How To Take Criticism Without Getting Defensive 

As someone who is sensitive in criticism i always repeat their words in my head and i imply myself that it isn't that deep but whenever i suddenly remember it, it irritates me. Even in school if i was given simple criticism i would overthink what others might think of me, but i grew out to take it as a lesson although i still am sensitive 🤣 thank you for this video!

This man saved my life. I been watching & listening to him. I'll watch his video over and over again to remind myself. Being angry only gonna hurt me. I'm here to learn and not be negative towards someone when I get defensive, upset or angry with anyone.

If someone says youre sensitive. Take it as if you know now how much is too much for them. Cuz your feelings are infinite.

Everyone who looked up this video is already taking the proper path of self reflection. 😊

I tend to take work criticism personally, and always end up wanting to cry, which I know i can't do, but it's hard to control! what do you recomend?

I wish the rest of my family would understand that sensitivity can be good! Thank you for this! It helps me think in a different way :)

I've had so much problems with being defensive up to the point where it cost me many days of heated never ending pointless arguments that has a repetitive pattern, this helps a whole lot. Kudos yet again Dr Paul. Thank you.

I had a situation this week that left me anxious, confused and angry. I was misreading it so after a debrief I looked at why I get all defensive when I'm being criticised and this really helped me. So Thank you for your feedback

Thank you so much; I’ve been carrying around this “guilt” that I have to change to make someone else feel comfortable or better about themselves when it’s not about me, it’s them. And perception and sense of self is so important, now that I’m learning that; that one action does not define your whole personality, it makes you human; and you would lose yourself if you believe every criticism that someone has about you when you’re just minding your own business and doing your thing while setting boundaries.

<a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="30">0:30</a> Defensiveness Validates Accusation <a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="90">1:30</a> There's a Difference Between Facts & OPINIONS <a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="130">2:10</a> We Don't Have to Respond to That Attack <a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="160">2:40</a> They're Telling Us More About Them Than They're Telling Us About Ourselves <a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="170">2:50</a> What Other People Think About You is not YOUR Business <a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="195">3:15</a> FEEDBACK: You're Getting Input Back From Something That You're Interacting With <a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="220">3:40</a> INFORMATION: About What? About That Person's OPINION <a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="265">4:25</a> My EXPERIENCE of You is That You're Sensitive <a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="465">7:45</a> CRITICISM Can be Redefined as FEEDBACK <a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="505">8:25</a> You're Still in a Better Stronger Position if YOU Consider it as FEEDBACK, Even if... <a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="515">8:35</a> Say Thank You

Defensiveness validates accusation.

Did anyone feel defensive watching this video? Lol

i had to disagree in the part that you said "nobody thinks like this." because, not to toot my own horn, but this is exactly how i see it! often, this is how criticism translates to me and this is how i process it! though there are still times that my hotheadedness gets the best of me, this is how i think i normally see it!

This is such a very timely reminder of the universe to me ( like a heavy smack in the nape) to say ‘Thank You for your feedback’ to those who misunderstood my calmness and neutrality over chaotic situations. They thought of me as unsupportive of their negative emotions and blind or self-centered opinions. Well, my nature is not egoic that is why people view me as ‘not normal’. I have learned so much how to ‘respond’ instead of to ‘react’. And believe me folks, its more calming and peaceful ❤️

I need to remind myself learning to maintain humbleless and open mind for criticism in better way to improve on daily lives very helpful thank you!

Thank you because breaking it down makes me now analyze it that way from now on. Hahaha my problem is that it hurts to see them have that particular opinion but I love how you resolve it

for those like me who are hypersensitive to/ dysregulated by it, I feel this affirmation will help with self-regulation: "criticism = simply what triggers the other person" very helpful talk! I just subbed to this channel.

I’m a videographer and I always have to send my videos to get reviewed by the client. I put my heart and soul into my work so when I get,what I now know as “feedback”, I get all worked up bc I know how much time and effort I put into a video to make it perfect to present. And in my mind it’s as perfect as it can be so when I get feedback of how it could be different I always take it as criticism even though I know that it’s not. This video really has helped me to understand how to process feedback for work so at the end of the day I have healthy customer relationships to keep my business going. Thank you!

