How to Stop Getting TRIGGERED Forever 

We suffer more in imagination than in reality!

"What disturbs people are not THINGS themselves but their JUDGMENTS about the THINGS." ~ Epictetus

Here is a process I’m using to manage my anxiety and feelings of worthlessness, and express my feelings and needs. I think they are taken from Patricia DeYoung’s book on chronic shame and Pete Walker’s CPTSD book. 1. Be aware of the feeling I'm having, and give myself permission to feel it. It may feel silly or scary or ridiculous, but giving myself permission to feel it makes it less scary. Don't compare myself with what I think of as normal, or to others. They may seem like they have it all together, but I'm probably comparing my insides to their outsides. Maybe inside they are just as lost and cowardly as I am. 2. Explore where this feeling comes from. I don't think I need to explore my whole past, but I need to ask myself the simple question: "Is this a feeling about NOW or about the past?" Usually, because I was discouraged from feeling certain feelings as a child, the intense feelings are from the past. Resmaa Menakem says, "Whatever is hysterical is historical." 3. Ask myself if that feeling is warranted given the present circumstances. 4. If not, I don't berate myself for having those feelings, and I don't give myself permission to be passive. I try to live in this moment, responding to this moment and not reacting to the past. So, I feel the feeling and 'do it anyway.' Here's an example. I want to ask my boss for a few days off. 1. I feel anxious, fluttery heart, tension in my forearms. Others may not feel anxious asking their boss for a few days off, but I do. So it's okay to feel that feeling. What am I afraid of? I'm afraid my boss will make a scene and make me feel bad. I'm afraid others will see me asking for a day off and think I'm a shirker. I'm afraid I won't get the time off, so my plans will be ruined. I'm afraid of causing a hassle for my boss and my co-workers . . . 2. I remember being teased by my older siblings for showing any sort of emotional neediness, like I was too sensitive. I also remember being praised by my parents for never complaining, and for feeling shamed whenever I asked for something. Like somehow my desires weren’t valid, no matter how simple they were. 3. This feeling can't be about today because my boss is very sweet, and it's in our contract that we can ask for vacation days. I see lots of others asking for days off, and he always approves them without any sort of protestation. 4. Ok. So, just feel those feelings, feel that anxiety. I settle my body a bit by breathing deeply and rhythmically for a few moments. I dont’ expect the anxiety to disappear altogether, but just reduce it a bit so I have a bit more conscious control . .Then I go ask my boss for a few days off. This routine has really helped me see what fears are from the past AND to live in the moment without denying my feelings or cowering in the corner. And every time I feel the fear and do it anyway, every time I exercise my will, I exorcise my demons and become more fully whole, a bit more healed. More able to feel and act. More able to have and express my feelings. A few more thoughts. Oftentimes neglect is a more powerful form of hurt than abuse. If my feelings, my being is not even noticed, my being alive must really be inconsequential. I must really be invisible. I must be worthless. If someone abuses me, at least I know that someone sees me and I'm worth being, if only to be abused. Oftentimes vulnerability is equated with sharing of weaknesses. I think sharing our strengths and enthusiasms can also be quite vulnerable. If I show my talents others can criticize or ignore; if I share my enthusiasm, I can be shamed and ridiculed. So we learn not to shine. All this self-work has not only helped me be more compassionate with myself, but also to treat others with love, with compassion and curiosity rather than judgement. I'm starting to see people as children who happen to have aged. We're all just looking for love and acceptance, for someone to notice us and value us, and how we were raised influences how we attempt to get those needs met.

if you have trauma from past or anything, your anxiety will be triggered even tho there is no danger right now. We'll carry that fear with us for many years to come and it will affect every aspect of our life. It's basically like an invisible handicap

"We're triggered now by what we devasted by then" - Beautifully put :'")

Being alive is so hard

This video is remarkably accurate! My therapist has said, “If a response is hysterical, it’s historical.”

