I got tricked into sleeping with someone 

😂

Casual hookups no good?

I have noticed that a lot of your love interests look like Anna with a backwards baseball hat and mustache. On the positive side , money not spent on extra cast members can be used for wardrobe.

@@Emppu_T. If you swim with the sharks, make sure you have the appetite of a whale.

🤣🤣🤣

So unsafe

Also for men

@@lachainone yeah, cause men usually get physically harassed by the people they are dating *irony off*

technically the situation didn't get any unsafe, it was just dangerous from the start

If someone is a bit unusual it doesn't make the dangerous ffs you bunch of snowflakes

I see this all the time. Men usually manipulate to get what they want. That's the one time I agree with women. (Yes, you're terrible)

Love this comment. You're awesome. You're so well spoken. Would love to work with you on a future project I'm looking for well spoken speakers to help me create some content/customer service/type from home opportunities. near future though, not now :) I'll message you in the future. Have a good day.

and i think you'd like representing it because it is in alignment with 1 of your securities/observations from your 2nd sentence. "Manipulated rather than respected." and 2nd, im confident to make it viral once we do it. anyways i wanna stop talking about it and get back to work on other things that will lead up to the day ill message ya again, but then ill be hiring and paying haha so it'll be more beneficial for you to pay money for your time x_X peaceeee.

Moving to CA from somewhere else to find her is a BIG red flag.

@@DreamsMeet Creepy #2...

Damn I never thought about that hella true.. no wonder our love programming is fked lol

Yeah but....in his case it worked. He saw her in a movie, did all this stuff to get close to her, to get her to notice him, and then he slept with her. I've never like seen an actress in a movie, fly out to a convention she's at, and then somehow get her to even hang out with me. I could never swing that. That's bonkers. This dude MANIFESTED. He also delusional as hell

I knew it but I didn't want her to know so she will stay easy to manipulate so she could run back to the films and watch another ROMCOM and be brainwashed by it next time this happens to her. Yeah I thought it was creepy when Edward Cullen just broke into Belle's room and was just glaring at her intensely. And we all know about Romeo breaking into Juliet's room at night while she was in her gown.

😭😭😭😭😭😭

True pretty sure she has at least 2 videos on how creepy asian fetishes are aka yellow fever.

he would've had to actually listen to the videos instead of just staring at the paused screen unblinking

​@@jclyntoledo The thing is... he probably remembered those videos and realized she might realize sooner or later that all of his exes are Asian and tried to "but I'm not like those other guys" in the worst possible way.

Exactly! He should have said "I'm a racist" at least that way Anna would know that he's honest

Only dating Asian women…ugh. That kind of fetish is racist. Because of pressure from my Jewish mother, I tried to date only Jewish women…who tended to be petite and brunette. My wife is half Japanese…and is now 100% Jewish (after converting…and she is a better Jew than I will ever be). My mother loved her…absolutely adored her.

My face is literally like this right now : =O and the mouth isn't big enough here to stress the "what the..?!?!" feeling I had reading you up there. Jeeeeez.

Hunh? This is not someone you know now, is it?

When you think you already heard the dumbest thing a guy can say to a woman.....

"still Asian enough" Wowwwwww

@@michaelrmurphy2734 Believe it or not, he and I used to be friends. We don't talk anymore, though. He kept making comments like that and playing them off as jokes when I'd respond negatively and eventually I stopped talking to him.

This is why hookups and flings are a bad idea. You never know what they could be hiding from you.

Come on. This is hardly stalking.

@@childofk4993 Right. Not stalking. This some CIA level activity.

Pfft… If he had just toned it down a notch this would be the plot to a romantic comedy, lol.

@@childofk4993 Actually, this sounds very much like stalking!

always a victim ya? hahaha no accountability

@@estebanslavidastic4382people who say this are usually the ones who always blame others 🥱

That's called being tricked? The terms she was setting was already compromised before she even knew Like, one consents to intercourse because baseline they don't think the other is a stalker That consent would never be given. Consent is when both parties know the full terms they're agreeing to When the other reveals secrets that would have swayed the initial permission, that's worse than just trickery.

