I AM BORDERLINE (2019) 

Girl omg same. Sorry if it sounded superficial but you're the first person that i can relate to. I'm almost 20, so still 19 ( :)) ) , i have BPD and i was diagnosed with depression, anxiety and had my suicide attempt at 13-14y.o ig, so i have depression for 6-7 years. And like you have bpd and depression too as me And i never seen a comment that said they have these 2 simultaneously And for the first time i didn't felt alone One question Do you have that part from bpd when you feel very good? Cuz of my fkin depression i don't I just have the worst parts from both :)) Sorry if it's too personal and sorry for my mistakes in english.

@@anaseregor4083 I have borderline traits such as psychotic episodes, in which I’m distorted or have trouble viewing the objective reality... Sometimes it feels like an out of body experience idk for you though lol I used to have really highs when I was Manic, like my heartbeat would go abnormally fast and I would have like laughing fits for nothing, I didn’t need sleep and I felt like I was on top of the world... lmao but then I’d get really bad seasonal depression and normal depression to top it off so it would only last some months, I would call it dysphoria when I feel always down and alone and even numb to the pain. They are phases that are similar in bipolar disorder but that are symptoms of a borderline. It’s okay, I’m fine with talking about it!! Thank you for being so kind 💖 Your experience seems very similar to mine, at 13-14 I was at my worse state.. I’m also sorry you had to go through this. Nobody really knows how we suffer in silence. 😢

The worst part is that if you have addressed your mental issues earlier in life maybe you wouldn't have developed bpd... I'm struggling so much with it

I'm 19 too and have already made two suicide attempts and ended up in coma twice. I have PTSD, maladaptive daydreaming, chronic fatigue syndrome, chronic pain, depression. My doctor thinks i also have bipolar 2 but I'm not sure of that. I have a question Do you guys have problems with memory and is your mind always confused. I'm having alot of issues with my memory and remembering. Sometimes I'm convinced that i have bpd and next moment i questions everything about it. I don't remember how i felt yesterday. I mean i know i was depressed but don't remember to what extent. I can tell apart if it's my worst or its better than yesterday. I don't remember emotions and feelings at all. Everytime i go to my hospital and while waiting for my turn, i try to think about how i did this month and every time I'm not sure. It's more than confusion. It's like i have no emotional memory at all. My opinions changes alot. I mean alot and very fast. I'll be dying in pain and still feel like I'm not suffering much or that I'm to some extent overreacting. After i woke up from coma after my second suicide attempt. I felt that i overreacted and i felt that I was that depressed. I felt like i was just sad. Do you guys have any idea whats happening?? My senses are very sensitive. Everything i eat taste same or sweet. Even pepper taste like sweet and just cause burning. I can't listen to songs from past because they make me feel like I'm going through my past traumatic events. My brain attach emotions with smell, noise, texture I'm feeling now and in future these things will trigger anxiety or depressing thoughts. Someone told me that i might have ASD But I'm sure of that.

@@anaseregor4083 same thing bothers me too. Every video or article mentions high moments which i never experience. This always leads to me feeling invalidated and left out. I dont have high moments.

You only need to have 5 out of the 9 symptoms to be diagnosed with BPD.. suicidal thoughts is a symptoms but not everyone with BPD attempts to because there are things holding you from doing it.. like thinking abour your loved ones for exemple.. i hope you will find a way to feel better🙏

Dancing is good for everyone! Keep doing it! ☺️

@@kuroxo1509 u could be covert boderline - they dont self-harm or commit suicide

@@kuroxo1509 I've had BPD tendencies, also, less than criteria when I was a teen, but more in my 30's. I never attempt, but suicidal thoughts remain in the back of my mind. I can relate to you. Almost fully self-isolated, I wonder if diagnosis would matter at almost 50 now.

Please talk to me, give email please e.

We are not villains, we are superheroes! Lol...💪🏻

@@wendysavvy4351 If you abuse people, like the majority of untreated borderlines do, then I'm sorry you are a villain.

