6:25 Near the end of my "situationship" my ex said "You were just a groupie 😂" , denied even dating me. They always do that, call their partners names.
A narcissist is like a human haunted house with a lot of dark secrets that they hide from you. Yep, the house (narc) looks peaceful on the outside but once your get in, it slowly gets worse and worse and you'll be living a nightmare before you know it.
Your bravery in revealing such deeply personal chapters of your life has truly moved me. Escaping the grasp of such a tumultuous relationship is an immense battle, one that undoubtedly etches lasting scars upon the heart. I extend my utmost admiration for the incredible courage you have shown in breaking free and choosing the path of self-love. It's an act of profound strength and self-respect.
Man! That is insanity! I never personally experienced any of that but I grew up around abuse all the time. I always wondered why these women stayed in these abusive relationships. Your explanation helps me understand a bit better. My sister was in an abusive relationship and the guy was physical with her. Broke her ribs one time. I was like, "you have your WHOLE family here to back you up. Why you keep going back?" I never understood it. She lost a ton of weight from the injuries and died about 9 months later. I'm VERY glad you had the understanding to get tf out.
Life gets so much better as we mature, looking back and do learning from our experiences and mistakes. To avoid seeking validation in others is definitely among the most important of lessons one can take. We must be happy with ourselves and our own company first, there is no one else more deserving than our love than we are ourselves.
Goodness. You are a handsome Southern Man. I grew up in the Chalreston area, and later in Georgia. They don't make 'em like we do in the South. Please be safe out here and pray to God to help you make better choices.
The psychological abuse keeps on doing damage in the form of rumination. Therapy and Welbutrin helped me push beyond the pain and angst, but the trick is to not fall back into the same trap. I'm now an old man and have outlived every one of them. Looking back, I can see my part in it, and I'm most thankful for everyone who stepped forward to help guide me out of the darkness and into the light.
I was in a long term relationship with a narcissist and I can relate to many of the things you described. I feel for you and what you went through, I’m not sure if I’m still completely back to who I was. I hope you find love and happiness! ❤ 5:27
I had that kind of relationship really, a selfish person and never said sorry for the things he ever done to me and very prideful but most of all self centered. 😢
WoW I relate to this so much. I was with a Narc for almost 8 years. And tried to get away so many times and he always lured me in with empty promises. I always denied he was a narc bc he never cheated. It wasnt until the end when I broke up with him I found out he was immediately talking to another girl it made me question everything. They are so dramatic and controlling and will go after you if you are empathetic and come from troubled home. Thank you for sharing your story. This can help so many and I'm so happy you were able to leave successfully.
Oh wow...I think you could add paranoid schizophrenic to psychopath and narcissist. I was very moved by your story; thanks for sharing it. I think it was good for you to tell it and good for others to hear. You are an inspiration. Stay strong brother. 😊❤🤗
I was with my narcissist / psychopath for nearly 15 years. I'm glad you were able to move on from it. I've been single for almost 12 years now and have no interest in dating because of the damage that was done.
Sometimes it takes for us to hit rock bottom before we look up and say, “There’s something better out there and THIS isn’t it.” Thank you for standing up and just running away from this guy… you deserve so much better.
WOW! That’s all I can think of. What a total prick…..I am sorry you had to experience that . I have am in a relationship with a guy 10yrs younger than me, and we are together for 16 years….. I just can’t image such a toxic relationship experience. You were very lucky you got the courage to walk… or should I say RUN…. Away from that total prick. Well done u! And Tks for sharing. U come across as a thoroughly decent soul. Wishing u the best from Ireland
Relationships work when individuals have something to give to the relationship. When someone has nothing to give to the relationship, they become abusive in order to keep the relationship.
I am sorry you have been through so much. Abuse can be verbal, hitting, stealing from someone that you are in a relationship with, a lot of different things. Unfortunately a lot of guys do that because they are the ones that are cheating.
Wow, my experience was exactly the same as yours! I learn the same lesson you did from your experience. I ❤ you brother, hang in there. Your life will turn out just fine!
You're such a sensitive person, and sensitive people get hurt. I'm over 30 years older than you, but I recognize my younger self in you. Continue your life lessons, and please continue to share them. Best of all to you.
As a 58 yo Australian gay man I can relate to this, and i'm so glad you are out of that relationship, no-one deserves to be treated like that, especially if this person claims to love you, thanks for telling the story an I hope it helps others to have the courage to leave these bad relationship Mark
I listened carefully to the entire podcast. I was really shocked. 😢 I'm sorry he put you through that. I've never heard of it. Glad you are ok and God continues to bless you, dear.
You are not alone. I just found this channel after being ghosted and discarded after four year's of a relationship. Just up and took off leaving me with a future fake of a mess. Still have his clothes and personal items at the house. Up and walked away. Wow!
