The sad part is that most women get treated better when they look “pretty” according to societal standards. + A lot of women don’t want to miss out on the pretty privilege treatment. But the real question is who cares if is we miss out on that superficial treatment?We are worth way more than what we look like!! + not needing that validation will make us attract genuine people who want a genuine relationship just like us💕
Great comment! Why do we try to get attention from people for our looks? That's how an object with no mind or consciousness gets regarded as. Why would anyone want to strive to be an object? There are men who will date a plastic doll. Why would any woman want to appeal to someone with no discernment or standards. It doesn't matter if people like that treat you better 😂 their opinions are of no value. It reminds me of an Instagram model that went to a conference to meet her fans. She was excited about meeting her crowds of followers. Then she did an interview after the conference and said she's deciding to close down her account. Some of the fans she met at the conference were creepy and disgusting. It wasn't worth the money just knowing she appealed to so many creeps. I guess on paper, she thought she would have tons of level headed, handsome fans 😂 she enjoyed the ego boost of getting tons of attention and gifts but then she saw who was mainly giving that attention to her and she couldn't do it anymore.
My body is a prize for me. I have been single since 2019 after a 21 year marriage to a Husband who ignored me sexually. I never gave up the gym, my sauna, my food choices. He left me for a woman who is borderline obese. He resented the time I spent on myself ( also to look good on his arm) Fill your own cups ladies. You be your own best selves... Life is not a competition. Hair will grow back, fat can be lost, muscle can be gained. As for me, my habits have not changed. I am still doing my thing. 😊❤
I can’t stress enough how valuable and important your channel is. I know your channel will continue to grow and you will continue to help so many women ❤ thank you so much 🙏🏽💙
I have the same thoughts! ❤ so grateful for your channel, your intelligence and warmhearted intention. Also your voice and the birds sounds in your videos. So good to listen to 🥰
loved this video! as a south asian girl i don’t meet the eurocentric beauty standards and i used to get made fun of for having dark thick upper lip hair and having darker spots etc and i spent so long trying to make myself appear white until i just realised that i don’t want to fit in anymore i want let girls who look like me know it’s ok to embrace your ethnicity and your heritage. keep doing what you’re doing ❤
for me beauty is important because it makes me feel more confident. when i don’t look nice i feel insecure and shy, like i want to hide away from the world. this isn’t fair to myself. it’s like my self worth is tied into how i look… as you can see this mindset isn’t healthy lol. i hope to change it. ty for this video❤️
Your videos mean a lot to me - they are finally helping me start to care less about my looks, and stop seeking external validation. My partner tells me I should stop caring so much but he hasn’t experienced life through the female lens, where there is so much value placed on our looks. It’s a long journey but I’m trying! Thank you so much ❤️
@@justkeepgrowing1994 Omg! Go you my lovely. You are clearly putting in the work to value yourself deeply. It’s you that you have to thank, not me! 🥰❤️😘 xxxx
something that really shifted my perspective on all this was realizing that having “pretty privilege” doesn’t protect women from patriarchy and misogyny. you can spend all your time, money, and energy to look a certain way for men, but they can instantly change their mind and decide that you have no value if you do something they don’t like or agree with.
Look what u say is right. But the world isn't changing and I want to live happily in it. If putting effort into my looks means men don't treat me sub human, or get completely overlooked then yes I am gonna do it. Look idk ur ethnicity or what u look like but the girl like the one in the video naturally fits the ideal even if she stops actively participating but me? If I am not busting my ass off I will always be single and get treated like shit
@@gamorapotter9946 i mean…men who treat women they’re not attracted to like they’re subhuman will still treat you like you’re subhuman, they’ll just hide it a tiny bit better until you do something to upset them. i used to feel the same way as you but i stopped putting men on a pedestal and now i no longer give a single shit what they think about anything. decentering men was the best thing i ever did. free yourself fr
This video is so important ❤ I wish I had learnt this when I was in my 20s. My then boyfriend was so hard on me because of my appearance. I was never enough for him so he used to tell me how I should look to be perfect. By the time we broke up I didn’t even know myself, I was just the beauty obsessed girl that he had created and it took a lot of time and effort to connect with my true self again… I think we as women need to take care of each other and spread this message.
