'I don't give a Shi* you got that?' Narcissistic mother responds to criticism 

Streisand effect in a way

​@@carrieeloff2220so true!

Yes, it's fantastic isn't it! She's done a great job, ironically! :)

Yes, well said ❤

@@carrieeloff2220yes!! She set out to subtly put her daughter on blast and ended up getting a face-full of the truth! Now that I know how RU-vid and internet savvy Mom really is, she knew people would be able to find Daughter’s socials.

Thank you.. You said in one sentence what I always thought and couldn't express myself. persons with happy childhoods would never distance themselves from their family, so there must be a reason! A very painful reason, I cannot even look at pictures with my mother, or hear her voice. Last time I saw her she criticized me that I was cold and stiff when she hugged me.. She stated that with a very whiny voice, rolling her eyes, because I'm so bad that even my body isn't doing the right thing in her eyes.. To be honest I didn't even realize until she told me that my body was frozen when she hugged me.. Well, she never had the idea that maybe, just maybe that I did that unconsciously as a response to her abusive behaviour... You can't reason to these people.

Exactly. You summed up perfectly what is at the core of so many situations where children do not want to be around their parent(s).

Narcissists will never do it, they only go into shame rage spirals

Oh man, if only the people who needed this advice the most could accept it

So well said!

Love the terme, is it from you? :)

Agreed!

@@Lili-ib2rh yes ☺️

I used to call them "social vampires," but I like your term a lot better!

Yes, it’s very fitting. 👍🏽

and an audience...so she wants RU-vid to fill the hole

💯💯💯💯

I think that it VERY true.... It resonates I'm me.

And now her only way of getting supply from her daughter is indirectly. She's triangulating her social media world against her daughter and using their relationship and her daughters pain to MAKE MONEY as well as gain fuel ... she utterly disgusts me. She should be put in jail.

Enraged. That’s the perfect way to describe her. I get a very “how dare you” vibe from her. Cringy.

Yes - I had to look away from the screen so that image doesn't remain in my memory.

I have to skip through it. I see my ex through her face and expressions.

yup, pure, unadulterated contempt

Her smile is so unsettling. I can almost feel her rage simmering just below the surface.

The music she choose almost makes the video seem like parody. It’s so hilariously tragic. This video was healing for me because I went through issues with my mom, but she owned it and attended therapy with me. This woman’s video helped me realize what an unhealthy response looks like.

I would have been fine if the daughter "ghosted" her--- permissible ghosting (or whatever you want to call it). When it comes to really toxic people, I don't see how giving an explanation for 'no contact' would help. In fact, it could make the situation worse.

That’s a logical progression of events. A logical consequence. She just doesn’t like what that consequence is, and refuses to believe that someone could say no to her.

Her daughter sent a letter and that was an "outburst." This daughter was clearly never allowed to have feelings. Later, the estranged mother lists all the ways she cannot control the daughter, which makes her angry. It's baffling to me that she doesn't see what's going on.

Exactly ! When she said that I thought about that too. False statement, the daughter explained it pretty well in an email.

@@lr9559 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

@@lr9559yes!! That’s why I do call them out. Even though it makes me look crazy. There was a time when nobody said anything when husbands beat their wives. The tides are changing for this type of non-physical abuse and I’m so glad.

But it depends on why you're calling them out. If it's so that they will suddenly change their personalities, I agree with you.

@@LiveAbuseFree It definitely can validate others who are experiencing abuse from the narcissist to call them out.

Your response to narcissists enables their narcissism. Call them out. Ignore them. Some people were born simply to be an example to others.

Yes, but you can undo much of that damage.

I think the "mother" is a malignant narcissist. The mother lacks empathy for her daughter and will tear her daughter apart because as a mom she lacks the courage to admit her flaws. She must be the victim to cover up the actions and words she has used to wound and demean her daughter. Trust me she is a narcissist. I for one don't give a sheet about her drama filled video. She should leave her daughter alone and quit trying to frame herself as a wounded martyr. Lady, leave your daughter alone.

