How to stop hating yourself and become the person you deserve to be 

It needs to be acknowledged that society often associates dark skin with ugly. The fact that you’re pretty and happen to be dark skinned is shocking to some which is why it feels dystopian. I’m dark skinned with a dark skinned father, a light skinned mother, and sister. I often got compared to my sister and I’ve had people say to our faces that she was prettier. We look alike but she’s lighter. Unfortunately in my case hatred about my skin complexion came not only from my colorist mother but also other black people. My mother was my first experience of this telling me that I was too dark and my hair was too nappy. I was also encouraged to bleach my skin and relax my hair. Any compliments I got about my hair or complexion have been from non-black people. Colorism is subconsciously rampant in the black community and this unresolved trauma needs to be remediated. Fortunate for me, I’ve grown to love myself and find beauty in my complexion. Videos like yours definitely help with that and I appreciate you for using your platform to prove that black can be beautiful too. And you’re very lucky to have a supportive family!

As a dark skin girl who was bullied and unlearning everything. This is all facts! Being pretty is just a plus. I’m a beautiful person and going to continue being me. Also I love to help people get though hard times I have a way with words and this spirit that makes people want to just open and and talk to me about everything and I love that I can be that for people.

Sad thing is I went to a predominantly white and Hispanic school all my school years until 11th grade….. went to a predominantly black school and THAT is where people tried to make fun of my skin tone. It’s really our own people.

It's like ppl are surprised when a darker complexted woman is authentically confident in herself. Love to see more of this.

I am a black 15 year old girl and I'm soo inspired by your video because i sometimes get bully by my skin colour but watching your video makes me feel okay and happy

One thing that I love about myself is that I am growing into a person who can listen to multiple opinions and even change my own opinion when it no longer suites me😊

I have large lips. I am from africa. So, them soup coolers are huge. But, i when i wear that red lip hunty.... i feel like a vixen! I feel amazing with that. Thank you for this amazing video. As someone who was bullied by traumatized family members, i am the 1st person in my family to do therapy. I am being gaslit and told my dad wasnt abusive. He was. My mom hated our dark skin for whatever reason, she bleached her skin and made us feel like we would never be good enough. My sister believed it so much, she has bleached her skin to oblivion. My only problem is that I like being me and looking like a black woman. She constantly tells me how i am too dark and need to lighten my skin. She also wants me to lose weight and look more palatable to white men. Guess how much contact we have with each other?????? I have had to limit our interactions to phone conversation, because I notice that when we go out, she also wants me to be depressed. Limiting contact with her has been literally the best thing for me. I feel a lot better. I am still working on my inside joy, but limiting negative people in your life is so crucial!!!!!

It's crazy how many of us dark skinned women learned to hate ourselves. For people who think colourism is no big deal I wish they knew how much damage it causes and how it skews our experience of the world. It's only in my 30s now that I'm learning to love myself, and going back and loving the little black girls and the young women in me who never got the love she deserved. Part of my journey is following creators like you that look like me and seeing that there was never anything wrong with me. I was always beautiful ❤❤❤

My big sister sent me this because she said i can relate and she wants me to have this type of postive outlook in myself.

I also struggled with self esteem and confidence growing up and in my 20's because I never felt pretty enough or good enough as a dark skin women. I'm still working on my self confidence but one of the things I do love about myself is how much a genuinely care and love my family and friends, I truly am a kind-hearted person and want to be there for the people in my life.

your story is so inspiring. I was also bullied in middle school that really carried allot of self esteem issues into adulthood and fast forward currently and I found out my husband has been having an affair and it really has plummeted my self esteem 😭😭 he left me and out 1 year old daughter. I have so much work to do on myself while still trying to be a good mom😔😭

My tears!!! My daughter is having the same experience in an all BLACK school. My girl is cute and fashionable she’ll be 14 yrs old in 2 weeks. The hate is real for the “true” pretty girls. You are beautiful inside and OUT. Love your channel ❤

