How To Survive Domestic Abuse - Leslie's Story | Unfiltered Stories 

One thing we need to talk more about is emotional abuse. My X husband wasn't really into physical abuse. Eventhough he did put holes in the wall and busted many doors. It was the 18 years of emotional mind twisting that is hard for me to recover from.

The first guy I lived with physically and mentally abused me. I live by myself and I am happy 😊 I love me ❤

"The FIRST person you've gotta tell the truth to, IS YOURSELF" AMEN MY SISTER 🙏❤️🐬🙏

This is why I stay on my own and I am a 100 percent happier because of choosing me and my sons.

I was married to an emotionally abusive narcassist. It is very difficult to admit when there was no physical evidence of this being true. Because I never shared any of this with anyone in my life I decided to plan my escape on my own. This did work but also infuriated him because he believed that I would be to afraid to actually walk away. The first place I went was my Mothers house only to be met with resistence. She said.... You made your bed so you lie in it....he doesn't beat you therefore he is NOT ABUSING YOU! I went back for another 5 years of abuse which I then finally escaped for good without a dime to my name because he had control over our money and accounts. My precious grandma gave me first and last month rent so that i could find an apartment seeing he would find me if i moved in with her. She was my saving grace 🙌🙏🙌

I wish the judicial system would keep these domestic abusers in prison instead of letting them back out into society.

Scariest part would be realizing that either you leave or you’re choosing to be killed. It may not be today, it may not be some time down the road. But if you don’t leave, you’re choosing to be murdered.

The way this was communicated in such an articulate way was like reading a book in one breath. I've never been through such an extreme, but I can so appreciate what she's talking about. I wish I could have such a lady in my friends circle.

I CHOOSE ME, OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN!!!

I endured verbal and psychological abuse. Five year hard marriage. Nearly had a breakdown. I and our two year old little boy left.

You just brought me out of my denial

It is very important what she mentioned that her closest colleagues were mad at her and not him when finding out about her engagement. She said that’s that is “Brilliant PhD level abuse.” Because it created isolation between her and her closest peers.

She has a TED Talk called 'why doesn't she leave' and has written a book Crazy Love which are brilliant too.

Amazingly powerful. I’m sending to a friend. If she reads this comment. I’m here for you. You have a place to go. I am here for you. I love you G.

My ex-husband abused me for 8 years. The love bombing is real ! His dad abused his mother... really evil... to the point she was deaf for a while. abused him too. Thank you for sharing your story love ❤❤

I was abused in a relationship like this one. For 3 years. The first year was the most love I’d ever been in, or received. The last two years were me trying to get out. He would threaten to kill my animals and family. And he was capable of just about anything. I was 20 years old. The day I finally left. I had come home late from a friends birthday party. Every single possession on mine was in one giant heap in the front yard. All of my clothes, work uniforms, furniture. Every plate, glass in the home. All broken in the front yard and had paint thrown all over it. Every single thing I owned. I called all off the strong men in my life. The police. His parents. I knew this was not going to go down well. It didn’t. He went from rage. To love bombing/stalking. He would fill entire exercise books, front to back. In desperate apologies and begging for my forgiveness and begging me to come back. This persisted for 2 more years. Exercise books of his ramblings. Every day. I look back and I’m still proud and relieved to have survived him. He absolutely was capable of killing me. ❤

I'm in an abusive relationship, he's got me convinced I am a snob, I've had to make myself very small for peace. I'm isolated from my family, financially exploited, scared and videos like this help me get the strength to leave. He broke my jaw and teeth and I lied for him. I'm embarrassed, I have a master's degree I've worked hard I want out and I'm trying to find my strength, these people are life and soul sucking. Thank you for this story.

I admire your courage of getting out of a bad marriage! Takes guts!

😢What a horrible monster. There is absolutely no excuse for any man to beat up a woman. He knew exactly what he was doing to you. He is nothing but a big bully. Thank God you are free from him. You deserve to be Loved and Happy. I Was brought up in a very violent home I lived in fear from age 3 I met my now husband when I was 35 he stuck by me when I had a mental breakdown he never criticised me or fussed over me. He could see how wounded I was and never forced anything on me he was so patient he never smothered me with love he would hold me when I needed that. I refused to marry him for eleven years until I Felt Icould trust him. I said yes the next time he asked me we have been together 37 years and he has never let me down. I love him and Iknow he loves me. I hope you find happiness love and contentment Sending Love to you

Wow, you are a great speaker. Thanks for sharing your story.

Thank you for your story im also a domestic violence victim and i survived.

My father was a wife beater; he was beating my Mom from the beginning. She was pregnant with me just a couple weeks after their marriage. He was already beating her before I was born. I hated his guts because of his abuse of our Mother. Amazingly, Mom got strong, she made a stand after going to counseling. I was 15 when he stopped beating her.