The eyes turning into scribbles that eventually fill the screen is so creepy and so accurate to the feeling

It is very important to understand your triggers and where they come from, almost all of them are deep rooted in the childhood. Going back to your inner child and understanding what and how it felt and giving yourself permission to navigate helps a lot. Personally self awareness of myself took lot of time and looking at yourself as an outsider helps to see what you are feeling rather than absorbing in the feeling it self. Go back to your childhood and come back with lessons and please forgive yourself and accept everything that’s the only way folks. Wish you all healing ❤

Been trying to recover from trauma: psychedelics helped to start the ball rolling, IFS therapy for almost a year now. But what really started to shift things was working on forgiveness (it's been very hard and painful work). It's interesting as I get triggered less. It's like the more I am able to work on forgiveness the safer my inner child feels. Perhaps it sees it like that: if I am able to consider forgiveness that means the events happened in the PAST, that I am safe NOW. That I am mature now, I can defend myself now and manage my emotions. With trauma the concept of time is very important. Our inner child/children usually are stuck in the past. Once we start inviting them into the PRESENT and show them that it is safe now they relax. As a result we relax too. Trauma changes the brain. The amygdala becomes over-reactive whereas pre frontal cortex gets under active. Result: when triggered we feel strong emotions first, then we don't understand why we react that way. Good news are: it's possible to reverse that.

This is all true, but trauma is stored in the body. When one gets intensely triggered one enters the fight, flight or freeze state and it becomes extremely difficult to intellectually process what may be going on. The flooding that one experiences comes from the body and that is where the trauma needs to be addressed and re-processed.

I always feel guilty for my social anxiety. I wish I could be more receptive and honest but my brain literally turns off in 99.999% of social situations lately.

“We can’t distinguish between something they’ve done that got them sent to prison and something we’ve done that won’t ever be noticed”. I relate to that SO BADLY.

"We want our awful hunches confirmed" this really resonated with me because I'm always wondering why I actively look at things that I know are gonna trigger me. It never made sense to me why I did this. Been working on my Shadow for over 2 years now, sometimes it feels like I'll never heal this wound.

also remember to forgive yourself when you are triggered. It will take a while for us all to process what is actually happening

I have a trigger that surfaces around a relative who exhibits narcissist behaviors, verbal abuse and toxic gossip. I've gone no contact as much as possible but at family gatherings I can't get out of, my body reacts with panic. I'm trying to fix it but it's harder when someone else is involved.

unless you have people in your life that trigger you on purpose

Thank you for this. The drawing with the family where the mother is close to one child but the other child stands alone. I have a photo where my mother and brother stand close to each other and I am standing alone. I was neglected and alone all my childhood while my mother and brother were best buddies. I get triggered a lot and my family just don't understands. This is hell sometimes for everyone but I am getting better.

Another useful tool I've learned to use myself comes from Stoicism; specifically a realization of the fact that you can't control what other people do/say/think/feel/etc.; only how you choose to react to them.

I would love a video distinguishing triggers and re traumatization. We normalize a lot of mistreatment and abuse in society and people who were abused before correctly identify mistreatment but they are told they are " just being triggered" basically they are being gaslighted again into normalizing mistreatment and made to gaslight themselves also again. It's not the same to be in a safe situation and have a memory of an unsafe experience than to again be in another unsafe situation. Although now being adults, there are so many adults in positions of vulnerability that make it very similar to being a child. You can't quit that job, you can't get out of that relationship, you can't afford therapy, or a gym, etc. Not everyone actually have these options. Sometimes people try to do it anyways and end up in even more vulnerability without the job, etc We need to acknowledge trigger is not the same as re traumatization

I always understand why i am triggered. Given enough time, i can competently calm myself. But in the moment, i need to behave well in spite of my horrendeous anxiety.

All emotional triggers are due to feelings of low self-worth AKA "are we worthy of connecting with other people". This is rooted in childhood if our parents tended to our needs or not. If they consistently neglected our needs, we feel unaccepted and unworthy of love. This manifests in our future lives when we perceive that we are being devalued, triggering our old feelings of unworthiness. "Perceived" is the key word here because it can be something like someone not replying to our text quickly enough, someone disagreeing with our opinions, or even seeing a person who's more successful than us in some aspect. It triggers the deeply rooted core belief within us that we are worthless and don't matter even if there are no ill-intentions. Truly, I don't know how to heal a person who's been wounded like this, and looking at the general population it looks like most people don't as well. All I know is that it can be prevented. So, try your best not to F your kids up.

