Husband Got a DUI (I’ve Reached My Breaking Point!)

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Husband Got a DUI (I’ve Reached My Breaking Point!)
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Комментарии : 225

@pattimartin859 8 месяцев назад

I worked in healthcare x35 years. Level one trauma CTR. One night we got a man that was 3x the legal limit. Driving/speeding 100+mph when he hit a young man and his date leaving the prom. She was killed on impact. The boy was air lifted to another trauma CTR. We got the drunk!!!!!!! When his wife was notified of the accident she immediately called a lawyer who was then standing in the ER barking orders that NO blood alcohol levels were to be drawn. By the time he made it to the ICU there was a security guard posted 24 /7 to insure that only nurses and Dr were allowed in the room. Long story short........that piece of crap got a reduction in jail time and the other two families got to bury their children . DO NOT DEFEND A DRUNK HUSBAND

@candyluna2929 8 месяцев назад

WTF how is that even possible for a lawyer to tell doctors how to do their jobs

@brookiegremlin6660 7 месяцев назад

@@candyluna2929 I'm a lawyer, and I assure you it don't work like that. I'm also wondering how they knew he was "3x legal limit" when "NO blood alcohol level were to be drawn."

@ariwright206 7 месяцев назад

@@candyluna2929they probably just delayed the process of care by getting the ethics, risk management, and administration depts involved because they'd rather be safe then headfirst in a lawsuit would be my guess.

@handsomeawkward1822 5 месяцев назад

Bullshit

@NuFyfer 8 месяцев назад

Spot on to be very clear. My first husband started using drugs. I moved out, gave him 3 months to clean up, and said if he did clean up then we would talk. Otherwise divorce. He didn't clean up, we divorced, and I've always been grateful that 1) I was very clear to him and myself, and 2) it was very clear that he made his choice.

@TheBourbon88 8 месяцев назад

I lost my mamma due to a drunk driver. Your husband should know he's a dodged a bullet. Knowing he could affect someone's life the way mine has been affected should be enough for him to never do it again. I was 13 years old. She was 30. I've missed sooo much without her. My son is 22 years old and never got to know her. That was in 1990. The pain is real. It never goes away. Her name was Echo.

@melissab3217 8 месяцев назад

I'm sorry this happened to you. You deserved your mom to be there. ❤

@Snipesshotz 8 месяцев назад

🙏🏿

@LetsGoYall 8 месяцев назад

Sorry for your loss, I lost my younger brother to a drunk driver as well❤❤❤

@TheBourbon88 8 месяцев назад

Ditto darlin! @@LetsGoYall

@supernova11711 8 месяцев назад

I’ve never met a person with that name. It’s beautiful. I’m so sorry this happened to you and your family.

@veggiesarefruits 8 месяцев назад

No, no, no. Not, "if you drink and get in a car again...". It's, "if you drink again". Period. His issue isn't a driving issue. His issue is a drinking issue.

@randyadams1312 8 месяцев назад

My dad has 3 DUIs. He’s been drinking and driving since before I was born (I’m 34, almost 35). He never believes he is at fault. He will blame the police and say they need to pull over and arrest so many people or he got the cop on a bad night. I go out on occasion, but never drive if consuming any alcohol. I take an Uber or bus. If a bar is in an area too far to Uber I don’t go there or go and don’t drink. The fact that people can’t grasp this idea amazes me. My dad has 3 DUIs, I have 0.

@orangesplaylist 8 месяцев назад

My cousin's like this. Put him in jail, too. I can't grasp why people keep drinking and driving

@chandlersBolts 8 месяцев назад

@@orangesplaylist it’s because whether they know it or not, they hate themselves so much that they don’t care. And often they get comfort from staying in the pain and they feel like they deserve it. They will give their own lives to avoid dealing with whatever the source is. The reason you don’t get it is because you’ve never been there.

@blueseptember2174 8 месяцев назад

@@chandlersBoltsI know you think healthy people don't get it. But alot of us do get it. We've been through abandonment, physical and sexual abuse, depression, grief etc. It's free will how we deal with it. But alot of us get the self loathing but still could never put an unwilling soul in our path of self destruction so we make better choices. Please stop saying people dont get it. We do. But we won't enable further addiction or justify it.

@user-if4ke6en9r 8 месяцев назад

@@chandlersBoltsI drink, I drink a lot for someone my age with my job and my life. I have two dogs, been married over a year, I’m in mostly good health. But that’s not enough, so I drink, and I smoke the herb, and I vape. But I have never in my life drove drunk, at most I’ve drove after 3 drinks. We don’t get it, or they don’t have the capacity to realize that other people die every hour from their selfishness?

@Shalerboy101 8 месяцев назад

No one has said it, but I will. Good job, man. I know a lot of people that, if put in your situation, would follow the same path their father did and end up just like them. They would continue to participate in generational trauma. You’re different, keep it up!

@melissab3217 8 месяцев назад

One of my first crushes died driving drunk. He was an amazing person - extremely smart, charismatic, and ambitious. In his early 20s he was already working for a state senator and was well on the way to being one himself. One bad decision to drive home after a party cost him all of that. He survived initially, but his family had to make the terrible decision to pull the plug. No one should ever have to do that.

@stuff1784 8 месяцев назад

😳😳😳

@pnwadventurer802 8 месяцев назад

Not that smart if he drove drunk

@melissab3217 8 месяцев назад

@@pnwadventurer802 no, it was a dumb decision. He's someone you'd never expect to do somethinglike that. Straight As and going places until he wasn't.

