I Think My Neighbor Is Running A Cult. 

This story has me cracking up. “That’s not Gain, that’s Tide! That shits expensive!” You’ve captured the HOA, middle/upper class suburbanite perfectly

"Her essential oil business has really taken off" is the real fictional aspect here 😅

The fact that his wifes name is Karen and she is starting an essential oils business makes this story a 100/100 from the bat.

When you're worried another cult is moving in. Absolutely hilarious story.

Honestly, protagonist and his wife seem like the most annoying neighbours anyone could have. Nosy and up in everyone's business. The author did a good job of making them unlikeable.

I'm the author.. Thank you all for listening! Your comments are cracking me up, and I really appreciate the love. Hating Brad is the best compliment you can give me! This was inspired by my own two neighborhood hoarders (who live beside each other..haha) and the guy across the street from them with the perfect yard. My own reddit username was inspired by another of my perfect yard neighbors as well. Thanks again!

I never thought I would see the day I wanted to punch a story. The level of smugness in the beginning is infuriating. Well done.

See, this is why you avoid neighborhoods with HOAs like the plague.

Apparently the writer has been watching his neighbors to write this pasta accurately rofl

The Demons learned a lesson, Never take on a fully matured Karen in her prime. Unless she's sleeping. The Author and Narrator are excellent.

This guy is in my top 3 narrators hands down. Always got lighthouse horror in my playlist when I'm working in the garage.

HGTV_Neighbor is quite the writer!! This story was funny, scary, and Lighthouse Horror narrated it filled with all the emotional excellence it contained! The character voices were perfect and both the horror and humor shone thru magnificently! I can’t express enough how much I look forward to your videos and narrations. Always a pleasure and never disappointed! Thank you both very much!

Karens are immune to the mental influence of anyone who doesn't already agree with them.

Man I'm so hooked with this stories specially how the narrator tells the story

Oh, this one is MAGNIFICENT.

This story is funny on so many levels! A snake oil saleswoman chewing out a fitness cultee for selling fluff is amazing.

I am gobsmacked. Blame my dizziness for saying what every Creepypasta narrator least wants to hear - that was one of the funniest stories I've ever heard in my life. I mean rapid-fire stand up comedian funny. In between blowing lukewarm tea out my nose and hawking loogies from my smoke-saturated lungs between gasps for air and wiping tears from my cheeks a thought came to my mind - not only was the story hilarious, a woefully inadequate word, but virtually every freaking sentence had something funny in it. I imagined all the neighborhood spiders gathered to see this preposterous facsimile of their species scuttling over the rooftops and asking are you shitting me ? And how they wouldn't believe it if they hadn't seen it with their own eight eyes. Then things got foggy again as I was lost to further squalls and gasps. It's a damn lucky thing my landlord already thinks I'm insane or I might be strapped to a gurney right now and on my way to study ink blots. As for the delivery well you either have it or you don't and that was a formidable display of 'it' indeed. I hope no one else attempts this story because the best version is right here. I also have a new favorite author right now and I'll read anything of his I can that I don't have to buy on Amazon. The only thing comparable is a writer named Bentley Little who I will keep recommending until everyone puts one of those sleep masks people born without eyelids wear at night just to black me out. But if horror/satire/comedy gets your moon juices bubbling then Bentley Little and THIS guy are exactly who you need. The purgative powers of my laughter convinced me I can shoulder my guilt no longer and it's time to confess. The severed penises are in the

"Which one of you assholes cleaned up my yard?!?".....classic

Horror & humor, no one, Imo, does it better than you lighthouse horor. This story was fantastic with all of it. Thanks man!

Almost 5 minutes in and I already don’t like the main character, wife named Karen with essential oil business, all plant diet, crocs?!?!? FUCKIN’ CROCS?!?! (edit: listened ahead, A GOD DAMN KALE SHAKE?!?!??!?)

I love the looney feel to this, from the change in music to the voice altering and acting, it feels surreal, awesome job!

Honestly, the funniest part about this story is where the neighbor says he found those people in Second Life. I've had an account in that virtual world for almost 8 years now and I totally believe that people like the "Jogging Suit Brigade" could actually exist there. I personally haven't met any because I typically stick to the breedable animals circles, though. I also use a Second Life account for my channel.

Before watching this video, I just want to say, I know to do a 30-45 min video takes at LEAST 2.5 hours to put together. So I just want to say how much I appreciate the longer stories that you and all the other narrators in this genre take time to record. Much love ❤

This story was amazing! Also I like how you added in the small videos playing in the background instead of the typical still picture! Nice job narrating

This is base. The story, the character development, the exquisite narration- I feel like people who aren't enjoying storytellers like you are missing out on something culturally valuable. This is some of your best work. Thank you!

This is a ridiculous story and I love it!

Omgosh!!! I am laughing so hard..... Fantastic job!! I seek you out daily. Thank you LH!!

I've never wanted the protagonists in a creepypasta to just die already like this rube and his wife

"domiciles" and "malarkey"... whew, the word choices slkdjfs wow you even came up with a tune for the cult's song, that's some dedication Karen is a force to be reckoned with... wait is she an Actual Karen being used for good??? sldfkjdslfsd

Absolutely brilliant story choice and narration as always, loving your voice, you really bring these stories to life in my mind 😊

I cannot thank you enough for making so many videos. I have difficulty falling asleep and for some reason creepypastas help. It always make my forever thinking brain calm down. You've helped me many nights already and for that I thank you. ❤

I'm thinking "typical Karen" when I heard about his wife trying to return something lol

Wow.....that was the best story I've heard in a while! Thanks Lighthouse and author.

