How transparent should we be about money in relationships? 

Everytime I watch a new episode I get to like Lornzie more. She's the friend who's always there for her friends, lets them talk, you'd just feel her presence and it matters. She's lovely, classy and consistent. I stan

I'm like lornzie, I don't talk when everyone else is talking. I listen & give my opinion when time is right. I love you Lornzie

So guys, if you don't tell me as your hubby, boyfriend or partner what you spend on hair, clothes, shoes etc.. what happens when you can't pay for them yourself? You will shock me by telling me you spend 5k on hair, 4k on nails and buy two pairs of shoes at 8k every two months? If I don't know and don't get used to the costs it will always seem expensive. Let your man know. That way he knows what to expect. I think this conversation needs a male perspective. Relationships are about two people and so far what am hearing is very subjective. I believe if you want honesty it can't be conditional. TRUST guys! That is the word.

When Ivy said 'If you show during dating that you can,you will continue to can" I felt that

"Financial stability to a woman is what sex is to a man"... I felt that💯💯

Hi please, I feel like a celeb now. Woohooo. We don't have a joint account. We both have our own separate (multiple) accounts. We agree on what needs doing in the house and then do it depending on who can bring what. He can use 'my' money and I can use 'his'. Even savings are different. We invest together and separately, and we have full knowledge of what we're both doing. We don't declare day by day what we spend money on (that's punitive and we trust each other). I has worked well for us for 10 years

As a Muslim girl my money is my money and my husband's money is my money but I can help him if I choose to. It's the man's responsibility to provide for his family.

"You are not what you earn ,you are what you save", Ivy ~2021

Yes! Yes! On Ivy’s point. My mom told me long before I got married, that whatever money I declare to my partner, it will find a use. So declare that which you are ready to part with.

If you have a man who wants to use your money all the time because they know how much you earn... he doesn't deserve you PERIODT. That's a gold digger

Can we have this conversation again. Possibly with a psychologist, financial adviser and lawyer present.

Lornzie oozes so much grace...

Literally bumped into this just as I was about to make a financially life ruining decision for a man..Bless you girls!

Why does Ivy make me so happy. She is so engaging and captivating.

I think the discussion about financial transparency in relationships/marriage is very individual and shaped by culture/ society, experience, upbringing and so on. My personal experience is that I am married to a man who initially did not earn more than me and still doesn’t but he has more to offer than just finances. Although finances is always a big thing in relationships especially in marriage, I believe how you act and behave in a marriage that determine how well it works or doesn’t. Yes, ideally I would want man who can provide and my money is mine like what Lornzie said but reality is that is not always the case. Financial transparency is all very dependant on a persons values. As long as a man is not complacent and always strives to become better for himself and the family, that for me is the most important thing.

Julez is my spirit animal. I like how genuine she is and that's not just from this video. Always wonder why she's still single. She'll make an awesome wife and mum someday. #wifegoals

*_Notification gang... happy 5 years!! we want a special episode where you edit all your best episodes/bloopers that never made it_* 😅😅😅

At first I thought that this was a sensitive talk for Lorna but on second thoughts I was like she's taking in a few tips from her girls and carefully giving her feedback... Julia makes me feel so normal yaaani,wacha tu This episode should have a part 2

Not me enjoying this "serious" topics at 18😅I've learnt alot..Love you guys❤️❤️

The financial literacy in Ivy! I want 📌🤗

In dating - NO In marriage - YES BUT... ( depends on your partner, wengine ni nyang’au 😂😂)

I am from the school of thought that it is OUR money if we are married. We all have one pot that we take from and there is one hundred percent transparency. We were made to be ONE when we got married. If you chose your partner right I don't think it should be an issue. In our household we have a financial meeting we know what we are saving towards everything.

I died when Julia got to defence mode as soon as Shiki said long term relationships 🤣🤣🤣🤣

You get to truly know and understand a man when he has money and you get to truly know and understand a woman when she doesn’t have money!

Hello Jules. The epitome of class, beauty & brains. Not to mention intellectual flawless, yet single. You make me feel normal.

I almost forgot Lorna was in the episode until 11:53. The patience! she just listened

Yaani you can be with someone commited long term and have kids and still not trust each other with money? Like what is the point of being together? How do you save for investments or buying home, how do you plan for kids? How do you plan for holidays? Like this is your life partner, your thoughts this episode are really shocking 😅

This is an important conversation. My opinion is FULL DISCLOSURE. Either that or just stay single.. Maoni yangu tu.