Still working on mine. Discovering trauma based therapy was a true revelation for me. I had been in traditional therapy for so long, and hit a wall. The best thing about trauma based therapy is that many organizations that deal with domestic/child abuse, and the YWCA provide this free or at a low cost. Breathing exercises, grounding mindfulness practices, and loving kindness and gratitude exercises along with yoga and walking my dog are super helpful for me. Having a dog is wonderful in so many ways. They love you. You can cuddle them. They need to go out, so you need to exercise, and consider another creature's well being.

Love is the answer? Being hugged is the answer? Good thing I’ve got my Sailor Moon hug pillow.

Once I detached from people they failed to trigger me. I’m around people but they’re just objects in my path. I’m self absorbed and all about me now🧚🏾‍♀️💕🥰😎

I can't stand kindness. The smallest amount brings me to tears. I can't stand it. I don't know it.

This helps me feel better about when I’m triggered. More self compassion.

I love this video. 90% of the population are getting triggered every single day and instead of dealing with it they’ll overeat, take drugs, drink alcohol, scroll through social media or seek attention in destructive ways. Keep up the good work 👏 #growthmindset

5:17 is frighteningly accurate as someone who had a depressing 10 years of adulthood. When I gave into my triggers they became familiar to me and I began seeking out people and things to confirm what I was going through, no matter how harmful they were, while shunning experiences that didn't conform to what I felt inside. As a result I ended up pushing away family and friends. I'm glad I was able to get the help from a therapist and through practicing mindfulness it helped me to avoid negative experiences and accept influence from role models in my life. In turn the love of people in my life also helped with coming to terms with what was triggering me. To those of you going through the process of grief know that there are people who care, you need only seek them out.

As a teacher of Spinoza and Gurdjieff philosophies and teachings. I have learned the importance of triggers. Events that are disappointed, when desires are not met, feelings of rejection, or being misunderstood. Our emotions are being triggered. Emotions of desire, pain, hate, and anger, communicate our state of being confused. We cannot willfully change or stop triggers. Growth is seeing and understand our triggers. I am looking for students who want a meaningful and purposeful life.

Whatever the question/problem, the answer/solution is love

I like the statement that feelings are our own signals to ourself about our needs. Feelings, and by extension trauma and triggered feelings, tell us about our needs and our experience and perception of whether they are / are not being met or will / will not be met. Been learning to listen to my traumatic feelings as not a fixed external reality but as telling me what I'm anticipating and what I need, a signal that can help me meet those needs.

this is my biggest problem for social media my mom and dad took my phone away when i first started high school because i just came out and told them i was gay (still am) they thought social media made me gay, but i realized i was gay wayyyy before highschool and it made me so mad and sad because i didnt have friends since i was an introvert and everybody knew i was gay and theres that stigma of "who wants to be seen hanging out with a gay kid who dresses feminine" my parents straight up said "if u were straight we wouldnt have taken your phone" but my lil brother got an iphone and hes only 11 yo?! it made me so enraged at that time because i didnt have any friends and all my friends were online. I'm 18 now w an iphone 14 and I hate to think about the situation but "its over now" so my family just acts like it didnt happen and swep it under the rug. but they "still and always loved me" though but never even wanted to hear/care/tried to understand my point of view of being gay..im shaking rn typing this out because of the past intense emotions of sadness and rage that i dont wana to come back up again. I am still gay.