@MN-br5nb 8 месяцев назад

I’m sorry. That’s the thing with alcohol, best to not be a drinker. One bad move and it seems it takes it all from you…I hope his family is ok.

@dummgelauft 7 месяцев назад

"Amazing" people don't drive while intoxicated.

@mozerm 8 месяцев назад

I've been sober for a while now (luckily never had a DUI) and attend AA meetings regularly. I know several people in AA who came into the program on the back of a DUI and stayed and stayed sober. I hope her husband is one of those cases.

@HOLDXSTEEL 8 месяцев назад

AA doesn’t ever help it’s all bull

@mozerm 8 месяцев назад

@@HOLDXSTEEL You're entitled to your opinion. Not my experience.

@carnivoreRon 8 месяцев назад

I lost an uncle and aunt to a drunk driver. I never got to meet them. I truly hope he works extra to pay off the bills he caused. That's money and support he has taken from his wife and children because of his actions. He should be ashamed.

@Cowgirlkate 8 месяцев назад

She’s married to an alcoholic, and she needs to go to Alanon meetings for her own sanity. If you choose to stay with him, and he continues to drink, you will have to leave. I hope he doesn’t kill somebody!!

@veggiesarefruits 8 месяцев назад

Yes, exactly. Dr. Delony isn't getting that this isn't about the drinking and driving. It's about the drinking. He should've said, "if you drink again, I am filing for divorce". Not, "if you drink and get into a car again, I'm filing for divorce". I've seen alcoholics follow some consequences before, as long as those consequences mean they can keep drinking. "If you keep going to bars and sleeping around, I'm taking the kids and leaving". Then he just stays at home and continues to drink. She's going to end up with an alcoholic husband, sitting on his butt AT HOME, making her life more miserable, if she doesn't get serious about the real issue here: the addiction itself.

@melissam6037 8 месяцев назад

@@veggiesarefruitsexactly. My ex husband kept drinking but just started using taxis (this was before Uber) instead of driving. But he was binge drinking to being disgustingly drunk all the time.

@user-do2ev2hr7h 2 месяца назад

I think he gets that but he also knows there's no way you can make someone stop drinking. He's saying "if you insist on continuing drinking it cannot be in a way that puts others at risk"

@lisahinkofer2085 8 месяцев назад

If he gets locked up let him sit in jail. He has an addiction and he needs help. No matter what you believe in him as far as cleaning himself up. It’s up to him to get sober. My heart goes out to you. I have been through exactly what you are going through. Take care of you. Stand by him if he decides to get sober. But if he doesn’t well you should be thinking about going. Good luck sweetheart and remember he is responsible for his drinking and he is responsible for his family

@kopsie6379 8 месяцев назад

This story is a repeat for me, as I had a similar relationship w a man w 2 DUIs in 5 yrs. Dr John is 100% correct. Strong boundaries, put your soul first, sweet lady.

@gizelegrillo134 8 месяцев назад

Regardless of leaving or staying, she has self healing to do. I recommend a podcast called Love over Addiction hosted by Michelle Anderson, starting with the oldest episodes. John's advice is on point, but I know for a fact that it is not that straight forward for her. After years of being married to an alcoholic, our mental health reflects the illness as well.

@smustipher 8 месяцев назад

I was in 2 near fatal car wrecks before the age of 7 because my mother was driving drunk. I never got to talk to her about it (she gave up custody of myself and my sister when I was 10 and passed when I was 19), but I suspect she was unhappy in her marriage and was looking for a way out. Thankfully no one has any permanent injuries, I am thankful I learned early on to NEVER drink and drive. It is NOT worth it, ever.

@LaurenAshleyVideos 4 месяца назад

I almost married a guy who had a drinking problem. So glad I didn’t end up getting married. By the time I had to take him to the hospital for the second time from intense stomach pains from drinking I just knew this isn’t going to work. It made my anxiety 10x worse and hearing people get sick triggers me and brings me back to his drunken nights. I pray he gets better.. but 6 years later since we’ve broken up he still is drinking. But I hope he will get better, but it just won’t be with me.

@coxrocks25 8 месяцев назад

People keep thinking that saying the truth to your loved one is not loving. Telling the truth when it's super hard is the definition of true love

@chandlersBolts 8 месяцев назад

It’s a 2 way street…

@coxrocks25 8 месяцев назад

@chandlersBolts yes. Everyone should tell each other the truth and get over their offended nature. That's the two way street

@amethystfeathers7324 8 месяцев назад

This is the husband's defining monent and her chance to deal with this. Unfortunately I stayed married to a drinker for 25 years and it was a huge mistake. Look at his actions, not his words. I've heard all the I don't have a problem, I can manage it myself lies and it's meaningless. Good luck.

@jh26pt2 8 месяцев назад

Good advice here from Dr. Delony. Instead of vague, “if you do X again, that’s it” type statements, spell out exactly what the consequences will be. If they continue their behavior, then they’ve made their choice.

@Afrinaturality 8 месяцев назад

The person making the statement has to be ready to follow through.

@chandlersBolts 8 месяцев назад

I actually don’t think this is good advice at all. It will only force the separation. And that’s fine if you are already looking to leave. But if you have any desire to help out support this person as they try to navigate out of what is probably a lifetime low point, this is not what you say.