I got the very opposite from everyone, you made your bed, lye in it. It’s much harder to get away when there is no help. You did everything right, you are correct about how this works. But you give the idea that there is help out there. Sometimes that’s not true. The police, judge, family friends blamed me.

Your story is almost identical to mine.....I didn't get out,I put my children first.I kept it a secret except from my daughter.Then I ran away no one knew why,I worked night duty for 5 years.I did choose me but I suffered because of it.Thankyou to my faith and God's goodness...

I remember my ex husband used to say "look what you made me do now"! That was over 20 years ago and I never regret walking out the door one day with my sons while he was at work. X

I knew it was starting and I did nothing. The day after we were married, he became fierce, defiant, angry and emotionally abusive. He started cutting off my friends, my family was already not taking to me, but nothing to do with him. He targeted me because I was alone with a child. He began controlling the phone, I knew what he was doing but I ignored it. I was an RN, I didn’t know how to leave. I was only working part time, I had nowhere to go, no more friends, no family that cared. I was trapped. Then he began punching holes in walls, throwing furniture, blocking my leaving the house, takin my keys and throwing me around. Still I stayed, there was much more he tried to kill me three times, once when I was pregnant. I don’t know why, but he left, and then left the country. I never would allow anyone to control me again. I survived. I found out others were aware, people at work. After he left and I was devastated, not because he left but because now I thought I have nobody, not even an abuser. I began to have friends at work who cared and watched who were relived he left and told me so. I began to regain my confidence, my family began to see and decided to heal the,selves too and we all came together as a family because of this. It o Is 30 years later,mi am still here.

Thank you for sharing, I am also a victim of domestic abuse.

Abusive partners know they are never going to stop abusing. It’s the victim who has to figure this out. I lived with a Jekyll and Hyde man. Took a few trips in an ambulance. I’ve had people say that I must like the abuse or I wouldn’t have stayed. People are stupid sometimes.

Thank you, ive been out 15 months now and still struggle. Police weren't so great but I got out with just my clothes. I've been no contact since.

Thank you for telling your story. I was a widow and I Meg this man not that long after my husband died, I thought he was a nice kjbd man like my husband....but it wascan act...it took me 15 years to get away from him.. He took every ounce of self confidence I had....but I am free now and have been for the past 7 years. But I don't mix with people anymore, I keep myself to myself...I'm not really unfriendly, it's just that I cannot trust anyone at all anymore.....I am so pleased you took your courage with both hands and got yourself away ❤

You are very courageous. Thank you for your story. You will help many people!

My story is near indetical to yours. Mine was a day and a half before the wedding for the first brutal beating. The abuse was right off the bat. Food in the face guns to the head, etc. Listening to my son scream "He's killing her! She can't breathe! He's killing her!!!" Broke me. I wasshown where I would be buried in the crawl space daily! I was officially kidnapped, beaten, tortured, etc for days (wasn't the first time thought either.). I was also pregnant. Even leaving I was stalked, run of roads, murder for hire plots. Multiple lifetime protective orders........ I was told by his own colleagues and his own family, he was going to kill me. He was a former K-9 deputy sheriff and Sergeant in the Army Rangers as well. He got away WITH SO SO MUCH! I was also raised by a very very decorated officer and knew better! I still fell prey to his predatory evil soul! He was given 28 yrs. He'll see the BOP THIS MAY 2024! After 5.5 yrs! Tell me how?! How does this happen?! When he kidnapped me the last time, the first words out of his mouth when multiple swat teams came to take him (even made big time news. Not the flex I ever wanted! Lol!) was "Well....guessing the baby died then?!"

Please share this!! It's so important to get stories like this to reach as many people as possible so that we can bring abuse to light and create more awareness!! A loved one has been abused for years and is deep in denial. A story like this may be what it takes to wake an abuse victim out of their deep state of denial. Thank you for sharing.

Thank you for saying you realize looking like you with your education helped your situation. I’m so happy for your peace and happiness.

It it feels like a fairytale, it is not real. I know that now. Mine attracted me through pity as well too. Thank God you survived...

I am a lifelong single woman and truly happy to be so. When I was very young, I never saw my future life as a married person. My parents never got along and were divorced. All three of my sisters were married and divorced. No one ever actually said it (possibly out of fear of reprisals from me), but it was implied that I was selfish and/or gay because I remained single. I never told them about failed relationships with men who tried to control me in one way or another. I got away from them all and continued to live MY way and forge my own path. It's true that abusive relationships can be disguised in so many ways and that anyone can fall prey to them regardless of age, education, income, race, color, you name it. I was lucky.