This actually really resonates with me. Last Saturday I went to a local (relatively big) choir for the first time, and the teacher separated us in the usual groups: sopranos, contraltos, tenors, etc. The criteria for this separation is generically the extension of voice, i.g., higher pitch female voices sing as sopranos and lower pitch female voices sing as altos. I haven't frequented such a big choir in years. I did sing in my university choir for a bit last year, but it was just starting out, besides, most people who were there were learning how to sing for the first time, whereas I have had individual and choir lessons since a was a child. I actually stopped attending such lessons during my highschool years, so I'd be able to cram for my university entrance exam, (that was four years ago). Moreover, I was always told by my teachers that I was a soprano, and that I didn't reach the characteristically high notes that I was supposed to "because I was too nervous". This made some sense, as I managed to sing them quite well in my bathroom shower, when I thought no one was listening. I was always very insecure and shy when it came to my voice. Anyways, I knew that I was a medium fish in a very small pond in my university choir. I knew I had not done any exercises seriously in years, and even if I did, I could not expect myself to sing like a Maria Callas or Anna Netbreko. Also, voices change as they mature, even female voices. I knew all these things. Still, I was very surprised when I was put to sing with the altos! "But why?" I asked my teacher, already feeling a little unbalanced. "Because you are a mezzo soprano." She answered. "You may have those high notes, but it's your lower tones that are the most lovely!" she said. She then started looking at me rather concerned. And that was when I noticed I had started crying. Convulsively and unconsciously, there I stood, my tears pouring more and more as I tried to hide my face with my hands, -- not myself understanding why I was having such an extreme reaction to being told I was a mezzo soprano. And my gentle teacher let me cry. She then said that it was okay for me to react that way, that maybe I was feeling overwhelmed because I was finally going to sing in a group again, and that maybe I should find a therapist to talk to. "Maybe," She said, "It's okay to cry. I cry at 61 like a child, and you are just 19. You don't have to hold yourself back from what you are feeling. There is no need to feel embarrassed. But why don't you try to find out what is really hurting you?" I am actually so grateful that she was there for me at that moment. I did already imagine that I had a few issues from my childhood or adolescence that associate my self-image to my singing voice. That's probably the reason why I did not get back to my lessons as soon as I entered university. Nevertheless, I thought that I had automatically overcome them, after all, "that was all in the past". Now I am beginning to accept that that's not the case, and that singing is not something trivial to me. It's an important part of my life and identity, and I should not stop myself from acknowledging that just because I that feel my singing is inadequate and not as good as it should be. To sing is one of the greatest wonders in my life. And, Thank you, School of life, for the wonderful video!

Truth is we all thrive for people to tell us what we know about what we should do to be complete with ourselves and never actually do something to empower ourselves or to put ourselves at risk in life. We comfort ourselves in the fact that "we know things".

Triggers are often an expression of trauma. People need to respond with compassion. Not everyone has had the ability to deal with it or had the support to deal with it. First step is to understand what your triggers are and having a strategy for dealing with it. A lot of my triggers are about my self image because of my formative life experiences that were out of my control. Does that mean I should be responsible for dealing with them? Yes. But I also need the people around to me know about the emotional toll it takes to deal with it. I am learning to love myself and appreciate me. It’s taken me years but it’s mainly because I could never really afford good therapy so I have taken it on myself to fix the broken parts of myself. I have come a long way but like everything in life your human frailties are a constant work in progress. So my advice to everyone is to keep learning and growing. We are never the finished article and everybody has issues. Don’t bear yourself up if you have triggers, I think most humans do, the trick is to learn what they are so you can deal with it. Thanks for the video, thought provoking.

Venting doesn't release pressure. It only intensifies it later from the training effect. When people cheer and shout for their team, they don't feel less jubilant. Contrary. They feel more jubilation and the next time it grows. Awareness of your emotional response is the first step. Then you must practice the control. The training effect can work for you just as it can work against you. Take control. Use the training effect to practice your intended response. It takes time and effort, but you can overcome all the negative programming in your biocomputer by practicing your intentions more than your automatics. You must be the master programmer of your bio computer!

Family scapegoat. The holidays wore my defenses down, plus a flashback. Tomorrow starts fresh but today was messy. Rewatching this. Thank you. Bless.