Preach girl preach, Lornzie!! 12:01. That is exactly me... I am a proponent of disclosing once you are committed to one another especially if your partner has proved that he can take care of you 100% without questioning your expenses. I make a fifth of my husband's income, and we have joint accounts, joint investments, and I have never regretted it. I think I would say every relationship is different, whatever rocks your boat. I think it depends on one's relationship with money...I have been married for16 yrs, and I have never regretted having our finances in the same pot, all our money flows in the same stream and I just do not think about it. When dating I never declared.

Julia is my spirit animal in relationships. We need more of her very relatable relationship stories.

Is there such a thing as "A level of transparency?" It's either you are transparent or not, there is no in-between.🤷‍♀️

Wow Lorna....this girl spoke at min 12....it could never be me or Juli..we love talking

Congratulations on 5 years!! So much love from Nigeria 🇳🇬 💕

I love today's episode, money in relationships is a conversation we skirt around yet it's a vital factor! as Jules said it's a make it or break it!

I've been watching y'all since the beginning and every episode is just better and better. loovveee it!!

I love the way Jules throws her hands ... You must get the point. I subscribe ❤️

I still believe there should be a lot of Financial transparency is all marriages. It's easy to say you hide when you are earning alot. When you don't have that money, you will want to be supported.

Gotta like and comment before i watch.. Monday blues for who? 💪

Always feels like am catching up with my elder sisters whenever am here.....😍love you guys.

Such an important conversation ladies, love your Monday morning videos 👌🏽

This conversation made me rethink of so many things... I love love it.

I've been watching since I left form four three years ago I love how all the conversations have elevated throughout that period

I started watching your content when I turned 25, I turn 27 on 31st May. Your content is literally some of what is holding this over 25 shit show together. Thank you always ❤️

Just stumbled on this nikibrowse streets za RU-vid. Love your content, love the realness and calling it is,i think am gona still around.

I love Jules.... I soo relate with her in soo many ways.... You are so real........

Wow, this was such a nice conversation, I wish there was a part 2 I feel like a lot was left unsaid like expectations, boundaries...

Its like you ladies read my mind .I was about to post a suggestion about this topic .Thank you so much

Hey, Before we talk about finances in context of a relationship,do we know and understand; 1. Our money/wealth personality? 2. Our influences when it comes to money and their origins? 3. Our money insecurities? 4. Our money aspirations and what has informed them? This allows one to come to the conversation ready to unpack what it means to them, whilst more open to listen to where their partner is coming from. Money personality changes based on many factors, having frequent money dates allows each of you to know where one is based on the season.

Property inherited does not form part of matrimonial property for the record. As a family lawyer it is amusing to hear this thoughts on non- disclosure of what one earns , in my assessment this attributes to many divorces as their is no trust between the partners. It's also sad when we do succession and the family cannot even trace the properties that a deceased spouse / relative had

Well done ladies... Relate so much with Jules here.

100% Trust on your partner = 100% Transparency Financially.

Your diverse perspectives is really valid. Love this show💚

Situational wisdom! Well said.

I'm not married yet but from the outside looking in, I see a lot of financial trauma probably innate, drawn from past experiences or based on societal experiences and even just self preservation. I don't think there's a one size-fits all answer regarding financial transparency in marriage/relationship. I think before taking that step, you need to incorporate financial counselling as part of marriage counselling. Consult lawyers privately and as a couple, know your rights and put appropriate safeguards in place. Because it's absurd to trust someone with your life and the lives of your innocent children but not trust them with your money. We've heard stories where husbands have died leaving their families in chaos because of hidden property, wives being landlords while their husbands struggle to pay rent...it's sad. Break the cycle.

Amazing amaziiiiin conversations here..juicy..educative..relatable..imformative..entertaining...Living for this Content

I love this channel so much, congratulations on your 100k subbies 💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾milestone you Guys deserve it.

I am 22 years and i swear I learn alot from you guys...mad love❤️❤️❤️

This conversation is powerful indeed

1.Financial transparency is key in long term relationships. Finances are used to plan & make decisions such as lifestyle and home ownership(mortgage) as a long term investment. 2.Patriarchy is outdated. Case scenario: a man is expected to provide and the woman is to take care of the house right? The man provides, are you staying at home? No! Times have changed you’ve got a career to build. Ulienda shule ukaange kwa nyumba?? You need the income. Self fulfillment when you work perhaps? Marriage ni 50/50.