I didn't have a lot of physical abuse, but terrible emotional abuse . Yes I've been chocked and pinched .😢

Those men are Hollywood actors. Sweet at the beginning...

Thank you! ❤ 😢 the part that always amazes me about all abuse stories...is the way they come in to begin with...its like a well thought of plan...win someoneover, isolate, threatening and then begin the verbal & physical breakdown of the survivor......its so sinister. I pray anyone going through this finds the strength to escape!

Your story was my story years back. Same MO from that ex. I lived 3 years of misery, being a DV. I fled abroad, planning my escape for a year. I am glad I was able to escape...so many dont. Put yourself first...thats a big lesson.

Thanks. For sharing. The red flags in abuse relationships are important points that you explained.

I want to say I agree. I am a powerful woman successful in business and I couldn’t believe it was happening to me. The most dangerous time is when you leave so everyone should be very careful when they do that. It had been years of abuse and one thing that always stands out to me is this. When I had to go to family court and write out the last few incidents was the first time I realized I was a victim of Domestic abuse and I just sat there and cried. Sending warm and loving thoughts to all going through this💕

I was an advocate for and caseworker for women , men and children in DV for 29 years, this woman is amazing! It takes a survivor almost 10 to 12 times to leave her abuser if every time the survivor leaves they go to some sort of counseling when victimized.

It's like your antenna goes i the air crackles before it starts. The feeling stays around for a few days afterwards. It takes so much courage to get out. I can only recommend to pack money away in a place you can get it that he doesn't know about. Keep a set of extra keys available. Make copies of w2 forms, checking account numbers, savings and credit card numbers. Keep an exchange of clothes and for your children. I had $10 and two children the last time i ran. There are agencies that will help get back on your feet. When you get a lawyer, make sure they are on your side. Be prepared to fight for yourself. You can survive.

What a beautiful soul...and she has my late Mommy's name...She confirmed that I am on the right path, of just loving and supporting folks, without too many questions but with my actions, deeds and most important, prayer.

You are so incredibly brave. Thank you for sharing your story ❤

It is in the eyes, they don’t lie. I’m glad I was dealing with a wimp who was afraid of looking bad. I chose the mental hospital twice. Neither time did they give a damn. When I left it was a complete surprise, and he didn’t believe it. He thought I was completely cowed.

Strangers believed me, not family and friends 😢

Wow "I'll be there in 20 min" made me burst out crying ! I know how you feel sister.

Thank you for telling your personal story so clearly. It is a great help. I wish you a healthy, peaceful and fulfilled life. Best wishes to all women here. Also Don Hennessy Books on line and 4 part podcast- Steps to Freedom.

You have so much power, so much dept, so much compassion, so powerful ability to love, so much love to transmute into many! Please keep transmuting your love, your compassion to yourself and other members of the mother Earth. 💓🌍💖Very proud of you as a woman! Woman power! Love and 🫂 to you my dear sister ☀️💪🏻💗💓💝💖🤗💞

What a pleasure listening to such a smart, articulate and brave woman ❤

This is a powerful video. Abuse can help at the drop of a dime. Never did I think I would be someone who could be in fear of their life.

i love her so much, especially at the end when she says she was lucky and why

My first wake up call was when my 16 year old babysitter (who witnessed my husband throwing a pan of hot lasagna at me but missed) said to me when I was dropping her off at her house “ God never intended for you to be treated like this”. That was all she said. I was shocked. It started me planning my escape. Long story short…we divorced an I loathe him now.

Hi me too I'm a domestic abuse survivor my mam was too she s passed on since 2017 it's always better to leave in my mam's time in Ireland it was very difficult to leave it was a bit easier for me although it's always difficult I had the issue with the miniskirt too god bless

Living in an abusive situation + living in denial is like being "under a spell". Bewitched. And then, one day, you open up your eyes .

Same same same. I keep finding stories of this with so many of the details exactly the same. The negging, the breking walls, the romantic proposal, the strangling during sex, the rabid animal telling me I was going to be killed, my denial. I guess it's good to know there are others.

😢I am glad that, you decided to get out of that situation. I know exactly what you went through 😢

What an abuser recognises, within a matter of minutes of meeting someone is, whether or not a person is an enabler, rescuer, people pleaser. This man figured this out about her during their conversation on the train ride. He knew he could manipulate her and systematically distroy what little bit of self worth she had. This enabler/rescuer type of personality is created in childhood as a coping mechanism, a survival skill for children who grew up in an emotionally bankrupt home an later on in adulthood attracts abusers, narcissists, bullies. Simple, end of story. This is about empaths whose great gift of caring becomes twisted into a harmful way of navigating through life trying to get their needs met in an unheathy way. So many people think they grew up in these happy homes, but the truth comes out in adulthood when they end up choosing a really bad type of relationship.

this is exactly my story too. how sad. meeting him 6 months after we married secretly and ignored all the red flags.

