Lmao. Im just sitting here laughing at the fact that us girls are watching videos with someone drawing a "graph" for us so we can understand men like we're in school hahah
You know dating has gone to shit when we have to resort to this much strategizing, suppressing our feelings, becoming players ourselves, calculating, graphing out behavior, law of attraction, and endlessly watching dating gurus on RU-vid to figure out how to win a man over into a relationship. Prior to the internet dating was so much easier. You meet a guy if there is a connection you keep dating exclusively and see where it goes. No worries that they are pursuing 50 other women on Facebook and dating apps. Its exhausting and at 49 getting worse and worse. I'm just too old for this.
Yess it’s so hard now a days and many people are so lazy especially men they would prefer to just invite you to their house instead of taking you on an actual date ugh
As a completely anonymous resource, the internet allows me to tell the absolute truth. Nobody here works with me, no one in my family watches these, there's no reason for me to lie, no one's going to judge me for my mistakes. And my philosophy is always tell the truth, that way I don't have to waste energy remembering which lie I told.
Women are trained to BE IN A RELATIONSHIP. That there's something wrong in their life or lacking if you aren't in one. It's pathetic. So they come in looking at all these guys from a romantic (emotional) viewpoint instead of a critical thinking mentality(what can he offer?,what is his history ?,What are his weaknesses? Was he in a good relationship with his mom or sisters? ) they are afraid to ask questions because it would scare him off or ruin the mood,make her look desperate. When I stopped giving a shit I noticed guys wouldn't mind asking me these questions and talking . We would find out EARLY IT WOULDNT WORK Or it would. Women need to only be romantic when the guy earns it. If they dont think-They fall all over these guys and these guys know the chic is hooked. When chics do this guys get bored.
You being romantic means letting the guy do all the work? Or do you do something to make the guys feel special? Just asking. It's a known thing that most women's fantasy of romance is putting the guy in charge of everything and letting him spend his time and money at their convenience. Watch all the romantic movies and you'll know what I am talking about. I really want to have a nice discussion about this.
youtube sucks for me it should be both doig the work, example i would always messages first or try to because i feel if i dont they may never message me.
this is so spot on Elliot! I followed your advice to a T and can honestly say you know what you're talking about:D Classic story: The guy overinvested at the beginning to get me hooked (but I knew that was coming) so I played my part of creating attraction, being fun etc and then was cool when he pulled away a little around week 4. He came back shortly after and now he's hooked. Whilst I just want to have fun and see how it goes, he's totally catching feelings. It was very interesting to see that all we need to do is just chill, have fun and let the man do the work ;)
@@youtubesucks2755 yeah no s***. No "work" should never be involved. If someone is looking to share their life with someone, simply just f****** talk and see if you have any common ground! Then go from there. Duh
I was with my ex husband for 10 years. We ended up having sex on the 1st night. I've been just not wanting to hook up with a guy to fast. Men get attached very fast with me. My advice is to connect with a man you like and stay self focused on yourself and do not chase them at all
Here's what I think from my experience, if a guy leads with sex and never brings up a relationship at all then its just sex. Us girls need to put out rose glasses aside and just look at the facts (hard straight actions) infront of us. And us girls need to learn its ok to not want a relationship and just want sex. Its not shameful to like sex and its ok to have sexuality and to explore it if you so desire. Put the pressure and labels aside and just live.
No problem with "just have fun part"... But I think there comes a time where you get bored/tired of hiding like a mouse in his house.... If we would hang out once in a while outside of the bedroom, the whole casual thing would be more bearable, for me at least
Sounds to me more like game playing. Screw all that psychological mumble. Whole thing seems immature. People should be honest with themselves and each other. The chase and the hunt is ego driven bs. Authenticity is the higher road.
IncarnateFlame I TOTALLY agree w u. So I guess when two mature ppl Come together and are authentic then there will be no games but the majority of men aren’t that way. At least from my experience it’s tough dating!