I'm 68 years old. I went no contact with my mother for 20 years before she died about five years ago. I've had decades of recovery therapy and still, every day is a struggle because of her abuse. I repressed so many childhood memories. Now that I'm retired and have lot of time to reflect back on my early years, the realization of the depth of her abuse becomes more profound. Yes, a narcissist mother can destroy a child's life.

Yup. I'm having more tormenting difficulties healing from the narcissism than outright assault - which is why I call it demonic, evil... It's bit by bit... It'll take YEARS/DECADES... chipping away at a soul until there's nothing left... I'm still in shock and pray I can find peace....

My dad, instead. He's pathetic. He's the thorn in my life. I am no-contact with him!

It says it all in a nutshell!

Seems such a childish and pointless thing to do. Unless somehow it actually makes her feel better…then I think she’s just in love with herself (self absorbed). And her child probably never had a fulfilling bond with her. It’s a one-way street with anavel-gazer like this child-woman

@@chantallennox1201 Just to play Devil's advocate, I now buy myself something on Mothers' Day because my adult son (we have a good relationship) is autistic and never ever remembers stuff like this. My mum used to remind him, but she has now passed away. My son doesn't usually remember my birthday either, but somehow being forgotten on Mothers' Day feels worse. I went through several years of feeling incredibly hurt by being forgotten on this day, so I now just treat myself to some chocolates or a bottle of wine. It's good to be kind to yourself if others will always forget to. Edit: typo 2nd Edit: I realise this isn't the same as buying myself a present on my son's birthday (which I don't do) but just thought I'd put a different perspective out there. If, for example, he was no longer around for any reason (god forbid), I would probably want to do something nice for myself/mark the day because it was an important day for me as well..

​@@letsrock1729 Sorry to hear about your mom. You've definitely earned something on Mother's Day. Sounds like you've done a great job with your son as you've got a good relationship. She sounds like something else completely.

@@Bakeroo Appreciate that, thanks. Oh yes, it's a whole other thing with this woman. I was just saying (long-windedly 😊) that I don't think buying herself a present on her absent daughter's birthday is anything too weird/suspect on its own. It's when you put it together with everything else that it becomes problematic.

What an actress 😊 someone nominate her for a RU-vid Oscar plz

Yes! The grandiosity showing

Yes. She felt A LOT of pleasure receiving that much attention! A lot! When she talked about it, she was blinking.

Oh, yes! Her twinkling eyes almost triggered me.

Yes and her eyes are dead and empty behind the surface. God help her soul.

She doesn't want a daughter, she wants a puppet to show off what an amazing mother she is. A friend of mine grew up this way and cut contact decades ago.

Oh my god, you managed to articulate exactly what I was feeling watching her! Thank you!

If the daughter's social media is the one that I think it is, then I suspect there's an element of envy here, too. The daughter is young and beautiful, and shows that through cosplay... and image-conscious Diane, with the way she would position herself in old family photos and videos, as well as being very conscious of her angles in these recent videos (what the hell is with those walking-away-butt-shots she spliced into them?), is envious and contemptuous, and resents losing control over the daughter she sees as an extension of her otherwise fading youth and beauty. I can, unfortunately, imagine some ways that someone like Diane might control the life of, and live vicariously through, what they perceive to be a younger version of themselves. When she can't control her daughter, I expect her to view her daughter as competition.

Well said…hope the daughter is ok

Yes!

Two things about this woman stand out to me based on the videos: 1) She has always been considered physically beautiful regardless of her age. 2) She has always been financially affluent with access to exceptional monetary resources. People with those traits more easily develop narcissism. This woman probably thinks she's prettier than her daughter, and her daughter is jealous of that 'fact.'

Yup!! She’s not even my mom and I want to go no contact. Hugs to her daughter. I really hope (but doubt) she’s watching these videos (Zoey’s) so she can see the how much love and support she has.

@@danepatterson8107omg I hadn’t thought of that but I think you might be right on!

Her daughter made the right choice for sure!

😅😅😅

YES!!! This is THE most telling thing that “outs” her as having a “difficult”, *pathological* personality! I see NO desire in the mother to consider anything and everything that SHE could do *differently* in order to STOP being a source of pain for her daughter.