I've been going through this my whole adult life, and I still feel kind of like I'm just getting started. Like a few others have said, trauma is stored in the body, as well as in the mind. As someone else said, sometimes you're triggered by a legitimate problem that's in front of you; sometimes by something trivial that reminds you of the distant past. Sometimes it's both. I have come to think of it as "little me" reacting like a child; there's almost two of me there, the adult self, and the little one, kind of competing for control. There are lots of things I've tried that work for me; none of them by themselves. It takes everything: * inner child work -- when I get upset, sometimes I just sit down and have a quiet conversation with "little me," offering to be their protector and nurturer, stay with them, and give them the things that they didn't get when they were little. * EMDR -- in a safe and calm environment, carefully sort back through the past, finding what's associated with this triggering experience; and lovingly rewrite that memory, so that the vulnerable me who was so deeply injured has emotional tools and support that he didn't have at the time. So the next time my mind chooses to rewind to that place, it finds a less volatile memory to draw on. * "feeling my feelings" -- sitting or lying down and meditating, keeping myself calm through breath control and the like, and asking myself "how do I feel right now?" and letting myself answer that question honestly. Asking only how I feel, and not why, because my emotional self has no idea why. * When I'm not in the middle of a triggered episode, using my logical brain to sort through all this other crap, and figure out what I really need to move forward. I used to think that nothing would help; but since learning a whole bunch of tools, and getting a whole bunch of support from people who legit understand, I've actually cast off triggers. There are memories and experiences that I used to be paralyzed by, that are trivial now. I don't know what works for other people, but these things truly work for me.

The crazy scribble eyes is exactly how it feels lol

Missed Alain's voice so much. TSOL videos hit different when it's him

I found numbing myself and feeling nothing has helped immensely I use distractions to get through the day so I’m not an emotional wreck.

"What does my worry about what will happen, tell me about what did happen?"

Whoa! Hearing you say that we are often drawn to our triggers through a compulsive sense of familiarity sparked an instant enlightenment within me as to why I repeatedly chosen partners who are emotionally unavailable to me, exactly how my childhood caregivers were. Thank you!

Such an important video, saving for reference. 💛💛💛 a lot of my triggers are smell related, which is specific to my trauma. Any gas smell, rotting anything, hospital smells, etc. I've done a lot of work however and these things become a bit more manageable heading into my 30's. Stable emotional regulation is still a long and difficult process!

You guys really need to share the audio from the videos to either SoundCloud or Spotify, there’s no other content that I’ve actually wanted to listen to while keeping my eyes closed

As someone who gets very triggered with blood and graphic bodily injuries and is working in medical field, this was comforting to watch. I know my many triggers, but I'm struggling to overcome them.

I grew up in New Jersey in the 60's and 70's The whole reason for being back then was to trigger people...Getting a rise out of was considered "a win"...NOT being triggered was an absolute necessity to remaining viable...Once people knew they could push your buttons the harassment never stopped

Certainly sounds deeply relatable to a situation I was living these days. My history of hostile, violent or otherwise unpleasant rejections has made me extremely wary of putting myself out there, and these days I'm regretting not taking a step forward towards someone potentially interested just because I was too afraid to be violently rejected again. I haven't started working on it recently but quite a while ago. And it'll take a while more by the looks of it.

I have only a couple of triggers and now go out of my way to avoid the situations where I can likely foresee something happening. In the last couple of years my anxiety has decreased significantly because of the strategizing. :)

Good one. I gave up on any self-help videos long ago, but this one was simple, clear and irrefutable. Added, it helps getting older. You've heard old adages so much through the years, it becomes buried and forgotten. I've resurrected some and it helps tremendously,i.e., "Keep it simple, stupid!"

omg ! I needed this so much i get triggered very much when someone raises their voice or when someone is disrespectful to me it just makes me go back that fearful blank moment where I feel like I have 0 control over my life and I'm drowning, this made me feel a lot better ❤

Damn. Really needed this rn. Never really knew what it was for the longest time but after some time and some growing up, i'm beginning to understand. Thanks for your vids, they've been a great help through my hellish yet progressive journey. ♡

So many live alone. Shunned by abusive family, abandoned by "friends". Love from others is a myth.