@@Katriella. That's like saying "I was tricked into sleeping with someone. I gave consent then found out later they were right wing/a cat person etc" The person was a complete creep but she wasn't tricked imo. It wasn't like he pretended to be another person and faked a life to make her fall for him. He was himself then honest about his inappropriate and completely creepy behaviour.

​@@DrBeardface23he literally did tho? He pretended to be a normal waged staff member who happened to run into her, a woman he had never met. In reality he was someone there, volunteering to work for free, for the express purpose of hunting a woman he had an obsession for and had tracked down every publicly available detail about. Almost everything she "knew" about him was a lie from beginning to end. The person she was sleeping with was a completely different person from who she thought she was sleeping with.

No she is not dumb, but she damn sure was not tricked. She willingly slept with him. She just didn't know he was a fkn weirdo.

@@drp1bb856 technically you're right. She indeed can be a bit more accountable for her own actions. But that dude is a fkn lunatic.

@@drp1bb856 Yes that is a lunatic and if you don't see it then it's likely because you're a creep too

@@drp1bb856 She did decide to sleep with him, but that's it. She even said the guy has moved to LA and is contuning to bother her, he is stalking her and you are trying to say it is her fault? Wow, talk about victim blaming.

@@drp1bb856 Let me get this right: since you wouldn't sleep with a stranger right after a breakup, everyone who does is displaying "degenerate behavior", but somehow sleeping with that person knowing it is a one-night stand is not "doing anything wrong"? And if the guy lies by saying he was fine with a one-night stand when in fact he was actually looking for romance and had manipulated a whole situation in order to get close to her during a time he knew she was vulnerable so he could get into her pants and make her fall in love with him, after she explicitly said she wasn't looking for romance, that's cool and 100% honest? If that's not what you're saying, you really should work on your communication skills, because it sounds a lot like that's what you're saying.

Gotham...!

yeah, i thought she got tricked like they got wasted and had some kind of one night stand that she didnt really want to but she committed to but naw; he went Borat + keyser soze

That's because the title is inaccurate.

@@madhatten00 Ye same

@@ireallyreallyhategoogle exactly

A BIG dog. Bernese are intimidatingly large, but super chill.

Great comment. And as far as the romanticism. I’m not singling out Disney, but I will use them as an example of how we grew up with this. Aladdin stalked Jasmine. Ariel stalked Eric. And they had happy endings. We saw it from the stalkers POV and no one was complaining or terrified then.

Did you not see the dog in the bed? Where is Congress The Brave?! A farm? I'm on three acres up the country. Will that do?!

This is weird. I had the exact same thought as you. Confusion

Yeah, sadly a lot of media has given us a warped view of what is romantic. There are a lot of "romantic" movies that are extremely unrealistic, and would be extremely creepy if they happened in real life. As a guy, I know that those movies have affected my way of thinking. The whole, pursue a woman and perform antics to get her attention thing is in my head. Thankfully, it isn't really acted upon, but the influence is there. I don't really know how to go about romancing someone that I'm interested in. I wasn't really taught about it, so I just do the best that I can. I try to be cognizant of a woman's potential concerns. Meeting in public, trying to leave a safe path out, and keeping the lines of communication open. Until I started watching videos like this and learned other things women deal with I was quite ignorant. The thought of harming a woman for rejecting me is one of the last things on my mind. I'm more likely to withdraw and heal than do anything to someone. That said, I also can see how someone as obsessed as the guy mentioned here could be dangerous. I am aware of how that mindset can come about, and that such people can be extremely dangerous. I hope that Anna, and other ladies in similar situations stay safe. I am grateful to Anna and other ladies for sharing their experiences. It is really informative. We need more open conversations about these and other relationship adjacent subjects. Many people have largely been left with media being their only teacher when it comes to romance. Which really doesn't work.

He lied to her about his intentions. That’s what she was tricked about. If he had been honest and upfront about his intentions, she would not have been in bed with him. He’s a one man Truman Show level of deception. I’m not sure how you missed that detail.

@@zemoxian She stated her situation, and he stated his. Incompatible, they broke it off. In terms of men dating women, deception and illusion exists, even in terms of creating initial impressions.