I laughed at how I could picture this couple perfectly in my mind 😂

That... was a crazy story, lol. Lighthouse, you do a phenomenal job with different voice accents!

Definitely sounds like some nosy suburbs to me, awsome story and well written. Well narrated. 👏

This time Karen saved the day. And rescued Brad from making the biggest mistake of his life.

This one's a product placement extravaganza. Lol.

That last line from Alan really made me chuckle. Fantastic story telling as always!

the most terrifying part of this is that the Karen is the defender of our protagonist and is somehow the good guy

Your voice and the stories keeps me sane

Now this was Such a cool story, loved it to bits! A fresh breath of air into the recent staleness of creepypastas

Ughhhhh I'd be lying if I said I didn't need some of their energy right now......just not sure I'm in the mood for some spidy acrobatics though 🤔 Brilliant narration Lighthouse!

The circus-like music added to the surreal nature of this one. Great choice!

Not what I expected and that was what made the story wonderful.

That was great, and was good to hear from you my friend!

Everytime I hear the word " gainer " I think of Nakey jakey making backflip jokes. Great video btw. You nailed it

10:50 NOW THAT'S CREEPY😳 "only raw organic food" ....I think I know where this is going....

That spider sound was so cool lol I replayed that part like 4 times

" Duluth Trading Khakis..." This got a huge laugh out of me for some reason. My thought was "maybe if you went for Duck Canvas it wouldn't have gotten as soaked?"

This was equal parts funny asf and terrifying! Narration spot on as always.

I found you around 2 weeks ago and I must say I'm happy i did you are a great narrator

Omg... Karen vs. The Cult?! This is brilliant.

You're a great narrator. Been an interesting story so far. I listen to many of these at night while I can't sleep. You've earned another subscriber.

This could absolutely be a comedic horror movie. It has every great aspect of one.

I loved this one kinda reminded me of a Twilight Zone episode or at best something you'd see on The Ray Bradbury Theater also the cult song was hilarious (great job as always on the different characters and voice work) Thank You Lighthouse for a truly enjoyable story

I love how the "respectable" neighbors are the horror in this story. Lol!

Wow I was mesmerized by this author! Please get more.

"Proven, anecdotal evidence" Well that's a contradiction in terms right there 😂

The entitlement saved them lol

This was both hilarious and terrifying. Oh my god

This story reminds me of a modern retelling of “In the Hills, The Cities”

Wow, what an awesome story! And you narrated it so well! Thank-you for posting this, I thoroughly enjoyed it!

This story was hilariously terrifying

OMG this story is awesome, thank you to the author and thank you LH for a thoroughly engrossing narration!!

The light house spotted another banger,lets goo

I didn't think I'd like that he added Karen to the story but that was actually a good character. Great story btw!

Neighbors reply wasn't anger. It was funny as all hell!!! "No, no, no, and no." Lmao 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂

HGTV Neighbor I can't wait to hear more of your stories. That was the best.

"I love that mower" I nearly hurt myself laughing when I heard that.

I absolutely loved this intriguing and at many points, humorous little story... Thank you to the author❤

Ok this story was actually a good one , ending made me giggle and laugh~

Outlines pegboard. Running for head of the board. Wife: Karen who sells essential oils... Oh no that poor neighbor (is only 3 1/2 min in)

How did LH get through this without breaking into helpless guffaws? This shit’s HILARIOUS.😂😂

What a fantastic story, you always narrate the best stories ❤ Happy Bee 🐝 Day. Thanks for sharing Stephen xxx

I absolutely loved the reference to Karen… The fox yuppie narrator… And Sean Hannity. If I wasn’t laughing so hard, it might actually have been scary. Kudos to the author absolutely hysterically perfect.

Loving this one Lighthouse Horror you rock my friend 🕷️🕷️🕷️

You had my attention throughout this story up until Brad was climbing on the roof again, the you had my utmost consciousness focused and concerned with the story!

I'm at work looking insane cuz this story is hilarious!!!!! I don't know if the intent was for it to be funny or terrifying but for me it is a present mixture of both! I've been listening to stories with your narration for a couple days now and I love your channel more and more everyday!!

Hey LH😊hope your good,Thankyou for another fantastic story!,I loved it lol your telling of it had me giggling with what Brad was saying😁....I always look forward to adding your stories to my playlist🥰🥰

New lighthouse horror reading, pog moment

Wow this was really an unusual one! Was not expecting it to go the way it did

this story was so tounge in cheek lol

O.o creepy. Pure horror, those suburbs

I appreciate the effort you've put into the video to go along with the story. 👍

Awesome job! I love your channel; you're the perfect narrator! 🥰 Keep on rocking it!

The essential oils get me a clue and dang i was right lmfao

This is absolutely one of the best stories yet !!!

This was a super enjoyable story! Not gonna lie I didn’t find it super scary though, honestly the visual imagery of a human spider is hilarious

Did a great job portraying upper middle class suburbia, bravo 👏

This was a fantastic story! I enjoyed it very much. Chuckled a lot too. Narrator was excellent as usual.

I love me some Lighthouse Horror !

this... This is what a creepy pasta is, and what it should be... freaking awesome..

It's a bit funny having King Creole tell this story 🤣😂 Another amazing story..

That chanting was terrifying 😱😱. Well done Lighthouse 👏🏾 👏🏾 👏🏾

karen shrieking about coupons and managers and tidepods. this was just gold lmao!

Colorful suits, acrobatics, transform into a giant being......... Sounds like the Powerrangers to me

I'm only halfway through and I can't get enough, this is HILARIOUS

I am never going to look the same to one of my neighbours again. I legit have one of such kind Neighbours, altough only is backyard is thrashed tull there is only a path to walk through

Love your story,I really enjoyed it.