Gosh this video is so disarming! I'm not even half way through and my shoulders have already dropped half an inch.🤣

Criticism can be redefined as feedback, very good!

Thank you for the feedback!! I was almost too defensive at the beginning of the video. I didn’t want to hear your opinion on my most shameful behaviour even though your not even here and It was my choice to watch it!!So crazy how brains be. Where has it all even come from ?😹😹 I really appreciated your insight. It’s exactly what I needed to hear and now I’m going to watch all the videos and learn how to master myself. Thank you

It depends, if someone calls you lazy and your not of course your gonna mad and defensive

I have always taken things personally and have been tryong to interpret things less defensively. This is affirming and so hepful. Thank you!

Thank you, for just being you. I will put this skill into practice.

Thank you. This has been the best advice for helping me release my anger and a pathway to being more emotionally intelligent

I really needed to hear this. At times I just feel so angry when someone criticises that I get stomach ache after a while. This video really helped me to understand and manage my emotions. Thank you.

I think that the most important factor is the intention of the person criticising you, criticism is not toxic itself, some people are

This was really eye-opening. I thought I've consumed enough self-help content that nothing would be knew but this a brand new way of thinking for me.

This was list the most positive advice I have ever found on the 16 years I've known about this website. Thank you! 😃

this helped me to open a different perspective on people’s “feedback” ;) great job!!! so helpful!!!

I'll be looking forward to his videos & I'm loving it so far. I used the FART - frustration, anger, resentment and timeout method is my favorite way to cope with irritability.

Your Brilliant! Thank you for the Feedback Dr. Paul~

Really needed to hear this today being criticized sucks thank you so much

It was very helpful to me! Thank you so much.

Thank you for the feedback, is a very interesting way to look at this. You can consider an opinion without consuming or owning it! This is a very empowering video! Thank you. God bless

Thankyou for this video, I feel as if I got my power back😁

Really helpful principles and video, thank you !

I was searching for answers on dealing with angry pathetic cowards who bully my disabled son daily. Now, I know that I have to thank them. A bit confusing, but I am on the right track.

I should have practice this as I failed to today where my boss said so much things of me which he state as a "fact". i was left confused. I believe everyday is a new day. I was a little defensive, but I manage to say thank you and as what I can do better. Notes: 1. It's someone's opinion. 2. They're opinion is a reflection of them. 3. Pause and reflect on the opinion. 4. Try and come up with another question. 5. It's only how that person sees you in the 3D reality and doesn't mean it's a feedback. 6.Thank you.

Thank you for making this video! Now imma rethink how I take comments online as I tend to get defensive even if it’s constructive criticism.

It’s great lesson as usual👍🏻 Happy I’ve found your channel!

This is life changing. Thank you!

You are really intelligent. This is helpful. I have been searching for a way to cope with criticism. This is the best advice I have found. Of course my biggest critic thinks he is stating facts about me!

thank you for the amazingly awesome videos!! 😆

Thank you so much for such an honest and helpful analysis 🙏🙏

Let’s remind ourselves of the meaning of criticism: ‘the expression of disapproval of someone or something on the basis of perceived faults or mistakes.’ Note the word perceived. Criticism can either be fair or unfair. It can be constructive or unconstructive. Fair and constructive criticism should obviously be taken on board. Unfair and unconstructive criticism shouldn’t.

Thank You! This was so helpful. Coming from a sensitive POV

You’re brilliant! Thanks!

This video helped so much!

Thank you, this really helped me, I had to rewatch like 3 times lol

I just wanted to take the time to say that you’re awesome and thank you for sharing your awesomeness in video form with us!!

<a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="237">3:57</a>--"Let's say someone tells you 'You're so sensitive' AS IF that's a BAD thing!" Talk about flipping the script!! Great video

Thank you! It is really helpful!

Thanks! Very constructive and effective way to look at the criticism.

This is awesome advice! Thank you!

This is so liberating!

Your videos are very helpful to me helps me navigate life with consciousness and awareness

I needed to hear this right now

This is what I do, but the issue apparently is that when my opinion is not changed by feedback, especially when it is feedback I have already heard, people get mad at me?

this video has gotten me out of a lot of mental tight spots. Many thanks wise sir.

