One tip I’d say is always document everything date, time, place, and description for if things escalate to you having to report. Another thing I use to confront people without appearing combative is by asking open ended questions appearing to be dumb, harmless, and inquisitive . In this instance i would’ve said something like “oh you think so, what makes you say that” oh wow, you seem to be really interested in my hair, what draws you to it” It sends the message that their behavior is not going unnoticed and it forces them to expand on their reasoning which gives you more info and ammunition if you end up having to report them. Also, before I put in a complaint I have a fake heart to heart with the harassers by saying something like “sometimes it seems like you’re irritated with me, i think you’re great at your job. I just wanted to check in to see if there’s anything about my performance behavior or attitude that’s bothering you?” Usually when people are just picking on you, they’ll be caught off guard by this conversation and they’ll say that everything is fine. Then when you report, they can’t go back and make up lies about you to retaliate because you’ve documented these interactions
I experienced this big time down south Alabama to be exact. I was working at an airport there and I had braids I paid over 200 to get installed. Anyway long story short, the amount of whispers and dirty looks I received from other employees (all older white women no one else cared) I had them in for not even 5 days. By day 5 I plucked every braid out. This is a topic that doesn't get discussed enough. The craziest thing about it was the actual reason they were mad. One of my then male colleagues explained to me that they were upset because of all the male attention I was getting. And because of that that's why they acted the way they did towards me. Sounds crazy but he said he overheard them talking about it. Needless to say I no longer work there.
As I mature person, I disagree that harassment of younger women about their appearance is because of jealously related to age differences and regrets. At my big age, I still experience people making comments about my appearance because I like to look put together and take time with my appearance-always professional, toned down, and nothing that stands out. It especially happens from people of other ethnicities/races. I work in tech with a lot of people who barely throw on clothes for Zoom meetings. Older women who comment on younger beautiful women's appearance have done this all their lives. When they were younger they were haters, too. I've worked with them all my life, and they don't change. A good way to deal with this is to tell them you are uncomfortable with being singled out for your appearance and ask them to stop. Tell them in person. If it persists, in writing with the necessary people copied. Thank you for this video.
@MadameExotical. I relate to much of what you’ve said. I am considered an “older woman.” The nasty energy and micro aggressions I get from much, much younger women can be sickening. I’ve always been athletic, a runner, into calanetics and adhere to a mostly vegan diet. I’m often told that I look like a model and on and on. At work, my style is chic.I’m reserved but I also am complimentary of both women and men. The nasty, petty attitudes and microagressions I get from much younger women , black, a few wyt and many Hispanic women still surprises me. Older women older get a bad rap for “ hating” on younger women. I’ve seen and experience the reverse. I wonder if society, particularly men, have brainwashed younger women to believe they are always the most desired and the most visually appealing to all men. In believing this, they encounter an older woman who checks all the boxes, is called elegant and gets attention from both younger and older men, they can’t accept it. “ She doesn’t look like me, no eyelash extensions, no extra long colorful nails, the natural makeup look. How can this be?!” I’m sure there are some mature women that do hate on younger women, but I don’t believe it’s to the degree that we’re supposed to believe.
@@angelawarren2567 Thank you for mentioning Callanetics. I'm going to pull out my old DVD. Young women who are haters need to learn to reprogram their thinking to see differently or they will become hating older women. Haters learn to hate long before they turn old. By the time they get old, the have mastered it. Also, many younger and older women are involved with the same men. They just don't know it.