​@@zemoxian "He lied to her about his intentions. That’s what she was tricked about. [...] I'm not sure how you missed that detail." I'm on the fence about this because she mentioned emotionally connecting which isn't what you do when being purely physical with someone.

@@linstein5903 You do realize that it’s experiences like these that make women feel safer with bears than men, right?

@@zemoxian experiences can be traumatic but comparing us to bears is a little derogatory.

I didn't get it either. She wanted sex and that's what she got. But then she got more than she bargained for. If she had known he wasn't a casual and safe choice she wouldn't have slept with him in the first place. Thus she was tricked. I guess? I still think "Guy tried to trick me into a relationship" would've been a more accurate title. And more entertaining.

You don’t think that offering to work for free and fly to a different country just to work at the same place as your celebrity crush isn’t creepy? Well, congrats, because you thinking that way is ALSO CREEPY!

@@victoriajenkins1424 well congrats cause it seems like you can't read

The guy fumbled hard and gave her the ick.

I agree that tricked is probably the wrong word, but it is a scary experience because she was pretty much stalked. She was probably tricked in that he lied about not knowing her when he had a huge crush on her, and he also 'tricked' her by hiding how creepy he is. But this is what 'I don't want anything emotional, I just want physical' means - you don't get to know a person enough before getting physical. Of course everyone hides their negative qualities!

D😉ck pics are alsome

Scary! She does not deserve this. No woman does, actually.

Ur not that beautiful and no one is stalking you

I'm just scared he'll get angry and aggressive... it's not uncommon for creeps who get called out to double/triple down and get more and more desperate to "prove their love". hopefully shes only sharing this WELLLL after the fact and the guy has stopped a long time ago already so that wont happen

Or he'll change his tactics to "try and win her back," when she never fell for him in the first place. Even if he tried this with an actual ex-GF, he'd need to stop after the first, "No," and not caring to do that will keep him wreathed in red flags. I hope her friends and friendly neighborhood grocers/servers know the face of her Stalker and can shore up defenses. I know I want to, for her and myself and my friends who have been through similar enough.

did Anna offer hints? I thought her strategy was to "get out alive" by feigning interest as hard as possible.

@@AbbyTayu yeah, when he first confessed that he was a stalker. in that moment she has to pretend she's not upset because she's worried he might kill her. Once she's out of that situation alive she can tell him the truth: that she doesn't want to be with him, get a restraining order, tell the world the story here, and hopefully move on. We have fight, flight, freeze, or friend. I have had to use the friend one myself to get away from someone sexually assaulting me. Who then immediately lied about it when I told someone. Who then laughed at us and talked about us being bf/gf. you do what you have to, to survive.

Yes, I agree you should either go full deception or full honesty. I think hinting is a bad idea, which is why I'm skeptical that Anna offered hints. If you are alone with your predator and think he may be aggressive, offering hints of your disinterest may trigger him. If you later decide to reveal the truth from the safety of your home, it's best to be as direct as possible; giving hints may make him think there is still room for you to change your mind. Sorry to hear about your story. It sounds like a scary experience. I was surprised by the behavior of the "someone" you told. Was this a friend? An adult? I expect most people would treat an earnest report of sexual assault seriously. We do need to think critically about why a person might respond that way though. Perhaps they also felt intimidated by the predator and took his side to maximize their own safety. Or perhaps the "someone" was a child or someone who didn't know how to handle the situation, so they pretended it wasn't real, as an easy way out. Sorry if this wasn't a discussion you were looking for, and sorry if it looks like I'm making excuses for everyone besides you. I offer these discussions because I think it's valuable to consider why people don't react the way we want them to, so that we are less surprised when it happens and so that we can think of other strategies to get what we want.

Well, he gave false pretenses. And in a pretty clear and planned manner. I'd say that was manipulative and should count as tricking someone.

The trick was manipulating events to appear organic and natural. It's like when a closeup magician asks you to "pick a card, any card", in reality, they've already chosen your card for you. It's a matter of making you pick the card without realizing it.