Narcissists never change

@@jeanieolahful They never do, but this lady in particular is in too deep. Her responses to comments that call her out on her poor behavior, or show sympathy/empathy for her daughter are insane. She really thinks she’s helping others by making these videos, but she’s really just showing how unwilling she is to look inward and see that she’s the problem. On top of that her dad was abusive, and the same way her daughter distanced herself from her, she did to her dad, so this is a generational thing, and I hope the daughter is doing her part to break the generational curse.

This is a "you vs me" kind of mentality. She is "at war" with her daughter (in her mind) and she wants to win. "Win her over". "Win over her".

I believe when she said _arm chairs psychologists_ at 1:50 of her video, I had heard enough.

Good wording.

That's EXACTLY what I thought! That sinister smile of "...very bad news".. it's how to stay remote emotionally...

& still doesn't prevent her from failing to reflect on what might actually repair that connection but rather appears to just reinforce her sense of entitlement

😅😅😅 damn that comment is straight to the point!!

Her comments section was disturbing, full of parents who believe that this "visceral connection" entitles them to their children's attention and love. Thats the only reason they mention it.

The "connection" is really *ownership,* it's disgusting.

Exactly. It’s called enmeshment as well…and a narcissist will always seek to have a connection with someone whom they once sucked the life energy from. The fact that she’s made an entire channel about her daughter’s choice to go “no contact” and found a way to weaponize the decision of other children who have done the same only further demonstrates the amount of “narcissistic supply” she had been stealing from her daughter, replacing it now with the attention and at times adoration/agreement of other such “victim” parents. Truly sickening how deep the denial goes with individuals like this. The fact that her partner is in cahoots with her ridiculous explanation only emboldens her own lack of insight. She is sadly a lost cause, I’m afraid.

I cut my parents off 4 years ago, 3 years ago a birdie told me dad had 2 -18 months to live. He's still alive. I was tempted, and it made it harder thinking he was dying, but now I'm pretty sure that was just manipulation. Having been through it, I don't think I care when he dies. I have a feeling you won't either. You have done well for you and your kids. I have 2 young kids and turn 49 tomorrow. Not having my family in my life has been good for our mental health and safety. You did the right thing.

@@Craterface666 Thank you, and I truly believe you made the right decision as well. I bet you are quite correct about the manipulation in your situation. My dad had been dying of a "heart condition" as long as I can remember; although that "heart condition" never stopped him from drinking and drugging like a crazy man, LOL! You are right in keeping your mental health, and the mental health of your family, safe by your decisions.

@Max-od7fb : me too!

Im a 42 year old conservative. I commented on her video because I can recognize narcissistic behavior regardless of my age or politics. This women does not HEAR her daughter. She probably never will. Its sad. What an ignorant comment to assume that all of us are young, entitled children if we dont agree with her. She has no self awareness at all.

I was also a negative responder 😂😂 I think she blocked me 🤓. I completely connect with your comment in every way ❤

Queue dramatic violin music and crocodile tears

This is what I always say. This is why people who are like "look at me. I don't care" obviously care, because why would they feel the need to brag about it if they didn't?

Oh yeah that part. It really irritated me the way she was so obviously contemptuous about that and still found it somewhere in herself to protest about “judgements.”

Sounds exactly like my mother. I have thought my entire life “if you hate me so much - why do you want me around? Just leave me be”…

All about control not love

Yeah she seems to hate her daughter

I mean….she straight up named her daughter. She’s an absolute witch.

Well said, Dame. I recall my forty-year-old brother whining about a nosebleed he had had (at age eight) in front of my father who was hospitalized with advanced Parkinson's, partial blindness, and terminal cancer.

That last part is excruciatingly correct :(

@@bristolcorvid8894just say you disagree.

I've made peace with the fact that mine will never look inward and take me seriously. I imagine after she passes, she'll be able to understand in the afterlife.

I agree. It’s reassuring because we realize it’s not us even though for years (decades sometimes) we blame ourselves 😢.