Narcissistic relationships have 4 stages: love bomb, devaluation, discard and hoover

No car, no job, no friends, no family, no money, no education, no skills, no career, what I do have is: a disability, SS disability check in my husband’s name, expensive 10+ RX medications, doctor appointments, over the age of 50 , bad credit, marriage of 30 years, record of indecent exposure because I was afraid to speak of my abuse. You want me to pick homelessness, starvation, possibly be revictimise and medical neglect?! This was what my neighbor response to me when I asked her to leave her very abusive husband. I understand why some stay and meet their demise. I didn’t know what to say.

Fantastic video and presentation. You are so well spoken and beautiful. 😊

Thank you for telling your story! You told it so well!

I’ve never been in any abusive relationship but I’ve learned a lot from this video , things I would of never of seen as red flags . With an accidental hair pull im crying I cannot imagine what you had to go through . ❤

Single is best however its extremely difficult financially

Thankyou, Leslie🙏

FANTASTIC she got out alive!! Many.dont.

Thank God Leslie survived and she got help.

Thank u sooo much for this... Much needed ❤❤❤🤗🙏

I'm so sorry you went through all this grief and pain 💔 thank God you made it out God bless you 😇 and everyone been through this horrible behavior 💔💔😇 so so true men are abuse just like women 💜 so true

You are amazing to share this story. Thank you for being genuine and a good model to many victims and survivors out there ❤😊

Been though this too. So happy to be single and LOVING IT!

Recognize the feeling of love from the policemen. When I was sick and had called an ambulance, the paramedics showed such empathy while my boyfriend cared more about the dash board in the ambulance. They gave him strange looks. And the voices she heard about "We love you and its great you love him.." That was Jesus and angels. The spirit realm. How touching they saw her love and told her its great but she had to choose.

Excellent presentation! Thank you ❤

Thank you for sharing ❤

Such an inspiring and informative story.

Open heart..... spot on!

Wow. That was wonderful. Thank you.

Well said, so true!

"If you're someone that looks like me, you get more help".

The police should treat all victims of domestic violence with the same belief and respect as you were treated. Unfortunately all to many victims’ treatment depends on how they look, where they live, who they are.

Thank you for sharing 🙏🏼😘❤️

Thank you

Thank you 🙏🏼🌅🥰

My real life hero !😊

So grateful to come across your vdo. You are so inspiring.

Mine did exactly the same thing, played victim. Put me on a pedestal.

thank you!

Amazing story! ❤

This was lovely ❤

Wow!

Vero important story.

When I look back at my X and ALL the abuse I remember being so in love and flattered with all the attention. I feel like a fool for falling for it. I now have X Ray vision and see it coming a mile away. I always tell my kids, abuse does not start with punch.. it starts with manipulation leading to what looks like love but is a cover for the evil.

This is the scariest thing I've ever watched

100 % AGREE ❤

The profession with the highest rate of domestic abuse is the police service, followed by the judiciary, followed by the medical profession. Little wonder women fail to leave or keep returning. I am currently writing a book about my beater. It has taken me over 30 years to overcome the PTSD that writing about it provokes.

It’s so sad that children are abused, it teaches them they are hated and how to hate back, plus it screws up their minds and makes them turn out in the main as bad people to others, because it’s learned behaviour and how to hit out at your nearest if you feel angry even if that anger is work related. The better side of the person knows it’s his fault and he’s out of control but understands his behaviour is related to his childhood experiences and he will end up losing a person he needs thus hurting himself therefore he regrets and tries to behave better until the next time he feels irked or angry. Yes, there is a needy child trapped inside, but the big strong body he’s in means he’s dangerous when in a negative mood. So, on it goes to the point of badly hurting his spouse or grandmother or his own child, and getting sent to prison where he can reflect on how evil the demon that was in his stepfather made him. That’s how demons survive! It’s an incurable condition but God is the only hope for such a person. Hitting out at a spouse sends the message that the abuser doesn’t love his victim, but he needs his victim so he holds on to her. The lady has not only done herself a favour by getting him out of her life, she’s done him a favour, as he avoids a murder charge.

What you don’t see often is the women who are the abusers, in my childhood my mother was a complete abuser of me and my dad when my dad was trying to make a plan to get out she found out, she knew back then especially that the woman got custody of the children and to keep him from leaving she told him she would kill me and then herself 😢 so he stayed to literally save my life so I owe him my life in every sense of the phrase 😢 the ironic thing for me is I didn’t put 2and 2 together and realize she was an abuser until about ten years ago and I’m in my mid 50’s now 😢