Thank you! I was looking for this comment! I agree the title is misleading. More like she was tricked in getting close to someone and choosing on her own to sleep with him rather than her being tricked just so he could sleep with her. Still, what that guy did was wrong.

@@marcioa1811 I am curious. What _would_ count as tricking someone then? Aside from litereally switching out the person.

@@Alresu I can't say what Marcio means, but to actually "trick" someone to sleep with you would probably not be easy. The best I can think is if you're offered sex with Brad Pitt, but it turns out that it was a celebrity lookalike. Or if a man thought he was having sex with a woman, but it turned out to be a transgender.

I know right! How does "This man took advantage of me sluttily offering myself" turn into "This man wants to kill me?"

Only the most voted. If you sort by new, there's a ton of guys laughing at how silly the whole situation is. She wanted to sleep with a coworker, and she did. End of story.

Women have 0 accountability

The guy was fine until he fumbled and gave her the ick.

She wanted to sleep with him because she had saw a desirable image a strong handsome guy who turned out to be different than what was imagined.

What?! She slept with guy on her own. She wasn’t tricked.

What’s horrifying? That she voluntarily slept with someone who put himself in a position to meet her because he found her attractive? Maybe she needs to make better life choices.

@@drp1bb856 ok victim blamer.

@@drp1bb856 I find it disturbing that people keep downplaying this. He manipulated her into sex and emotional intimacy by withholding information he knew would come off as creepy and by telling her he was okay with a short-term fling when he wasn't. That's not okay. It's creepy and trashy behavior. It doesn't matter if she chose to sleep with him or not. She communicated and made her intentions clear. He lied for his own personal gain. Let's not blame the victim here.

@@supremeoverlorde2109 Anna is not a victim. she was attracted to this guy and decided to enjoy casual sex with him. at first they agreed to only have a casual sex fling; however he did not keep his end of the bargain, and we must fault him for that. obviously the guy was emotionally immature, probably younger than Anna, and does not know how to behave around women. let's hope he learned his lesson to leave a woman alone when she does not his company.

Literally the start of a horror film.. 😬😰😰

@@thehungrycatherpilla6427 Starring Anna Akana!

Yeah I was surprised too! Cause it was actually the other way around!

I assume learning she met this person not by chance but thanks to him "calculating" his path to get her interest is disingenuous and manipulate to her, therefore, she "got tricked" into having a relationship with him.

@@Alexandra-uk4vr Im not sure i understand what's wrong with this. Are we supposed to let our whole life determined by luck or what ?

@@Marc-gj9vx You let your whole life be determined by whatever you prefer bro ✨️ I too am trying to understand & explain what she found wrong with it.

The guy did questionable things, but then she was also the one making sexual advances on him and then backpedaled on it when she realized he was different from her expectations as well that she didn't really know the guy.

She also chose to make sexual advances with the guy she didn't know well and then came out surprised when he didn't match her image of what she imagined of him initially in her mind.

Super vulnerable. And also that stalker can read all these comments and find himself both validated and also as something scary. Hopefully these comments, along with therapy, can help him.

what a simp haha

Really… I came. I saw. I conquered. Is precisely what this dude she let get between her legs did with her multiple times over. I certainly don’t have the chutzpah, obsession and tenacity to go that hard for anyone that I’m infatuated with but he sure did and succeeded too. So on some level I have to give him his flowers while he’s alive on this one.

@@endershepard7117 as long as you appreciate an obsessed fuckboy.

That order is f**ked up. Normally the intimate part comes after the gonna fall for me part, or I'm just old...

Some of these men end up killing the woman 🤷‍♀️

Interesting, I thought she was saying "tricked" ironically but I can see your interpretation too!

The guy also fumbled hard by first treating her like a therapist and then followed that by sharing far too much weird information.

@@Truthseeker77-up2ks He was being honest, but honest men need to learn that women don't like handling all of The Truth. I think that's why women lie about a lot of things so much that it's almost a language, lifestyle, and culture. I swear to goodness, I'm not trying to fight, but you get turned off by Truth in general and you love flatteries and anything that helps...phase away unflattering Truths. I don't mind going more in depth if you ever want to, in a respectful manner.