Great video....I just proved this myself.....in month 7 of doing exactly what Elliot speaks of here...my relationship has gone from friends with benefits to a relationship of feelings on both our sides...I didn’t just date him, I continued on with my life and never waited on him....he’s the one that came to me and said he wasn’t cool with me dating others anymore.....I had to create the desire and show my value and I stayed chilled with all of it and hopefully the relationship will continue to move forward even tho we are not in love , we are giving this newly found feelings time to do their magic and am still continuing to keep a calm attitude without any expectation...just enjoying where we are right now....great videos Elliot ❤️
If a man really likes me then the ball is in my court there is nothing I would do that would make him give up, unless I break up with him but most men are in fact in the hurry to lock me down. The trick is to date multiple guys, never date just one. Men loves competition and women who are adored by other dudes. I want to find out if I am emotionally intellectually and sexually attracted and compatible with them while they just want me to date them exclusively after one date. And I said *Not so fast Jack, I am not sure about you and I yet*. Initially I dont want a relationship I want to find the right person for me first. The sex must be hot, haha!
Guys instinctively know women have a lot of options. You don't need to show you are adored by other men. It's the other way around actually. Men are rewarded for that behavior. Women are thought of as "sluts" for that kinda behavior. It's the reason why men almost always make the first move. Because we know women have so many options and we might lose our shot.
I feel like its the oposite men dont wanna lock me down or dont find many who are resdy to be locked down i mean want a relationship. Coz for me its a relationship i want and sex will come after in the relationship stage not dating stage for me but everyone is different
You’re right Elliot, we have to be up front what we want. If the goal is a long term relationship, let the guy know. If it is hooking up, then let him know.
I just like watching your videos for you now, I'm not even interested in going out with anyone again lol, happy single, independent woman here, but yeah everything u say is 100% to the point!
I’m completely feeling this vibe lately. Honestly not giving a fuhh about the outcome just allowing guys to pursue you and build attraction, and no matter how hot they are... just feeling like they would be lucky to have you- Instead of you being lucky they are even talking to you. After so many times of falling for a guy too fast and feeling in desperate need of a relationship you just should relax, go with the flow and enjoy your life. And when you love yourself enough the right relationship will eventually happen, but until then just chill and have fun. Life should be fun and filled with positive experiences And dating doesn’t have to be complicated unless you make it that way. Just let guys find you 💘
Viktoria good point. Women don't show any love to men and let them jump though hoops to "prove himself" and then wonder why men just run away. It gets pretty exhausting to be honest.
Omg Elliot! This video is so true. That’s what I learned this year tbh with dating. You gotta chill and go with the flow. Be in the moment. If you focus on a relationship status and and the future it’s going to make him feel pressured, which leads him to being scared so he pulls away. Does that make sense? Lol
Joyce Hookimaw I just wish I could follow through I start off good then he continues to show interest so I assume he wants to advance to the next level. Ugh so exhausted w dating for reals
TBH I think this is a little exaggerated: since when do women have to coddle and tiptoe around a man's precious ego until he *feels*!like he wants to intensify the relationship? I've found that men are way to impatient and whatever else to wait 4+ months. 8 months never happens
Here’s the thing....there’s nothing you can do with game players and liars. To me sex is for fun. I say it from the gate but there are still men that think I’m lying or coercing them into a relationship. These guys that want nothing But are flabbergasted that a women doesn’t want them for a relationship so they pursue you to try to get you. Being honest Gets u targeted by guys with egos too big to image that a woman doesn’t want them for anything beyond a good time.
This seems to happen to me a lot with guys, we spark interest, he gives and I take, and then I start giving (time and effort LOL) and then he gets bored and drifts. Or I had always friended guys and became FWB, always fell for them... of course, and they didnt want what I wanted and walked away. Usually after the fact that I got over them, was when they realized they like what I offered and wanted it back, but I still walked. Just would be nice to find someone at the same level where I'm at. I'm not looking, but if they seem interested and put in effort and keep it going, maybe I'll consider putting forth the effort back. I have kids and a life on my own, and just dont have time for these silly games.