Wow, that was a terrifying experience and I’m so sorry you went through that. I’m glad you’re doing better now. Thank you for telling us. This is certainly an important message for anyone in relationships.
His behaviour is known as coercive control, and is absolutely typical. According to the law of England and Wales, section 76 of the Serious Crime Act 2015 (SCA 2015) created the offence of controlling or coercive behaviour in an intimate or family relationship. I don't think there is one law in the US to cover this behaviour but everyone, especially young people, should be aware that it is harmful and criminal. Get away from such a person as soon as you can!!! Coercive control is generally thought of as a man controlling a woman but there must be gay men who like to control. For people outside the relationship, keep an eye out for the controller painting the controlled as mad: 'He / she is absolutely crazy; do you know what s/he did the other day....?' Once or twice in a jovial way is OK, but if it keeps happening without humour, the one being spoken of might need help.
Thank you so much for sharing this with me, I’m not sure if my ex was a narcissist, but he made me feel like everything was my fault, would get angry if I was upset, and threaten to go to extremes. Thank you ❤
Thank you for sharing. I resonate with this so much & I'm so glad people are making their experiences known because we're not alone, although they isolate you to make you feel that way.
You are describing my ex to a T! Oh the crying thing ! He would be so mean right before we went into public and if I cried he'd belittle me and say I was trying to get sympathy from strangers......it's been a long time but listening to you brings it all back! Narcissists are evil
That was beyond Dylan. It started off and the more you said I was like this is unreal. I can tell you the physical was next. He wanted to see how far he could push you. Dylan I am so glad you got out of that situation. You had to build your life back up after that. I am sorry you lived it, experienced it and endured that. You keep doing you and doing your videos. Someone out there needed to hear this to Dylan. They will get the strength to leave a bad situation.
I hated being called a slut too...they think they're being cute or funny when they say it. He made jokes about my looks like he was joking, but I was still hurt and had to think about it, so i took it serious. I felt confused, like i was losing my mind. They like to play with you. I should have known from the beginning when he cheated on me and told me about it. I took him back and he knew he could do whatever with my mind.
Oh, he beat me up twice, finally, he got arrested or drug use. While he was in jail, I filed for a restrictive order from the judge, and I got away from him, and he within two months move to Los Angeles, California.
My friend, its a good thing that there are people like worthless metal. But others are like diamonds and gold!...and you are like this group! ..and you will find someone like you! You have a sweet and loving heart.❤ hugs, Mike.
Dylan, I'm so sorry you had to endure this from this man! The one doing all the accusing is the one who's doing it! If he's accusing You have cheating haste of uncheating!
Had it happen to me except I was older, 28, world traveled from the Marines and some College. With all this, it slowly got so controlling that I was embarrassed that it happened to me. I feared for my life when we finally broke up. It can happen to anyone. Sorry dude.
Omg mate how proud u should b for doing this and im not even 1 minute into the video i just know becox it resonates alot with me so far😁 well done you 👊🏼👊🏼👊🏼👊🏼👊🏼👊🏼😊 sending u love from the UK xxx
You are the sweetest most gentle soul Dylan. I'm sensitive too and this video wrecked me. How I escaped that horror is only by the grace of God. I can only imagine. I love your videos buddy. You truly inspire me.❤
100% true! They try so hard to get you to move in together for total control. And yes, in their mind they do own you. I also met the boyfriend of my dreams. Almost four year's of lovebomb, constant attention seeking, emotional abuse and finally physical. Still researching this disorder and finding channels like you. Goodluck everyone!
Very sorry this happened to you. That guy sounds bat sh!t crazy. Sounds like you have had some hard knocks. You are helping others by sharing your story. I enjoy your videos.
I am having flashbacks. I finally left one to later end up with another. I had to do a lot of self work and value myself. Happy you are in a better situation.
Thank god ❤you got away from him- he needs psychiatric help - he mirrored his issues onto you - narcissistic self hating personalities are the worst kind of people- you are a victor
Sorry you had to go through all that. No one should have to live like that. Glad you distanced your self when you did, who knows what could have happened if you had stayed.
Damn, you went through the experience you had with your family, and then THIS? Okay, is that going to be part of the book? If that's the case, just remember, I'm still here to help you with the screenplay for the movie, which will most definitely NOT be a Hallmark Channel movie. And seriously, glad you've been able to move on, you seem to be an adorable kid, both inside and out. I gave you a virtual hug on another video, I'm giving you another one with this video. Hope you're good with that.
