I HATE My Body! 

Aw. Thanks Yvonne 🥰

Glad to hear that 🙂❤️

Hi @soniczforever5470 Ive seen a few of your comments on a few of Sarahs video's and couldnt help but feel the need to reach out and maybe offer some support ... Im sorry to hear you are suffering so much with your body and food. Id like to ask how old you are and what country you are from? as some of my recommendations could depend on where your from and what your have access to... Also id like to ask if you dont mind ( based on one of your other comments from you Ive seen) ; what medicine was it the medical professional wanted you to take that you supposedly deemed could (possibly?) 'ruin your life'? And what was the specific reason you needed to gain some weight for taking it ( other than the obvious that you are under weight ?)❤️

@soniczforever5470 /2 But anyway my thoughts for now as 'universal' as possible; From what you write you obv. Have anorexia right now ( I saw in one of your other comments you said you had struggled with binge eating and have some binges now from time to time but binging when severely restricting and very under weight is more reactional and 'primal' binges that the body and brain needs and craved to survive basically and ' forces' you to do to make you survive - its a survival response... and if anything ( unless you actively want to die... Likely from malnourishment, you should be grateful for them right now, even though I also understand that you dont want to go back to your 'old ways') How big of a body / how much did you weigh before you became severely under weight? You write that you where 'too fat'.. but where you literally overweight? or was that the dysmorphia already * fucking * with you back then so you perceived and still percieve your self as 'too big' back then? With a very low body weight now ( as you've shared both height and body weight here ( 5'1 and 5st kg / 155ish cm andn35 kg(?) I just calculated your BMI to being 13.2 .. that is severely severely under weight 'normal BMI weight range starts at 18.5 and goes to 24.9. For your height that 'normal weight BMI range' is; 98 lbs/ 44.5 kg( is 18.5 BMI) - 59.8 kg (is BMI 24.9) ( Now a caviot to that is that we cant just pick a weight we want to be at that we think sounds/ looks good, that is very likely a genetically predispotition 'programmed in' as to where your body and mind functions at its best...)/2

@soniczforever5470 /3 Now not to freak you out too much, but hoping to encourage you to gather your courage to accept to gain some healthy weight for you and yes in your case that also means some fat ( even though you in one of your comments said you where only willing to gain muscle and not any fat....) Honestly fat will also be needed to be gained to get you anywhere near your healthy weight range ... Anyway, 48 kg is a BMI 20 at your height ( and FYI in a lot of eating disorder recovery programs they recommend under weight individuals to atleast get to an BMI of 18,5 and preferebly 20-21 before they can do any significantly psychological work, as the body and mind is often so malnourished below that weight, that the cognitive functions dont work properly to make any significant 'mental changes', also the body is not functioning properly as it should - for one your hormones are likely not functioning optimally and you very likely dont have your period (while I also know some can have it even in such a low weight as you have it, but most dont have it when under weight, heck some can even lose it while still in their 'normal range' but just ' under weight' for what their body likes...) You being cold all the time and the nerve thing you write about here also very likely do to your severe underweight state... Anyway I would recommend you to try and seek proffesionel help if at all available where you are, this ofc. Depends on what country your in and / or your own financial situation to pay for 'private help' If thats not an option either because you have tried and you didnt 'like' or 'agree' with the help you where offered or public health care and eating disorder treatment is not available where you are (?) and/or you dont have the financial means to pay for private payed help? If you cant or wont seek public health care a couple of suggestions that maybe could be helpful ( maybe even as an add on to public health care...) ( First off ofc. As kind of hinted to previously; try to, at your highest capability to Accept that you need to gain weight and more than few Kgs, more like atleast 9,5-10 Kgs and preferebly 13 ish kg to hit a BMI 20 .... And maybe even consider that youll need to gain more to get to where your body wants to be where your body's ' weight settling point' is programmed to be at - if you want to be healthy and feel good and most likely be able to live your best life!!!)

@soniczforever5470 /4 Anyway i would recommend you to try and seek proffesionel help if at all available where you are, this ofc. Depends on what country your in and / or your own financial situation to pay for 'private help' If thats not an option either because you have tried and you didnt 'like' or 'agree' with the help you where offered or public health care and eating disorder treatment is not available where you are (?) and/or you dont have the financial means to pay for private payed help? If you cant or wont seek public health care a couple of suggestions that maybe could be helpful ( maybe even as an add on to public health care...) ( First off ofc. As kind of hinted to previously; try to, at your highest capability to Accept that you need to gain weight and more than few Kgs, more like atleast 9,5-10 Kgs and preferebly 13 ish kg to hit a BMI 20 .... And maybe even consider that youll need to gain more to get to where your body wants to be where your body's ' weight settling point' is programmed to be at - if you want to be healthy and feel good and most likely be able to live your best life!!!)

@soniczforever5470 /4 Anyway first off I would recommend you to try and seek proffesionel help, if at all available where you are, this ofc. Depends on what country your in and / or your own financial situation to pay for 'private help' If thats not an option either because you have tried and you didnt 'like' or 'agree' with the help you where offered or public health care and eating disorder treatment is not available where you are (?) and/or you dont have the financial means to pay for private payed help? If you cant or wont seek public health care a couple of suggestions that maybe could be helpful ( maybe even as an add on to public health care...) ( First off ofc. As kind of hinted to previously; try to, at your highest capability to Accept that you need to gain weight and more than few Kgs, more like atleast 9,5-10 Kgs and preferebly 13 ish kg to hit a BMI 20 .... And maybe even consider that youll need to gain more to get to where your body wants to be where your body's ' weight settling point' is programmed to be at - if you want to be healthy and feel good and most likely be able to live your best life!!!)

I’m confused by this comment. In the video I’m talking about difficult feelings I had about my body during an eating disorder. I have recovered and now my life is dedicated to helping others make peace with their bodies.