@blueseptember2174 8 месяцев назад

@@chandlersBoltswhen you stay and they really haven't changed, you yourself develop mental health issues and autoimmune disease from the deep stress and anxiety. At some point as much as you love the person you have to decide not to go down with a voluntarily sinking ship. She can still love him and leave the door open saying when he starts to change, she'll be there for him but not until he puts down the bottle for good.

@MRkriegs 8 месяцев назад

No trying to help the man with his drinking problems and encourages divorce. Not sure how this is good advice...

@chandlersBolts 8 месяцев назад

@@blueseptember2174 and I agree with you fully. If he doesn’t change, she decides within herself what she will do. And she should 100% go if this does not change. But this is likely going to be his personal low point and his personal ship just ran into the rocks. She’s upset, hurt, and ashamed save trying to figure out how to process that. But he has been handed his consequence which will be severe. She needs to tell him how hurt and betrayed she feels. And he needs to put in the work to repair that. She stated that he knows he messed up and has already said this is change he wants to make. We can’t assume he’ll fail, we don’t have enough information. It’s just anecdotal to say so about a very complex person and scenario. If this…, then this…statements have their place in basic scenarios. But this is deep and complex and will hurt more than help in the scenario she described.

@Michael-ft9pm 8 месяцев назад

Stay single. Life is easier.

@greenAbbot 8 месяцев назад

But not nearly as good.

@galaxyglitterlatte4664 6 месяцев назад

@@greenAbbotThen why is the divorce rate SO high if it's "so good"? I'm very happy living life on my own. I do not need another person to complete me or make me happy.

@javaskull88 7 месяцев назад

Denial truly is a symptom of alcoholism. In his mind he truly, really does not believe he has a problem. Neither did my sister, who died of end stage alcoholism. It’s crazy.

@ebriggs3498 5 месяцев назад

Yup, both my sisters died of alcohol related disease, on the same day, in different states, in 2021! I’m so broken hearted, but both of them made excuses and thought “they could handle it.”

@luannkelly5071 8 месяцев назад

My dad chose drinking over his 30 year marriage to my mom. This wife just doesn't follow through on her threats and he knows it. She has to make a plan to move out. He will probably choose the booze over her. 😢😢😢😢

@GAFB1122 8 месяцев назад

I've met a lot of guys who think they are rough and tough and yet the bottle, the can, a joint, a pill, the needle, a line of powder you name it kicks their butt every day. Substance abuse is a weakness on the users part. No matter how tough you think you are, clearly you are not tough enough to say "No".

@blueseptember2174 8 месяцев назад

Put s$x addiction and p@rn addiction in there too.

@chandlersBolts 8 месяцев назад

While I agree that these things can overpower anyone, I don’t think it’s fair to call it a matter of strength or weakness. Lifting heavy weights has nothing to do with emotional healthiness or maturity. You have to love and value your own life in order to say no. And you really have to love and value your own life to say no once you’ve started down this path. There is a fundamental issue here and frankly just calling someone a “pu$$y” isn’t helpful.

@GAFB1122 8 месяцев назад

@chandlersBolts Do you honestly think that strength or weakness is just physical? 🤔 Strength of character is what makes a person tough and saying "No" to a substance or a behavior that is destructive and brings harm to yourself and others is strength of character!!

@chandlersBolts 8 месяцев назад

@@GAFB1122 I didn’t say that.. you did;) you just reiterated my point.

@GAFB1122 8 месяцев назад

@chandlersBolts Whether someone can lift 200 lbs or fight their way out of a paperbag means little to nothing to me. Strength of character means everything to me. Since you said I just reiterated my original comment, then a direct reply to your last sentence in your previous reply to me should cover it. Calling someone a "pu$$y" because they lack a strong character to say no to harmful substances or bad behaviors may not be that helpful, but it's what I think and what I would refer to them as. Just saying!

@Ohboycommentsection 8 месяцев назад

Lost my first childhood friend who was killed by a drunk driver. She was only 19 when hit. If there's anything I have learned about people who drive when not sober is that they are unguided missiles who don't care who they hurt or kill. Some acts are utterly unforgivable.

@lilmakori 8 месяцев назад

Girl leave him

@vjs4539 8 месяцев назад

DUI needs to be charged as attempted murder

@chandlersBolts 8 месяцев назад

You have no idea what you are talking about. That’s like saying homelessness should be a felony.

@AgentClaytonWebb 8 месяцев назад

I agree with VJS here… DUI charges don’t seem to hold any kind of weight these days!

@mandypdx 7 месяцев назад

No. I got one when i was 18, one beer and well under the legal limit… but since i was under 21, i got a dui. I learned my lesson. I’ve gone on to getting a master’s, working for a hospital for 20 years, creating a beautiful family with 3 babies… that would have ruined my life :(

@Goosewitdajuice317 7 месяцев назад

@@mandypdx people scream harsh punishment until they are the one being punished. People like the op are loons who need help

@geometerfpv2804 6 месяцев назад

@@AgentClaytonWebb Are you kidding? The punishments are already unbelievably harsh. We are at the point where cops are pulling over people who blow zero, but make their own "sobriety assessment" and ruin that person's life anyway. Let's not give them any more leverage. DUI already has plenty of mandatory minimums, it's taken extremely seriously...some people just always want more punishment...there are tradeoffs to this stuff. Do you really want to end the life of a person who had a glass of wine and is a single point over?

@jrod198289 8 месяцев назад

Got a DUI 2 years and it was the best thing for me. Stopped drinking and put all that time and money into learning how to invest in the stock market.