@@dylangabriel13 , you're more than welcome and then some. I can relate to some of what you've been through, as I grew up in a small, rural town in northern Arkansas, where "religion" was king. But I dated women most of my life (never longer than about six months), even though I pretty much knew I preferred guys. The last woman I dated was 15 years ago (she'd been the first in over 10 years), and I've never dated a guy. I've only occasionally hooked up with a seemingly completely hetero friend or a friend of one of those friends. I have a son (close to your age) and he's never asked about me and my "preferences", though I've told myself for years if he ever did, I'd tell him the truth. It's just that he hasn't asked, though I think he probably has a pretty good idea, and pretty much doesn't care. I'd go on a bit further, but I really should've stopped a few sentences ago. That's what happens when I get into the evening wine. Maybe I'll pick it up from there with your next video. 😉
@@dylangabriel13Hi well i have experienced that kind of relation ship and strangely he was and is the men i loved the most until today, but well i have a strong essence and i never let him get over me, i went crazy over him sometimes i broke up some times also, after 1 day he get back at me like a dog, so stay strong and when you are not strong enough leave ! Which i did after 1 year of ups and downs because the king was after 1 year not sure enough of my love for him, that's one of the thing that makes me left but i also have had the feeling that he was trying to make me end that relation because he was lost and confused about his sexuality and the funny fact was that he was the one who push the relation till the place we end it, sad
Just by watching your videos tells me you are too sweet of a person to have had to go through something like that. I am so sorry you had to go through it. I'm glad you got away from him. A guy would be lucky to have you. Stay you.
…you were much like me: you go in it for love and they treat you like a PRETTY-BOY POSSESSION/TOKEN to be admired for HIS own use. Anything that you do is KNOCKED DOWN so that you do not build ANY kind of security for yourself!
The thing people nag on the most is the thing they are most likely to do. Best advice I got, was to have a fight with the person your dating before you commit to a relationship, see HOW they fight. The relationship is the best it will ever be before you commit, while your dating.
Hi bro, I feel for you because I know what a person like that can do to you. I have the same experience. It’s hard and it’s difficult to leave. Love you, think about you and wish you all the best. ❤️ Lex
I can relate to your situation on multiple levels.. The mean suspicious behavior, the wardrobe control .Your situation was my literally identical to my life when I was 24. In my case He claimed he dumped me yet I am the one who fled not only the house but the whole state in the middle of the night in fear of him with just a suitcase 23 years later I still have zero contact with him thankfully. I never wish such a relationship on anyone . Stay strong. Better days are ahead for you.
I’m glad to know that part of your life is over. No one should have to live with being abused at any level. I hope now that you know your life is important and you do not have to tolerate this type of behavior even for one day. I’ve listened to a few of your videos today starting with your coming out video. You have been dealing with abuse ever since your early teens, if not longer, starting with your family. I’m beginning to ask myself is it possible a person could be conditioned to accept this type of behavior starting with the mother or father. I’m not a professional to actually know an answer to that question. A lot of bad things had happened to you over your lifetime. I hope that the day comes when you let everyone you become involved with, that you will only accept to be treated with love, honesty and respect. This includes friends, lovers and family. Otherwise, walk away or be told to walk away. By the way, I love your accent. I thinks it’s cute. My next video of yours to watch.
I'm so sorry that you were in a toxic relationship I'm glad that you are not with this man anymore it takes courage to leave my mother was in a toxic relationship with my father who is a drug addict and a constant cheater it took my mother years to realize that my father would never change his ways she's now cut all contact with him
I went through the same thing. Living with someone like that almost destroyed me. I was young a naive. These days though, if anyone tries any of that stuff with me, they get a major verbal smack down and they never see me again. No second chances. I made a friend recently who was all sweet and generous, but he started to try and manipulate and monopolise my time so I started to keep my distance but stayed friendly… until we went out with another friend one night and he accused me of betraying him by getting too friendly with the other friend… I think he was into me and the other guy and he couldn’t handle that we were laughing and having fun and he wasn’t the centre of attention for a few minutes…. Never mind that he was married and there was nothing actually happening, even if it was he doesn’t own us… it was bizarre paranoid possessive behaviour. He ranted at both of us. I gave him a dressing down like he’s never had before because he was being nasty and viscous and talking crap about the other guy who didn’t deserve it. I’m a big guy so he couldn’t do anything but stand there gaping at someone who would not accept his BS. I heard that he bitched and told lies about me after. He has tried to contact me and wants me to just forget about it and be friends again, like he did nothing wrong. I know enough these days to completely cut these people from my life. Not worth the aggravation.
omg! your story has 100% similarities to stories you hear in straight relationships. Your vulnerability played in his narcissistic control. Because he was weak he wanted someone that was weak too to control. I hope you are a lot better. ❤
i’m a 50 year old gay british indian guy, never been in a relationship with a guy, my narcissism and gaslighting came from my parents. I still find it hard to trust people, that’s why i am in my own.