1. I love that I am able to understand that not everyone is like me, and that’s okay. 2. I’m not so judgmental anymore. Don’t get me wrong, imma still analyze and observe. But the cattiness and unnecessary comments on others appearances is gone. 3. Me working on how I communicate w others. I don’t know what it is but I can be very catty, passive aggressive, and quick to get and attitude. Even at my little cousins who range from 4 to 7(I’m not gonna reveal my age but I’m basically 18 lol) and I have been working so hard on making sure I speak to them in a kind, respectful, cheerful manner. They are kids and even generally speaking we should watch how we speak to people. I realized one day that a lot of times kids mimic what they see. If they get nasty attitudes and they aren’t even 10 yet it could be bc that’s what they are raised around. So although I may not be the direct source, I at least want to know I’m making my best effort to be a positive light in their lives. 4. Uplifting others and myself 5. How ANY body oil INSTANTLY makes my skin glow like crazy! 6. My type 4 hair that I’m loving even more. I’m a guy and I’ve been growing my hair out and I feel like no one really actually helped me out. Everything I’ve learned and done has been in my own. So to see my hairs growth and health and all my curly curls and coils when my hair is drenched in water and cantu. And yea I love cantu lol 7. I am highly aware that this video is made for darkskin BLACK women more than likely, as a somewhat feminine teenage boy who is gay and who wants long hair like yours I just want to say thank you. This video is really impactful. Thank you for uplifting darkskin women and everybody in general. Yes this post might have spelling errors but idc

Your bravery is appreciated 💐 Update:I love how much I forgive myself. I give myself enough grace to realize this journey is trial and error. 🙏🏾

This resonated so much who would’ve thought that 21 year old me would still be deeply affected by the things told to me in middle school. 😁 thank you for this video. One thing that I LOVE about me is my hair and also that I am very creative

This video really broke down years of struggling that I never understood into the simplest form. I’m worthy of being heard and seen. I have a beautiful creative mind. I have had the habit of picking people apart because I pick myself apart. Now I got to reprogram my mind to lift me up and lift others up. Damn! Thank you so much, you’re amazing.

"TALK TO ME NICE!" Yesss girl. I'm stealing that.

What I like about myself is my genuine kindness and sweetness. Those are the two compliments I get the most and it is just me being me ❤️. I appreciate you being vulnerable, I was bullied as well about my skin tone and many other things, all in all I'm glad I found your channel 🫶🏾.

I love the fact that I am smart with a PhD. but I am still damn cool and artistic. I love the fact that I enjoy encouraging others which is why I started my content creation journey and I really admire you - j Keep up the good works🙏🏾 blessings

I love that I am committed to becoming the best version of myself ❤

My kindness to others is so genuine and I just truly believe humans are love so I carry love with me daily and try my best to radiate happiness and love and fierce joy to others and give them the space to do the same ! ❤

I'm also dark skinned and got bullied like crazy...now everyone compliments my skin tone. I used to be so jealous of my sister because she's lighter than me and she told me one day that she wished she was my skin tone and how beautiful I am. Now there's absolutely nothing anyone can tell me. #my nickname is Tootie btw. As soon as you said Toots, I had to say that 😊

I love how I fell on your video after a virtual fellowship service for church. I definitely grew up with bullying and self esteem issues whether it was my body (plus size) down to my facial features. I recently did my second boudoir photoshoot and I loved every minute of it. I went through a self discovery (and it’s still continuing) back in 2019 where I had to start loving myself internally and externally. I never wanted to look in the mirror at myself as I felt unattractive to myself. So I had to make changes and it’s been a journey…a good one. I love my features even down to my scars, I love my smile, my laugh, and never being afraid to of my feminine side (dressy or a tshirt and jeans). I definitely have to give thanks so many thanks to God for bribing me this far as it’s been a long 20+ year journey to now know self acceptance. Great video sweetie!!!