@jasminebaby3375 8 месяцев назад

🚩🚩🚩I had a friend who got DUI she was heart broken and sad bcos she thinks she is not your typical alcoholic that drinks everyday. She doesn’t know how to control her drinking when she is socializing. I said to her I can’t be friends with someone who will choose to be a murderer or an ex con ❌❌❌. She was so upset with me but later told me my disgusting comment made her stop drinking 😂. Sometimes you have to tell the painful truth!!

@melissab3217 8 месяцев назад

I don't understand why anyone drinks and drives. It's just so selfish and irresponsible. He's lucky he didn't seriously hurt himself or anyone else. It's only a matter of time.

@chandlersBolts 8 месяцев назад

This is a very “high horse” type of statement. Everyone knows it’s destructive, it doesn’t need additional affirmation. The reason you don’t get it is because you’ve never been there. People do crazy irrational things trying to chase a high to cover and avoid their pain. Most people can’t even articulate why they are doing it in the moment. Yes…drinking and driving is bad…AND…yes people in a lot of pain turn to alcohol which creates bad outcomes.

@blueseptember2174 8 месяцев назад

@@chandlersBoltsyou got to endure the pain and get help when and where you can in a healthy way. Honestly they are right because it doesn't make sense that because you are hurt, you dull your pain by hurting others in the same way or worse of which you were hurt. I've been abused and could never continue that cycle even with as much righteous rage as I felt at the time.

@chandlersBolts 8 месяцев назад

@@blueseptember2174 I don’t know you or your life and I am sad to hear that you have that in your past. With that said this situation isn’t because he set out to harm someone. It’s not like he was firing a weapon into a crowd with a high likelihood of serious consequences and consciously doing it anyway. Also, everyone knows smoking will kill them, why do they do it? It starts small…you had a tough day or week and all of a sudden a couple drinks muted that. It builds as you grow older and all of sudden you’re living the life they told you to live working some dumb job you hate, a mountain of bills, everyone telling you what you should do and you have almost nowhere to escape. You dreamed of a lot of things and you know that this mostly isn’t that. Add that into your childhood baggage you’re provably carrying… More drinks…more drinks .. just having fun with boys because it reminds you when times were good…and boom…dui. This isn’t a cycle of continuing abuse…it’s usually a desperate misguided cycle of trying to find peace that fails miserably leaving disastrous unintended consequences.

@blueseptember2174 8 месяцев назад

@@chandlersBolts yeah, I can't agree. We've known since high school drivers ed and common sense that drinking and driving can kill(plus dui) so you know you run that risk going into it. Kind of like unprotected sex runs you the risk of getting pregnant. Like when people say, we weren't trying(OK but you weren't protecting either so let's not act clueless). Not saying pregnancy is bad, rather it's a blessing. Just making a comparison in that actions always equal consequences. I don't need to relive better times even with the abandonment I currently carry around because I live in the present and for my future. If we can't learn from the consequences of others then there is a learning issue. I've got problems. Big problems. But they will not be self created that I can tell you because who needs the drama and drain.

@shareetucker8238 8 месяцев назад

Delony! I asked my husband for sobriety, he asked me for a divorce. I don’t know what your live time is but I should call you.

@davidsensing2664 7 месяцев назад

Dr John is right on. Trust is earned over time but lost in an instant. He has lost her trust. He needs to have himself in AA classes every day the doors are open in order to begin to prove himself worthy of her trust again. That is what it will take.

@shakirajohnson369 Месяц назад

He has to be completely sober....its not a drinking and driving issue. It's a drinking issue. My ex husband had many DUIs. Went to jail and said he was done drinking. That lasted 4 days after his return from incarceration. After our marriage ended he continued getting DUIs...luckily he never hurt anyone else. Sadly he passed away...he partied himself to death at 50 years old. He was an enthusiastic, brilliant, loved dad, son, uncle, brother. He was an industrial engineer and just got his dream job....

@nancypicchi9224 8 месяцев назад

She needs to file a legal separation today! Alcohol is a mistress that never leaves your home.

@MRkriegs 8 месяцев назад

So much for trying to help ur partner with their problems, it's just leave them to the wolves and then divorce. Sad sad

@AgentClaytonWebb 8 месяцев назад

@@MRkriegs there’s a time when you can’t reason with someone who doesn’t want to reason.

@AG-rc2np 8 месяцев назад

Something that is overlooked is this women is probably embarrassed and ashamed to be with a guy who gets a DUI. Women do not like to be embarrassed.

@greenAbbot 8 месяцев назад

Nobody likes to be embarrassed.

@amethystfeathers7324 8 месяцев назад

That is 100% true in my experience.

@lizziekwow9321 6 дней назад

My brother had a very bad drinking problem growing up. 4 DUIs, went to jail for his third and for a 4th. He’s been sober for a few years now but even after going to jail he didn’t quit drinking for long. Had to change his friends, who wanted to drink and didn’t care what it did to him. You are who you spend your time with. Find new friends. My brother had to move 2 hours away from home to solve it, when he came back he’d always start drinking again. After his 4th he made a decision he was finally done.

@jasonmedeiros9492 8 месяцев назад

LEAVE HIM, I HAD TO LEAVE MY GAMBLING ADDICT. THEY DON’t CARE.

@jasonmedeiros9492 8 месяцев назад

TELL THE LITTLE BOY TO GROW UP!