Dear Dylan : being able to understand what another person's psychological make up and to recognize red flags is a major step towards self happiness. I had the handicap of having my Mother be a victimized narcisstist. Fortunately a job opportunity in Texas allowed me to runaway for 28 years. That is a cynical overview but true nonetheless. A very true lesson l learned in my self-healing journey is that people will tell youthe truth about themselves within the first 72 hours or less of knowing them, you just have to listen and uderstand the red flags they charmingly present. Then if they are emotional trouble : go in the opposite direction. Never stop improving yourself because the better you are, the better people will gravitate to you.
I as well in the same situation as you , bud my male love twice my age , yes understand what you are saying I found out he was one that was loyal to our relationship, Iam so happy I moved away from him
Firstly, I’m truly sorry you were tormented like that. Secondly, I’m sure by now you’re aware you were in a relationship with a ‘Covert Narcissist’. That type of narcissist is the MOST dangerous kind (in my opinion)!! Covert Narcissist’s ammo is “Mental Warfare.” Due to them being cowards by nature, they’ll break items and make extremely terrifying verbal threats (even against themselves) but, they rarely become physically abusive. They’re truly afraid of getting that a$$ beaten… trust me!!!! 😏 Their “Narcissistic Rage” is real but, when you stand your ground and remain firm against their abuse, they’ll continue raging without ever laying a hand on you. Covert Narcissists knows the mental AND physical ailments their behaviors produces on their intended targets. They’ll simply try a different mind game to try to break your spirit….starting with convincing others (secretly behind your back) that you’re the horrible person in the relationship. This technique is known as “The Smear Campaign.” This may be hard for you to believe but, destroying you was his intentions the moment he first laid eyes on you. He view your kind nature as a weakness (which, it’s NOT) to exploit. He saw your nice smile and warm personality, then sought to take those qualities away from you. From the beginning, his “kindness” was a façade. You met the REAL him once you moved in with him!!! Again… I’m sorry you experienced that cruelty. You didn’t deserve that!
Caught the divorse vid, and in just 2 months... tanner and hotter - not sure what you're changing, but old cut from SNL - _"You look marvelous!"_ === not gonna say his name? - you mean Colton - he who should not be named... go on with this strange story - you doxed him long ago === Now touching on the important parts... when you're young and everyone around has expectations but you're not fullfilling your ROLE in SOCIETY - let's make it honest, off to groped the neighbors dad - well we groped eachother - these things happen, and either one of us could end it - just WANTED - no contracts, no denial, no one else was involved, in fact his wife pretented she was blind should this happen? Well it did. I never fealt violated nor forced... sure later in my teens I fell in LOVE with a girl, and didn't have the ballz to tell her I like guys too way tooooo much - but I LOVE YOU. Nah, couldn't say that. Meaning do I blame this now dead man who lived nextdoor, had kids I played with _(non-sexual - just running through the streets tpgether)_ Yeah, I blamed him for deviating me, when honestly ALWAYS found dudes DESIRABLE... from WAY too early an age. It wasn't about the GUY, it was the STUPID SOCIETY we live in. Not advocating diddling kidz, quite the opposit, as now I'm feeling SNUGZ are the best LOVE - just well that happened, and I blamed him for my issues rather that dealing with societal pressure to CONFORM - not me, I'm not who you want me to BE. It hurt long ago, it hurt so much to love and keep a secret - doesn't help I wanted to get all over her older brother - YOU CAN'T TELL A late TEENAGE girlfriend something like that - also her step-dad.... yeah, I was so horny Reading back just some... I came from Alabama with a Banjo on my knee - nope, came from NY, but then grew up in FL so.... yeah it's a mess Express your feelings which ARE SHARED shouldn't be a crime. - wow this stuff you're talking about now - the CONTROL issues - I've never experienced that, as I'm WAY too pushy - you married COlton? Seriously, I'd kick his to the curb in an instant. Got a more brother than coupled, and he'd NEVA get away with that shit - neither could I - he'd set me straight, well not that straight, but... I don't push things like that and why would I - I love the dude. === How often does one of two people take a strong position? not often, and it's giving in to just let it go and play along, but it's so rare - not like he joined a coven of witches or WAS SUCKED INTO THE Jesus juice of some crazy Evangelical crowd - he just picked out a style of lamp which I think is ugly - I really don't care, so... _you WIN?_ I really don't care about the ugly lamp - yeah, our sqabbles dont' amount to much - we agree, and when we don't - whoever CARES the most gets his way - it rarely comes to that My guy isn't a control freek, so he's rational and kind unlike Colton
Yes, love bombing. Cults do that-some people are like this in any type of relationship, they flip on you. You learned from this. To anyone else watching this video, please take it to heart. GET OUT of that situation. Especially if he or she says 'oh you know I don't mean it, I'm sorry, I won't do it again". Until the next time when it does. Get out please!!