Salt shaker

to those confused about managing triggers. first and foremost, trigger is like a stimuli. it is something that is very spontaneous and may seem uncontrollable at first, but is usually from a stressor rooted by our past. what i learned from this video and in real life is that no matter how negative our thoughts may bring us, its almost always 99% worrying and 1% of whats actually happening. trigger management will never be the same as managing anxiety and/or depression. the latter is quite more complicated esp when it is bounded by ptsd too. for those ppl suffering in these mental health issues, just know that no person has 100% healthy mind and coping. we just have to learn how to find our internal zen and practice restrain rather than bursting out our emotions. not only that its very draining, it is really energy consuming. studies already proved that restrain is better than venting out especially in triggers when the stress level is still at its manageable point. and btw, i have a bg in psychology thats why i really appreciated this video for being precise about trigger management

Get to the root of the cause, understand that it's our inner child being triggered in those moments, take care of it and we'll never be triggered again.

Wow, I really needed this, just, as a reminder of sorts. I have CPTSD and because of the violent nature that a loved one died, it haunts me every day, especially since I was the last person to talk to them. This happened years ago though, and I've been trying to work on it daily. A problem arises because I already have festering agoraphobia contributed to by vicarious trauma (I used to watch a lot of true crime and I live in the United States so the media & the state of the country truly don't help). Being physically present on campus doesn't help either, because earlier in the year there was an incident with an individual and it was not a drill (even though the school immediately covered it up). The person didn't hurt anyone nor was there an actual gun (just BB) because it was a personal fight. This incident, however, really messed me up because I was doing so well before it. I ended up having a panic attack in a classroom closet full of kids because I didn't know if it was real or not and they refused to be quiet. Even the fact that I'm about to leave high school can't comfort me enough when I have to focus during the day because of just, this buildup of anxieties. A quick example is, kids stampede through the hallways when I'm in select classes because... they're freshmen (I guess? lol) and they're skipping class so they're running from the admins. My main PTSD trigger, from my major trauma, comes from loud sounds in general so that really disturbs me. I think being in a stressful environment so often has really taken a toll on me. I've been forgetting to eat and struggle to get even basic assignments done. And since my anxiety has been through the roof, I'm more prone to outbursts and even my already-crap memory keeps acting up more than usual. Sadly, physical attendance is mandatory due to the nature of my classes and I'll have to try to survive. On a positive note though, I'm getting closer to my friends so although I can't fully open up to them, I feel warm inside from just having them as company. So that's the love I can attest to for healing. And it's Thursday, so tomorrow is Friday, and then it'll be the weekend! I have an appointment today with my therapist so hopefully, we can try to think about ways to improve this stress. Thanks for reading this far 🤎

I grew up with awful bullying, low self esteem, anxiety, depression - real tough times…. And I thank God for each and every one of those challenges. They are a large part of what finally forged me into a man in the truly magical 50th decade of life (otherwise known as the 40’s). What makes this decade so great? The gives a f*** gene turns OFF and you are finally free from giving 2 shits about what anyone thinks or says whatsoever. You’ve seen it all, you’ve been through most of it. You go to the grocery store in your dirtiest clothes and your shades on slick…You’re finally ready. So stick it out with your training young Padawans! It’s worth it.

He's talking about a kind of dramatic trigger that I call reacting. but there is an ongoing low grade triggering which I call being defensive that seems to be more pervasive.

I have been suffering from triggers of unworthiness, inability, imperfection and the feeling of being unlovable for well over 3 years know without even know, except that now it has become so much worse I have realized there is definitely something wrong here. Nonetheless, videos like is is why I subscribed to this channel, a deep and profound, not-so-long explanation, that certainly serves as a reminder.

Although relationships can survive if one person gets easily triggered and lashes out whereas the other person has worked through their stuff and "loves" their acting-out partner, it is waaaaaay better if both people have done their personal work to manage their triggers without inflicting them on their partner.

We need to respond to the threats that come our way with creativity ! VERY well said !