@@incisiveshadow5593 some of us are abusive towards others, some of us are abusive towards ourselves. We aren't villains. we aren't angels. it's ironic how you think in such a black and white way. BPD people can be the abusers and also the abused. we grow up walking on eggshells often with family who are also borderline. in a lot of cases the trauma gets passed down generations and you either copy your parents (overt BPD) or choose to never be like them (covert BPD). either way, we can feel angry and hurt at the abuser whilst understanding that they are just as scared, lost and triggered, they didn't get the love they needed growing up. I'm not defending, I'm understanding. you only get villains in films.

Yes

😭

Yes! That's why learning to communicate what we're feeling is SO important for BPD. People can't see inside our heads (I wish they could sometimes), so the only way they can try to understand us is our behaviors and our communication. Often when we feel triggered or have a bad time, our behavior is equally as dramatic as we are feeling. That can lead people to feeling confused as to why we're "acting out." For us at the time, it seems appropriate to how intense the feelings are. The only other way to let people know is to communicate, and for that, we need to understand ourselves as much as we can. My therapist has taught me a lot about "I" statements, and they work great for me. "I feel ____ when you ____ because ____. I would like it if you ______ instead." That's great for conveying what you're feeling, but it also only works if someone can validate your feelings and not minimize them. I wish you all the best, you've got this! We've all got this!

Of course! Absolutely agreed. One that doesn't know the kind of suffering a person with BPD goes through - generally can't understand!

felt alone

If that’s coming from you trust me you still are beautiful

I am a "Young bpd" and I have hard time not even maintaining relationships, but getting there in the first place, every person who's interested in me and I am interested in them, I push them away.. But I have so much love to give, and honestly , below my illness I have a lot of good attributes that people wish for in their partners. My point is, If they love you , your illness will not matter to them and you'll find a way to get through it, good luck finding that person :) Stay strong and don't lose hope!

Yeah, exactly.

No fucking joke mate!!! That is no joke.

@UCjR5kDfvWR_Dk6cH_74BGBw that is such an ignorant and supremely fucked up thing to say. Shame on you. There is no concrete data to back up that every person who has BPD has “damage to their prefrontal Cortex therefore they are damaged and incapable of healthy relationships and reciprocating love appropriately”. From what we know so far is that BPD is a combination of genetics, environment and or trauma. The cause is uncertain, that’s for certain. People who have BPD are not inherently unlovable and incapable of care, empathy, love and deserve just as much respect as every other fucked up person on this planet. There is no “one size fits all” when it comes to anything. You’d be sure to remember that. Sorry that perhaps you had a bad experience with someone who was borderline but PLEASE for the love of god and science. Keep your hate to yourself and before you go spreading “facts” about things you clearly know nothing about maybe you should educate yourself first because guess what??? FACTS DONT CARE ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS Dingusjones. ✌️

❤️ thanks ❤️ same to you!

Yes. I often don't know what i'm feeling, or end up totally numb

Nice!! 👍🏻

I hope u get the help you might need, I'm there for ya...☺️

Yep and they shouldn’t get mad because you preserving your own sanity is the same thing they say they are doing but you shouldn’t 🙄. Sacrifice yourself to keep being understanding of them. No! We all have trauma in one way or another and everyone MUST do their own work. I cut off a few friends. Not that they are cut off don’t deal with them at all but cut off from deep or true friendship. Boundaries matter!

I’m in total despair 😞 now I found out I hope I’ll get better I’m in a shocked state and I’m 43!!

@@freedomfighter9976 I strongly feel I have/am Borderline too...And I'm 45...Did many things other Ppl.might fear, still never felt proud.Also gave up my two oldest kids due to this(Feared not being a good(enough) mum(Thank God they're fine),quit Jobs,schools,always this fear of not being good enough,being fired,not being hired,fail exams,relstionships(Too much of a waste/trouble)Gave up my cat~ they sense things very easily, just like children,& I feared he did'nt like me for some reason..Sometimes I feel like just relaxing at the sofa/coach,but then I feel guilty for doing nothing,I'm not totally black/white though,more like 50 shades of grey...With this fading rainbow in the distance.I highly doubt all ppl.showing symtoms of borderline are narssistic(Almost like claiming everyone with their own RU-vid channel are,or all selfie girls out there for instance.Some may be,others are not.We're just as different as anyone else,unique seems like a strong word,but then again it goes for everyone else out there too.(We're not Jodie Arias either)I wish you all the best.Where I live(Northern Europe)it's so-called free health care,but therapy is very expencive over here.(And hard to get,unless you're very wealthy,as most psyciatrists are private)Hopefully you'll get the therapy,help & answers you might feel you're in need of🤲🏼🦋🌺✌🏼🧁🙏🏼🌫 🌬🌊🌈🌤