Well, she was right about one thing. She did have a "bond"----a demonic bond.

Truth! My NM pretends I could not bond as a baby to her. I’d be dead!

Absolutely.

​@@erikavaleriesthat's interesting because mine has the biggest resentment at me as a baby too. 😣

Exactly! She’s the one breaking the bond, the trust!

I had to turn away from the video otherwise that smiling just got in the way of hearing what she said.

It's creepy

I have seen that fixed, permanent, fake smile in some narcissistic women in real life and in a psychopath interview on RU-vid.

All of these narcs have the same crazy eyes and creepy smiles.

When she says, “I don’t give a 💩, got that?” the mask slips. Look at her eyes in those few seconds. I think of her daughter as a little kid trying to deal with that.

They ALWAYS do that. I'm convinced it's impossible for them not to project. Whatever they accuse someone of, it's almost certain they do it themselves.

You know! 💯 At first, I felt empathy for her partial "misunderstanding" of estrangement. Then as she kept doing videos, I was so disgusted and triggered, I had to block her channel.

That happened to me. I went no contact at thirty. At 60 she developed dementia. I went to see her. Her fangs had disappeared. The fight was gone. She did seem like a stranger but I did get a glimpse of what she could have been like. Not once in my life could she say a kind word or let an opportunity to criticize pass. Dementia took that away. It was weird but kind of bittersweet. She was a lot like this mother. Always had that big crocodile grin. Always had to be perfect, admired by all. In control. But the smallest criticism unleashed a fury.

That's really tragic, for both of you!

I feel sad and happy for you at the same time. Sending you hugs.

Thank you all. I really try to enjoy the relationship that have now, although it must be limited for my own sanity. She told me once during her 40s that she had gone to therapy and was diagnosed bpd. She refused help and was the worst she could be to me after that. Her current version is the version I imagine she'd be if she'd gotten help. It's why whenever I hear of someone with bpd I encourage them to seek help. If she had done therapy 40 years ago she could have been more like this with better relationships and she'd be aware enough to enjoy it.

Im so glad to hear your experience because I'm currently having the same with my mother. My mum was the most cruel, critical, neglectful , abuse woman to her kids. She also played each adult child against the other. Dementia set in and very very quickly affected a part of her that changed her so drastically. She can on some days be so funny, loving and even caring. She was none of those before. I enjoy it kind of yet I know this is no longer my mother but more like the mum I wished ld had. But still lm on alert around her waiting for her to any minute be abusive again. Its very weird. Why couldn't she have been like this all her life. But at the same time she's often not really in her mind anymore too. She's off with the fairies. But I sometimes can get a cuddle with her now. Which I couldn't before. She's so different. She's in aged care now andi for the first time in my life as a 64year lady feel I'm free from having to explain my life and answer to her too. I'm free at last. She's been so contrll9ng and manipulative and abusive. So it's so good to feel free at last. Yet I feel sad at the same time.

That is a really uncharitable thing to say about people who've been thoroughly psychologically destroyed by someone like this.

And she's moved onto the worldwide web for sympathy supply... Anything other than suppley- she DGAS...

Cindy Watts even requested - and received I’m pretty sure, some financial portion of the insurance death payouts for Shanan and the two little girls Plus she blames Shanan - she thinks her son was the victim

​​@@tennysonparks2059 do better research, shd blamed Sha'nan for that monsters behavior. Their are videos of her smirking and a nasty look on her face, like someone farted, when she talks about Sha'nan, the mother of her grandkids.

@@tennysonparks2059 are you fucking kidding me? That monster is in jail for a good reason, you are blaming the victim but if you don't like Shannon at least be empathetic with the kids that can't defend themselves from that awful monster

That is a deeply troubling proclamation. Shameless.

narcissists tend to not like having their bs pointed out - not diagnosing obviously 🤪

The attention however is very welcome

@@thewostr positive or negative, narcissistic supply is narcissistic supply - hence why grey rock's so valuable 😉

This is exactly why I didn't write an explanatory note to my parents when going no-contact.

And threatening, like when she leans towards the camera with those staring eyes and bared teeth "got that?" I bet she did this to her daughter from when she was a small child.

