I can count the friends I have on one hand. And even though I prefer it that way, it wasn’t always the case. I’ve never had more than 2-3 friends at a given time and never had a friend group where we’d all meet to hang out together. Whenever I’d look on social media, people seemed to have dozens of friends. Not one, but different groups of friends that they are a part of, and they all seemed to be having the best of times together. And it seemed like people who had a busy social life were celebrated and liked more and had more opportunities than those who didn’t. I couldn’t help but compare myself to these people and evaluate what my friendships looked like, and I actually thought that there was something wrong with me for not having a larger group of friends. This changed when I started working on my mindset and doing inner work, slowly building my confidence and self esteem. Once I understood what my values are and what kind of people I like to be around, I realized that I’d rather have even one friend that I like, respect, and who I can have meaningful conversations with, than a bunch of people that I don’t really enjoy the company of, just for the sake of saying that I have many friends. I realized that having many friends, doesn't equate to having quality relationships. I realized that my kind of people are rare to find. That I don’t really like hanging out in a group setting. That my schedule doesn’t allow me to meet people very often, and that any friend I have needs to be okay with that. I realized that my time and energy are limited, I need to be very mindful of who I give them to. Some people are just not worth receiving them.