Women need to relax! Stop focusing on the end goal, let things unfold naturally and have fun! Nothing spooks a guy more than pressure and expectations. I have a fwb that i have been seeing for 3 months. We enjoy each others company and both agree that our situation doesn't need a label. We aren't seeing other people and we are kind and respectful to each other. He called me babe recently. That blew me away! However, we had both been drinking lol! I haven't brought it up with him. I figure if he feels comfortable saying it again when we are sober, then i will light heartedly discuss it with him. Maybe something like 'hey! Did you forget my name?' Haha! Relax people! And enjoy the journey!
you are not "letting things unfold naturally", you are on a waiting position for this guy for 3 months which is dumb because no man needs 3 months to know if he is in love with you or not. U will learn that when he falls in love with another girl quick.
That's true but thete are guys who are.misleading. not easy to relax when you're being taken for an idiot. Each situation is different and doesn't have a one size fits all answer.
Viktoria Keß I think you misunderstand my situation. I have done marriage and long term relationships. I am not seeking love and commitment. If it happens, it happens. No expectations and no disappointments. Not everyone falls in love in less than 3 months. That emotion takes time. As i have mentioned, our situation suits us both and we have honesty and respect. As well as fun!
So what you're saying is it's only a process of figuring out if one wants to just hook up or have a lifelong relationship? If so, then wouldn't the process be the same for both genders?
That's why I have mind set that I'm not going to involve any kind of relationship in the future. My ex husband cheated on me broke my heart so badly. I can't trust anyone anymore. I don't believe any kind of relationship anymore. It's all just drama, emotions and complex complicated. I'm enjoying my own personal freedom... no more headaches...😎🙂
This is one of the best videos I’ve seen that describes this topic logically where you can understand this particular topic clearly. Everything that is said makes 100% sense. Great job in explaining this. Shared and Subscribed!
Elliott, I would like to hear your analysis on the multiple sexual partners phenomenon : is a man in his mid 30's who wants to keep having multiple partners (but who has been married in the past), a low ego/ broken man?
No. I am 30 and have multiple sexual partners and don't feel like I am broken at least. I just don't want to settle down lol. There is no correlation unless other things are involved.
elliot scott you say: Don't look for an outcome, focus on having fun, hooking up. thats a great idea. but how about a woman just focuses on "make him fall in love hard"? maybe thats also good...if he is in love he will commit
One thing thats real is women sometimes women need to be more honest with themselves about their attractiveness level. If a guy is way hotter/younger than you, he almost certainly is not going to want to seriously date you. Thats the simple truth.
I am a bit more calm now because I've for the first time had a hook up with a guy and I was scared that he just used me and that guys would never pursue a relationship with a girl they've had so ''fast''. However, I did make clear that I have a lot more to offer.We're texting since and he does show interest but he also makes sexual comments I find inappropriate. I just don't know where this is going and whether he just wants sex but I will just try to go with the flow and see where the journey leads me. Also, we both live in two different countries so for me it wouldn't make sense that he keeps talking to me when he just wants sex because he can easily have it from anyone, but then again he might want to keep me safe for future hook ups. I am confused and don't know what his intentions really are, but it might be too early to think of that now anyway. I will take your advice and enjoy the journey! P.s.: ladies how do you find it if a guy makes sexual comments when you text?
What do you mean by not going that fast? Like dating many times or have sex quickly or showing interest and feelings? For ex not been available all the time or? Thanks
Very good way to explain the chase Elliott! Understand this completely as I'm sure other women think the same! Thank you your a great coach and make it more easier in the ways of Love!!
A guy looks at a female instant attraction and wanting to sleep with her is at his for sight. I have seen this in guys that are attracted to me but are scared as hell to approach me. I guess they can see that I'm a no nonsense type of woman or their playing too many games on too many girls because they like picking fruit from the ground and don't want to reach up high.
Elliot this is very clearly very affective and I absolutely agree. I for one sacrificed a career in a marriage for a still growing man. Now in a new country new career path this is coming up again and I am well aware and present, that I am not wasting my time.