Many of us don’t have to imagine, unfortunately.

The way she had to shame even the cosplay hobby 🙄🙄 Like there was the option to just not air her opinions about that, but she went out of her way to draw ridicule to her own daughter in order to paint her in a negative light in general, to make her own pov seem more legitimate, more adult, more reasonable than that of her daughter

That’s exactly what I thought too.

Don't have to imagine it. Just have to remember it

YES

Narcissitic supply

@@luana2778 💯

exactly.

She would rather be “right”. Her shallow sense of self can’t be wrong in any way!

Signs for a narc (from various narcs) I've experienced over the years: -"You're being very disrespectful" -"It's my birthday month/week! Oh yeah! Time to celebrate!" -"I named my pet/kid after myself, isn't that great?! :)" -"I think I have a rash, can you look at it? .....Huh? Why do you look grossed out?" -hey buddy, pal, can you do me a favor and ask your friend to go on a date with me? ......What?! Of course we are friends, buddy. What...? Why are you saying we barely talk and you "don't know me like that". We talk to you ALL the time! We are best friends! :)" -"omg, guess what babe! Guess what! I just bought a new couch! Yay~! Isn't that great?! :) Oh yeah! Oh yeah! ....... What...how did I buy it? Well, I used your card baby....what do you mean we can't afford it and I have to take it back.....I bought it for US!"

💯

Literally like the delusion!! never know if my mom is a schizophrenic or just a ragging narcissist

And a bully. She needs to be the boss of her daughter 🤦🏻‍♀️

And trying to make money off the situation!

Some of us ARE licensed therapists. We see through her, too 🙄

Reminds me of a certain actress interview after she lost her defamation trial: "Some randos", she had said.

​@@psmithbellI've studied manipulation and body language, because I was too gaslighted as a kid to trust my guts. So, I learned their behavior to see people like my Mom coming. I might not be licensed, but i could totally detect people like her feom Miles away.

yeh i spotted that. in combination with heart on the sleeve style, and also ''highly curated''. This is her victim narrative. She clings to it hard. like a shield. No risk of self-examination. no no no

That's so good to know! Thank you for sharing that. 🥰

@@LiveAbuseFree and it's reaching far! I'm from Brazil ☺️❤️

@@LiveAbuseFree 100%. I started watching your channel during the JD/AH trial, during which I had a massive falling out with my (now former) best friend of 20 years. Your insights really helped to pull me through it and continue to help me to recognize negative behaviours in others and myself. You have really helped to ground me! Thank you!

I like that you mention seeing the toxic behavior in yourself, being able to see that is HUGE. ❤

Right?! Between her, a couple other people on RU-vid (Dr Honda and Dr Berry) and my therapist, I’m SO much healthier. It’s been really nice to finally be healing. Feels so good.

The way she said, “…you GOT that!!!????” after saying she didn’t give a schnitzel. If I found out my kids experienced me in a harmful way, I’d hope I’d introflect (is that a word?) and move forward in some kind of healing way, depending upon what the harm was & where “we’re at” currently.

People who smile while they talk, are the worst.

I also find it difficult to watch her. Her body language and delivery style are, as you say, smug and self-righteous. I would love to know if she has many friends; I could imagine all kinds of people being put off by her.

@@lbh4113 Beautifully said 👏

It’s the same reason I can’t watch my ex. When they talk, their self obsession is overwhelming. They love how they talk, how they look when they talk, and they act like a celebrity. (Especially when they know people are watching.). They get livid when they don’t get the response they want, and STILL don’t get it. Most never do. (I absolutely agree. She gives a lot of 💩 s.)

agree about everything but the guilt. i get why people might want to humanise those who have such harmful mindsets but imo doing so is enabling to the point of potentially being dangerous when people presume others have the capacity of experiencing guilt, they implicitly expect there are limits which wouldn't be crossed & could therefore end up not learning that isn't true until it's too late it's important to remember there are plenty of people who unalived others much to the surprise of everyone who knew them - parents, significant others, children, complete strangers & others! guilt is absolutely *not* something *all* feel & even if it doesn't go to the extreme of unaliving someone, there's *plenty* of harm that can be inflicted upon others in its absence

@@r_and_aNarcissists absolutely feel guilt and shame. You’re talking about sociopaths. Different species.