@vanessapanek9959 8 месяцев назад

And you’re gonna have to get what’s called an SR 22, which is a special certificate to allow the insurance company to even ensure him as a driver now because he got a DUI

@patchrudinsky6125 8 месяцев назад

When a person gets to the alcoholic stage,where they join AA,there is no drinking at home, in a bar, at a cookout, at a ballgame ,nowhere ,alcohol is an addiction,that will never be cured if drinking is continued.I could write pages on alcoholism,but I won’t here.I loved my husband and was married for 19years,he went thru AA,only to sneak it in the garage ,the basement,wherever he could stash it I left and when I did and he knew I was serious, he quit cold turkey(no treatment) I had been out of his life for 3years but he gave up on getting me back, but he didn’t give up on loving me,he died loving me,he was in an accident driving an atv,drinking and not knowing how to handle the machine.Our 5 children had to go on with me alone,without their dad.I don’t wish that life on anyone.They always have an excuse,his came to an end.

@dking1362 7 месяцев назад

So sorry...how terribly difficult for you, for him, and for your children.

@delightschwartz2155 Месяц назад

I can relate, my late FIL was a lifelong alcoholic who started at age 10 as a homeless child, breaking into houses for food and liquor to kill hunger pangs. He'd found the perfect hiding place for his bottles. He'd buy a 3 lb small bag of crushed ice and his bottle, and stash both in the toilet tank. Perfectly chilled and on tap so to speak. It took his family a long time to figure it out.. After taking 18 years of alcohol-fueled beatings and cheating/disappearing for weeks with fellow drinkers, my MIL threw him out and divorced him. Eight yrs later, in July 1983, sheriffs found a body way out in the country behind an old deserted farm shack. The new owner had a demo permit for the structure but he called the sheriff when he saw bones and bottles inside. The remains were pretty skeletal, but the wallet and ID were nearby... no one, family, friends, kids, drinking buddies had seen him since April of that year. My ex had plenty of other demons but growing up the eldest son of an alcoholic scarred him so deeply, he never drank the entire decade I was with him. Anyway, when my MIL was told where her ex had been found, she said that the farm used to belong to another drinker friend of his who'd died a few years earlier on the property. In both deaths they'd not been seen alive for at least two months, but no one even reported them missing, because for the last decade, they lived as itinerants, going wherever the next bottle beckoned. That shack was where both went to die apparently, the friend in 1980, my FIL in 1983. Sad.

@debbiey9452 7 месяцев назад

A friend of mine just spent the past year dealing with and spending $20,000 on his DUI.

@bres9977 8 месяцев назад

I don’t have respect for people who drink and drive: they have NO consideration for the lives of others. Absolutely nothing should be sugar coated for them: they have taken and ruined so many lives with no abandon and it’s never their first time drinking and driving. She needs to get a backbone and put her foot down because there will be shame, embarrassment and financial ramifications for them if he continues.

@kounterklokwize 8 месяцев назад

I would love to call in from an alcoholic point of view that has had four DUIs and never spent a day in jail, has four kids, a wife and own an architecture firm. I have been through treatment, AA, sober living and all the things…. My wife can give much insight and so can I. Point is… you can give all the alternatives but is he isn’t ready then it’s not gonna work. The DUI is just a guardrails that’s trying to get him to get back on track. I want to know more about the situation though, alcohol is a symptom. I have so much to say! DONT BE THROUGH WITH HIM. It can be better!

@jimmymcgill6778 8 месяцев назад

He will not go to jail for a first time DUI. Especially when no one was hurt.

@vanessapanek9959 8 месяцев назад

By the time everything’s all set and done with insurance and fines and a lawyer you’re looking at like $15-$30,000

@dking1362 7 месяцев назад

Yikes! Really??

@SycaShow 8 месяцев назад

Three years of probation $4000 fine, one year, hard suspension, 3 to 6 months of AA meetings, no jail time, reparations for the damage property

@chem3066 8 месяцев назад

Its a lot more than 4000 in Michigan

@BG-nm5xt 8 месяцев назад

Plus attorney fees and not being able to drive, job problems, transportation issues. Can't drink anymore or back to jail.

@SycaShow 8 месяцев назад

@@chem3066 it’s not much in Cali I paid 2500 but did lose my job making 60 😅 but got my license back 👍 don’t drink anymore unless it’s 1942

@SycaShow 8 месяцев назад

@@BG-nm5xt yea I had to change my number and friends and Hybernate

@Hilary945 8 месяцев назад

His crime put people at risk, and now it's going to be a financial burden that will extract money from you. Get a divorce and protect yourself because he's clearly not interested in doing so.

@drewbear17 8 месяцев назад

He will stop drinking because he will have to. At least until his probation is over so whether or not you believe him he will probably stop drinking. He also needs to lawyer up. Depending on his situation things may be able to get fixed. Also if this is a DUI and not a DWAI you’re dealing with 10,000. Sorry for what you’re going through. He needed this. Whether or not you want to walk this path with him is up to you. He may become a better person because of this unless he has a substance issue. Don’t give him the or else speech. Be kind be loving but be clear you can’t live your life this way.

@lisayeary4256 8 месяцев назад

My husband quit his alcoholism by committing suicide. I'm crushed.

@lindajohnson3247 8 месяцев назад

Sorry for your loss, Lisa 😰.

@itsdavidlo 8 месяцев назад

You’re both better off.

@builtontherockhomestead9390 7 месяцев назад

Got a friend whose brother killed someone. It took 7 DUIs and prison to get clean and wake up. Even after killing a woman, he still thought he would be out of jail asap. Denial is huge.