How??

@@rebeccajelenawang4306 can be ocd too

@@freedomfighter9976 Thanks for pointing this out.Tried to tell my therapist like 12 yrs ago or so,was diagnosed with AD(H)D with some manic episodes incl.Her very last day at work she asked a phychiatrist to check it out,just for the "sake of it"( scored 10/12 points).Last week I eventually found a new therapist.Hopefully she'll be able to give me some advice on my thinking patterns,she does seem experienced,despite her age(30+something)so..(She's been working with trauma patients/other)WE have to do the job,whatever our issues may be,but having at least one person around who sincerly seems to understand means a lot.(My youngest girl is just like me BTW. Everything from ADD to Asberger(light)has been suggested,but some of these personality disorders tend to have several similarities (not always tho'-some"are"very bipolar/borderline/ADHD/OCD for instance,while others may be more on the spectrum.)We are individuals after all.With a personality disorder maybe,but we are not THE disorder.Thanks for the input, you were right about my OCD,you're most likely right about yourself too.Best wishes🧚‍♀️💫

It made me break down into tears, every single word just so relatable

@@sammiecrompton4365 they spoke the things I can’t speak:(

You are wrong. Its our brain, so its us

We are borderline bc we have our trauma brain

I'm guessing you have narcissistic personality disorder as a co-morbidity too?

@@silentstarlight3322 So you ask me what my problem is, then you go on to admit your abusive behaviour and how you have ruined not only your life but others? That's the problem. Your good side is irrelevant if you do terrible things. Borderlines have complete control over their behaviours, as do narcissists. This is why you do not see them acting out and being too destructive when they can get easily caught e.g. in the work office or out in public.

@@silentstarlight3322 You sound great, and thanks for being there for me! 💕☺️💕

Wish it was that easy.

Amen

You are not alone. I'm here too. ❤️

They will hurt you so bad . And it is confusing. So much love they can give and in a instant they hate you

@@Chrisstarpromo Yes exactly!

Please do. Best thing ever. You will be taught to recognize unhealthy thus saving you from repeating the same experience your next relationship. I’ve done two years so far and I don’t even attract the same people. Boundaries matter. We are not saviors. You want someone who is healthy and can reciprocate love and needs in the relationship. Get your healing and move forward. You’ll see how it plays out and be grateful you fully let the why go prob in the next two years. She’ll take him through it too.

Relatable

Hopefully he does for your child

I gotta try this! Thx ❤️

I make a good analyst out of my *thing*, my empathy is a force, my strategic skills and humble nature are an asset. Embrace it and grow.

Dam so true

🤯🤯🤯 so trueeee. Cycles and it took me a year to figure it out. I felt used and unseen in the supposed friendship. Always her crisis and constant need for validation and encouragement meanwhile never reciprocating🙄🤦‍♀️🙏

Ouch

Yes!!! ❤️

You are loved

This makes me cry ,but trust me ur needed ,wanted and loved ❤️

❤️

You shouldn’t self diagnose

The core problem will be the same but they way they cope with it and act on it is different. I hope this makes sense

Borderlines really do feel guilty in spurts and want to love. They just can’t maintain consistent healthy relationships on the other hand narcissists are diabolical, manipulating people who have NO EMPATHY whatsoever. Their whole being is a fraud. Go check out Dr. Grande or Dr. Romani. They both have comparison videos and I can tell the difference now. I had a narc ex husband and supervisor and a borderline ex friend.