Yeah, she's absolutely loving all this attention and the views of her public domain "this is nothing to do with you, stop watching " channel 😊

@@Lunchladydoyle note i did *not* lump *any* group of individuals together, only cautioned as a *general* principle & there are *plenty* of people with antisocial personality disorder (aspd is what *you* are talking about as *neither* "sociopath" *nor* "psychopath" are actual diagnoses - though those who are referred to as sociopaths - ie formed more from "nurture" than "nature" - are *far* more likely to feel guilt & shame than psychopaths) who have comorbid narcissistic personality disorder & do *not* feel shame please do *not* presume what i do & do not understand or that you know more than i do, especially when you're not even responding to what i *actually* wrote as *nothing* you said addresses let alone conflicts with what i wrote. whilst *i* did *not* originally bring up any specific diagnoses or *who* might have what, do you *really* think you can definitively say the mother does *not* have aspd? why do you think so many are shocked when certain people unalive others? aspd can be well hidden, hence the point of my comment there are *definitely* extreme differences but they are *not* a "different species" & that is one of the reasons they're so dangerous so reinforcing the false notion that one could immediately spot them is quite harmful, unappreciated, unnecessary & frankly arrogant imo

​@@Lunchladydoyle Narcissists reflect their shame and guilt on others and psychopaths are also narcissists.

They kept appearing in my feed. I had to block her channel. 😤

10:11 - also the smoke coming from the oven when she opened it just prior- just my odd way of seeing things, but perfect visual puncuation marks imo.

Yes - very good observations.

Those pillows are just for appearances, can't plump them or make them comfy to sit on.. must karate chop them so the corners are perfect! lol

🤣😂🤣

I'm sorry that happened to you 😢. My parents are also only abusive behind closed doors. From the outside everything looks perfect.

❤

@@caroleminke6116 yes we called my father the street saint and the home sinner

Just like my father

Oh yes, I can absolutely picture her self-satisfied smile as she says the most hurtful & damaging things!

It's almost as if she expects applause for every subpar thought she forces through her clenched smile

They stay so calm in arguments. The more upset the targets get, the calmer and happier they get.

I imagine that she even CLOSES her eyes as she smirks and delivers an arsenal of put downs!! 😩

Yes! You’re not the first one to say that! It’s the smirk and flashes of anger and the dripping condescension especially in her reaction IDGAS video!!!

It's probably the first time u have come across a narcissist. They truly are a different breed

Acting ain't never that good, Diana is the real deal.

I briefly had a "friend" just like this woman, fake smile and dripping condescension. I bet she rages at her husband on a regular basis.

Yeah, she makes me extremely uncomfortable. I genuinely can't look when her clips are playing...I just listen while reading comments to distract myself from how much my brain clearly doesn't want to be around her, even in this capacity. (And she can't blame my visceral discomfort on her reminding me of someone else in my life, or trauma caused by my own mom, because my mom doesn't act like that, thankfully. No one in my life has exactly what Diane has. It's something in Cluster B if I had to guess, but I'm not invested in a particular diagnosis.)

@danswhite8544hence the separation between mom and child. It’s sad the mom is close minded. I feel for the daughter. 🙏

My husband sent your video to my mom, after my mom, whom I’ve done all the things as Hailey, claims to not know why I don’t want a relationship with her. My mom’s message said “we figured out what’s wrong with Bz; when she was searching for missing ppl, she must have gotten in with a group that brain washed her.” It was absurd; implying there MUST be a reason for my behavior. My mom will never look at herself and ask the hard questions. Denial is a very long river.

I also left a well mannered and compassionate response letting her know that forgiveness can happen but it may never if she keeps publicly shaming her daughter. I never looked back to she if she responded because I knew she would just be a pompous ass. Guess my instinct was correct. Oh well, you tried to help her !!