@bettysmith4527 8 месяцев назад

Not sure this lady understands that alcohol is an addiction, he is past the point of it being a choice.

@jaqueitch 8 месяцев назад

Is this husband 22?? Wtf... Leave this child

@vanessapanek9959 8 месяцев назад

If you don’t like the rules of the house that we are responsible adults the doors right there don’t let it hit you on the way out now. Stand your ground and don’t back out.

@rogermarr9067 7 месяцев назад

I'll admit it. I got my first DUI last year. I wasn't blackout drunk. It was after work. Took a co-worker home. Had two beers drove home.. something I had done a thousand times it feels like. I'm upset about it ashamed but it doesn't automatically mean that I'm an alcoholic or have a serious drinking problem.. but then again it also could.. but reading all these comments of all these people saying all this stuff makes me think that a lot of people have superiority complexes and are very judgmental. I'm not saying I'm drinking and driving is not wrong 100% it is. It's against the law, but so many people in these comments are just saying forget your husband move on and I can't understand that my wife has stood by my side. We've dealt with everything. They've told me how to deal with from the courts and it has made me have to look at what I do more carefully and a common bricks with it by do have a problem or if this was an accident. Sometimes its truthfully hard to tell. I'm 44 years old. Never broken the law for the most part ever. I just don't know if this man is a bad person or if on the person that made a mistake. You know what I mean

@rjr5150rr 8 месяцев назад

Alcoholism is a self diagnosis... I've got a little over 3 years🙏

@donnanorris4733 8 месяцев назад

Best advice - she needs to go to al-anon. I did. We eventually divorced but I learned so much about living with an alcoholic. Setting boundaries, co-dependency. Its tough work but so necessary. Glad I went!

@nancyperrine 6 месяцев назад

If she stays married she will be living a life of always wondering will he drink today ? The trust is gone and she will never truly have peace of mind. Been there done that. Fortunately for me I got out early.

@vanessapanek9959 8 месяцев назад

If he cared about your feelings and he loves you as much as he says that you love him and he loves you he’ll quit

@arfriedman4577 7 месяцев назад

Run and get divorced. Dont let him take any more of your money.

@rachell7318 8 месяцев назад

Sooo men need to be spoken to like a toddler to understand the severity of drinking & driving? *She* is speaking clearly. *He* is choosing to not listen.

@b.r.7079 18 дней назад

MEN DONT LISTEN TO WORDS! THEY RESPOND TO ACTIONS. THIS GUY NEEDS TO REHAB AND CHANGE! THIS IS GOING TO WIND UP IN SEPARATION OR DIVORCE! GOOD LUCK.

@nathanroark3339 8 месяцев назад

I understand you need to be firm and clear about how important the drinking needs to stop but , for a guy who I always hear preaching about how he'd never tell anyone they should divorce the last couple videos I've seemed to watch he's told them to get divorced or threaten divorce to their spouse I just have noticed it

@dontworry1568 19 дней назад

ALL people who get a DUI need to go straight to prison. they were willing to take someone elses life with a stupid decision, go ahead and get them off the street.

@vanessapanek9959 8 месяцев назад

I’m talking about career driven people when they’re younger and they get a job and they’re going to school and they have a career in mind they’ll actually not drink all week and then they’ll drink on the weekend

@vanessapanek9959 8 месяцев назад

You’re being an enabler and your Lingham to endanger everyone else on the road during holidays because he doesn’t know when to call a cab

@barbiesergio7663 8 месяцев назад

My kid's father drives drunk and makes my kids ride with him. I have no idea how he hasn't gotten a DUI. I have no way to prove this in court. They are too afraid to say no to him. It's abusive.

@lifeaccordingtotheo9643 8 месяцев назад

You allow your kids to go with him? You need to call the police and refuse to allow your kids in that vehicle, you could easily lose them. This is not casual! Call the police when he drives off drunk.

@lifeaccordingtotheo9643 8 месяцев назад

Get a legal shield membership, it may be $20-$30 a month no contract. Then all the legal advice you need. Then call the assigned law office and ask them to guide you through this. You will never forgive yourself if you allow this to continue. The next drive could be their last. Get help now.

@melissab3217 8 месяцев назад

My dad used to drive drunk with us in the back. I felt like such an afterthought and feared for my safety around him. I'm sorry you and the kids are dealing with this.

@melissam6037 8 месяцев назад

I was able to get it into my custody agreement that he could not have visitation while drinking. He was furious about it and acted like I was out to get him but whatever. Please try to find help with your custody agreement. Calling the cops on him if he shows up drunk seems like a good idea. Do anything you can to not put your kids on that car.

@nicolemaltese 7 месяцев назад

I want to know is if the husband was drinking and driving before they got married. So many people bypass red flags and expect a person to change once they're married. If the bad habits started before they were married I do not think it is fair to ask somebody to change after marriage.

@Chet_24 8 месяцев назад

My wife used to (probably still doesn't) not like that' i play xbox from 830-1030/11 when everyone sleeps, but after some people we know have had drug and alcohol problems and arrests, she decided it wasnt so bad. I also said ill give up video games when she drops Factbook/social media.

@CarrieCole09 2 месяца назад

I am starting to wonder if I should let myself become The Al-Anon Lady in the comments section. Being anywhere adjacent to disorders that have a 12 Step group (Alcoholics, Overeaters, Gamblers, Narcotics, Debtors, Hoarders, etc. etc) is brutal. It robs everyone of joy and peace. I resisted going to Al-Anon for YEARS because I thought it would be endless whining. I was dead wrong. They don't talk about Strength, Courage, and Hope for no reason. A good group is a room full of gangsters. Usually knitting gangsters, but dayum!