lisa, i'm proud of you for reaching to become your authentic self even when its hard and it seems like not everyone appreciates it. hi Simone, I'm only sixteen but i feel like you've helped me prepare for the womanhood I'm about to step into, and through this video in particular. the energy you radiate it honestly everything to me and i learn so much from it. As a black girl who has some trauma from bullying it can be hard for me to have a strong foundation in who I am but everyday I'm learning and you've really played a part in me doing so Thank you and I love you for stepping out and being the example that can change lives 💗

You're dope sis. You should do a meet and greet in Atlanta. I'm pretty sure I'm older than you but honestly just love your vibe and what you represent as a dark skinned woman. Not just your outside, but your spirit is beautiful. I see you sis

I am proud of how much I love myself despite my dark-skinned not being shown that same love back in our media. I've built up my confidence and become more outgoing as i got older!! I love watching your videos and to hear about your self-love journey was just so heart warming 💗💗.

I love that I keep fighting, even when I feel discouraged. Thank you so much for this video Simone, I just turned 25 and you’re a huge inspiration to me and the journey of self improvement I’m on right now. Thank you for sharing with us ❤

It does work. Try this. Wake up and say I'm tired and watch how sluggish you feel all day. Vs waking up saying I'm energized. It makes a difference. I can only imagine what this will do for my self esteem.

I love the fact that no matter the situation I have the courage to defend what is right even though I will get into trouble. Thank u for this video it is really inspiring me as a black Muslim teenage girl to love myself no matter what.💗💗💗

I think I love my intellect, I love how hard I go for others. How I care. I love knowledge and trying to be a better version of myself always. I'm trying to learn to practice self acceptance more and let it exude outward like you said how does my energy affect others? Thank-you so much 🙏🏾 this was really healing I like how you reiterate how the world has an agenda to make us hate ourselves that alone makes me want to have more self compassion

I am so glad I found your channel. I can definitely relate!!! I'm 35 years old and just found confidence in myself. Must I say...a lot the same people that talked about me now tried to date me 😑

Hey Simone, Isn’t it crazy being the dark girl living in a world that has always glorified lighter people as the best. I am that chocolate woman and like you always lifted up from my family as beautiful. Thank God for family support. I too experienced days of not appreciating my beauty because for a while I allowed society to invade my space. I have always taken care of my mind, body, and my spirit. It was a struggle but at sixty years old I LOVE ME; not as a narcissist, just loving me. Your advice is priceless and so true. Love you Girl ❤❤❤❤. The thing I most Love about myself is learning to forgive those who have hurt me and moving on with my life. 😊

I love that I look like my beautiful mom❤ my forever angel🕊may my life be the biggest thank you to her😭miss you her so much❤

CAN YOU PLEASE MAKE A PART 2?! THIS VIDEO HAS SERIOUSLY HELPED ME🥺❤️

As an African people think that when you are dark skinned you’ll be valuable enough but sometimes it ain’t the case. I am not really comfortable in my body and days ago my mom called me and the first thing she told is “why are you so black what kind of lotion you put ” (I moved to Canada for study). Being in Canada for 2 years now it was difficult to find a lotion that’s good for me and she literally asked to put hydroquinone which is very dangerous and can cause skin cancer and I was devastated but I find this video very encouraging to find my true self and I know people won’t like it but I have to learn how to take care of my mental health first. Thank you and God bless you❤

I love how deeply I feel... how deeply I love and care. I've gone through abit of a hurdle so conjuring up an internal thing that I love about myself is a task.. but I'm working on it. Physically, I love my body... my waist 😂😂. My curves...Again, I went through itttt.... and I'm smaller than I've ever been ..so I didn't like myself for about 1.5 years.. after years and years of self love and unshakable confidence... but I changed my environment,got new.. friends and now...I actually love love love how I look and feel and a huge part of this is thanks to my bf😭❤️. I'd given up on my goals fr but I'm back up again. Thank you for this video ❤️ And I love seeing all the lovely women pour into themselves on here. Love and light ❤

I'll give an internal and external one.I love how passionate I am about the things I care about. I love my beauty mole. Thank you for sharing this video.