Their kids are their employees, and the job is endless validation forever… never good enough, either.

I bet the ppl who watch her are atrocious.

Yes, her contemptuous, belittling dismissal of commenters was the Big Tell. Her spirit animal is Anger/Contempt and it's on loudspeaker now.

@@gtaylor6937and naturally, by her first video that was analyzed, she likes all that drive-thru quickie “spirituality” that emphasizes forgiveness and “letting go” of anger. Imagining how she must weaponize all of that fluffy-bunny language just leaves me cold.

Oh, she knows

And she never will.

​@@NickM_FirstofHisNameShe just absolutely does not care.

Notice how she very subtly showcases her sexuality as well in some of her edits. I can just about guarantee that she acted flirtatious with her daughters boyfriends and male associates, just enough to make them feel uncomfortable without really knowing why. And probably went out of her way to embarrass her daughter to them with stories from her childhood. Since being in a late in life relationship with a narcissist I have been studying them like insects under a microscope.

She has always been considered physically beautiful regardless of her age; she has always had access to exceptional monetary resources. Narcissism develops early and deep in people with those 'gifts.' She has a fan base; she's obviously quite intelligent.

​@@danepatterson8107My experience with Narcissist is similar. They are VERY intelligent. They manipulate people often with out even realizing it. Its just who they are. Leaving one of them can be like leaving a cult. For me I had to disentangle what was truth versus their version of reality. These people are extremely charming and convincing. Im actually proud of this womens daughter for recognizing what TRUTH os and for separating herself from what was, unfortunately, a toxic relationship.

@@Elysian777 I did not notice this, if you can would you mind showing an example? I also study narcissists and I am surprised I missed this in her

​@@Elysian777Great comment!

“ you are peeling the trauma distortions off of my brain with every comment on her behavior” Wow - This is a GREAT comment!

She charges members 200 dollars a year. She’s predatory

@@tennysonparks2059They get into groups and talk about stalking their children and they give each other ideas on how to harass their kids to get them to “stop being so selfish/cruel”

And they're so delusional they willingly pay a con woman to speak with other awful parents.

​@@tennysonparks2059 they give each other tips on revenge. They give tips in groups on how to do things like get their grandchildren taken away from their EACs. Then with all the group think, I noticed they talk some newly estranged parents who are on the fence and tell them it's not their fault at all, the EAC is abusive, etc. You'd have to see how dangerous it gets. Super toxic cesspool!

She cares because she's pushed her own kid away being the awful human/mother she is. I doubt she's ever felt a connection with her child.

Yes, 100% 😔.

That really sucks, but I can relate. Sometimes an apology like that feels like it's more about the other person's shame and regret, and not so much about what you needed, or what you need from her now. And it can feel like it's in the same vein as the original abuse, because both times, it was also about them. Maybe it's one positive step for them on the road to become a better person, but for us, it might just be another intense and upsetting experience. Anyway, I hope you get to have actual healing one of these days, in whatever form that takes.

My mom did the same. We have a good relationship now. But we had a toxic one for years, then none at all for years after that. The dammage is done and its on me to deal with. But I love her today and who she is now, in my mind, is not the person she was then. It didnt heal me but I think it would be worse and more frustrating....if she was like the women in this video: not sorry for anything or anyone but herself.

My mum used to creep into my bedroom to say sorry after she beat me up. She'd end up crying and beg for forgiveness while telling me it was my fault for making her angry with me. Even as a small child, I thought, if you're so sorry why do you keep doing it?

My mom has not apologized and never will, and I don’t think that it would change anything if she did. So, the healing doesn’t come waiting for an apology, it comes when you realize that now you have to raise yourself, and that you can do much better than your mother ever did. Sorry wouldn’t cut it, there would have to be a fundamental change in personality…which is near impossible. A true apology would be in the actions of the parent. When I was doing good it was my moms doing. When I was doing poorly it was my own fault. She took my accomplishments in childhood away from me in that way. As an adult, my internal confidence is completely broken, but IVE put in the work to be better and to do better, and that’s more empowering than any “sorry” we could ever receive.