@LindaM1976 3 месяца назад

All alcoholics say they don’t have a problem. This woman is calling worried about her husband and her marriage, not the people he is going to kill eventually.

@vanessapanek9959 8 месяцев назад

What’s less deadly a little zap from a cattle product to tell him not to be drinking and driving or is it more expensive to go to a funeral?

@jdl2180 7 месяцев назад

What are you talking about?

@traceylee8802 8 месяцев назад

The door analogy is brilliant.

@xavier7666 8 месяцев назад

I can’t even do Wim Hof breathing when my kids are in the next room + Yr trying to do it while driving?

@vanessapanek9959 8 месяцев назад

Well, if you love him, you’re only doing it for his own well-being and it doesn’t matter what he says, make him do it anyways be a drill sergeant and learn how to say no

@mwhe3111 8 месяцев назад

So wait...she gave him an or what before the DUI and is still there after the DUI? Then it wasn't an or what.

@jasonnames 7 месяцев назад

Ive never known an alcoholic that could beat it on their own. So do not trust him unless he wants to get help from rehab centers...but even after that...they need constant hand holding. Alcoholics are one of the worst addicts.

@miniDrew4 8 месяцев назад

Gotta upload the call that led to this.

@sarahd9272 8 месяцев назад

The video says it was posted 8 hours ago but I know I watched this video yesterday. Am I experiencing a time glitch in the matrix? Was the video reposted or something? Someone let me know so I can confirm I'm not going crazy

@flashthecorgi2053 8 месяцев назад

I’m assuming you’re new so welcome to the gang (as Dr. Delony would say) Yes, the full episodes come out M, W, F and the highlights of those calls come out twice a day. The reason they do this is because most people don’t watch the full episodes so they watch the highlights of those calls instead. To answer your question YES, you did watch this yesterday and tomorrow will be a brand new show.

@sarahd9272 8 месяцев назад

@@flashthecorgi2053 thank you for responding. I thought maybe I was experiencing something metaphysical lol so I needed to fact check my reality

@calila650 7 месяцев назад

It’s not just alcohol, people are driving high on weed and other substances and yea, weed does affect driving, I’ve seen it first hand. Being stoned and driving is dangerous and you will get a dui. DUI is very expensive!

@vanessapanek9959 8 месяцев назад

Responsible adults will work all week and not have a single drop of alcohol and they’ll wait till the weekend and then they’ll have a drink

@sharonclayburn7884 7 месяцев назад

My husband and father was killed by a drunk driver. My son was 6 months old.

@vanessapanek9959 8 месяцев назад

And she started crying and shaking, and going through shock

@beckykazeks6827 7 месяцев назад

Run!!

@vanessapanek9959 8 месяцев назад

How old are they responsible adults that socially drink will have two drinks and if they’re gonna have more than two drinks, they’ll call a cab or an Uber

@vanessapanek9959 8 месяцев назад

Do you know what a wonderful investment is at the farm store a cattle prod and a refrigerator full of ice cold beer😂

@vanessapanek9959 8 месяцев назад

If he wants the pickle his liver, let him there’s 8 billion people on the planet

@franziskani 8 месяцев назад

13:00 John Delony all getting upset about drunk driving (and rightly so) While ignoring that the Wimhoff breathing exercises should NOT be done during driving. Or operating machinery. He passed out because of that breathing technique (indicating he could also pass out in cold water, so he should never do that alone, and it should be easy to get him out of the water) - he could have killed himself or someone else in that car accident.

@flashthecorgi2053 8 месяцев назад

He’s fully aware. He came to work and have a whole speech at the beginning of the show on why that was a terrible idea. Hence why he called himself a moron!

@vanessapanek9959 8 месяцев назад

That’s responsible adults. Make a plan on how to get home before they have the first drink of alcohol.

@boston312 8 месяцев назад

This record high inflation is causing so many problems within families. All time stress is leading to the breakdown of many families and sadly i think its going to get worse.

@greenAbbot 8 месяцев назад

If you think this inflation is even CLOSE to a record, you need to do some more research. And no, watching Fox doesn’t count as research.

@rmsfootball63 7 месяцев назад

It’s funny how when he talks to a woman, he just tells them to leave. When talking to a man though, it’s all about the marriage commitment

@johnspence5689 2 месяца назад

Literally

@vanessapanek9959 8 месяцев назад

It’s called alcohol and keys don’t mix

@vanessapanek9959 8 месяцев назад

There are multitude ways of finding a sober ride home

@sherryd3299 6 месяцев назад

Why are you telling her to warn her husband yet again about drinking and driving? He's already destroyed their finances and she will have to drive him every where and could lose his job. Just leave already. You've already spent a 20 years warning him over and over.

@porteal8986 8 месяцев назад

be careful where you do wim hoff breathing!

@cameronwitmer 7 месяцев назад

I wish Dr. Laura was here. “And how long did you know he was a drinker?” “Well… we always drank but . . .” “MA’AM!!!!! How long did you know he was a drunk?!” “He’s struggled since before we were married.” “Ok so he’s always been a drunk and you knew that before you married him. So get a divorce or live with the choice you made. Did you make children with a drunk?” “So . . . Right now . . .” “MADAM!!! MADAM!!!!”