I found that being able to choose from 4 options and labeling the trigger pattern helped enormously ...1..blocking me for no good reason 2 .expectations not bappening 3.something not said or expressed 4 denial of existence ..the last one would devastate me ,but as a child if I didn't " follow the narcissists script " I'd be blasted even for little things ...if rejected in any way it would bring all that ba ck . Now I just name the trigger and the emotion disappears as not relevant to the situation present day . Your presentation was the clearest I have ever heard ,thankyou ...I'll passit on

My social anxiety is bad and general anxiety. I get triggered very easily everytime I have to talk to strangers pretty much. Why is life so hard.

Why are you calling me out like that? I had this episode today because I thought I messed up in my new job and started questioning my life goals or believing I would be a failure forever. One moment I was having a great after-glow of a tough job, done well. The next minute, I nearly cried as I talked to my supervisor. Just horrible.

My goodness, I found myself looking for reasons to be rejected in social situations or to suppose something was wrong when it wasn't, even though there's a lot of evidence saying otherwise. Knowing is half the battle. ❤

This is a good description of how and why we get triggered but it massively over simplifies how to deal with being triggered. Knowing the origin of triggers is a useful component of self awareness but the most powerful and essential element of responding to triggers is to develop self regulation. That can take time and practice and may require professional support. Best wishes to anyone suffering dysregulated responses. There is help available.

This was so beautifully and clearly articulated. Thank you.

We are animals who were primed to sniff out in the present the slightest sign of the dangers of the past.

Our greatest fears are not what might happen but what has already happened.

The “wasn’t listened to” really strikes home. No emotions, reactions, needs were allowed. Instead, it was all about shaming and judging and controlled!

I have always love your videos, very adequate, clear, and inspiring. Doing shorts is okay but I prefer the longer and animated ones.

Yep. It's like being possessed. Trauma lives in every cell in our body.

Thoughts themselves are neither positive or negative but our opinion about these thoughts whether they are good or bad triggers all the emotions. These emotions has some inertia unlike thoughts which come and go in our mind. The emotions than make us feel exhausted making us to be in the past or future preventing us to be in our present moment.

Please do a video about the process… like a scene ! Thank you! Love your work!

How do you tell the difference between a past trauma response and a valid response to someone who genuinely isn't trustworthy?

sometimes it is both something in the past and something in the present needing addressing.dont avoid triggers. feel the feelings know the story and change the ending this time in the present. This Rewires the brain and gives us Confidence Outcomes Can Change.

I feel... I used to get triggered a lot by people that didn't share the same core values that I try to exercise. Core values as compassion, love, integrity, etc... Then I would pass judgment on those individuals that feel are "ugly" or "loveless" people. I have reduced my triggers in understanding that we are all humans and have so many emotions and motivations.

I'm struggling with the same. I was bullied verbally and teased by group of boys when I was in my engineering because they found me very weak, thin in frame and with very strange high pitched voice for a boy. I wasn't well built like them all. Later I had to drop off for one year because I had failed in one subject for more than twice because of depression and anxiety. I couldn't concentrate on studies at all. Anxiety was on peak when I was there. Later when I came back to clear that subject, I had to leave hostel and live in a PG where my juniors were also having residence. One night even those juniors knocked my doors hard when they were intoxicated and I refused to smoke cigarettes with them. I was alone. These kinds of things were happening with me since I was a kid. People found out something funny or strange about me and they used to mock me in groups or torture me with words. My friends used to say I've a different personality which sometimes comes out very intimidating as I used to carry a lot of confidence for a thin man. I've been battling with depression for more than 10 years as far as I can remember. I get triggered whenever I recall those moments and whenever anyone mentions how my voice sounds. I've done a lot of things to change but nothing worked. So many exercises to deepen my voice but still. Maybe I look like a child for a man of over 25 years of age. I often link it with me being born a gay. I don't know if I'm completely a gay man or it's just because I've been always forced to never look at girls, talk to them and understand them. Otherwise I could have been a bisexual. God knows. In my mind every time I get triggered as I think I'm not a man manly enough to survive in this world, I blame my parents for giving me bad genes. Especially I think I should have not born to my dad because he has manly personality but is thin frame and can't rock muscles. I find his voice too a strange one. My mother is beautiful and has everything perfect for her physically. I blame God for whatever he has made me. Why he's to make me a man when he can't give me everything a man desires. Why should he make a man effeminate and weak? I often feel so lonely and fear of loneliness grips me very hard. I solace myself that I've to live life happily as much time as I'm healthy and energetic. Later on I can end my life anyway. Better live a good life than a long life.

