccessful girlfriends were too easy for me to ask out initially while my wife (also mother of my children, travel companion and BFF) took a little longer and patience but WOW was it worth it.

“We got it right on that day.” WOW!

There is a photo of me age 3 or 4. I remember being sleepy and my Mom taking my doll out of my hand. I whined for the doll back. She gave it back and told me not to drop it. Then yanked me out of the car to go get my photo taken. She said we were late. If she wasnt pulling me fast I probably wouldnt have dropped it. She became bitchy and spanked me then expected me to smile at the camera.. I frowned and doll has a dirt stain on its head. I like the picture because i did not smile as i was told

Thank you Doctor Ramani

Never had any fond memories of my narcissistic parent, mother. Now I have a narcessitic daughter.

Be strong enough to be honest and kind Then may peace be with you a marvel gaze

Holy god did I need this video. Thank you for putting this together.

This is exactly what I needed today. Thank you Dr. Ramani😊

Thank you for creating and sharing!

Wow. I REALLY needed this right now. Thank you, Dr. Ramani 🥺🙏🫶

After my malignant sociopathic husband died I couldn't connect with and still have no desire to connect with his friends or family as all they did was talk about how wonderful he was. Sadly they never knew my truth. I refuse to listen ad nauseum about him without speaking my truth. My friends and family knew. So, sadly I just cannot interact with any inlaws even though some are really nice people. Win some lose some.

It used to hit me right in the guy to look at those pictures and it hurt. Now it's just an old part of my life. Kind of like a dream. I can't see myself smiling in those pictures because mostly, I was the one taking them to capture the moments. My kids will probably always remember their father with them in those moments, but there is rarely any photo documentation that I was even there.

I finally, after 13 yrs, got out of the narcissistic marriage , but I keep hearing from one daughter how wrong I was, it was mostly my fault that It didnt work out. That I was the one doing everything wrong. That I should take him back and that she wants to go to a marriage counselor with us so they can " fix my problems." And that all i ever do is run away from my problems instead of dealing with it all. She never stops. How do u deal with those people? ( and yes, she is very much like my second husband. )

Thank you for this. Very important

Recently my brother asked me, why is it so important that I remember specifically, the things my mother did to me- wasn’t it enough to know generally that my mother was “ compromised “ ? “No”, I told him. I have to remember the ugly details and add it to a list of all of the hurts my mother mother has done to me otherwise, the cognitive dissonance wants to set in and I’ll want to forget the pain and accept the treatment as a normal part of relationships. He doesn’t get it.

I have a few pictures of me with my narcissistic parents - the first of course is when I was a small baby. She looked so happy in the photograph. What went wrong? My father, the bigger of the two narcs, always fighting with her, abusing me and then taking me out for treats to buy my silence - Sometimes I feel like she learned it from him, because she stood by him after finding out - treated me like the cheating home wrecker come in to destroy her relationship with my father and her happy family outlook. We were off to Euro-Disney in the early 90's - That was a good day even though it was cold. I was beaming from ear to ear. I got that childhood dream, even though it was just for one day. We did go on vacations we did have fun - it's almost as if a different persona overtook them for those moments captured on film but the moment we got back? Pooft, gone and the narcissistic abuse happened again along with the physical, emotional, psychological and s3xual in my case. In fact even a couple of vacations I remember where I have no photographs, the abuse happened there as well. I remember being berated by him to hurry up whilst taking a photograph of him and my mother under the Arc De Triomphe as they kissed. Ugggh. In those years I was being s3xually abused by him. I try not to look at those photographs. They bring up far too much confusion and pain. Instead, I look at photographs on my children. They are in my happy box because that is one tool I use for my PTSD.

Yes the mood tracking app was a real eye opener for me seeing weeks and weeks and months of mostly 😢😮😳🤯💔🤬😱 emojis…. I suddenly saw a pattern

This is absolutely brilliant. I can relate to just about every word spoken on this vlog; I don't think I've ever heard it described so clearly. The person that comes to mind was someone from decades ago. Not a family member but a man I was with for 2 years. I was newly divorced when we met and wow did he see me coming. He hid it so well until I tried to leave. Then the mask came off. Fast forward to today I am working with my therapist to solidify a healthy understanding of trust. I am learning that trusting someone is ok. It's up to me to have strong boundaries when I encounter some one new and to realize that not everyone is untrustworthy. A balance. It's been a long, long road but I'm coming out on the other side. I can't thank Dr. Ramani enough for her work.

I have every one of them. I just can't throw them away. I was with him 22 years, separated for 14. I still wait.

Sharing photos of the narcissist, a true Kodak moment! 😆

I have made the ickylist and it is a good idea. All too long I justified a lot of crap going on. So happy to, most of the time, see things much more realisticly and clearly.

Great! Thanks, doctor Ramani! ❤

This helped me a lot. It helps put into perspective the great/interesting times.

That’s wild I have went back and looked at the pics of me and my ex. I went str8 to how he looked in the face and eyes and said to myself that is a pic of a person faking. It hurts sooo bad

I made that list. Two years ago already. Somehow it didnt quite land with me (i was still in the relationship). Then I started emdr twice a week after being discarded in January (while he turned out had a girlfriend already seven months apart from me) and realizing i was in a trauma bond . LIFE SAVER!! Emdr! And the thing is, as the trauma has been lifted, I can only now see the full madness and abuse in that list and I literally 🤮 every single day when I read that list 😮 now…. i couldnt feel it before. There was a mist in my head and feelings. But now the magnitude of the abuse is hitting me like never before and it actually makes me vomit realizing how bad it was 😢 like my system rejects him now ful force. Even though I sometimes still have this longing for the good times with him. Its sick shit… i re read the list then and get the physical reaction again. Time… i need time to heal. I will get there. But man… its so sick how he managed to complete trauma bond me abuse me and working on my underlying issues to never ever again accept something as horrific like this ever again

There will always be normal wonderful moments in any relationship, but with a narcissist,.they will always leave a black mark next to it,.to destroy you all over again

Euphoric recall for me was denying the Narcs abuse to other people, to fit in. Essentially it was people pleasing.

I used to gaslight myself.

Thanks so much for this video. I wish I had seen it years ago.

Thank you! XOXOXOX

God, I do so much suffer from euphoric recall. So bad that I even can’t remember the bad things that happend. And I get stuck all the time

Why go back to them when I got better

The ick list sounds a lot like what I've called "counting your curses". That's pretty much what it sounds like, the opposite of "counting your blessings" because "curse" is the opposite of "blessing", and while yes, it's good to count your blessings, it's like was said here, narcissists use your blessings (that they bestowed, because according to them how dare you count any blessing they didn't bestow or worse, one they don't like but what makes you happy). They use those blessings against you, so that you're forced to see only the good they did and blame yourself for your unhappiness. And so counting one's curses makes it harder for counting of one's blessings to do that. I would say it's a good idea to count blessings AND curses, and take stock of where those came from (which "curses" really were just life happening and which were contrived - a thing I wish more people would do because too many contrived "curses" are treated the same as the natural ones - and which blessings came from you or were otherwise offered freely, and which were conditional, and of the conditional ones which ones could be obtained another way that doesn't demand those same conditions).

You're brilliant

spent last 3+ yrs alone and isolated and understanding me and life find the why and it has changed me in a better manner i agree with all you say analyzed very well great work

Mum always posed us for photos.....even my friends were told how to stand.