@Jeepers1717 8 месяцев назад

You took the vow, stand by it and help your man, he messed up but he needs you more than you know right now.

@vanessapanek9959 8 месяцев назад

Construction worker guys are a little different. They like to go out and work in hot sun come home and have a beer and watch a baseball game.

@kalebd9601 7 месяцев назад

So is he an alcoholic? Something else seems to be going on here.

@thedifferenceincolour7341 5 месяцев назад

I am an alcoholic and am 3 months sober, this dude needs AA

@chandlersBolts 8 месяцев назад

My wife and I both have DUI’s at different phases of our lives. I think some of this suggestion is fair but not all of it. Threats and ultimatums don’t help and will only help force separation. That is only something you say if you are Already ready to leave and you are just trying to justify it. Alcohol is a symptom but not the problem. The core of this behavior is deep self loathing and unhappiness. There are so many reasons this happens. If you threaten to leave it’s like saying “I don’t care about you or your pain, all I care about is me”. There are many different situations and in some cases it could be justified but it’s hard to see someone be so self destructive. if she loves him like she said, now is not the time to bail. Love is often forgiveness even when it’s hard.

@amberm5626 8 месяцев назад

Forgiveness is not allowing. Forgiveness is not enabling. Forgiveness is not staying. Please don't ever try to guilt someone into staying in an environment that is unhealthy for them by using the Forgiveness card.

@chandlersBolts 8 месяцев назад

@@amberm5626 lots of things in a marriage are unhealthy temporarily. We are all always working on our mess. I’ve actually been through this as a person on each side. It didn’t happen overnight. You can be mad and hurt and choose forgiveness all at once. If you bail everytime something “feels” unhealthy then it’s your own avoidance and issues. A true partnership is messy…always. If there is physical abuse? Absolutely leave. But she said he knows he messed up and is starting to work this process and hopefully he finds his pain and heals it. It isn’t guilting them to say what I said. She was looking for help understanding and dealing with the situation and honestly I think he missed the mark on advice in this situation. Compassion doesn’t come with threats. Love is easy when things are good, love is really hard and is a choice in moments like this.

@blueseptember2174 8 месяцев назад

You can only forgive WHEN the behavior is changed or changing.

@amberm5626 8 месяцев назад

@chandlersBolts I was married to an alcoholic for 15 years. He got help to get me to stay. His behavior never changed. I do not hold myself responsible for another's choices. Forgiveness is sometimes forgiving others and forgiving ourselves for thinking we have to stay when another person won't be responsible. I hope if it works for them then it's what they both want and are healthy.

@amberm5626 8 месяцев назад

@@chandlersBolts sometimes separation while both heal is best. My apologies if I misinterpreted you saying now is not the right time to bail as it would imply she doesn't love him.

@sglacf 8 месяцев назад

Why you think that a divorce is a solution for so many different problems?

@donnanorris4733 8 месяцев назад

If you walked in her shoes you would understand. Addiction, Adultry and Abuse all grounds for divorce.

@sglacf 8 месяцев назад

@donnanorris4733 it seams like in all these comments and the show itself have this one perfect solution to family and marriage problems: divorce. I have a great marriage and with your advices my wife would of divorced me long time ago

@The-Oneness11 8 месяцев назад

@@sglacfMy husband had an addiction. He overdosed before I had the chance to divorce him. Sometimes I feel bad for staying because possibly I enabled him.

@sglacf 8 месяцев назад

@@The-Oneness11 he overdosed because of you? (enabling you said)

@elizabethpieters7798 8 месяцев назад

Because it is. When your marriage or partner damage your mental health you go.

@siobhan3472 8 месяцев назад

Why do all the DUI losers never Uber? Don’t make your problem everyone else’s problem. Get your drunk butt in the Uber.

@Shadowwind4 7 месяцев назад

I’ve been drinking and driving for years. I’ve never gotten a dui or wrecked into anybody or anything, except once. I sideswiped my buddies car when I was leaving a house party backing out of the driveway. He was chill about it since we were friends and I still drove home and made it just fine. Skill issue.

@delightschwartz2155 Месяц назад

If this is not sarcasm you've just been lucky.

@jimmymcgill6778 8 месяцев назад

Of course he blames the husband. It's hard to break an addiction. You just have to get him into AA, and support him. It sounds like she just wants to give up on him.

@dking1362 7 месяцев назад

It IS the husband's fault. The man chose to drink. Then he chose to drive. It is HIS responsibility to get into AA or other treatment, not hers. He has to want help. My question, not knowing the length/severity of the addiction, is whether she even should wait for one more crystal clear statement/violation or leave now.

@vsmith6109 7 месяцев назад

Well yeah. My dad always called drinking and driving an unforgivable sin. He would admit to using reefer and a few other drugs when he was younger. He had tattoos and piercings with a love of ICP and eminem when they were very popular. He was an alcoholic before I was born. He said even as an alcoholic... he never drove on the stuff. He lost friends that way. My mom threatened to go back to her parents and never see him again while she was pregnant with me if he ever drank or hit her again. I never seen him drink or have alcohol in the house even as they divorced for different problems when I was 12. Its brave of my mom to set up those boundaries for him to say she would rather be a single mom then have us live with him as he was. Its just even more honorable for him to follow through on sobriety from alcohol to be on a better path of life for his children even when the divorce ended the ultimatum.

@jimmymcgill6778 7 месяцев назад

Most addicts don't know they have a problem.