This deserves a John Wick "Consequences" meme.

A literal stalker

No. He put himself in a position to meet her. He didn’t attack her, she voluntarily slept with him. She wasn’t tricked. She’s trying to blame him for her desperate attempt to avoid real life.

@@drp1bb856 She WAS tricked though. He made it seem like a chance encounter, but it wasn't. He tracked her down beforehand. Had he opened with "hi, I'm a big fan, I'm actually working for free here in hopes of meeting you" she would not have slept with him. Plus, disregarding that she didn't want anything serious and admitting to only dating asian women are two more red flegs on top. You do not start relationships by stalking and then forcing yourself into someone's work life.

@@drp1bb856 wat? u serious?

@@omolisa3783 ignore this guy. He clearly sees himself in this situation and has been trolling the comment section. It's almost like he's obsessed with Anna himself.

Except people like me who go to art galleries...!

Now we have the code.

Note: Said hat cannot be a fedora or else your chances of success plummet exponentially

Omg so what?! "The game" says that in order for girls to be attracted to guys the guys have to pretend to not want them or not even care about them. Here you have a guy who went out of his way to try to meet her and instead of being grateful and flattered she's pissed off because he didn't play according to the rules of "the game." She needs to knock off that "no woman wants a man who would have them" mentality.

​@@tedmccarronYikes.... this is an abhorrent perspective

@@liquidweird6055 her perspective is definitely abhorrent!

Recover from what? He didn’t have involuntary sex with her. This dude went after what he wants like he’s Bruce Wayne/Batman or something and honestly. It’s damn impressive!

Moral of the story don't make sexual advances with random people you don't know

I am also a believer in that rule. Although, always be perceptive. They may not expose themselves that early. I have known people who have dated creeps for well over a year before they finally saw them for what they really werez

yes

Ikr

and especially by thinking it was a good idea to treat her like a therapist and then tell her every detail about his weird behavior.

It blows my mind that people that come to terms with stuff like have to decide to keep the behavior up until bad outcomes happen or get professional help. It's in their hand to act on it, baffling to think that's someone's experience. I've seen troubled people with personality disorders that do interviews for awareness and they aren't prisoners or anything, just formaly diagnosed and sharing information. Being in their shoes sounds scary to me because I'm nervous to admit my fear, or my weaknesses, or my limitations. I can't imagine an arsonist, or pedophile, or cleptomaniac signing up for an appointment and asking someone for help. *Bizarre!*

You’re totally right - he actually even knows it’s creepy and just keeps going

Exactly

I'm glad someone else feels this way.

He tricked her by taking the hat off. Weren't you paying attention.

@@mshaman86 hahahahahahha

Truth

Okay but hear me out... What did he actually do other than decide he really liked her and that she would like him then turn out to be right?

Yes, it is a horrible tragedy that she slept with a guy that was really into her.

@@funnyfuckerfranco basically tracked her down based off her online persona...

@@funnyfuckerfranco he could have opened with 'hi, im a big fan, and i only took this job because i was hoping to get to know you' like, yeah, thats a problem.

@@funnyfuckerfranco he pushed himself into her professional life and built a relationship with her predicated on a lie, she says it very clearly

Yeah, it sounded like she picked him out because she liked how he looked and that he just lucked out, not like he actively pressured her into anything.

@@carolbetzy since when is "actively pressuring" part of tricking someone into doing something? tricking someone means misleading them. he presented a false image from the start by concealing the fact that he was a "fan" and had moved to LA and volunteered to work for free for the express purpose of getting in contact with her. He also may have lied about what he wanted from the relationship and concealed his dating history, but the "trick" here is pretending that he wasn't a stalker.

@@shivin6997 What is a stalker? Where's the difference to a fan? I could frame the entire story in a way, stating the same facts, that would make him look like an entirely different person. Anna presents him from her lens of being weirded out by him, therefore he's presented as a weirdo. Doesn't mean he actually was. There's an argument to be made, e.g. that she stated to him that she was 'emotionally unavailable' and then, next sentence, states that they got 'emotionally close'. So which was it? Was she unavailable or did she get close? Or did she lie about not being emotionally available? Or maybe there's some ambivalency in the situation and it wasn't as clear cut as her narrative frame makes it out to be?