To stop caring is the 1 stop shop to stop ourselves from getting triggered

Love is very important, A simple huge ,a care ,a comforting talk is very important

I just don't know how to heal from the endless oceans of rage and grief in me. At the beginning of this year, The man whom I revered as my best friend, abandoned and betrayed me. He replaced me. Now... My 53-year old cousin, just suddenly tragically passed. Alone. In his sleep. Unexpectedly. On 10/09/23. RIP cuz. I LOVE YOU ✨💛

This a great video!! Thanks for creating one! I’ve been fighting how to control my trigger, and it has been futile. My mom left me when I was young (divorce my dad and left the fam), and I subconsciously blame myself for it. I didn’t know this at first. As I grow older, I get triggered if I am accused of doing something wrong, even when the discussion might be hypothetical. I did some reflection and realised where the trigger comes from, but I have no way of controlling it. This video has given me a change perspective which I hope it can be helpful to overcome my issue. Thank you 🙏🏽

I'm at this point, after a year of ending therapy. I know every single tiny detail about my triggers, trauma and where they are coming from, and why. yet, it still doesn't help me when I fall into this spiral of sadness. I feel so hopeless.

No matter how good we do for others, No matter how best we do in our lives....We get rejected we get isolated, we get ignored, we get bullied, we are always a laughing stock for all..And atlast, we are to blame for everything....

There's so much built up anger within me from childhood as i have never confronted the people who have step on me for so long that sometimes i get trigger and my emotions are starting to overflow from me even at work ...

Very well said. We must learn how to control our emotions, then the reactions. Heal from our traumas, accept ourselves and move on with confidence and curiosity about life. Thak you for video, its really helpfull🎉❤

What's funny is that the book "The Body Keeps the Score" basically proposes that the way to stop being triggered is to get neurofeedback therapy. It's prohibitively expensive, so I see why it's not popular, but some public money should go into making it widely available. Especially since mental health issues are such a crisis.

I'm always, always tired and I'm falling and have no way to stop it.

This is helpful. Next time I am triggered will start thinking about how this must have happened before. Will be ignoring the rest of the conversation. win win

This is the BEST healing information EVER for those of us who were so traumatized in childhood that our whole lives were ruined. You deserve a medal of freedom ❤️

Being triggered sometimes is all right. It's ok to feel the spectrum of emotions. Feeling passionately about something is normal. What we should keep in mind is how we like to "normalise" words and behaviours. But remember, not everything is everything...

The brain is powerful...so much that it can constantly churn out imaginary problems and threats to its existence and try feverishly to solve them without success. Mindfulness meditation helps calm the mind. The book called 30 Days to Reduce Stress by Harper Daniels, it's more of a small workbook, helped a lot, as did the book called Stop Overthinking by Trenton; both together are awesome.

I love this video, though I might suggest that while triggers are often an overreaction to something many people would find blameless, it isn’t necessarily so. It can as well be an intense emotional reaction to something people might also have a response towards, but the key here is that while many move past that situation, the triggered person experiences much stronger emotions and it is harder for them to move past that situation. Triggers are not just pointed at “harmless” things, but can also be an initial normal reaction to an adequated situation, that then escalates into bigger emotions.

FOR ME, THE MOST DIFFICULT THING IS TO RECOGNIZE THAT I AM BEING TRIGGERED BEFORE THE ADRENALINE KICKS IN.

Yesterday I was waiting 2 hours in the cold for a group of friends. they decided to cancel but never told me and I was very upset and they just looked confused so I just kept the feeling with me. (Not intentionally)

All of THIS and Thank YOU!!!

BRILLIANT VID - Once we find the 'displacement; we're halfway to healing our terrified/terrifying outbursts :)

I've spent my whole adult life trying to emotionally recover from my childhood.