The first conversation I had with my then partner was about our finances. I am fully aware of how much he has, which is about 20 million. Still, I will not allow myself or him to feel like he needs to take care of me. I refuse to lose my independence. What I get paid in a month is what he uses in a week and a half. My current challenge is that his goals and projected goals for us are so big that I am basically useless and it's a lot of pressure because like Jules, I have been the wealthier one but here in this relationship, I am not. My independence and financial security are very important to me, the thought of losing them is hard. Then there's the whole paradox of "let men lead". Okay, cool, I am but I am a person too, I need to be able to take care of myself and be my own backup plan. RELATIONSHIPS AND MONEY ARE COMPLICATED. I am just happy that our problem is not that we don't have, it's that we have and we both have egos. It's very comfortable and paralyzing at the same time.

I love this conversation I was soo torn in between declaring and not. Now I know why not. Thanks.

I feel Jules when she says, my feelings died when i ended up paying for everything whenever we go out.

GREAT TOPIC! I really enjoyed watching this

Question 1: You need full transparency of how much you both earn to influence decisions on where to invest (home ownership for example needs full disclosure from both partners. The bank needs this information for example and they advise on the maximum you can borrow). 2. There's a need for full transparency to plan rent, choice of school for the kids, career breaks and general standards of living. So if you are not transparent, how do you go about the first 2 points? Question 2: Is the issue that if you show a man you can pay, you end up paying for everything OR is the issue his relationship with money? is it guaranteed that if you show don't show him you CAN, then he will continue paying? Question 3: How does the lack of transparency manifest into trust issues and other relationship dynamics?

Loved this episode. In the past I have been guilty of carry more of the financial weight and that destroyed the relationship because deep down I knew he was free loading and I was using money to keep him happy. Now I have matured and have established boundaries. My earnings is the reward for my labour and I will contribute freely once it's within established boundaries. It makes life easier.

Woohoo!!! Road to 100k... Y'all are amazing. Love love your content.

Loved this episode 🥰

Thanks for this topic... Let there be a part 2 alot still needs to be discussed

I Honestly feel like you should do longer videos ...Love you guys

Marking the register (although late). Love you ladies and your content!!

this is such a necessary topic!! thankyou

Ivy the way you explained Benjamin Zulu way of talking is true...,😂😂 Plus you are what you save not what you earn.

This is a great way to start the day ☺️

Such an insightful episode! Thank you ladies. Yaaay road to 100K 🥳

This is so informative... Loved it!

I love ivy, she's total energy ,

Totally love this episode!! I relate to Julz on so many levels 😅😅😅

It is shocking how I relate to you guys despite the age huge difference😆. Mob love😍

The energy I get from you ladies 😉😘😘😘😘. Real vibe 💯. I love how I learn good serious stuff while laughing saaana. Merci,🙏🙏

Happy Turning to you guys. I love what Jules has said. If there's anything that has taught me, is this Covid-19 period, guys have lost their jobs and others have received paycuts. So, in as much as a man feels his most confidence self when he provides for his fam, but then the pandemic happened, the wife, if she's in a position to, will step up. Let's support each other to work hard so that when one partner's season is on the low, the other can support the fam.

I enjoyed this so much!! And I also think they all have a great sense of humour 😜 Love! Love! ❣️

i don't think its natural for men to want to provide. This is especially when they know you are capable of pitching in. They feel the pinch just like any human being. However,this is different if they can do it comfortably without any hustle. This is true for any human being.

Aki i love the new consistency,,,,and the topics are ahmaizing💥💥,,,,i wish it were possible to subscribe more than once aki,,,much love ladies❤️❤️

Getting big girl advice everydayyyy!!!!

Julia are you me? Am I you? Great episode.

I love this conversation.

I really resonate with Julia stories😂😂😂hizi streets 😭😭😭 Mimi I want to be spoiled 😂😂

Juwls and I same wozzap.. The empathy on 2000%.

I loved this conversation, please do part 2

This episode brings into perspective very many marriages/situation-ships all around us.

Woooommmeeennnn......!! I have to shout this one.......keep your money private. Listen to Ivy and Shiks. Love you lovelies

100% Ivy! Once you declare the money, it finds ways to be put to use.

Wow!!this episode!! I learnt the hard way not to disclose my financial status

This video was needed!!!

Quite informative, always love you guys. I relate with Jules situation, money can devastate a relationship. My advice date someone you comfortable with, mtu amejituma.

This episode came at the right time for me, thanks! Currently reading rich dad poor dad ,I'd recommend it to anyone ,its quite helpful in creating and managing finances.

@jules Attached is a greaaaatttt book! Thanks for the recommendation!

just found out that I was among the 60% ........ so I had to hit the subscription button and the bell of course

I think Lornzie perspective is very correct. The Corona period really taught me alot on transparency and accountability with money especially in marriage!!

I relate so much to Julia