I love that no matter how imposible life seems, I never gave up my love and dependence in God. I know he always keeps me safe.

I love that I am a good listener and that enjoy spoiling the people I love ❤️ Thank you Simone, you are a queen frfr 👸

I love that I am smart and I love how I care for others.

Maybe I’m extremely bias but I thought you were strikingly beautiful and confident from day 1 of meeting you! I was soooo excited to meet you and embrace you! I’m so happy that you see what we see and you are living in your true you! Because you are that girl!! My self compliment: I love my drive, I love my grit! I love how I don’t give up!!

I love that I am a light to myself and the people around me. I love that I genuinely appreciate the simple things in life and that I feel so wholly abundant with the love that I have been gifted with. I love that I’m a poet at heart and that I can secretly sing up a storm. I love how much I appreciate my voice even though I haven’t shared it with anybody in years.

I love my silly and bubbly nature. I love to laugh and make others laugh. That’s one of the things I love about myself. Thank you gorgeous sis for sharing your vulnerability. It’s much needed and I appreciate you. Keep shining and inspiring Queen💯🙌🏽❤️

I’m so glad you made this video! Read a touching comment on one of your videos and I KNEW this had to be shared! You’re personality is so infectious and HEALING! Keep shining sis ✨💖

As another dark skinned woman I can absolutely absolutely relate thank you for this !

Thank you for sharing 🤎🤎 that being consistent is the glue to hold everything together ✨✨

Black here black girl with the black girl hair Took a little sunkiss just took like this God-sent, you're an angel (Angel)

The amount of people you are helping with this video!! I needed this today. Thank you sis!! ❤

I love that I care about people enough to listen with an open heart. Thank you Simone😊

I love that I never stop wanting to learn how I can be a better me mentally and physically.

I love that I communicate directly how precious others (family members and friends) are to me. I love that I admire beauty when I see it. I love that on some days I find myself beautiful. I love the clothing style that I am cultivating. I love my resurfacing determination. Ik God has set in me the ability to accomplish what I desire. And I love what I have accomplished and am excited for what’s to come.. Thank you Simone for this video and encouraging your viewers to comment. - My biggest takeaway from your video is that our world profits off of making us feel uncomfortable and oftentimes insecure with ourselves or parts. And it is beautiful to lead in adversity and choosing to love ourselves despite current trends. I also love how you mention being pretty is just a plus and what truly matters is who and how we are. I love the notion of sharing and leaving love and positive vibes where it is we are or were 🪄

This video was everything! Your transparency was so inspiring. Love that you expressed self love is a journey and that the things we go through shape us. However, it is up to US to use these things as tools to become the best version of ourselves. Well done! I love that I have a gentle spirit and I am able to make others feel safe! 💞

I really really needed this video today. Thank you Simome 🙏.

That "talk to me nice" was pppeeerrrsssonnnalll!!! And I'm here for it! The first shall be last and the last shall be first. Your journey mirrors the reckoning the entire country is having to deal with. Talk to you nice? Yes, ma'am! I sure will! 💕💯!!

I love that I am a optimist, helping people and myself always keeping that glass half full!!!

oh my goodness. you broke down years and years of self-loathing and hatred for me with this. it is hard to unlearn everything i forced myself to perceive as fact. thank you for this, so much.

I love me! I’m a work in progress and learning to identify and appreciate all these nuances about myself! Now, wonderful video! You’re a beautiful soul inside and out, keep being you! ❤️

I love love LOVE you for this vid! As you requested. One thing that I love about myself that is a hybrid of internal and external is my journey of loving my skin. I grew up being the darkest in the family which created a whole complex. As an adult I developed a skin condition which is stripping the melanin from my skin. So I really started missing the same skin that I grew up being ashamed of. I went through a stage of wanting to hide myself and my skin condition resorting to dressings like a nun. One day I woke up and said no more. I proudly show my skin now and have accepted this lack of melanin. I love dressing up and looking good for me. It may seem small to some but it is a big accomplishment for me. So happy to be on this side of things.