@@Ehuatl There’s always an argument to be made, even when it’s not worth making. You can frame anything in any way, that doesn’t change what happened. If you do what this man did, you are a stalker.

@@shivin6997 A stalker is, by the Oxford Dictionary "a person who harasses or persecutes someone with unwanted and obsessive attention." The fact is, that Anna Akana did actually enter into a physical relationship with him willingly. Arguably, she wasn't harassed or persecuted. (Why would she enter into that, if she would have been?) He was a fan and she wouldn't have had sex with him, if she knew. She felt weirded out by him coming out as a fan after she slept with him. Totally okay to feel creeped out in that situation and to withdraw previously given consent. I don't think that he was under an obligation to disclose that, tho - if it was that important to her, she should have mentioned it when she made her point about being emotionally unavaibale. I mean, they had a talk about what she was looking for and what not, yet she didn't mention that. Framing something differently indeed doesn't change what happened. Him having been a 'stalker' is not just a mere happening, though. It's a value judgement. And value judgements very much change with framing.

Spot on

Who approached the man

Then don't have sex with that kind of men. Problem solved.

The thing is if he had told her all of this when they first met, she wouldn't have wanted anything to do with him. Yes, it's creepy whether or not they slept together, but she could've spared herself this experience if the guy had told her of his creepy actions before they got involved. That's how I understood it

@@Hisxzeh I get that, but I'm sure there are a lot of factors that would turn you off someone that you might not know before the first hookup. Like, do you need to tell someone your entire social background, political views, romantic past and intentions before its okay to sleep with them? The guy was manipulative, she found out and ended it. Its like saying you tricked someone into talking to yoz by saying Hi to them.

Why one shouldn't hook up with whoever

Exactly

Correction correction: She wanted to have sex with him and initiated that. Yeah, it turns out that he had some motives in being there, but she chose to initiate this and then decided she was tricked. If she hadn't decided that she had been tricked he wouldn't be a creep. See how that works.

@@Argonnosi Why would he confess all that stuff to her in the first place?

@@Argonnosi interesting point

@@russellmania5349 yea she could have made that part up about him confessing we dont know how honest anna is being about this rumor she told us

Interesting, I thought she was saying "tricked" ironically but I can see your interpretation too!

She was "tricked" but also decided to make moves and sexual advances with a guy she didn't know.

aaaaah...... no...... that approach would have bin creepy no matter what dude... I agree in some situations the outcome decide creepiness but this is faaaar over the line.

depends whether or not they knew each other before hand. They didn't.

Nope. This guy was a total creeper.

I kind of agree with you.

I think it is that she slept with him, completely unaware that he was basically stalking her. This was not a random chance meeting that lead to flirting and then later sex. This was a predetermined plan on the man's part! That is why I think she refers to it as being tricked.

@@netwolfe She willingly went along with.. Stop always blaming men

She wanted sex, made moves and advances on him, and then realized he didn't match her expectations and that she didn't really know the guy either.

No she doesn't, she should be flattered that he liked her enough to go to those lengths to try to meet her.

She was just attracted to the image of him and not the actual guy. After he fumbled by treating her like a therapist, and then followed that with sharing every detail about his weird and unhinged behavior, it killed the attraction and gave her the ick.

Exactly

i can't believe you are victim balming her!

@@Thought.Strings Say it with me now “accountability”

The accountability part of this is that she left the situation as safely as possible. So she did a great job

@@Thought.Strings Agreed

Hope that is sarcasm

@@birdysayhi Did I Stutter?

Yea, I didn’t quite get the ‘trick’ either

She's hooking up with guys like that?

Thank you! I was looking for this comment! I agree, if you want to meet the person you need to put yourself where that person is/goes.

That's a little different, although I'd say thats something desperate guys would do.

Nobody goes on the internet to ask for a creepy stalker, GERALD

The guy was questionable, but she had also made moves and sexual advances on a guy she didn't really know.