I think we all wish we learned this lesson earlier in life! I was working in hairstyling and esthetics in my early 20s and many of the women who would come in on a regular basis would "joke" about how they need to maintain their looks so their husbands/ partners don't cheat on them or leave. Me being in my 20s at that time would laugh along with them but now, I realized how sad that was. That their marriages and relationships were built on something so shallow and impermanent. Even if it wasn't their husbands putting that thought in their minds in each case, it was the fact that they believed that they weren't worthy of being with their partners unless they looked a certain way. They basically bathed themselves in chemicals and put themselves at risk of long term health issues just to look a certain way for external validation.
I'm so sorry your ex boyfriend said that hurtful stuff to you. I'm so glad you are away from him and that you have worked to connect with your true self again. I'm proud of you for making the effort because it can be super difficult. 💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗
I’m 19 and currently 9 months pregnant, I have been so so hard on myself everyday about how much weight I’ve gained and how many stretch marks I have all over my body, I’ve even questioned and stressed over whither or not my bf is still attracted to me and so scared of how I will look when my baby comes, stretch marks, no longer having a flat belly etc, I’ve even had loads of comments from people about how big I am like it’s a bad thing, my baby is so healthy and never had any issues, I feel so bad that I even wasted anytime looking in the mirror and hating the way I look and being worried about what others think when I’m growing life, as a woman our bodies are meant to go threw this change, but for some reason we still fixate on the fact that we have stretch marks and compare bump sizes like that even matters if the baby and you are healthy!, I’m trying to get out of this obsession with how I look before the baby comes before I go threw postpartum I do not want to look in the mirror after having a baby and hating anything I see, I’m also going to stop looking at old photos of myself crying over the fact I’ll never look like that again, it’s so hard when we get made to feel like shit even when pregnant x
alessia i hope you know how much your videos mean to me a guy commented on how i looked today and it made so insecure abt something i didnt even notice before this is exactly what i needed bless u
@@urrockstargf111 Aw my love I’m so sorry you were made to feel insecure today:( I am sending you a big hug. You are sooo much more than your body and face. You are a valuable and beautiful soul! 😘❤️💕✨
Hi Alessia, thanks for the healing video❤❤❤ I just wanted to say that a year ago I commented on your birthday video (as it’s my birthday today) saying that I was having a sad birthday and your video helped me a lot - I’m happy to say that my life is a lot different now and my birthday today was filled with joy and love. Your response to my comment a year ago made me feel much better that day so I just wanted to give you a happy update😊 I hope you’re enjoying your summer x
Hi my lovely. Omg, I remember your comment! 💗 Thank you so much for reaching out again, I'm so blimming chuffed that your birthday was filled with joy and love this time! Happy belated birthday btw! 🥰💗 Your comment has really really warmed my heart. I hope you're enjoying your summer too xxx💗💗💗
I try to unlearn this obsession with each passing month but it's really difficult when it's all you've known and been taught from the very beginning as a girl. On some days I purposely don't put on makeup because there is legit no reason to as I'm not even leaving my home that day. Also trying to ignore the nasty looks / rude stares some people throw my way when I'm out and about. I felt way better when I cut my hair short again (pixie cut) and now I don't care about how men probably hate it. It's their issue. My hair, my choice. I'm nobody's property 🚫 😌
💛💛💛 Thank you so much for sharing your story my lovely. It is difficult to unlearn these things. I totally get you feeling better having short hair. 💛💛💛 Sending you a big hug x
Thank you so much for these beautiful, kind,and wise words, Alessia ❤ You are a treasure and angelic soul 😊 Sending you much love and many warm wishes ❤
Human beings by our nature love beauty things. This goes for both men and women. Even pets who are cuter get more love and attention. Or inanimate objects that are percieved as beautiful are valued more. I've just accepted that fact of life now.
Think im gonna share this video with the girls i used to babysit when i was an au pair. They are 15 and 13 now. I wish someone told me at an earlier age❤️
Words cant explain how much your videos truly help me be my best self! Felt like this video was made for me personally haha, already know these tips will help me tremendously :) i am so so grateful for your channel Alessia! Just wanted to say thank you for creating content that is so refreshing and valuable to us woman, wish I found you sooner!
I totally get why you struggle to not focus on your appearance lovely. 💚 This RU-vid channel is a safe space for you to talk about this. Sending a big warm hug your way x