I enjoyed this talk. I needed to hear all of this. One thing that I love about myself is that I’m dedicated to feel and show myself self love and that I am learning to accept things about myself. ❤

I love how encouraging and supportive I am x Thank you for this video xx

Yesssss👏🏾 i remember being in HS & being in fashion club with you !! Love seeing your page grow & seeing you shine! You’ve always gave off larger than life energy & always SO kind . Loved this video 🎉 Godspeed !

This video could NOT have been more timely🥹I mean literally everything you said is what I’ve been feeling this summer. I have a long history with negative self talk and low self-esteem and this summer, I came face to face with it all. I have never felt more independent and confident than I do now! Hearing that someone like you had experienced the same things honestly gives me hope. You are such a bright light, Simone. Thank you for sharing a piece of that and your knowledge with us!❤

I love how I can listen to a good song and envision all the good things coming into my life

You are absolutely stunning I'm so so happy I came across your channel a month ago. In you I feel represented. Such wholesome content. Thank you.❤

I appreciate your Beauty. One thing I felt good about myself today, I'm able to be inspired by my sister's around the world. 🥰 Thank You

I love that you did this video. It has been instrumental to me in immeasurable ways! Since watching your videos, I've changed the way I approached this summer. I'm outta town for work and I started to revert to old thinking and went back to negative self talk. Then I watched this video. You reminded me to be me and utilize your suggested steps. Also people pay real folding money for this advice! I know...I'm one of them ☺️. I feel better cause i can get back on track with tangible steps. What I love most about myself is my ability to draw people together for a common goal and have fun🥰. I'm most comfortable in those moments. Thank you so much for being you and sharing your content! All God's best to ya! P.s. you're killin the fit and the hair & makeup 😉💕💕

Thank you for being honest and open about your journey to self love. So many people pretend they naturally have always loved everything about themselves. I know complete acceptance and love for myself as a dark skin woman is near

This is basically free therapy. ❤❤❤ Appreciate this so much! Much love❤️

This video was truly heaven sent for me I literally needed to come across it!..I went through so much hell when I was younger about being dark skin then boom flash to now I get talked about because I’m skinny and literally just yesterday someone made a comment and made me feel so low to be able to come across this today made me feel so pretty inside and out I really can’t even express it!…❤ Thank you so much for posting this!!! You are such an inspiration! I definitely tried out the writing it down!!!

I Love that I am a Genuinely a Loving person. My Goal is to reflect that same love to myself. Sis big thank you for this video ❤

This video couldn't have come at a better time. I grew up in an environment where expressing myself was shunned and I was ridiculed for having a bunch of interests that I would cycle through overtime. And looking back now, I think that's where my self-hatred stemmed from. I was forced to make myself small because it made others uncomfortable. But now, it's one of the things I love about myself the most. I love to love. I love art in all its forms and I love when I get experience things and people who make me feel fulfilled. It took a long way to get here but I am so proud of myself. Thank you so much Simone for being an authentic and genuine inspiration. You deserve all the love and light this world has to offer! ❤

I love how creative I am. My mind can come up with some shit and I’m always entertained by my thoughts. I love that my mind visualizes things so vividly. I love that I had such a kind heart.

I love teaching people about what I have learned, I love sharing things that will empower and change a person's life. I'm naturally a teacher and a carer. Great informative video by the way❤

I love that I’m a great conversationalist. People love talking to me, and I’m a great listener

I love that I’m compassionate and care about not hurting other’s feelings

I love that I move based on my perspective and not everyone's perspective. You're so well spoke and gorgeous ❤ confidence in a young black woman really eats. You ate girl and left no crumbs😊

I’m a complete stranger, yet I am beyond happy for uu and so very very proud of uu!!

This video is everything I never knew I needed. Thank you! ❤❤❤

I love how a am relentlessly committed to do something when I set my mind to it

Self love is just the other side of self hate. They both revolve around a deeply self centered disposition. These are two like paths towards despair and meaninglessness.