Very powerful video thank u so much

I think this is good point because when someone accused me of wrong doing which I didn't do, I always fill guilty when I try to defend my self.

Thanks you for your wisdom

I dont think an opinion always says something about ourselves. Thats a perfect way to deflect any sincere feedback you receive and keep yourself from growing. If I go to a restaurant and the food is tasteless then you can say that that is my opinion, or you consider it to be true, check your food and if it is true you take this opportunity to improve your spicing.

Feedback should always be considered but not necessarily consumed. Ok. Learning how to create those boundaries in my thinking so that I can practice considering the feedback without consuming it or letting it consume me would probably be helpful.

Thanks for sharing.

Thank you.

This was excellent

The problem about accepting criticism is, the more you take a criticism, the more people enjoying ride on you like a puppet. I have experienced this till a stage I realized those people were not really criticising me, they are bullying me by picking up on any points they could to bring me down and the things they criticised me are the things I have been doing much better while they do it way worst, e.g. a D student criticised an A student for not answering a question correctly while the D student answered it even more all wrong and that's why She's a D student. I do think that we need to learn some reaction to make those who criticised us feel insulted, stupid or wasted their time criticising us. This is why some defensive acts needed or if you to stay quiet or ignore them, make sure to do so with spiritual "wall" buit in between to intimidate those who criticised

Good advice...thank you so much 🤗

Thank you!

Thank you 🙏🏽

Thank you, your explanation was really great and helpful , nice work 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍🙂🙂🙂

Very helpful information thank you sir.

Thank you 🙏 for your feedback

That was incredible

This is a really great video!

Great Content Thank You Defensiveness validates accusation Simply an opinion It's them It's none of your business Ty for feedback

Love that! Their experience of you/me

Thank you for this. Hey I actually do think like that 🙂❤️ What about my behavior has them experiencing me as sensitive? It does not mean it’s true, I learned long ago that perception is reality. Communication is key...

Thanks sir ☺️

This is the best way to deal with criticism

Thankyou 🙂

Thank you

Everyone had an opinion and everyone have something to hide? And when someone states a fact about you. Listen? And when they do know you?

I used to be very defensive. Unaware I was giving them the power to be in control I doubt if there's anyone who ever got this type of Criticism Constant surveillance with every move you make. I came to realize it's sickness bro there are not okay like seriously every time I type on my phone, whatever I wear, wherever I go . I'm holding my phone mind you. This is reality I'm not joking.

You're pretty awesome, I love this video. These are great tips!! :)

My fav is opinions are kinda like armpits everyone has one, and they stink . Best ever

You have my subscription.:) Great video.

This is great information

This is very helpful

I was thinking, right before you said it... it's *information* about how you are being *perceived* by *that person.* and so... if it's a work situation and/or their perception is important to me, the question is... how can I change their perception to my advantage? So I may want to ask them for more information. "Can you expand on that?" And maybe even ask them, what sort of changes would alter their perception. (Still trying to work out the best way to ask that without giving away power or appearing to commit to the changes they want... maybe asking, how they would handle xyz situation.)

Thank you for your feedback.

I like your detailed explanation from different angles and your presentation, too. It is not easy to get a hold of ourselves in the moment when getting criticized. But your words and how they are expressed might help to get the truths ingrained deeper into the brain. I said it before, but I really think it’s the right channel for me. I would also like a video about accepting more easily that you are to blame, when the criticism is justified.

Viewers may find something of interest in my book - Correction without Criticism [Etta Ganter]. It provides an approach for having emotionally tough conversations. Strategies are made explicit and examples are provided. 🙏

<a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="465">7:45</a> "Criticism can be simply redefined as feedback." But I have some sneaky feeling that it will piss off those who were hoping it would hurt us. And that's a good thing! I'm not trying to hurt them, but if they want to be hurt by it, that's THEIR problem now

I REALLY NEED TO LEARN TO ACCEPT CRITICSM WITHOUT CRYING

Sometimes ppl criticising you are actually bullying you. Thats why we get defensive, not because of an objective problem but because they're targeting you regardless.

Defensiveness validates accusation = subscribed

subscribed. thank u