My mom did that too and then I just got more annoyed because she said she thinks she's bipolar when she doesn't even really know what bipolar is and she probably has a personality disorder and she let me be the scapegoat so I got a psychology degree and she said she doesn't believe in psychology

She has lost friends and family over this. She shockingly admitted that in her video.

I advise the daughter to change her first name if she hasn't already done so. I did this and it helped me to free myself.

She said in her main video that some people had walked away from her life but her attitude toward that was 'so what, they didn't deserve me anyway'. Zero introspection.

@@Elysian777 I don't have the stomach to view any of her own videos so thanks for that. It would be an absolute certainty that some friends walk away after seeing who she really is.

​@@sallywillis1448yes in my 40th year i changed my name to all new people in my life, my best friend supported me and has never mentioned my birth name since, my husband of 26 years calls me darling, i do not expect people I've known pre40 to remember but most naturally already spoke to me in nicknames . Offically goverment/ medical/ drivers licence is my legal name..now a decade on i feel i have become my chosen name, diligently chopping away narc tenctiles of behaviour my mother blueprinted on me , i agree changing my name has helped define myself, my beliefs, my boundries , cleared the toxic mud so clearly i found the Lord!! Bless you my fellow soul retriever.

1,000%! got so frustrated when people would compliment my parenting by presuming my parents taught me well 🙄 would literally reply, "yup, taught me what *not* to do!" it was hard to cut off my mom partly as feared my kid might think that was "normal" & do the same to me but thankfully, like you, i was able to learn from my parents instead of repeating their patterns congratulations & thanks for sharing 💚

💗💗💗

raising my 3 daughters I always did the opposite of what I thought my mom would do, it did help me make better decisions with my girls.

🙌

​@@lr9559pointed out beautifully. Thank you

I found that very telling too. “Scanned” and only read snippets of the book. She literally doesn’t want to learn, or read anything that doesn’t sit well with her, let alone educate herself sufficiently to perhaps make changes for herself and her relationship with her daughter. Shame.

Sounds like a great beginning. I'd definitely follow up wkth some sort of therapy on your side though to dig deeper, also for own good.

Proud of you for that !! That took guts. Way to go !!

That's a very good start❤

That's because you are not a narcissist. They never accept any responsibility.

❤ Good for you. So proud of your for you shiny steel spine and boundaries. You have nothing to be embarrassed about, she does ❤

It’s never too late and you did good. I hope it has brought you some peace of mind and a return to a more pleasant life.

If we’re doing it right, we’re always growing. I admire you. Courage mixed with wisdom is the most powerful combination of all ✌️

I wish you luck and only the best! I am also 60 and suffered through 2 miserable narc parents. Sometimes I feel one lifetime of therapy is not enough to get rid of the pain. I feel for you.

Not your shame either but we've all carried that crap lol ❤

She's not likeable, that creepy smile when she's saying things that shouldn't make her smile or happy but, it sure does.

"They refuse to move on from grand speeches to practical support" ....I can relate to this so much. I hope your sisters final years/months are filled with love and loyalty

People try to discredit us by saying we aren’t psychologists.. well, psychologists don’t diagnose NPD enough, it’s more prevalent than they are willing to (sometimes) admit. I knew my step mother in-law was something abnormal, I felt sick in her presence. Years later, I figured out what she has always been… a narcissist, per HG Tudor.

literally one of the worst ways a human brain can be which is terrifying. they have no self-awareness so they'll never seek therapy to legitimately get help, only to use it as a weapon in some way. just a miserable, horrifying existence (not making excuses for them)

Narcissists never grasp self awareness because they are perfect or always the victim. That is a key sign of narcissism btw, other than the constant "me, me, me". Another is they may name pets or kids after themselves or celebrate their "birthday month" (having 3 birthday parties).

my father is the same ...manipulative...no remorse ...a total void

Completely agree, they always seem to lack self awareness but think they are the most self aware people on the planet. Probably because they can only empathise with themselves, they must confuse that with self reflection

Wouldn't you agree that they are _a bunch of randos_ ?

WELL put!!! Every word!