Absolutely love and appreciate this video. Thank you so much for being you! I love my compassion for others.

I really enjoy your couch's talks! everything you said honestly, I'm writing it down. Thank you girl!

it’s been such a long time that I’ve actually stayed and listened to a whole video about self love & becoming your best self. Usually when I do look at videos about self love, it doesn’t really stick with me, but this one did. Even in my late twenties - I still struggle with genuinely loving myself whole & not letting the world’s “beauty standards” control how i should look etc etc, it’s been the longest journey, but I’m definitely working towards it. I as well, got so many compliments when I was a little girl of how pretty & beautiful I was. But soon as I got older that’s when the bullying started, mainly because of my weight which formed so many insecurities in me til this day.. listening to the advice just made so much sense to me. I’m not consistent when it comes to telling myself I’m beautiful, and saying my affirmations- but I want to challenge myself to say amazing things about myself for a whole week just to really see how I feel. Thank you again for this beautiful amazing video. Self love is key. ❤️

Thank you for your love and transparency. I really needed to hear this.💚

Something I love about myself is my resilience to keep going and slowly improving ❤. And my ability to learn. Thank you for this video!!

This is one of the most inspiring and positive videos on learning self-love and self-acceptance that I have ever seen. All that I can say right now is Beautiful, Magnificent, Teaching, Ever-learning! One of the many takeaways for me is that I will always make sure to tell little dark-skinned girls how beautiful they are, especially if their hair is natural (not hating on non-naturals). I'll also tell their parents how beautiful their child is. Little sis, you've said a mouthful! 💐

I love my resilience and optimism. I love that I'm taking small steps everyday to improve myself. Thanks for this video.

I love that I am super dedicated to pursuing my own happiness and peace. Girl. I was saying yes the whole video. I was like “ that’s my friend, that’s my boo”. I am super proud of you and incredibly inspired by your journey. You literally are light, violently shining from within 👑💅🏾☀️

I really love that I have this wonderful ability of making people open up and helping them with their mental challenges.I like how family orientated you are.There was the vlog where your neice was graduating and you prepared games for your family and not to mention your gorgeous vessel called a body

I love the fact that I am positive the type of person who tries to see the good in everyone. Thanks Simone I really enjoyed your video you are such a smart and beautiful young lady GOD Bless ❤

I love my ability to love, give grace, and have empathy. I just need to do those things to the right people. Thank you for this video, love you 🤍

I love the fact that I work on taking advantage of my own boredom to discover new things. I listened to opera during the pandemic and it's become a sweet pasttime of mine. On the other end, I was recently curious about MF DOOM and I've been slowly going through his albums. I'm thinking about the long-term, because I want to look back on my life and be happy about all the various hobbies I discovered. Thank you so much for making this video, I have had deep insecurities for awhile now and I've been slowly chipping away at them to get to my soul underneath. The world gets harder but you make me feel so ready to have fun at life ❤ Huge blessings and LOVE the corset!!

All the the things I was moved bullied for are the things about myself I love the most. But the one on the top of my list is how nice I am. Everyone always says I’m too nice and too sensitive and I need to develop tough skin and stop being soo nice. But I love that I can be that one nice, compassionate, genuine person in this cold world we living in. Not gonna let no experience or person change that about me. Also loved this video! Thank you for sharing!

I love when I am calm and patient 🤍

I love that I'm very soft/kind, its such an amazing way to be ❤

I Love the way I am Healing. Thank you for this Video! Well said my good SIS!!

I love the joy that I have when I think about myself.

I love how generous, I am with my time, money, etc

This was so beautiful. I teared up with you because this struck on a soul level. My sisters should never have to feel this way EVER, and society standards are genuinely the largest scam to be constructed. The reality of everything you said is a painful history to overcome because brown/dark skin women hands down some of the most gorgeous goddesses I have EVER seen. I’m so grateful for you melanated queens! I love you for this sis 🙏🏽✨

I love that I can always see the best in others.